posted on 2-Oct-2002 4:41:58 PM by Cookie2697
This is the place for you to nominate your favorite funny lines from a fanfic. Think about the lines that just stopped you in your tracks and had you cracking up at your computer because they took you so completely by surprise.

Nomination Requirements:
Author
Title
Quote (& who said it would be good too!)

Happy nominating!
posted on 5-Oct-2002 12:19:42 AM by Assilem_1
I've been wanting to nominate these for awhile now, so here goes . . .

From "It's not about you" by Meagzie

Kyle: Until then though, it’s going to Saint Max and his darling Liz, strolling in a rose garden, and exchanging meaningful glances. Which is all fine and dandy, but not for me. Not that kind of guy, not yet. I may feel better about contributing more to our world, but like I said, I’m still a teenaged boy.

Bring on the T and A!


~~~

From "Captivated by Darkness" by Ash (from crashdown fanfic)

Liz stared at Maria with that stubborn look on her face until Maria relented.

"Okay, we'll do it your way. And then, if that doesn't work, I'll try it my way. Alien-head-in-a-basket."


~~~

And there's another one out there about Steven Tyler's motto, but for the life of me I can't seem to find the fic it's from, so I'll update when I find it . . . (If anyone knows, feel free to end my pain *sad*) . . .


Melissa *wink*



Wanna see what life would be like if the shooting never happened?
Well read my fic and find out:

Running with Scissors




[ edited 2 time(s), last at 5-Oct-2002 12:21:50 AM ]
posted on 5-Oct-2002 8:49:27 AM by Applebylicious
I Want You to Want Me
ps_dreamer

When Liz catches Maria and Alex spying on her and Max....

quote:
Alex and Maria turn to look at each other, frantically searching for some answers. After a couple of ‘umm’s and ‘ahh’s, Alex says, “I lost my ten-dollar bill. We were just looking for it.”

“You searched for your ten-dollar bill on a tree?” Like I would believe that, dear Alex. Tsk, tsk, tsk.


Lindsay



[ edited 1 time(s), last at 5-Oct-2002 8:50:11 AM ]
posted on 6-Oct-2002 6:47:43 AM by JBehrsGurl
"Loves You For You"
by: Meagzie

When Maria and Max have a heart-to-heart chat about Max's bad mood.

“Oh yes, it was that bad. One minute she’s begging to suck my dick, and the next she’s screaming at me, telling me I’m a sick bastard.” Max turned his head towards Maria, pouting slightly. “And I am not overdramatic.” Maria rolled her eyes.

~Elena
posted on 7-Oct-2002 12:58:06 AM by A Rose Is True Blue
Desolation by Finn

Max is telling Liz an imagined tale of his heroics
quote:
“Don’t be like that,” he said mischievously. “For all I know, you’ve been completely blocking out my amazing, but, very true, stories,” he commented.

“You really shouldn’t. I am rather amazing, after all,” he admitted.


Edited to keep it down to one line.

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 9-Nov-2002 7:47:18 PM ]
posted on 7-Oct-2002 11:47:27 PM by tyranese
I still can't get over this line. It's from The Experiment Trilogy, the last story entitled The way you love me By LivE

(They are in the car on the way to Frasier woods to get picked up by the alien space ship to take them to the peace summit in Dendar. Maria's panicking about going!)

quote:
"What if we don’t come back? I’m too young to be floating around in the stars for years! And you haven’t even married me, you bastard! I’ve been living in sin for years and it’s all your fault. I can’t die now. Michael—"


-nicola
posted on 9-Oct-2002 2:54:01 PM by Scottie
Stumbling Out of Darkness
by CarenicoleIQ

I still laugh at this!

"Our baby has two heads?"

Actually said by Max Evans when they found out that Liz was having twins and the doctor said "there's a head" and "there's another head" when reading the sonogram!
posted on 10-Oct-2002 1:43:12 PM by 2crzy4roswell
Okay, I am right up there with JBehrsGurl

I have to go read that fic now too!

I have one here from Breathless in Captive Hearts

Now I don't know if this should go in this category or 'The most memorable scene in fanfic'

I'll put them in both. Let me know if I can't do that.*happy*

Here it is
quote:
Smiling impishly, Liz said, “She says we can’t have sex anymore. You dented Matthew’s head.”
*big*

*falling to the ground, laughing hysterically*


Edited: Length

[ edited 3 time(s), last at 5-Dec-2002 4:17:47 PM ]
posted on 10-Oct-2002 3:40:22 PM by WiLdFyRe
From "the Alien Diaries" by JustThisOnce

It's in the scene just after maria finds out about Liz's powers

quote:
"...It’s not just that though, I’m a danger to society…”

“Michael’s driving is a danger to society, there’s just no comparison"


I thought this was a great line!!!




[ edited 1 time(s), last at 10-Oct-2002 3:41:13 PM ]
posted on 11-Oct-2002 1:35:33 PM by Scottie
quote:
2crzy4roswell originally wrote:
Okay, I am right up there with JBehrsGurl

I have to go read that fic now too!

I have one here from Breathless in Captive Hearts

Now I don't know if this should go in this category or 'The most memorable scene in fanfic'

I'll put them in both. Let me know if I can't do that.*happy*

Here it is
quote:
Smiling impishly, Liz said, “She says we can’t have sex anymore. You dented Matthew’s head.”
*big*

*falling to the ground, laughing hysterically*


OMG I forgot all about that one! That was one of the funniest things I've ever read. Simply brilliant, I remember falling to the ground too!


Edited: Length

[ edited 2 time(s), last at 5-Dec-2002 4:18:23 PM ]
posted on 12-Oct-2002 12:35:52 AM by sweetygurl
quote:
JBehrsGurl originally wrote:
"Loves You For You"
by: Meagzie

When Maria and Max have a heart-to-heart chat about Max's bad mood.

“Oh yes, it was that bad. One minute she’s begging to suck my dick, and the next she’s screaming at me, telling me I’m a sick bastard.” Max turned his head towards Maria, pouting slightly. “And I am not overdramatic.” Maria rolled her eyes.

~Elena

I vote for this one. I was literally rolling on the floor*bounce**bounce*
posted on 21-Oct-2002 12:56:51 AM by Nerrivik
quote:
Smiling impishly, Liz said, “She says we can’t have sex anymore. You dented Matthew’s head.”
*big*


Truely the funniest. This is my vote

Title - Captive Hearts
Author - Breathless
Scene - Juniors damaged noggin (see above)


Edited: Length

[ edited 2 time(s), last at 5-Dec-2002 4:20:07 PM ]
posted on 21-Oct-2002 7:33:29 PM by LuvRug
All of Welcome to College,By Kari and Erie(sp) can I do that but here is my Favorite.

MIchael Gets a monkey and calls It Big Dog Biggy for short Alex must BabySit.....


Edited: Length

[ edited 2 time(s), last at 5-Dec-2002 4:21:42 PM ]
posted on 22-Oct-2002 9:41:22 AM by Anya
Author : TatiLoca
Title: Save Yourself
Email : Bright_Eyes619⊕yahoo.com


quote:

"Nobody talks about my mama like dat!" Syn shouted from her position atop a sputtering Pam's legs. "You hab no idea who you're messin' with. Uncle Mikey didn't raise no punk-" Syn was stopped from completeing her sentence as Max swooped her up and shoved a cookie in her mouth.



Edited: Length

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 5-Dec-2002 4:22:48 PM ]
posted on 23-Oct-2002 2:13:36 AM by masweetthing
"Running With Scissors" by Assilem_1-

Max sitting in the booth, the day after the club also. He has just come up with BLRB (Become-Liz's-Real Boyfriend, pronounced Blurb) and is telling us the plan. He figures subliminal messaging is a good thing.

quote:
Speaking of which...

"Max Evans" I say in a singsong voice under my breath as Liz walks by.

She looks at me a little funny, but keeps going.

Okay, maybe I should rethink my plan...


From the same story-

Liz is in the kitchen, reliving the same night at the club the next morning, getting a cup of coffee.

quote:
I pick up the coffee pot and bow gracefully. "Yes, um I'd like to thank the Academy..." (because everyone always thanks the Academy) "...Um, my best friends Maria and Alex...my parents...and last but not least...Max Evans the best fake boyfriend a girl could have..."


Totally hilarious parts (ROTFLMAO)...*tongue*

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 23-Oct-2002 2:20:26 AM ]
posted on 23-Oct-2002 6:59:42 AM by ps_dreamer
McGees - Never let you down

On a roadtrip, Michael turns the radio. Shakira's 'Whenver, Wherever' comes on.

quote:
“Lucky that my lips not only mumble, they spill kisses like a fountain…” Isabel glanced at her husband pointedly and arched an eyebrow as she and Michael sang the next line. “Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse them with mountains.”

Jesse bit his lip, surveying his well-endowed wife. “Sorry, dear.”


*big**big**big*

Allie1031 - What dreams may come

Tess and Liz at the dinner table. Tess is jealous of Liz/Khivar.

quote:
"Excuse me? I'm the whore? How the hell do you figure that? I mean look at yourself, you disgusting hypocrite. Come now, Tess, be sensible," I implore her. "You can't marry your own brother anyways, Tess, although that doesn't seem to stop the repulsive incest going on, does it?"


*big**big**big*

[ edited 4 time(s), last at 5-Dec-2002 4:25:38 PM ]
posted on 28-Oct-2002 5:28:16 PM by Deejonaise
My favorite lines come from McGees' Never Let You Down. This conversation follows a donkey ride that Isabel insisted the gang take during their tour of the Grand Canyon. I think it's hilarious!

quote:


“Not funny,” he grumbled, his nose wrinkling. “You smell.”

Liz shoved him playfully. “You’re not exactly a bed of roses yourself.” She paused, eyeing him suggestively. “I know just what you need.”

“An ice pack and a nap?”


Is that better, Anne? I know it's not just one line but maybe you'll let me slide, huh, huh?

*big*

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 28-Oct-2002 8:09:32 PM ]
posted on 28-Oct-2002 6:00:31 PM by Cookie2697
Hey guys! Can we PLEASE keep these nominations to a single LINE rather than the whole scene? If you want to nominate the whole scene, please do so on the thread for whole scene (And there we want a summary)

When the whole scene is there it gets REALLY difficult for the talliers to sort through.

So please go back and edit it down to just the line

posted on 29-Oct-2002 4:18:35 AM by abarfeld
My nomination:
Susan709 - Escape

Maria, letting Max feel her wrath about the way he's treating Liz (just one line out of a long but funny rant):

"Or even better,
I coming for you Liz, oops sorry I came in Tess instead ..."
posted on 29-Oct-2002 2:34:12 PM by Cookie2697
quote:
Deejonaise originally wrote:

Is that better, Anne? I know it's not just one line but maybe you'll let me slide, huh, huh?


Yeah, that's fine Dee *happy* It's just when it's half a page that it gets overwhelming. IMO Line should be either one line, or like, less than 5 lines...so that's perfect in my book!

Thanks so much for moving so quickly on that! I really, REALLY appreciate it *happy*
posted on 29-Oct-2002 5:43:55 PM by babybunny
quote:
ps_dreamer originally wrote:
McGees - Never let you down

On a roadtrip, Michael turns the radio. Shakira's 'Whenver, Wherever' comes on.

quote:
“Lucky that my lips not only mumble, they spill kisses like a fountain…” Isabel glanced at her husband pointedly and arched an eyebrow as she and Michael sang the next line. “Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse them with mountains.”

Jesse bit his lip, surveying his well-endowed wife. “Sorry, dear.”



LOL. Thats so funny!
posted on 29-Oct-2002 9:44:51 PM by Kitcat26
From Kath7's outstanding trilogy, Tess's line (in bold) when she and Kyle are held captive in the citadel together and she blows up at the entire situation -
quote:
"Did you hear me buster? Hello? Is anyone in there? I want to be judged. Go tell that old goat Hamor so. The Ring will prove once and for all that Kyle and I belong together. I want it to show you all how stupid and archaic you all are." She glanced back at Kyle. "I mean, really! They managed to conquer space travel but they act like they live in the middle ages. It’s absurd! If they need us at all, it’s to pull them out of their own irony."


*tongue* Hee! Gets me everytime! Well, that, and the mental image of Kyle in tights...

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 29-Oct-2002 9:48:18 PM ]
posted on 30-Oct-2002 7:08:55 AM by ps_dreamer
The art of living sarcastically by Maria Deluca - roswellianprincess16

Maria moves from NY to Roswell. She gets jealous of Liz having a new best friend (Alex). This is when Maria's in the shower and hear the conversation between Alex/Liz outside.

quote:
"ALEX!! Stop. She's just getting over the death of her mother and she's trying to get used to a new place, TOTALLY different from where she comes from. So give her a break."

"Yea, yea. Not too much of a break though. She might end up hurting me. She's so frickin' aggressive. She has serious anger management problems... have you ever offered help?"

"ALEX!" I hear more giggling and the radio goes on. I can't believe he thinks I have anger management issues! If there is ANYONE who is TOTALLY in control it's ME!!!! I am the picture of CALMNESS and STABILITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Sorry about that, just having a small... umm, I don't know like panic attack or something. Who knows... those things just come and go.
*big**big**big*
posted on 31-Oct-2002 1:22:45 AM by Nikkisue
Spin by Incognito

-----

Wow, Max is crazier than I thought. He's nuttier than a bag of...well...nuts.

"Jesus Liz, your crazier than I thought."

hehe, "For example?"

"For example," he raises his eyebrows, "You told Dr. Amos that your parents are Russian spies, and that you have six toes?"

I smirk, "That one's true."

-----

Rope the Wind by Ashton

-----

Turning back to 'Bambi', a dark eyebrow raised. “Well, **Bambi**, on the off chance that you don’t have the necessary brain cells to put two and two together, let me help you out with something. When two people…” She deliberately pointed to Max then to her herself mouthing the words 'one' and 'two'. “…are standing in front of each other…” Waving her hand in the air, she indicated Max and her own position. “…and there are words coming out of their mouths…” Liz used her own lips as a visual. "…that usually means they are in a…" Eyes widening, Liz leaned forward and said the obviously long word very slowly. "…con-ver-sa-tion. And when two people are in a con-ver-sa-tion, it's usually not a good thing to interrupt.”

-----

Edited: Length

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 5-Dec-2002 4:29:54 PM ]
posted on 31-Oct-2002 4:07:11 PM by JBehrsGurl
Title: A Dupe Jones
Author: Pinky Banana
Line: When Syn catches up with Zan after they leave the art stor after meeting for the first time...
quote:
"Uh-uh. Stand right there!" she commanded, riffling though the bag. "If you took something, you will return it or I will try my best to kick your ass right here, and I'm not playing."

Zan held up his hands in mock submission. "D*mn, baby. After all the things I bought you…all that good loving I gave you, you gonna threaten to jack me up? It ain't right."

lol! *wink*
posted on 31-Oct-2002 9:40:49 PM by tazno
3 different nominations, both from chapter 37 of Maxeo & Lizziet, by Breathless.

M&L are making out heavily while trying to practice Romeo & Juliet. Liz tells him it's his line, and he answers:

Liz was facing him now, instead of sitting on him, and he cupped her face with his hands, kissing her deeply before rushing out his lines. “Andjocunddaystandstiptoeonthemistymountaintops.”

2 lines later, he continues:

“Imustbegoneandlive,” he turned her and bent her over backwards until she was draped over his lap, “or stay and die.”

3rd nomination: Jeff Parker walks in a few seconds after the above, and Max freaks! He had being attempting to keep one foot on the floor, the way his Mom had told him they used to have to do on old TV shows...

“DAD!” Liz cried out in surprise, looking at her father from upside down.

“ONE FOOT ON THE FLOOR!” Max blurted out, as if that made any sense.




[ edited 1 time(s), last at 31-Oct-2002 9:41:46 PM ]
posted on 9-Nov-2002 12:08:18 AM by I_LOVE_NICK
My nominations are all from the same fic. The funniest fic ever!!!

Once Upon A Fanfiction by Gamma Rho Girl

This first one is from the first part. Maria has called an emergency meeting and she has just arrived to meet her waiting friends:

quote:
They all look at Maria expectantly.

“Okay, guys. I have some news…”

They all get start to get slightly anxious, and begin rattling off questions at her.

“You’re pregnant?” Asks Isabel, glaring accusingly at Michael.

“Your mom and my dad ran off and got married?” Asks Kyle.

“Michael doesn’t want to come to our next gig?” Alex shoots him a look.

“Did your abusive father come back to town?” Chimed in Max.

“Oh no, you’re dying, aren’t you?” Liz begins to cry.

“”Are you half Alien too?” Ponders Tess.

“God, are we breaking up again? Now what did I do?” Michael throws out.


LMAO!!!!

The next one is when they are discussing what they would do if they could write their own fanfics about themselves:

quote:
Max gets a smile on his face and says “Maybe I’ll climb up to Liz’s balcony, do a striptease, and yell “I come in peace.” THAT got everyone’s attention. “Hey, its tough being the shy, sensitive one all the time.”

As everyone laughs, Isabel leans in to Liz, “And you can come and beg me to “Take me to your leader”.” Isabel and Tess start to laugh as Liz just gets red in her cheeks.



There are so many more but these are my top three...so last but not least is when Alex is writing his fic and he has The Whits playing a good gig:

quote:
Alex was standing along side the stage that had been set up at the edge of the court. He was tuning his guitar while waiting for the rest of The Whits to join him. They had been doing so many shows lately, they were the hottest thing in Roswell now. “Take that Kit Shickers.” Alex mumbled under breath.


The whole fic had me laughing, but those are my favs!!!!

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 9-Nov-2002 12:09:02 AM ]
posted on 9-Nov-2002 2:58:27 PM by JDreamer
Title: Rope the Wind (sequel to Kiss the Flame)
Author: Ashton

This is the scene after Liz leaves her office to find Max a suitable secretary

quote:
Ashton originally wrote:


Saying their good-byes and closing the door behind the last woman, Max leaned against the door with a devilish grin. It wasn't until a technician addressed Max that he realized he wasn't alone.

"Uh? Sir? Can I offer a suggestion?"

"Sure." Max answered, clearly thinking the technician had words of wisdom for his new Pentium installation.

Glancing at the other two techs, the guy whose name tag read 'Rex' began to speak dispelling any notion that only women are matchmakers. "Well, me and the guys was thinking that it's pretty obvious you're into this woman. And from her reaction to the babes that just left, well?she's certainly not willing to share any time soon."

"Yeah?" Max prompted, liking what he was hearing so far.

Rex nodded. "But see, here's the thing. You seem like the type of man that's not gonna stop till she's screaming 'yes' and well, she doesn't seem like that type that's gonna give in that easily so?"

"Yes?"

"We was thinking ya might want to invest in a bullet proof vest." The two other techs nodded vigorously at the suggestion. "Maybe even an impenetrable shield right here between the two desks here?"

Max's laughter filled the room as three very confused technicians looked at each other then back at Max as if they were suddenly standing in a loony bin.



I don't know about you guys, but that part always makes me laugh. *big* I mean, I find the whole story really amusing half the time, but that line is probably my absolute favorite.

[ edited 2 time(s), last at 9-Nov-2002 3:05:01 PM ]
posted on 10-Nov-2002 4:37:06 PM by LuvRug
Once Upon A Fanfiction by Gamma Rho Girl

This first one is from the first part. Maria has called an emergency meeting and she has just arrived to meet her waiting friends:


quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They all look at Maria expectantly.

“Okay, guys. I have some news…”

They all get start to get slightly anxious, and begin rattling off questions at her.

“You’re pregnant?” Asks Isabel, glaring accusingly at Michael.

“Your mom and my dad ran off and got married?” Asks Kyle.

“Michael doesn’t want to come to our next gig?” Alex shoots him a look.

“Did your abusive father come back to town?” Chimed in Max.

“Oh no, you’re dying, aren’t you?” Liz begins to cry.

“”Are you half Alien too?” Ponders Tess.

“God, are we breaking up again? Now what did I do?” Michael throws out.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LMAO
Go I_LOVE_NICK!

posted on 11-Nov-2002 11:33:52 PM by I_LOVE_NICK
YEAH!!! LUVRUG!!!!

I am here to nominate another one from "Once Upon A Fanfiction."

It comes from the last part of the story, and I litterally laughed so hard, I think my dad thinks I'm on crack!!! lol.

This is from Liz's part, she is writing her own fanfic!!


quote:
Settling down at the counter, Liz stares at the screen. Slowly, she begins to type.


***Journal entry 51,367. I’m Liz Parker (as if you hadn’t guessed yet from the previous 51, 366 entries) and three years ago I almost died.



LMAO!!!! Seriously, you guys have to check out this fic!!!
posted on 14-Nov-2002 11:09:42 PM by Gamma Rho Girl
I then agree with this one from Lelea's Fail Safe


quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“MY attitude you seem to be sporting one of your own!” Michael said loudly.

“YOU! Off my planet! I’m done with you!” Maria yelled pushing past him and storming into the bathroom.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


[ edited 3 time(s), last at 12-Dec-2002 1:12:08 AM ]
posted on 16-Nov-2002 8:55:15 AM by ps_dreamer
'The Secret of Zan' by DMartinez

Max to Lonnie.

quote:
“You can forget about going back to Antar... and no more secret meetings with Nicholas. He’s much too young for you anyway, that’s statutory rape.”

posted on 2-Dec-2002 1:19:48 AM by Kath7
From The Journey by JO. Kyle has just walked in on Michael, Tess and Isabel, who have just been accidentally informed by Maria that Liz did NOT sleep with Kyle in EOTW.

quote:
“You didn’t sleep with Liz?” Tess didn’t know if she felt angry or relieved. 

“Finally! Who spilled it? My karma was getting corrupted. Didn’t know how much longer I could keep it in. Cool, chips.” Kyle pushed past them and went to the couch. He picked up the bowl of chips and began eating them. Isabel, Michael, Tess and Alex stared at him. “What? I’m hungry.”


I still can't stop giggling.

posted on 2-Dec-2002 2:26:57 PM by LttleMrmade
There are two lines that I love to read from Lelea's Fail Safe. They are in the same part said by Maria. (lines nomintated are bolded)

#1:
quote:
“I think it’s something else. Let me just say, Michael, that sexual frustration is not a good look on you!” Maria had had it with him. He had been a jerk for hours now…enough was enough. She decided to come out swinging this time.

“WHAT!! I am not frustrated!” Michael said his face darkening with rage.

“Then what is it? The aliens forget to remove your anal probe? What?” Maria asked turning to face Michael head on. She was so angry she didn’t even notice Kyle laughing and the shocked looks from Alex and Liz.


And #2:
quote:
“MY attitude you seem to be sporting one of your own!” Michael said loudly.

“YOU! Off my planet! I’m done with you!” Maria yelled pushing past him and storming into the bathroom.


I still laugh when I read those! *big*


[ edited 1 time(s), last at 2-Dec-2002 2:27:56 PM ]
posted on 7-Dec-2002 12:18:40 AM by Kath7
I couldn't decide if this should go in Most Touching Line or Funniest Line, but I decided to go with funniest because it is just SO Michael and Maria. It is from JO's Pathos:

quote:
He smiled and kissed her mouth. “I love you, Maria, and I’ll see you in a couple of days.” He slowly turned away from her, memorizing just how the floral cotton nightgown hugged her curves and her blonde hair floated in the light breeze.

“Love you too, Space Boy, but make sure you don’t bring home any more Michael worshipers. You’ve already got your congregation right here.”



posted on 7-Dec-2002 5:10:53 AM by A Rose Is True Blue
All of these lines are from Good Shit- A Turkey Story by JBehrsGurl

About Alex:

quote:
That dorkus malorkus


quote:
What am I? His servant girl? Uh! I think NOT! But what am I doing? I’m walking down the hall over to the kitchen to do what my pee-brain brother told me to do.


quote:
Dear god I asked for a sister and instead I got a forever 8 year old HE-SHE.

THAT one gets me EVERY time. I LOVE it.

About Max:

quote:
TAKE ME YOU SEX GOD YOU!


quote:
Oh. My. God.

Did I just say that part aloud?

“Yeah.” Max is laughing.

Oh my god! Did I just say that out loud too?

“Yep.” Max is laughing more.

Dear god stop the madness!


Hehe..okay, that's all for now.

posted on 7-Dec-2002 5:12:13 AM by A Rose Is True Blue
Okay, I lied. I have one more from Jbehrsgurl's Good Shit-A Turkey Story

quote:
Sammie said she’s rather fuck a dog than be partners with a statutory rapist Neanderthal, and Sean went to look up what she said in the dictionary.


LMAO.
Guys, you gotta read this fic!

Erin
posted on 7-Dec-2002 8:05:25 AM by Marionettes_Flower
Someone stated this already...but I have to post it. Because, it is something that I will never forget...and, I loved the whole trilogy and the writer:

Author: LivE
Title: The Way You Love Me (trilogy)
Quote: "What if we don’t come back? I’m too young to be floating around in the stars for years! And you haven’t even married me, you bastard! I’ve been living in sin for years and it’s all your fault. I can’t die now. Michael—"

-Jenn-
(once known to all as, AcidJenn Behr)

posted on 23-Dec-2002 4:53:05 AM by Sugarplum7
Just giving a bump since I fear that these are "out of sight, out of mind" for many of the voters.

Hugs,
Katie

posted on 2-Jan-2003 1:52:55 PM by Kath7
From "The Heart of this Christmas" by Kittcatt26

quote:
Kyle’s eyes glazed over as he took in the meaning of what had just happened. “Wha-What?” He blew out a large breath, whistling out shrilly. “Oh, man.” He turned to shoot a glance at Michael. “Beam me up Chewbacca. Looks like I’ve joined your ranks.”

Michael made a face. “You know, we’re really going to have a problem if you keep calling me that.”

Kyle shrugged. “Well, then cut your hair and stop grunting like Chewy. Then maybe I won't call you that.”



posted on 2-Jan-2003 4:43:09 PM by Xanthir_Morai
I think a couple of people have already mentioned it but I think this line is worth saying again.

~' "MY attitude you seem to be sporting one of your own!” Michael said loudly.

“YOU! Off my planet! I’m done with you!” Maria yelled pushing past him and storming into the bathroom.' ~

LOL. I love that line. Its from Fail Safe by Lelia.
*happy*
posted on 12-Jan-2003 4:34:22 PM by Eccentric One
Three separate lines from "Soft Core" by Smoo.
Soft Core

“Oh hi Max, how is your penis today? My dildo is doing just fine.”

and...

I don’t throw temper-tantrums. I don’t, I don’t, I don’t!

and...

This quasi-isolation from Liz has sucked harder than Isabel does when giving her flavor-of-the-week a blow job. Translation: it sucks pretty fucking hard considering Isabel could suck start a leaf blower.
posted on 13-Jan-2003 7:18:11 PM by SansuCry
From Maxeo and Lizziet by Breathless:

Max is having a nightmare about telling Liz his secret:

quote:
You see, I have a second penis that explodes out of my chest in the heat of sex. It impales your chest so you can’t get away. It’s an alien thing. Because I’m an alien. If you were an alien female, it would go right into your alien chest vagina, but since you’re human, this might hurt a little.”


I read this at about four in the morning and laughed so hard I woke up the whole house. Then I had to reread it later to make sure I had read it correctly.

[ edited 2 time(s), last at 13-Jan-2003 7:27:57 PM ]
posted on 13-Jan-2003 7:33:24 PM by SweetLilDreamer
quote:
SansuCry originally wrote:
From Maxeo and Lizziet by Breathless:

Max is having a nightmare about telling Liz his secret:

quote:
You see, I have a second penis that explodes out of my chest in the heat of sex. It impales your chest so you can’t get away. It’s an alien thing. Because I’m an alien. If you were an alien female, it would go right into your alien chest vagina, but since you’re human, this might hurt a little.”


I'm going to have to second Sansu's motion, that part cracked me up the rest of the night.


Amy
posted on 22-Jan-2003 8:23:09 PM by wearydreams2003
I know that it's most amusing LINE...but this convo is great. I found it to be hilarious.

From "Moment in Time"
by Fanatic101

“What!?” Tess shrieked. “The two of you are going up there alone? I don’t know who you think you are, but you can’t just haul my boyfriend around wherever you go.”

At that, Michael, Alex and Kyle all burst out laughing.

“You…you think Max is your boyfriend?” Kyle asked between laughs.

“Oh, that was too funny,” Alex said as he wiped at the tears in his eyes. “Say it again.”

Tess glared at all of them as she placed her hands on her hips. “Out of everyone involved, we all know that I’m the closest to being his girlfriend.”

That sent all three boys into another fit of laughter.

“Oh, that was even funnier the second time around,” Alex said.


and....

“Michael, this place bites,” Kyle said as he slouched down on his bar stool. Michael had dragged both he and Alex out to a trendy nightclub that seemed to play non-stop Britney Spears all night long.

“You know, I love Britney just as much as the next horny white guy, but this is seriously too much,” Alex added.


Sarah


posted on 23-Jan-2003 4:52:17 AM by moonbeam4747
I just had to nominate this line. Every time I think about it I laugh so hard my side hurts. The entire fic is side splitting funny, but this line is just the best.

Title: Snowed In With A Sex God - A Santa Story
Author: JBehrsGurl

Said by Daddy P, after a very eventful road trip...

“All aboard ashore! We’re finally here ya whores!”

And we all stopped to stare at him with gaping mouths…


posted on 27-Jan-2003 7:28:41 AM by frenchkiss70
Maxeo and Lizziet Ch 50
"One thing was good though. That horny bastard had no place to hide a condom in those tights."
Jeff's thoughts during the play, that was priceless*big**big**big*