Title: I Need You
Disclaimer: Not mine
Summary: What if Max hadn’t come back in CDB? Its three months later and Liz graduated high school in Vermont and is now back in Roswell. But is Max really gone?
AN: I got the idea for this out of blue earlier today and thought I’d give it a try. If you like it leave feedback please! I’d really appreciate it!
Summer break. Those two words had most people jumping for joy. Summer break to most teenagers was by definition, a time for fun, to relax and let loose, to have the freedom to stay out as late as you wanted and do whatever you wanted. It was like a permanent weekend.
But Liz Parker, newly graduated from high school, was dreading summer. Summer meant that she had to come home; home meant that she had to remember.
The night was humid and dark, the moon being the only thing that lit up the sky. Liz let out a shiver despite the heat as she stepped out of the car. She was home. She hadn’t been home since his memorial service which was in early March. It was now mid June and if she had it her way she would have stayed in Vermont. But her parents were worried for her and insisted that she come home so they could keep watch over her.
To say she took Max’s death hard is an understatement. She remembered exactly when the reality of his death hit her.
*~* It was cold and it was dark in the park this late at night. After Maria had confirmed what she already knew, that love of her life was dead, she needed to get away. Two hours later she was sitting by herself in the park.
Reality was starting to dawn on her now, the initial shock wearing off. Max was dead. It became a mantra in her head. He was gone and she was alone. All of her plans, everything she did to protect him, was it for nothing? She felt the guilt creeping into her and finally it consumed her. It was all her fault. She changed the future, she did this. Her stupid plan killed Alex and Max. What if she would have told Max the truth about what had happened? Maybe she could have avoided all of this.
She fell to her knees on the hard, cold, wet ground of the park and let out a sob. Tears were flowing freely down her face as she now sobbed openly. This was her breaking point. So lost in her own world, she didn’t hear Maria come up to her from behind. Kneeling on the ground so she was eye level with Liz, their tears reflecting in each others eyes she silently wrapped her arms around the other girl doing her best to comfort her when she wasn’t even sure how to comfort herself.
Liz responded to Maria and hugged her back. They cried on each other for what seemed like an eternity until Maria spoke.
“I’m so sorry Lizzie.”
“He’s really dead Maria. I knew it. I didn’t want to believe it but I knew it,” sighing she fought to keep her composure and not burst into another round of tears “I did this. This is my fault. I-If I would have just told Max about Future Max or if I would’ve just found some other way I…god,” she lost the battle to remain clam and another wave of sobs over took her.
"No no no no. Liz listen to me you didn’t do this. Okay. You didn’t do this. All you did was what you thought was best. You did the best you could with what you were told. How can this be your fault? Liz, Max loved you. He wouldn’t want you to feel this way. If anything he’d want you to go on with your life and be happy.” Maria rushed out trying to get through to her best friend.
“But how can I be happy if I’m not with him?” she asked crying harder
Watching her friend suffer brought new tears to Maria’s eyes. She had absolutely no idea what Liz was going through, could only guess the amount of pain her best friend was feeling. Although Max was her friend too and she was devastated over his passing, Liz was in love with him and Maria couldn’t even imagine how she would feel if she were in that position. “I don’t know honey. I honestly don’t know. In time you will be happy again though Liz. Right now I have no idea what you’re going through and I have no idea how I can help you. But I’m going to try my hardest and I’m going to be here for you every step of the way. Oh sweetie,” she hugged Liz tightly to her again and forced the tears back. She was going to be strong. She would be strong for Liz.
“Maria, do you think he knew I still loved him?” Liz asked quietly after sometime.
Pulling apart so Maria could look her in the eyes she exclaimed, “Of course he knew! Why would you think he didn’t?”
“I left him, I left him and I didn’t say goodbye. How could I have done that? I dropped off a letter to Michael’s apartment and left it for him. He probably thought I hated him. I don’t know if I can live with myself now. Things between us were so bad and I wasn’t going to stay away forever, I really wasn’t. I just needed time to myself and then I would have come home and we could’ve worked everything out. I wanted to be with him. I really did.” She confessed to Maria.
“I know you did. I know you did and so did he. Honey of course he knew that you loved him despite the way things were between you two when you came here. He knew because he was Max, just like you would have known if the roles were reversed.”
“I don’t think I can do this Maria. I don’t have any strength left to face this.” She broke down into tears once again.
“You don’t have to be the strong one now Liz. You’re always the strong one. Let me be strong for you now. You’ll get through this and I’ll always be here for you.” Maria again hugged Liz tightly and the two stayed like that in the park for another hour, not talking just comforting each other.
Maria had been wonderful, still was, in helping her get past her guilt. It would never completely go away though.
Hearing her name being called she snapped out of her daydream and looked around to find whoever it was that had called her name. Turning her head to the side she saw Kyle running towards her. She smiled and ran to meet him half way. They met in the middle and he wrapped his arms around her enveloping her in a tight embrace.
“Long time no see”
"I know. Three months almost. How have you been?” she asked him as he let her go.
“Me? I’m just peachy.” He smirked at her then turning serious, “What about you? How are you doing?”
She smiled at his concern for her. “I’m not good but I’m not bad either. I’m in the middle I guess.”
“If you need anything you know you can call me.”
“I know. And thank you.”
“Anytime. How about I help you with your bags? Where are your parents?” He asked as he grabbed her hand and led her back to the sidewalk in front of the Crashdown that was littered with her bags.
“Yes you can help me, thank you. And my parents will be home tomorrow morning. They had to go on some business thing, I wasn’t really listening.”
“Heard from Deluca yet?”
“Actually I just got off the phone with her before the cab dropped me off here. She’s heading back to Roswell next week.” And then after a moment of silence she asked, “How is Isabel doing? I haven’t seen her since the memorial. I haven’t even talked to her since then.”
“She’s in the middle too I guess. It’s only been three months, the wounds are still raw. I think she’d like to see you though.”
“I’d like to see her too.” She admitted sadly.
“Alright lets get these bags upstairs” he grabbed a few of her bags and with a quick smile to Liz he hauled them up to her room.
[ edited 4 time(s), last at 7-Mar-2002 10:42:02 PM ]
posted on 5-Mar-2002 11:36:06 PM by dreamcatcher
I just wanted to say hi and thanks for the feedback!
Thanks guys for reading and for the fb!!! Part 2 will be up tomorrow!!!
[ edited 1 time(s), last at 5-Mar-2002 11:39:37 PM ]
posted on 6-Mar-2002 6:19:12 AM by dreamcatcher
Hiagain! I just wanted to thank you guys for the feedback!!
A new part will be up as soon as I get home from school today!!
Thanks for reading you guys!!
posted on 6-Mar-2002 5:50:20 PM by dreamcatcher
Thanks to those who left feedback. You guys are great! frenchkiss70
Care_Behr- I’m sorry you’re sick! I know exactly how you feel though babe. I had the flu last week and it wasn’t fun at all! The good thing was I missed four days of school ;)
Katmcken – I hate sad endings so I promise it won’t be sad!!
Thanks for the feedback girlies!
So here is part 2. I’m really sorry this part is so boring!
Hearing the phone ring Isabel raced over to it. Grabbing it on the last ring she panted breathlessly into the receiver, “Hello”
“Isabel? What’s wrong is everything okay?” Jesse asked nervously. Ever since she was shot, he was extra tense when it came to her.
“No nothing is wrong. I was in the other room when the phone rang so I’m kind of out of breath. Are you on your way home?” she asked hopefully. He’d been working late for almost two weeks straight. She was starting to get worried; maybe he did it on purpose. Maybe he was trying to avoid her.
“That’s why I’m calling. I’m sorry; I have to work late again. I just didn’t want you to wait up.” He said into the phone and after she was silent for a few moments he spoke again, “You’re mad. Isabel I’m so sorry.”
She was mad, truthfully she was. But she didn’t want him to feel guilty because he had to work late so she broke herself out of trance, “No baby its okay. I’m just kind of bummed you know? I was really hoping that you’d be home tonight. I miss you that’s all.”
“I’m sorry. I miss you too. But this weekend is all ours. I promise.”
“Okay. I love you.”
“I love you too. And Isabel be careful, don’t do anything crazy okay” he always said this when they were hanging up, ever since he found out about her other worldly status he’d been so paranoid she was going to go off and do something crazy again like she did the night Max died.
“Jesse, I am not going to get into any trouble. Maybe I’ll just call Kyle or something. Alright?”
“Yes I promise.”
“Okay. I love you, bye.”
“I love you too. Bye.” Hanging up the phone she sighed loudly. This was getting tiring. Things between her and Jesse had been really strained after she was shot. He was really supportive with her in dealing with Max’s death but he didn’t trust her. She knew that even now, three months later, he still didn’t trust her. And she didn’t blame him. Three months isn’t exactly a lot of time to restore trust in someone that you thought you knew completely. Isabel lied to him and she would never make that mistake again.
Now she was bored and had an entire night to fill with something to do. She supposed she could just have a quiet night watching movies or reading a book, but she wasn’t really in the mood to do that. Picking up the phone she dialed the familiar number.
“Oh just shut up!” Liz laughed as she said this sticking her tongue out at Kyle.
“Well come on! What the hell is this thing? It really does look like a dog threw up on it! Maria give this to you?” he asked wryly while holding up a sweater that was a mix of brown, red, purple, blue, and pink. It wasn’t really an ugly shirt, the cut was cute, but the colors were hideous together.
She grabbed a hanger and snatched it out of his hand. “It isn’t that ugly. And yes Maria did give it to me.”
He gave her a knowing look, “Bring it home so she could see you wearing it at least once huh?
“Yes!” she laughed “I didn’t know what to say when she said that she never saw me wear it.”
“Well just…” the ringing of his cell phone cut him off. He looked down at the caller id on the phone. Isabel. “It’s Isabel” he said and watched Liz’s demeanor change from happy to serious.
Crossing the room to sit on the bed, “Answer it.” She instructed.
Nodding his head he answered. “Hey Isabel.”
“Kyle. What are you up to right now?”
“I’m with a friend.”
He could clearly hear her disappointment when she replied, “Oh. Okay then. I guess I’ll just catch up with you later.”
“Is Jesse working late again?”
He looked to Liz, his expression torn. If Liz wasn’t ready to see Isabel again yet, then he didn’t want to force her to. And there was no way he was leaving Liz right now. So he was going to have to tell Isabel he’d see her later. That was his intention until Liz, who was trying to mouth something to him, got up and took the phone from him.
“Hi Isabel,” uncertainty was reigning in her voice as she spoke.
“Liz? Is that you?” the other girl questioned.
“Yes, it’s me. How are you?”
“I’m okay. And you?”
“I’m not too bad. Listen Kyle and I aren’t really doing anything and if you’re free then I’d really like it if we could get together. You could come here or we could go there. Or we could meet somewhere. I mean unless you’re busy.” Liz was nervous about seeing Isabel again. It wasn’t like she didn’t want to see her but she knew that she was like a constant reminder of Max to Isabel. Just like Isabel was a constant reminder of Max to her. But they were still friends nonetheless.
“That’d be good Liz. I’ll be over in like a half hour. Is that okay?”
“That’s fine with me. I’ll see you then.”
“Bye” she said quietly and then hung up the phone handing it back to Kyle.
“Isabel’s coming over?”
“Yeah I really want to see her you know.”
“I know.” The room was silent. Liz was lying on her comforter staring up at the ceiling while Kyle was sitting in a chair staring at Liz.
He felt so awful for her; he knew how hard it was just to be in this place again. He wanted to make sure to do everything he could to keep her mind off of Max and the whole situation. He knew he couldn’t really stop her from thinking about Max, but he was going to try to keep her busy.
Crossing the room to her bed he looked down at her. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was shallow. She looked peaceful. Kyle went to the edge of the bed and got the blanked that was folded there. He opened it up and covered her with it, then quietly left the room to watch television in the living room.
posted on 7-Mar-2002 10:34:21 PM by dreamcatcher
Hi everyone! Thank you sooo much for the feedback! You guys are great! I will have a new part up tomorrow for sure! I'm going to start on it now so it will be all ready for tomorrow! Thanks for reading this! It makes me soo happy! I'm glad you are enjoying this!
P.S Jenn! Hey sweetie! I'm glad you liked this! Hey you know what I am still like waiting for another update on ER! lol! get writing babe!
Oh Katie you are too funny babe! When I was reading what you wrote I was like cracking up! You are the like the best! I was going to tell you I started a new fic but I haven't talked to you in like soooooooooo long!!!! lol!!! I didn't mean to make you have to get into all investagator mode! Sorry!! Okay gotta go! Luv ya!