|posted on 7-Mar-2002 8:54:19 AM by skyserpant|
|hey there! I know its been like AGES since I have updatted but I have a good excuse. IM TRAVELLING in five months! Which means that I will have to pay for this, which means that I am working two jobs to support myslef and this trip!|
Beacause of this I have had hardly any time to jump on my lovely computer but recently I have been able to organise my time much better. Anyway, here is the whole story PLUS two new parts. I hope you enjoy and the next part should me out in a few days. I PROMISE!!!
Well guys, here is the truth (that only you, my fellow Roswellians know). This fic that I am writing is based on events that happened to me. Yet the ending will be different because it will definanlty be a happy ending. So Liz (me) is slowly realizing just how special her friends polite, and somewhat quite brother Max (undisclosed) is. The more she sees him, the more she feels for him. With me, the feelings have not reached love, just an extreme awareness. But as we know M/L always fall in love (in my world anyway)!
Title: Love’s funny that way!
Author: Tina Katselos
Rating: PG-R (For bad language, hey its my life story here LOL)
Disclaimer: NO THE CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE! RELAX ALREADY!!!
Summary: Liz, Isabelle and Maria are best friends. Isabelle has a slightly older brother whom Liz thought was a just a friend. Slowly she realized there’s more to Max then blood ties with Isabelle and Liz understands why love can be so damn unfair~
So I'm in the car with Isabelle and Maria and we’re on our way to Maria’s job interview. Yea, yea, I know what you guys are saying. Why would we ALL go to Maria’s job interview? To give her guidance of course, we always do stuff like this. Isabelle tells her what to wear and how to act and I give her the rundown on typical interview questions and help her with her answers. You should see Maria, she is stressing, BIG TIME! Its like she’s having an interview for some really great job, that will kick start her career but in actual fact it’s only for a job in a music store. You see we all just finished college at the University of New Mexico, three weeks ago. We’re planning to go to Europe together for the European summer, so we don’t want anything serious. Just a job where there is a paycheck, and we won’t have our parents on our backs everyday! So yep, Maria is applying for a job in a music store, Isabelle works in a clothing store and I work in a sandwich bar. As you probably would have guessed, I make sandwiches. If Maria gets this job then we would all work in the same shopping center. Isn’t that the coolest?
“So when they ask what my biggest weaknesses are, what do I say? That I'm lazy, I never finish anything on time and I talk too much? I mean c’mon”
I look at Maria and I feel like slapping her out this state that she is in. She kills me when she gets like this. I mean we have been over this question twice already. From the front passenger seat, I turn my head around to face Maria who is sitting in the back. “No Maria, when you get a question like that you use it to your advantage. For example” I say lifting up my eyebrows “I guess my biggest weakness would have to be that I'm a perfectionist”. This statement causes an “as if” from Isabelle who is driving. “Shut up, this is only until she gets the job, after that she only has to be there for six months before we leave”. Then I continue talking to Maria while giving Isabelle looks, so she does not say anything. “As I said, ‘my greatest weakness is that I am a perfectionist, meaning that at times, I tend too spend too much time on one thing”. Maria smiles and I'm surprised at Isabelle because she was able to contain herself through my little speech. Yet she’s still smiling, it looks as though it’s getting hard to contain though, so I change the subject before she just bursts out laughing. It’s funny when you think about it. There are only a few people who really get to see the real Isabelle. Her family obviously, Me, Maria and her boyfriend Alex. They’ve been together forever. The Isabelle that everyone else sees is the bitchy and cold side. Maybe it’s because she was born with killer looks and learnt to use them to her advantage, what ever it is, I'm happy that when I'm with Isabelle she’s real, and that’s all that really matters.
Now, I mentioned earlier that Isabelle has a boyfriend named Alex. Well she’s not the only one with a boyfriend. Maria is also dating this guy that she met at college. He’s name is Michael. Not your typical dream man, but he’s ok. A bit to edgy for my tastes but Maria likes him so… Now me? Well I am the only one who is single. Do you know what its like being the only one without a boyfriend? It’s terrible sometimes. Sure, I’ve had a few relationships but nothing serious. Sometimes I think that it’s time for me to find someone but then I remember my dream. EUROPE! I have to experience life before I even think of getting into anything serious. I look over to Isabelle once more and I wonder how she will leave Alex. Will they brake up? Will they put it on hold? Who knows?
“And if they ask why my marks were not so good in college”? Maria asks, still feelings extremely nervous.
“They are not going to ask you that Maria, your applying for a job in a music store, not for Time magazine, now get of the car and knock em’ dead” I tell her as Isabelle stops the car in front of the mall, actually, its not really a mall but it’s the closest thing that Roswell, New Mexico has to a mall so…
Isabelle and I decide to stay in the car and wait. The interview won’t go for more than twenty minutes anyway. I take out a cigarette and offer Isabelle one. Today she doesn’t want one. Isabelle is one of those social smokers, who only smokes when she feels like it. I, on the other hand, being the idiot that I am, got myself addicted and have been smoking for the part five years. I thought I was so cool when I was sixteen, but now that I'm almost 21 I would give anything to stop. But it’s not just the health side that bugs me, it’s the money. I, Liz Parker cannot afford to smoke and that is the honest to god truth. Taking another drag, I almost choke at what Isabelle says next. “Max broke up with Kathy”
“What”? I say, totally shocked. Max and Kathy were like the perfect couple. Totally in love, always together and always happy... or so it seemed. “Why”?
“You know Max, he has to get his shit together before he gets serious with anyone. He wants to get a real job, not nights shifts, doing customer service”.
“Is he upset”? I ask. I can’t believe this, Max and Kathy broke up, it still has not sunk in. They were the couple that everyone thought would last. But I guess everyone was wrong.
“Yea he is, I mean, he told me he still loves her”
I get a small pain in my chest when I hear this. Why? I don’t know.
“If he loves her then…”
“That’s all he told me, he needs to sort himself out”. Hearing this I feel like I'm starting to understand Isabelle’s reclusive brother a bit more. You know when you find you have something in common with someone you feel closer to them? Well that’s what I feel with Max Evans. We both need space. We both need to figure out who we are. Geez, why does life have to be so scary and confusing?
That was it. That was where it all started. That conversation was the first time I ever thought about Max as Max, rather than Isabelle’s polite, and quiet older brother.
I wake up in the morning and head into the shower. I have to be ready in half and hour for work. As I walk into the shower I cannot stop thinking about Max and Kathy’s break up. I mean how can a couple so devoted, just break up out of the blue? Isabelle told me that for their Six month anniversary as a couple they went to dinner, exchanged presents, and then went for a drive. Apparently during this drive, Max stopped the car and pulled to the side of the curb. He put in the song that they had christened as theirs. The song was ‘Angel of Mine’ by Monica. He then got out of the car and pulled her with him. Then, they danced.
That was only a month ago. I can’t help thinking, what changed? Can people grow apart in such a short time? Doing my best to clear these thoughts out of my head I head into the shower. Why do I care about what Max does anyway, it’s none of my business.
Great, just fucking great! I missed that stupid bus, I was only late one minute but sometimes one minute is all it takes. Dejectedly, I put my head down. Not looking forward to the walk and the lecture from my big, fat boss, who thinks yelling at people is proper work etiquette. After five minutes of walking I hear a car pull up beside me. Not looking around I walk faster. I’ve always been paranoid like that. Always been very cautious. I then hear a beep and I turn to find that it’s Max. Surprised I walk to the car and he rolls down his window. He’s dressed in a suit, which surprises me. “My, my” I say, “aren’t we looking very snazzy today”?
“Why thanks Parker” Max has called me Parker ever since I can remember. I can’t remember the last time he called me Liz. “I'm actually going to an interview” he says, “where are you going? You look as though you could use a lift”.
“I'm going to work actually” and of course, my fierce independence kicks in, “but it’s ok, it’s a nice day, I can walk”.
“Don’t be crazy, it’s on the way anyway, hop in” Forgetting my stubborn side, I open the door and sit down. I notice that he has classical music playing the in the background. He always listens to that. Before I used to hate it, but now it sounds kinda soothing.
“What? No complaints about the music?”
“Nope, I like it”
“You’ve changed” Hearing this I turn to look at Max but he is staring at the road.
“Changed, how”? I'm getting paranoid again now, is it a good change, or a bad change?
“I don’t know, you seem older, more mature, not so young anymore” He looks over to me and I think I see something, is it…? No it can’t be.
“What do you mean not so young, your only two years older than I am anyway”
And its true, he is. But Max has always seemed much older. I don’t know why but…maybe it’s because he’s traveled. Last year he came back, after leaving for a whole year. He went to Africa, Europe, and ended up staying in London for eight months. I remember just asking him questions about different cultures and things and always being totally intrigued.
“I know, sorry Parker, but I guess I just always thought of you and Isabelle’s friend, not as Liz parker” His voice is soft and very low.
WOW! You don’t know what it feels like when I hear him say ‘Liz’. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him say that before. I ignore the emotions that are slowly magnifying inside of me.
“So, now you see me as…”
“A woman.” He completes my sentence for me. I smile at him, and he smiles back. The rest of the car ride is in complete silence but it’s comfortable. Nothing but our breathing, and the soft music in the background.
“So Max told me he gave you a lift this morning” Isabelle, Maria and I are sitting in one of the café’s in the mall sipping our coffees, Maria got the job by the way and today is her first day of training. Today, I’m not the only one smoking. Isabelle is having one too. Blowing out the smoke I ask:
“When did you speak to him”? I caught myself before I started getting defensive. I have to make myself relax. It’s no big deal, and it’s obvious Isabelle does not think so.
“He called me at work and told me that the interview went well. He was really exited”.
“What job is applying for”? Maria asks.
“Financial adviser, that’s what he studied at college so he’s doing his best to get into his field. If he gets the job their going to train him for three months here in Roswell but then he will be transferred to San Francisco”. My heart falls when I hear this. I don’t know why, but it does. Changing the subject I bring up our trip.
“So when are we going to book our tickets”?
“I think that we should put a deposit on our flight and the tour tomorrow on our lunch break” Maria said before taking another sip of her café late.
“Yea, tomorrow”! Isabelle said excitedly. The rest of our lunch break was spent discussing our trip, all three of us ecstatic and waiting for the time where our eyes would finally be open and our lives would change forever.
We did it! We finaly did it! Our tickets are booked. Our tour is booked and everything is organized. I can’t believe that it’s finally happening. You cannot believe how exited I am. Unlike yesterday morning, I was able to make the bus home on time. I’m so tired. One would not believe it, but working in a sandwich bar can be very tiring. For one, there is the asshole of a boss. I – can – not – stand – him!!! He is so rude. He’s perverse and takes pleasure out putting others down. Why I still work there? I don’t know, maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment? At the moment Tony (my boss), has no idea of my traveling plans and I can’t wait for the day when I literally, take off my apron and walk out of that god forbidden place. That, and the fact that in six months I will either be in Greece, Italy or France soaking up the European sun, keeps me going. Had it not been for my dreams I would have lost it a long time ago.
One week later
It’s Saturday Morning, one of the only days in the week where I get to sleep in and I am rudely awakened by the ringing of my cell phone. Still half asleep I answer the phone only to hear Isabelle’s voice on the other side.
“Liz Parker, are you still sleeping”.
“Yes” I mumble.
“Well get up you lazy cow”!
“Isabelle, what possesses you to call me at this stupid hour”
“Its 9:30” As if that makes it better. My usual wake up call is at twelve (on a Saturday anyway).
“What is it Isabelle”?
“Max got the job” She sounds exited. Great, as I feel my heart drop she gets exited.
“That’s great,” I say with false bravado.
“I know, were all stoked. Mum is so happy, and Dad too. Not to mention Max. He’s ready for this you know? But the reason I called is because were going out tonight for celebratory drinks, what time should I pick you up?”
So we make plans for tonight, were going to a local bar. Nothing too flash, just a place where we can sit, talk and drink. But the problem is, is that I don’t feel like drinking now. I feel like crying and it’s killing me. Because I, Liz Parker am developing feelings for a man whom I’ve known all my life and never took notice of. A man who in three months, is leaving me for good.
Have you ever felt that you know someone but really you don’t? When you think that you know what someone is like, but then you learn that they are totally different? Tonight, in a span of only a few hours I learnt that sometimes you never really know anybody and that’s scary.
Maria is driving tonight, Isabelle wants to drink a little and my car is getting fixed, that thing is always breaking down! So Isabelle is the passenger seat and I'm in the back wrapping up the bottle of Scotch that Maria and I chipped in for Max.
“That must have been so funny” I hear only the last part of the conversation that Isabelle and Maria are having so I bring myself up to speed.
“What was funny”?
“Isabelle was just telling me about Max’s second interview:”
“You should have seen Max when he was telling me and my parents, he was reenacting the whole thing, it was the funniest thing, he’s a crack-up”.
“He is”? To be honest, I'm surprised, I've never thought of Max as funny guy, to be really honest, until recently, I've never really thought of Max as anything at all. And now it seems that I'm thinking about him all the time.
“Yea, of course he is”! Isabelle sounded shocked. “He’s always the life of the party”.
Where have I been? Have I missed out on something? Is my brain not working? I mean sure, when we were younger he used to make us laugh, but then I grew up and he didn’t. Or maybe it was just because when I grew up, I just never paid attention, well not much anyway. I felt a pang of guilt at this thought and I feel confused. I try to understand why I feel guilty, why I feel bad and there is no logical explanation. Well nothing that I want to admit to myself anyway. The second thing I realize is just how damn sexy Max Evans is…
So we walk into this place, it’s called Eagle Bar. Its probable the most decent place in this town. I repeat the name in my head constantly, Eagle Bar, Eagle Bar, Eagle Bar. As I do this I think about how bad the night life in Roswell is, with one of its most popular places called, ‘Eagle Bar’. Shaking my head I walk into the bar only to see Max Evans sitting down on a table with his buddies (and a few girls that I fell like slapping) and it seems their all laughing. It looks as though were late because these guys are already half way drunk. Max takes a sip of scotch (I know its scotch because he always drinks that), as he lifts up his head he spots us. He gets up, drink in hand and walks towards us. He has this amazing smile on his face and his pants fit him oh-so-well. Then it hits me. The man is truly beautiful. Isabelle gives him a hug then Maria is next. She offers her congratulations then it’s my turn. Granted, it’s not the first time I've hugged him in my life, but it’s the first time I've hugged him feeling the way I do. I prepare myself for the closeness, feeling exited but not trying to show it.
“Congratulations Max, I'm so happy for you” I walk towards him and embrace him, he feels so warm and strong, I can smell him, smell his aftershave. I don’t know what it is but it does wonders to my senses. I turn my head to give him a kiss on the cheek and he turns his head too. Missing his cheek I kiss the corner of his mouth. Jumping apart we stare at each other. That kiss shocked me out of my ‘Max induced’ daze and I became fully aware of my surroundings.
“Sorry” he says, “but thanks for coming”. I see the way he is looking at me and begin to wonder if he feels it too. If he feels this chemistry that suddenly seems to be there whenever we are in the same room.
“Drink”? I hear him say.
“No I'm fine”.
“C’mon Parker, Maria, Isabelle, c’mon”. He takes my hand and leads us all to the bar. Maria and Isabelle order their drinks and before I can order Max interrupts and says, “Bailey’s for the lady”. I turn to him and all he does is smile. I can’t believe he knows what I drink! Carrying our drinks to the table, I see Sean Deluka. He and Max have been friends for a while now, and of course with a name like Deluka he has to be related to Maria, a distant cousin she calls him, but he’s actually her first. She doesn’t like him much. I on the other hand have always thought he was kinda cute. Nothing to go gaga over but just something to keep an eye on, like a piece of furniture. But being the big flirt that I am, I'm prone to throw a smile or two around. I have not seen Sean in a while and looks as though he hasn’t changed. Still a cutie, but not a hottie. Nowhere near Max’s league, but then again, who is?
“Liz Parker?” I hear Sean say, “all grown up, I like it”.
His tone alone is enough to make any woman’s stomach turn.
“It happens” I reply. Nope, Sean Deluka is no longer a cutie, now he’s just plain annoying.
“That it does,” He sounds like those disgusting old men that leer at you, but for the sake of Max, I decide to keep my opinionated mouth closed. That alone, being a very rare occurrence is very big of me I think! I give him a small cold smile and turn to look at Max. I'm surprised when I see the expression on his face. He looks as though he wants to punch Sean. I secretly beam on the inside. He cares, he cares! I keep saying to myself. Max looks at me and we connect in some sort of way. I smile a small smile and he gives me one back. He drinks the last of his scotch and pulls out a chair for me, right next to his.
“Not yet” I say, motioning my head towards the chair and placing my drink on the table. “But save it, I’ll be right back”. Two minutes later I arrive back at the table and hand Max a scotch. He looks at me surprised and is about to protest. I stop him before he gets the chance. “Hey, you’re the one celebrating tonight, I should be buying you drinks”. Had he not been tipsy he probably would have went on but instead he places his arm around my shoulders and gives me a peck on the cheek.
“Thanks Parker, just so you know, you’ve always been special to me”. He gives this slow smile and I do all I can to not just grab him and ravish him right there. Where did that come from? Is it because he’s drunk and he doesn’t know what he is saying? Or is because he really means it? Were in the middle of this staring contest and it looks as though it’s getting dangerous. His head is inching towards mine. He seems to have forgotten that there are people around. He seems to have forgotten that ISABELLE is around. But I haven’t. Stopping what would get us into trouble I remind Max why he and I just would not work.
“Isabelle” I whisper. He’s head snaps back as if he suddenly remembered that I am his sisters best friend. I get out of my chair and sit next to Isabelle and Maria. Tonight is going to be a long night.
It’s finaly the end of the night and we’re all ready to go home. Isabelle is totaled; Alex didn’t make it tonight so instead she decided to get drunk. This of course means that in no way can she drive so I take the keys. We decided that Max would come home with us since he came with Sean. Sean met a girl at a bar and he is still waiting to get her phone number. I feel like running up to the girl and shaking her. Telling her not to be crazy and get involved with this guy. After getting Isabelle into the car we take off.
“So girls” Max starts, he’s sitting in the front passenger seat. He’s so close I could smell him. It scent is intoxicating. “Did you have a good night”?
“A great night” Maria replies. Isabelle is out of it and I'm concentrating on the road.
“Liz, you?” He turns to me as he asks me, I just stare at him, for some reason I feel angry towards him. I don’t know why. As if it’s his fault that I feel this way. It’s only a short ride to Maria’s and a shorter ride to Isabelle’s. As Max gets out of the car I say:
“Tell Isabelle to pick up her car tomorrow” Before Max closes he speaks.
“Wait here, I’ll be right back” a few minutes later, after walking Isabelle safety into the house he comes back into the car.
“What”? I say.
“Can you do me a favor”?
“What?” I repeat.
“Just drive me to the servo so I can get some cigarette’s (yea, he smokes too), then we can talk”.
“About what?” As if I don’t know.
“Please” He says this, knowing that I am relentless. I can’t help it. I'm a sucker for him so I do as he says.
Parking the car at a nearby park, Max lights a cigarette and hands it to me. He then lights one for himself. He’s so thoughtful, what am I saying? He’s perfect. Unfortunately, in this life, he’s not perfect for me.
“So” I begin.
“So” He repeats.
“Max, c’mon, you said you wanted to talk”
“I know I'm sorry, I just don’t like it when…”
“You were upset at me on the way home before, why?”
Because I'm falling for you I want to say, but nothing comes out. So I stay silent with my head down. I feel his finger under my chin tilt my face up and suddenly his face is only a few inches away from mine. Slowly our faces come closer, and closer, until I can fell his breath on my cheek. He’s so close I can almost taste him. I want to kiss him. Throwing caution to the wind I fuse my lips with his, not caring about anything but him.
Our mouths melt. Out tongues mingle. We’re in perfect sink. As if we were made for each other. He puts his hands on the side of my face. I put one hand behind his head and try to pull him closer. The kiss is hungry and passionate. I've never been kissed like this before, I feel as though I'm being ravished and I love it. Before I know it I'm straddling him. Usually, making out in a car can be uncomfortable but now I'm not thinking about comfort. Now I'm not thinking at all, just feeling. All sanity has left me and suddenly I'm in heaven. He mouth leaves mine and starts trailing wet kisses down my neck. I moan and urge him to continue. My hands find his shirt buttons and I undo the buttons and roam my hands over his magnificent chest. I just love the feel of him. One hand on his chest and the other on the side of his face I continue my onslaught of his mouth. He tastes Scotch and I can feel myself getting drunk on that, on him. He’s hands travel to my breasts and I moan in appreciation. He has absolutely no idea what he’s doing to me. Somewhere in the background I can hear the ringing of a cell phone. The ringing gets louder and I realize that it’s mine. Max is still kissing my neck as I reach into my bag and grab my phone. I answer the phone at the ninth ring.
“Isabelle” I say surprised. I look at Max and realize what just happened. I get off him and get back into the drivers seat. A wave of guilt comes over me. I feel almost sick.
“Liz, just so I know did I leave my purse in your bag”?
“Hang on, let me check” I look at Max but he’s avoiding my gaze. I fell like shit. Yea, I have it. I’ll give it to you tomorrow when I drop off your car”
“Isn’t Max with you”? She asks, “he told me wanted to get cigarette’s”. Thankfully, Isabelle is drunk, so she does not know how much time has passed. “He can drive you home, then bring back the car and drop off my wallet”
“You’re right, sorry, ciao Bella” and I hang up the phone. Not avoiding my gaze anymore, I can feel Max looking at me.
“I'm sorry Liz, I don’t know what came into me”. I notice that he is now calling me Liz. But it does not really matter. All I want to do is go home and pretend that this never happened.
“I guess we can blame it on temporary insanity”.
“Liz, don’t turn this into something trivial because it isn’t”. He sounds angry, I hate it, I don’t want him to be angry.
“Max, please, I can’t talk about this, not now”.
“When then”? He’s doing it again, looking at me with those gorgeous amber eyes.
“Why do we have to talk about it, it was nothing… you had too much to drink, I was caught up in the moment…”
“It was more than that!”
“Stop what?” We’re both yelling now, both angry. Both wanting something more.
“Just stop doing – this! I can’t take this now, I want to go home” and quietly I whisper, “please”. Oh god, I've hurt him. I can see it in his eyes. But he’s proud. and he hides his expression quickly, but not quickly enough.
“Fine”. That was it. Curt and cold. And it hurts. The five-minute drive seemed endless but finally we reached my place. Getting out of the car I say: “I'm sorry”.
His expression softens and he gives me a sad smile.
“You have nothing to be sorry about, Liz?” He says before I leave.
“We need to talk”
“I know that”
“I’ll call you”
I nod my head and walk away. No matter what I cant start anything with Max. I refuse to. Because although I would love to be with Max, I love Isabelle too much. I cherish our friendship and will do nothing to jeopardize that in any way. What can I say, Love’s funny that way!
[ edited 2 time(s), last at 21-Mar-2002 7:32:36 AM ]
|posted on 7-Mar-2002 9:00:10 AM by skyserpant|
Its Sunday, no work, no nothing, yet for some stupid reason I wake up eight in the morning. I'm tired, I've had no sleep but I can’t stay in bed. Drowsily I walk into the kitchen, make myself a coffee, strong with skinny milk! I then take myself and my coffee to the balcony, sit down, light a cigarette and relax. I close my eyes and try to forget. Try to forget how unbelievably stupid I was for giving into temptation. How can I ever face Max again? I should have ignored my feelings, I should have done my best to forget him, I mean, he’s leaving in two months. That’s not that bad. After he leaves I can put all my effort into working and saving money for my trip. It just kills me you know? A few weeks ago all I could think about was my trip, and how exited I was. And now? Now, Max Evans has become this ‘fascination’. He’s all I think about. I hate him. I don’t actually, but if I keep telling myself that I just might end up doing that. And at the moment, hating him is better than loving him, which is what I am slowly doing.
Sunday lunch with the family. It has to happen, there is no way out of it. No matter how much I have tried to get out of this tradition, my mother with not allow it to break. She invites my grandmother, (who I love dearly, but she always feels the need to ask me question after question after question).
I feel that I need to tell you about my family so you understand what Sunday lunch is like for me, and why I do my best to get out of it. Well… let’s begin with grandma Sophia. A real character. Born into a Greek family she lived a sheltered life. Her family never had any money but they were happy. At the age of twenty one she and her husband from an arranged marriage decided to leave their home and see the world. So what did they do? They came to America. The great land, full of golden opportunities. Upon entering the States, she realized that it was much harder than she expected but she loved it. They lived a great life, until he died four years ago. Ever since then she’s been wearing black. I feel like telling her its time to take it off, but knowing her, she’ll never speak to me again. Also, she’s loud, (as the Greeks tend to be) and very opinionated. I'm telling you, she has an opinion, on EVERYTHING!
My mother. A woman who very much took after her mother. That woman has balls. I mean really, how many women propose to their husbands? She’s also a terrible cook, so on Sundays, grandma takes over the kitchen and believe me, that is a very good thing.
Dad, some may say quiet and reserved, but I say he is the best. In fact my whole family is amazing, but as it happens, when spending too much time with the family… slowly you lose your mind.
“Lizabed” I hear my grandmother call me from the kitchen. Although she’s been in this country for a almost a lifetime, she still has this incredibly thick accent. I walk into the kitchen and see her doing what she usually does. Standing over a pot of something and stirring.
“Yes” I say as I walk over to her and give her an obligatory kiss on the cheek.
“Taste”, she demands, subtlety is not one of her many virtues.
I'm in heaven, she’s made my favorite dish. It’s a chicken soup with beaten egg and lemon. A definite must. She smiles at me because she knows how much I love her cooking and I cant help it, she’s an amazing lady. Impulsively I hug her and tell I love her.
“Careful, you ruin hair”. By the way, did I tell you she’s funny too? I can’t believe how much I love this loud Greek woman, she’s the best!
So here we are. The whole family, having Sunday lunch. For many, this time would a time for relaxation. But for me, its all a matter of being on guard. Its dangerous, its scary… it’s also delicious!
“Um hmm”, I say with my mouth stuffed with bread. It’s a tradition I inherited from my Mediterranean side. BREAD WITH EVERY MEAL.
“You have ahh… how you say, boyfriend?”
“You ask me this every time you see me, and no”
“And why no, you young, beautiful, time to find husband, some kids, you’re twenty-one, no more baby”.
“Grandma” I moan. It’s not the first time she’s said this.
“What” She says loudly, very loudly. “I just say, that you no baby no more”
“Mum” Finally my mother buts in. “ Leave her alone”
“Why leave her alone, she needs push. We push her, or she never get married. She be like you and get married when she nearly thirty. But she will marry Greek boy”
That’s it. The war is on. It’s always like this. Mother and daughter arguing on Sunday lunch, while my father and I sit back and watch. Ahh, life at the Parker residence is never dull.
Needing to escape Sunday lunch I lie on my bed and close my eyes. I fall into a light sleep until I am interrupted my cell phone. I'm so tired that I forget to check my caller ID. “Hello”, I say tiredly.
“Sleeping? At this hour? Parker, you not getting lazy on me are you?”
“Max”! I shoot right out of bed, all thoughts of sleep forgotten.
“What’s going on”? I'm so proud of the way my voice sounds, so casual, so…like I don’t give a shit. But, as it happens, I care more than I should. I do give a shit. I wish I had checked my caller ID before picking up the phone. If I did, I would have seen that it was Max and I would not have picked up the phone. But of course, being the sort of person that I am, I don’t think ahead. That’s why I get into so much trouble.
“Nothing much, just checking in, I wanted to see how you were feeling”
“Well thanks for checking Max, but you need not have bothered. I'm great. Why wouldn’t I be”? I'm so nervous. I mean really, what sort of question is that? ‘How are you feeling’? Does he do this on purpose. Do unbelievably nice and caring things, so I could feel that much more for him. Well no! I refuse to. From now on I will be cold. I will protect myself emotionally. No more Mrs Nice Gal. Queen Bitch, here we come.
“Well last night when we…”
I could not let him finish, “Lets just pretend that last night ended when we dropped off Isabelle OK”?
“Is that really what you want”? He says this softly and I know that what I say next will be vital.
“Yes” I whisper. God, how much it pains me to say this, but in all honesty there is no other choice.
“Ok then,” I’ve hurt him again, oh no I've hurt him again. He sounded so sad. But he’ll get over it. I mean really, its not like he’s in love with me. He was with Kathy just a week ago! I'm just his rebound chick. Give it one more week, and he will see me as nothing but his sister’s friend again. But I know that for me it will be a totally different story. In a week I will be pigging out on chocolate and crying over a tub of ice cream. That’s what I do, when I get upset I eat, and eat and eat. There is no stopping me.
He’s about to hang up the phone but I stop him. “Max”?
“Yea”, he sounds hopeful, I can’t let that last. I can’t give out false signals.
“About Isabelle, I would really prefer it if she didn’t know anything”.
“Fine”, here we go, cold and distant Max, just how he should be.
“Thanks” and I hang up the phone. Over and over I tell myself that I did the right thing. Its just going to take a while to sink in that’s all. It better anyway.
Monday morning and I'm running to the bus stop. I'm late again. I run faster because I really cant be bothered hearing it from my boss this morning. I swear the way that my emotions are now, if he pushes me any further, I walk out. And I can’t walk out, I need this job. If I didn’t have this I would have to go back and work in my fathers alien themed restaurant and that ain’t happening. I've done that before and refuse to go back. Believe me, no matter what anyone says, when working with family its never smooth sailing. If you ask me its VERY rocky.
The bus is about to pull out, but the driver sees me and stops. Grateful I hop on the bus, purchase my ticket and sit down. Not at all looking forward to my daily lunch meeting with Isabelle and Maria. But if you thought that this day could not get any worse, you were wrong, very wrong.
I'm refilling the artichokes at the Sandwich Bar when I hear someone call my name.
I turn to find that its Kathy. Yes, yes, Max’s ex Kathy. Oh, how happy I am to see her, (note the extreme sarcasm).
“That’s me” I look at her and smile. She is stunning. With light blonde strianght hair and sparkling hazel eyes. She has the bee stung lips and fantastic smile. She also has a body that many men would kill to get their hands on. How can Max want me after being with her? “How have you been”? I ask her.
“Great actually” as she says this she smiles but it does not reach her eyes. Its obvious that she is trying to sound happy but she isn’t really pulling it off. Is it about Max? Or is it something else? The need to know why and how they broke up is killing me.
“So Max told me you guys were traveling” I’m surprised to hear this. When did she tell Max? Have they been speaking? Are they…back together?
“Really, Max told you”? The surprise in my voice is evident and she looks away. “Well yea, before…”
“Of course” I reply.
The rest of our conversation is all small talk, I make her a take-away toasted sandwich and weak, soy, de-caff late and she’s on her way. One part of me feels guilty about seeing her but another part of me wants to go to Max before I lose him. I'm so confused its scary.
“Liz” I turn me head to face my boss,
“Go on break. Its time”.
Without saying anything I take off my apron, grab my bag and walk out of that place. I walk until I reach the only smoking café in the complex. Taking a seat I wait for Isabelle and Maria. Lighting a cigarette, I take a deep drag. My head is so full of….crap. I blow out the smoke and let my hair out of its confining pony tail. Looking up I'm surprised to see Max walk into the café. Our gazes lock, slowly he’s walking towards me. I forget about my earlier misgivings and my heart flutters. He reaches my table, and nods his head.
“Hey Max”, I'm about to smile, I want to tell him that I was wrong about shutting him out like that. What the hell, I just want him. “What are you doing here”.
“I work nearby, I'm just getting some lunch” I want to tell him to take a seat. I want to tell him that I'm willing to go through this with him for the two months that he will be here. I don’t know why, but seeing Kathy today made me realize how much I want to be with this guy. Even if it means keeping it quiet from Isabelle. Instead of sticking around he walks off and it hits me. He hates me, he really hates me. Sure he said hello, but he just did that because of the well mannered person he is.
Just like that I was cut off. It killed me. I mean what was I thinking that he would welcome me with open arms after what a total bitch I was being to him? I take deep breaths and it helps calm me down. I'm shattered, totally shattered. I breathe deeply again and again. Still my inner turmoil does stop me from appreciating how damn fine he looks in his sexy business suit. I just love men in suits. Too bad that Max isn’t a cop. There’s something about men in uniform that….
“Earth to Liz”. I look up and Isabelle is standing over me. I smile, just happy to see her.
“What were you thinking”?
“About cops” I tell her. She groans, she knows my love of uniform.
“Your brothers there” I tell her, nonchalantly as if I don’t give a shit. She shrugs.
“Even at work my family is everywhere” She shudders. I can’t wait for this trip Liz, I really need it. By the way, Maria is getting her break late toady so she wont be joining us”. We both laugh at this. Knowing just how much Maria hates taking breaks on her own.
“Isabelle”? I ask tentatively.
“Yea”? She’s creasing her eyebrows, she know that what I will ask her is serious.
“About Alex, what’s going to happen with you two when you leave, I mean, is he just going to wait”? I need to know how she feels about this. Maybe she can help me with my outlook on long distance relationships.
Her face falls. She closed her eyes. “I wish I knew Liz” She’s rubbing her eyes now. I pull her hand away from her face and say “make – up”. She understands and stops.
“God Liz, its so hard, every time I bring it up he just changes the subject. As if not talking about it will post pone it or, I don’t know. It’s so hard. I just hope he realizes how important this is to me. I need this Liz.” She looks at me knowing that I understand. For all others outside of the Isabelle, Maria and Liz circle it may be hard to grasp so let me put this in simple terms. As kids we were all and still are the best of friends and as kids we all shared the same dream. To go to college, far, far away from home. We all knew that Roswell was just too small. But time plays funny tricks on people and as it happened we all went local. So instead of getting cut up about it. We decided that we would go even further after graduation. So that’s what were doing. Fulfilling our dreams. More so, fulfilling the need to see, and understand what is out there. What life, has to offer.
I grasp her hand, the two of us in the same place and she smiles. Have I mentioned lately how much I love this girl? I look over to Max and I'm surprised to see he’s staring at me. I smile tentatively and thankfully he smiles back. I look again to Isabelle and wonder how she would feel about this thing with Max.
“What are you thinking”? She asks me.
“Nothing, just how much I can’t wait for us to leave”.
“Don’t I know it” The waitress comes around and before she says anything Isabelle is out with our order. “Two skinny latté’s, one of them strong. Also, get us some of those choc-chip cookies in the display. Thanks”.
As she walks off I notice that something is missing from the table. The waitress has now retreated back to the counter. “Excuse me”. I call out loudly. She walks back, with a smile seemingly forced on her face.
“Sorry, but we need an ashtray”.
“I’ll be right back with it”. To make sure that she does hurry back, I light a cigarette. If she doesn’t want me ashing on the floor she better be quick.
“Can I bum one”? I look up to see Max standing above me. I have to stay ‘normal’. Casually I hand the packet to him and he takes one.
“Didn’t you have a lunch date”? Isabelle asks him sarcastically.
“Yes, he just left”.
“It was a he, hmmm…. No wonder you and Kathy didn’t work out”.
“Isabelle, if you were any funnier, you’d be boring”.
“Rather than justifying your childish behavior with an answer, I will instead take myself to the bathroom”.
“Just don’t fall in Isabelle”.
Isabelle says nothing to that. Instead, she turns around, and dismissing him by flipping her hair. He watches her retreating to the bathrooms and he’s smiling. I'm actually surprised that he joined us, I mean, ten minutes ago he was brushing me off! He turns to look at me and I raise my eyebrows, silently asking him what changed.
“You know” he starts, “I was watching you and Isabelle before and I realized why you said all those things you said. I sorry for pressuring you Liz, its just that….”
“Its just that what”? I ask anxiously. I'm hanging on every word this guy is saying.
“I like you Liz, a lot.” I widen my eyes, and am even more surprised by what he says next. Blowing smoke in my face, a sign which says ‘I want to take you to bed’, he states very confidently:
“You’re a real turn on”.
I stare at him, mouth slightly open, I don’t know whether to be offended by his statement or just hop on his lap and have my evil way with him. Suddenly he grins that infectious grin of his and I smile.
“Well I guess all I could do is take that as a compliment”.
“Oh it is Parker, it is”. He sighs and continues in a more serious tone. As I said I was watching you with Isabelle and I saw how close you were. I mean I always knew that you three girls were tight, but I never realized how important you are to each other”.
“I’d be lost without them”. And its true, I would be. Sure I have my parents, my grandmother and the endless list of cousins that only arise from a European background, but Maria and Isabelle are my backbone, they are the ones who keep my head screwed on when times are that much too tough. “I'm sorry Max for everything but you and me it’s… its impossible. Maybe one day…”
“Liz”? He asks tentatively.
I look up, silently giving him the go ahead.
“I just want to know, how do you, feel about me”. I've realized, even in these few days I have changed. I know because a week ago I would have laughed off that statement and said something to defuse the seriousness of the conversation. But now I want to be honest. I'm about to tell him everything, how I feel and what I would want if things were different, when Isabelle comes back.
“I swear, if those bathrooms get any more disgusting I'm going to sue”.
|posted on 7-Mar-2002 10:27:26 PM by skyserpant|
|I know, I know its terrible that im bumping my own story, but im just pretty sad like that!|
|posted on 21-Mar-2002 7:31:14 AM by skyserpant|
So here I am, Monday night and all alone. I'm on a fold out chair on my balcony. Just reading. To be honest it doesn’t bother me that I'm alone, it’s just that well… I'm bored. I'm reading a book but I cannot concentrate on the story because I can’t stop thinking about Max. I wish I had the chance to tell him how I felt, but as usual the timing was all wrong. I look over to my cigarette packet and contemplate having one. I turn away and for the hundredth time tell myself that I will quit. After this cigarette that is… I'm so bored, I'm so bored, I'm so bored, and I’m so bored. I can’t call Isabelle, she’s with Alex tonight and I can’t call Maria because she’s with Michael. Geez, how sad am I? Next mission in life? Make more friends. Since my book is not helping I decide to go into the kitchen and eat something. As we all know, when bored, what do we do? We eat. I'm about to leave my room, when I hear something coming from the rooftop. Looking out my window, I'm just in time to see a pair of hands from the top of the ladder. Stepping out , I walk to the ladder surprised, yet elated to see who is there.
“Max” I smile, I try not to make the smile too huge, but my stupid facial muscles just will not listed to my brain.
“What are you doing here”? Once again I cannot stop grinning. It seems to be infectious, because he’s grinning too.
“Just thought I would say hello to my favorite girl”.
“And who might that be”?
“Oh, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston are OK, but there’s this one girl who really drives me crazy, she’s slender, soft brown hair, deep dark eyes and a beautiful smile”.
“Funny, I don’t think I invited Jessica Alba here tonight”.
“I guess you’ll have to do then”.
“I guess so…”. He’s doing things to me, by just standing there, looking at me and joking around. Also the fact that he called me his favorite girl helps too.
“Seriously Max, it’s not like you pop by on a regular basis, there must be a reason”.
“There is actually, I… I wanted to finish what we were talking about earlier, before Isabelle did her usual and interrupted us”. I laugh at this because every time we’ve had a chance to get anywhere near close, it has always been Isabelle that been in our way. “Yea, it was bad timing, wasn’t it”? I do my best not to resent that, because of course she’s not at fault. It’s not like she has any clue what’s going on anyway.
“It’s always bad timing”.
Suddenly, I stop joking around. “Maybe there’s a reason for that”? I state in a serious tone. He sees my expression and he too stops joking around.
“What do you mean”?
“What I mean is that you pretend that it’s all so easy. You pretend that Isabelle is not an issue, and you pretend that you didn’t just get out of a serious relationship just five minutes ago”
“It was about a week actually” He can be so aggravating sometimes.
“And that makes it any better”? I'm almost yelling now. I don’t know why he gets to me like this. Usually it takes much more to get me to lose my temper.
“You wouldn’t understand Liz”.
“What wouldn’t I understand? That a week ago you were in a relationship that everyone envied, because you seemed so perfect together. Or that, I'm just your rebound girl. Someone that you’re using to help you get over her?” Suddenly his face changes. He looks confused and angry.
“A…a rebound girl! Tell me you’re joking Liz?”
“I'm not joking, that’s what I feel like. I mean really! What else am I supposed to think? You should be at home depressed, or out with your buddies getting drunk, pretending to be over her, but instead you’re here. I just want to know why?”
“Why you’re here with me”?
“What do you want me to say”?
“How you feel, the truth Max”
“I told you already”
“Yea, that I'm a turn on. I remember that. Thanks”. I turn away. Hiding my pained expression from him. I don’t want him to see how he has hurt me. I don’t want him to know how much he affects me. Trying to control my emotions I keep my face hidden, away from him. He does not even let me do that because suddenly I feel a hand on my back and I hear his voice, it sounds different now, it’s soft and soothing.
“Turn around Liz”. It’s almost a command.
“I don’t want to” And I don’t. I don’t want him to see me like this.
“Please”. He’s doing it again. Saying that word in that tone that just turns my insides into jelly. So I do as he says. I turn around and I almost feel naked in front of him. Naked in the sense that, he can see everything in my face, in my eyes. But I don’t seem to mind because for some reason I want him too. He asked me earlier today how I feel about him and I think that right now I want him to know. But at the moment the ball is in his court.
“ Liz… I didn’t realize how badly we needed to talk” I can’t rationalize what comes over me in the next moment. I don’t why I'm doing what I'm doing but I cant stop myself. I move towards him and I lean my forehead towards his and whisper.
“I'm sorry Max”
“For what”? How sweet is he? For days he’s been putting up with my crap. First I say yes, then I say no, and now I'm saying yes again, he just does not know it yet. Lucky boy!
“For being really weird lately”.
“You have not been weird Liz, you’ve just…”
“Max, let me explain please” I look up at him and he smiles. “Earlier today you asked me how I felt and I never got the chance to tell you. So… I'm going to tell you now” I take a deep breath, summoning up all my courage because spilling out your guts to someone is pretty fucking scary!
“Well where to begin” I sigh, “For all these years you’ve been this guy that I have never taken notice of”, he makes this face but I ignore it. “You’ve always just been Isabelle’s older brother to me. A guy who knew stuff, a guy who traveled. And lately a guy who was in this idealistic relationship”.
“It was nothing like that Liz, people just see what they want to see”. He steps back. His hands on his face. He’s confused. He wants to say something but I stop him. If I don’t get this out now I may never get it out.
“Do you want to hear me out, of are you going to keep interrupting”?
“You should be, but I’ll forgive you, this time. So… anyway, in my eyes you always had this great relationship, and maybe because of that, I never saw you as anything more than a friend. But when Isabelle told me about you and Kathy, I swear,
it was like… it was like someone turned on something inside of met hat was dying to get out. I started to care for you Max. I started to want things from you”.
“What kind of things”? He’s walking towards me again, slowly. He reaches me and brushes a some stray strands of hair away from my face. He’s whispering to me. His lips barely a breathe away from mine. I summon up the courage to say what I never in my wildest thought I would say.
“I wanted to be with you, I wanted you like I've never wanted anyone before”.
Suddenly his lips crash onto mine and I open my mouth for him. Welcoming him. Letting him past all my defenses. Giving him my soul. Ready to give him my all. He kisses me in a way that I have never been kissed before. I can’t get close enough. I wrap my arms around his neck. My hand snakes up to the back of his head. Pressing it closer to me. He opens his mouth wider deepening the kiss. My tongue sneaks out, then in, then out again. Teasing him. I hear his groan and it excites me. Suddenly we are out of control. Hands, mouths, tongues everywhere. Needing to breathe I brake the kiss. Looking at him I grasp his hand and I lead him into my room. I try not to ruin the mood by awkwardly climbing through my window. When we are both inside my room he finally says something.
“Your parents, where are they”?
“My parents are away, their always away” I smile, at the moment I really don’t feel like talking about my parents. “C’mon” I say, taking his hand and leading him to the bed.
“What about the Crashdown, who takes care of that”? Why is he talking about the Crashdown, now of all times.
“Agnes, the head waitress, but really, I don’t feel like talking about my parents or the Crashdown right now”.
“What do you want to talk about”?
“Very funny Evans, but when you’re smiling that sexy smile of yours the last thing I want to do is talk”
“So you don’t want to talk is that what you’re saying”? He brings his head closer to mine, our lips almost touching.
“That’s exactly what I'm saying. You’re quick today”.
“So what else is there to do”. He kisses me fleetingly and I melt all over again.
“Ohhhhh…. I don’t know, read a book maybe”?
“One of those big lusty romances I bet”.
“Yea one of those, but I'm all out at the moment so I think that I may have to act one out. You wanna join me”?
“I’d be glad to”. Then it starts again. The heavy petting. The uncontrollable urge to be one with him. I want him. All of him and I want him now. Everything is happening in this magical sexual haze. I feel his hands on my lower tummy. His hands are half caressing half tickling me. I’m melting. I place my hands on the bottom of his shirt and slowly I take it off. Once it’s off, I move slightly, taking my time to admire his magnificent physique. His absolutely beautiful. I tell him so.
“You’re beautiful”, I whisper as I lower my lips once again to his. Tasting him. He takes my bottom lip, and starts pulling at it. I can not at all explain at all how much I am enjoying this. I pull away and remove my singlet top off, I can see him watching me. His stare is almost burning a hole through me.
“You have no I idea what you are dong to me Liz. You are so beautiful. I don’t know how to say this but…”
“But what”? This is me, independent Liz, hanging on Max’s every word. It does not get sadder than that.
“…but I think we should stop. I don’t think you’re ready. I mean your first time should be…”
My first time? What is this guy tripping on? You don’t go through college without getting laid. Well I didn’t anyway. Sure I've never been in a serious relationship but when I felt I was ready I did it. I've always said, ‘there is nothing wrong with two people being attracted to each other and having sex. As long as both are willing, and neither are in outside committed relationships then there is no problem. “Relax Max, this will not be my first time, but you sure know how to ruin the mood don’t you”?
“You mean you’re not a …”
“A virgin Max” I finish his sentence for him. “No I'm not”.
“Ok then, where were we, before the broken mood of course”.
“Its too late Max” I was about to say you’ve had you’re chance. The moods broken, but he starts kissing my neck and I feel hot all over again. Crushing my lips to his the roller coaster ride begins and I know that tonight will be one of the best nights of my life.