posted on 9-Mar-2002 6:12:20 PM by stargazing dreamer
Hey there. *big* So I had to write 2 paragraphs in 2 different POVs for English class, so of course I picked Roswell. *tongue* It's due after March Break so crtisim is very welcome. But please don't be too picky...It's just a grade 9 English class*tongue*.

In Your Keeping- Liz’s POV

Tell me I will never die
Take away my pain
Rock me gently in your arms
Say that I’ll remain in your keeping

Brush the hair out from my eyes
Read me a good story
Kiss my finger tips good night
Say that I can stay in your company

And I know this much is true
I have lived inside of you
You have always seen me through
While I am peacefully sleeping

You have always been my friend
I can see your beauty shining
I will love you till the end
Long will I remain in your keeping

And I know this much is true
I have lived inside of you
You have always seen me through
While I am peacefully sleeping
While I am peacefully sleeping

-Jann Arden


I can’t do it. I can’t give him up. I can’t, but I have to. I keep telling myself; “Liz Parker is not a selfish person. Liz Parker will not put her happiness ahead of a planet’s well being.” A PLANET.

This has nothing to do with Tess Harding. It’s about a nation. A nation of people ruled by Max. My Max. But he’s not my Max. He wasn’t literally made for me. He was made for Tess.

And Me? Well, I’m beginning to think my “destiny” is to wander the earth alone. I’d rather be alone then with someone who isn’t Max though.

I have this feeling that I’ll never truly be happy again. Like there’ll be moments where we’ll all get together and laugh through our tears, but there will never be that feeling of elation. That one perfect moment where everyone around you goes into slow motion and you watch in awe. You think about how happy and lucky you are, and you never want that day to end.

The last time I felt like that, was when Max told me he loves me. I had never felt so invincible in my life! I thought “Screw Destiny! Max loves ME!!!” But then, in a matter of hours, my world came crashing down and I felt like dying.

I am dying. Inside, I’m shriving up. My heart’s stopped beating, my blood has turned cold, I’m dead. And this time, Max Evans isn’t here to heal me.

One touch. That’s all it took. That’s all it would take to heal me again. One brush of his lips against mine, one soft touch on my cheek, one breath and I would be healed. But I am alone. I’m alone in the darkest corner of my room and the darkest corner of my mind.

Thing is, I did this. I’m alone because I chose to. I could have just stayed with Max and I know he would have stayed with me. But what if he resented me? What if we did spend the rest of our lives together, but he always held me responsible for the destruction of his planet? I couldn’t live with that.

And it’s bad enough Michael and Isabel hate me because Max healed me therefore risking their existence, but if their family died because I was too selfish to let Max go, I could never forgive myself. I could never live with that type of guilt.

And I know I’m whining. But I can’t help it. I like to think I’m strong, but I’m not. Right now, the only thing I’m capable of is focusing on is the pain.

I can’t even focus on my two best friends. There hurting too. I know that. Maria especially. Michael tells her he loves her, then leaves her. She can’t even begin to understand. She doesn’t understand why Michael would have a destiny with Isabel or why he would choose to follow it. I don’t think he has. Followed his destiny, that is. He loves Maria more then he lets on, and she’s broken down that stone wall. And I know he loves Isabel too, but not in that ‘Soul mate-I can’t live without your touch-way’. But in the way I love Alex. Like he’s a essential part of my life and I can’t imagine ever being without him, but I could never love Alex the way I love Max.

Alex. He looked like he’d been punched in the gut 10 times in a row. His face was pale, and he looked disbelieving. But even after all of this, he still supports her. He still supports Isabel. I wish I could be as strong as Alex. Even when everyone thought Isabel was pregnant with Michael’s baby, Alex was still there for her.

I can’t imagine being that devoted if Max ever had a child with some other girl. Is that selfish? Maybe it’s just normal. I think about it now and I couldn’t imagine supporting Max if that happened. But maybe if it did, my love for him would overpower my jealousy and betrayal. I’m pretty sure it would.

I can’t believe I have such a strong dependency on Max and our love. It’s pathetic. Even if he slept with some other girl I would still be begging him to take me back! It can’t be like this. I won’t let it. I have to go. I have to get out of here –out of Roswell- and out of Max’s life.



Promise To Try- Max’s POV

,b>All the shadows have made ladders
And all that mattered, yes all that matters
Is lifted from view
As I'm gazing at stars
Counting parked cars
I can't stop missing you
So leave the light on
I know you think I've gone
Let time go, let the rivers flow
You back to me
As we're living our own days
In our old-fashioned way
I'm silently with you
Oh, 'round and 'round is where we go
And where we stop, nobody knows
A drunken dream or broken seam
It doesn't matter how you find me
My arms are reaching for you
And my lips are waiting to adore you
I promise to try
All the songs we listened to me
Won't escape me, please don't escape me
Baby, I'm bound for you
As letters hit my door, and my arm hits the floor
Can you prove that I'm wrong?
Oh, 'round and 'round is where we go
And where we stop, nobody knows
A drunken dream or broken seam
It doesn't matter how you find me
My arms are reaching for you
And my lips are waiting to adore you
I promise to try
Please don't die, I promise to try
Please don't die, I promise to try
A world is much better with you in it
World's much better when he's in it
'Round and 'round is where we go
And where we stop, nobody knows
A drunken dream or broken seam
It doesn't matter how you find me
My arms are reaching for you
And my lips are waiting to adore you
I promise to try
-Leonna Naess


She’s gone. And in her absence is a hole in my heart. A Liz shaped hole. As corny as it sounds, it’s true. I’ve never felt so lost in my life. It’s like I’m wandering around in a maze called Destiny and Liz is at the exit. But there are obstacles called Tess Harding waiting to trip me.

I want to go to her so badly. I just want to kiss Liz and tell her how much I love her, and I’m not whoever I was in my past life. I’m Max Evans. Period. End of story.

But I know Liz. And I know that she would sacrifice her happiness for me. I still can’t believe that fact. After years of loving and adoring her from a far, it’s amazing to know she loves me back.

It’s not fair. It’s not even been a day since we confessed our love to each other, and we can’t be together. I wish I could just give Liz a normal relationship. Maybe then we wouldn’t have to deal with destinies, the FBI and Mom-O-Grams. She deserves better then this. She doesn’t deserve pain and suffering. Not like the kind she went through today.

The image of her walking away today in the cave still haunts me. I can still see the tears on her cheeks. I can still feel her lips on mine as she kissed me goodbye. I can still see the helpless look on her face as she turned back to look at me one last time. The look in her eyes hit me like a ton of bricks. Such intense pain. I never want to see pain like that is Liz’s eyes again. Ever. And I swear I will NEVER be the one to put it there.

Everything is so screwed up now. Just a few weeks ago, everything was perfect. Me and Liz were together, Michael and Maria were together, Alex was still head over heels for Isabel and she was finally warming up to him, and best of all…Tess Harding didn’t exist. Bliss.

It doesn’t help much that even though Michael is hurting just as much as I am over Maria, he insists we all just get over it and move on. Now I know it’s just Michael’s way of dealing with the pain, but I can’t help myself from wanting to punch him. If for just once Michael would actually let his feelings out instead bottling everything up, he might understand how human we really are. We aren’t androids, no matter how much Michael wishes we were.

Isabel can’t stop crying. I feel horrible for my sister, but I know I wouldn’t be very good in the comforting department right now. I’d probably make her feel worse. She’s miserable because she saw our mother. Well, not actually. She’s happy she saw our mother, but she’s sad because of her message for us. She’s confused because of it. She loves our mother –our real mother- so she doesn’t want to disappoint her. But she doesn’t love Michael that way. He’s never been more then a brother to her.

I feel so responsible for everyone’s misery. I hope they can all forgive me. I hope Liz can forgive me because if there’s one thing I know for sure and I’ve never wavered on, it’s that I love her and I want her back.

posted on 9-Mar-2002 8:48:30 PM by stargazing dreamer
Shamefully bumping my own fic*sad*