posted on 23-Sep-2001 10:35:09 PM by Cookie2697
Title: Tangled Webs
Summary: Post-Departure. Max and Liz are painfully feeling the aftereffects of Tess's actions…and just when it seems that things couldn't get more complicated…they do. In this fic, the whole Future Max situation has been revealed to be a mindwarp by Tess.
Background: Post-Departure
Category: M/L
Rating: PG-13 to eventually NC-17
Author: AnneB
E-mail: dreambehr⊕
Disclaimer: They’re not mine. As much as in my wildest dreams I would love to dictate every move that Max and Liz make on the painfully slow path back to one another…it is nothing but a dream. Max and Liz belong to Fox, WB, UPN whoever owns them, not to mention Melinda Metz who we all adore, and of course the almighty wonderful Jason Katims. Songs that I don't own: My Oh My by David Gray, Storm by Blyss, Respect by Train, I Wish You Would by Train, Babylon by David Gray, Simon by Lifehouse, How You Remind me by Nickelback, Only Time by Enya, Trying by Lifehouse, Standing Still by Jewel, Sweet Surrender by Sarah McLachlan, Stranded by Plumb, Crush by Dave Matthews Band, Cling and Clatter by Lifehouse, Everywhere by Michelle Branch, Crash Into Me by Dave Matthews Band, Wherever You Will Go by The Calling, Everything by Lifehouse, Alive by P.O.D., Hold On by Sarah McLachlan, Question Everything by 8Stops7, Stigmatized by the Calling, Edge of the Ocean by Ivy, Outside by Staind, Take Me Away by Lifehouse, the Dolphin's Cry by Live, Break Me by Jewel, Trouble by Coldplay, Blurry by Puddle of Mudd, and finally Don't Let Go by Weezer.

Part 1

What on earth is going on in my heart
Has it turned as cold as stone
Seems these days I don't feel anything
Less it cuts me right down to the bone
What on earth is going on in my heart

My oh my you know it just don't stop
It's in my mind I want to tear it up
I've tried to fight it tried to turn it off
But it's not enough
It takes a lot of love
It takes a lot of love my friend
To keep your heart from freezing
To push on till the end
My oh my

July 20, 2001

It’s strange how much things can change. How one day life seems so complicated, but at the same time you have everything you want in the world, and how although things are complicated, you wouldn’t change a thing about your life…then suddenly, out of nowhere…it’s all gone. And how one minute, everything seems so horrible, you can’t imagine how everything could possibly get any worse…until it does.

A few months ago I was convinced that I had hit rock bottom, that my life had completely fallen apart...that things had spun totally out of my control, and I hate feeling that powerless over my own destiny. The thing is, that day I had no idea how much worse things would get.

Now, in retrospective, I realize how naïve I was, how stupid…because today, I know without a doubt that my life couldn’t get any worse.

I’ve lost everything now. There’s nothing left for me to live for. I’m just going through the motions of my life. I’m numb, just a shell of the person I used to be, and the irony of it all is that I know I have the capability to repair my life, just by opening myself up to him…by giving him another chance. All I have to do is say the words…but every time the opportunity presents itself, I shut down. I can’t do it, as much as I know that I need to.

I’m just stuck…

Liz Parker sat still in the night allowing the silence that filled a small town late at night overwhelm her. Normally the silence was calming, relaxing to Liz, but tonight as a cool breeze swept across her balcony, and down the alleyway beneath her to the street below, Liz shivered and felt a deep sense of fear within her.

Fear, because Liz knew every word she wrote was true. She knew that she needed to talk to Max…to try to fix all of the problems between them. Her heart knew it was true. Maybe it wouldn't fix things between them, but at least it would be a step in the right direction…at least they'd be communicating with each other.

Right now, things were so messed up though. Every time Max came anywhere near her, her emotions played with her normally logical mind, and instead of trying to break down the huge wall that had built up between them, she seemed to be building it higher stronger. Every time she saw Max, instead of telling him how much he hurt her, she got angry, and ended up being either stiff and cold to him, or outright screaming at him.

Shame filled Liz's heart at the way she had been treating Max…just a week earlier. He had come to the Crashdown during her shift…and her reaction had been, well, completely unbelievable. Without a doubt she was acting out of character. She saw him come in and sit down in her section, nothing new in their strange, but simple world…but on sight, Liz found herself infuriated with him.

Unable to contain herself, Liz stalked over to him and just started screaming the most horrible things to him, about how everything they had experienced together had all been a lie, and how he had never really loved her…both things that Liz knew with every fiber of her being weren't true. Sometimes, though, it was hard to remember it…sometimes when she saw him, all she could think about was how she wasn't enough for him…how easy it had been for him to move on.

She hadn't seen him since that day…his infamous determination had eventually weakened. There was no fight left in Max, so for the most part, he stayed away, giving Liz the space from him that she had convinced him that she needed…cutting off all possibilities of a resolution between them.

To sum it all up…the more time that had passed since Tess left, the more estranged Max and Liz grew. And as much as Liz tried desperately to place all the blame on Max, she knew that in reality, the blame was mutual.

Liz was the one who had pushed Max away…she was the one stupid enough to believe Future Max's decree that Tess was imperative to the alien's survival. She practically handed Max to Tess on a silver platter…and she stupidly never even considered that it could all be a lie. And although at the time she did want him to go to Tess…she never suspected that he would go so far as to sleep with her.

It was a silly wish on her part…one that she had fooled herself into believing whole heartedly… She had clung to the hope that although Max would go to Tess…that a part of him would still remain faithful to her. And although Max had made it clear to her in the passing weeks that she still held the key to his heart…Liz still felt like a part of him was lost to her forever.

It had been two months, but the pain in her heart was still as raw as the day that Max had first told her. The memories went rushing through her mind…the cool night breeze whisking through her hair as he pulled the jeep off the road. Max's struggle to find the words to tell her…understanding mixed with disgust slipping into her eyes…the sick feeling deep in her stomach came rushing back. And as in her mind's eye she saw the shame and regret open in Max's gaze…all her anger came rushing back.

Sighing, Liz folded her journal shut, gently pressing the pages together so not to wrinkle them, before standing and moving around the edge of her balcony, carefully blowing each candle out. Stepping through the window, Liz closed it behind her to block out the breeze…and the intense silence.

Already in her pajamas, Liz crawled under her blankets, shutting off the light, and cuddling up into a tight ball.

As the blackness of the night swept over her, for the first time Liz noticed how damp her cheep was, how puffy her eyes had grown.

It wasn't even just with Max anymore…now Liz had begun going through the motions, numbly, even when she was completely alone. She hadn't even noticed when she had started crying.

Knowing that she had to change something, anything about her life, Liz decided to start right there…by trying to let herself feel again. Embracing her emotions, Liz abandoned herself to the tears. They consumed her, as she lay there in the dark, clutching her blanket tightly around her body, sobbing loudly, without any restraint.

"Destiny is a two-way street. On one hand, there is a destiny that chooses you. But on the other…well, you also have to be willing to choose that destiny back. Take love, for instance. You can't choose it. Who you love. Why you love them. Or even when. But doing something about it…well, that's a choice. You can either reach out and embrace it...or you can let it go..." -Where We Were Before by Ashton

[ edited 31time(s), last at 2-Jan-2002 10:07:58 PM ]
posted on 23-Sep-2001 11:07:10 PM by Cookie2697
Thanks so much for all the feedback y'all!!
Did I forget to mention that this one's going to start really depressing? 'Cause it is. But I promise you it will get better. There will be some very sweet stuff if you stick to it.
I should give you the background on this one, because I basically didn't tell anyone about it!
Every summer at camp I manage to write about...ONE chapter all summer. This was the one chapter I wrote this summer. But then when I got back from camp I started working on TOF and Until the End Of Time...and I never got around to working more on this one...until this week. Now I'm working on all 3. LOL! So look for updates on all 3 fics!

"Destiny is a two-way street. On one hand, there is a destiny that chooses you. But on the other…well, you also have to be willing to choose that destiny back. Take love, for instance. You can't choose it. Who you love. Why you love them. Or even when. But doing something about it…well, that's a choice. You can either reach out and embrace it...or you can let it go..." -Where We Were Before by Ashton
posted on 24-Sep-2001 9:06:24 AM by Cookie2697
My dreamer insurance is paid up? What do you mean? Am I loosing my dreaminess? Is that even possibile? LOL!!! I'm a pollyanna...I can't deal with M/L being apart...but I am willing to make them work to be together. Yes...this is a little painful....but it's going to end up right. I don't think it's POSSIBLE for me to write a fic without a happy ending. The road may be a little rocky...but they'll get there.
I was going to post other stuff later today, but I may post Pt 2 of this instead...just to give y'all a little hope.

"Destiny is a two-way street. On one hand, there is a destiny that chooses you. But on the other…well, you also have to be willing to choose that destiny back. Take love, for instance. You can't choose it. Who you love. Why you love them. Or even when. But doing something about it…well, that's a choice. You can either reach out and embrace it...or you can let it go..." -Where We Were Before by Ashton
posted on 24-Sep-2001 12:20:52 PM by Cookie2697's part ease your worries a bit I's still painful, but slightly less so. I forgot when I decided where to make the cut off that *I* knew what was going to be happening, whereas you all are probably freaked out about what's coming next. I really hope you enjoy this. Please, let me know what you think.

Part 2

How long have I been in this storm
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
'Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface

If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I could see you
This darkness would turn to light

An hour later, Liz lay still awake in her bed. The tears were gone, but the memory of them still marred her thoughts, the backlash still evident on her face through her bloodshot eyes and puffy cheeks.

Numb from the pain in her heart, Liz kept her eyes glued to a single spot on the ceiling, begging silently for exhaustion to hit her and sleep to come, desperate for the day to end. That was how her life had been lately…just a series of motions…moving from school to work, from work to homework, from homework to bed…just trying to get from one place to the next without facing the pain…without feeling any emotion.

Liz wasn't sure how much longer she could go on like that…how she could stay so void of life.

A rustling near the window quickly pulled Liz's attention away from her spot on the ceiling. Clutching the blankets tighter around her for comfort, if not safety, Liz watched as the previously locked window slowly inched upwards, and a figure appeared in the window.

For a moment, Liz's heart pounded with fear, and she almost panicked and screamed…until she recognized the figure crawling into her bedroom. Her fear instantly eased…but Max Evan's form did nothing but worsen the pain in her heart.

"You scared me half to death." Liz grumbled, peering up at Max from the bed.

"I'm sorry." Max replied quickly, taking a step towards her before recognizing the pained, distant look in Liz's eyes, and taking note of the evidence of her emotional breakdown.

"What are you doing here at two in the morning anyway?" Liz mumbled, rolling over so that she was facing away from Max.

"I couldn't sleep." Max admitted softly. "And I wanted to see you. I'm sorry, I didn't expect you to be awake."

"So you were just going to watch me sleep?" Liz asked incredulously.

"Yeah…I guess…I don't know." Max stammered. "I just wanted to see you, Liz. I miss you."

Max's words tore right into Liz's heart. Unable to fight him anymore, she rolled back over to face him, and met his pained eyes for the first time.

"What's happened to us, Liz?" Max whispered so softly, it was almost inaudible. He sounded so broken that it brought tears stinging right back into Liz's eyes.

"We let her beat us." He sighed. "I mean, look at us. We're not even living." Max paused, closing his eyes wistfully before continuing. "It didn't have to be this way. She took so much from us when she left…but she hadn't won yet. We were still here…we were still living. We had a chance then to take our lives back…but we've let that chance slip away, Liz, and now look at us. We're just…empty."

"I know." Liz whispered, blinking back the tears in a desperate attempt to keep her emotions at bay.

Max searched her face, surprised by her agreement. Ever since that day in May, every time Max had tried to connect to Liz in any way or another, her emotions either completely shut down, or she got extremely angry with him, fighting every word he said. In two months she hadn't once agreed with him like this.

Taking a deep breath, Max summoned his courage and pushed a little further.

"Can we ever go back, Liz?" Max asked carefully. "Could we ever get back everything we lost?"

There was a long moment of silence. Max's heart was pounding nervously. He'd already gotten closer to Liz's heart already tonight than he had in months…and he knew that this moment held the possibility of becoming a turning point for them. Whatever Liz answered could determine their entire future together. Sucking in his breath and holding it anxiously, Max waited until Liz began to speak.

"I don't know." Liz finally responded. "I wish we could go back more than anything in the world, Max…but I don't know if it's possible. I don't know if I can get past all that has happened."

Max nodded, accepting her honest answer. "I guess I just wanted to know if there was any chance at all." Pausing, Max's face slipped into a slight half smile, his lips barely curling up at the very ends. "And there is." He murmured, searching Liz's eyes for her reaction.

Liz's eyes widened in surprise. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because you said you wish that we could go back." Max explained. "And that's the first step…admitting that you want to. Thank you, Liz." Max murmured. "Goodnight."

Turning away from her, Max crawled back out the window, softly shutting it behind him.

Liz watched his every movement, until he disappeared over the edge of the balcony, before sighing wistfully and whispering her soft response.

"Goodnight Max."

"Destiny is a two-way street. On one hand, there is a destiny that chooses you. But on the other…well, you also have to be willing to choose that destiny back. Take love, for instance. You can't choose it. Who you love. Why you love them. Or even when. But doing something about it…well, that's a choice. You can either reach out and embrace it...or you can let it go..." -Where We Were Before by Ashton
posted on 26-Sep-2001 9:52:53 AM by Cookie2697
AJK001- Not to banish all hope here or anything, but where did you see that everything was a mindwarp :( Sorry to make it all worse for you, but at least at this point in the fic, they only thing that Liz knows for sure is that FUTURE MAX was a mindwarp...that's what it says in the notes at the top...not the rest at least at this point.

Lizzybell - Thank you so much for all your great comments. It's really refreshing to know that someone is already really enjoying this, because I'm really enjoying writing's kind of a test on me as a writer to try something other than just pure M/L goodness. I'm definitely working on part 3 right now...and I've recently decided that I need to just start writing longer chapters on my fics....they really can be painfully short! LOL! I'm not sure when I can say to look for more yet...but hopefully in the next few days!

"Destiny is a two-way street. On one hand, there is a destiny that chooses you. But on the other…well, you also have to be willing to choose that destiny back. Take love, for instance. You can't choose it. Who you love. Why you love them. Or even when. But doing something about it…well, that's a choice. You can either reach out and embrace it...or you can let it go..." -Where We Were Before by Ashton
posted on 26-Sep-2001 12:25:19 PM by Cookie2697
Aww man...a flaw. You had to point that one out to me, didn't you? I never considered that possibility. Hmmm...maybe he was tuning in to Liz's state of mind at the time? 'Cause Liz was REALLY focused on that while in Vegas...and we all know they're really connected...even if they haven't had any experiences like that before...
I'm really intruiged by the idea of FM being a mindwarp too...because as real as it was...who knows? It does seem a little too convienient that it all happened right when Tess was starting to put her plan into action.
Lots of things to think about *grin* I'm going to have a lot of fun with this fic!

"Destiny is a two-way street. On one hand, there is a destiny that chooses you. But on the other…well, you also have to be willing to choose that destiny back. Take love, for instance. You can't choose it. Who you love. Why you love them. Or even when. But doing something about it…well, that's a choice. You can either reach out and embrace it...or you can let it go..." -Where We Were Before by Ashton
posted on 27-Sep-2001 1:26:25 AM by Cookie2697
ooooh...I like that theory Makwa!!!
Max had the image in his head since he and Liz got together, but then he got sucked into the mindwarp, and it got erased by Tess in a fit of jealous anger...but then being in that place and seeing the things he was seeing, it came flashing back to him, like a memory of something that actually happened, since it was erased....
WOO HOO! What do you think of that one Sheeijan??
Of course it's very dependant on the idea that Max WAS being mindwarped by Tess...something we have no proof of...but still...huh.

"Destiny is a two-way street. On one hand, there is a destiny that chooses you. But on the other…well, you also have to be willing to choose that destiny back. Take love, for instance. You can't choose it. Who you love. Why you love them. Or even when. But doing something about it…well, that's a choice. You can either reach out and embrace it...or you can let it go..." -Where We Were Before by Ashton
posted on 3-Oct-2001 6:01:24 PM by Cookie2697
This week seems to be my scrap it and start from scratch week. I scrapped the next part of TOF, started it from scratch, and loved the new part. I scrapped THIS chapter this morning and wrote this from scratch and liked it better... LOL! I think Until The End of Time had better watch out...I may just have to scrap the next part of that and start over! LOL!
Enjoy...and feedback please!

Part 3

For reasons I don't know
I treated you so cold
I wish I had those times again
Cause something that you said
Keeps ringing in my head
Someday you're gonna
Wanna come back and
You're gonna wanna treat me fine

I watched me push you down
In dreams I had of you
And all I remember about those days
Is I would run around thinking
That you'd be all right
But you lost your light
Along the way
And oh you were right
About the things I'd say
'Cause if I had it back again
I know I'd treat you kind

Maria Deluca was confused. It was nothing new…it happened to everyone on occasion…herself included, and anyway, it wasn't like she was the most levelheaded person in the world, not like Liz…but she did know how the world worked. Maria knew her friends, and as she walked around the Crashdown Café, taking orders and delivering food, Maria could tell that something in the air had drastically changed.

To start with, after a two week absence, Max had reappeared in the Crashdown that day around lunch time, just sitting in his normal booth, sipping on his cherry coke with Tobasco sauce, his eyes following Liz everywhere she went.

And Liz wasn't doing a darn thing to stop him.

Maria was not going to just stand there and watch it happen all over again. Liz falling in love, Max breaking her heart…it had happened too many times and Maria had to protect her best friend…even if it was from herself.

"Liz." Maria stopped her friend, cornering her by the kitchen window. "Max Evans is staring at you again."

Liz rolled her eyes at her best friend's words. "Yeah Maria, I know."

Avoiding her friend's gaze, Liz quickly grabbed the order of space fries that Jose had just put up for her, and immediately turned and headed across the room to deliver them to a waiting customer.

Maria narrowed her eyes as she watched Liz go, completely shocked and irritated by her avoidance tactics. Hurrying back to her friend's side, Maria pressed her further, as Liz set the fries down silently, smiling before turning back to almost run right into Maria.

"Nuh uh, Liz." Maria groaned, shaking her head in frustration. "I am not letting you get away that easily. I want some answers, girl."

Maria paused for a moment and waited for Liz to respond. When she remained silent, Maria threw her hands in the air in frustration and continued.

"Two weeks ago Max walked in here, sat down right there exactly like that, and you gave him the worst verbal beating of his life. I didn't even know you had that in you! And the guy hasn't had the guts to show his face in here since…until today, when he does it again, and you're just going to stand here and let him get away with it?"

"Yeah Maria, I am." Liz replied lightly with a smile.

"Why?" Maria moaned, exasperated.

"I don't know…" Liz struggled, trying to come up with an explanation. "He and I just came to an understanding of sorts."

"An understanding?" Maria asked incredulously. "No, Liz. You're not getting involved with him again, are you?"

"Maria…" Liz tried to respond, but her friend kept talking.

"Liz…you can't. We've talked about this. The guy is scum. He's broken your heart again and again."

"Maria…" Liz tried again to no avail.

"You have to stay strong, Liz. You have to show Max that you're moving on…that you don't need him anymore."

"Maria!" Liz insisted, grabbing her friend by her shoulders to finally jar her friend's attention away from her rant.

"What?" Maria snapped.

"I'm not getting back together with Max." Liz stated firmly.

"You're not?" Maria sighed with relief.

Liz giggled, amused by her friend's response.

"No, Maria, I'm not. I said we came to an understanding…but getting back together? I'm not ready to be anything to him yet…" Liz's face dropped as the hint of the lasting pain in Liz's heart seeped into her eyes. "I'm not ready to start any kind of relationship right now with Max, be it romantic or even just friendship."

"Than what's with puppy dog eyes over there." Maria asked, gesturing behind her towards Max.

Liz's eyes followed Maria's gesture to rest on where Max sat in his booth across the room, watching them talk with a sad, yet curious gaze. As Liz met his eyes, he raised his brow, obviously aware that they were talking about him.

Shaking her head in irritation, Liz whirled around, crossing to a booth in the front of the room, away from Max's knowing eyes, to retrieve an order from a waiting customer. Maria, of course, followed, unsatisfied by Liz's answers.

"Liz!" Maria begged in a whiny voice as they crossed the floor. "Stop torturing me here and tell me what's going on!"

"Maria, we have to work." Liz insisted, ending the conversation as she turned to the customer. "Hi, welcome to the Crashdown Café. My name is Liz and I'll be your waitress today…"

"Fine then." Maria groaned, turning from her friend and marching straight to Max's table, sliding into the booth across from him.

Max's eyes widened in surprise at Maria's appearance. "Hi Maria…"

"Look, Max." Maria started firmly, glaring openly at him to prove that this wasn't a friendly visit. "I don't know what this little understanding you and Liz have come to is, but her mouth is shut tight, and I am going to scream if one of you doesn't tell me right now why you're in here mooning over Liz like you did every single day before the shooting."

Max opened his mouth to reply, but Maria suddenly gasped out loud, her jaw dropping as she stared at Max with wide eyes.

"Oh my God…that's it. You guys are both acting exactly how you did before the shooting. You're in here staring at Liz, and she's pretending she doesn't notice and treating you like every other customer in the room." Slapping her hand across her face, Maria moaned. "Why didn't I see this until now. You're pretending the past two years didn't even happen."

"She's not ready for more." Max admitted. "And if this is all she can give me right now, I'll take it. I need her, Maria."

"Have you ever thought that maybe she doesn't need you?"

Max's eyes darkened so much in pain, that Maria's heart softened just a bit. She almost, but not quite, regretted her words.

"Look…spaceboy…I'm not trying to hurt you here, but stop and think for a moment. You broke her heart. You did the one thing in the world that is completely and totally unforgivable. Your presence alone right now could be devastating to her. "

"Maria…I don't think…"

"No Max, you don't think." Maria cut him off. "Obviously you're not thinking if you believe that all that has happened could be fixed this easily. You need to give the girl time, and a lot of it. And even then she still shouldn't take you back if she knows what's good for her."

"I love her Maria." Max murmured softly.

"But obviously not enough." Maria rebutted sadly.

She watched his depression take over, amazed at how quickly you could see the change in him, as his eyes and shoulders simultaneously dropped…yet Maria still couldn't feel any pity for him. Max deserved this after all that he had done.

"Get out of here." Maria groaned in irritation, gesturing towards the door, as she stood and hurried towards the kitchen where Jose was ringing the bell over and over trying to get her attention. "All right, all right! I'm coming!"

posted on 3-Oct-2001 8:05:32 PM by Cookie2697
Whoa, whoa, whoa!!!!

Hang on just a sec here!!!

This is a PERFECT example of how things can be taken totally different than the author intended!

Suddenly I feel a lot like JK! LOL!

My intent for that part was for Maria to be lovable by being overprotective of Liz, and Max to be pitied!

I do NOT want this to turn into a Max bashing thread.

I am a huge Max lover and Max supporter. I always have been and I always will be.

This fic was not intended to make Max suffer in the slightest.

Yeah...he made a lot of mistakes. But SO DID LIZ. No one can be blamed more than the other. How many times did Max try, and Liz wouldn't give him any chance whatsoever. Liz practically tossed Max and Tess into bed together.

This fic was intended to be Max and Liz realistically working things out. Yes, it is going to be difficult, but YES they will be together again, because *I* am a dreamer and want them to be.

It was also intended to test my writing and do something other than "Yay, we're together and happy" and there's a lot of other pro-dreamer intentions that I can't say right now otherwise it will give away the big upcoming twist!

SO yeah. I would really appreciate any show bashing to be kept OFF my threads thank you very much. I'm a HUGE Roswell fan. Roswell. The show. That's on the air. That's why I'm here. I still love the show. I'm THRILLED about season 3. And I truly believe that all these mistakes can be mended, even without mindwarps.

Everything is real in this fic except FMax...and Max and Liz WILL find their way back to each other. Max is NOT the devil incarnate in my fic.

Okay...enough. I don't want to say anything I'll regret.

posted on 4-Oct-2001 1:55:01 AM by Cookie2697
Aww hell...I couldn't stop. So how about 2 parts in one day? Is that okay? Enjoy...and feedback please, but no Max bashing!

Part 4

Sleepless nights and endless days
And all I do is promise
To change my ways
Leave the lights on
You know I'll pretend
You're on you're way
You used to say that
There's a time we all deserve
To lose our minds
So I lost my mind now
I'm ready to find my way
Back home

I don't know if I'm gonna
Have to redesign my mind
But tonight I made a wish and
I sure hope that it comes true
'Cause it's been too long
Without you
It's been too long

I don't know if
I can wait this long
To be what I used to be
And I don't think
I can wait much longer
For the tide to
Come back to me
Come back to me

Back home today
To stay the way
I wish you would
And I swear
To stay the way
I wish you would

Max sighed, looking back one last time at the flashing lights of the Crashdown Café sign, before sticking his hands in his pockets and turning, slowly heading towards home.

Maria's words were stinging, heartbreaking…even if Max could see the truth in them. He admired her for looking out for Liz, thankful that Liz had someone like Maria that she could count on…but still. Max couldn't help wondering how far he was going to have to go to prove himself to Liz again.

Maria had been right about one thing. Liz didn't treat him as much of anything today. Talking to him like he was a complete stranger, or even a slight acquaintance, she took his order without any small talk, even ignoring the hopeful smile he had flashed her as she approached.

Still…it was a step in the right direction.

It had been the longest two months of his life since the day that Tess had blasted off to home. Once the shock of the moment had worn off, things had settled into a pretty steady routine. Maria and Liz hated him…and Michael was always with Maria, so he was out of the picture. Isabel had retreated back into her shell, still consumed with grief over Alex's death…almost more so since discovering how close to home the culprit had been.

So Max had found himself mostly alone, wallowing in his misery, beating himself up over his stupidity, and desperately trying to get Liz to see how sorry he was. But that last time he had gone to the Crashdown, she beat him, and he just couldn't take it any more. He had been broken…

For the past two weeks he had hidden out in his house…his entire world consisting of hiding out and leaving himself alone with his self-degrading thoughts. Until the night before when he couldn't take being alone anymore…and he felt a desperate need to see Liz's face.

Admittedly, since leaving Liz's room, Max had been on cloud nine. For the first time in two weeks he had found hope…and he had clung to it with all of his strength. He was naïve to think that things could improve so quickly…but he had been so desperate to see her that morning.

And until Maria had kicked him out, it had been worth every moment.

She still…glowed, the way she always did to him. More so now, because he could see with his own eyes how she had improved from the condition he had found her in the night before. Maria didn't see it…she didn't understand…but it had been clear as day to him. Liz was just as naïve as he was. Her anger had finally died, and in it's wake she was giving Max a second chance…finally.

Making his way across his front lawn, Max stopped, staring up at his home. He didn't want to be there right now…didn't want to go inside and face his family.

After not leaving the house for the past two weeks, Isabel would wonder where he had gone. She would ask questions he didn't want to answer. And his parents were even worse. They could sense his depression, but unlike Isabel they didn't know why. So they were constantly trying to talk to him about the things they did know about…Alex's death…Tess's disappearance. All of which were things that he couldn't talk to them about.

He just hoped they wouldn't try to send him to therapy again. Last time it had been too much.

Sighing, Max sat on the steps of his front porch, leaning back to stare up at the blue sky. He liked the sky during the day. It was so bright, so full of life, with the clouds rushing by and the birds…and during the day he didn't have to think about what was out there waiting for him in the stars. His destiny…his son…Tess…Khivar. The stars were a constant reminder of all of the things that Max desperately wanted to forget…but couldn't no matter how hard he tried.

"Max? Aren't you coming in?"

Max squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. The last thing he wanted was to talk to his sister about all that he was feeling inside at that moment.

"Hey Iz…I don't know. I wasn't quite ready yet." He finally admitted, accepting defeat.

"What's going on, Max?" Isabel asked curiously. "Where were you."

"At the Crashdown." Max replied truthfully.

"Did Liz kick you out again?"

"No…it was Maria this time." Max replied with a crooked smile. "Liz was fine with me being there…I wouldn't have gone otherwise."

"Max…" Isabel sighed. "Don't do this to yourself. You're going to torture yourself, going and watching her every day. It's not going to do you any good. What you need to do is get over her…not let yourself get attached."

Max shot Isabel a sharp look. "I thought we were beyond that now."

"We forgot about it for a while, Max. But stop and think for a minute. Alex is dead because of us. It's our fault…because we let him get involved with us. If we had just left him out of it from the start like we all wanted to, he'd still be out there."

"What are you saying, Iz?"

"I'm saying…" Isabel paused, struggling with her words. "What I'm saying is that you should let Liz go…before something actually happens to her. You don't want to loose her the way I lost Alex, Max. Getting involved with her again just isn't right."

---- ---- --- ---

Liz walked to the door of the Crashdown, peaking outside one last time, before sighing and turning the lock shut. All day she had been looking for excuses to peek out the window, hoping that maybe Max would come back. It made her feel weak…Liz wanted to hate Max…but her anger had worn out. Already, she felt like his presence in the Crashdown was comforting again, rather than threatening.

It didn't mean she was ready for a relationship with him yet, which she wasn't. There were too many lingering memories…too much pain in her heart. But she liked knowing that he was waiting patiently for her again.

Sighing, her eyes downcast, Liz turned around slowly, and looked up to meet Maria's eyes searching hers.

"Liz…what are you doing?" Maria asked suspiciously.

"I was just locking up."

"No." Maria interrupted. "I mean what's with the longing eyes. You can't do this, Liz. You can't go back to him."

"I'm not going back to him, Maria." Liz insisted.

"No…not yet." Maria agreed. "But you will, Liz. I can see it in your eyes."

Liz's eyes dropped again, as she nodded guiltily.

"Liz…babe. You know I'm not trying to be your baby sitter here or anything. I'm just trying to look out for you. I don't want to see you set yourself up to be hurt again."

"Look who's talking, Maria." Liz rebutted, suddenly feeling anger boil up inside her.

"What?" Maria asked in shock.

"I said look who's talking." Liz repeated, her eyes flashing. "It's not like you didn't do it to yourself too, Maria. Michael hurt you again and again, and you always went back to him. No matter how bad it was, you always went crawling back, and now look at the two of you. He stayed for you Maria. It was worth everything the two of you went though…don't deny that."

"Yeah, but."

"No buts, Maria." Liz exclaimed. "You have no right to be lecturing me like this. You have no right to drive Max away when…" Liz's voice trailed off.

"When what?" Maria questioned.

"Never mind."

"When what, Liz?" Maria demanded.

"When I wanted him here." Liz finally replied. "I didn't want to admit it, until he was gone…but having him sitting there…it felt like things were finally getting back to normal…and it was…nice."

posted on 4-Oct-2001 11:41:58 AM by Cookie2697
Thanks so much for all the amazing feedback!

I really apprecitated the comments about Maria. Actually somewhere down the line...I think while I was working on TOF someone told me that I write a good Maria...but I have to be in the right state of mind to write her...and I got in that state of mind yesterday and just felt really quirky and felt like writing her really quirky. I'm glad that came across well.

This is the Maria I liked best a character. But to agree with AvengingAngel...this was also doormat Maria, and I had no respect for her whatsoever for the way she let Michael treat her. (But I won't go there 'cause, can we say long insulting rant much? Yeah...don't want to piss off any lurking Candygirls! LOL!)

You ARE getting what I was trying to convey in this part, which is there is basically no one supporting a reunion between them...even if deep down they both want it. Complications, complications. This fic is ALL about complications.

Now I gotta figure out how to add Michael to the mix. LOL!

It may be a few days before I get another part out...which is why I almost didn't post this part last night...but I've got a pretty crazy weekend ahead of me...aside from the fact that I'm working for the next 4 days (My next day off is Roswell day!) My mom is leaving for Europe tonight, and I have to take her to the airport at 3AM!!! And then the complications to my weekend just keep adding in...

I'm really thrilled that you guys are starting to enjoy this now...'cause I have BIG plans for it and I'm REALLY looking forward to what's coming!! Hopefully y'all will like it too! *grin*

Thanks again y'all!! *hugs*

posted on 4-Oct-2001 6:58:09 PM by Cookie2697's me again!!
I love coming home from work to fun feedback!!!

Jayne- Hmmmm...3 days? I'll bet it's possible! *evil grin*

Scottie - To answer your's all music. I'm picking a different song to represent each chapter. And there's a music list on the original post...I'll add as each chapter is posted. But to give you the list here...the first chapter was My Oh My -David Gray. 2nd chapter = Storm by Blyss (AKA early Lifehouse), 3rd was Respect by Train, and 4th was I Wish You Would again by Train. I've got to pass off the idea...I stole it from my friend Mel's fic "Lost For You". She did a different song for every chapter, and said it was fun, and I thought I would enjoy doing the same with this fic. The TITLE actually comes from a song that will be coming nearly the end actually... Trouble by Coldplay.

Thanks again y'all! Hopefully more will come soon. I have to decide whether to drag all this out longer or whether to get straight to the twist. Hmmm.

posted on 16-Oct-2001 5:43:28 PM by Cookie2697
Hey you guys!
Well, guess what? This is the turning point in the fic. I hope you still like where I'm going...torture is over, to a certain Anyways...I've been SOOO Excited to write this was thrilling to do it today, and of course I'm DYING to hear what you think!!!

Part 5

Friday night I'm going nowhere
All the lights are changing green to red
Turning over TV stations
Situations running through my head
Well looking back through time
You know it's clear that I've been blind
I've been a fool
To ever open up my heart
To all that jealousy, that bitterness, that ridicule

Saturday I'm running wild
And all the lights are changing red to green
Moving through the crowd I'm pushing
Chemicals all rushing through my bloodstream
Only wish that you were here
You know I'm seeing it so clear
I've been afraid
To tell you how I really feel
Admit to some of those bad mistakes I've made

If you want it come and get it, crying out loud
The love that I was giving you was never in doubt
Let go your heart, let go your head, and feel it now

Late the next afternoon, Liz's shift was just ending when the bell on the door jingled, announcing his entrance. She turned to greet the customer, and her heart full out stopped in her chest at the site of Max walking towards her with a determined glint in his eyes.

"Max!" She gaped, trying desperately not too sound too shaken to see him.

"Liz." He replied evenly. "You're getting off now, aren't you?"


"Come with me." He implored her.

Liz's eyes widened in surprise. He wasn't asking…

"Where?" Liz asked, uncertain as to where he was going with all of this.

"Just away from all of this for the night. Away from Maria, away from Isabel…away from everything. It'll just be you and me, without any outside pressure…and we can just talk about everything."

"I don't know if that's a very good idea." Liz sighed…even as her mind screamed over and over again at her: 'What are you talking about? Of course it's a good idea! Go with him!'

"Liz…please?" Max asked more gently this time. "Just give me this one night to try and prove to you that we can move forward together. I promise you, Liz. If you ask me to leave you alone tomorrow morning, I will respect your wishes."

Liz searched his eyes, which were genuinely pleading with her to give him one last chance. She was never able to resist Max, when he looked at her so lovingly and openly…it was almost like having her old Max back. For the first time in months, her heart opened to him.

"Give me ten minutes to go upstairs and change." Liz requested, and Max nodded eagerly in agreement. "Michael is in the kitchen." She reminded him, as she untied her apron and headed for the back door.

------ ------ -------

"Hey Michael." Max greeted his friend with a nod as he walked into the kitchen, leaning his back against the counter. "I haven't seen you in a while."

"I've been busy, you know…with Maria." Michael explained a bit guiltily.

Max grinned at his friend. "You're a lucky guy, Michael."

"Yeah, I know." Michael replied honestly, turning to his friend with serious eyes as he broached a subject that they had avoided for a long time. "I'm glad we didn't go, Max."

"Me too." Max agreed softly.

The silence that followed was pensive, as both friends lingered back to the mistake that they came so close to making…for as many regrets as they may have…there were a few things that they did right…barely…like saving Liz, telling the humans, trusting each other…and staying behind when Tess blasted off to another planet.

"So what are you doing here anyway, Maxwell?" Michael asked, breaking the silence. "Maria will kill you if she sees you."

Max chuckled, knowing full well the truth behind Michael's words. "Yeah…but I was willing to risk it."

"To see Liz?"

Max's smile deepened. "Yeah."

"Good for you, Maxwell."

Max's eyes widened in surprise. "What did you just say?"

Now it was Michael's turn to laugh. "Don't be so surprised, Max. Is it really that bad right now?" Michael continued on, not waiting for an answer. "Maria would kick my ass if she heard me say that, but I say do whatever you can to get her back, Maxwell. You both deserve that much."

"Thank you Michael."

"Don't thank me, Max. It really is for the best. Maria is so pissed at you that she's not seeing things clearly right now. Liz has been like a ghost without you…just wandering around here depressed all the time…even if she couldn't admit it. If she's finally ready to give you the time of the day, take it, Max, and fix things between the two of you."

"I will." Max swore.

------- ------- ------- --------

"Liz?" Maria greeted her friend as she let herself into her bedroom, closing the door softly behind her. "Max is in the kitchen."

"Yeah…I know." Liz replied firmly, as she slid a sweater over her head.

Maria sighed. "Liz…I didn't go in there and yell at him or anything…he probably doesn't even know I saw him."

"Good." Liz responded quickly.

"Liz, do I have to run an intervention here?" Maria groaned. "You're not actually going out with him are you?"

"Actually, Maria…I am."

"I don't think you should…stay strong, Liz. Don't let him get to you."

Liz paused for a long moment, turning to stare at her friend before finally responding. "Maria…I'm going to only say this one time. Butt out. This is my life and I'm going to do what I want with it…and right now what I want to do is hear Max out. I love you dearly, Maria…and I really appreciate that you're trying to protect me…but right now you need to just let it go."

Maria gaped at her friend for a few moments, before whirling around and walking right out of the room.

Liz sighed, and grabbed her purse before shutting off the light and heading down to meet Max.

------ -------- -------- ------

"Frazier Woods, huh?" Liz asked Max as she stepped out of his convertible, and took a deep breath, taking in the fresh air mingled with the lingering scent of the pine trees.

"Yeah…it reminds me of the last time I realized what an idiot I've been." Max explained. "I remember when we came here on that camping trip, right after the first time I broke your heart. I was watching you all weekend, watching me, and I wanted to rectify everything between us so badly, but I was stupid, stubborn, and I insisted on keeping a distance between us."

Liz met his eyes curiously, wondering what he was getting at.

"I don't want to make the same mistake again, Liz. Watching you yesterday, I get the feeling that you're ready for me again…and I don't want to stay away this time…unless I'm wrong and you want me to go…then I'll respect your wishes. But please, Liz…prove to me that I'm right."

Liz waited a long moment before responding.

"You're right, Max. I don't want you to stay away. I know that for certain." She hesitated, trying to find the words she was looking for. "However I don't know what I do want from you right now."

"Try and tell me." Max begged her. "Whatever you want…I'll do anything you ask. I just can't stand to be away from you anymore…I'm nothing without you."

Liz met his eyes, and almost gasped aloud, as their eyes locked…she couldn't pull away from him. What she had been sensing all night, was truly there. Her Max was back…focused on her again. He had gotten lost along the way somehow…maybe he had been defeated from the heartbreak that she had caused him, but Max Evans was whole again…and desperately looking for the home he had found two years earlier in Liz Parker.

Liz's heart ached to run at him, throw herself in his arms and kiss him senseless…but it was something else that had changed over the past year…Liz too had lost her way. She had taught herself to ignore her heart since the day that a future version of Max Evans had turned up at her window…and she ignored it still.

"Max…I…" She stammered over her words, fighting an internal battle, before her mind finally won. "This is all happening so fast." She cried.

Max took a desperate step towards her, shaking his head, pleading with her. "No, Liz…it's not. We've been fighting each other for two months now…please…don't give up on me…I love you."

His words stung her broken heart, as she heard him say the oath that she had longed for, for so long. Finally her heart won the fight.

"I love you too, Max. I always have."

"Then don't fight this, Liz…please. We'll take it slowly…start from the beginning again. It doesn't have to be intense…it just has to be…something."

Liz nodded in agreement. "Slow is probably best."

Max paused for a long moment, studying her eyes deeply before finally asking. "Does slow mean that I can't kiss you?"

Liz froze in shock. Never once had she considered she'd be coming out with Max for this. Not once in the last few weeks had she even considered that he might kiss her so soon.

They stood there still for a long, silent moment, in a sort of sensual face off, Max waiting patiently for some kind of response, any kind of response from Liz…and Liz with no idea at all how to respond. She couldn't even think clearly…all she could do was stand there frozen staring at Max's lips, and trying to remember how incredible it used to feel when her Max used to kiss her.

"Okay, Liz." Max started carefully. "Since you're not protesting…in about ten seconds, unless you tell me otherwise, I'm going to kiss you. I really, really hope that you don't stop me, but if you do I totally understand and will respect that."

Slowly, softly, Max began counting out loud to the two of them, and his heart jumped when she didn't say anything. Beaming at her when ten seconds was over, Max slowly crossed the distance to her, and cupped her face in his hands, startled to see a tear slip down her cheek.

"Don't cry." Max whispered, as he brushed the tears away with a gentle swipe of his thumb against her smooth, soft skin. Slowly, carefully, in a manner so worshipful that it reminded Liz of their first kiss, Max brushed his lips against hers in a nearly feather-light caress.

The world seemed to fade away, as Max pulled back, and met her eyes again, relieved to see love, and joy nestled there. He could see the traces of fear too, and prayed that he could wipe them away, as he leaned in again, capturing her lips more firmly this time.

Gasping against his embrace, Liz responded eagerly, urging his lips further, as he hungrily devoured her mouth.

As flashes began seeping into their minds, they both went catapulting over the edge of sanity. It had been so long since they had felt this…and it hadn't faded in the slightest…in fact, if anything, it had grown stronger in their absence, totally controlling them, as they relived moment after moment of their lives together, from the first time they saw each other, back in the third grade, to the shooting, their first connection, their first kiss, the first night they spent together in the desert, Liz running from Max in the desert, Liz dancing with Future Max on her balcony, their dance in Las Vegas, and finally their last kiss, as they said goodbye in the jeep, thinking to never see each other again.

Along with the images came an onslaught of emotions…love, so strong it overwhelmed them, intense horrible pain, desperation, sadness…because of all of the time they had lost.

As quickly as the connection began, it ended, and Max breathlessly pulled away…although, unable to break the embrace yet, he leaned his forehead against Liz's as he desperately tried to regain control over himself.

"Wow…" Liz gasped, as she peeked up and met Max's eyes.

But their overwhelming joy was short lived, as suddenly a loud rumbling surged through the air around them, and the whole world seemed to begin to spin.

Liz met Max's eyes fearfully, the last thing she saw before a blinding flash of white light overwhelmed her vision, and the world went black.

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 16-Oct-2001 5:47:51 PM ]
posted on 17-Oct-2001 1:47:53 AM by Cookie2697
*sniff* I hate shamelessly bumping threads, but I don't want you guys to miss this!!!
posted on 17-Oct-2001 12:25:55 PM by Cookie2697
lol...I figured it would throw y'all for a loop having Michael actually support them...I figured it was a side effect of him actually growing up and staying behind for Maria and all of that...that he finally thinks its okay for Max to do the same with Liz.

As for the end...I was trying to show that Liz WAS scared...but unable to say no...did that come across at all? She was scared shitless, but she was also following her heart, and her heart wanted it *grin* for the next part...I'll try to get my butt in gear...I want to get it up too *grin*
posted on 17-Oct-2001 6:44:49 PM by Cookie2697
Thanks for the sweet feedback *grin*
I just started part 6 actually...I didn't get to go see Save Ferris today like I had hoped, so instead I'm working on fic...this and an episode tag, which I think don't think anyone's going to like it...but that one is pretty close to being done, and once it's up I'm going to focus entirely on part 6...hopefully I'll get it up tomorrow! I really, really want to *evil grin*
Thanks for reading!
posted on 17-Oct-2001 11:17:56 PM by Cookie2697
Part 6

Catch your breath hit the wall
Scream out loud as you start to crawl
Back in your cage the only place
Where they will leave you alone
'Cause the weak will seek the weaker
Until they've broken them
Could you get it back again
Would it be the same
Fulfillment to their lack of strength
At your expense
Left you with no defense
They tore it down

And I have felt the same as you
I've felt the same as you
I've felt the same

Locked inside the only place
Where you feel sheltered
Where you feel safe
You lost yourself
In your search to find
Something else to hide behind
The fearful always preyed
Upon your confidence
Did they see the consequence
When they pushed you around

And I have felt the same as you
I've felt the same as you
I've felt the same

She woke slowly, her eyes flickering open. Her sight was blurry, her head aching…her mind foggy. Shaking her head, she tried to clear her eyes, clear her head. She needed to figure out what was going on.

Pushing herself up to her knees, she squinted and examined her surroundings.

She had been lying in the dirt, in the middle of the forest, all by herself, at least that was how it appeared.

Coughing to clear her throat, she finally found her voice, shouting out one shaky word. "Hello?"

There was no response.

"Is anyone around?" She called again, her voice finally steadying along with her sight.

Shivering, she finally stood, wrapping her arms around herself for warmth, as she looked up at the faint early morning sky. Early morning…how long had she been out here? There would be people looking for her…wouldn't there?

But who?

Desperately, she shook her head, trying to clear her mind enough to figure out anything about what was happening to her…why she was here…who would be able to find her there.

There was nothing.

Tears of frustration stung her eyes…but she wouldn't let herself cry. Instead she started walking, but as she turned in circles, she realized she had no idea where to go.

Fear seized her heart, and her knees buckled beneath her, as she fell back to the earth. Clawing at the pine needles beneath her hands, she broke down, sobbing loud, gulping sobs.

She was crying so loud that she almost didn't hear the voice.

"Liz?" A woman's voice called out from a short distance away. "Liz? Are you out here? Can you hear me?"

Her voice was shaky again from her break down, but she managed to find her voice enough to call out to the voice.

"Help!" She cried loudly.

"Liz? Is that you?"

"Please…help me." She moaned, a little softer this time, as a face emerged from the trees.

It was a blonde girl, who had a huge smile of relief in her eyes, as she came rushing towards her. Something tickled at her mind as she stared at the blonde…like something she should know…but it faded as soon as it appeared.

"Liz! Oh my God, Liz! What the hell were you thinking, you idiot, disappearing like that and not coming home? You had us all worried sick!"

The blonde suddenly froze, noticing the blank look in her eyes.

"You know me?" She asked carefully, searching the blonde nervously.

"Liz?" The blonde asked uncertainly.

"Who is Liz?" She asked in frustration…and the blonde's response sent her world crashing into oblivion.

"You are!"

She searched her mind, trying to find a name…anything that sounded familiar…but there was nothing. Whatever had happened to her must have done something to her memory.

"I'm sorry…something must have happened to me…I don't…" She stammered over her words. "I'm Liz?" She asked in a broken voice.

"Oh my God…" The blonde mumbled, searching through her purse anxiously. "Oh my God…I can't believe this is happening." She pulled out a small glass jar and twisted the lid off, sniffing it like crazy.

"What's that?" The girl asked curiously.

"Cedar oil…it relieves stress." The blonde explained, a wild look in her eyes, as she stared at the girl in shock.

"Okay…" The girl sighed, desperately trying to figure out what to do. "I…I need your help." She stammered awkwardly. "There's something wrong with me…and until it gets better…I need help. You obviously know me, so maybe you can help me figure out who I am and where I need to be."

"Of course…you're my best friend. I'd do anything for you." The blonde exclaimed. "But then again, you probably don't know that, do you? God, this is so weird."

"I'm sorry. I know this is probably really hard for you." The girl tried to sympathize. "What's your name? Maybe we should start there and then get reacquainted with each other."

The blonde nodded wildly. "Yeah…all that while I take you back to town, okay? My name's Maria…Maria Deluca."

"Okay." The girl giggled, as she stuck out her hand. "Nice to meet you Maria Deluca, my name is Liz….uh…what's my last name?"

Maria took her hand with a grin and shook it firmly. "Liz Parker…nice to meet you. Come on…the jetta is just through those trees…we'll take you back to town. Your parents are worried sick about you!"

------ --------- -------

"Max?" Isabel asked as she stepped out of her car. "Max? Are you okay?" He still didn't response. "MAX!"

"What?" He responded quickly, turning to look at the blonde girl who had found him out in the woods. He had been alone and unconscious when she found him and woke him. His condition had confused her, but she didn't know what to do, so she told him to get in his car, the convertible that was nearby and follow her home.

"You're talking to me?" He asked quickly.

"Oh God…" Isabel groaned impatiently, walking closer to her brother.

"Listen…there's a few things you have to realize before we walk in there." Isabel explained, slightly exasperated, but desperately trying to be patient. "Mom and Dad cannot know that there's anything wrong with you…which means you have to act as normal as possible. Do you understand?"

He nodded, gesturing for her to continue.

"You are Max Evans…you need to respond to your name, Max. I'm your sister Isabel. Do you understand that?"

"Yeah." He agreed quickly.

"Okay…you're 18 years old, you're going to be a Senior at West Roswell High next month. You're a straight A student, sort of a science nerd. Your best friend is Michael. If mom and dad ask, you went camping last night, and forgot to call."

Max nodded quickly. "Okay."

"If they ask anything else I'll cover for you until we can get you all the answers."

"We?" Max asked curiously.

"Michael and I." Isabel explained. "Okay…you ready? Let's go."

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 17-Oct-2001 11:32:40 PM ]
posted on 18-Oct-2001 12:48:00 PM by Cookie2697
Thanks for the feedback y'all!!!

I know I left you with a lot of questions after that part...and don't worry, they will be all answered, some sooner than others...but I'm going to try to get part 7 out sometime today so that you guys can learn why M/L were found they found them...etc...

Unfortunately it will be a while before you find out WHAT happened...because...well, the only 2 witnesses have no memory of the events that occurred.

However I can assure you of one thing...there are no rodents involved. As much issues as she's caused to lead up to this point, Tess is not going to appear in this fic at all...I promise!

Maybe I can ease your fears with this...

I don't intend for this to complicate things too much. There is the issue that they don't know each other...and the issue that Isabel and Maria don't want them together...but what I am trying to do with this twist is to totally wipe the slate clean between Max and opens them up to a lot of possibilities *grin*

So I hope that helped.

Thanks again...look for more soon!
posted on 18-Oct-2001 11:37:25 PM by Cookie2697
Part 7

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
Tired of living like a blind man
I'm sick inside without a sense of feeling
And this is how you remind me
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breaking
I've been wrong, I've been down


"Max? Isabel? Is that you?" Diane Evans called out as she heard the front door softly shut.

"Yeah, mom!" Isabel called.

"You found him?" Diane breathed in relief.

Max stayed silent until Isabel elbowed him in the side.

"Yeah…she found me. Sorry about that, mom. I didn't mean to scare you. I went camping, and kind of forgot to call…"

Diane finally emerged from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel, as she gave Max a firm look.

"Don't forget next time, please? You had me worried sick!"

"I'm sorry, mom."

Diane nodded tersely. "Have you eaten? I can throw something together for you…"

"No…that's okay…I think Isabel and I need to talk." Max replied quickly. He didn’t want to get stuck talking to his mother for a long time before he had a chance to get a little more background from Isabel.

"Okay…have fun."

The moment Diane was back in the kitchen, Isabel gestured to the hallway.

"Your room is down here." She hissed softly, leading him towards the back of the house.

Max paused in the hallway. It's walls were littered with pictures…pictures of his mother and the man that he assumed was his father. Pictures of him and Isabel when they were younger…he studied each one carefully, trying to burn the images in his head, hoping that maybe they would unleash some sort of memory.

But nothing came.

Sighing in defeat, Max followed his sister into his bedroom.

He could feel her eyes following him as he studied his bedroom, taking in everything for what felt like the first time to him. The large bed sat comfortably in the middle of the room. His desk was neat, very few books and papers littering it. He had a small walk in closet, with the door wide open, a metal bar stuck in the doorway, probably for exercise. There were a few posters lining the walls, but not many.

It was a strange sensation, walking into the place that he knew must be his home, but not recognizing anything. This was probably the place that defined him, yet walking around the room, he found very few clues to tell him who he was.

"Max…are you okay?" Isabel asked softly, gently. Reality was finally starting to hit her…he didn't know anything about who he was, what he was. He had lost everything… Isabel couldn't even imagine what that was like for him.

For the first time since entering the room, Max looked up at his sister.

"Yeah…I'm…" Max sighed. "This is all just really overwhelming."

"I can imagine it is." Isabel sympathized. "I can't say I understand though, because I don't…I've never been there…but I will do whatever I can to help you, Max. You can ask me anything you want."

Max suddenly laughed loudly, bitterly. "I don't even know what kinds of questions to ask…there's just one going through my head, over and over again…and it's a question no one can truly answer. Who am I?"

"What makes you think no one can answer it?" Isabel asked curiously.

"Because…" Max explained carefully. "You probably see me differently then I see me, and our mother probably sees me even differently. Everyone has a different perspective."

Isabel nodded silently. "That makes sense."

"So how do you see me, Isabel?" Max asked, sitting down in his desk chair, and running his hands through his hair.

Isabel paused for a long moment as she sat down on the bed.

"You're…I don't know. You're my brother. You're so strong, Max…a natural leader…although sometimes you boss me around too much." She chuckled slightly on her last words before continuing. "You're such a loving person, Max. You only put your trust in a select few…but once someone is let into your circle, you'll protect them with anything in your power. A lot of people think you're quiet, but I know differently. You're stubborn as all hell. You're…secretive. Not with me, but with many other people you are. You're very trustworthy, Max."

Max nodded pensively. "How did you find me this morning?"

"I was driving around looking for you when you didn't come home last night, and I saw your car."

"Do you know why I went to the woods?"

Isabel sighed. "No, I don't. It was about the tenth place I went this morning…you have a million different places that you go when you want to get away. You didn't tell me where you were going when you left, yesterday."

"You didn't see anyone else?" Max asked carefully.

"No…should there have been someone else?" Isabel asked curiously, but she suddenly twisted her face into a funny scowl. "I guess you wouldn't know, would you?"

"No." Max grimaced. "I wouldn't…but I thought I'd ask anyway…see if maybe someone did this to me."

"You were alone." Isabel confirmed.

"Okay…" Max mumbled, his mind racing for the next question. "Why don't you want anyone knowing what happened to me? Shouldn't I see a doctor or something."

"No…you definitely shouldn't see a doctor, Max." Isabel insisted, taking a deep breath and searching his eyes a little wildly. "God…I don't even know how to get into this. You've already been through so much today…you probably don't need any more shocks…but you need to know at least this much, to keep yourself safe."

"Keep myself safe…what are you talking about?"

"Max…I don't know how to tell you this…you were always the one to tell the few people that know…I mean, God, not even our parents know…we're adopted so they never needed to know!"

"We're adopted?" Max exclaimed.

"Umm…yeah, I forgot to tell you that. Mom and Dad found us out in the desert when we were six."

"Okay." Max replied faintly. "So our parents don't know…who does know?"

"Besides the two of us, Michael knows, his girlfriend Maria knows, and Sheriff Valenti and his son Kyle." Isabel purposefully left Liz out of the equation…Max didn't need to get involved with all of those issues right now…he had enough problems as it was.

"Okay…so what's the big secret." Max asked.

"Well…" Isabel stammered. "We're a little different, you and I."

"Different?" Max asked in confusion. "Different how?"

"Well…we're not exactly human…we're aliens."

Max was silent for a long moment, before he burst out laughing. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Actually I'm totally serious." Isabel replied flatly. "You need to know so that you can protect yourself. You and I are aliens…we can do things that normal humans can't do…our blood and cells are different and our bodies work differently, so you can't see a doctor."

"Okay…I wasn't expecting this." Max exclaimed, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I know it must come as a shock to you." Isabel murmured.

"Understatement." Max replied flatly. "What kind of things can we do?"

"You can heal." Isabel replied simply. "I enter people's dreams. Both of us can mess with the molecular structure of things…here, why don't you try?"

"Try?" Max asked hesitantly, as he picked up a rock that was sitting on his desk. "How?"

"Just…focus on the object, on its molecules…on changing it's molecules somehow."

Max nodded, and turned his full attention on the stone in his hand…a sandy, red stone that probably originated from the local desert. Focusing on it, he envisioned it as a smooth metallic rock. His eyes widened as his hand started to glow, and the rock transformed before his very eyes.

Silence filled the room, as both Max and Isabel stared at the rock in his hand. Max tossed it in the air and caught it a few times, studying it to make sure it wasn't his imagination.

"Okay…so I'm an alien." Max agreed faintly.

posted on 19-Oct-2001 12:04:17 AM by Cookie2697
LOL...hell, Shelly, I'm salivating over WRITING the first M/L of the reasons I'm writing like mad...I want to get there! LOL!

And little plot? Isn't it already all about torturing you? hehehhe... j/k!

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 19-Oct-2001 12:05:35 AM ]
posted on 19-Oct-2001 12:14:30 AM by Cookie2697

*runs around the room in circles tearing out hair*



Insane and tortured? Me? NEVER!!!!!!!

Oh, and by the way...TATROOL!!! TATROOL!!! GET TO WORK!!!!

Wow...I think this is the first time I've reduced myself to begging for other people's fic on my OWN threads!!!
posted on 19-Oct-2001 12:25:54 AM by Cookie2697
Oh, God!!!

*bites nails nervously*

Haven't I learned anything yet? I should NEVER try to out-evil the Roswell bitch!!! ACK!!!


Please tell me you're writing...and no, essays and HP fics don't count!! TATROOL only, dammit...and maybe RTI...if I'm feeling nice...

Just wait until we meet in person... *evil grin* I'm going to get you then....
posted on 19-Oct-2001 12:47:57 AM by Cookie2697
Hmmmm....did you just say you want me to tell a certain hottie all your deepest darkest most embarrassing obsessive secrets...

"Hey Isaac...did you hear the one about the time she wrote that particularly embarrassing story about the gas station bathroom? It was GREAT!"

Hmmm...I don't know what I'll call you in person...probably a mix of both...we'll see.

You are quite indecisive you know? One day you tell me that it would be weird for me to call you anything other than Jez...this time it's DON'T call me need to make up your mind before the 12th! LOL!

Oh yeah...and while we're flipping out here....TATROOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmm...I should catch up on FAD
posted on 19-Oct-2001 12:55:26 AM by Cookie2697


*bloodcurling scream*

Don't mess with TATROOL on account of me? Pretty please? Pretty, pretty please?


I swear I'll call you Erin and gas station bathrooms won't EVER Come into the conversation....

....however there's always RCS
posted on 19-Oct-2001 1:11:18 AM by Cookie2697
*dreamy sigh*

ahhh the good ol' days of RCS fic parodies, where gas station bathrooms were used as torture, devil dogs were murdered by angry wives, Alex and I jammed with our guitars, there were hundreds of Max's running around, and jello wrestling was a regular occurence....

*sigh* I miss those days!
posted on 19-Oct-2001 1:18:41 AM by Cookie2697
YES! Gas station bathrooms were used as a torture device against YOU for not being kinder to Kyle...of course those were the days when Kyle wasn't QUITE so lovable! LOL! We still referred to him as stalker boy back then...

Oh God... I DO feel like an old maid! It's fun to rehash early board memories. Where's Jen and Patti and Isis when we need them? They would get a kick out of this! LOL!

ohhhh...I think we've hit the point of

posted on 19-Oct-2001 1:25:48 AM by Cookie2697

That's in the past?

Hmmmm...I'm not on any mailing lists with Janis anymore, since all my mailing lists are pretty dreamer oriented these days...however I did meet her in LA in August...that was cool.

Hey...this has been WAY Too much fun...I'm sure my readers are going to be VERY entertained...but it's bedtime...I have work tomorrow...ttyl!!
posted on 22-Oct-2001 1:16:45 AM by Cookie2697
Part 8

Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time...

And who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose?
Only time...

Who can say why your heart sighs,
As your love flies?
Only time...

And who can say why your heart cries,
When your love dies?
Only time...

And who can say when the day sleeps,
If the night keeps all your heart?
Night keeps all your heart...

Who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose?
Only time...

And who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time...

Who knows?
Only time...


"Okay…I'm going to ask you a series of question…please try your best to answer them to the best of your knowledge, can you do that?"


"Okay…what's your name?"

"Liz Parker."



"What's your date of birth? Liz? Your birthday?"

"I…I don't know."

"Okay…what do you remember from the night you lost your memory. Why were you in the woods that night?"

"I'm not sure…I can't remember."

"Is there anything at all, Liz? Any emotions you associate with the woods? Anything?"

"No…I'm sorry. There's nothing before I woke up and saw Maria."

"Let's reach a little further back, Liz. Do you remember anything from your childhood? What were your dreams when you were five?"

"I…I'm sorry…"

-------- --------- ----------

"Mr. Parker? Mrs. Parker?" The doctor greeted them solemnly as he entered his office, and sat across from Liz's parent.

"Yes, doctor…what's the diagnosis?" Jeff asked anxiously.

"Well, your daughter definitely has a severe case of amnesia…the thing is that there is absolutely no explanation of it. Our tests show that there is nothing wrong with her brain at all."

"Nothing wrong?" Jeff exclaimed in disgust. "What do you mean? Of course there's something wrong!"

"Whatever is going on within her head is a block of some sort…possibly even self-initiated, which hopefully she will eventually come out of on her own."

"On her own?" Nancy's brow furrowed as she tried to comprehend what the doctor was telling them. "But how long will that take?"

"That's the problem…we don't know. She could come out of it tomorrow…or she could never come out of it at all."

"What can we do to help her?"

"Mostly just be patient with her. Try to help jar her memories by telling her stories, answering her questions, but I don't recommend that you push her too far. This is going to be a very hard time for Liz."

Nancy and Jeff both nodded in understanding. "Thank you doctor."

The doctor smiled sadly at them as they stood to leave. "Good luck with her."

------ ------- -------

"Liz?" Maria asked carefully as she peeked her head into her friend's bedroom.

"Yeah…come on in." Liz replied in a distracted voice.

Maria entered the room, and froze to see her friend standing by her desk, studying everything carefully. Occasionally she would pick an object up, and turn it in her hands for a few minutes, before setting in back down.

It was still extremely frightening to Maria…to see her best friend there, but to know that her best friend wasn't really in there…or was really in there, but wasn't active in there. It was like Liz was a walking shell of her old self…and Maria would do almost anything to get her friend back.

"How did it go at the doctor's?" Maria pushed, as she stepped into the room.

"It was fine…I don't know. He asked me a lot of questions and didn't come up with any firm answers. There's not much to tell." Liz replied, her eyes never leaving her desk.

Maria followed Liz's gaze, and sucked in a nervous breath when she saw what Liz was staring at this time. It was a framed picture, prominently displayed among her variety of figurines and statuettes.

Maria watched as her friend reached out hesitantly, and picked up the picture, studying it closely for a few seconds, before reaching out a finger and tracing one of the faces with a feather light touch.

"Maria…who is this?" Liz finally asked, of the tall, lanky dark-haired boy in the picture, turning to show it to her friend. Liz didn't miss the way that Maria's eyes darkened sadly.

"That's Alex." Maria answered softly.

"He's a friend of ours?" Liz asked curiously.

"Yeah…he was our best friend." Maria responded, her eyes tearing up in pain. "The three of us were inseparable.

"Was? Where is he now?"

"He's dead." Maria told her shortly.

"Dead?" Liz gasped. "How?"

"He was…" Maria stopped herself about to say 'murdered by an evil, vicious, slutty alien'. "It was a car crash." She informed her friend with a sigh. "About three months ago."

"Oh." Liz murmured, uncertain how else to respond. "I wish I could remember him."

"Yeah…I wish you could too." Maria smiled gently. "He was…the greatest person in the world, Liz. He was so strong, and brave, and protective of us. He was hilarious…he always knew how to make us laugh, even when we were down in the dumps. And he was such a great listener. You and him had a really special bond, Liz. His death…it destroyed you."

Liz felt her own tears starting to fill her eyes, only tears of frustration, not tears of sadness. Maria was crying over the memory of a friend, but Liz had no memory of this person who was such an important part of her past…and he was important. She could feel it in her heart.

"Maria…I need…I need to be alone right now. Could we maybe talk later?" Liz quickly requested, turning her back to her friend. "Please?" She asked again, a little desperately.

"Yeah…of course." Maria replied a little too cheerfully. "Call me if you want to talk, okay, Liz? I'll come over right away."

"I will." Liz promised. "I just…I need a little time to let everything sink in."

"I understand." Maria nodded stiffly. "I'll talk to you later, Liz."

Liz waited until Maria had shut the door behind her, before setting the picture back down, and turning her back to the faces that were mocking her to remember something, anything. She was trying so hard to get a flash of anything familiar, that it was making her brain hurt, studying every object in her room, touching anything she could…hoping something would conjure up some feelings, emotions. The picture was the first thing that made her feel anything at all…but it made her feel frustration, that this person could look like such a complete stranger to her.

Suddenly, Liz felt exhausted.

All of this was too much for her…she just wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear. She felt like she was nothing anyway…just a walking zombie with no past, and a future that hung in the balance. She had no known dreams or aspirations, except to find out who she was before…and that was so overwhelming she didn't even know where to start rediscovering herself.

Walking in circles for a moment, Liz's gaze finally settled on the room's one window. Walking over to it, she slid it open, and looked outside. For the first time all afternoon, a true smile of joy filled her face, as she crawled outside and stood amongst all the unlit candles, plants, and blankets that littered her balcony. Grabbing a blanket, Liz wrapped it around her shoulders and sat on the lawn chair, and stared up at the slowly darkening evening sky.

Almost instantly all of her frustration slipped away, as she hugged the blanket around her and studied the sky, feeling almost at peace with herself.

Liz knew, without a doubt, in that moment, that this place was important to her. It was the first place that she had actually felt close to her previous self.

Smiling softly to herself, Liz sat on her balcony for hours, watching the sun slowly set in a beautiful array of oranges and reds, until the sky finally darkened to a deep black, the stars slowly sparkling to life.

posted on 22-Oct-2001 1:29:22 AM by Cookie2697
Dude...Catherine. You hit the point I've always believed right on the nose there. Max and Liz are the glue that hold the group together, so without them there IS no group. Did we EVER see the group work together in Season 2? NOPE! And why is that? What else was different? Oh yeah, M/L could barely stand each other. Hmmmmm... lol.

Also notice I hinted at that early in this fic, how the group was basically non-existant, with M/M together, Liz kind of all alone, Max kind of all alone, and Isabel wallowing in her misery...

You definitely caught a point I was trying to make! Way to go!

Oh, and btw...I'm going to see Lifehouse in Sac tomorrow night! Woo hoo! Just had to share that I'm going to be in your neck of the woods! hee hee!
posted on 22-Oct-2001 3:33:53 PM by Cookie2697
Yeah...that line has my own personal feelings written all over it doesn't it?

I'm going to have to say that you won't be waiting much longer, for what everyone's waiting for...mostly 'cause I want to get there too! hehehehe....

And while I'm here, I really need to retract my comment that Max and Liz couldn't stand each other, because I have never once believed that for a second (otherwise why would I still be writing dreamer fanfic?) I was just exaggerating. Honestly...I wasn't even thinking of the tension at the end of the year either. My mind was actually focusing on the EotW-MitC chunk of time. They've put each other through a lot of pain, but I don't believe that either of them ever stopped loving the other...otherwise we wouldn't be where we are today on the show *grin*

And its' true...the group fell apart when Liz left...but she wouldn't have been in the group in the first place if it weren't for Max...that's why I say that they BOTH are the glue *grin* without their alliance it just falls apart into little twosomes and threesomes. Hopefully they'll remember that this season and we'll see some of the group dynamics coming back...I Think that's the single thing I missed most in Season 2.

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 22-Oct-2001 4:11:33 PM ]
posted on 23-Oct-2001 4:41:21 PM by Cookie2697
Scottie - ROTF! I'm really glad you were entertained by Jez and my conversation...we were OFF THE WALL that night! LOL! And I'm so glad you caught up! *grin* Yay! I understand completely about the board issues setting you back! Thanks for the fabulous feedback...

I'm working on Part 9 right now, so look for it in a few hours...

On a side note...I went to see Lifehouse last night...FABULOUS show. I think they're my biggest Roswell band, just because they've had 3 songs on the show, and I've used 4 or 5 in my fics...I can't get enough of them! Anyways...I'm all Lifehouse inspired, but I'm not sure if I could find a song for the fic by them. *sigh* So we'll see what happens...

Anyways...just to answer the questions...I have thought about the picture issue...I am going to address that later for sure.

And I know I'm making Maria and Isabel pretty darn hatable...but I really think that there's plenty of reason behind the way they're both acting. Catherine - you hit it on the nose about Isabel...she needs some purpose, and making out with Jesse in a convinience store isn't an option in my fic *grin*, and Maria...yes, she considered Max a friend...but then he crushed her best friend's heart by inpregnating an evil murdurous alien...and Maria has ALWAYS been really anti-Max hurting I could see her not being too into them getting back together.

However...there's always a way to move past that *evil grin* whahahah!

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 23-Oct-2001 4:46:24 PM ]
posted on 23-Oct-2001 5:10:21 PM by Cookie2697
MmmTabAScO originally wrote:
Cookie2697 originally wrote:
and Maria...yes, she considered Max a friend...but then he crushed her best friend's heart by inpregnating an evil murdurous alien...

oops, I forgot about that one little detail....*wink*



Yeah...that does kind of change things, huh?
posted on 23-Oct-2001 6:21:55 PM by Cookie2697
Part 9

Could you let down your hair
And be transparent for a while
Just a little while
See if you're human after all
Honesty is a hard attribute to find
When we all want to seem like we've got it all figured out
I may be the first to say that I don't have a clue
I don't have all the answers
And god I pretend like I do just
Trying to find my way
Trying to find my way the best that I know how

Well I haven't drawn it or figured out quite yet
But even if it takes my whole life
To get to where I need to be
And if I should fall to the bottom of the end
I'll be one step back to you
I'm trying to find my way
Trying to find my way
Oh, I'm trying to find my way
Trying to find my way


The slight clinking of silverware against plates was the only sound that filled the air, an uncomfortable silence consuming the three people sitting around the dinner table.

It had been the same way for weeks, ever since her memory had gone. Her parents would call her to dinner, and she would silently join them at the table. For a few minutes there would be nothing, until her parents started up the awkward questions and attempts at conversation.

They didn't know how to talk to her anymore…and she didn't know how to talk to them either.

"How are you feeling today, sweetie?" Nancy finally asked, turning her attention to her daughter.

"I feel fine, mom." Liz replied shortly. It was another thing that they didn’t seem to understand. She felt fine, physically. She wasn't sick. She just couldn't remember the past. It was as if they just expected her to magically feel better one day, and they couldn't seem to understand that it just wasn't that easy.

"Anything today?" Jeff asked curiously. It was the same questions every night, to the point where they didn't even bother asking the full question. They knew that Liz knew exactly what they wanted to know.

"No…nothing." She replied evenly.

Liz couldn't help wondering if they knew how much their questions just made her feel worse…like she was letting them down by not getting better. It was pressure without putting actual pressure on her, when all she really wanted was to be left alone.

The way Liz figured it, she had been looking for ways to jar her memory for weeks, and nothing was working. The hunt was beginning to exhaust her, and she was ready to give up, to move on with her life. Maybe this was the way it was meant to be. Maybe she wasn't meant to remember anything…and maybe she was and the time just hadn't come yet.

"So…do you think you're ready for tomorrow?" Jeff asked. "It's okay to be nervous about it, Lizzie."

"I'm…looking forward to it actually." Liz admitted.

The next day was the first day of her senior year of high school…her first day really out experiencing the world since that night in the woods. Since then, she spent almost all of her time cooped up in the house, trying to remember anything, or helping out in her parent's restaurant. They had told her that she didn't need to work, but she wanted to live as normally as possible. In much the same way, they had suggested that she do home schooling this year, but Liz had argued bitterly against it. She wanted to get out there and experience the life of her former self…and she had finally convinced her parents by reminding them that the key to her memory could be at school too.

"Just so you know, Lizzie, we talked to the principal and all of your teachers. They're all aware of your condition, so don't hesitate to go to them if you ever need anything…and don't hesitate to call us either."

Liz nodded. "I will…thanks. I'm really excited to get back to classes and stuff like that…a little nervous about all of the people I'm probably supposed to know…but I'll work through it. I need this."

"We know you do, sweetie." Nancy consoled. "And we'll be behind you every step of the way."

"And so will Maria." Jeff added in.

"Yeah I know." Liz replied. "She's going to pick me up tomorrow and show me where all of my classes are and all of that…I'd be lost without her right now."

"She's a good friend to you." Nancy smiled. "She always has been."

Liz nodded silently, knowing what would be coming next…some cute story about some time years before that they had observed her and Maria being such great friends…and Liz didn't want to hear it. Quickly she stacked her silverware on top of her plate. "Can I be excused?"

"Of course…get plenty of rest tonight. You have a big day tomorrow."

"Yeah…I know. I will."

------ ------ -------

The night air was still as two figured sneaked through the darkness towards the front entrance of West Roswell High. Crouching low, they paused by the front door, staring at the lock.

"Well, come on, open it." Michael pushed in frustration.

"I can't believe we're breaking in to the school." Max groaned in frustration, as he placed his hand over the lock. It glowed for a moment until the lock clicked open. Slowly opening the door the two friends slipped inside, shutting and locking the door behind them.

It had been weeks since he had woken up to Isabel's face in the woods, and still nothing had changed in Max's situation. He was still only a shell of who he used to be…and regardless of how many times he tried to break through the lock on his memories, nothing ever came of it. So the past few weeks had been spent redeveloping his alien powers, so that he could control them by the time he had to go back to the real world, and trying desperately to convince his parents that there was nothing wrong with him.

But now school was starting again…the true test of how long Max could hold on to the lie that he knew who he was. Everything would change the next morning.

"Why are we doing this again?" Max asked, tapping his foot in irritation, as Michael pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket.

"I told you, Maxwell…we can't let anyone find out about your…problem. So I'm going to make sure you know every inch of this school before tomorrow. If you can't find your way around as a Senior, it will be all over."

Max nodded stiffly. "Okay…lets do this."

They wandered the hallways, Michael pointing out all of the small, obscurities that Max needed to remember, explaining every wing of the school to him, pointing out the gym and the locker rooms, the bathrooms, the cafeteria, the quad, the back field…before he finally turned to Max's schedule and showed him each of his classrooms.

It was midway through the tour when Max found himself peeking through a classroom door, staring at the interior longingly, when he really began to feel it inside…that something was going to happen the next day at school to change him irrevocably.

"Yeah…that's the biology lab, for your third period AP Biology class." Michael explained, but Max was completely lost in the image of the classroom. "Maxwell? Max…it's not that exciting…let's go."

Hesitantly, Max pulled back, and turned to meet Michael's curious gaze.

"What's going on, Max?"

"I don't know…I just looked in there, and I don't know…I was drawn to it. Is there any reason that biology class might be important to me?"

Michael froze. He knew exactly why Max would be drawn to biology class…Liz was his lab partner. Michael wanted nothing more than to tell Max everything about his relationship with Liz at that moment…but Isabel had made him promise not to say anything. She insisted that Max didn't need the confusion of Liz Parker added in to everything else that he was going through.

But the problem was there were things that Isabel didn't know… Michael had tried to tell Isabel about Liz's situation…Maria had constantly kept him updated, but the moment Liz's name was mentioned, Isabel would shut down.

It made no sense to Michael…and Maria was exactly the same. He was caught between them, and his own knowledge that their situations were probably connected, and they could probably help each other.

Sighing, Michael finally answered a hesitant. "I don' t know. Come on, your next class is British Literature…on the English wing."

Max glanced back at the biology room one more time, before following Michael down the hallway.

Suddenly there was a slight bounce in his step…he had a feeling that the first day of school would be an amazing day.

posted on 24-Oct-2001 7:40:44 PM by Cookie2697
Soooo....who wants a new part? OOH! I Do!! LOL! I had this ready to post last night, but alas...the board was issuey, so I saved it for today...hope y'all enjoy *grin*

Btw...Burgandy, was it you that commented on Trying? That was actually mostly inspired by the Lifehouse show...they did the most incredible version of Trying in took my breath away. Jason Wade TOTALLY acapella opening the song, just his voice totally clear, perfect was unbelievably beautiful...and it always helps when it fits the part *grin*

Part 10

Cutting through the darkest night in my two headlights
Trying to keep it clear, but I'm losing it here to the twilight
There's a dead end to my left, there's a burning bush to my right
You aren't in sight, you aren't in sight

Do you want me, like I want you?
Or am I standing still, beneath the darkened sky?
Or am I standing still, with the scenery flying by?
Or am I standing still, out of the corner of my eye?
Was that you passing me by?

Do you need me, like I need you?
Or am I standing still, beneath the darkened sky?
Or am I standing still, with the scenery flying by?
Or am I standing still, out of the corner of my eye?
Was that you passing me by?


Liz's heart pounded in anticipation as she sat in the passenger seat of the jetta, staring up at the front of the school.

"Are you ready for this, babe?" Maria asked her friend, studying her carefully.

"Yeah…I am." Liz replied a little too lightly, causing Maria to smirk at her friend.

"Come on, Liz…it's okay. How are you really feeling?"

Liz turned to look at her friend, smiling softly.

"How do you always know exactly when I'm nervous?"

"Because you're my best friend…now spill, girl…what's up?"

"I'm just…I don't know. I have this feeling, like something is going to happen to me today. I'm not sure what, though."

"What could possibly happen to you?" Maria asked with a laugh, giving her friend a playful push. "Now come on, girl. Let's go in there and show the school how strong you are."

Following her friend's lead, Liz slung her backpack over her shoulder as she climbed out of the jetta. Liz froze, staring up at the school nervously while Maria fussed over the jetta, making sure it was locked, before linking elbows with Liz and leading her towards the front of the school.

Liz was in full scientist mode as she entered the school, carefully studying her surroundings. Littering the hallway was clique after clique of friends, standing in a tight knit circle talking intimately among themselves…although more than one set of eyes turned to stare at her as she walked in…it appeared that her story had gotten around.

The thing that bothered Liz the most was the feeling of being surrounded by complete and total strangers. She thought she'd be used to it by now…but she had only experienced it in small doses. Now she was standing among hundreds of unfamiliar faces. Here at school, the only faces she knew were the ones that Maria had introduced her to…Maria's boyfriend Michael, Kyle Valenti…that was about it.

"Hey Maria, is that Michael over there?" Liz asked, pointing to where he stood with another guy far down the hallway.

Maria glanced to where Liz pointed, and Liz was surprised when Maria's face hardened. "Yeah…we'll talk to him later though." Maria tried to turn Liz down a side hallway…but she didn't move quite fast enough.

The guy standing with Michael turned and glanced in her direction, and suddenly Liz's heart jumped. He took her breath away…he was tall, dark, handsome…and in the brief second that their eyes met, Liz felt her whole world spin.

There was something about his eyes…they spoke volumes with just a single glance…there was a sadness in them, one that Liz mirrored in her own heart…and what struck Liz as the most odd…there was a familiarity…a familiarity that she hadn't felt with anyone else she had met over the past few weeks.

Suddenly Liz felt an overwhelming need to find out all there was to know about her tall, dark, handsome friend of Michael's.

"Maria…who's that guy with Michael?" Liz asked insistently, stopping her friend in her path.

Maria's eyes widened at Liz's question. "Why do you ask?"

"Just curious…who is he?"

"Liz…you don't want to be curious about him, trust me."

Liz stared at Maria in surprise. It was the first time her friend had avoided answering a question of Liz's. Usually people were beyond willing to answer anything she wanted to know, hoping to jar a memory or something.

"Why don't I want to know him?" Liz wondered. "He's a friend of Michael's so he can't be that bad. Why don't you just tell me his name?"

"His name is Max Evans." Maria sighed. "And he's scum, Liz. The worst kind of guy…the kind of guy you don't want to get involved with…trust me. Hey, here's your first period." Maria announced, trying to change the subject. "Do you want me to come in with you?"

"No…that's okay." Liz insisted. "Go to your own class…I'll be fine. My parents have talked to the school already."

"Okay…well I'll see you later."

"Bye Maria."

Liz pushed open the door to the classroom, and stepped inside, suddenly finding herself surrounded by a whirlwind of activity as her teacher instantly approached her.

"Liz Parker? Hi, I'm Mrs. McLaughlin."

"Hi." Liz greeted softly.

"They updated me on your situation…I was your US History teacher last semester as well, but you probably don't know that. You've always been such a joy to have in class, so I just want you to know that if you need anything, any extra help, don't hesitate to ask. I'll do whatever I can to help you through all that you're going through right now."

"Uh…thanks." Liz replied shyly. "What I really want though is to just be treated normal. I've been trying to get my memory back for weeks now, and nothing is happening…so I'm just trying to accept the fact that this could be permanent and move on with my life."

"Oh, all right. Whatever you want, Liz."

"Thanks…I'm just going to…" Liz gestured towards a desk and took a seat, watching and waiting as the rest of the students filed in and took their seats…many avoiding her like the plague. It didn't really bother her though. If they didn't care enough to even talk to her, then they probably weren't even her friends.

Sighing, Liz's eyes glanced towards the clock, waiting as the time began to slowly pass, her thoughts drifting to the mysterious, dark-haired 'scum' she saw in the hallway, and wondering if she would see him again today. She had only seen him for a second, and already he consumed all of her thoughts.

----------- ---------- -----------

Max grinned at Michael as he went off on some story about Maria's latest quirk. Michael was always talking about his girlfriend like that, like she was the biggest pain in the ass in the world…but Max couldn't help noticing the glow in Michael's eyes as he complained about her, knowing how much good she must be doing for his friend.

Max hadn't gotten to meet Maria yet, but he was hoping to sometime today at school…see if she was every bit as amusing as Michael's stories about her were.

As Michael spoke, Max glanced around him, studying the groups of students around them, as he leaned back against the lockers.

So far Max thought he was putting on a stellar performance of acting normal. It wasn't too hard to do, Max had already discovered. Because of his secret, acting normal meant being quiet and pensive…and that was already how he felt like acting, since he was so lost inside of himself.

Suddenly Max froze, as his eyes met those of a girl turning down a side hallway. The world seemed to go into slow motion, as for those few, brief seconds, the rest of the world disappeared, and there was nothing, except this tiny, dark-haired girl and him.

There was something about her…something that Max couldn't quite place his finger on. It was like he was supposed to know who she was, that whoever she was, she was the most important person in the world, the one thing he had been missing all of these weeks. He felt an overwhelming anger inside of himself for not knowing who she was…and a desperation to find out.

Quickly, before the moment was gone, Max grabbed Michael's arm and pointed to the two girls walking away.

"Michael…who is that girl."

Michael looked at him curiously, and followed his gaze to where Liz and Maria were disappearing around the corner, before breaking out into a huge grin of amusement.

"I can't believe you." Michael chuckled.

"What?" Max asked innocently. "I just want to know who that is."

"I just can't believe that out of every single unfamiliar face in this hallway, you picked out her face."

"Whose face?" Max asked again, getting frustrated.

"Liz Parker." Michael answered with a chuckle, before patting Max on the shoulder. "Go to class, Maxwell."

Max sighed and watched Michael turn and head off into the crowd of students, before he turned and headed on the path to his first class that he had memorized the night before.

But even as he went through his carefully planned out movements to his first class, sitting down in the back corner, and slouching down to avoid notice…his mind was somewhere else completely.

His mind was completely wrapped up in the mysterious brunette from the hallway, and praying that he could see her later…even if he had no idea how he should act around her.

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 24-Oct-2001 8:13:54 PM ]
posted on 25-Oct-2001 12:33:09 PM by Cookie2697
Hey y'all!!

Thanks for the fantastic feedback! I always appreciate it SOOOOO much!

Well...I just spent an hour sitting and NOT listening to my lecture and writing Part 11 instead...look for it later this afternoon once I'm home and it's all typed and everything. Once I get home it's priority one.

*sigh* As for Maria and Isabel...I haven't decided exactly how I'm going to handle it. I don't plan on any ass kicking in the near future, because I'm non-confrontational, unless there are gerbils or other rodents involved.

However I definitely see some coldness and serious rebelling coming from Max and Liz in the very near future (which doesn't quite start in Part 11, but will be soon!)

Thanks again!
posted on 25-Oct-2001 12:48:29 PM by Cookie2697
Don't worry...I in no way intend for M/L to go up to their respective friend/protective person and give them a big hug and say thank you...there will be's just a matter of things getting to that point first *grin*
posted on 25-Oct-2001 1:21:07 PM by Cookie2697
You know what Scottie? I saw Lifehouse for the first time with MB20 and Everclear too, and their preformance was so fabulous that it left me starving for more...that was why I jumped and got tickets so quickly for this show! I counted when I saw them the first time...they only played 6 songs...Cling and Clatter, Sick Cycle Carousel, (1 that I can't remember), Everything, Quasimodo, and Hanging By a Moment. And that tells you how much I LOOOOVED That preformance if I can remember that order! LOL! I agree though...they blew away Everclear...MB20 was's a throw up for me, because I was desperate to see MB20 again after that show fact...I the end of September! LOL!

Anyways....yes. They're amazing. I would see them anytime, anyplace if I had the option!

Thanks for the fantastic feedback...more later again... (still not home yet...)
posted on 25-Oct-2001 8:34:54 PM by Cookie2697
Here ya go!
I finished it about 3 hours ago, but darned board issues...grrrr... it's all good though *grin* Let me know what you think!

Part 11

It doesn't mean much
It doesn't mean anything at all
The life I've left behind me
Is a cold room
I've crossed the last line
From where I can't return
Where every step I took in faith
Betrayed me
And led me from my home

And sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give

You take me in
No questions asked
You strip away the ugliness
That surrounds me
Are you an angel
Am I already that gone
I only hope
That I won't disappoint you
When I'm down here
On my knees

And sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give

Liz grinned softly to herself, as she walked into the biology lab, pausing just inside the door, and taking a deep breath, savoring the scent of the chemicals in the room.

"Liz Parker." A voice stated in dry amusement, interrupting her moment. "It's nice to see you still have an appreciation for science."

Liz opened her eyes and studied the teacher before her. "Mr. Seligman?" She asked, her mind drifting back to the names she memorized from her schedule that morning.

He smirked briefly at her before continuing. "I hope you know that my expectations of you in this class will not be effected by your current condition. I still expect you to work hard for your grade in this class…possibly harder than normal to keep up."

"I understand." Liz replied softly. "And I intend to."

"Good…I'd expect nothing less of you. Now what have you been told about the advanced placement science program at this school?"

"Well…not too much really, except that I'm in it."

"It's a four year program, started when you're freshmen. You enroll in the program at that time, are assigned a lab partner, and you and your partner are to work together for the duration of your high school science career, as you probably would if you were actually in the science field. We placed you together back then based on grades, personalities, and who we thought might work well and support each other well."

"Okay." Liz replied easily. "So who is my partner?"

"Middle table on the left." Mr. Seligman directed. "Max Evans."

Liz's eyes widened before the name even left her teacher's mouth. Max Evans…the guy from the hallway…the guy that after once glance completely intrigued her, completely took up residence in her head…the guy who Maria already swore was no good for her. Turning around, Liz froze in her spot as for the second time that morning her eyes met Max Evans'. Their gazes locked, and he smiled shyly at her.

Liz felt her mouth go dry at the small gesture, but it also worked. Her nervousness eased, Liz summoned her courage, her heart pounding as she slowly crossed the distance between her and the mystery man who already consumed her thoughts…and she couldn't help wondering if he had any idea how strong of an effect he had on her…both physically and emotionally. Already she couldn't ignore the undeniable physical attraction she felt to Max Evans…but it was more than that.

She knew him.

It was completely ridiculous. Liz had no memory of ever knowing Max Evans…she knew absolutely nothing about him other than his name and Maria's declaration that he was scum.

But somehow, Liz knew in her heart that he wasn't scum.

Her heart knew he was better than that.

----- ----- ----- -----

Max died when she walked into the room…he died and went to heaven, it was as simple as that.

All morning he hadn't been able to get her face out of his head…which was difficult considering that he had only seen her face once, briefly in his memory.

She was like a drug, plain and simple…the most agonizingly addictive drug in existence. Max had only had one tiny dosage, and now he wanted so much more…like some sort of Liz Parker junkie.

His eyes were glued to the back of her head the whole time she talked to the teacher. Max took advantage of the time to memorize everything he could about her…how perfectly her hair fell, how beautifully it shined…how tiny and vulnerable she looked…and how he felt this overwhelming urge to protect her in any way necessary.

And then he almost choked when she turned around and looked right at him. Their eyes locked, and he lost himself in the warmth and love he found in her beautiful dark orbs.

But then Max found himself studying her gaze, and he realized that she looked shy, nervous…and that protectiveness deep in his heart surged forward again. Desperate to set her at ease, Max softly smiled at her.

It was all he could do to keep himself from falling off his stool when she smiled brightly back at him…and then started walking towards him.

"Hi." Liz greeted him shyly as she sat down beside him, putting down her backpack and taking out her notebook, as she settled in for the period. "I'm Liz Parker." She introduced herself, before giggling nervously. "But you probably already know that…sorry."

"It's okay…Max Evans." He replied with a smile.

Max felt on the top of the world, as she licked her lips, studying him nervously, knowing that he was the center of her world for at least these few seconds.

"Listen, Max. I know you probably have heard all about my condition…everyone around here seems to know. Mr. Seligman just told me that we've been lab partners since we were freshmen…anyway, I just don't want this to be weird just because of me."

Max stared at her blankly for a moment, wondering if there was something he was supposed to know that he couldn’t remember.

Finally he shrugged shyly. "Okay, you lost me from the start there. Remind me again? What's your condition?"

"Memory loss…amnesia."

Max froze at her simple answer…and felt his head begin to spin.

"You're kidding." He mumbled, staring at her in amazement.

"I wish I was." Liz sighed. "You have no idea how frustrating and frightening it is…to see people around you and know that they know you, and you're supposed to know them, but when you try there's just nothing there."

"And to know nothing about yourself…" Max murmured sadly.

Liz's eyes widened in surprise at his response. "Yes…to loose all your life experience and to know it's up there somewhere in my head, but I just can't get to it."

Max stared at her in wonder, barely noticing as Mr. Seligman called the class to order and started lecturing.

All Max knew in that moment was that Liz Parker was the one person who understood exactly what he was going through…because she was going through it too.

Michael and Isabel were constantly putting pressure on him…if he couldn't remember the person he used to be, it just didn't matter. He still had to act like he was that person…he still had to be that person, so that no one would find out about his condition.

Neither of them ever stopped to think about what he was going through in the process…but Liz knew.

And all Max could think about was how much he wanted to sit down with her and talk to her about everything.

---- ----- ----- -----

Max sighed unhappily when the bell rang, signaling the end of class. He could have sat there all day, soaking in Liz Parker's presence, sneaking glances at her…it was the first time since that day in the woods that Max had felt totally comfortable.

And now he just wasn't ready for the period to end.

He didn't have a choice in the matter though, so silently he and Liz began to pack up their backpacks.

Liz turned to head for the classroom's door, before Max stopped her with a soft: "Liz…wait."

Liz instantly paused in her path, turning back and smiling at him.

"I was just wondering if maybe I could see you later?" Max asked nervously. "Are you busy after school?"

"Yeah, actually I am." Liz replied reluctantly.

"Oh." Max's face dropped.

"I have to work." She explained carefully. "I waitress at my parent's restaurant…the Crashdown."

"Oh…right." Max sighed, turning for the door.

"Wait, Max!" Liz exclaimed. "I'd like to...but I just have to work. If you want, you could come to the Crashdown…if you sat in my section then I'd have to talk to you, you know…to take your orders and stuff."

"Yeah…of course." Max grinned. "So…maybe I'll see you later."

"Later." Liz nodded with a smile. "Bye Max."

"Bye Liz."

posted on 27-Oct-2001 11:30:09 PM by Cookie2697
Part 12

You know it only breaks my heart
To see you standing in the dark alone
Waiting there for me to come back

If it's coming over you
Like it's coming over me
I'm crashing like a tidal wave
That drags me out to the sea
And I want to be with you
And you want to be with me
I'm crashing like a tidal wave
And I don't want to be

"Michael!" Max greeted his friend in an impatient voice, pulling him over to the side of the hallway.

"Hey Maxwell." Michael replied, giving him a strange look like he was insane for being so rushed to see him for lunch. "What's up?"

"Michael…I need to know anything you can tell me about Liz Parker." Max pleaded, getting straight to the point.

"Definitely the same old Max Evans." Michael laughed, slapping Max on the shoulder in amusement.

"What?" Max asked, confused by his friend's reaction.

"You've always been obsessed with Liz, Max…ever since we were kids. I should have known it had something to do with her the moment you walked up…nothing's changed at all." Michael passed Max an evil grin. "So what did she do the first day of school to sweep you off your feet?"

Max sighed dreamily, leaning back against a locker.

"She's amazing, Michael."

"Yeah, I know. You've told me a million times, even if you can't remember it." Michael interrupted. "So what happened this time?"

"I met her in biology class…she's my lab partner. We only got to talk for a few minutes because of the lecture and all…but I think we made a real connection in those moments."

Michael nodded and gestured for him to continue.

"She knows what I'm going through, Michael." Max pressed, meeting Michael's eyes desperately. "She's going through it too. No one else understands…I need to be able to talk to her about it."

Michael hesitated, studying his feet as he replied. "What makes you think that you could trust her Max…you know if she said anything to just one person…"

"I know…it's dangerous. If anyone found out about my condition, then they could find out about what I am, and then all of our lives would be over…I know all of that Michael. But I can't help it. Something tells me that I can talk to her, that she'll understand…that she'll accept me. I don't know why…but I just know."

Michael took a deep breath, studying Max's reaction carefully before finally speaking his mind.

"Listen, Maxwell. I'll tell you this, and if you ever tell Isabel or Maria I said this, they'll kill me…so it's just between us. Liz is good for you. I didn't always think so, but I've seen the way you both get when you're not together. You guys deserve a chance…and I want to give you that chance."

Michael hesitated, trying to find the right words for the images in his mind before continuing.

"When you and Liz are together…you two glow. Anyone passing by can see just how connected you are…it's just plain as day. You and Liz are right for each other…and you deserve that chance together."

"If Liz and I are so right for each other, then why haven't we seen each other before today?" Max asked in frustration.

Michael sighed. "You're getting into complicated territory now, Max. I think that's something you have to find out for yourself. But you deserve the chance to find out…so I say go to her, Maxwell. Talk to her…tell her whatever you want to tell her, and then we'll deal with the consequences later. I don't know…maybe you two can help each other find regain your memories."

"Thank you Michael." Max responded genuinely, before pausing and trying to sort out everything that Michael had just told him. "I think…I need some time to process some stuff…I'll see you later?"

"Yeah…of course." Michael replied. "I'm just going to go find Maria…I haven't seen much of her today."

Michael turned and walked away, leaving Max standing there alone, shaking his head, finding himself if anything, more confused than before talking to his friend.

He and Liz had something…Michael admitted that. But what Michael wasn't saying was that something bad had happened between them…something even Michael didn't want to talk about…and something that obviously left Isabel and Maria very against him and Liz having anything to do with each other…so what was it?

----- ------ ------

"Maria." Michael greeted his girlfriend gruffly, in typical Michael fashion, as he approached where Maria and Liz sat eating lunch in the middle of the quad. "Hey Liz."

"Hey Michael." Maria grinned at her boyfriend.

"Hey…sit down and join us!" Liz suggested warmly. Michael was one of the few people she felt comfortable around after working with him all summer at the Crashdown.

"Thanks." Michael replied, scratching his head awkwardly. "But actually I was just hoping to steal Maria from you for a minute." Turning to his girlfriend he replied insistently. "I need to talk to you…it's important."

"Okay…chill, spaceboy…I think Liz can spare me for a minute." Maria laughed, turning to Liz she announced. "I'll be right back."

Michael took Maria by the hand and lead her to an empty corner of the quad, so that they were out of earshot of everyone else around. Taking a deep breath, he met her eyes seriously.

"Maria…I need your help with something."

"Of course…all you need to do is ask!" Maria replied instantly. "What's up? It doesn't have anything to do with my car, does it?"

"No…actually it's about work this afternoon. Liz invited Max to come by the Crashdown today."

"WHAAAAAAT????" Maria screeched. "Does that girl not understand the meaning of the word scum?"

"Maria, calm down." Michael ordered. "They at least deserve the chance to make their own decisions here."

"She doesn't know what she's getting her self into." Maria argued.

"No, maybe not." Michael agreed. "But she does know what she wants, and right now it's to get to know Max better. They deserve that chance Maria."

"I don't want her to get hurt again…Max killed her this past year." Maria protested softly.

"I know that Maria…and I'll bet that even deep down Liz knows that…but she's feeling a pull to him right now…and he's feeling the same pull back."

"They've always been connected." Maria objected.

"Yes…and although this does appear to be their normal connection from the outside, have you ever stopped to think what else could be lurking in there, Maria?"

Maria stared up at him cluelessly, unsure of where he was going with this.

"They could be the key to each other's memory, Maria." Michael sighed, running his hand through his hair, as he continued. "There's a reason that this is happening to both of them…they're in this together…and nothing that any of us have tried with either of them has worked so far…maybe because there's only one way for them to get their memories back…together."

Michael paused a long moment, searching Maria's eyes carefully, before finishing his thought.

"Maybe keeping them apart all of this time was the biggest mistake any of us have made."

They were silent for a long moment, while Maria pondered over everything Michael told her. She hesitated for a long time before finally responding.

"Fine…I don't like it, but your idea does have merit. I won't get in their way today."

posted on 28-Oct-2001 1:14:34 AM by Cookie2697

Yes...the Crashdown scene will be next!

I just needed to get Maria out of the way first *grin* Very important.
posted on 28-Oct-2001 6:22:43 PM by Cookie2697

I think I talked about Isabel's reasons in an earlier part...She's still on a "I killed Alex" guilt trip and has decided that human/alien relationships are all bad :( those aliens ever learn? *sigh*
Don't worry...she will *grin*
posted on 28-Oct-2001 9:20:11 PM by Cookie2697
Okay...I had SOOOO much fun writing this part this past...oh, hour and a half...I had NO IDEA what I was going to say when I started, except that I wanted it to be sweet...and then it just flowed! So I hope you're ready for some M/L sweetness! Enjoy! Hopefully I'll be able to work on 14 tomorrow afternoon, cool?

Part 13

Crazy how it feels tonight
Crazy how you make it all alright love
You crush me with the things you do
I do for you anything too
In this moment it feels so right

Lovely lady
I am at your feet
God I want you so badly
I wonder this
Could tomorrow be so wondrous

It's crazy I'm thinking
Just knowing that the world is round
Here I'm dancing on the ground
Am I right side up or upside down
Is this real or am I dreaming

Lovely lady I will treat you sweetly
Adore you
I mean you crush me
It's times like these
When my faith I feel
And I know how I love you

It's crazy I'm thinking
Just knowing that the world is round
Here I'm dancing on the ground
Am I right side up or upside down
Is it real or am I dreaming


It all started with the ringing of the bell hanging on the door of the Crashdown Café…the moment that changed things between Max and Liz all over again.

The Crashdown had always been a catalyst between them…it was always the place where everything started, or everything ended. Everything started the first time around with a gun going off in the Crashdown…with Liz getting shot, and Max being in the right place at the right time to heal her, to reveal his love to her. Their first kiss was on Liz's balcony above the Crashdown…their first breakup. And more recently, it was where Liz shattered Max's hopes…and later helped him put the pieces back together.

And today, it was the day where they would start over again…for what seemed like the hundredth time to those around them…but was new as an early morning sunrise to Max and Liz.

This time it started with the bell ringing, as Max walked into the café a mere five minutes into Liz's shift…he had stood there after school beside his car, running over his options in his head…go home, then go to the Crashdown…or go straight from school to the Crashdown. The decision hadn't been hard for him. He wanted to see Liz as soon as humanly possible. All afternoon he had felt like he couldn't breathe, after not seeing her…he couldn't wait to breathe again.

The bell rang, and Max walked in, his eyes attaching to Liz like a magnet…almost like instinct. He walked in, saw her, and without thinking twice about it, sat down in a side booth, facing the kitchen so that he could watch her as she moved around the room.

Liz froze at the sound of the bell…she didn't even have to turn around from where she stood at the kitchen window, talking to Michael…she just knew it was Max. She had no idea how she knew…she could just sense it…and instantly it was like she was on another planet, drinking in the feeling of his presence, a dreamy look sweeping across her face.

"Well what are you waiting for?" Michael chuckled. "Go take his order, Liz."

Liz grinned at him, taking a deep breath, and turning to make her way towards Max. He met her eyes nervously…and instantly Liz's heart began to pound in her chest, and she felt a little light headed.

How could he make her feel so out of control after only one day?

Determined not to over think things, Liz shook her head, clearing out all of the questions. With Max, she was just going to listen to her heart, follow her feelings, and go with whatever happened. Over thinking things just didn't seem to work, with her memory loss…it tended to just confuse her more.

"Hi." Liz greeted him with a shy smile. "I didn't expect to see you so soon…you came straight from school?"

"Yeah." Max replied sheepishly. "To tell you the truth, Liz…I couldn’t wait to see you again."

Liz blushed at his sweet words, wondering silently to herself if he was too good to be true.

"I'm glad you came." Liz replied softly, nervously studying her order book, almost afraid to meet his eyes again…because she knew she would loose herself in them.

"So…" Max started uncertainly. "Can you sit down for a minute?"

"I'd like to." Liz replied honestly. "But I really shouldn't. We just had the shift change, and I really can't leave Maria with all the customers."

"Oh…right. Work." Max mumbled…a little put out with himself for forgetting that simple fact. "What about after your shift ends? Do you want to go on a walk…talk a bit or something?"

"Yeah." Liz smiled shyly. "That would be really nice."

"Great." Max beamed. "It's a date."

"A date." Liz repeated. "Yeah." She fell silent, trying desperately not to jump up and down and scream in excitement. Refocusing her mind, she stared blankly at her order book for a long moment before remembering where they were. "Soooo…can I get you anything?" Liz asked, gesturing to the pad of paper in her hand.

"Oh…yeah. Umm…" Max mumbled uncertainly, pulling out the menu and quickly searching it for a long moment. "How about space fries and a cherry coke?"

"Okay…sounds good. I'll be back with your drink in a minute." Liz grinned, folding up her order book and heading to the counter.

Max's gaze lingered with her departing figure, until he got distracted by the face leaning out of the kitchen window. His brow furrowed in surprise at the sight of his best friend standing there.

When Liz came back a few moments later and placed his drink in front of him, Max turned to her curiously.

"Michael works here?" Max wondered.

"Yeah…he's one of the cooks." Liz replied, her eyes lifting in surprise. "You didn't know? I thought he was your best friend."

"Yeah…he is." Max muttered. "He told me he worked in a restaurant with his girlfriend, but he never mentioned that it was the same one as you."

"That's really weird." Liz agreed. "I wonder what that's about?"

"I don't know…but I'm going to definitely bug him about it later." Max sighed, his mind processing this new information and filing it away with the little that he had already picked up this afternoon. It was just another strange clue to whatever was going on behind the scenes. Isabel and Maria didn't want him and Liz meeting each other…and apparently Michael had gone along with it too…until today.

Max wondered just what had happened between he and Liz that turned everyone so against their friendship…or more than friendship.

But instantly he shook the dark thoughts out of his mind. The past was the past. Neither he nor Liz were the same people they were before…they didn't even remember whatever had happened. He shouldn't let it effect the present.

Especially when it was the one thing he wanted the most in the world.


Max expected the afternoon to be painfully slow, as he waited for Liz's shift to end…and he knew it would have been if he was at home waiting…but in reality, he savored every moment of the wait, sitting and watching as Liz smoothly danced her way around the restaurant, moving between the tables to her various customers, smiling to each and every one, treating them all kindly, attentively. Max marveled at her how genuine she was with each and every one…and his heart soared every time she looked his way, or managed to find her way to his table, be it for a refill or just a casual hello.

And when her shift finally ended, Max almost thought it came too soon, if it weren't for the fact that he was so thrilled to have her all to himself for a span of time.

She ran upstairs, quickly changed her clothes, and came down a few minutes later, grinning to Max before gesturing to the door of the restaurant. Sliding his jacket over his shoulders, Max followed Liz outside, and slowly they started strolling through town.

It was still early evening, but the town was quiet since it was a weeknight, and Max and Liz found themselves mostly alone as they crossed through the town, heading towards a local park.

For the most part they kept the conversation light, discussing school, and work, and their friends and family. Liz stayed clear of any awkward subjects on purpose…she was so comfortable with Max that she knew the moment she started, she would pour out all her fears to him…and she didn't want to burden him with the intensity of her situation.

Still…it would be so easy.

And he made it even easier when, he paused, and turned to her with concerned eyes, and asked her in a gentle voice the one question that made her stop and falter.

"Liz…how did you lose your memory?"

"I…I don't know." Liz hesitated, turning and looking up into Max's eyes in frustration. "I've gone over what I can remember so many times, but I can't figure it out…there's just so many unanswered questions. It was at the end of July…I was out in the woods…I don't know why, no one seems to know why. I woke up there alone one morning…apparently I had lost consciousness or something. Maria found me and took me home…I had no idea who she was at the time. Everything I know about myself from before comes from her and my parents. They tell me what they can…but it's like meaningless information to me. It means nothing."

"It must be really frustrating." Max sighed sadly.

"Yeah…it is." Liz mumbled. "Nothing is helping at all. I've been trying so hard to remember whatever I can…anything. I spent all of August asking them questions, listening to their stories…trying to find something, anything to jar my memories…but nothing is working…so I've stopped asking. I think they think that I'm not trying hard enough anymore…that I don't want to get better…but that's so far from the truth. I want to be better more than anything…but I can't keep searching for something that isn't there…I have to try to live the life I do have…you know?"

Liz met Max's sympathetic gaze…and couldn't help noticing a distant, pained look in his eyes. Her gaze faltered, reminding herself that she wasn't going to do this to him.

"I'm sorry Max." Liz mumbled. "I swore to myself that I wouldn't put this on anyone else…I don't know why I just told you all of that…I guess you're just easy to talk to…but it's my problem…not yours. I don't know why you're being so wonderful about listening…"

"Because I understand." Max murmured, searching out her gaze again, and meeting her eyes in determination.

"That's impossible." Liz cried out insecurely. "No one understands…it's like a curse."

"Liz…I understand…" Max insisted firmly, his eyes flashing brightly into her own. "…because the exact same thing happened to me. I lost my memory too."

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 28-Oct-2001 9:24:13 PM ]
posted on 28-Oct-2001 10:29:45 PM by Cookie2697

Catherine, you have no idea how much that makes me leap up and down in excitement, to think that someone sees San Francisco and thinks of MY fic! hee hee! That is soooooo cool!! ROTF!!!

I'm grinning like an idiot right now!! LOL!

So what school did you check out? Thinking of going to school in SF, eh? I wish you luck! That's awesome.

I'm going school hunting in LA soon...a lot of nervous excitement about it over here...I'm going to be on my own for the first time a year from now, in a totally new city! That's even crazier when you think I'm almost 21 and I haven't gotten out yet! ACK!
posted on 29-Oct-2001 12:16:38 AM by Cookie2697
I just wanted to say thanks for all the awesome feedback y'all!

I almost have the next part done...I wrote like crazy tonight apparently. I'm going to sleep on it...edit it a bit tomorrow afternoon and you should see it around 5pmish does that sound?

Thanks again...I'm really glad y'all are enjoying.
posted on 29-Oct-2001 9:39:02 AM by Cookie2697
Catherine -

I'm sooo glad you love SF so much! I love it too...sometimes I wish I was a city person so that I could live there...I suppose if something with LA goes wrong I could always transfer to SFSU...they have a good film department. My side issue there is that I can't stand being in the city all the time...gotta be near enough to the city where I can get there easily, but far enough where I'm not in it.

I think I'm going to miss SF when I go to LA! LOL! Going to have to come back for visits!
posted on 29-Oct-2001 6:36:56 PM by Cookie2697
dangling??? me???
*innocent grin*
now would I ever leave you dangling??

actually...look for the next part in an hour or two...I just got off work so I just need some time to edit and find a song...

btw...if anyone has any song suggestions or obsessions, I'm all ears! Sometimes it's hard to find the perfect one!
posted on 29-Oct-2001 8:19:50 PM by Cookie2697
AHHHH...I barely got this out! LOL! I just got a phone call as I was finishing "Come see Live in concert with me tonight...I'll pay for you!" How can I turn that down!
So I rushed to get this done for y'all...I hope you enjoy! Thanks for reading...running out the door! Bye! LOL!

Part 14

Too many voices it won't take long
Which one's right and which one's wrong
Yours is most likely to be misunderstood
Screaming in tongues at the top of my lungs
'Till I find you 'till you found me
Somehow I always knew that you would

And I am contemplating matters
All this cling and clatter
In my head what you said is ringing
Ringing faster
And it's all good if you would
Stop the world from making sense
And if I could just realize
It doesn't really matter

If I could touch the sound of silence now
You know I would if I knew how
To make these intentions come around
I'm hearing without listening
And believing every word
You are not saying
Speaking without a sound

And I am contemplating matters
All this cling and clatter
In my head what you said is ringing
Ringing faster
And it's all good if you would
Stop the world from making sense
And if I could just realize
It doesn't really matter

Liz's eyes widened in shock, as the last words she ever expected to hear flew straight out of Max Evan's mouth.

"You…you what?" Liz stammered, staring at him like he had grown a second head. "That's impossible…you have to be kidding me."

"I…I didn't want anyone to know." Max admitted sheepishly. "It's the exact opposite of you. I didn't tell the school…or anyone really. At school, only Michael knows. But…ever since talking to you in class today, I've been wanting to tell you, because I know that we're probably the only two people who understand each other right now."

"I can't believe this." Liz mumbled faintly. "I never thought that anyone else would ever…" Liz hesitated, her mind reeling with what he was saying. Max understood…Max knew…Max was going through it too. "How did it happen to you?" She asked faintly, trying to figure out exactly how this was possible.

"Well…that's the really weird part, Liz." Max explained. "It's exactly like you. On July 22nd I was out in Frazier Woods, and I woke up the next morning like this…my sister Isabel found me."

"July 22nd…that was the same day that it happened to me." Liz suddenly realized. "You don't think…could it be possible that we were out there together, Max?"

"I don't know." Max groaned, running his hand through his hair in frustration. "I have no idea, and it drives me crazy. I would love to be able to figure out what happened that night…but it's like a total blank to me. And what's killing me the most now is that Isabel and I didn't even think to look around and see if there was anyone else there too…I'll bet you were nearby. We've wasted so much time…"

"So you think…whatever is happening to us has to be connected, Max. What could have possibly caused this?"

"I don’t know." Max sighed. "I have no idea…but hopefully we'll be able to figure it out."

"We?" Liz smiled.

"Yeah…together." Max replied, searching her eyes nervously. "We have to look into this together, Liz…just you and me, no one else."

Liz nodded in agreement. "I'm okay with that."


"So where are we going to start?" Liz asked curiously.

"I have no idea." Max laughed. "I hadn't gotten that far in the plan yet. I was still stuck on the idea of spending a lot of time working with you."

Liz blushed shyly, studying her feet awkwardly. She knew it was possible that this kind of thing had happened between them before, but she couldn't help feeling a little bashful every time he said the amazing things that he said. He made her feel special in a way that she just wasn't used to…but she had a feeling she could get used to it…as long as it was from him.

"Maybe we should talk about it at lunch tomorrow?" Liz shyly suggested. "We could meet on the bleachers…talk about it more then."

"Sure." Max grinned. "That sounds great."

They walked back to the Crashdown in a comfortable silence, content with their newfound connection, and each other's presence.

It wasn't long before they found themselves standing in front of the Crashdown, their night coming to an end, much too soon for either of them.

"Well…" Liz sighed regretfully. "I guess this is goodnight."

"Yeah…I guess."

Liz paused briefly waiting for anything more from Max…so when he didn’t say anything, she reluctantly turned towards the door of the restaurant.

"Liz…wait!" He stopped her, an urgent tone in his voice.

Liz turned back to him, her eyes glowing happily. "Yes?"

"I just…I wanted to say thank you…for tonight. I haven't felt this good…well…ever in my memory. It was really, really nice. I wish it didn't have to end."

"Me too." Liz agreed sincerely.

Max crossed the distance to her in a single short stride, and wrapped his arms around her in a warm, tight hug.

Liz sighed, melting against him as he enveloped her completely in his embrace…it felt so familiar, so wonderful. Unable to resist, she breathed in the scent of him, where her face was buried in the crook of his neck, and felt herself getting lightheaded.

And that was when it happened…her mind slipped back to a time before, when she and Max had stood just like this, beneath the flashing lights of the Crashdown, wrapped up completely in each other. Max had been comforting her that night…holding her close, stroking her head comfortingly…she was crying…but even through her grief, she could feel how right it felt to be in his arms.

Liz blinked her eyes in shock, pulling away from Max quickly and staring up at him in confusion, before turning and rushing inside without another word to him.

Max watched her departure, his own eyes wide, as he tried desperately to regain control of his emotions…it was a memory flash…the first one he had experienced in over a month. And as he watched Liz disappear inside, he wondered if she had felt it too…the warmth and familiarity of their embrace…the incredible connection between them…and they were both obviously much younger in his flash. He wondered how much younger…how long he and Liz had been involved with each other? And if it had been a long while…then why the incredible effort to keep them apart?

posted on 30-Oct-2001 1:11:28 PM by Cookie2697
truelove - remember...Liz's journal is hidden pretty thoroughly...she has to find it eventually, but it may take some time...

Scottie - YES! They did play Time After Time at that show...I was all teary eyed 'cause it was so awesome. I went to see them a 2nd time in Sept, and I almost cried 'cause they DIDN'T play it again! *sniffles*

Thanks for all the awesome feedback y'all! I'm really glad you're enjoying it!
posted on 31-Oct-2001 6:47:05 PM by Cookie2697
Hey guys...

Well...I've got some good news and some bad news...

Start with the bad news...
It's probably going to be a few days before the next part...probably not until Sunday or Monday... I'm sorry...

But then there's the good news...being I have a damn good excuse for this...I'm going to Covina tomorrow! Good enough reason to not write? Yes? look for more after the weekend *grin*
posted on 5-Nov-2001 12:43:03 AM by Cookie2697
Hey all

Well...things have just not gone the way I wanted them to the last two days...I got back from Covina, and spent literally all night on Saturday sorting through my e-mail and sending out my Covina Report to people...which fun as it was translated to no writing time. And tonight I ended up having to go to a birthday dinner for a no writing time there either :(
So hopefully tomorrow night. I know just what's going to happen in the next's just a matter of getting it patience....and more will be soon.

Also...I know I'm getting a lot of requests for all my fics...and I feel really bad because I'm not working on anything but this...however this is the one that's coming most easily for me right now. I'm having a lot of issues with the next part of Twist of please be patient with may be a while. And as for Until The End of Time...I'm having some trouble with that too...however it's more of a priority than TOF right now, for reasons that I can't go in to yet...but lets just say that there's a project going on there!

So I just wanted to say that I'm trying and I'm really sorry that I can't make everyone happy :( Look for more of this one tomorrow hopefully! Thanks guys!

Woo hoo! My pics make me happy so I have to share! Thanks to Jez for helping me with rock!


[ edited 3 time(s), last at 5-Nov-2001 12:55:39 AM ]
posted on 5-Nov-2001 6:33:18 PM by Cookie2697
LOL! I'm glad you guys enjoyed the pics...god knows I LOVE them...I can't stop staring at them...and playing with the negatives at work...blowing them up, shrinking them down...LOL. I'm having fun with them.

Yes...Jason is DEFINITELY drool worthy now...he looks incredible...and I assure you, I couldn't think of much with his arm around me other than that his arm was around me! LOL!

If you guys want to read my Covina Report, e-mail me dreambehr⊕ and I'll forward it to you...I don't want to post it on the board because of spoilers and stuff...but I did start a slightly giddy thread on the Out Of This World Experiences board!

And btw...the spoilers are really mild...nothing TOO thorough. I Didn't see THAT much...other than the cast! LOL!
posted on 5-Nov-2001 6:37:01 PM by Cookie2697
Oops...forgot a few things:

Catherine -
To answer your question...yup, I drove. It takes about 6 hours or so...Mel and I drove down from Sac once in 5 1/2 hours...and I think we were going a steady 80mph with only 2 stops. It took me just about 6 hours from Danville to Covina...and I stopped 3 times...

And in case you couldn't tell...LOL...I'm off work writing time is looming in the near future *grin*
posted on 6-Nov-2001 1:24:38 AM by Cookie2697
Thanks for your patience y'all! I think this part is mostly transitional...but the next part is going to be very fun...I hope! I can't wait to write it tomorrow at least! LOL! Hope you enjoy...and as always you know I looooove feedback!

Thanks for reading!

Part 15

I recognize the way you make me feel
It's hard to think that you might not be real
I sense it now the water's getting deep
I try to wash the pain away from me

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know that makes me believe
I'm not alone

When I touch your hand
It's then I understand
The beauty that's within
It's now that we begin
You always light my way
I hope there never comes a day
No matter where I go
I always feel you so

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I catch my breath it's you I breathe
You're everything I know that makes me believe
I'm not alone


It was late, and Liz knew she should be in bed, since the next day was a school day, but she just couldn't get herself to crawl under the covers. Hours had passed since she had run from Max, and she had spent the entire time reliving her first memory flash, trying to figure out what it all meant.

Memory flash…it seemed such an understatement.

What Liz had experienced was more than just a memory flash. She didn't just see the moment in her head…she relived it… Liz could feel how she felt at that moment in Max's arms…it was almost as if she were transported to another time and place for those few seconds…and in retrospective she was left with so many questions, very few answers, and a weight of mixed up emotions anchoring down on her shoulders.

And yet she couldn't seem to channel it in any way.

Usually when she was feeling so emotionally mixed up and confused, she would head to her balcony, stare up at the stars, and feel at peace…but tonight it just wasn't working.

Liz stood, wrapping her blanket around her shoulders and hugging it tightly around her body as she paced back and forth across the short length of her balcony. There was a restless energy burning within her that just seemed to build as she sat letting her thoughts linger on the evening…and as each moment passed she felt a growing need to release it somehow.

Liz suddenly grinned in excitement, as she rushed to her bedroom window, stepping back into the room, and almost attacking her backpack with an overwhelming enthusiasm, as she searched out what she needed.

With a sigh of relief, she settled back down on the balcony a few minutes later, a pen and a bright, new notebook in her hand, as she slowly opened the cover and slid her fingers over the untouched page.

A peaceful smile spreading across her face, Liz began to write.


Wow…where do you even start when you need to pour your soul out? I guess I should start with this. I met someone today, and he managed to change my whole world in a mere moment…or should I say a series of mere moments…starting with the first time I saw him pass me in the hallway…to when I actually met him in Biology class…to the moment he walked into the Crashdown to see me tonight…to finally realizing that there was someone else out there who completely understood what I was going through.

And you'd think that would be enough right there to totally change everything…but that was just the beginning. Things truly changed when we said goodnight…when he…when he touched me for the first time, and I saw…the past. Our past.

With one touch, Max Evans managed to awaken feelings in me that I didn't even know I was capable of…he made me feel alive. He made me feel whole.

I should explain better…it's hard though. I've spent all night trying to put it in words in my head exactly what I felt in that one moment with Max Evans…and I can't quite describe it. It was like a familiarity that I haven't felt…well…basically ever in my short memory. The moment I saw him I knew that I was supposed to know him…and the moment I touched him I realized how important he is to me…both to my past, and to my future.

I believe that Max is the only person who can help me remember my past. Now it's just a matter of discovering what the key will unlock.


The night air was crisp, chilly…a hint at what was coming in the slowly nearing winter, and Max found himself pulling his black leather jacket tighter around himself, trying to keep warm long enough to clear his head.

Although who knew how long that would take…he had already been out for hours.

It suddenly occurred to Max as he lay back in the back seat of his car, staring up at the bright, distant stars, that he hadn't been home since before school that morning. Isabel was probably loosing her mind worrying about him…but she could wait. Max needed time to think…and a lot of it.

So much had happened…so much had changed, all through the course of one day, and it left Max's head spinning, full of as much confusion as wonder.

Liz Parker was like something out of his dreams. He had only known her for one day, but for some reason that one day seemed like a lifetime. Max couldn't imagine how he had lived the past few weeks without her…and similarly he knew he wouldn't be able to survive the next day without her. As it was it took some serious will power not to start his car and drive straight back to the Crashdown to see her.

And aside from his own needs and desires that were fueling his restless energy…Max also was worried…about her. When they said goodbye earlier…when he had the flash…she ran off so suddenly. Had she seen the flash too? Was it an actual memory flash, or was it an alien thing? Max had gotten flashes from a number of objects over the past few weeks…although most of them he didn't understand or even try to interpret. The flash with Liz was not only the first flash he had with a person, but also the first flash that made any sense to him.

And it made all the sense in the world to Max.

It spoke loud and clear that he and Liz were important to each other before, as well as now. He and Liz had been close.

That fact in and of itself arouse so many questions within Max. If they were so close, what had gone wrong? Why were Isabel and Maria so against them growing close again? A part of Max wanted to run straight home and interrogate Isabel, but caution stopped him. She had her reasons, and perhaps he needed to discover those on his own.

But as it was…he couldn't get Liz out of his head. She was everywhere…inside his mind, inside his heart, inside his soul.

He was already addicted…and he couldn't wait to get more of her.


She couldn't get to Biology class fast enough the next day…but somehow the moment she walked through the classroom, Liz froze at the sight of Max sitting calmly at their table. His eyes found her immediately, and they locked, the rest of the world melting away, as Liz lost herself in his eyes.

Reality returned when an irritated student yelled at her for blocking the doorway, and with an embarrassed blush, Liz made her way to Max's side. Class was quickly called to order, and Liz couldn't help noticing the frustration in Max's eyes, and disappointment that they couldn't talk. It eased her fears a bit to know that he was as eager to talk to her as she was to see him.

The class couldn't have gone any slower. It was a lecture class, and they were forced to take notes and participate in a discussion, leaving very little time for small talk. The moment class was dismissed though, Liz turned her attention immediately to Max.

"So..." Liz smiled shyly.

"So how are you doing?" Max asked curiously, searching her eyes with concern. "I was worried when you ran off so quickly last night."

"Yeah…I know. I'm sorry about that. It's just…well, I don't want to go into it right now, but I really need to talk to you. Could we maybe go somewhere after school? There's…a lot to say."

"Yeah." Max agreed. "There is a lot to say…but I don't want to wait. Do you want to go somewhere now? Get out of here…go on a drive…get away from everything and talk?"

Liz looked up in surprise at his daring suggestion, but instantly her heart melted, as she knew without a doubt that she didn't want to wait either.

"Okay…let's go."

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 6-Nov-2001 1:25:46 AM ]
posted on 6-Nov-2001 12:07:37 PM by Cookie2697
Thanks for the great feedback y'all!

Class was boring this morning, so I got about 3 pages in my notebook of the next part....once I get home on my computer I'll get it typed up...finish it off...and send it out *grin* Look for it mid-afternoon!
posted on 6-Nov-2001 4:49:57 PM by Cookie2697
Part 16

You've got your ball,
You've got your chain
Tied to me tight, tie me up again.
Who's got their claws
In you my friend?
Into your heart I'll beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock,
And sweet you roll
Lost for you, I'm so lost for you

Oh, and you come crash into me
And I come into you
And I come into you
In a boy's dream
In a boy's dream

Touch your lips just so I know
In your eyes, love, it glows so
I'm bare-boned and crazy... for you.

And if I've gone overboard
Then I'm begging you
To forgive me
In my haste
When I'm holding you so girl,
Close to me


"This is a strange place to bring me." Liz commented as she stepped out of the Chevelle, and breathed in the fresh scent of pine tingling through the afternoon air.

"Yeah…well I figured that Frazier Woods is the place where our connection really began…at least this time around." Max explained softly.

"Yeah…I guess you're right." Liz laughed, making her way around the car to walk beside Max as they headed away from the car and into the trees. "I haven't really been out here since that night."

"Yeah…me neither."

They strolled slowly through the woods, and Max couldn't help studying their surroundings. Frazier Woods was cool, peaceful, beautiful, with its dense pines, shading the couple from the warm desert sun. You almost couldn't even tell that they were in the middle of the desert…it was like pulling them into a completely different atmosphere. It was hard to believe that this was where all of their current problems had begun, when it felt like such a safe haven.

"Liz…about last night." Max started with a sigh, nervous to broach the subject even if he needed to know what happened. "I'm sorry if I did anything to make you uncomfortable…I didn't mean to make you run off the way you did."

"Oh, no Max!" Liz exclaimed. "Please don't think that! You didn't do anything wrong. You were perfect. It was me…" Liz's voice trailed off as she searched for the right words to explain what had happened.

"Last night, when we were saying goodnight, I had this weird moment…it was my first memory flash." Liz admitted. "It took me by surprise, that's all…I'm sorry I ran off…I was just in shock."

"A memory flash." Max mumbled. "What happened?"

"It was you and me, hugging like we were last night, only we were a lot younger."

"Oh my God." Max gaped, unable to hide his reaction. "You felt it too." He hesitated a moment before continuing. "You were crying…I hated seeing you cry. I needed to do something, anything to ease your pain/"

"You were the one person I needed at that moment." Liz breathed. "And you were there, just like I needed. I think it was the first time…it all felt so new in the flash."

Max nodded in agreement, while Liz gazed up at him in amazement for a long moment.

"I can't believe you felt it too." Liz marveled. "How is that possible?"

"Maybe whatever is going on here isn't just random occurrences. " Max theorized. "Maybe it's connected…everything you're going through and everything I'm going through. Maybe we were here together that night and this happened to both of us for a reason…"

"…and maybe we're the only people who can help each other remember our past." Liz finished for him.

"The only question is how." Max sighed.

"Well…I have a theory about that." Liz started, summoning her courage for the suggestion she was about to make. "Our first flash came the first time…the first time that we touched." Liz hesitantly explained. "Maybe if you…touch me again, we'll get another one."

Max couldn't hide the way his eyes darkened with desire at her suggestion…Liz's heart raced at the sight of it, as she anticipated his next move, which he readily gave, as he began to inch closer to her.

"You want me to touch you?" Max asked hoarsely, as he moved to stand before her, his eyes gazing down hungrily into Liz's own passionate orbs.

"Yes." Liz murmured, her heart racing.

"Okay." Max breathed.

They were so close…Liz's whole body was burning, electrified in anticipation of Max's next move. Where…how…what would happen? He was overwhelming all of her senses, surrounding her so completely, that Liz could barely comprehend the fact that he hadn't touched her yet.

When it finally came it was soft, gentle, as he snaked his hands towards her face, and softly cupped her cheek with one large, warm hand, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Liz sighed happily and leaned into his touch, just as his other hand made it's way to her face, lightly caressing her cheek before sliding it down to her jawline.

Trembling, Liz's eyes fluttered shut…right as it came…

"Maybe I can make the connection go the other way…so you can see, you know…that I'm still me."

Liz nodded, knowing the nervousness she felt in her heart was plastered across her face. Max wanted her to believe so much that everything was the same…but so much had changed. She didn't know who he was anymore…she was afraid of him…but at the same time she knew she didn't need to be, she knew she could trust him…and above all…she knew she wanted him to touch her.

As if mirroring her thoughts he spoke the words that made her heart race in anticipation.

"I have to touch you."

Slowly, he cupped her cheeks, touching her so gently, so tenderly, like he was trying to savor every moment. He looked deeply into her eyes with such love, such intensity, that it took Liz's breath away, right as the images started flashing across her mind.

She saw…Max…

For the first time she saw Max Evans…his heart, his soul…and it was the most incredible thing she had ever seen…and when she felt what he felt when he saw her it almost knocked Liz over with the intensity of it all.

He pulled away much too soon for Liz…and she still felt herself standing there in a daze as he asked her gently: "Did it work."

Liz could only nod…she couldn't find the words to say the one thing that her heart was screaming at her at that moment. She would never be able to be away from Max Evans again.

The flash faded away as Liz found herself back in reality, her mind reeling in confusion from the flash…it overwhelmed her mind, the intensity of the emotions…the flashes…she saw them in her head, but they made no sense.

The must have overwhelmed Max as much as her, because he didn't move away from her…instead moving closer and leaning his forehead down against hers, as he stared deeply into her eyes for a long moment…before the memories surged forward again.

Liz's emotions ran rampant as she turned and rushed away from Max, making up excuses of classes or homework or something…even as she said it she didn't know exactly what she was saying…she just knew that she needed to get out of there…as far from him as possible.

The things he was saying…they meant the impossible. But what he had done the day before was the impossible. If what Max was saying was true though…what was impossible anymore?

She didn't move quickly enough…he stopped her at the door, blocking her exit, as he stood painfully close to her, their faces mere inches apart.

"Liz…listen to me. You can't talk to anyone about this. Not your parents, not Maria. No one. You don't understand what'll happen if you do. Liz, please? Now my life is in your hands."

He freed her, allowing her to run from him, and she takes the opportunity, hurrying towards the women's bathroom. She needed time to process this on her own…to process what Max was…

Liz gasped and pulled away as the images began to fade from her mind. Taking a step backwards, she stared up at Max with wild eyes.

"Max…what was all of that…what did it all mean?" Liz asked frantically, her heart pounding harder at the pained expression in his eyes, as she knew without a doubt that whatever this was…he wasn't planning on telling her.

"Max…what are you?"

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 6-Nov-2001 4:58:31 PM ]
posted on 7-Nov-2001 9:48:49 AM by Cookie2697
Thanks for the great feedback y'all! I'm glad you're enjoying! I'll work on the next part this afternoon when I get off work...hopefully it will be up tonight!
posted on 8-Nov-2001 9:48:15 AM by Cookie2697
URGH! This was ready to post last fact Jez's bump was at my request so that I could find the thread easier...but the darned board wouldn't let me on!!! So here it is for you! I hope you enjoy... And please *whimper, beg* feedback helps soooooo much!

Part 17

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out
A way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Then I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

Run away with my heart
Run away with my hope
Run away with my love

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go
I'll go wherever you will go


Max froze at the question, and felt the blood drain from his face as he stared at Liz, fear open on his face. He wasn't supposed to tell anyone…his life depended on it. She would never love him if she knew what he was…

But it seemed from the flashes that she already knew once…

"Max…please." Liz pleaded in a gentler voice this time. She was quickly regaining control over her own emotions, but still was left with a lingering sense of confusion. "Max…I need to understand what I saw in those flashes…please, just tell me."

"What did you see?" Max asked in a distant voice.

Liz's heart clenched at his emotionless tone…he was already beginning to distance himself from her…she didn't know what she would do if she lost the one person she felt a true connection with since loosing her memory.

Liz took a deep breath and tried to push all of her fear out of her voice, making it as comforting as possible as she responded.

"In the first flash…I was so mixed up…I was afraid of you, but as afraid as I was I wanted you more than anything…I knew that even if I wasn't saying it. You wanted to show me that you hadn't changed to me…as if something had happened that would have changed everything. So you touched me and showed me…you showed me through memory flashes like the ones we've been having who you really are…and in doing so…I saw the most beautiful soul I have ever known."

Max's distant eyes flickered with emotion, but Liz continued before responding.

"I think the second flash was actually earlier than the first…because I didn't know any of this in that one. All I knew was fear and confusion…my guess is that you had just told me your secret. You were begging me not to tell anyone…you said your life depended on it." Liz paused, focusing her thoughts before continuing.

"The only thing that makes sense is that you have a secret, Max. A big secret…an impossible secret…about yourself. Somehow, I found out your secret, and it brought us together. Max…whatever it is, I already know…my heart already knows…my memory has just forgotten. You don't need to be afraid to tell me…I've already accepted it once. Please, Max…just tell me."

Liz was relieved to see Max relax a bit, as he let out the breath that she didn't know he had been holding.

"I…I've wanted to tell you since the first moment I saw you…in the hallway at school." Max mumbled shakily. "But I never thought I'd be able to…I never thought that it was possible that you had already known."

"Maybe you wanted to tell me because me knowing has been able to comfort you in the past." Liz suggested softly. "Maybe it helps you out to give you someone you can share with."

"Maybe." Max agreed.

Turning away from Liz, Max took a few steps away, running his hands through his hair nervously, as he tried to collect himself, pacing back and forth nervously. Liz waited patiently, silently, knowing it was possible that all Max needed was time. Eventually he turned back to her, gazing at her with serious eyes.

"Liz…you're sure?" Max asked softly. "This could change everything…how you see me, how you see the world…maybe even how you see yourself."

"I don't care." Liz stated bravely. "I need to know you, Max…all of you. If this will help us be close again, it's worth it."

Max nodded, smiling briefly, obviously pleased with her reaction, before his brow furrowed nervously again.

"Liz…you got it right when you asked me what I am. I'm…different, Liz…different from you, different from my parents, different from my family, from everyone around us."

"Different how?" Liz pushed gently, still waiting to hear whatever it was that would shock her so completely.

"Different in the sense that I'm…well…I'm not human, Liz. I think I was in the 1947 crash, Liz…I think…well I know actually…I'm an alien, Liz."

"An alien." Liz repeated. "You're an alien."

"Yes." Max confirmed again.

"Okay." Liz replied easily.

Max stared at her in surprise, waiting for further reaction. His eyes widened further when she met his gaze evenly and didn't freak out.

"You're not going to flip out, run away screaming…anything?" Max asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I told you I wouldn't." Liz laughed, grinning at him and lightening the heaviness of emotions that had seemed to overwhelm them. "Max…I knew it had to be something big…I was prepared for a huge shock. Plus…like I said before. My heart already knew…it was just really reminding myself. The moment you said it I knew it was true."

Liz's laughter warmed Max's heart, and suddenly it hit him smack in the face that Liz wasn't going to flip out…she had accepted him that quickly, that easily. Unable to hold it back any more, Max broke out into a huge grin…determined, he crossed the distance between himself and Liz in two short strides, pulling her quickly into a tight, warm embrace.

Nuzzling his face into her neck, Max sighed happily, breathing in the sweet scent of her hair.

"You're not going to freak out." He murmured happily, just as the flashes overtook their minds.

"Everyone we touch gets hurt in some way or another." Max cried sadly, as his eyes met those of the girl who had not only stolen his heart, but then broken it into a million pieces. After all that had happened between her, he had finally begun to let her go…and now she had come back…but Max knew deep inside that she was clinging to something that no longer was. He needed to let her go... "5 years from now, I don't want you to open your eyes and realize that...that you missed out. You're part of the group. You always will be. But you need to be allowed grow."

Liz felt her eyes stinging from the tears that were already promising to fall. She knew what this moment was…it was goodbye. The goodbye that she had never allowed them to have before now. The goodbye that her heart still didn't want.

Desperately needing to feel him one last time, Liz leaned towards him and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. She knew he needed it too when he fell into her embrace, nuzzling his face into her neck.

"Why can't you come with me?" Liz breathed softly, desperately longing to stay with him as much as she knew that it was time to let go.

"Because I can't." Max murmured into her shoulder, as he breathed in the familiar scent of her hair…just one of a million things he missed about Liz Parker. " But I'll be watching you, Liz Parker. Wherever you go...and I'll be here when you get back."

As the memory faded away, Max pulled back, squeezing his eyes shut, desperately trying to push away the pain in his heart that lingered from the flash. It was overwhelming…he didn't know pain like that was possible. It was heartache, longing, desire…all mixed with the need to let go.

"I'm…I'm sorry." Max stammered, opening his eyes, and gazing at Liz in shock. "I just wanted to touch you…I didn't think…I didn't meant to cause a flash."

"Yeah…we're going to have to be careful about that." Liz's own voice was faltering as well, and Max could tell the flash had shaken her as much as it had him.

"I…I've never felt so much pain." Max anguished, his eyes glazed over with unshed tears as he tried to process the flash. "I don't even know where it all came from. It overwhelmed me so much…but in the flash I was used to it…like I'd been living with it for so long that I had learned to ignore it. But it was still there…whatever it was…it was why I was letting you go. I think I was doing what I thought you wanted."

"I didn't though." Liz cried, her own heart overwhelmed from the emotion. "I wanted to be with you more than anything…but I wasn't letting myself. I don't know why…"

"We hurt each other." Max realized softly. "All that pain…all that horrible, horrible pain. We caused it all. That's why everyone is trying to keep us apart…Maria…Isabel… They love us so much that they don't want to see us hurt each other again."

"We won't let ourselves." Liz stubbornly insisted. "We can't stay apart just because we hurt each other once! If we want to be together we deserve the chance, Max. We can learn from our mistakes as we get our memories back." Liz reminded him, as she began to pace in front of him in determination.

"Just look at that flash we just had." She continued. "We were in so much pain, letting each other go, even though both of us still wanted to be together. We just have to ignore our minds sometimes…listen to our hearts. If they're still drawing us to each other than we must be doing something right!"

"I know." Max sighed. "I agree completely. I just wish that they would let us do this on our own. By keeping us apart they've actually slowed down the process of us regaining out memories. It was wrong of them."

"It was wrong of them." Liz agreed. "But they did do it because the love us…that deserves some justification. I'm going to talk to Maria about it…about us. She's just going to have to get used to the idea of us being together."

"Us…we're together?" Max asked hopefully, a boyish grin gracing his face.

Liz blushed shyly, realizing for the first time what she said.

"Well…we could be. If you want to that is." She stammered.

"I want to." Max replied simply.

Max took a step towards her, reaching to caress her cheek, when suddenly he froze about an inch away from her skin.

"What?" Liz asked, concerned by his reaction.

Max chuckled softly. "I don't think we need any more memory flashes right now…that last one was pretty harsh."

posted on 8-Nov-2001 8:37:21 PM by Cookie2697
Hey guys!

I just wanted to say thanks for the fabulous feedback, and welcome to any new excited me to hear from you! LOL!

Well...I'm just now starting Pt 18...spent today musing over Darkness and Light so it's taken a toll on Tangled Webs...I can't promise a part before tomorrow night...but I know what I'm doing for this part, so depending on how it goes...I may still get it done tonight...we'll see!

Thanks again! I really, really love hearing all your thoughts! You guys rock!
posted on 9-Nov-2001 9:47:19 AM by Cookie2697
Part 18

Find me here speak to me
I want to feel you I need to hear you
You are the light that's leading me
To the place, where I find peace again

You are the strength that keeps me walking
You are the hope that keeps me trusting
You are the light to my soul
You are my purpose
You're everything

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands you won't let me fall
You still my heart when you take my breath away.
Would you take me in take me deeper, now

And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this?

Cause you're all I want
You're all I need
You're everything,


She absolutely amazed him. It was as easy as that. Liz Parker was simply the most incredible person in existence. She was beautiful, open minded, accepting, loving, warm, friendly…there were a million different adjectives that Max could use to describe her…but none of them seemed quite enough to him as he stared at her in wonder and marvel.

Over the course of the afternoon, Max has sat beside Liz, talking intimately with her about anything and everything possible, no subject left unbreached. There were no more secrets between them since she found out about her alien heritage, and it felt freeing to know that he could be so open with her.

For a long while they talked about him, about his alien side…what he could do, what he knew about himself…and Liz's scientific fascination, her need to know all there was to know about him warmed Max's heart.

Max knew that they had known each other before…that their hearts were connected because of their previous relationship...but all the same, it was incredible how new this all was to him, like getting to know her for the very first time. Their hearts may know each other, but all the same…Liz was the most fascinating new aspect of Max's life.

His heart danced at the sound of her pleased giggle when she asked him to demonstrate his powers for her. For reasons unknown to Max, he grabbed a large, flat rock from the ground beside him, closed his fist around it, and rearranged the molecules, changing it into a single white rose…made out of stone.

Liz gasped in amazement at the sight of it, and then giggled happily as he presented it to her.

"Thank you, Max…they're my favorite." She grinned, fingering the smooth petals in amazement. "I'll keep it forever."

Much too soon for either of them, the afternoon sun began to fade into evening…and it wasn't long before Max knew he had to take Liz home before her parents began to worry.

Max slowly walked Liz back to the car, taking great pleasure in the little things, like opening the passenger door for her, and shutting it behind her before making his way to the driver's side.

The sunset had painted the sky a beautiful collage of reds and oranges, which stood out against the rock formations that jutted angrily out of the desert floor, creating a beautiful backdrop for Max and Liz as they sped down the desert highway towards town.

It wasn't long before they were sitting in the Chevelle in front of the Crashdown, staring dreamily into each other's eyes…neither wanting to be the first to say goodbye.

Finally Max sighed unhappily. He didn't want to start the relationship on a bad foot with Liz's parents, so he got out of the car, and crossed around to let Liz out. Unconsciously he took her hand as he helped her out of the car…barely able to realize what he did before he found himself experiencing another time and place…

The morning air was cool, chilly as Max and Liz sat in the jeep beside each other. He couldn't stop touching her, his hands on her face, her cheek, her jaw, as he kissed her thoroughly.

"Any flashes?" He asked her breathlessly as he pulled away, studying her face as he broke from his daze.

"No." Liz murmured. "You?"

"Don't think so." He grinned. Their sexual haze was slowly fading…their need for each other much less desperate since finding the orb…but still…he wanted her with a passion that almost knocked him over.

Liz held the orb in her hands, turning it and examining it as she softly asked, "Max...everything that we did, everything we felt...was it...was it all just about this...this thing? You know, we don't even know what it is."

"Yet." Max stated firmly, knowing for certain that they would find the answers. He turned and stepped out of the jeep, crossing in front of the car, his eyes never leaving Liz's the entire time. After all that had happened, all they had been through…he didn't want it to ever end. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so happy, so carefree. He wanted to relish in it forever.

"Max, was it ever just about us?" Liz suddenly asked, startling him with her uncertainties. " You and me? Because a person could feel like they just served their purpose. You know, like being used."

"Is that what you think?" Max asked in shock. He couldn't believe that she would think that…in fact, he wouldn't believe it. His face broke out in mock-seriousness as he continued. " Because you're not the only one who could worry about being used. I mean, some girls would give a lot to see themselves fly through outer space." He broke out in a full-fledged grin, pushing her buttons a little further. "You know, I'm sure it doesn't compare to other things you could be doing, like watching Kyle barf after a beer blast."

His own bravery almost surprised himself. He had Liz had been growing closer for months. They had talked about anything and everything. They had kissed…she had even seen him half-naked. But they hadn't flirted…not once. It was freeing, to feel that he could be so at ease with her. He had been wanting this for so long.

"I can't believe you just said that." Liz exploded in amusement, a huge entertained grin on her face as they crossed the street together towards the Crashdown.

"Why not?" Max wondered.

"Because it really happened." Liz laughed.

"You're kidding me." Max chuckled, barely believing his ears. The things that Liz had been through…she deserved so much better than that. Kyle must not have appreciated the good thing that he had.

"No. I swear. Last summer. It was a really hot night..." Liz started, but Max stopped her with a firm gesture.

"You know what? No, no...don't tell me."

"Okay, so what you're saying is that you saved me from a life of watching Kyle barf." Liz giggled, unwilling to let it go quite yet.

"Liz Parker...I don't think that was ever going to be your destiny." Max pressed, turning to face her, the light mood suddenly changed, as the moment became serious.

"No?" Liz asked him curiously.

"No." Max replied with certainty.

"Okay. Fine. If you know so much, then tell me, Max...what's my destiny?"

"I only know the part I'm hoping for." Max murmured, lacing his fingers through hers as they stood before the door to the Crashdown, preparing themselves for the fireworks they knew were coming.

Summoning both of their courage, Max pushed the door open, and side by side, completely connected like the strong fortress that they were, they stepped inside to face their parents.

"Where have you been!" Jeff exploded the moment they entered the room. "You've been gone all night! Explain yourselves, now." He ordered.

"We're….we're sorry." Liz fumbled, staring at her father like he was a complete stranger. She had never seen him so angry before.

"Jeff…calm down." Nancy insisted, trying to soothe her husband's fury. "Liz…sweetheart, we're very disappointed in you. Sneaking out is wrong in and of itself, but sneaking out and staying out all night is completely unacceptable."

Max spoke up bravely for them both, glancing at his own parents, before meeting Liz's father square in the eyes.

"We're sorry…we know that nothing we can say can really excuse our actions…but we missed each other and we wanted to spend some time together. It's my fault really. I came by last night and asked Liz to go out with me…I just wanted to see her. It wasn't her idea…I just pushed until she said yes. We went out to the desert to stargaze. We really didn't mean to stay out all night…that was an accident. We just fell asleep. We came home as soon as we woke up this morning. We didn't…do anything."

Max blinked, shaking his head as he returned to reality, his mind refocusing as he tried to separate the past from the present in his mind. His eyes were finally drawn back to Liz's face, who was staring up at him with a bright grin on her face.

"That one wasn't half bad." Liz mused happily. "I could deal with flashes like that more often."

"Me too." Max agreed…trying not to let his mind linger on the feeling of his lips devouring hers as they were in the flash…it had felt so real…even if he and Liz hadn't kissed.

Glancing down, Max suddenly realized that their hands were still connected…the flash had ended, but they were still touching without any consequences. He breathed a sigh of relief, with the newfound knowledge that the flashes only came the first time they touched…not if they lingered in contact.

Smiling happily, Max squeezed her hand tightly as he helped her out of the car, and walked her to the front door of the café. They stood there staring at each other for a long moment, their faces glowing from the flickering lights of the Crashdown sign, before with a sigh Liz whispered a soft goodnight, slipping her hand free, and disappearing through the double doors.



I can't even begin to express all that has happened today…to start with I've fallen hard…for Max. I already knew it yesterday, but today just proved it for me. It turns out that the flash from last night was shared…he felt it too… Apparently Max and I are the keys to each other's memories…every time we touch physically, we touch mentally too, and experience another incredible moment together.

I can't get enough of him…saying goodnight to him tonight was painfully hard. It took every ounce of willpower in me to walk away, because I already need him so desperately.

And we haven't even kissed yet.

"Liz…are you up there?"

His voice startled Liz from her thoughts, and her heart lurched for a moment, before with a pleased smile, she set down her notebook, and made her way to the edge of the balcony. Peeking over the edge, she saw Max standing there, staring up at her with a dreamy gaze.

"Hi." She greeted him happily."

"Hi." He grinned back. "Can I come up?"

"Yeah, sure!"

She watched as he gripped the bottom bars of the fire escape, easily pulling himself up the ladder.

"What's up?" Liz asked him easily, as he stood across from her staring at her with resolve.

"I couldn't sleep." Max admitted. "I couldn't get you out of my head…I just needed to see you one last time tonight."

"I'm glad you came." Liz breathed softly, her heart racing at his words.

"Me too…I just…Liz?" Max stumbled over his question, finally sighing and taking another step towards her with determination. "I need to…" He tried again, but his words failed…so instead of asking, he just acted, reaching towards her, and cupping her face with one hand, as he firmly brought his lips down to meet hers, taking Liz completely by surprise.

She reacted instantly, naturally, reaching up and wrapping her arms around his neck, sighing against his lips as she surrendered to his kiss…and the images that came rushing through her mind.

"I'd better go." Max's deep voice rumbled uncertainly.

"Why?" Liz asked him curiously…the only thing she could think to say other than begging him to stay.

"Because if I don't go right now, things are going to change." Max admitted, his eyes burning into Liz's.

She couldn't pull her eyes away from his as she asked in a dazed voice. "Change, how?"

Max smiled hesitantly before responding.

"I'm going to have to touch your hair...because it's so soft..." He breathed, reaching up and running one hand through the silky strands of hair that he had only dreamed of touching before tonight. "…and I'd have to tell you matter what we go through, it's all worthwhile for me because we're together." Max exclaimed.

Liz's breath caught in her throat at the determination in his gaze. As it was she could barely feel anything other than the gentle way that his hand ran through her hair…it was almost worshipful.

"And then?" Liz asked weakly.

"And then...I'd have to do this..." Max declared breathlessly, as he cupped her face, leaned in, and gently let his lips slide across her own. It was soft, brief…a new experience for him, and he pulled back, gazing into her eyes to make sure she was okay. Her eyes shined back into his with such passion, that he had no choice but to lean back in, capturing her lips more possessively this time, as he tenderly devoured her mouth with his own.

The images faded away from their mind's eye, but Max and Liz weren't distracted. Their attention was entirely focused on their present embrace, as Max held Liz close to him, refusing to let her go, his lips moving hungrily over her own.

Liz moaned his name against his lips, opening wide and giving him access to plunge his tongue inside her warm depths, tasting her, drinking it in as she responded with a sigh to his every thrust.

Their passion eventually slowed, as their kisses became more innocent again…until finally Max pulled his lips away, staring down into her eyes in amazement, as his hand stroked her silky hair.

"Wow." He murmured happily, before capturing her lips once again.

posted on 10-Nov-2001 7:19:55 PM by Cookie2697
Wow...I just have to say that all your feedback is so awesome it nearly knocked me off my feet....or at least it would have if I was standing, but since I'm sitting at the computer it just made me shake my head in amazement *big*

I want to respond to everyone...but I don't know if I can...but I'm going to try here...not something I normally do...but y'all inspired me! LOL!

Snowdove30, Jane, Believe in True Love (aka other Jane *grin*) - Hmmm...upcoming flashes of the gerbil and FMax.... Yes, its going to happen. Yes it's going to mix things up...but hopefully not TOO badly. To quote JK the man himself, there's nothing more boring than a happy couple. I think M/L are at their best when they're working through something together, whether it's problems between the two of them, or alien problems, or whatever. There always has to be a conflict at some point! Hopefully this one will be a good one...because there wouldn't be anything stopping them except their own pain and insecurities.

mpls muse, Jayne, Strawbehrry Shortcake, roswellluver - Glad you enjoyed the dreaminess... *dreamy sigh* That was my goal...I love reliving Season 1 too!

EmilyluvsRoswell - Thanks for reading! I'm so glad you're enjoying it. I really liked your description of M/L's relationship as a Roller Coaster of emotions...that's SO's definitely had it's ups and downs...which is why I'm doing the flashes so that they can find themselves being kind of thrown around on that rollercoaster!

AJK001 - Maria and Isabel...hmmmm...well stay tuned. I think I'm going to take care of all that fact I know I am...possibly even the next part...depending on what happens! LOL! I always wish I could say: "This is going to happen in the next part"...but sometimes I get away from myself...I start and then it takes a life of it we'll see!

Scottie - Of course I had to use Everything! It's MY song...although I broke my own of my goals for this fic was to NOT reuse songs from my other fics...but Everything is just necessary, right? LOL! As for the know they're on tour with Lifehouse right now, right? LOL! That's where I FIRST heard them...was opening for Lifehouse when I saw them a few weeks ago! The Calling was fantastic! I want to get their album too! As for picking the flash...that actually doesn't surprise me TOO much...What I'm trying to do is have them get flashes of situations similar to their present setting them up in the same physical position or the same mental state that they were in at a moment...does that make sense? I'm doing them at random a bit...but they're also planned out a bit too!

Scottie and Araxie HRH - Oh God...ready for a rant? LOL...this is something I've discussed in depth with so many people. Even more so than Max sleeping with Tess, or giving away all the answers from the start, or the bad plot lines from early Season 2, I think the BIGGEST MISTAKE JK has made was never concluding EotW...he created this huge incredible emotional build up, leaving us all at the edge of our seats waiting for it to happen, and then it never did. And the possibilities there were ENDLESS. Now...I love the guy to death...I'm probably one of the BIGGEST JK supporters out there...but that was just plain dumb of him!

Araxie HRH - LOL! Well...about Twist of Fate... It IS a high priority for me to eventually finish it...eventually being the key word there. I actually have the conclusion written...I have for about 6 months...but it is SO far from being finished...there's a lot more coming on that fic...Heat Wave...UFO Convention...TESS... LOL! We're still around 285 South and River Dog...and it's 150 pages at the moment!'s really my neverending fic!

narly21 - Will they be keeping their relationship a secret? No. hehe.

ChrissyP47 - Wow...thanks for the incredibly sweet words! Man...I'm feeling the warm fuzzies in the room *grin*

Burgandy, rollergal20, jeremiah, ladybug001 - I'm sooooo glad you're enjoying it! Thanks for reading and the great feedback!

WHEW...I believe I succeeded...if I forgot anyone...I'm sorry!!! And I owe you something a new part! LOL!

Speaking of the new part...I have a shameful admission. Last night I took the night off from writing...I needed a little breather...worked on my site a bit, watched a few movies...stuff like that...but I think I'm going to get back to it tonight...hopefully get the next part going *grin* I'm not sure when to look for it, ' isn't started yet. So we'll see how easy it comes...but possibly later tonight, maybe 8 or 9ish? Don't quote me on that though!

Thanks again!!!!


[ edited 1 time(s), last at 10-Nov-2001 7:22:58 PM ]
posted on 11-Nov-2001 12:10:17 AM by Cookie2697
Part 19

Everyday is a new day
I'm thankful for
Every breath I take
I won't take it for granted
So I learn from my mistakes
It's beyond my control
Sometimes it's best to let go
Whatever happens
In this lifetime
So I trust in love
You have given me
Peace of mind

I feel so alive
For the very first time
I can't deny you
I feel so alive
I feel so alive
For the very first time
And I think I can fly

Sunshine upon my face
A new song for me to sing
Tell the world
How I feel inside
Even though it might
Cost me everything
Now that I know this
So beyond, I can't hold this
I can never
Turn my back away
Now that I've seen you
I can never look away

I feel so alive
For the very first time
I can't deny you
I feel so alive
I feel so alive
For the very first time
And I think I can fly


Liz awoke the next morning practically glowing with happiness. She could feel it, like a warmth, deep inside of her, leaving her feeling giddy. The whole world seemed to be a brighter place, as she went through her morning routine, a smile lighting up her face. Even the simple things seemed outrageously wonderful this morning, as her shower was the perfect temperature, her hair dried perfectly into shape, her clothes looked adorable on her as she stood in front of the mirror applying her makeup.

She wanted to look perfect today…she wanted to knock her boyfriend off his feet when he saw her walk into the biology lab.

Satisfied with her appearance, Liz bounced into the kitchen, grabbing a bagel for breakfast, before heading downstairs just as Maria pulled up in front of the Crashdown to take her to school.

Nothing could bring her down today. Maria was in a particularly vile mood because of some fight that she and Michael had the day before, and she was totally consumed with he latest decision that Michael had some serious groveling ahead of him to make it all up to her. All Liz could do was laugh, smile, and agree with her.

Maria went through a phase like this about once a week…it was a regular occurrence. And Liz knew exactly what the outcome would be. Maria would see Michael in their period 2 art class, she would pretend to be angry, he would pretend to not care, and then the moment the class ended they would rush off to the eraser room to "make up".

Liz just smiled and nodded, as Maria continued on about what scum Michael was…when suddenly her thoughts began to drift back to two days earlier, when Liz had first seen Max in the hallway. Maria had called him scum then too…and she had obviously believed it whole heartedly, even though Liz knew without a doubt that it was far from the truth, having spend almost two whole days consumed by Max…either in person or in her thoughts.

So why did Maria hate him so much?

The moment Maria pulled into her parking spot at school, Liz leapt up, grabbing her backpack.

"Hey Maria…I have to go. I need to talk to my teacher before class…see you at lunch?"

Maria's jaw dropped in shock as Liz ran from the car without even waiting for an answer.


Liz hurried quickly through the hallways towards Max's locker. She couldn't get there fast enough, and breathed a sigh of relief when she approached, Max and Michael talking quietly as Max dropped his books in his locker.

Max's eyes found hers as she strode up to them, a determined glint in her eye, as she smiled brightly at Max, before turning quickly to Michael.

"Michael…why does Maria hate Max so much?"

Max's jaw dropped. It was one of the last things he would have ever expected to come from Liz's lips at that moment. Michael's eyes widened briefly in surprise, and he got an uncomfortable expression on his face as he glanced from Liz, to Max, and back to Liz again.

"Maria hates me?" Max wondered. It was news to him.

"Well, yeah…actually she kind of does." Michael confirmed, glancing at Liz before responding gently. "But I think that's something you and Max need to find out yourself…Max told me about the flashes…maybe something will eventually pop up in them."

"Michael….Max and I are together now…and Maria's my best friend. I need her to be able to accept us." Liz sighed, running a hand through her hair in frustration.

"She will." Michael agreed gently. "But you know how stubborn Maria is. Sometimes she needs a good slap in the face to realize how pig-headed she's being. Once she realizes how much good you and Max are doing each other she'll back off." A mischievous grin broke out on Michael's face. "In fact…today might be a perfect day to break the good news to her. I have an idea…."


"So, are you ready to show Maria how insanely in love we are?" Liz asked Max with an evil grin, as she met him at his locker at the beginning of the lunch period.

"I don't think it will be too difficult." Max laughed back, as they turned together and began heading towards the quad, where Maria was waiting for Liz at their regular lunch spot.

"Let's go over the plan one more time." Liz suggested. "We go up to Maria, I introduce you as my boyfriend…" Liz explained.

"We act insanely cute." Max took over for her. "We get all wrapped up in each other, as we tell go over how much time we've been spending together."

"You grab me and passionately kiss me." Liz reminded him. "We get even further wrapped up in each other, which shouldn't be too hard because of the flashes. Maria sees how happy we are together."

"We remind her again and again how happy we are together." Max continued.

"Hopefully she'll get it pounded into her thick skull how happy we are together and take a hint." Liz finished, glancing up at Max one last time. "Are you ready for this?"

"Of course." Max agreed, stopping and turning to her. "We have to be pretty realistic about this. She'll notice if we aren't touching. I'll try to keep it light, to avoid too many intense flashes, but…" Max trailed off, and moved to take her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. She sighed happily at the brief contact, smiling up at him as it quickly came.

They stood on the edge of the bridge, their fingers laced together…it was a significant moment. Regardless of how hard the past few weeks had been, at this moment they were together, they were strong, and they were ready to face anything together. In a moment of passion, Max leaned down and captured her lips, kissing her for bravery, for strength…and for remembrance, just in case it was the last time. And then together, in perfect unison, they jumped…

Liz blinked as she returned to reality, shaking the flash out of her head, as she squeezed Max's hand tighter, and they headed into the quad, where Maria waited for them. She was sitting with Michael, gesturing wildly about something…probably his latest fault, when she saw them approaching from behind Michael's back.

It was amazing how someone could literally look like they were about to explode. Maria's eyes widened, her jaw dropped, and she turned about five different shades of red in a matter of seconds at the sight of Max and Liz, and their cuddly, connected hands.

Liz turned and looked up at Max's smiled with a practiced lovesick look in her eyes.

"Uh oh…" Liz mumbled through her grin. "She looks like she's going to kill us both."

"Don't worry Liz." Max replied, gazing seriously into her eyes. "If there's any way I can win her over, I will."

Liz giggled for effect, before replying. "Do you think that was enough of a performance?"

"Probably…lets do this."

A few more yards, and they were approaching Maria, grinning up at each other before turning to their friend.

"Hey Maria!" Liz greeted cheerfully. "Hi Michael. You guys both know Max."

"Liz?" Maria asked with a pointed look, gesturing to the side with her head in an obvious 'we need to talk, now' gesture, but Liz chose to ignore it, grinning up at her boyfriend, and winking, before turning back to her friend.

"Maria…Max and I met…again…in biology class. We're lab partners, and…well…we've been spending a lot of time together the past few days…it's been absolutely…"

"Amazing." Max murmured dreamily, finishing for her.

"Yeah…amazing." Liz replied, fading back into the daze she felt every time she and Max had a moment.

"And where have I been during all of this?" Maria asked in a frigid voice, breaking their moment.

"I don't know…working…fighting with Michael. The usual. Anyway…Max and I are together…again."

"So you guys figured out about before?" Michael asked curiously.

"Not everything." Max explained quickly, trying to pull his attention away from Maria. "But we've been slowly putting the pieces together through the flashes."

"You guys are having flashes again!" Maria suddenly exploded, throwing her hands in the air and letting out a wail of frustration.

Three pairs of eyes whipped around to Maria in shock. She froze, and blushed slightly at her extreme reaction, before turning her concern onto Liz.

"Liz…you've been kissing him?" Maria interrogated her friend angrily. "What in the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that I'm in love, Maria." Liz replied softly. "And it wasn't just when we kissed. We get flashes together all the time, any time we're touching. Max is the first person who has been able to help me remember anything…"

"So you're using him for the flashes?" Maria cut her off.

"No…of course not." Liz rebutted quickly. "The flashes came later…the feelings came first. I've known Max since the first time I saw him. I knew that I wanted to get to know him even before you told me anything about him. And since the first time we talked I knew that you were overreacting from your opinion of him."

"Liz…you have no idea what you're getting yourself in to." Maria argued.

"Actually I know a lot more than you think." Liz disputed, her voice cool. She never expected Maria's reaction to be quite so drastic.

"I don't think you do." Maria sighed, her tone gentler. "Because I know you, Liz. And I know that you wouldn't get involved with Max again if you knew everything."

"I know enough, Maria." Liz announced, her voice final. "I know him…I know who he is, and I know that he loves me. Anything else we can work through."

"I agree." Max replied softly, turning his wide eyes to Maria and addressing her directly for the first time. "I don't know what I did that was so horrible, Maria…but I know that I love Liz with all my heart. Being with her is the most amazing thing I have ever experienced in my memory…and I would do anything for her…give her the world if I could. I think…she's my soulmate."

A heavy silence hung in the air, as Maria gazed disapprovingly at the couple. Michael had an amused smirk on his face, and all Max and Liz saw was each other. Max's words had rushed straight to Liz's heart, filling her once again with the warmth that was missing since that morning…and neither Maria or Michael could deny the way the couple glowed as they lost themselves in each other's eyes.

Unable to wait another moment, Max grasped Liz's face in his hands, and firmly brought his lips down to meet her, determined to make his point to Maria…and eager to feel the warmth of Liz's embrace once more.

And neither of them could prepare themselves for the rush of pain that filled both their hearts as the flashes overtook their minds.

posted on 11-Nov-2001 1:33:40 AM by Cookie2697
How about if I give you a hint to ease your soul a bit?

The flashes all have a certain theme to them. They are only seeing moments between them, Max and Liz, when they are physically touching. So any moments where they are not together or not touching can't be seen.

Glad to hear you guys are enjoying it! Thanks for the great feedback!

I'm off to bed for the night, but after work tomorrow I will try and see what I can get written *grin*
posted on 11-Nov-2001 6:21:09 PM by Cookie2697
Hey guys!

Man...I love coming home from work to feedback! *grin* It makes me Oh so happy!!!

AJK - I just wanted to say that I will forever be a Max lover... During Season 1 when Tess came for the first time I swore that the only thing that would EVER turn me away from Max was if he slept with though? Been there...experienced that...and I still love the guy. My prognosis? He may be alien, but at heart he's still human, he makes mistakes, and I believe there's very little he can do that is totally unforgivable. Apparently Liz agrees with me too.

How about clue #2 to go with clue #1...clue #1 being that they only get flashes of the two of them together. Clue #2 is that I guarentee they will not get flashes of the Texx at all...neither of them will remember that event until they get their entire memories back. There may be hints and clues toward it...but no flashes of Max and the rodent.
posted on 11-Nov-2001 6:23:59 PM by Cookie2697
Hey guys!

Man...I love coming home from work to feedback! *grin* It makes me Oh so happy!!!

AJK - I just wanted to say that I will forever be a Max lover... During Season 1 when Tess came for the first time I swore that the only thing that would EVER turn me away from Max was if he slept with though? Been there...experienced that...and I still love the guy. My prognosis? He may be alien, but at heart he's still human, he makes mistakes, and I believe there's very little he can do that is totally unforgivable. Apparently Liz agrees with me too.

How about clue #2 to go with clue #1...clue #1 being that they only get flashes of the two of them together. Clue #2 is that I guarentee they will not get flashes of the Texx at all...neither of them will remember that event until they get their entire memories back. There may be hints and clues toward it...but no flashes of Max and the rodent.
posted on 11-Nov-2001 10:10:25 PM by Cookie2697
Part 20

Hold on hold on to yourself
For this is gonna hurt like hell
Hold on hold on to yourself
You know that only time will tell

What is it in me that refuses to believe
This isn't easier than the real thing
My love you know that you're my best friend
You know I'd do anything for you
My love let nothing come between us
My love for you is strong and true

Am I in heaven here or am I...
At the crossroads I am standing
So now you're sleeping peaceful
I lie awake and pray
That you'll be strong tomorrow and we'll
See another day and we will praise it


The flashes faded within moments, but the pain lingered, as did their lips, desperately pressed up against each other as Max and Liz tried to bury themselves within the present, within each other. They wanted to erase the memory from their minds, ignore the ripping pain in their hearts.

Liz's hands clung desperately to Max's T-shirt, as she pulled herself closer to him, whimpering slightly as she met each of his passionate kisses with an equally passionate reply. His hands stayed at her face, his thumbs brushed across her cheeks in a gentle caress, desperate to feel her, to be sure that she was real. Because in the flash that they had just experienced, their kiss was far from real…it was like Liz wasn't even there.

It was a reluctant couple which finally allowed their lips to separate, but their eyes remained locked, wide, shocked eyes meeting and conveying all the pain and regret that lingered from the flash.

"Okay, okay…so you proved your point!" Maria broke the moment, with an exasperated sigh. "I get it…you're back together now."

Michael on the other hand studied them a little closer, and instantly noticed that the mood had changed between them.

"Did you have a flash?" He asked them quietly.

"Yeah." Max replied breathlessly, his eyes never leaving Liz's, his attention totally focused on her and making sure she was okay. She still seemed dazed from the flash…and she was obviously fighting tears…her eyes were shining, hinting at a coming emotional outburst.

"Well what did you see?" Maria pushed, and Max froze. With all of Maria's doubts about their relationship, she didn't need to know what either of them were feeling right now…he and Liz both needed her to think that everything was fine.

"Nothing." Max replied quickly. "It's not important."

"Max!" Liz protested, shooting him a pained look, shocked that he would just blow off the flash as nothing.

"Yeah…come on, Max." Maria demanded further. "I doubt there's anything you could have seen that I wouldn't already know about. Just spill it."

"We just kissed." Max explained, with a flip of his hand, shooting Liz a gentle 'we'll talk about it later' look, nodding towards Maria, and praying that she would remember the point of this lunchtime gathering. "That was it. It was just a flash of a kiss that we had once before. No big deal."

"With you and Liz, it's always a bit deal." Maria replied dryly.


Pain…agonizing pain…confusion…betrayal…

And love…

"Were you watching?" Max demanded as he entered the senator's office, seeing Liz standing there guiltily, flustered at being discovered spying on him and Tess. Liz couldn't even find the words to explain herself, so Max continued. "So, it was all a setup?"

"Yeah." Liz admitted lamely, not knowing what else to say.

"You're trying to get Tess and me together?" Max asked in disbelief, as he desperately tried to wrestle more information out of her…trying to explain the pain he was feeling at the thought. The way Liz wouldn't even look him in the eye as she tried to explain herself.

"Look, I know that you must hate me right now…" Liz flustered, trying to find something, anything to stay to push him away further. She knew Max…she knew how he was going to react…but she never expected his reaction to be quite so extreme, as he shook his head in disbelief, before cupping her face with his hands and pressing his lips firmly against hers.

Liz had to fight back the gasp at his action, and the moan threatening to escape her throat. She couldn't react to this…she couldn't let him know how much he was getting to her…she couldn't allow him to discover that the first time their lips had touched in over four months was instantly turning her blood on fire, and making her desperate for more.

As he continued to devour her mouth…Liz wondered if he knew how much she was weakening under his embrace…particularly with the intensity that the flashes had suddenly overtaken her mind. As he pulled away, Liz tried to shake the memory of them from her mind, as she closed her eyes and tried to ignore the trembles coursing through her body.

"I felt that…" Max declared passionately. "…and I know you did, too, and I know you think that...that I need to let you go...for the sake of Michael, and Isabel, and my you went to Tess. But she can't be you. Tess can never be you."

"Max, we have to stop this" Liz insisted lamely. "We have to. I am telling you that we have to.

"Go out with me on Friday." Max pressed quickly, desperate to get something, anything from her. "There's a Gomez concert in Santa Fe. I have tickets."

"No. No, Max. I can't go out with you ever again." Liz cried in frustration, even though her heart was begging her to say yes. She turned the begging to him, as she pleaded with her eyes. "Please stop doing this."

"I can't."

It had been hours since the flash…but the pain had lingered with them both, particularly since Liz couldn't get it out of her head…she couldn't ignore her determination to turn Max away from her at that moment, or the way the anguish had filled his eyes as she broke his heart.

Suddenly, Liz found herself full of doubt…not over her present feelings, because she knew without a doubt that she loved Max…even in the flash she knew that she loved Max.

The doubts were in herself. Liz couldn't figure out how Maria could hate Max so much when she, Liz, was the one to cause so much pain between them. She couldn't understand how Max could possibly just accept the flash as fact and then go on as if nothing had happened, when the evidence was right there in front of them both…and she was the culprit.

Liz was terrified of his impending reaction…sitting beside him in the Chevelle, parked in front of the Crashdown. She knew it was coming…they needed to talk before Liz's shift began.

The problem is that neither of them knew exactly where to start.

"I was in so much pain." Liz finally whispered, so softly that Max almost missed it.

They had been sitting there, lost in their own thoughts for so long, that it took Max by surprise. He turned to face her, waiting a long moment before speaking.

"I was so confused." Max softly replied. "I didn't understand what was going on. I still don't. All I know is that I was so in love with you…and you were trying to set me up with Tess…whoever she is. It hurt so much…particularly because I knew you didn't want me to be with her…you were just doing what you thought was best for me. How could you ever think that? You and I both know that I'm at my best when I'm with you. I need you, Liz. No one else."

"I know." Liz quietly cried, trying to ignore the tears that were slipping down her cheeks. "You need me, and I need you too. I don't know why I was trying to keep you away from me then, Max…but I swear to you…I won't do it again. I'm so sorry…for whatever I did."

"Liz…don't apologize." Max pleaded. "Whatever happened, it's in the past. We can't live in the past. We have to move forward with each other…not backwards. I mean…we don't know why any of that happened…and for all we know it was eventually resolved. Let's just learn from this lesson and move on. I mean…Maria has made one point totally clear…we've struggled through a lot to be together. The least we can do is take advantage of what we can have now."

Liz nodded wildly, wiping away her tears, before looking up into Max's eyes. "I agree. What's happened, has happened. We just have to be prepared that not all of these flashes are going to be easy to deal with. Whatever we see…whatever happens, we have to work through it together."

Max smiled gently. "We will, Liz. I can promise you that."

"Okay." Liz sighed. "I should get to work. Will you call me tonight after work?"

"Yeah…of course." Max agreed with a grin. "Phone date at 8 p.m. tonight."

posted on 12-Nov-2001 11:25:45 PM by Cookie2697
Hey Guys!!!

I wanted to say thanks for the fabulous feedback!! Y'all make me so happy *grin* I really can't tell you enough how much your feedback makes my day!

Hope you enjoy this part...lots of Tess references...I know that's no fun...but it's gotta happen eventually. Don't kill me TOO much for saying the T-word too much in this part! LOL!

Part 21

Ever since I was a child
You always said that I
Should understand the rules
You take some and give less
Sit high above the rest...don't you

As I ask a simple question
Cuts me off with his reply
He's been practicing for decades
Now he thinks I have the time
He flows in and out of riddles
Looking me straight in the eye
But it seems like something's missing
From the days
When he was more my size

Ten years older and I finally found my pride
This old man comes rolling home to die
Old feelings make it hard to decide
Just what it means to me

Everything's between black and white
You can twist and distort
The most blatant of lies
Or just offer up solutions
Practiced only in your mind
I lost half my life to wisdom

So forgive me if I come off sounding bitter
If my words push you away
If I seem surprised to see you
Lying here in front of me
Just consider what you're asking
And give me a little time
I'm still having trouble breathing
'Cause up to now I've never seen you cry

All night, Liz found herself going through the motions at work, delivering food, taking orders, cleaning tables…but her mind was somewhere else entirely.

She wasn't quite so broken up over the flash anymore. Max had eased her fears with his oath that they would work through the flashes together, and not let their past actions come between them today…but there was something else that Liz couldn't get out of her head.

Who was Tess?

Whoever this Tess was, she had obviously created a great deal of tension between Max and Liz in the past…in the flash her heart had just wrenched, and anger had flared up within her just at the mention of the name. But whoever Tess was she obviously wasn't around anymore. Max didn't know her…Liz didn't know her, and nobody ever talked about her.

As she moved towards the kitchen window to pick up an order, she glanced at Michael, pondering asking him…but he hadn't been overly giving about answering their questions thus far.

Research was definitely on the agenda once her shift ended.


"Isabel, are you busy?" Max asked softly as he peeked his head into his sister's bedroom. She glanced up from her books, nodding for Max to come in, as she folded the book shut, placing it beside her.

"No…I'm not too busy." Isabel sighed. "I could use a break from psychology anyway…I can't believe how much reading I have to do for these college classes."

"Mom says you're spending so much time studying…more than usual." Max commented. "She said that it's out of character for you…I wish I could remember for myself."

"Yeah…" Isabel replied softly. "I took a lot of units this year…I needed something to keep myself busy…to keep my mind off of…stuff."

Max nodded, knowing that this was one of those moments where he shouldn't press her. He changed the subject quickly, returning to the point of his visit.

"Isabel…I just wanted to talk to you about something. I…I've started having memory flashes." He explained quickly, for some reason knowing that fact would help her accept Liz more.

"Really?" Isabel's entire face brightened as she openly grinned at her brother. "I'm so happy for you. What are you remembering?"

"Wait." Max stopped her quickly. "There's more. The flashes have been really great. It's helping me get a sense of who I am again…and it's really been, well, mind blowing for me. But the other thing is that there's something in particular that's been initiating them."

"What is it?" Isabel asked curiously.

"Well…actually it's someone." Max corrected. "Liz Parker."

Max sucked in his breath as he watched the smile on Isabel's face fade away before his very eye. He couldn't read the new expression…whether it was anger, pain, disappointment…he wasn't sure what she was feeling. So he just stood silently waiting for her reaction.

"Max…I don't think it's a good idea…for you to get involved with her."

"Isabel…I thought you'd be happy that I'm getting my memory back. Did you ever stop to think that maybe Liz is the only person who can help me with that?"

"Did you ever think that maybe she would be better off without you?" Isabel shot back quickly, rubbing her brow in frustration.

"What do you mean?" Max asked, searching Isabel's face for some kind of straight answers about all of this.

"Do you have any idea how much you've hurt her? How much you may continue to hurt her through the flashes you're getting?"

"Some of the flashes haven't been easy." Max admitted. "But we can work through them together."

"What if Liz sees something she doesn't want to see?" Isabel pressed further. "Did you ever think about that?"

Max stared at her curiously. "I really don't know what you mean."

"Or how about the danger." Isabel continued, ignoring his reply. "Didn't you even stop to think that maybe just being with her is putting her in danger?"

"You said yourself that we're stuck here…that we're not going anywhere. That maybe if we hide out and act normal that no one will come after us again." Max argued.

"We are stuck here." Isabel agreed. "But our enemies are still out there…and we already know that they'd do anything to hurt us…even kill."

"What are you talking about?" Max demanded, realizing that they were broaching yet another subject that he was supposed to know and didn't. "Who died?"

"No one." Isabel denied quickly.

"I think you're lying. Who was it?" Max implored, his mind racking quickly through the few names he had filed away, only coming across one that he couldn't place a face to. "Was it Tess?"

Isabel's head shot up so quickly, the blood draining from her face at the name, making Max's curiosity intensify.

"Where did you hear about her?" Isabel inspected Max's face closely. They had wanted so much to erase Tess from their memories after discovering she was the culprit behind Alex's death…apparently Max was the only one who had succeeded…for a while.

"Her name was in a memory flash I had with Liz today." Max explained softly. "Was it her?"

"No." Isabel replied shortly. "It wasn't. But trust me on this Max…you don't want to know about Tess. You don't want Liz to know about Tess. It's better off that she's gone and forgotten."


Liz didn't know why she didn't do this before now. She spent the last few weeks of the summer frantically searching for clues, but never once did she think to hunt out her high school yearbooks.

After digging through various boxes, Liz finally found her yearbooks stuffed among books on the top shelf of her closet. Pulling them down, she wiped one hand across the front, clearing the light sheen of dust, as she stared at the cover.

West Roswell High School 2000-2001.

She traced the letters with the lightest touch of her finger, wondering if the answers she would be looking for would be hiding within. It was always said that a yearbook was a private place…people's signatures were not read by others…it was a personal memory, not one to be shared to the whole world.

But her life had been so secretive, constantly hiding the truth about Max from the world. Would she have ever written anything down?

Quickly, Liz crossed the room, climbing up on her bed and sitting cross-legged, the yearbook on her lap, as she took a deep breath and opened it, flipping quickly to the Junior Class's pictures.

All she had was a name…a first name, the last name a mystery.


Liz didn't know what good it would do for her to see the face of the mystery girl she had tried to set Max up with…but she felt an overwhelming urge to look into the eyes of the face that went with the name…the name that in the flash had made her stomach curdle.

Her eyes flew down the page, searching the list of names quickly to no avail. She flipped the page, and smiled at Maria's grinning face, before being distracted by another face just beside her.

Evans, Max.

Liz's eyes glowed at the sight of the year-old picture of the boy who had managed to change her life in a matter of days…before studying his gaze more closely. There was something about the picture…something that she had never noticed during all the time she had spent with him the past few days.

His eyes were sad. Knowing Max, he was probably trying to hide it in the picture…but it stood out as plain as day to Liz. He was suffering horribly in the picture…like he had lost the only thing in the world that mattered to him.

And when her memory reached back and searched the little that she knew about their past together…Liz realized that she had seen it there too…in only two of the flashes. The two painful ones.

Something had destroyed Max…and Liz had a feeling it was directly linked to her.

Liz swallowed, and tried to shake the painful ache out of her mind, as she turned to the opposite page…and she froze as the name stood out from the top row.

Tess Harding.

The picture made Liz want to throw up.

Tess Harding was a platinum blonde, curly-haired girl who was wearing entirely too much makeup. Liz could practically feel the pettiness, just by staring a long moment at that horrible face.

Why in the world would she want to set Max up with Tess Harding?

Liz could tell just by the picture that she wasn't Max's type. Max had a brain…he liked intelligence…he was dating a science nerd for heaven's sake. So what could possibly make Liz think that she would succeed in setting him up with a girl like Tess Harding?

posted on 13-Nov-2001 12:02:14 AM by Cookie2697
jezebel617 originally wrote:
Wow! Liz understands how I feel! The sight of Tess always made me want to throw up too!


ROTFLMAO!!! I totally agree!!!
posted on 13-Nov-2001 9:48:24 AM by Cookie2697
Hey guys!

To answer the question about the song, it was Question Everything by 8Stops7....a Roswell song actually! It was played in Max to the Max!

If there's ever any question about the song, I just wanted to let you know I keep a list of all the songs I used on page 1 of the fic, so you can always look there if you want...however you can always ask me too, 'cause I like to know that people are paying attention to that!

I had a horrendous time putting a song to this was a tough one to really label.

As for the next part, I have started should be out later today. I don't know if I can promise a sweet chapter, because I have to wrap up the stuff that happened in the last chapter. However sweetness will come soon. I will remember this and try to remember to balance it out rather than going from one painful moment to the next, okay?

thanks again!
posted on 13-Nov-2001 8:42:06 PM by Cookie2697
22 PLEASE????

LOL...well I'm working on it as we speak...It will be out before Roswell airs for certain *grin*
posted on 13-Nov-2001 9:43:37 PM by Cookie2697
Part 22

If I give up on you I give up on me
If we fight what's true will we ever be
Even God himself and the faith I knew
Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you

I believe in you
Even if no one understands
I believe in you
And I don't really give a damn
If we're stigmatized
We life out lives on different sides
But we keep together you and I
We live our lives on different sides


As much as Tess Harding's image had tempted Liz to take her yearbook and throw it as hard as she could across the room…Liz knew she wasn't done yet.

Smiling longingly, Liz continued to flip through the yearbook, smiling at the faces she recognized: Michael, Maria…Alex. She couldn't fight the tears that started flowing at the sight of an entire page in memory of the boy that she knew had been her close, personal friend, even if she had no memory of him.

Finally she had turned to the empty pages in the back, reserved for autographs and signings, and found herself reading a haunting message from the boy who had captured her heart.

Dear Liz…

After all that we've been through together I find myself sitting with your yearbook in hand, and I have no idea what to say. I know this is supposed to be a happy moment, where we relive all the good times, and forget all the bad…but the good times were so few and far between, I find it hard to do.

I know what the good times were for me…any time I saw your beautiful smile, every time I held you close…hell, any time I was even in the same room as you. Anytime you're near me it makes the world that much better.

You probably think it's presumptuous of me to say things like this…but I can't help it. You mean the world to me, Liz.

If I could have just one wish, I would take away all the pain I have caused you…everything that I did to hurt you. I know how much you've paid to know me. I just hope it's worth it.

Thank you for everything that you have ever done for me Liz…I could never repay you enough.

I love you,

Liz sat there staring blankly at the page for a long moment after she finished reading, and found herself left with even more questions than before finding her yearbook. And as she finally shut the book, placing it off to the side, she found herself wondering if she would ever find the answers she was looking for.


"I think something happened…something bad." Max mused, as he and Liz sat together the next day at lunch, going over all that they had learned the night before. "I talked to Isabel last night, and she was being really weird about it…she wouldn't give me any straight answers, but I think she lost someone close to her because of us."

"Do you think it was Tess?" Liz asked curiously.

"No…I asked her about Tess, and she got really angry with me. She said that we don't want to know anything about Tess and it's better off that she's out of our lives."

"That's really weird." Liz shook her head in frustration. "There's just so much I wish we knew. I did a little research last night…looked into finding Tess. There wasn't too much…but I did find a picture of her in last year's yearbook."

"What is she like?" Max wondered.

"Well…about the exact opposite of me from the look of it. An overdressed, over primped blonde."

Max crinkled his nose slightly at the image he conjured in his mind. "Liz…what were you thinking?" He laughed.

Liz smirked at him and slapped him playfully before replying. "That's what I was asking myself last night too. Still…I wonder what happened to her. Maybe we could find her?"

"Maybe Isabel's right and we shouldn't find her." Max rebutted. "We don't know what to do here, Liz. We don't have enough information to do anything here, except for the word of our friends, who we know may not be working for our best interest here. We need to learn more."

"I know." Liz sighed. "I just wish I knew how."


Later that afternoon, Max pulled the Chevelle up in front of the Crashdown, sighing as he turned to say goodbye to Liz.

"I wish you didn't have to work." He lamented. "I'd love to have you to myself all afternoon."

"I know." Liz grinned, rolling her eyes mockingly. "I know you can't live without me…but I have to work. Can you come over tonight after my shift? We could talk more then."

"I'll be here." Max swore. "Come on…I'll walk you in."

"Okay." Liz laughed, as Max got out of the car, and walked around to let her out with a bounce in his step. "My lady…" He gestured in a fake, stuffy voice, as he opened the door.

"Thank you." She replied in a playfully serious voice, stepping past him and up onto the sidewalk. He followed her closely…so close in fact, that Liz's heart started pounding, as he reached over her shoulder to push the door to the Café open. She crossed beneath his raised arm, and entered the restaurant, stopping right inside the door, and turning to face him, as he came in behind her, letting the door close behind him.

They stood there for a long moment, just staring into each other's eyes, the door framing their figures, before Max reached up and gently caressed her face…

He was so cold…Liz could tell. The rain was clinging to his hair, plastering it to his forehead, but still, he just stood there, outside in the rain, staring in at her…waiting for her to notice him. His gaze was so intense, so desperate, that Liz couldn't help crossing the distance to the door, and slowly unlocking it to let him in.

They stood there in the doorway for a long moment, nothing but small talk, until Max started to speak in that pleading, beautiful voice that spoke right to her heart…the voice that told her that his soul was talking…he was pouring it out, putting himself on a limb for her. It was a rare action from a boy that was normally so shy.

He reached out a hesitant hand, cold and wet from the rain, and caressed her cheek so gently, so tenderly…love was pouring from everything he did.

"Liz, about what Michael said before, about Tess, I just...I want you to know that I don't feel anything for her. I look at you, and I know you're the person I'm supposed to be with. I've always known it. What happened here that day, when you got shot, and how that brought us's fate." She was still hesitating, couldn't quite look up into his eyes…because she knew the moment she did, she would be a goner.

"Look at me." Max pleaded so desperately, that she couldn't resist peeking up and meeting the intensity of his gaze. "You're the one, Liz...the only one. I could never be with anyone else."

Liz turned her face into Max's hand, kissing it gently, before pulling away.

"Bye Liz." Max whispered, with a soft smile that glowed straight from his heart.


The latest flash left Liz with a lingering warmth in her heart, making her smile and whistle happily as she worked…but as the night pressed on, she found herself remembering Max's words again…not the ones about her…the ones that were distinctly not about her.

"Liz, about what Michael said before, about Tess, I just...I want you to know that I don't feel anything for her."

It left Liz with a lingering doubt, that at one point Liz might have suspected Max of feeling something for Tess…to the point where he would come to her and plead desperately with her to understand his love for her.

"I could never be with anyone else."

Liz's eyes crossed the room, lingering at the door. For a moment she could almost see the rainy night again in her mind's eye, before Maria passed in front of the door, pulling Liz's eyes from it, as they watched Maria cross the diner and head to the back room.

Suddenly determined, Liz followed her friend into the back, closing the door behind her quickly, as she cornered her friend.

"Maria…who is Tess?"

Maria whirled around and stared at Liz in shock for a long moment. She was obviously without words, as she opened and closed her mouth a few times, fumbling over whatever she was going to say.

"Where did you hear about Tess?" Maria finally stammered.

"She was mentioned in a flash I had with Max." Liz explained.

"Mentioned in what sense?" Maria pressed, studying Liz closely for any hint of pain…and was surprised to find that there was none.

"Just her name…nothing more." Liz admitted. "But she had Max and I a bit intrigued…because we know nothing about her except what she looked like…we don't know why she might be important."

"Liz…trust me…you don't want to know." Maria finally answered dryly, turning back to the dining room, as she tried to get past her friend, but Liz wouldn't let her out.

"No, Maria…I won't accept that. I want an answer." Liz demanded. Maria stared at her in disbelief at her friend's reaction, and Liz sighed, trying to explain herself further. "Isabel told Max the same thing." Liz finally confirmed. "But this isn't about that. This is about you and me and the fact that when it comes to Max, and only Max, you won't answer any of my questions. Don't I deserve to know?"

Maria let out the breath she was holding, and studied her friend for a long moment, before trying to explain herself.

"Yes, Liz. You probably do deserve to know…but I'm your friend and I don't want to be the one to tell you, because I don't want to hurt you. You do deserve to know, but you also need to figure it out yourself."

"How do I do that? Is there any way besides the flashes?" Liz pleaded.

Maria hesitated a long moment before replying.

"There may be one way…you had a journal…"

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 13-Nov-2001 9:45:37 PM ]
posted on 15-Nov-2001 12:17:27 AM by Cookie2697
Hey guys!

Thanks for the fabulous feedback!!!

I was trying to post this morning to tell you guys that I wouldn't have a new part today...but the board wouldn't let me post, and at this point in time I think it's fairly obvious LOL!

Let's for the extent of Maria's knowledge over the location of the journal...let's just say that I'm evil and I'm not going to'll find out in the next part!

Burgandy made a very good observation though...Liz DID stop writing in her journal for a very long time...information after Season 1 will be very scarce in it *grin* Does that lessen your fears a bit?

Sooooooo....hehehe....who watched Buffy last night? LOL!
posted on 26-Nov-2001 10:21:14 PM by Cookie2697
Part 23

There's a place I dream about
Where the sun never goes out
And the sky is deep and blue
Won't you take me there with you

We can begin again
Shed our skin, let the sun shine in
At the edge of the ocean
We can start over again

There's a world I've always known
Somewhere far away from home
When I close my eyes I see
All the space and mystery

We can begin again
Shed our skin, let the sun shine in
At the edge of the ocean
We can start over again


It was a restless Liz that Max found a few hours later, pacing back and forth across her balcony, when he pulled himself up the ladder and over the ledge to her.

"What's going on?" Max asked, concerned with her unsettling energy.

"I talked to Maria…about Tess." Liz started quickly, pausing in her jittery movements, to turn and meet Max's eyes. "She said the same thing as Isabel…that we don't want to know and we're better off without her."

Max opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off as Liz continued.

"But that isn't it…Maria told me something else…she said I kept a journal." Liz started pacing furiously again, running a frustrated hand through her hair. "The thing is…I've torn my room apart again and again since loosing my memory, looking for anything to help me…and not once have I seen a journal. I asked Maria and she doesn't know where I hid it."

Liz turned back to Max, the determination in her eyes piercing right into Max's own.

"We need to find that journal, Max. It could have all the answers we're looking for. It could be the key to everything…I mean, it must have something pretty important to it if I kept it so well hidden…I didn't want anyone finding it, Max…which means there could be stuff about you in there."

Liz paused a long moment, staring stubbornly into Max's eyes. "I need you to help me find it, Max."

Max felt like his head was spinning, as he stared at Liz in disbelief. She was so determined, so amazing…but her mind was so completely focused on just one thing at the moment. It was overwhelming…the possibility before them, but it was also overwhelming to think that he and Liz had only known each other for a few days…and all they had done was hunt for information the entire time.

"Liz…just stop for a minute." Max pleaded, watching her frantic movements across the balcony. She froze, turning to meet Max's eyes curiously. He took a deep breath before continuing. "Liz…I love you. I love you so much it hurts. And I will do anything in my power for you. But I think we both need to stop and take a look at things here for a moment."

"What are you talking about?" Liz asked in a hesitant voice.

"Liz…we're living in the past." Max explained gently. "All we do when we're together is talk about what could have been in the past, what might have happened between us…we're not even looking at what could happen tomorrow between us, or a week from now, or next month…unless it has something to do with the search."

Max took a slow step towards her, closing the distance between them as he continued.

"I went home this afternoon, and I spent all afternoon thinking about this…thinking about us. Since the moment I met you I've felt like I've always known you, Liz. I know that my heart knows you…I know that I love you. But I don't really know you, Liz. I know the little things, but not the big picture…and I want to know you, Liz. I want to know every little detail about you…what your favorite flavor of ice cream is, what you like to do for fun, what kind of music you listen to…there's a million things I want to know. Will you let me learn all I can about you?"

"Of course!" Liz breathed dramatically. "I want to know all those things about you too…I guess that's why I've been searching so hard for our memories…because I know that I'm supposed to already know those things…I just want to remember."

"Why wait for the memories, when we're both standing right here, Liz?" Max questioned, leaving Liz standing there staring at him in amazement. "Look…I'm not saying that it isn't important to find out…I'm just saying that I want to do both…so how about if we cut a deal here. I'll help you find the journal tonight…and if we do find it we can study it together…and then tomorrow night we'll abandon the hunt, and just go out alone together…on a real date."

"Okay." Liz smiled shyly, her heart pounding happily at the thought of a date with Max…suddenly the journal was far from her mind, even as she turned and followed Max into her room, where he stood in the center of the room, studying his surroundings in depth.

"So where have you looked?" He asked her, forcing Liz back into reality.

"All the obvious places…my closet, under my bed…I tore apart my desk. Basically I've searched everywhere, Max. I don't know how it's possible that it could still be in this room."

"All the obvious places…except that if it deals with what we think it would deal with you wouldn't want to hide it in an obvious place…you'd want to hide it somewhere where no one would ever find it." Max's eyes were drawn towards the single brick wall of Liz's room. Determination in his step, Max quickly crossed the room to study the wall more closely.

"Max?" Liz asked curiously, as Max reached out and touched the wall with both hands, sliding his fingers up and down the rough surface, pressing against an occasional brick, tracing the edges…looking for something, anything. He started at the top, working his way gradually lower, until suddenly he froze, as a single brick wiggled beneath his fingers.

"Hmmm…what have we here?" Max smiled, as he loosened the brick with his fingers, pulling it from the wall. Liz quickly rushed to his side as he carefully placed the brick off to the side, carefully reaching one hand into the black cavern, and allowing it to linger on the smooth surface beneath her. Gently, she lifted the mystery object, carefully removing it from the hole, and gasped at the sight before her.

It was a framed picture, hidden from her own sight, with a thin layer of dust covering the picture. Liz lowered her face to the glass and gently blew the dust away.

"Wow." Liz gasped, turning the picture for Max to see.

It was them…a picture of them from before…probably before any of the problems that they were now slowly learning about. There was no hint of pain or fear in their eyes…laughter was the emotion lingering in the image…happiness…ease…peace.

They were sitting together, squeezed into a booth, obviously at the Crashdown, as Liz was donning her infamous antennae, and Max had one arm around her, pulling her close to him. They had two huge smiles on their faces…something that Liz already knew was unusual for Max…

Staring at the picture, Liz got a newfound sense of peace from the knowledge that there were times when she and Max were totally happy together…she didn't even stop to think about why the picture was hidden away from her own eyes.

Passing the picture to Max, Liz turned to him with a soft smile. "Would you put that somewhere where I can see it?"

Max nodded and grinned, moving across the room to her desk and setting it beside the picture of Liz, Maria and Alex that was there. Max paused, studying the other picture carefully.

"Hey Liz…who's this guy with you and Maria?" He asked curiously.

"Oh…that's Alex." Liz explained, as she reached back into the hole in the wall, feeling for anything else. "According to Maria he was my other best friend. He died in a car crash a few months ago." Her hand finally rested on another object, and feeling around the edges of it, Liz knew it to be a book. "Here we go!" She exclaimed, as she pulled it out. Turning the small brown book over in her hands, Liz softly murmured, "This is it."

"Why don't I go home, and leave you to read that." Max suggested with a half-smile.

"No!" Liz rebutted quickly. "I…I want you to read it with me. We both deserve to know, Max."

"Are you sure?" Max protested. "I mean, we're talking about your personal thoughts here."

"It's okay." Liz insisted. "We're in this together…remember? Come on…lets go sit outside."

Stepping through the window, it was a moment before Max sat down in the lawn chair, gesturing for Liz to join him. She sat between his legs, leaning back against his chest, and after a quick, sweet flash of the two of them sitting in the quad at school, sitting just as they were, kissing and holding each other gently, Liz opened the journal and started reading aloud softly.

September 23rd. Journal entry one. I'm Liz Parker and five days ago I died. After that, things got really weird. I was shot, while at work in the Crashdown, and as I was lying on the floor dying, Max Evans came up to me, and healed me with a touch, sending my whole universe into whack.

It turns out that he's an alien. I feel ridiculous even saying it, but it's true…the fact that I'm sitting here alive is evidence enough. And he's been watching me all his life, seeing me in a way that no one else ever has, and caring enough about me that he was willing to risk his entire life for me. Since then, nothing has been the same.

He wanted me to know that he was still the same Max that I've been going to school with for the past eight years, so he came to me and used his powers to give me a glimpse into his world, and what I saw changed everything. I could feel everything he was feeling. I could feel his loneliness. For the first time I was really seeing Max Evans, I saw me as he saw me, and the amazing thing was, in his eyes, I was beautiful.

Max Evans has put a force on me. It's like my whole life changed in an instant. It's just so ironic that when something like this finally happened to me, it was with an alien.

Max truly did put his life in jeopardy for me. Sheriff Valenti knew something wasn't right about my story…I think he suspected the truth, and we all came together: Max, Michael, Isabel, Maria and I, to throw him off our trail…I think it worked. At least for now. Max is safe, and my world has opened up to the possibilities of a whole new universe.

It's September 24th, I'm Liz Parker and five days ago I died. But then the really amazing thing happened. I came to life.

posted on 29-Nov-2001 5:27:58 PM by Cookie2697 guys are going to hate me and love me at the same time for this note...

First of all...I had an epiphany muse came back full force, hit hard, and basically handed this fic from now until the conclusion to me...which should be about 6 or 7 more parts, depending on stuff. Which was wonderful, which should make you guys happy.

What you're going to hate me for is this...I want to make sure I get it PERFECT....and I'm seriously considering writing it in chunks...possibly finishing the whole fic, before I post another part...just because I want to make sure I get it right...and fit the right songs with the right chapters and stuff like that. So it may be some time before the next update...but it will be a good guys want happy date, right ;)

Sooo....I appologize if it takes some time...but hopefully should be good, and I'll try to split it with writing my other fics so that I do update SOMETHING ;)

Okay...on to the fic! I hope you enjoy...let me know...

Part 24

And you, bring me to my knees again
All the times, that I had to beg you please, in vain.
All the times, that I've felt insecure, for you.
And I leave my burdens at the door.

But I'm on the outside
I'm looking in
I can see through you,
See your true colors.
I can see through you
See to the real you.

All the times that I've cried,
All this wasted it's all inside
And I feel all this pain
Stuffed it down it's back again
And I lie here in bed
All alone I can't mend
And I feel tomorrow will be okay

But I'm on the outside
I'm looking in
I can see through you,
See your true colors.
I can see through you
See to the real you.

Liz could feel Max tightening his arms around her protectively as her voice drifted off, and felt him nuzzling his face into her neck, kissing it gently. One of his hands slid down to her stomach, covering it lightly. Liz stared at his hand in amazement for a long moment. She always knew he was capable of amazing things, but to know that she was alive today because of him…

"I almost lost you." Max murmured, his voice muffled, as he kept his face buried against her skin. "I almost lost you before I even had you."

"But you didn't." Liz replied gently, covering his hand with her own, and rubbing it comfortingly. "You saved me, Max…you're the reason I'm alive today." Picking up his hand, Liz brought it to her lips, gently kissing his knuckles. "Thank you, Max."

Max gently glided his lips across her chin towards her lips, gently connecting them in a sweet kiss. "I love you." Max whispered against her lips, kissing her one last time. Pulling back he smiled softly. "That wasn't half bad…why don't you continue."

Max and Liz soon found themselves entangled in Liz's perspective on their slowly budding relationship. Max found himself smiling slightly at Liz's younger self's view on himself, on how even from her words she was coming to life, even just writing his name…and he couldn't help feeling blown away to learn that Liz, at least at one point in her life, was just as obsessed with Max as he was with her.

Max found his heart going out to Liz as he found himself learning how Liz easily accepted Max, but how completely she struggled with his secret, with the realization that it completely changed her life. When she finally came to terms with all of it, realizing that her life would never be normal again, Max knew it was an important moment in Liz's life…and he couldn't help wondering if he had helped her through it all.

That was the one thing that concerned Max…how personal Liz's journal was. It was filled cover to cover with Liz's personal thoughts, and in reality told very few details about their lives. Still, from Liz's word, there was very little tragedy involved in their early relationship. It seemed to be filled with a lot of longing, a lot of unfulfilled desire. As far as Max could tell, they hadn't even kissed yet, even though they'd both obviously been devoted to each other for months.

One single journal entry changed it all.


I feel…numb. I don't even know how to describe it. How can everything change so quickly?

I'm not doing a very good job of expressing myself here…my mind is just so whirled right now…I've been crying for about an hour, and I just need to vent this somewhere…

Max broke up with me.

I know, I know…I hadn't even written that we were together yet. Like I said, it all happened so fast. It's been two nights…only two nights. That night, when the heat wave broke, Max kissed me for the first time. I feel so hypocritical talking about it now, because that night I was so convinced that we weren't ready for it…but then it happened, and my whole world changed.

Kissing Max was…well, it was incredible. It was exactly how I had expected it to be…mind blowing, earth shattering…life changing. The moment he kissed me, it confirmed all my suspicions that he was the one, the one that Grandma Claudia always used to talk about…my soulmate. Any doubts in my mind were gone in that one instant.

The next night he took me out on our first date. Mind you, it got broken up early by the latest alien issue, Michael's sickness…but up until that moment, everything was perfect. We went out for dinner, we danced…it was like the rest of the world disappeared, and it was just me and Max, completely in love.

And then Michael got sick…and I got scared…and it all built up to this one moment, this one moment inside of Max where he got so scared that he ran.

I'm so torn…one moment I'm so angry with Max for this, and the next minute I'm so sad…lonely…but I love him so much and I'm just want him to work past this and come back to me.

I'm not scared anymore…I just hope that Max feels the same way soon.

"Wow." Liz murmured, as she fingered the next page of the book, trying to decide whether or not to continue.

"I was an idiot." Max replied with certainty, kissing Liz softly on the crown of her head. "Now I couldn't even imagine choosing not to be with you...."

"I know." Liz sighed. "And it's in the past, Max. It happened…and by the sound of it I understood in my own way, as much as it hurt. But I don't think that this is the big, bad thing that we've been waiting for. Although I imagine, knowing Maria, that she was probably upset with you for hurting me, I can't imagine her being so against us just over a measly break up."

"No…probably not." Max agreed softly. "Why don't we keep going."

They read on, enthralled by their own story from Liz's perspective, as she talked briefly about Max's search for clues on his past, and their slow, steady reunion, which eventually climaxed when they spent a night together in the desert…after finding an alien artifact.

Liz had waited for Max through all his doubts, and it had paid off…they were together, and happy, as proven by Liz's giddy accounts of their dates, and pretty much every moment they spent together. The story warmed both their hearts, as they knew without a doubt that they were as close then as they both were now.

Again it was a single journal entry that left both Max and Liz speechless.


I…God…it's so hard to write. I can barely form words…I'm trying so hard to get it out, how I'm feeling right now…but I don't even know if I can. As it is I've been sitting here for about an hour, pen in hand, and it's taken me this long to even start writing…I've never had so much trouble expressing myself before.

My heart is aching, so much…like there's this sick feeling in my chest, and there's absolutely nothing but the images in my head and the pain that accompanies them. I just…I feel physically sick. I want to go throw up, but I know I'm not sick…it just…it hurt so much.

I know what it is I'm feeling too…and that makes it all the more difficult.

My heart is breaking.

Max Evans broke my heart tonight.

He…came to me tonight and said the sweetest things, about how there would never be anyone else for him, but me. I was the only one…now I can't help wondering if our whole relationship has been a lie…can I trust anything he says anymore?

I guess I should just say it…none of this makes any sense without it.

He kissed her. I saw it with my own eyes…less than five minutes after leaving here…he kissed Tess.

I can't…I have to stop…I can't write about this anymore. It just hurts too much.

This time there was no delay. Liz turned the page quickly and read the date of the next entry in shock.

"I didn't write again for a year!" Liz exclaimed. "There's absolutely nothing after that."

Max was silent behind her, and Liz flipped the page again without reading. "I basically gave up writing! There's only two more entries!" She suddenly noticed the uncanny lack of response from behind her, and turned to study him. "Max? Are you okay?" He was sitting there staring off into space, a distant look in his eyes.

"Max?" Liz asked again. "What's wrong?"

There was a long pause, before Max weakly explained. "I…I can't believe I would do something like that to you."

Liz averted her eyes, suddenly awkward as well. "It's over a year in the past Max…and you're not the same person that you were before…"

"Liz…I cheated on you." Max exploded. "That's…it's just wrong. I feel sick inside just thinking about it now."

"Yes…it's wrong…but it’s over, Max. You have no reason to feel guilty." Liz insisted. "You don't even remember doing these things."

"God…no wonder Maria hates me." Max continued, almost as if he didn't hear her. Liz shook her head in frustration at Max's response, and firmly grasped his face in her hands, forcing him to meet her eyes.

"Max…it isn't you, all right?" Liz pressed. "And regardless, it's in the past. Don't let it effect us now."

Max let his eyes slide shut, silently agonizing to himself as he let out a deep breath, trying desperately to relax.

"I know, Liz." He finally stated softly. "I know it's in the past, and I know I can't remember doing these things…but I can't help it…I can't help feeling that I hurt you, that it's something I did… I can't help thinking that if I was the kind of person who would hurt you so effortlessly, than maybe Maria's right, and I'm not the best person for you."

This time it was Liz who stiffened, and Max waited patiently for her response…although when it finally came it took him completely by surprise.

Liz slapped him. Hard. Across the face, leaving a bright pink welt on his cheek, that left her feeling a slight satisfaction as she began to scream at him.

"Don't you dare talk that way." Liz exclaimed angrily. "Don't even think that you're going to walk away from this just because you found out that you made some huge mistake in the past. We are in this together, Max Evans! We have invested ourselves in each other at this point, and I am not letting you go that easily, do you understand me?"

Max nodded weakly in response.

"Good." Liz replied firmly. "Now let's go over the facts here. We know you kissed Tess. We know I got upset…but we don't know what came of it. We don't know if we let it come between us in the long run. We don't know what initiated that kiss."

"Just that it happened is bad enough." Max argued, but he froze at the sharp look Liz gave him at his words.

"It shouldn't have happened." Liz agreed. "But think of what else we know about this Tess person. We know that at some point in time I tried to get you two together…some time when we weren't a couple…and we don't know if that happened first, or if it was a later occurrence…so maybe there was more going on there than what meets the eye."

"You're right." Max softly agreed. "We're definitely missing some facts here."

"It's too bad we can't choose what flashes we want to get." Liz chuckled softly. "Otherwise I would have to demand the answers immediately."

"What happened a year later?" Max asked curiously, and Liz reopened the journal and began to read.

"It's pretty short." Liz noticed softly as she read the two paragraphs aloud softly.

It's April 27th. I'm Liz Parker and I think I've figured out why I haven't written in this journal in nearly a year. It's just ironic that I would figure something out really deep from like the least deep guy in America.

We try to live responsible, logical lives. But we can't tell our hearts how to feel. Sometimes our hearts lead us to places we never thought we wanted to go. And sometimes are hearts can be the sweetest, gentlest things we have. Sometimes are hearts can make us feel miserable, angry, excited and confused. All at once. But at least my heart is open. And I'm writing again. I'm feeling. I'm breathing.

This time it was Liz's turn to stiffen, and try to fight down the whirl of emotions that had overtaken her mind.

"Okay…something definitely changed in a year." Max replied nervously.

"Yeah." Liz murmured distantly, as she tried to process it all.

"What are you thinking?" Max asked curiously.

"I'm thinking that I want to know what changed to the point that some other guy would effect me. I…there's a million words I would use to describe you, Max, and deep would definitely be on the list…you have so much depth I find it almost amazing…there's so much to you. So if I'm talking about a guy that isn't deep…that means a guy other than you. I got involved with someone else."

"We must have been more broken up than either of us thought." Max murmured. "If I went to Tess, and you to some other guy…and it sounds…" Max hesitated before continuing. "It sounds like he helped you through a rough time."

Liz nodded silently, the concern apparent on her face, before Max replied so softly that Liz almost didn't hear him. "I wish I had been there for you."

"Me too." Liz replied gently, seeking out Max's hand and squeezing it softly. "Me too." She repeated, fighting back the tears that were threatening to surface.

"Do you want to continue?" Max asked her curiously.

"Yeah…that's a good idea. It's the last one…"

July 20, 2001

It’s strange how much things can change. How one day life seems so complicated, but at the same time you have everything you want in the world, and how although things are complicated, you wouldn’t change a thing about your life…then suddenly, out of nowhere…it’s all gone. And how one minute, everything seems so horrible, you can’t imagine how everything could possibly get any worse…until it does.

A few months ago I was convinced that I had hit rock bottom, that my life had completely fallen apart...that things had spun totally out of my control, and I hate feeling that powerless over my own destiny. The thing is, that day I had no idea how much worse things would get.

Now, in retrospective, I realize how naïve I was, how stupid…because today, I know without a doubt that my life couldn’t get any worse.

I’ve lost everything now. There’s nothing left for me to live for. I’m just going through the motions of my life. I’m numb, just a shell of the person I used to be, and the irony of it all is that I know I have the capability to repair my life, just by opening myself up to him…by giving him another chance. All I have to do is say the words…but every time the opportunity presents itself, I shut down. I can’t do it, as much as I know that I need to.

I’m just stuck…

"Wow." Max murmured.

"I was in so much pain." Liz gasped softly. "I guess that guy didn't do as much for me as I was trying to make myself believe…"

"July 20th." Max softly mused. "That's right before we lost our memories."

"Three days before…" Liz confirmed, her mind reeling with that knowledge.

"So that was your reaction to whatever has Maria and Isabel so worked up." Max realized suddenly, stiffening again. "God, Liz…did you ever stop to think that maybe you wouldn't want to be with me if you got your memory back? Look at what you're saying here…I hurt you so much it was barely forgivable…whatever I did was that bad."

"No Max." Liz replied hesitantly. "Look at the other words that I'm saying…I was struggling. I wanted to forgive you, but I couldn't. I was trying to…maybe that's why we were both out in Frazier Woods…maybe we were finally talking things out."

"But we can't know for sure." Max insisted. "Maybe we were fighting…maybe something happened while we fought…maybe I did something with my powers in a moment of frustration, and maybe that initiated the memory loss."

"Or maybe we were getting back together!" Liz erupted angrily. "Max…we can't jump to conclusions. We don't know what happened…maybe we were fighting, maybe we were kissing…we're not going to know until it all comes back, and there is absolutely no reason why we should change our present relationship based on assumptions about the past."

"Or maybe we should slow things down…what if we're getting in too deep, and we get our memories back and it makes things harder on us?" Max quietly argued.

"That's a risk I'm willing to take." Liz stubbornly announced. "Are you?"

Max slowly detangled himself from her embrace, and stood up, slowly moving away from her.

"I don't know…I just…I need some time to think." Max admitted. "Why don't I head home, sleep on things…and you should probably do the same…make sure this is what you want. Tomorrow night we'll go on our date, and maybe…maybe then we'll see how things are going."

Liz nodded. "Maybe that's a good idea. We probably just need time to absorb all of this."

She stood and crossed the balcony to Max, hesitantly reaching up to caress his cheek. "Good night, Max." She whispered softly, leaning up and brushing her lips across his, before turning away and heading into her bedroom.

"Good night, Liz." Max replied, like a prayer whispered on his lips as he watched her disappear into the house.

Turning to climb over the ledge, Max felt a cold hand clenching his heart, as he realized what she was saying all night…that he was letting the past dictate his decisions again. Suddenly he found himself filled with regrets, realizing that he needed to make it up to Liz…for both the past and the present.

Smiling softly to himself as he let his feet hit the cement, and headed for his car, Max began making his plans for the date.

posted on 30-Nov-2001 7:02:32 PM by Cookie2697
Araxie - LOL...I was surprised when Liz slapped Max too...kind of took a life of it's own...but she had to knock SOME sense into him right? LOL. It was actually kind of fun to write, and I'm a dreamy dreamer, not a anger-ridden dreamer! LOL!

AJK- Don't worry...Max's doubts won't last ;) They're going on a date, remember, and it will be dreamy! Thanks for the brainstorming help by the way!
posted on 8-Dec-2001 12:48:46 AM by Cookie2697
Author's'cause I have a lot to say before this part...

First of all....sorry this took so long, hope you enjoy. I'm not too happy with this part to be honest...I really, really struggled with it...asked a lot of people for a lot of help, and pretty much I'm sick of fighting with here it is and I just hope it isn't awful! LOL!

Secondly...I talk about stuff in this part that I know absolutely nothing I appologize if I say anything that comes off sounding stupid about Albequerque, or hot air balloons...because I've never been there or experienced that.

Thirdly...big thank yous go to Phae and Cathi for their help with this part...they came up with the hot air balloon idea and I appreciate it immensely. Also thanks have to go to Carol, AJK, Mel and Jez for listening to me bitch and moan in frustration as they helped me brainstorm. It DID help...regardless of what a pain I was!!!

It may take me a bit of time on the next chapter. Remember that comment I made before about how I wanted some upcoming stuff to be PERFECT? Well the next chapter is what I was talking I'm going to put some special care into it...but I'll try to get it done soon! I've been DYING to write it, so that always helps *happy*

On to the chapter! I hope you enjoy!


Part 25

This time, what I want is you,
There is no one else,
Who can take your place,
This time, you burn me with your eyes,
You see past all the lies,
You take it all away.

I try, to make my way to you,
But still I feel so lost,
I don’t know what else I can do.

Cause I’ve seen it all,
It was never enough,
It keeps leaving me needing you.

Take me away,
Take me away,
I’ve got nothing left to say,
Just take me away.

Don’t give up on me yet,
Don’t forget who I am,
I know I’m not there yet,
But don’t let me stay here alone.

Take me away,
Take me away,
I’ve got nothing left to say,
Just take me away.

"So where are we going anyway?" Liz asked playfully, as Max pulled the Chevelle out onto the old highway.

Max smirked at Liz for an instant before turning his eyes back to the road. "It's a surprise." He chuckled.

Liz smiled happily at his response, turning her head to watch the beautiful trees go flying by as they headed further and further away from town.

Max had picked her up in the late afternoon, not long after school had gotten out, happy and carefree, and showing no signs of doubt, which left Liz breathing a sigh of relief. When she had brought up the night before, Max had just frowned and suggested that they talk about it later when things were more private, rather than talking about it in the middle of town. He just wanted to get away from it all.

That was where his plan for the evening came from. He needed to get Liz completely alone, away from all the distractions of the world. His mother had been more than helpful, especially when she heard that he was taking Liz out. Apparently his mom had a really high opinion of Liz and was thrilled to help with their relationship. She had eagerly prepared the picnic basket in the trunk for their dinner.

The desert surrounded them, the afternoon sun glinting off of the barren landscape, as the sun slowly lowered in the distance. They had been traveling down the highway towards Albuquerque, an unusual course of action for any Roswell teens, who rarely left the small town, boring as it was. As much as Liz pushed though, Max refused to give in to temptation, insisting that she would know what was going on soon enough.

Max surprised Liz by pulling off the highway about five miles out of Albuquerque, heading out into the desert towards a plateau in the distance.

"Max?" Liz asked one more time curiously as the plateau grew steadily closer.

"You'll see." Max laughed, causing Liz to groan in frustration, as he pulled the car to a stop beneath the rocks, opening his door and stretching his legs.

"This is it?" Liz asked curiously.

"This is the final stop for this train." Max joked. "All passengers are required to exit their cars, grab some supplies from the trunk, and follow me."

Liz grinned, always enjoying Max's playful attitude, as she opened the door and stepped out, following Max to the trunk of the car, where he pulled out a picnic basket, and handed Liz a large blanket.

"Come on, we're going to the top." Max explained, gesturing to the rocks before him, leading Liz towards a path on the side, and heading to the top. It was a relaxing hike, but Liz was relieved when they reached the top, ready to start whatever it was that Max had planned.

Max took the blanket from Liz's hands, spreading it across the flat rock face, and gesturing for Liz to sit, as he began unpacking the picnic basket, spreading the food before them. It was a simple picnic dinner…sandwiches, chips, and drinks, but perfect for the night, as Liz leaned back on her arms and stared off into the distance.

They had a perfect view of Albuquerque from where Liz was sitting, and she could see the city spread across the desert floor in the distance, amazed at how small it looked, compared to how large it actually seemed to her as a small town girl.

Liz squinted her eyes suddenly at the sight before her, as on the far side of the city, probably in the distant desert, she saw a huge, red balloon suddenly drifting upwards toward the sky.

"Max!" She gasped, "Do you see that?"

"Yup." Max replied, his smile evidenced in his voice, as Liz giggled ecstatically as another balloon, this one striped with a rainbow of colors went drifting upwards. "Have you ever been to this before? It's the annual hot air balloon festival in Albuquerque. My family went a few times when I was younger…there's pictures of us there hanging around the house. I can't remember what it was like, and it just looked so cool, I thought it would be fun for us."

"It's beautiful." Liz murmured in awe as she watched another balloon head slowly upwards.

"It's going to be going on all weekend." Max explained. "This is actually mostly just the trial runs, but I thought it would be fun to watch…and it would give us a chance to get away together and just…talk."

"Yeah…we need to do that, don't we?" Liz realized, sighing as she turned her eyes away from the unforgettable image of the balloons against the sunset, and met Max's gaze.

"I'm sorry about last night, Liz." Max stated firmly. "I was acting totally on my fears and emotions…I didn't mean to pull away like that. We both swore we would never do that to each other, and I just totally ignored it all. I'm sorry."

"Max…it's okay to be scared." Liz comforted him gently.

"But that's the thing, Liz. I'm not scared of this…of us. I know that you are what I want, Liz, and I never want you to ever doubt that."

"What are you afraid of Max?" Liz asked, gently studying his gaze as she waited anxiously for his reply.

"I think what I'm afraid of is the search that we're on for answers. We haven't even stopped to think about what it is that we're searching for…and everyone around us is telling us that we don't want to know. I can't help wondering if maybe they're right. And the thing is, Liz…I'd rather not know if it meant that I would loose you in the process."

"Is that really what you want, Max?" Liz wondered curiously.

"Yeah. I think so." Max confirmed a bit hesitantly, remembering Liz's obsessive reaction to finding her journal the night before. Suddenly he found himself doubting again…but this time doubting whether Liz would agree with him on this decision.

"I'm okay with that." Liz finally replied, making Max sigh heavily in relief. "The thing is, Max…the reason I wanted to find those answers so badly wasn't to find out whatever it was that tore us apart…it was to find whatever it was that brought us together. From the first moment I saw you in the hallway at school I just knew that you were important to me…that feeling is so powerful, I just wanted to know where it came from."

"And we discovered that last night." Max finished for her.

"Exactly." Liz confirmed with a soft smile. "So I can move on now that I understand that connection I felt. You saved my life Max…sometimes I wonder how I could ever forget that…but even now I desperately wish I could remember it the way I want to. How do you think it happened."

"I don't know." Max breathed in a distant voice. "But I can imagine what it would have felt like to be that close to loosing you…to see you dying. I probably could barely breathe, the pain in my heart was so overwhelming."

"And then you realized that you had the power in your hands to save me." Liz whispered, her eyes suddenly focused on his incredible hands, which were clenched in fists of fear.

"Suddenly everything must have changed for me." Max realized in a tone so soft it was barely audible. "For the first time in my life my…my alienness wasn't something to be afraid of. For the first time it must have felt like a gift, as I pushed my way towards your still body, and gently covered the wound with my hand, touching you for the first time, as I lost myself in healing you."

"With that one touch, I must have felt my whole body come back to life…and not just in the literal sense. You must have awakened my whole soul. I felt it the first time I saw you at school. Everything changed in that split second decision on your part."

"And it was worth it." Max swore passionately, as he leaned closer to Liz. "Because regardless of what else happened to us along the way, we're here, now, together."

"Yes…" Liz agreed passionately, as Max leaned closer, capturing her lips hungrily with his own.

posted on 11-Dec-2001 10:01:06 PM by Cookie2697
Hey guys!

I'm so happy I was able to write tonight...once I got in my "zone" as Deidre calls it this part just flowed out. It's the first time I've written a love scene since wow...long delay there *happy* I hope you enjoy...and yes, I know the cut off is Don't kill me TOO much!

Part 26

The way you're bathed in light
Reminds me of that night
God laid me down
Into your rose garden of trust
And I was swept away
With nothing left to say
Some helpless fool
Yeah I was lost in a swoon of peace
You're all I need to find
So when the time is right
Come to me sweetly, come to me
Come to me

Love will lead us, all right
Love will lead us, she will lead us
Can you hear the dolphin's cry?
See the road rise up to meet us
It's in the air we breathe tonight
Love will lead us, she will lead us

Oh yeah, we meet again
It's like we never left
Time in between was just a dream
Did we leave this place?
This crazy fog surrounds me
You wrap your legs around me
All I can do to try and breathe
Let me breathe
So we can go together

Love will lead us, all right
Love will lead us, she will lead us
Can you hear the dolphin's cry?
See the road rise up to meet us
It's in the air we breathe tonight
Love will lead us, she will lead us

Life is like a shooting star
It don't matter who you are
If you only run for cover,
It's just a waste of time
We are lost 'til we are found
This phoenix rises up from the ground
And all these wars are over

Max was devouring Liz with so much desperation that it left Liz's heart pounding in desire. For once the flashes that came rushing over their minds only fueled them on, as in her mind's eye,

Inside her head, Liz found Max picking her up in his arms, and thrusting her onto the counter in the Crashdown kitchen. His body had easily moved between her legs, his arousal pressing against her desperately, as he attacked her mouth with more fervor than she believed possible for anyone. She felt like she was flying, as stars whirled through her vision, Max’s kiss initiating a series of flashes that Liz Parker, a simple human girl, was never supposed to see.

Liz gasped aloud as she twisted herself, desperately pulling closer to Max. He helped her along, tugging her up onto his lap, which she instantly surrendered to, clinging to Max desperately as his hands and lips roamed her body, setting her whole being on fire.

It was overwhelming to her, she was consumed by an insatiable hunger for him…to touch him, to feel him in any way possible. Unable to contain herself, Liz reached for the buttons on Max’s shirt, slowly unbuttoning them, as Max’s lips slowly traveled the length of her neck. She sighed and leaned into his kisses, even as the next flash came over their minds. This one was shorter, quicker…the images were clear, the dialogue fuzzy, but the emotions came across strong, as they were filled with the same hunger, passion, and desire that both halves of the whole were feeling at that moment.

It was hard to separate the flash from the reality, as Liz stripped Max’s shirt away from his skin, opening her eyes to the fact that they were not safely tucked away in Michael’s apartment, but exposed out in the desert where any passerbys could see them. Still, it didn’t slow them…Liz’s hands traveled Max’s chest expertly, as she explored every line, every inch of his skin, as he continued to focus on the addictive taste of their melding lips.

Liz pulled back suddenly, surprising Max as she paused, taking a moment to just gaze into his eyes intensely, before she reached for the hem line of her shirt, slowly pulling it upwards. The last thing Liz saw in Max’s eyes before their gaze was broken was the widening of his eyes, as he realized what she was saying with her simple gesture.

Her shirt discarded to the side, Liz met Max’s eyes again bravely, and found herself shocked at the shining hint of tears glistening there.

“Liz…are you sure?” Max choked out, his voice wavering with emotion.

“Yes.” Liz replied simply, reaching up and gently stroking the rough stubble that covered his jaw line. “I love you, Max. I want you.”

Liz’s eyes widened as she watched Max’s eyes, seeing the result that her simple words had over him. First disbelief swept into his passion filled eyes, then amazement, love, joy, until one emotion overwhelmed them all and made Liz’s heart begin to flutter in anticipation as quickly everything began to change.


The quick flash of determination in his eyes was all the warning Liz had before the very air around them began to shift, almost take a life of its own. Max’s arms came around her, as he suddenly eased Liz to the ground, moving himself over her, as his lips swiftly attacked hers again.

His passion unleashed, Max was like a starving creature getting his fill for the first time, his lips drinking hers in with a new insistency, and his hands gently exploring her newly exposed chest. Liz arched upward into his touch, the feeling of his hands on her body overwhelming her and taking control of her own actions.

New sensations began to charge through her as she thrust her hips upward and their lower bodies met for the first time. Liz hadn’t anticipated the effect the brief contact with Max’s growing arousal would have on them both. This time it was Max’s turn to gasp aloud, and Liz dropped down again, afraid that she had moved too quickly for them.

Max immediately proved her wrong. The separation of their bodies had been too much for him after that first, hesitant touch, and his own body followed hers down, as he pressed his arousal against her.

“Max!” Liz gasped, thrilled by the shock coursing through her…still, it was strangely familiar, and within an instant, without even a flash to accompany it, a memory popped into her mind, of a night long in the past, where she and Max had been in the same position…alone in the desert, a blanket beneath them, their bodies hungrily pressing together as their lips devoured each other.

“Something is happening.” Liz moaned against his lips, her arms wrapping around his neck as she clung close to his body, as if she were going to fly away with the emerging memories.

“I know.” Max breathed. “I can feel it too.”

“Don’t stop.” Liz begged, arching up into him again.

“I can’t…” Max cried, as his hands slid down to the line of her jeans. “It’s like something is pushing me on.”

“I know.” Liz agreed breathlessly. “It’s amazing!”

A part of Liz’s mind was aware that Max’s hands had unfastened her jeans and were slowly sliding them down, but she was distracted, focused on the new memory that was resurfacing within her mind. It was a night, long before, the first time they had professed their love to each other, in an overturned van in an abandoned car lot. They were so desperate, so afraid…Max had just escaped from the FBI and they were on the run, certain that their lives were over. Desperation had filled them then too…desperation to be together as if it were their last chance. Life had seemed way too short that night.

“Oh God!” Liz exploded, Max’s lips bringing her straight back to reality as he hungrily began devouring her intimately. His tongue was working magic, bringing her to new heights as she felt the tension deep within her beginning to build.

Liz was a wreck, shaking and moaning Max’s name over and over again as he brought her quickly over the edge. Max could feel it the moment she began to unravel, and quickly moved upwards, gathering her up in his arms and stroking her gently as tears initiated by the intensity of the moment began to flow down her cheeks as she rode out the waves of pleasure.

Eventually they slowed, but Liz’s emotions were still over the edge as she turned to Max and quickly pressed her lips to his, hungrily kissing him as her hands slid lower to Max’s own still covered arousal. She quickly rectified his situation, stripping him down to join her.

“I love you.” Liz suddenly whispered, breaking the verbal silence that had overtaken them, as she slid her hand down to gently stroke Max for the first time.

He hissed at her touch, his eyes darting up to meet hers, as with a gaze he professed his undying love to her without words.

Their voices may have stayed silent, but they were saying it all with their mixing emotions, with their simple gestures, with the gentle way they touched each other as they explored the range of their love.

Hesitantly, Liz lead Max to position himself over her, her eyes begging him to complete their joining, to end their desperate need for completion.

Max smiled softly at her in response, cupping her cheek lovingly, and gently brushing his lips over hers one last time before with a quick thrust, he entered her completely.

That was when all hell broke loose.

posted on 11-Dec-2001 10:28:51 PM by Cookie2697
Oh...I forgot! I was just flipping through the thread and I really did forget to say a big thank you to y'all for being SO supportive about the last part...I really did struggle a lot with it so it left me feeling pretty uncertain!

Again...sorry for the cliffhanger, but how about if I admit to you that I'm already going on the next part and I'm going to try to get it up tomorrow...would that be good?
posted on 12-Dec-2001 5:29:21 PM by Cookie2697
Oh Jane!!! you are as evil as I am!!!! Here I am being bad and checking my feedback at work and yours just made me literally burst out laughing loudly...I'm lucky I didn't get caught! ROTF!!!

I plan to post tonight...I'm off in a half hour or so and then home to write I go!!!
posted on 12-Dec-2001 11:25:24 PM by Cookie2697
Part 27

I will meet you in some place
Where the light lends itself to soft repose
I will let you undress me
But I warn you I have thorns like any rose
And you could hurt me with your bare hands
You could hurt me with the sharp end of what you say
But I'm lost to you now
There’s no amount of reason to save me

So break me take me
Just let me fill your arms again
Break me I'll let you make me
Just let me feel your love again

Feels like being underwater
Now that I've let go and lost control
Water kisses fill my mouth
Water fills my soul

So break me take me
Just let me fill your arms again
Break me make me
Just let me feel your love again

The memories began surging through Liz’s mind so suddenly, they consumed her whole being. It almost seemed out of nowhere, completely out of context with their present moment. The pain filled her heart so completely, sharp and agonizing, that she didn’t even notice the sting as Max took her virginity. All she heard were the words in her mind…all she felt was the stinging blow to her heart, as it all came flooding back to her in that single instant.

“Liz, there's something I need to tell you. It's about Tess and me...”

“You're together now, I know.”

“It's more than that. Our relationship is…uh, we spent the night together. Liz...Tess is pregnant.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“It can't survive here, he's dying... We're leaving.”


“We're going back.”
“Back? When is this happening?”

“Tomorrow, just after dawn.”

“You can't leave before this is resolved.”

“The way the granolith works...”

“I don't really want to hear about how the damn…”

“I know you don't…”

“You can't just leave us with a killer out there.”

“I don't have a choice!”

“Not anymore, but you did and then you got Tess pregnant!”

“I know you're upset.”

“I…I trusted you, I gave you everything. I jumped off bridges for you, I broke laws for you, I risked getting shot for you, I trusted you! And you go off…God, with Tess? God, I saved myself for you!”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Max stop! It was Tess. Tess killed Alex.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I've been really wrong about a lot. But I was right about one thing: To get you into my life, to be around you, to love you.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"We let her beat us. I mean, look at us. We're not even living. It didn't have to be this way. She took so much from us when she left…but she hadn't won yet. We were still here…we were still living. We had a chance then to take our lives back…but we've let that chance slip away, Liz, and now look at us. We're just…empty."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I’m nothing without you…”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Oh God, Liz…” Max cried out as he found himself returning to the present, the memories fading from his mind. His hips were slowly, gently rocking against hers in a steady rhythm, causing a surge of pleasure to overtake him. Closing his eyes, Max abandoned himself to the sensations coursing through him, his dream coming true before him, the one thing he had ever wanted…Liz…finally back in his arms. And now he could also remember just how miraculous this moment truly was for him. He was making love to the only girl he had ever wanted.


Max’s eyes suddenly flew open, as he gazed down at Liz, concern flooding him as he stilled his motions, and with one glance his worst fear was confirmed.

He wasn’t the only one to regain his memories.

Beneath him, Liz’s eyes were closed, her face contorted in pain, as tears streaked down her cheeks.

A cold fear clenched Max’s heart…this wasn’t how he would have wanted it to happen. The most special moment in their newly budding relationship was now mixed thoroughly with the painful knowledge of his past mistakes. For Liz in particular it must be devastating. He needed to do something, anything to make it better for her.

“Liz…” Max murmured gently, shamefully, as he slowly brought a hand to her face, caressing her cheek with a feather-light brush, before cupping her face in his hands and gently wiping away her tears. “God, Liz…I’m so sorry.” Max cried, gently stroking her cheeks, praying that she would just open her eyes and look at him.

His wish was answered as her eyes opened, meeting his own, a distant look in her eyes, like she wasn’t even there…completely emotionally removed from Max.

“I can’t believe you slept with her.” Liz mumbled, her voice steady, distant. Her words tore at Max’s heart, filling him with all the guilt that had been buried within him for the past six months.

“It was the biggest mistake of my life.” Max admitted, his own tears beginning to fill his eyes. He glanced down shamefully, unable to hold her gaze any longer, and stiffened, when he found himself focused on miles of Liz’s bare skin. He had forgotten where they were, what they were doing. Stiffening, Max realized that he probably wasn’t helping Liz out, filling her the way he was at that moment. It was the last thing he wanted to do at that moment, but slowly he began to pull away.

“Max…no.” Liz suddenly cried, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him back down against her. Max found himself staring at her in disbelief, as she leaned up and hungrily attacked his lips. He was still frozen in shock as she began moving her hips against his again, which slowly pulled him back to life, as her actions initiated a surge of desire rushing through his whole being.

Max couldn’t resist joining her in the dance of their bodies, thrusting against her as he pulled his lips back, gazing into her eyes as he gently asked, “Liz…are you sure?”

“We can’t let her beat us.” Liz replied firmly, leaning up and pressing her lips against him once again.

“Oh God I love you!” Max moaned against her lips, abandoning himself to the sensations flowing through him as their bodies began moving more insistently in rhythm with each other. The tension and desire began to quickly build, and Max lost himself in the new feelings coursing through him, the love in his heart aching powerfully for her, as he lost himself in the pleasure of their lovemaking. Their bodies tuned in to each other’s needs almost naturally, as they reached their peaks in unison, clinging desperately to each other as they plunged over the edge of oblivion.

posted on 13-Dec-2001 12:22:46 AM by Cookie2697
Okay...want to stop and make a comment...

I was SO afraid that y'all would KILL me for this part...for choosing that moment for it to all come back to them...yes, as Araxie guessed, their full memories.

My reasoning? Max and Liz were the key to each other's memories. No one else could help them remember, not in the slightest, and as they took their small physical steps in their relationship...touching, was like peeking through the keyhole, but only by completing their joining could they truly unlock the memories and open the door.

As for Liz's reaction...let's just say that was only the beginning. Adjustment time is a must. But the way I figure the moment that they regained their memories, they couldn't take back what they were doing together...they were already in the process, so Liz figured they may as well finish...not let Tess come between that moment for them.

Plus along with all the memories coming back, they do still have the memories of the last few close they much in love they were.

Once it all sinks in though...we'll see *happy*

Thanks again y'all... I'm glad to know you don't hate me *happy*
posted on 18-Dec-2001 11:23:59 PM by Cookie2697
Thanks Jez!

Part 28

Oh no, I see,
I spun a web, it's tangled up with me,
And I lost my head,
And thought of all the stupid things I said,

Oh no what's this?
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,
I turned to run,
And thought of all the stupid things I've done,

I never meant to cause you trouble,
And I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
Oh no, I never meant to do you harm.

Oh no I see,
A spider web and it's me in the middle,
So I twist and turn,
Here I am in love in a bubble,

Singing, I never meant to cause you trouble,
I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
Although I never meant to do you harm

The sunset slowly faded into the murky blackness that came with the night, the stars slowly coming to light over head, as Max and Liz lay silently in each other’s arms. Neither of them had said a word to each other since their memories returned…Max was waiting for Liz to initiate it for fear that he’d be pushing her too quickly, but Liz wasn’t saying anything, so they just sat wordlessly together for what seemed like eternity.

The night was no longer young when Liz finally moved, pushing herself away from Max, before gathering her clothes and slowly dressing. Max followed her lead, watching her regretfully as she slipped into her jeans without so much as a glance in his direction.

“Could you take me home?” Liz suddenly asked so quietly that Max almost didn’t hear her…almost.

He blinked at her words, completely and utterly confused. Her voice was distant again, unemotional and removed, causing a chill to fill his heart. After what they had just experienced, what had happened between them, he expected something, anything…either pain, or anger, or love…but there was just nothing. It was like she wasn’t even there.

Max deperately tried to meet her eye, praying that he could read something, anything in her gaze to give him a clue about what she was thinking…what she was feeling. Anything, besides this incredible emptiness.

But Liz refused to meet his eyes, looking anywhere other than him…at the sky, at the ground. Her own two feet were more interesting than he was at that moment. It left him feeling low, inhuman…like he was nothing at all to her, even after all they had just shared.

Max nodded almost mechanically as he moved around them, cleaning up their picnic, and folding the basket, until he finished and followed Liz down the embankment to where the jeep lay below.

He understood why she was avoiding him…avoiding his eyes, avoiding conversation, avoiding any physical contact. He knew what a bastard he probably was at that moment. He had slept with the enemy, gotten her pregnant, and then thought that he could just turn around and continue things with her the way they had been in the past.

But the memory loss had screwed everything up. It had made them both feel again, as easily as they had before Tess had disrupted their quasi-normal lives. And then they had given in to it…

For some reason, Max couldn’t help wondering if loving Liz at that moment had been the worst mistake of his life…even if they had both wanted it.


The silence was suffocating, consuming both Max and Liz during their drive home from Albuquerque. Neither of them said a word to each other for the whole two hours, and Liz wouldn’t even look in his direction. Her eyes were locked on her window, into the murky nothingness of the blackened night, as the miles stretched past them.

Still, with all of the tension, all of the anguish coming off the couple in waves, Max couldn’t help thinking that he needed to cherish every second of this time with Liz. He couldn’t shake the fear that now that they both remembered everything, this was going to be the end of them. Now that she knew the truth again, Liz would never be able to forgive him, particularly after going through the discovery of his betrayal twice.

Pulling up to the front of the Crashdown at the end of the night felt like walking into his deathbed. For an instant he wished he had automatic locks on his car so that he could keep Liz there beside him, but he knew that wasn’t an option. Max dreaded that Liz was going to get out of the car, turning to run into the house without looking back, and Max was going to feel his heart break…again.

The strange thing was, she didn’t. Or at least, she didn’t right away.

Max pulled the Chevelle into an empty parking space beneath the dim, unlit Crashdown sign, and sat stiff and still, waiting for Liz to run from him. Surprisingly she stayed too, just sitting and staring out the window as she had the whole drive. Max felt like screaming from frustration, unsure exactly what was going on with her. She didn’t want to talk to him, but she didn’t want to run from him either.

What did she want from him now?

Her eyes finally turned and met his, and Max couldn’t help shivering at the sight of the emptiness in them. She looked sad, haunted. He couldn’t decide what was worse…her unwillingness to even look at him, or the pain that filled his heart when she finally did. For the first time Max realized just how much the resurfacing knowledge of his betrayal had hurt her. No matter what he did, he always seemed to end up hurting her…the last thing he ever wanted to do.

I think that what I'm afraid of isn't that we try this and it works out really badly. What I'm afraid of is we try it and it works out really well. I'm afraid of feeling everything that I know I would feel. Because I know it's not meant to be. And somewhere down the line, we're gonna get hurt. I can live with that. I just couldn't bear to hurt you.

“Liz…” He murmured sadly in a soft, apologetic voice, breaking the silence, as he remembered those words he spoke to her two years earlier when their relationship had still been so young and new. Max watched as a slight reaction flickered through her gaze, but it returned so quickly that he wondered if he just imagined it before she began to speak.

“Max, I need some time.” She started softly. “All of this…everything that happened. It’s just so much to take at once. It’s overwhelming, and I need to think on it all before I know what’s going to happen, where we stand.”

Max nodded quickly. “Anything you need, Liz. I’ll wait for you forever if I need to.”

Liz smiled sadly in response. “I don’t know, Max. You may have to. Or you may not be able to. You need to think too, Max. You have a lot of decisions to make for yourself, like what to do about…” Liz paused, closing her eyes in pain for a long moment before continuing. “About your son, Max.”

There was a long silence, as Max let her words sink in. He had been so focused on their relationship, that he didn't even start to think about picking up where he left off on the other side of your life.

“You may find yourself come out in a completely different place once you let this all sink in.” Liz continued softly, blinking back the tears that were threatening to fall. “And so could I.” She determined quickly. “So just give me some space for a little while to think.”

Without another word, Liz opened the door and flew from the car without looking back, just as Max had feared. However, he found himself sitting and watching her departure, replaying the scene over and over again in his mind for a long while, letting her words sink across his mind.

You have a lot of decisions to make for yourself, like what to do about…about your son, Max. You may find yourself come out in a completely different place once you let this all sink in.

Even as he sat in his car beneath her window, Max knew she was right…that he did need to think on everything that had occurred between them. He hadn’t allowed any of it to sink in yet, and he didn’t just mean his resurfaced memories.

He hadn’t fully accepted yet what he had done with Tess, what he had given up when he allowed her to freely leave the planet without him. He hadn’t accepted what that truly did to Liz, and she knew it. She had been watching him spend the weeks after Tess’s departure desperately trying to win her back, and not taking responsibility for his own mistakes.

And suddenly, without a doubt, Max knew that it was time for him to grow up. He had a child out there somewhere, and regardless of whether he would ever be able to be a part of that child’s life, he needed to at least acknowledge that his life was irrevocably changed because of it.

As for Liz…he needed to give her the space that she deserved, and this time whatever she decided, he would respect it.

He just prayed with every bone within him that whatever path she chose, it would lead her back to his side.

posted on 19-Dec-2001 1:26:40 AM by Cookie2697
Hey you guys...

Just wanted to stop and say that I know that this part wasn't very feel good...but trust me *happy* Liz has GOT to be confused right now...Max too for that matter. They just went through some major stuff, and they probably need time to sort things out. That WASN'T a break up. Just space, that's all.

Just so you know...I'm only a few parts from the end right goal is to finish it before the end of the year...does that sound hopeful? I have 2 weeks...I'm going to try to post another part before the weekend. Wish me luck!
posted on 19-Dec-2001 6:55:27 PM by Cookie2697
Actually I'm in complete and total agreement there. I'm a HUGE believer in the fact (not theory...FACT) that it was as much Liz's fault as Max's. SHE pushed Max to Tess. SHE broke his heart again and again. In fact, in a lot of ways she's to blame for the less sympathetic Max we see on the show now, because this is what he became when he lost hope. He lost hope because Liz basically crushed his hope...and then the Tess thing happened, and to be honest, I think it's going to take a long time for Max to be redeemed of that. I think some of what we're seeing on the show is Max's desperation because of his own faults and mistakes.

BUT anyways...I'm going to stop right there, because I don't like having show debates on my fic threads. That's what the discussion boards are for, and I've gotten seriously pissed at people in the past for doing just what I'm doing right now, so excuse me while I slap my typing hand...ouch...okay...better!

So I got a little burst of inspiration during my lunch break at work today...I've been home for 20 min only and my fic is already open on my computer, the song is already picked, and I'm going to start writing once my e-mail is sorted and answered....which means there IS a possibility of a new part tonight...but a lot of that depends on whether my burst of inspiration is long enough to last a whole chapter! eep!

With what I now have in my head, I'm predicting that there are only 2 chapters to go...are you guys ready for the end?
posted on 19-Dec-2001 7:44:17 PM by Cookie2697
Don't worry about it *happy*'s not that big of a deal! What my real concern is, if we go into bashing...that's why I want the discussion it CAN'T turn into bashing *happy* I totally respect your opinions and totally am all for them being expressed, just concerned with it here.
posted on 21-Dec-2001 9:56:39 AM by Cookie2697

Thanks for pointing that out to me burntofferings!!! That WAS an error on my part. You know...I just love the jeep SO much that for an instant I forgot that he's gone *sniffle*

Thanks for reading....I'm really glad to hear you enjoyed. In some ways I think this fic can be easier to read for people who come in late and catch up because I know the opening was SO hard for people because it was SUCH a downer. Then again, look where I'm at now. part...soon! I HAVE started it...I wanted to post it yesterday, but then I had some issues I needed to deal with and it kind of took over my mind for the night yesterday...not fun stuff. But hopefully today. I've got tix to see Lord of the Rings tonight, so that might steal me away though. If not tonight then tomorrow for sure *happy*

Thanks for reading and all the awesome feedback! Y'all are SO inspiring for me! It really means a lot to me!

Back soon!
posted on 25-Dec-2001 11:42:20 AM by Cookie2697
I know, I know, and I feel AWFUL that I haven't gotten it out yet, but the last few days have been insane. It is actually driving me quite nuts, because I have the next part in my head, and I know exactly what is going to happen moment by moment, but I can't find the time to pop it out...every time I manage to think I have the time, I sit down at the computer, click on word, and someone from my family cries: "Oh Anne! We need to do this...or that...or WHATEVER!" All I know is I'M going nuts, and I'm hoping to do it next day off with no plans except to see the Shipping News, so wish me luck!

I'm really sorry it's taken me so is BEYOND frustrating. Besides being unable to write, I've been unable to read or check my e-mail too...even now I have 5 more minutes on the computer :( Sorry about the delay and HOPEFULLY y'all will hear from me tomorrow!
posted on 27-Dec-2001 5:52:22 AM by Cookie2697
Hey all!

Sorry this took me so long to get out...the holidays were a little crazier than I expected. I kept planning in my writing time, and then something else would come up and keep me away from the computer. It was driving me nuts! But I'm hopefully back now...and look...a new chapter! I'm still figuring out the ending. I'm wondering if I can do it in one more chapter like I predicted, but it may end up being two...we'll see. Anyways, I hope you like...

I saw the Shipping News tonight...Jason was adorable in it...just had to share *happy*

Hope you enjoy *happy*

Part 29

Everything's so blurry
And everyone's so fake
And everybody's empty
And everything is so messed up
Pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I'll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what you're doing
Imagine where you are
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far

Everyone is changing
There's no-one left that's real
To make up your own ending
And let me know just how you feel
'Cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I will save you
From all of the unclean
I wonder what you're doing
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far

Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
When you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
When you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me


It’s September 18th, I’m Liz Parker, and it is such a relief to be able to say that again without any doubt at all in my mind. Now that I’ve had my memories back for two days, I’ve had a lot of time to think, on so many different things, and everything always comes back to Max.

It was two years ago today that Max Evans walked into my life, pressing his healing hands to the fatal wound on my chest, and forever changing my life.

Since recovering my memories, I’ve been reliving every moment humanly possible, reminiscing about almost everything possible. It’s funny…you don’t realize just how precious all your memories are until you’ve lost them, but now I thrive off of them, and for the first time I’ve realized the never ending cycle that Max and I seem stuck in. We seem to be continuously putting each other through these incredible amounts of pain, but somehow, through it all, we always manage to find our way back to each other…and all of it seems to have this intense underlying theme.

Maybe we are meant to be together.

I feel naïve even thinking that after all that has happened, but still…I’m so confused, so torn on everything that has happened between us.

If it isn’t complicated then he probably isn’t a soulmate…that was some of the last advice that Grandma Claudia gave me before she died, and I’ve thought about it a lot lately, because things with Max are beyond complicated.

I know he made some serious mistakes, sleeping with Tess, following his destiny, but the thing is that he knows that, and I know that he knows that. I feel petty, lingering on that now when right before we lost out memories I was ready to let it go…but that’s the problem with getting your memories back, everything seems new to you, both the good memories and the bad. In that moment when I remembered everything, it was like reopening the wound in my heart, and now I’m just desperately trying to mend it.

And right along side of all of the resurfacing pain, there’s something else that is loaded down on my mind…the fact that I gave myself to Max, freely and willingly. I don’t know if I would take it back now, I just wish I could remember it as clearly as all of the painful memories that came back in that moment. We did make love, but at the same time we didn’t, because it wasn’t about us. It may have started being about us, but the moment the flashes started the whole moment changed…it was about the memories, our memories. So at the same time, it both happened, and it didn’t.

I can’t help wondering, as I sit here alone on my balcony, what exactly it meant to Max…or if wherever he is right now, he’s just as confused as I am about the whole situation. Or if he’s thinking of me at all…

~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~

Max sighed, a long wisp of air rushing from his lungs as he stood beneath the star-brushed sky, slowly shutting the door of his car as he stared upwards at the huge rock formation towering above him.

He expected it to look different, after all that had gone down here a mere four months earlier, but it looked exactly the same as it did the first time he saw it a year and a half before. It was strange that it didn’t after the huge explosion they experienced when the granolith took off months before.

Max clenched his fists in anger at the thought of that day, the last fatal day before everything had changed for him. It was that day that he realized for the first time just how lost he was, how far he had strayed from the path that he belonged on. Tess had played him like a fool, and he was so caught up in his misery from losing Liz, that he willingly followed.

There were so many what ifs stuck in his head. What if he had just stayed strong? What if he hadn’t gone to Tess? What if he had believed his heart rather than his eyes when it came to Liz and Kyle? What if he listened to his heart when it told him that Liz was still in love with him?

But he couldn’t allow himself to think like that. The past was the past, and he could do nothing to fix it. What he could do however, was let the past go, say goodbye to all of his mistakes, all of his wrong doings, and take a step back in the right direction, find his way back to the path he had strayed from. He needed to find his way back to Liz…and he couldn’t do that until he was sure that everything with Tess was over.

Summoning all of the courage within him, Max made his way up the path towards the entrance to the cave where he was born.

As the rock rumbled away, Max sucked in his breath in shock at the sight awaiting him. The rocks outside may not have changed, but the cave within was drastically different.

The first change that stood out to Max before he entered was the lighting inside. The last time he had stepped inside the cave, there was a dim, greenish glow lighting the now dark interior. A light that Max guessed must have originated from the granolith. Now that the ship was gone, there was nothing left to light the room.

Instantly Max held his hands into the hair, allowing a soft glow to emanate from them, lighting the cave. What Max saw made his heart race, both with excitement, and with sadness.

The cave had been completely destroyed by the falling rocks which had consumed the place as Tess had taken off. As far as Max could tell, it was now just a normal cave. The pods had been destroyed, all the secret chambers had been destroyed. The once expansive cavern now spanned only a few feet before him.

Without a second glance, Max turned and left the cave without turning back.

There was no longer any doubt in his mind. Tess and his son were gone, his only way home destroyed. There was no way to get him back, no way to contact home, and no way to return to save his people as the granolith had been intended.

His future was finally free…free for him to be with Liz.

A soft smile on his face, Max returned to his car and sped quickly away from the rocks.

He just hoped that Liz was ready for him, because any doubts in his mind were completely gone.

~~ ~~~ ~~~~

It had been a busy night in the Crashdown, or at least it seemed like it must have been by the incredible mess Liz found in the dining room as she came downstairs after writing in her journal. Her parents had been giving her more time off than she needed since she had lost her memory, and although that Sunday night was a night that Liz normally would have worked, instead Maria and Agnes had been left to fight the masses.

Now only Maria was left, sweeping the restaurant floor as Liz stepped into the room.

“Need some help?” Liz asked softly, shutting the door behind her as she headed over to her best friend.

“Hey.” Maria greeted her friend as she entered the room and started collecting the salt and pepper shakers for refilling. “Thanks…you know Agnes. The moment I locked the door she was gone. She can’t stand to work a second of overtime.”

“Yeah, that’s Agnes for you.” Liz laughed softly.

Maria glanced up at the pensive look on her friend’s face from across the room curiously, before asking nonchalantly, “So, I haven’t seen you at all this weekend. What have you been up to? Did you have a hot date with Max or something?”

“Yeah…something.” Liz murmured softly for a moment, before stopping in her work and turning to her friend. “I got my memory back, Maria…all of it.”

The broom hit the floor with a loud crash, the only noise for a long moment as Maria stared at Liz in shock, barely believing her ears. It was the one thing she had been waiting to hear for months, and now that it had happened, Maria didn’t even know how to react. She just stood there for a long moment, staring silently at Liz in shock, before quietly murmuring, “All of it?”

“Everything.” Liz confirmed with a sad smile.

“When? How?” Maria gaped.

“Friday night…with Max. His are back too. I can’t really go into how, but we’re both okay now.”

There was another long silence, as Maria let it all sink in.

“I’ve missed you so much.” Maria finally cried, rushing at her friend and wrapping her arms around her in a tight hug. “It was so scary, Liz. It was like I lost you, but you were still there right in front of me…just not you. I didn’t know what to say, what to do around you.”

“Maria…you were fine.” Liz comforted her friend. “You handled me just fine.”

“I did?” Maria asked meekly.

“Yeah…well, except for one thing.” Liz paused for a moment, before turning slightly harder eyes on her friend. “Maria…I’m not happy with you for how you handled me and Max. I know that you’re just trying to protect me, but you have to let me make my own decisions, and respect them when my mind is made up.” Liz sighed, pulling back from her friend and pacing away for a long moment.


Liz cut Maria off quickly. “Please, just let me finish. There are things you don’t know, Maria…like that Max and I did get back together right before we lost our memories. I made that choice even knowing everything.”

“You did? Liz…but why?” Maria gaped. “After all that he put you through.”

“I love him, Maria. He’s my soulmate. It isn’t supposed to be easy. Maybe this is like our test, like we only deserve the happiness we can find together if we prove ourselves worthy by overcoming all obstacles first.”

“Do you really believe that?” Maria asked softly.

“Yes, I think I do.” Liz confirmed with a soft smile. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have found my way back to him when I didn’t even know who he was.”

[ edited 2 time(s), last at 27-Dec-2001 1:41:11 PM ]
posted on 27-Dec-2001 1:43:09 PM by Cookie2697
Just to clarify, Liz did tell Max that he needs to figure things out on the alien front before he can come back to her, so IMO it's okay, he's just doing what she asked him to do, it's not like he's totally ignoring her or anything *happy*

Thanks for pointing that error out to me scifinut...that's a perfect example of why you shouldn't post fic at 3am! LOL!
posted on 28-Dec-2001 1:52:19 AM by Cookie2697
BelieveInTrueLove originally wrote:
When Max shows up and they talk will he:-
a) Sweep Liz off her feet and take her some place very romantic?
b) Secure them in the restaurant and they will make love on the counter with rose petals raining from the ceiling?
c) Wisk Liz up to her room and erase the memory of Liz and Kyle in Liz's bed?
d) All of the above.

ROTF!!! I love this Jane! Remind me to bug you the next time I'm having trouble coming up with a romantic scene. I loved "B". I actually have a stack of the rose petals from that dream sequence in To Have and To Hold... But as for the ACTUAL answer...hrm...we'll have to wait and of included. Sometimes my muse even takes ME by surprise!

Thanks for the fantastic feedback y'all! It really brightens my day. I will definitely try and get my ass in gear on the next chapter...I'm not going to make any promises on when until I know for sure though...I don't want to torture y'all like I did last week!

Thanks again!

posted on 2-Jan-2002 10:05:41 PM by Cookie2697
Well...this is it. The final part...the very end. I hope it doesn't leave y'all unsatisfied. Admittedly I have guiltily left it open for a possible eventual sequel, but I'm not going to go right into it for a rainy day *happy* But this is just where I wanted this fic to end up. It's been a nice run, I'm really, really happy with it. And I just want to thank all of you who have stuck out the whole rocky ride on this one. Thanks for all the wonderful feedback and support...I really, really appreciate it *happy*


Part 30

Any time that you want
I'll be here in your arms
Silently holding on
To the girl with her charms

But if there comes a day
You should turn your heart away
I'll be down on my knees
Begging for that girl to stay

Anything you desire
I will set at your feet
With a kiss in the air
For the gods to receive
But if there comes a day
You should turn your heart away
I'll be down on my knees
Begging for that girl to stay

Don't let go
Don't let go

~~~ ~~~~ ~~~

Max stood frozen in the doorway of the biology lab for a long moment, just drinking in the sight of her sitting before him at their lab table. All day he had been antsy, just waiting for this moment, for being able to see her, to sit beside her…hopefully to talk to her. It didn’t help his restlessness that he had sensed her around him all day as well, being in such close proximity to her for the first time since that night, even if it was just in the same school. It was as if his whole body was humming in reaction to her, and as he stepped into the lab and saw her sitting there it instantly intensified. Taking a deep breath, Max crossed the room, as her presence quickly drew him in.

The night before, Max had returned home from the pod chamber feeling instantly liberated from all of the weight that had been heavy on his shoulders for months, not counting the time his memory had been missing. The whole weekend in fact had been an ongoing struggle inside of himself, between his renewed obsession with Liz, his desperation to fix the problems between them, and the renewed knowledge of his mistakes.

Liz was correct when she said that he needed to figure things out on that front as well, but since his trip to the pod chamber, he finally felt like he could truly let go of the past, of the memory of Tess and what had happened. She was far away, and couldn’t hurt them anymore.

Since Friday night Max had known without a doubt that he would do anything and everything in his power to ensure the stability of his relationship with Liz…now he finally felt like it was a possibility.

“Hi.” Max murmured to Liz as he took his seat.

Her eyes slowly met his, and they shared a gaze, loaded down with the longing they were both feeling at that moment.

“Hi.” She replied in a soft, sad voice, dropping her eyes and studying the table awkwardly.

“I’m ready to talk…whenever you are.” Max gently announced, watching her closely as her hopeful eyes quickly shot back up to his.

“You are?” She asked curiously.


“Could we go somewhere after class?” Liz suggested. “I’d like to…talk…as well.”

Max nodded in agreement as Mr. Seligman called the class to order, pulling their attention away from each other, although for Max, his thoughts never left Liz for the whole class. He knew what he wanted to say to her…he had been thinking about it all weekend. Now all he had to do was put it into motion, to convince her that they were free to be together after all.

~~~ ~~~~ ~~~

“Here again?” Liz asked with amusement cracking out from her voice, as Max pulled the Chevelle off the highway on the road leading to Frazier Woods. Max glanced up at her obviously surprised to hear her speak…it was the first either of them had broken the silence that had filled them throughout the entire drive. The air in the car seemed to be electrified with tension and anticipation of their upcoming talk, and both of them were attempting to use the time to clear their heads, and figure things out a bit.

“I figured it was appropriate.” Max replied, smiling softly as he stopped the car, and stepped out and around the car to let Liz out.

“Thanks.” Liz murmured as she stepped out of the car, glancing around at their surroundings, as she remembered their last few visits here. Max was right…it was an appropriate spot for their talk. It was here they had come the last time that they had needed to have a serious talk about the future of their relationship…the night that they had lost their memories. And it was also the place their new relationship had been jerked into a reality, as they received their first memory flashes.

“Should we walk?” Max suggested. Liz nodded in agreement, and they set off down the path towards the campgrounds.

Liz sighed, closing her eyes as she drank in the cool, fresh mountain air. Pausing in her thoughts for a long moment as she focused on the feeling inside her that she had been trying desperately to ignore all day…the awareness of Max within her that had seemed to pop to the surface the moment she stepped into the school that morning. The awareness that had become undeniable the moment Max walked into biology lab earlier, and it had focused entirely on his presence. She had barely been able to sit still as she waited for the period to end, so that she could get away with Max and thrive in that presence as she did now.

“Are you okay?” Max asked softly, breaking Liz out of her thoughts, as she opened her eyes to see him gazing at her in that sweet, concerned gaze that she hadn’t seen in such a long time.

“Yeah…I’m fine.” Liz insisted comfortingly, smiling at him. “I just love it here, totally surrounded by nature. It’s peaceful.”

“Yeah.” Max agreed, a hesitant look in his eyes before he continued gently. “I meant about everything that happened though.”

“Oh.” She gazed up at him, touched by his sole concern for her, and wondering when she had grown so awkward with the way he treated her. There was a time, years before, when she would have been used to it…it was a normality in their lives. But then after everything that had happened, over a year of separation, his careful attentiveness felt strange and new…even after their brief memory-free relationship.

“Are you okay?” He asked again, pausing walking as he turned to face her. The concern in his eyes was so touching it almost brought tears to Liz’s eyes, especially since there was still so much they needed to resolve.

“I’m okay.” Liz hesitantly replied. “What about you?”

“I…well, to be honest I’ve never felt so clear about everything as I do right now, Liz. I did what you wanted me to do. I spent a lot of time thinking about everything that had happened, trying to figure out where I need to stand on all of it, and I realized that you’re right. I needed to come to terms with what I did…with everything that happened. So I went out to the pod chamber, to make sure that everything there was as it seemed.”

“Was it?” Liz asked carefully.

“Tess is gone.” Max confirmed. “Probably forever, and my son is too. They’re both out of my reach, Liz. The granolith was our only way home, and now that it is gone there’s nothing I can do to help him. I will always regret what I did, and I will always wish that it could be different, that I could get him back, that he wasn’t with her, but I can’t. What I can do though is everything possible to make it up to you, Liz. I’ve hurt you more than in my worst nightmares, and I want to fix that, Liz. I’m here for good, I’m yours. And you…you’re my whole world, Liz.”

Liz’s heart fluttered as she stared into Max’s eyes, glowing down at hers with love, and suddenly she couldn’t resist reaching up and gently stroking his cheek. It was the first that they had touched all day and Liz gasped at the surge of electricity that seemed flow through her at that exact moment. She was sure that Max felt it too, particularly when he closed his eyes and leaned into her touch.

“Liz…” He murmured her name softly, like a breathless prayer on his lips, before his eyes suddenly shot open and he pulled back. “Liz…I want to be totally honest with you about all of this though.”

“Of course!” Liz exclaimed nervously, wondering what could be that bad that he felt the need to pull away.

“I just…I want to make sure you understand that I didn’t need to see the pod chamber to know that I wanted to be with you. I knew it from the start, Liz. I knew it from the moment I met you, both times, and from the moment I got my memory back I couldn’t help thinking that this was all a dream, that I had you back. You are the most important person in the world to me, and I would die if I lost you again. I couldn’t bear it.”

Max sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration before continuing. “If I had found something out of the ordinary at the pod chamber, this would all be so much harder. I would need to follow up on it, but I don’t think I could without ensuring that we could be together first.”

Liz’s eyes widened at the painful way his eyes darkened before the next shocking words poured out of his mouth.

“And I can’t help feeling like I’m the most horrible person in the world, because I was relieved to find that my son was out of my reach. I was relieved to know that there was nothing I could do about that and relieved to know that it couldn’t come between us anymore.”

“Max, no!” Liz gasped. “Don’t think like that! It isn’t horrible of you for being relieved…it’s just human emotion. You’re right…things would be more complicated between us if you could find a way back to your son. To be honest, I’m relieved too, because we won’t be put in that situation where we’d have to choose. And I know as well as you do that you would take responsibility for him if you could.”

“You’re right…I would.” Max agreed softly.

“And I know that.” Liz pressed firmly. “And I understand that. It’s one of the things I love about you. You take responsibility for your own actions…sometimes even more than you should. And you take care of the people you love, but that’s what you have to remember, Max. This is the one time where you can’t take care of the person you love. He’s gone, Max.”

“I know.” Max breathed so quietly that Liz barely heard him.

“Good.” Liz paused for a moment before continuing. “Max…I’m glad you came to terms with everything. I think it’s one of the reasons that I was so angry with you back when they first left. Because I could tell that you were avoiding dealing with it…that all you could think about was fixing things with me, when there were so many more important things that you needed to deal with at the time.”

“What about now?” Max asked her hopefully. “Are we ready to deal with us now?”

“Yeah.” Liz confirmed with a small smile. “I think we are.”

“Liz, I want to be with you.” Max stated honestly. “I don’t think I could stand it any other way.”

“I want to be with you too.” Liz replied simply.

“I know it’s complicated, and I know it’s hard, but I’m willing to do anything…I just want to make things right between us.”

“Max, it’s only complicated between us because we’ve made it complicated.” Liz suddenly burst out, and judging by the surprise on Max’s face, Liz could tell he never considered that possibility.

“What do you mean?” He asked curiously.

“I just mean that if you look at the last few years, all the complications between us came from us not listening to our hearts, to what we really wanted. We spent too much time overanalyzing our relationship, our lives, your destiny. But the whole time one thing never changed between us, and that was our feelings for each other. Our hearts knew that we belonged together, but our minds kept telling us otherwise and it initiated all the problems between us.”

“Do you really think it can be as easy as that?” Max asked in amazement. “We stop overanalyzing things and everything will be okay?”

“Yeah, I do.” Liz replied honestly.

“God you’re amazing.” Max marveled, and Liz instantly blushed.

“It’s just…I have faith in us, Max. Don’t you?”

“I do.” Max insisted quickly. “I know we can make it work.”

“I know we can too.” Liz murmured softly.

“But Liz…” Max hesitated before continuing. “What about what happened between us the other night. We’re completely avoiding that subject altogether, and we need to talk about it. Are you okay with everything that happened?”

“I’m okay with it.” Liz smiled happily. “In fact, I can’t wait until it happens again. What we did was beautiful, Max. I just wish I could remember it more clearly. I was kind of overwhelmed in the moment by the flashes.”

“Yeah…I know what you mean.” Max agreed.

“Max…I don’t have any regrets about it.” Liz assured him. “My only regret is that we made so many mistakes in the past…but we can’t do anything about that anymore. All we can do is move forward together.”

Liz leaned in closer to Max, and gently took his hand, lacing her fingers with his own, as she stared up into his eyes. He broke her gaze for a long moment, staring down at their entwined hands in awe for a long moment before meeting her eyes again.

“Together.” He agreed with a soft smile.

They walked on together, heading further into the woods silently, both of them feeling very much at ease together, like things were finally right for the first time in a long time. After hiking a short distance though, Liz froze, studying their surroundings, as another question formed in her mind.

“Max…don’t you even care about what happened that night?” She asked, suddenly concerned again. “What do you think initiated our memory loss. I went to the doctors and they couldn’t explain it, Max. There was no known scientific reason for my memory loss. What if it was an alien thing?”

“It probably was.” Max replied curiously. “But no, I don’t really care about the answers.”

“Why not?” Liz was baffled by his lack of concern.

“Because, if someone did it to hurt us, Liz, then they would have done something by now. They would have hit us while we were at our weakest…that night or some other time while I didn’t know who I was, how to use my powers. Nothing happened as a result of our memory loss except for our new relationship. Who knows, Liz? Maybe someone did it to help us?”

“I suppose you’re right.” Liz gave in with a sigh. “I suppose we’ll probably never know.”

“Probably not, and that’s why I don’t care.” Max murmured with a dreamy smile on his face as he pulled Liz into his arms and softly pressed his lips to her, mumbling against their embrace. “All that matters to me is that we’re together again.”


Thanks for reading!!!!