Afterglow + Glutton For Punishment 1/1 R Smallville C/C Future Fic
posted on 14-Mar-2002 5:23:51 PM by DMartinez
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Millar and Gough. No infringement intended.
Summary: Chloe and Clark... after.
Author's Note: Popped into my head. Had to write it.
Sometimes she can remember the kisses. A bit sloppy but enthusiastic and definitely better than Chloe's other kisses. Sometimes she laughed when she remembered how tall Clark was and how she had had to stand on tiptoe just to kiss him first. Only sometimes does she laugh.
She had started it.
It was one of those bonfires. Pete had left her alone to pursue his budding luck with the ladies and Clark had shown up after she had been introduced to the keg and the warm fuzziness of drinking on an empty stomach. She had just begun to dance with some guy, Craig or Greg or maybe it was Steve. That's when Clark showed up. He gave her that look, that 'what are you doing?' look that he had perfected. She had just smiled and tried to get him to dance with her. That's when she had kissed him.
The next thing she knew, Clark had buckled her into the truck and was driving toward town. He lectured her and scolded and gave her that Kent look that meant he was disappointed and suddenly he had *looked* at her. It had clicked in her mind that at the moment he had realized she had kissed him. There were no amateur hypnotists or meteor effects and she had kissed him. Freely and of her own will, be it somewhat uninhibited due to the alcohol.
At the Beanery, he made her eat a grilled cheese sandwich and drink several cups of coffee and all the while he just *stared* at her. Once she caught him touching his lips and then sizing her up as if he had just realized that Chloe Sullivan was indeed a female with all the female parts.
Then he had driven her home. Dad was out of town at some seminar and Clark wouldn't leave her home alone when there was the slightest possibility that she was still drunk. A quick call home to Ma and Pa and Clark was parked on the couch with the remote, her head in his lap. He kept sneaking *looks* at her.
That was the point where it started to get fuzzy. It was really backward how that worked, like the more sober she got that night, the less able she was to hold on to the memories. She remembered playing with his knee, then sitting up when he got tense and quiet, and then kissing him. That's when he finally kissed back. He asked if she knew what she was doing and she assured him that the fuzziness was gone, that she was sober and she knew exactly what she was doing.
Making out was the last thing she remembered clearly. Everything else came in patches as the days passed. The pain she remembered the second she woke up the next day. Sometimes she dreams and she can see him hovering over her, and there's this expression on his face, one she's never seen before or since. How in the world they had ended up doing that was beyond her. Still, they had done it. It being sex. It being sex that she couldn't completely recall in the conscious hours. It was difficult to cipher dream fantasy from dream memory.
Remembered the mild freaking out the next morning. How she ached all over... especially *there*. Saw Clark's very naked body lying in her bed with her. He was asleep when she crawled out of bed to go throw up whatever was left in her stomach and to clean up. He was gone when she returned feeling like she had been in the Hammer without the restraint harness. It hadn't taken her long to figure out exactly had gone on. Well, vaguely. Lack of actual memory but enough evidence. Odd that she had so many bruises...
Lost virginity. Lost friend.
Monday had been incredibly weird. Not only had he not spoken to her all weekend but he seemed to be avoiding her. Ducking into empty classrooms had tipped her off. Not showing up to work on the paper had been the bright shining neon sign. He never missed without letting her know. Even Pete had no clue what was up with their friend.
Sometime later there was the run-in in the cafeteria. Eyes locked and then his quickly slid away and he was gone. That was the beginning of the inadequacy for her. What was wrong with her that Clark couldn't stand to be around her? Was there something wrong with her? Was it bad? Was it completely impossible for her to have good sex?
Days had passed and Pete never said anything but it was obviously he knew something was going on. So, she told him. The next time she saw him, he just shrugged, said Clark wouldn't talk about it. Didn't even confirm that it had happened.
Sometimes she remembers something new. A touch, a caress, a squeeze... a explanation for the myriad of bruises that had been left on her body in the aftermath. The sweaters didn't go away when the bruises did. Even her reporting suffered. How could she think of meteor cretins when Clark was being like that? That's when she let the tears fall. She can remember tasting them every night for weeks.
Remembers crying to Pete. Remembers his silence. Remembers how Pete stopped hanging out with Clark. Remembers hearing a one-sided fight through an almost closed door after school. Clark never said a word to defend himself... even when Pete crossed the line and accused him of taking advantage of their drunken friend, raping her even. Remembers bursting into the room shaking her head that no he hadn't. That Clark would never...
Clark had mumbled an 'I'm sorry.' and ran out the door. He had pulled away completely after that. He quit the Torch, changed seats in their classes. Remembers that day she found him eating his lunch in the stadium and she just sat in his general area. Remembers how he let his sandwich fall back into the bag in front of him, how he looked like he was going to be sick, how he wouldn't look at her for more than two consecutive seconds. Remembers hearing herself ask him what was wrong with her but got no real answer.
Admitted that she couldn't remember much, that she couldn't believe they had gotten that carried away, that she cried at night and that she missed her friend. Remembers how he relaxed a little but wasn't sure what she had said to make him relax like that. He murmured something about trying to talk to her but then he shut down and left her to herself, leaving his lunch behind.
Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night screaming his name and aching for a clue, for him. Those are the nights her thighs tremble as she wanders into the kitchen for a glass of water. The nights she pulls his picture out of a photo album to wonder what exactly had gone wrong that night. Wonders if that blur by her window was anything to worry about or if she's just imagining she sees a glimpse of him out her four-story window.
She moved back to Metropolis after graduation. Majored in journalism but could never quite regain that fire for investigating that she had in high school and decided she could teach it. Imagine her surprise the day she opened the Daily Planet saw Clark Kent in a byline. Twisted soul that she had become, she cut it out and started an album. That was the day she realized she was still infatuated with him. Even after so long, many dates, boyfriends and lovers later... he was still the one she always wanted.
Remembers the day she saw the blur in the sky and later the big story by Lois Lane in the Planet. "The world has a hero in Superman." Remembers staring hard at the pictures that came out in the following months. Feeling like she should know the face but just couldn't quite place it. Then she shrugged it off to repetition. See something enough and one could swear it had been seen before. Remembers shaking the thought out of her head and forgetting about Clark for weeks. Remembers the panic when she realized that she had forgotten him. Forgotten everything. Remembers flipping rapidly through photo albums, pouring over each picture, memorizing them and trying to reassure herself that it wasn't possible that she'd forgotten him.
She ran into Lex at a seminar in Metropolis where her father was yucking it up with his co-workers. She had gone to see him and then there was Lex, all smiles and the new owner of LuthorCorp. He saw her and then suddenly he was there asking her to lunch to talk. Remembers him asking about Clark, remembers blinking at him. Hadn't he seen Clark? The two were friends, right? She certainly hadn't seen Clark since graduation. Remembers his shock. He thought they'd be married by now, have about three kids.
Remembers shifting nervously. So Clark had actually talked about it to *someone*. Apparently Lex hadn't seen Clark in a few years after some sort of falling out. Remembers mentioning Clark's byline in the Planet and the strange tilting of Lex's head at her words. Then came the questions. If she knew where he was, why hadn't she seen him? Did she remember anything being odd about Clark? What did she think of Superman? It was all enough to make her head explode but then Lex had smiled graciously and handed her a card. Maybe they'd have lunch again some time.
Sometimes Chloe stares at herself in the mirror and can remember the few happy moments from that morning after. The afterglow that had caught her attention in her reflection. That certain knowledge that she and Clark had had sex and that he was still in her bed. That this was something new for both of them. Of course, then she had lost her dinner.
Sometimes she wonders why she never has those fantasies of Clark returning to her with open arms and dizzying kisses when she has a lover in her apartment. Wonders why the fantasies are so vivid when she's alone. Wonders why he never tried to contact her. Wonders why she's never picked up the phone to call him... Wonders why.
[ edited 1 time(s), last at 23-Mar-2002 1:02:55 AM ]
posted on 23-Mar-2002 1:02:13 AM by DMartinez
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Millar and Gough. No infringement intended.
Summary: Chloe and Clark... after. Companion Piece
Author's Note: I thought about it and thought about it and someone requested so I decided I'd write it.
Glutton for Punishment
Clark thinks about Chloe most days. Wonders if she's okay, if she's happy. He keeps tabs on her when he can. Is surprised sometimes that she didn't do more with herself.
Lois isn't Chloe. Isn't quirky or funny the same way. God, she was always on his mind. Lois gave him a funny look and kept walking. She kept telling him that his mind was always plastered across his face. Thanks to Chloe, he had some sort of control over the Lois situation. Technically that wasn't a good thing. Learning this ability had cost him her friendship. Damn his memory. Damn his abilities.
Damn his weakness.
Soft skin against his. Years of practicing so that he could stop leaving bruises on her delicate skin. Why in the hell did she plague him? It was a mistake to have started it but there was no way he'd stop it. Had to feel human sometimes even though he couldn't have the wife to come home to, or the kids to call him Dad. He was Kal-El. Superman.
If only the memory of her body against his wasn't so fresh... any of them. It was so wrong but he couldn't stop. If he had to do it all over again... but there were no ifs and what happened had happened.
He was testing his parents' will. He had taken the truck for a drive and spotted the bonfire. There she was, drunk as a skunk and dancing with Ryan Mitchell. One stern look and Ryan had taken a hasty retreat. Chloe never noticed and tried to get him to dance with her. He kept a wary eye on her but somehow missed the signs that she was about to kiss him. Convinced that she was drunk out of her mind, he picked her up and put her in the truck. He lectured and ranted about being careful at those bonfires and then it clicked. The taste of alcohol was in his mouth. Chloe Sullivan had kissed him. Her tongue had just been in his mouth. Clark Kent had just been kissed by a girl, who happened to be his best friend.
While trying to sober her up, he kept thinking about it. There was nothing meteor-related in the encounter. She was drunk but she was still Chloe. Alcohol only took away inhibitions... right? He looked her over and wondered when in the world he had missed her growing up. After forcing her to eat and drink a good deal, he insisted on taking her home. There he was horrified to find that her father had left her alone and he just couldn't leave her. A quick call to Mom and Dad and he was situated on her couch with the remote.
It was nice. She laid her head on his lap, allowing him another chance to really look at her without being caught until she started playing with his knee. That was followed by bodily reactions that shouldn't happen when with his best friend. And yet. Tried to stop her, not very hard, but still tried. Making out ensued and all reasoning flew from his head as well.
It was at this point in his memories that he always took a moment for the 'what ifs' to fly through his mind. He was never given much time to ponder them before Lois called or Perry started yelling, or Jimmy was holding something that was too good for Clark to pass up tripping in front of him to get on the kid's face... the cake thing was always hilarious but jelly donuts were more fun. It was a sick, twisted game but the Clark Kent that Metropolis knew was an absolute klutz. Lois would probably have a heart attack if she remembered she had kissed Clark.
A look around at his 'friends' and Clark longed for the days when he had had five friends. Five really good friends that he could go to for anything. His only true friend now was his mother. Pa had died when he was still in college and home for the winter break. Pete never forgave him for breaking Chloe's heart. Chloe never remembered the many conversations they had had over the years and Lex... Dark clouds surrounded Lex's memory.
Lex knew who Superman was. Clark could tell by the way his eyes glittered when they met. It amused him. The whole thing. The cape, the costume, the hiding in plain sight. But when Clark looked at Lex, he didn't see the man whose life he had saved so long ago. But then... Lex was the only one he could go to when he needed to talk about Chloe.
A night with kisses and touches that Clark had only imagined before; of touching Chloe in places no one ever had, the first orgasm with a woman. The pain of seeing Chloe's revulsion and pain so soon after she had woken up in his arms. Saw her stiff stagger to the bathroom, soon followed by her retching and had to leave. Of course, he went to Lex and explained as much as he could. Lex had tried to console him. Had told him that maybe he had made a mistake, but wouldn't tell him what.
Clark just couldn't understand. He and Chloe had talked after making love. Talked for a long time about everything: their budding feelings, what they had done, reassurances that everything had been fine, great. Couldn't understand how she could be fine and then hours later be in pain, vomiting.
Saw the bruises at school. Places that he could have sworn he had been so careful to touch softly bore his imprint. So he hid, drowned in self-loathing, died inside every time he saw her across the hall, sporting a mark he had left there. Pete's questions were easy enough to shrug off the first time. The second time, he accused him of raping Chloe. Maybe he had. Chloe had been drinking; she didn't know what she was doing... Then Chloe burst in, head shaking, words stumbling out of her mouth and it had been too much.
Tried to take himself out of her life completely but that didn't work. She sought him out, cornered him at lunch one day. Felt sick. How could she look at him after that? She asked what was wrong with her. He blinked and shook his head that nothing was wrong with her. Had he done something to her? Damaged her? She said that she missed her friend, went on about how she couldn't remember much but knew pretty much what happened, couldn't believe they had gotten so carried away.
Felt a weight off his shoulders when she murmured that she would have liked to remember being with him, insinuated that she had wanted it for so long. He tried at first, to explain about the things they had talked about. Finally, in his mind, he hadn't done wrong. That night had not been a mistake. One look at her misery and he knew she would need a better explanation than anything he was going to say with no time to prepare.
There are nights that mirror the one that followed that encounter. Clark went to see her. They talked, kissed goodnight and he went home only to return to school to find her the same miserable way she had been the day before. When he asked Lex, Lex just shrugged and said that women were mysterious creatures. Lex wished him luck and happiness. Lex was going back to Metropolis after he showed Clark something in his files...
Clark tried twice more to talk to Chloe that year. Each time started the same way. Tears, smiles, kisses goodbye and the same despondent Chloe the next day at school. Finally he decided to get on with his life. Metropolis University and college girls lit a light in his mind. Girls he didn't kiss... remembered. Girls he kissed... forgot... just like Chloe.
When he went to see her, same thing. Explanations, kisses and love making... all forgotten in the petite blond. Goes to see her regularly without her knowledge, leaves her be when she's got a boyfriend. Shocked that she settled for being a teacher rather than the reporter that she had always wanted to be.
Asked her about it once. Said she didn't have anyone left to impress. She forgot that conversation too. After he came out as Superman, went to see her. She laughed a little, smiled and pointed a finger, "And all that time you were right under my nose." He stayed for two straight days that time. She forgot that too.
Shifting slightly, he glanced at the clock. Twenty minutes to deadline. Lois snapped her fingers in his face. She's not like Chloe. She's obsessed with Lex Luthor. If only the tiny brunette knew. Lex may have won the favor of the majority of the country but he knows better and he hopes Chloe still does. Heard about their run in. Minor proof that Lex knows. Lex and all his questions, looking for answers that he doesn't really want.
Glances around and types as fast as the computer can process and hits print. He holds it up with the disk when Lois marched over to yell at him. Listens but pulls into himself to think about Chloe a little more.
She's never married anyone she's dated. Never tried to contact anyone from high school. Never stops teaching even when her kids stop learning. Never forgets to send her father a birthday card or father's day card or talk to the kids at school.
Clark wonders why he doesn't stop visiting her. Wonders why he keeps hoping the next time he visits that she'll remember...
[ edited 1 time(s), last at 23-Mar-2002 1:03:59 AM ]