|posted on 2-Sep-2001 7:44:05 PM|
|TITLE: FINDING PEACE by stella|
Category: Liz/Max bit of sean and everyone else
Summary:This is about Liz trying to deal with her life, and live normally after finding out about Max and Tess’s relationship. Tess doesn’t get pregnant in my story. This is set after ITLITB.
This is my first fic please be gentle!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the WB's Roswell.
Please leave feedback, even if you don't like it!
RATED. NC-17 Eventually R for violence
Part 1 prologue.
Its Tuesday night and I’m wondering what am I doing here in the middle of the park, just walking and walking trying to figure out what to do with my life,
I found out today from Maria that Max and Tess are more than just a couple, but I never thought in a thousand years that it would hurt me so much, as much as I’m feeling now, pure pain and heartache. I suppose I should have known this would happen, after all I'm the one who pushed him to her, I should be happy I succeeded. didn't I?.
Its getting really late now, there’s noone left here but me, I should get going home, but right now I don't really feel like going home, I just want the pain to go away. I feel worthless, I’m just tired.
I hear a noise approaching and look up to see what it is, its a shadow of a person coming towards me. I see Sean. I try to avoid him. I really don't feel like talking right now. But he says something to me and I can't just ignore him:
"Parker? what are you doing out here? All alone?"
I look up to his face, and I’m thinking the same thing about him. "What are you doing here Sean? Were you following me?
"NO, I wasn’t, Maria asked me to see if you were alright, is there a law against walking in the park? I mean, what else is there to do on a Tuesday Night? Is it always this quiete in Roswell?"
"you could say that, "then the silence follows, I should be going now, I slowly get up and start to leave. I hear him call after me. I ignore him.
I don't know whats come over me. I'm jut running and I can't stop. I'm not even looking where I’m going. wherever my legs take me, I keep on running. I can't stop; it’s all I can do at this moment, like my legs have taken control of my body and I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to.
Then I hear a noise. silence. Complete darkness follows.
"I run after her, I need to catch up, I have a bad feeling about this, the sooner I get to her the better, but why is she acting this way, what is wrong with her? I know she's upset about that Max guy, but could it be something else, god Sean why are you such a loser, why did you have to come to Roswell, why did you fall for her? What’s the use, why is she running from me? NO!!!!!
Liz! Stop! I see her on the floor, I'm on my knees , oh no, no. there’s blood everywhere, I scream for help. there’s no one around. help us. Please I scream again. I need help, I need to get her to a hospital. and quick! Jesus, why did this happen. I saw it all and yet I couldn't help her, "
I'm carrying her now, she's so light, like a feather. What do I do, I don't know where the hospital is, I look around the nearest building is that Max guy's house. I don't care right now, she needs help. Anything to get her help. I’m nearly there now, I slam on the door. Isabel opens it.
"Liz? Oh my god, mom. Come quick. Sean what happened?
She got hit by a motorcycle.
What? Did you see it happen? Why didn't you help her?
Isabel is screaming for Max now, I don't know what he could do to help her, but I’m staying here for Liz, I won't leave her here. I need to see if she'll be ok. God I hope she's ok.
I hear footsteps, running toward me. I’m being pushed out the way, its Max.
"What happened to her.? Sean tell me what happened to Liz. ? she's bleeding all over. her head, her chest blood everywhere.
before I know what’s happening, Max takes Liz in his arms and disappears through the doors.
"Sean, you can go home now,"
No Isabel, I’m not leaving, tell me where Max went, I can't leave Liz here and just walk away. I’m staying. "
No, Sean, I’m sure she'll be ok, I’ve called an ambulance its on its way now. "
"OK, but I’m still staying till the ambulance gets here. WHETHER you like it or not.
I care about Liz and I saw what happened.
I can hear an ambulance siren approaching, I look up and see Max walk through the door, I can't make out what his facial expression is. Its not too good from where I’m sitting, I can't sit here anymore, I need to know what’s happening to Liz. In a way I think it’s my fault, I should have kept up with her. I should have stopped her from running off like that. The only reason I showed up at he park was because Maria told me she'd be there, she told me to go after her. She was trying to be a good friend. And so was I.
"Max? Where’s Liz? "
No answer. that’s it, I’m going to see for my self.
"No. Wait, Sean, leave her alone. She’s come to. But she needs to go to a hospital. "
"Thank god! Relief, that’s all I can feel. But somethings quite not right about all of this. What just happened here, I have no idea. Isabel has been watching me for the last 2 or 3 minutes. Its like she's afraid I’ll move out of her sight. And go after Max. She’s nervous, but what about? It must be me, I have that affect on people.
"Are you sure? I say, she looked pretty bad to me" why won't you let me see her?"
The ambulance paramedics rush through the door and make a beeline for Max, asking him where the injured girl is being kept. I follow them to wherever Liz is.
There she is, she's so hurt, oh my god she's just lying there, and her eyes are closed. she's crying . well at least she's alive, she's pretty lucky in a way, that motorcycle could have killed her, she's very lucky to be alive. And I’m glad she is.
The whole time I’m watching her Max and Isabel are whispering to each other. Max looks out of it. More even so than me. what is it with this guy, he's actually showing some emotion for a change. I don't care, I just want the Paramedics to get Liz out of there in to the hospital where they can treat her.
I offer to go to the hospital with her, Max interrupts me. No, I want to go with her I say, he just holds me back. Tells me the sheriff will be here soon to see me. Oh great that’s just what I need. but I persist, I have to be certain Liz will be ok. Or I’ll never forgive myself for what happened.
I can feel him grip my arm harder. He’s clenching his teeth, now is not the time, I tell him. He doesn't seem to understand.
OK Guys, Isabel chimes in. Max lets go of me. And I'm off, running after the paramedics, I’m in the back of the ambulance and I’m holding her hand now. She's going to be ok. She has to be.
Max, what did you see? When you tried to heal her? Max tell me, why are you so upset?
"Max, MAX!!!!! Answer me, what did you see in the flashes? Did you see what happened to her? Who did it? Will she be alright?
"No, yes, I don't know anything anymore, is. I saw, I saw, me, an older version of me talking to Liz, it doesn't make sense, "
"What doesn't make sense?"
"He, I , asked her to make me fall out of love with her" ? And then I saw Kyle. Liz and Kyle. It was a set up. She never did sleep with him iz" there’s other things too. Don’t know what they mean. I need to speak to Liz again. when she's better I couldn't heal all the injuries,"
"What do you mean it was a setup, god max, what are you talking about?
"I don't know, look I’m going over to Maria's , I’ll see you later. "
We're at the hospital, Liz is in good hands now, they told me to wait out here. But I don't want to wait any longer, the doctors keep looking at me, like I’m an alien or something, then this nurse came up and asked me a few questions, I had to tell them I was her relative or they would have kicked me out long ago. They must know who I am by now, Sean the Juvie, wonders never cease, I’m quite a popular guy, but for the wrong reasons. I never wanted to be popular, never, but everything changed one sunny day, a couple of years ago, when I got into trouble at school. When I nearly killed some guy, a guy that I stabbed because he asked for it, I did it for my mom, I didn't have a choice. he asked for it.
"Sean, Sean, where is she? WHERE'S Liz? " Oh my god , how is she?
"Maria, calm down, she's ok, they told me she's a lucky girl, some head trauma and broken bones, but she's ok, considering it was a motorcycle."
"OH Thank god, I need to see her, I need to see her now! where is she,? Max told me she was here"
"Max? He told you?" when?
"Thats not important right now Sean, Liz's welfare is, "
"Hey, Liz is very important, and I care for her too, so be easy on me k?"
"no I need to know what happened, how it happened and who did it Sean"
Back at the Evans house.
"can't believe it, everything she did, for me for us, I just, I was so bad to her, how could I ever doubt her? I should have listened to my heart, I knew there was something wrong, she wasn't acting like herself, she was pretending, lying. "
"And she did this all for you"
"yes iz, and for you too, and Michael."
"Look, I don't know what to say, but Liz has always been Maria’s friend and I trust her."
"Michael since when did you care about Liz, you've always been against her from the start, and now, this? You realise she saved your life?"
"Stop pacing up and down Max !you're making me dizzy" Look whatever reason she did this for, we need to know more about it,"
'I agree with Isabel, we need to know more." I say we pay a visit to the hospital."
"She's still recovering, we can't just waltz in there and demand answers, give her time, Michael, give her some time.
"I need to know a few other things too, like what the hell was Sean doing with her, how come he found her when he did and what’s his story." I don't trust him. I know he's Maria’s cousin et al, but I don't trust him around Liz."
"You mean, you don't want him around Liz, face it Max , she's finally moved on. like you have."
"No, Michael, I won't accept that. Never.
I'm here to see Liz again today; it’s been a couple of days since she came in. She's getting much better, the doctors said she'll be out today but that she had to take it easy, no school or walking for a couple of days she has to get her strength back, she's still so weak.
I see her now, she's sitting up in bed. Maria is by her side, so is her mother. I want to go in but they seem so busy and occupied, I’ll wait a couple of minutes out here, I don't want to intrude on them. but when I look in again I see Liz motioning for me to come in. so in I go.
"Hey Parker, how are you?"
I see Sean, and I feel like I owe him so much, if it wasn't for him, I probably would still be lying face down in the road, in a small way I’m embarrassed too for the way it happened and how I was at the time, I don't know why maybe because he was there, and Max wasn't and I’m a little ashamed that Sean saw me that way, so utterly depressed and completely out of it. And then he had to witness seeing me that way. I’m glad he was there for me. He is a good friend. I can't help but notice him, he looks different today, like I don't know, I don't see him as Sean, just plain Sean, and he’s smiling at me and looks sincere. He definately looks good today. Roswell must be agreeing with him.
"Hi Sean, yeah, I feel good, yeah, um; I never got a chance to thank you for bringing me in that time. So thank you Sean".
"Your welcome, I’m just glad I was there at the time. To help you out,"
"good, well I’m glad. Um, Sean, can you stick around for a couple of minutes, I need to talk to you about something. Could you sit here."
"Liz's mom and Maria give me this look like, don't even think about it, how could they think like that, as if I’d do anything to hurt her, and then they leave, all the while there is silence in the room and I’m beginning to get nervous about what she's going to ask me."
"Hey Sean, I just wanted to know what really happened to me that night, I mean I know you found me and called an ambulance, but I don't know anything else. Could you fill me in.?"
"I can help you there!"
"I see Max in a second, standing in the doorway, with Isabel and Michael in behind him. Sean looks in their direction and then looks back at me with a kind of solemn face"
"I try to find my voice and say something but I don't know what to say, I guess Max has the right to visit, since he is a friend of Liz's. I JUST don't want to see Liz upset again. I don't know why Max is staring at Liz with that intensity, what is up with the guy, one minute he's shacking up with the blonde girl and the next he wants to be around Liz. "
Hi, Sean, "
He just walked right past me towards Liz, all the while I’m watching him, he doesn't keep his eyes off her, I’m a little unnerved by him I got to admit he has this air about him. Like he's important or something.
I don't know what the deal is with him and Liz, but for Liz's sake I hope she makes the right decision. This guy isn't doing her any good, and I intend to stick around to see how this all turns out.
"Liz, " I say, do you want me to leave? Or I can stay if you want? In reality I want to stay, but if she wants me to.
"No, Sean, please stay, Max isn't going to be staying that long anyway, are you max?"
I look at Max and he's totally surprised by what I just said, little miss pushover Parker doesn't live here anymore, "so Max, what do I owe the visit to?"
Why is she so cold towards me, she's putting up a front, I know she doesn't mean it,.
"Actually I was concerned for you, I saw the way you were after Sean here, brang you in to our house, I was there with you too, you know, and Isabel called the ambulance. We all want you to get better."
"well thanks, " it didn't come out how I expected I was too sincere just then, I’ve got to take charge of my life now, I’ve been a nice little girl for so long, I let people push me about and hurt me, but its not going to be that way anymore. I won't let him get to me again.
"Anyway, I hear you're coming out today, erm, I’m glad you're better, and I just wanted to let you know that I’m here if you want me, that is to talk , what I mean to say is, I want to talk to you about a few things, if you let me"
"What is he talking about? This guy isn't making sense, this is a complete 180% he's pulling here, what’s with the googly eyes and pleading look, I can't take much more of this, but I want to hear what he' s got to say, got to know what this guy is thinking,"
"well you know I was talking to Sean when you interrupted us, so if you don't mind I’d like you to leave now, thanks for coming, really thanks for helping me out, I’ll talk to you tomorrow Max, I’m tired and I need some rest."
Ok", but I really have something important to discuss with you, and it can't really wait,"
"No Max please leave"
and with that Max turns his face towards me and gives me the look, you know the look a guy gives another guy, when he doesn't trust you, especially when a girl is at stake.
"So long Max"
Liz is upset now, I thought she may be, she was a little tense, putting up her borders especially for the Max trio, I get up from my seat, and approach her slowly, she looks at me with those big brown eyes of hers and her hand is now touching my arm, I don't know what to do, should I hold her or not, what will she think?
A million and one things run through my mind at that moment, but I give in, this is Liz we're talking about here, I hold her, she's so fragile its no joke, I’m sitting on her bed with her, her head is on my shoulder we're so close, too close, I feel weird like, I want to be near her, but I don't want her to think I’m forward or anything. She's hugging me like there’s no tomorrow, I feel all warm and dizzy. I hold her tighter while she cries then she stops and looks up at me. I can't quite make out what she wants from me, its like she wants me to do something, I’m anticipating her to move away from me now, and she does, but then she holds my hand, and then she places her other hand on my face, and this is it, her face is level with mine, and I can smell her perfume, its sweet smelling its jasmine, I think jasmine is my favourite flower right about now, I focus my eyes on her eyes, and I can't help but look at her mouth, I want to kiss her , but I won't not now, she doesn't really want to kiss me, does she? And that’s when it happens, her lips are so moist and tender, she kissed me first, she kissed me, I can't believe it, its like a dream, and I kiss her back with longing, I’ve wanted to kiss her again for a long time, and then that’s when we get interrupted. By Max.
"What’s going on here?" Liz?
I pull back and see Max standing there like he just saw a ghost, I look at Sean and he's just smiling at me, its a sincere smile, and he's blushing, he's eyes are on my face and waiting for a response from me, so is Max, its funny I never thought I would be so carefree at this moment, but I am, and the reality of Max standing there and waiting for an explanation isn't doing him any favours, I don't have to answer to him.
Now maybe he's getting what he deserves, its payback time. Maybe now he'll know what its like to see the one you love kissing someone else. But then again, why do I feel a pain in my heart, when I look at him, why?
You know I’ll never forget the look on his face, when he saw me kiss Sean, I guess I surprised him but he took it well, too well actually, right after that he said he was sorry that he interrupted us, and that he came back because he forgot to give my something. And then he left.
Sean and I just stood there watching him leave.
Its a week later now and I’m getting into a normal routine, I haven't started my classes yet, my father thinks it can wait his little girl needs to recover in her own time. that’s what I heard him say anyway to my aunt in Florida. I'm really getting bored though, there’s so much free time. And most of it I’m spending with my friends.
I still haven't opened the small box Max left me. I want to and then I don’t, I think I have an idea of what it is, I think it’s a pendant. Or some other item of jewellery.
Another week has gone by, I haven't seen Max lately, but I have a feeling I’ll be seeing him soon. I heard he was asking about me to Maria, he was concerned about not seeing me in school and thought I was either avoiding him or avoiding him. And he's right; I have, for reasons of my own. It’s just too painful for me, seeing him and Tess together all the time. I need time away time to think. Time for myself.
"OK Maria, I’ll be there in a sec, sorry sir, what was your order?"
"Moon burger and fries? Coming up?
"Maria, can you serve Sean? " I'm really overloaded right now,"?
"hon you know you gotta speak to the guy sometime,!
"Maria! Listen to yourself, remember what you told me?
"Yes, look I know I told him to keep away from you, he's a juvie yada, yada, but he is a human after all, hey, he's a deluca?
you can't just make him out to be invisible , he is my cousin you know!" look, I know you're still upset with Max and Tess, but that’s no reason to shut everyone else out. ok? Hey if he gives you trouble just hit him on the head. works every time"?
"I don't believe what Maria just said, she of all people . Oh well".
"Sean, what can I get you?
"Hey parker, I’ll have some fries and a coke please."
I’m watching her walk away, and I can't help but feel confused, one minute she wants me, the next I don't exist, it hurts me more than anything else. I thought I had a chance. Who are you fooling Sean. She doesn't really care about you, its Max Evans she loves. And then I can't help but feel jealous of the guy. How can he get so lucky!
"Here you are Sean, so hows it going? I heard you were looking for a job, ?
Yeah, I’m still looking, pretty hard you know getting a job around here, more hard for me, because you know, a juvi, but I’m not giving in just yet, "
"that’s great, I’m glad for you, and I hope you find one soon."
She's doing it again, the friendly chit chat, it’s as if she's uncomfortable talking to me. She glances at the other tables every second or so, she doesn't want to be seen with me. I don't blame her, after all who am I? But I have to try to make it better for her. So I say this thing that I really didn't want to, but I do anyway.
Liz, um, can I, can I just say that you know what happened in the hospital, it doesn't have to mean anything to you if you don't want it to."
I can tell he's upset, it must have taken him alot of courage to say that, he doesn't deserve this, none of us do. God I wish I didn't exist right about now. I look at him and he's so sad. It’s my fault really I kissed him and led him on. I shouldn't have done it, but at the time it felt right. I wanted to. I feel guilty for saying that. What is wrong with me, won't I ever be able to forget about Max.
"No Sean, you don't have to say that. please just let it go.?
"thanks for being so understanding "
"no problem , what are friends for? We are friends right?
"Sure we're friends."
He gives me this shy smile and then I walk off, I’m thinking maybe just maybe Sean is just what I need. Maybe he can make me forget the pain. But I know it’s going to take alot of time for that to happen, and I’m not even certain I’ll ever get over Max.
I walk through the back doors and I’m suddenly being pulled by the arm, then I feel him, I feel max everywhere, he's kissing me, hard, he won't let go, I try to fight it. Its no use and I give in. he holds me to him, he's so warm and strong, he caresses my back my arms, my face, why is he doing this to me. He’s supposed to be with Tess, the flashes come now, too quickly, things I want to see, and then things I didn't, most of them with Tess. But I’m like a helpless child. I let him in. he's too strong for me, and my love is too strong for him.
"Max, Max,?"please stop."
"Liz, Liz I have to know"
"Have to know what?"
"If you still love me?"
"Max I can't answer that. What’s got into you? Why are you doing this?
"Ever since the accident you had, I've been meaning to talk to you, and you keep avoiding me. I came to the conclusion today that I had to do something. And quick. This was the only way to find out the truth"
"so basically you used me to get information?" are you happy now? you got what you wanted?
"No, it’s not like that." I already know what happened between you and Kyle; I know it was a set up Liz. But I needed to see it from you"
"well now you have and you can go now"
"Look Liz, I didn't mean to hurt you."
"Hurt me? I don't think you can hurt me anymore than what you have already, but wait, now I'm not so sure"
"I have some questions, are you sure it wasn't a shape shifter?"
"Nope, it was you max, an older version" It was definitely you, satisfied! Look I'd know you anywhere!"
"And you did this all for us, me, Isabel and Michael?"
"Thank you Liz"
"Is that all, you can go now,
"one more thing, I just want you to know that I’m sorry for the way I treated you, I know I hurt you, "
”Yes, you did. "
” I'm sorry for everything"
I'm just standing here in shock, I never thought she would react in that way, I was sure when I was kissing her this is what she wanted too, I could feel her emotions, she still loves me, I'm sure of it. But too much has happened and now I don't know what to do so I leave but not before looking at her one more time, I can see it in her face, she still loves me."
I'm so tired of all of this, why won't he leave me alone, just when I thought I could live without him, he does this to me, I’m emotionally exhausted, I need a break. Somehow I manage to make my way up to my room and close the door behind me, I change out of my uniform and slip into my jeans and casual top. Now what to do. I don't want to lie here and think about max anymore, I want to forget. So I make my way downstairs again. I make up my mind I’m going out and I think I know where.
I knew I'd find him here, its his place, the bowling alley, where else?
He hasn't seen me yet, I creep up behind him and put my hands over his eyes, he stops moving and then I hear him say my name.
Yes its me, how did you know?"
"Who else could know I'd be here/"
"So what do I owe the pleasure to?
"Oh nothing, I got bored and wanted to do something different, you know bowling is quite addictive?"
"Yeah it can be,"
I'm surprised she's here, I thought she didn't want to know me anymore, after the friends talk this afternoon, I knew I didn't stand a chance but here she is, and I'm quite taken that she came here, she must have known I'd be here, or is it that she wanted to see me, quit it Sean, you're hopeless, she just wanted to bowl, nothing else. She's not here for you."
His eyes are on me, he's watching me closely, its like he wants to say something, but he's afraid to say it, "time to bowl, I say,"
"here, take this one, its a lucky one"
he hands me the bowl and his hand touches mine in the process, he keeps his hand on mine, its warm, his skin is rough but warm, I look up to his eyes and his are on mine, I smile at him, he grins at me, shyly and then we start to go our own ways, me to start the bowling and him behind me, watching my every move.
I turn around and see him approach me, what’s wrong I ask?
"Nothing, its just that your technique needs a little work, want me to show you?"
"here, take this one"
That’s when it happened, he touched my hand again, and this time he meant it, he took a step closer to me, I didn't move from my spot, I just froze, but the thing is, I wasn't frightened, I was prepared for this, he gently touched my face with his hand, he stroked my cheek, then he moved a stray hair away from my face, all the time I was watching him he was watching me too, I could hear his breathing getting closer and closer, that’s when I took the initiative, I let myself kiss him,
We kissed so slowly, it was so loving and gentle, who would think that a guy like Sean would treat me like that, but he surprised me, so much, he kissed me like he was starved, we couldn't get enough of each other, our tongues were duelling and our bodies were grinding together.
It was getting hot, too hot, I couldn't stop if I wanted to, things were getting out of hand, oh god, I want more, what’s happening to me, I guess I just want to be loved,
"Sean, kiss, Sean, please stop"
"Erm, Liz, "
"this isn't the place, please"
it was so hard, to stop myself, I didn't want to, but I knew I had to, for Liz, if that’s what she wanted.
I'd do anything for her. To make her happy.
I told him to stop a couple of minutes ago but we're still going strong, oh god, what do I do, I feel light headed and happy, yeah, I feel happy but I'm not quite sure why I'm feeling like this, this shouldn't really have escalated, but I can't seem to stop, in the back of my mind I feel a nagging feeling of regret, only 1/2 hour ago I was kissing Max, and now I'm here with Sean the most unlikely guy I would ever consider forming a relationship with, then I think of Tess and their destiny and I'm back to where I was before, so I kiss Sean some more and that’s when I know he needs me as much as I need him this moment
It’s so hot here. I'm burning up in his arms.
I look at her now, and I'm delirious she's here with me, with me, and its me she's kissing not that Max guy. I can't stop touching her face, her arms her hair, I need more but the bowling alley is not exactly the place that I envisaged this happening at, but I look at her again, and I realise she wants it too, then that’s when I take the next step.
I'm watching her every move, every facial expression to see if she changes her mind, I don't want to force her, then she surprised me, she starts pulling at my shirt, then one by one she undresses me, all my clothes are on the floor.
Time seems to stand still, and I'm slowly being consumed by her, by her scent, her touch her taste, we're standing here together, trying to devour one another, its so hot in here, she must be hot too, I slowly reach for her top and then she stops me. I see a small grin developing on her face, and then she surprised me by yanking her top off her self.
Oh god, I think I'm in heaven. This is too good to be true, I'm scared she'll change her mind, and then leave me here alone, and I'm scared that she'll regret anything we do tonight, but she hasn't said anything yet.
We’re on the floor now together, tangled in each other's arms examining each other’s bodies, sweating and panting, needing more, he's caressing me. I can feel his hands on me, everywhere, I so need to be loved, and the strange thing is I don't feel like stopping anytime soon.
ALL our clothes are strewn all over the alley, I touch her, she's so soft, her skin is so pale, and tender, I look up at her and ask her, if this is what she wants, yes, she says, my heart rate has increased so much since she said that, I can't hear anything else, I know she's a virgin, and I don't want to take advantage of her. So I ask her one more time, and that’s when she takes my hand and does the most endearing thing I've ever seen her do, she kisses it.
I look around the alley, I spot a slot machine, I tell her to wait for me, and I come back with the item that we need, then we're back to where we were, together on the floor.
I'm so out of it right now, I don't care anymore about anything else, I try to not spoil the moment by thinking about him and her, but they're still there, the hurt is still there, and that’s when I feel him, Sean, he's marking me with his lips, on my breasts, my stomach and his moving downwards, sucking me, teasing me till I feel so wet,
He’s moving so slowly, its torture.
"Sean, please don't stop? "
He gives me this look, his hesitating, I tell him not to, and then I feel him, He touches my folds, inserting his fingers, inside of me, then I feel his member, he enters me with one quick thrust, its painful at first and I wince, he stops then touches my face, asking me to carry on. Make love to me Sean, and do not stop.
Oh god I can't describe it, its ecstasy, I think I just fell in love with Liz parker for definite. She's so tight; I think I'm going to die here. I'm on such a high, I feel like I'm flying.
His moving inside me so slowly, I feel him everywhere, he's taken his time, and he's killing me, this feels too good, why did I ever wait this long? He’s getting faster now, and then I feel that feeling, my walls clench, this is it, the climax, I feel him breathing heavy now, he's there too, he's trembling and so am I, he holds me to him, so tightly, and I'm clinging to him with a death grip, oh this is too good to stop, we're kissing like hungry wolves now, we're one.
I can't stop, I can't get enough of her, why is it this girl has such an affect on me, I’ve never felt like this before, I reach out my hand to her I call her name again, to make sure she's still here with me and I'm not dreaming, yes, she's here, I take her in my arms and shift positions, I'm holding her on my chest, she's stroking my chest my arm, she's still trembling, I need to keep her warm, I look to where the clothes are, and reach for my shirt, and lay it on her,
I'm lying in his arms, I'm so undone, I couldn't move even if a bomb exploded, so we lay there together, him stroking my hair, and me slowly drifting off to sleep, together.
|posted on 2-Sep-2001 7:48:20 PM|
I open my eyes and the first thing I see is Sean, he's still asleep, I don't want to wake him but I look at my watch and realise we've been sleeping for a couple of hours, I should really go home, and so should he.
I gently nudge him, and wait for a response, he opens his eyes and then I feel his hand holding mine,
"Are you ok? ,
"Sure, Um, I think I am, its 2.oo in the morning, I think I should dress and leave "
"me too, Liz, I just want you to know that last night "
"Sean, please, "
"no I want to say it, I think I'm in love with you.
I don't know how to react to that, I'm surprised, and sort of overwhelmed at the same time, I don't know what to say to him.
"Sean, I just, I'm happy, yeah, I'm happy, but are you sure you're not just saying that?
"Liz, I told you that you were special, and I meant it, and now, I feel so close to you. Last night, it was the best, and I'll never forget the way we were"
He whispers the last sentence and I feel goose bumps forming on my skin, he sighs and the next thing I know his lips are on mine, asking for access, and I let him, we kiss each other with passion and a new awareness of each other.
He holds me for a little while, I like the way he holds me, its so gentle yet possessing, we make up our minds that we need to get home, before they call a search party.
"Hello? Max? Look I just got a phone call from Liz's mom, she's worried about her, she says that Liz never returned home last night, and she has no idea where she is, and um,
"Maria? What else is there?
"um well, Sean is missing too!
"I'm on my way " click."
"So? We’re here, you can let go of my hand now,"
"I don't want to, "
"Sean, you're being sweet, but I really need to leave you now, my mom is probably waiting for me as it is, and believe me, you do not want to see them, especially now!"
"When will I see you again? I mean, its like I miss you already, "
"I’ll see you later on, k?"
K" I hope you don't get into too much trouble,"
he's still standing there, watching me, he gives me a quick peck and then he leaves. I turn around and start walking, I glance back again just in time to see him wave at me,
"I'm going to be in so much trouble now, I hope they're asleep, I don't really feel like a confrontation right about now, I slowly make my way through the Crash down and up the stairs, but I'm too late, I can hear noises, I walk into my room and I see 4 pair of eyes stare at me. Oh god!
"And just where the hell have you been young lady? Do you know what time it is?"
"sorry mom" I just lost track of time, it won't happen again, I swear!"
"Answer my question, where were you?
"I was at the bowling alley,
"What was you doing at the bowling alley so late, was Sean with you Liz?"
"And where is Sean anyway? I want to talk to him"
"No I’d really like to see him, we have a few things to talk about, "
"Its not his fault, if your going to blame him for this, just forget about it, it was my idea"
"Do you realise I had to call Max and Maria and half of Roswell to find out where you were? Do you realise how much worry you've caused everyone?
"I'm sorry mom, what else can I say?
"Can I speak alone with Liz, if you don't mind?
"Ok, maybe you can knock some sense into her,"
Everyone leaves and its just me and Max in my room,
"Look Liz, I don't know whats going on with you and that Sean guy, but I really would like an explanation, this isn't like you"
"Isn't like me? "
"You know I’m right, now tell me what you were doing,"
He's standing opposite me, waiting for my response, should I tell him the truth? Or not?
"Look Max I’m tired and I’d like to go to bed, so if you don't mind,
"I do mind, very much, do you know how worried I was, I thought something had happened to you, all sorts of things were going on in my mind, what if you were harmed by someone, or something,
"But nothing happened to me, well, not that I didn't want anyway,"
oh no, I shouldn't have said that, I realise but too late,
he's giving me the pained look, his eyes narrow and I realise he has an idea of what I'm talking about. He whispers the next words,
"how could you? With Sean?"
I can't look at him right now, I don't want to see his expression, it'll destroy me even though it shouldn’t, why should I care anymore what he thinks, me and max are over, he's with tess now, he has no say in what I do.
That’s when I hear him make his exit; he bangs the door on the way out.
I collapse on my bed, and try to come to terms with what just happened between me and max, was I right in telling him? And why did he respond in that way, did I hurt him so much? Surely by now, he would have no feelings for me, or am I mistaken?
This morning came too quickly, I overslept and now I’m running late for my classes. I hate it when this happens, and I’m not looking forward to seeing Maria today, no doubt she will be grilling me for more information about last night. And then threes Max, I don't even want to think about it right now, I’ll cross that bridge when I have to.
About last night, yeah, it was surreal, different, my first time, monumental I suppose, then I think of Sean, and how things will be between us from now on. Time to go.
I make my way down stairs and my mom sees me, I want so badly for her to understand me, she is my mother and she deserves the truth, I hate lying to her, I hope we can work things out, but right now my brain is in 1st gear and I couldn't bear another argument with her, so I try to be the good daughter,
"good morning, mom,"
"Morning, young lady I want to talk to you when you come home from school, ok?
"Right, ok, is this going to be about last night? Because I need to speak to you to, I guess I do owe you an explanation and I’m sorry, really sorry,
"Sorry for what you did?
"Well, yes and no"
"we'll talk later, right now you father needs me,"
and she leaves me standing in the kitchen. So much for daughter mother bonding.
"Hey Liz, ready to go?
"Hey Maria, yeah, I’m ready, lets go."
"Ok, chica, look I know you don't want to tell me anything, but I just want you to know I am your friend, and I’ll never willingly let you down, what I’m saying is, I know you've had bad things happen to you, we all have this past year, but you can trust me!" so if you need a friend to talk to, you know where I am"
I wasn't prepared for that, Maria is being so Maria right now, I love her dearly, I want her support, but I don't know how she'll take it, if I tell her, but I know that if theirs one person I can trust its Maria, she's like my sister that I never had,
"Maria, um , I don't know how to say this, you know that Sean and I have been getting kind of close,
"Well last nite, we got really close"
"you what? you’re telling me you two had SEX???????/
"Maria, don't shout it out, "
"Liz, what were you thinking?
"ok, calm down, take deep breathes,
"Maria, why are you so surprised?
"Because I never thought in a thousand years that you and Sean, which by the way is my cousin and jobless at this very moment, and going nowhere fast would get it on. Besides I didn't think you liked him in that way,"
"I know, I didn’t, not at first, he just grew on me, it doesn't matter what people say, ok, he did a bad thing in the past and that everyone treats him like an outlaw and no good, but I see him entirely different, he is a good guy, to me, and Maria, please, don't be angry with me k?"
She gives me this you must be joking look, and hits the brakes of her car, we're here, "she says, the she turns to me,
"Liz, do you care for Sean, I mean, really care?
"Yes, I care for him.
"Because I don't want to see either of you hurt, I’ll always be your friend,"
"Thank you Maria, I’m glad you understand,"
"ok, chica, time for school!
we're walking down the hall together, me and Maria, I see Isabel, Michael, and tess talking to each other, but no sign of Max, 1st lesson is Chemistry, so I take my books and start making my way to the room.
I enter, and that’s when me and Max make eye contact, I make my way to the back desk and sit down, I can feel someone watching me, who am I kidding , its got to be Max, what does he want from me this time.
The class is over. I’m so relieved, Max didn't say anything to me the whole time in class, I wasn't prepared either, so that was a good escape. Time for lunch and to find Maria in the quad.
Maybe this wasn't a good idea, having lunch in the quad, I’m getting death glares from Isabel and Max is just plain unreadable, he has a blank look on his face, Maria keeps asking me if I’ve talked to Max today, and I ignore her, truth is I wouldn't know what to say to him, what do 2 people that have broken ties say to each other? And by the look on his face I don't think he wants to talk to me let alone be near me.
But maybe I was wrong, he's walking towards us now, ducking my head I try to make a quick escape, but I’m a little slow, he catches up to me,
"where are you going,”
"To my next class! Why?
"I want to talk to you,"
"is it important?"
"ok, lets go sit down somewhere?
He's acting like a robot and not showing any emotion, I just want it to be over, and quick,
"So what is it?
"Ok, well you said to me that you and whats his name,
"Yeah, Sean, are sort of friends, but now I understand that you're more than friends, so, erm, I want to know if you're going to tell him our secret,
"what do you mean, our secret?
"That we're aliens,
"well? Are you?
"No, I’m not, and why would you think that anyway,
"because to tell you the truth, I'm not sure if I can trust you anymore,
"what bring you to that conclusion?
"I feel like you've changed, too much, and I don't know you anymore,
I can't believe he just said that, I’m not going to sit here and take this from him,
"you mean, just because I’m seeing Sean? That’s it isn't it,?
"NO! THATS NOT TRUE!
"Don't shout at me!
"I CAN'T HELP IT, YOU DID THIS TO ME, HOW COULD YOU?
"I haven't done anything to you,?
"Tell me the truth Liz, did he threaten you? Because I refuse to believe you did it with free will, after everything we had. You know I still care for you, and then you go and do something like that with him! He’s no good for you, I don’t like him, ever since I saw him I had a bad feeling and now this, HOW COULD YOU?
"MAX! It's not like that, you're wrong,
"IF YOU WON'T TELL ME THE TRUTH I KNOW SOMEONE WHO WILL, AND I'LL FIND OUT,"
He is so angry, I haven't seen him so angry before, I’m afraid of what he'll do, I have to stop him, I know he's going to see Sean, and I don't know what to do. I have to stop him but how,?
"WAIT, MAX STOP!"
What do I do, everyone is staring at us, He walks off and I run after him. He's getting into the jeep, I don't believe this, I have to do something.
"Listen to me, Max, please! Take me with you,
Take me with you? Those words I’ve heard before, I turn and see her face, begging me to take her, do I or don't I that is the question,, "Hop in"
Max is driving like a mad man, wait a minute, this isn't right, we're headed out to the desert, what in the world is he doing,
"Where are we going Max? He looks at me, but says nothing, he's gripping the wheel like a lifeline, and his eyes are focused on the road, I glance every so second at him, this brings back memories,.
"We’re going on a little walk, together,
"But this is the desert?
do I really have a choice? I have no idea what he's thinking the truth is he's scaring me; I hope I’m wrong.
We walk for about a mile and then he stops at the caves, the famous pod chamber, of course,
"so we're here, care to tell me what’s going on /
"after you tell me what’s going on with you
"look Max, I know you're with Tess, and I’m happy for you, it is your destiny which I have no part of.
"Me and Tess are not together anymore
"I don't believe you,
"It’s the truth, actually we haven't been together for a couple of weeks now, since your accident, since every thing came out to the open.
"Well I had no idea, well it really isn't my business anyway,
"No, you're wrong,
"Max, could you bring me back now,
"Not until I do this,
I try to get away from him, damn he's too strong,
"Let go of me, Max!
He won't let go of me, no, he can't force me to stay here,
I need to be near her and I need her to see how I feel about her, she thinks I don't love her anymore, if only she knew, how I miss her so much, she has no idea.
I’m kissing her, even though she's putting up resistance, that I can understand but sometimes you have to take the initiative.
She tastes just the same, kissing her is like, I can't describe it, heaven,. I see things now, but somehow, I know she'll be blocking them from me.
Damn, how could you do this Max, I can't fight you, the flashes are different, I’m having a hard time concentrating on blocking mine from you. This has to end now, but I feel paralysed. He still won't let go of me, but then he pauses, I open my eyes and I’m looking into amber pools. A look of astonishment on his face, what did you see?
"I saw the truth.
"You still love me don't you?
I turn my back to him, I need to think about this, I 'm so confused at this moment,
The truth is I do love him, so much that it hurts, and now that I know he's not with tess, I can't help but feel a little relief, but I’m with Sean, I can't do this,
He comes to face me and asks me again,
Max, I can't lie to you, I do love you. But,
"wait a minute, but what?
"I'm with Sean,
"Forget about him
"That’s easy for you to say, I don’t know what to do,
"Liz what are you trying to say? Do you care for this guy, as much as you care for me?
"Its not easy to say, please, don't push me,
"Do you know how hard it is to watch you with another guy and to know that, that he touched you, and done things to you that only I should do? Do you know how angry it makes me?
"Max, please! He's really upset and as much as he is, he’s making me feel bad too, I don't like seeing him this way.
"I love you, and I wanna be with you, what so difficult about that? You hurt me Liz, what you did , you hurt me alot, but I still want you. But the question is, do you want me.
she jumps up into my arms, I hold her, I knew it, she can't refuse what we have, love like this doesn't come easy, and no one can take her away from me now,
I couldn't lie to myself any longer, I love Max, I truly do, I just hope he loves me back, I feel bad in a way, for Sean, I don't want to hurt him, I do have feelings for Sean, but I can't truly say that they are stronger than the ones I have for Max.
Our hug is turning into a make out session, but threes so much I want to tell her, I don't want to keep anything from her, I want things to be great between us again. Just like it used to be, no more lies, or secrets from each other, but, threes some things I need to do first,
To brand her as mine.
He's touching me everywhere as if to memorize each part of me, he's mouth descends on my skin, lower and lower he moves, trailing kisses along my body and muttering unintelligible words. I have so much to do, so many things I need to discuss with him, I don't think he would understand me at this moment if I told him this,
I'm guilty, guilty for my actions with both of them, Sean and max, oh god, how could I do this, it isn't fair, I need to think, but thinking is impossible with Max torturing me like this.
He's kneading my flesh, causing havoc to my senses. His kisses are electric and never ending but I manage to break away and catch my breath, his eyes bore into mine with questioning.
How do I tell him? How can I possibly explain myself?
He waits for me to say something and all that comes out of my mouth is " I can't do this, please take me back?"
A look of disbelief, even anger washes over his face, I didn't want this to happen but it seems I'm too late.
How do I explain myself, last night I was in the throws of passion with another guy and now I’m with you? It simply can't be, that isn't me and not the Liz Parker I want to be, not in this lifetime or any other.
"Liz, why say that now? I thought we understood each other?"
"we do, but I need time"
"Its too soon for this, for us to "
"oh, sigh, I understand, so let me get this straight, you were prepared for him but not for me?
sigh, will he ever stop this,?
"No that’s not what I meant, "
He drops his head for a moment, I think he knows its too soon.
"Come on lets go then, I’ll take you back,
He grabs my hand and leads us out of the chamber, his grip is like iron and I swear he will leave a mark on my wrist, I feel his anger, his jealousy is surfacing, but there is no need for him to feel those things,.
The ride back was tense, we're back to where we were, him robotic, emotionless and me in utter confusion. I try to talk to him but its useless, he's not listening.
We're outside the crashdown, and I hope off the jeep, he climbs down and follows me till I stop and face him.
"Thanks for bringing me back,
"well good bye max"
"I’m not going anywhere, I’m coming with you,"
"what? Erm, are you sure?
"Well schools over and I guess I feel hungry, so yeah,
I walk through the doors and see Maria, she sees me too and motions for me,
"I walk up to her," Hi Maria, what’s up/
"Liz, what’s going on? why is he with you?
"Long story Maria, I’ll tell you later, can you serve him please,? I need to go get changed,?"
"Okay, chica, but I gotta warn you, Sean is up back, and he’s been waiting for you."
So, what do I do now, I’m in panic mode and slowly running out of options, I’m going insane. On the other side of the room there’s Max and a maybe future relationship with him if and when we sort out our problems, and on the other side of that wall is a really sweet guy who said he loves me, ?
I feel trapped. All I want to do now, is go take a nice long shower and curl up in my bed and forget about everything, but first, I need to face Sean.
I make my way up the stairs to my room , there’s no sign of anyone, until
I turn to see Sean standing in the door way, with a dazed smile on his face and a bouquet of mixed flowers in his hand, somehow he look’s strange standing there.I have an uneasy feeling about this.
"They're beautiful. Sean, you shouldn't have,"
"Not as beautiful as you, I just thought I couldn't come here empty handed,"
"Thank you, very much,
He takes a stride forward and before I know what’s hit me, he's kissing me hard. He surprised me.
"so how are you?
"I’m fine, how are you?
"Are you sure, because you seem, you seem, not happy to see me,
why would he say something like that, its ridiculous,
I admit I’m tired and was not expecting all of this right now.
"No, Sean, you're wrong, why would you think that?
I look at him with question in my eyes, did I do something wrong, does he suspect something?
"Well, I suppose coz I saw you walk in with Max and I got the impression there’s something you're not telling me,"
“Well, um Max just gave me a ride here, from school, we’re trying to be friends again, you know after I was so rude to him in the hospital”
“Oh, so, friends, that’s good, as long as its just friends”
Oh boy, where do I go from here, he suspects something’s going on.
You can cut the tension with a knife, we both stare at each other, I realise I need to get out of this situation and fast. I need to think this through, he deserves the truth, and what is the truth anyway?
“Sean, I really need to change and take a shower, my shift started ages ago, I’m so behind, do you mind?“
“Yes I mind,”
“Because I’m waiting for you to tell me the truth, I don’t believe all of a sudden you and Max became friends and I think I deserve the truth Liz. What happened”?
I hold my breath and wait for her response, this is killing me, could it be, no I refuse to believe that that she used me? That she prefers him to me,
“I don’t know why all of a sudden you don’t believe me Sean, the truth is me and Max are friends, we were friends long before you came to Roswell. Ok, I’ll tell you if it makes you feel better, he found out about you and me, and he was, lets say a little upset, and then he drove me home and that’s it”
“He was upset? Why? That guy must be real confused, someone needs to put him straight, you’re not with him, you’re with me!”
“Ok Sean, please, let it go,”
“No, I think its time Max and I had a little talk.
“Sean I don’t think that’s a good idea,
“I’m sorry Liz, I have to, don’t worry I’ll be as polite as I can be, to him anyway”
And he walks off, I haven’t the energy to go after him, I’m wondering if Max is still downstairs in the Crash down, hoping he isn’t. I don’t know what will happen if he is.
On second thought, I make my way down stairs.
“I just want you to know that I appreciate that you and Liz are friends, “
“Get to the point Sean”
“Me and Liz are together, as in very together, and I don’t want you anywhere near her. She’s mine, and you have no claim to her”.
“Oh really? Well I’ve got some news for you, she’s not yours, and she never will be, so get that out of your head.”
“Guy’s, Guy’s, keep it down,”
“Not now Maria,
“Ok, lets take this outside.”
“How about right here”
“No, this is insane, Max, Sean, stop it.
“Liz, did you tell him about us”,
“What’s he talking about?” I need to know and now, I walk over and stand in front of her, our hands entwine.
Liz? Are you and Max?
I try to reassure him, but he pressures me for more,
There it came out, he drops his hands from mine.
“I love you”.
“And I love you too” but I also love him.
“How can you? Not both of us?
“What we have, I thought it was special? I thought its what you wanted?
I have no answer to that.
“The truth is Sean, I’ve loved him for a long time.”
And then he’s gone, I look at his retreating figure, I hurt him so bad. I feel my own tears fall down my face too. I look at Max, he’s beside me, and he takes my hand and leads me to the back.
I’m crying in his arms now, I can’t help myself, I guess no one ever wins when it comes to love.
Can things get any worse? I hope not, I don’t think my heart can bear any more pain at this moment in time, I hurt Sean, without really intending to, am I such a bad person? Do I deserve all of this pain? But I can’t deny it, the truth is, its all my fault, I knew what I was doing, but I never thought about the consequences. But I do care for him, so much and max will never understand that nor like it.
We’re in my room now, and I know he wants to say something to me. I wait for him to start the questions.
“Liz? do you feel like talking?
“Because I think we need to talk about this, to get things clear, I want to be sure you’re going to be ok”
“Going to be Ok?, I don’t know, well, I think I’ll live, but since you’re here, I have a few things to ask you too, if you don’t mind,
“Why are you still here Max? Shouldn’t you be with Tess?
“Liz, I told you, I’m not with her, I don’t have any feelings for her, she’s just a friend, Look I won’t lie to you, we were intimate, but I want you to know it didn’t mean anything to me,
“So why did you, then? Be intimate with her? You must have had feelings for her?
You told me you remembered her from your previous life, that’s it isn’t it?
“I guess that’s part of it, but most of all I was just being a teenage boy, I thought that maybe,
“Maybe? Oh please! don’t give me that excuse the horny teenage boy? I don’t believe it!”
“I was confused, I just, I suppose I thought it would make me forget about you,
“Oh, well didn’t it work then?
“You know it didn’t’, what we have its, I can’t describe it, its special,
“You know what Max, I don’t want to hear it, if what we have or had was special why throw it away with one selfish act?
“What about you then? You did the same thing with him?
You’ re right, I did, but I have my reasons.
What makes you any different than me then?
“Well lets see, Sean and I wasn’t married in another lifetime, we’re human and I don’t feel a strange attractiveness to him and he isn’t doing strange voodoo on me to get attention, what else?
Just listen to me Liz, I’m being honest with you!
I know you are max, but I’ve thought about this for a long time, you and Tess that is, she will always be around claiming you for herself, you can’t deny the fact that you are drawn to her, remember last year Max? When this all started? When Tess first came to Roswell? You had no control, you were powerless to stop her, “
“I know, but Liz all that was in the past,
“Are you sure, she won’t pursue you again? That she won’t play mind tricks with us again?
“No, I can’t, I don’t even want to think about it, its over with me and her”
“I ‘m really tired, can you leave please?”
Max doesn’t seem to understand I don’t need this right now, I just want to be alone, my emotions are on overload I need some time to myself, to think about what I need to do, or not do.
Why is it when you think you’re finally getting somewhere, moving on with your life these obstacles come out of nowhere and strike you down? I actually thought I was moving on, from Max that is, when Sean came along, I was occupied keeping busy with my self, looking for something different to focus on, and a total opposite to Max appeared right before me, a new challenge and I welcomed it.
People tell me he’s no good for me, a juvie, no hoper, low life but I preffered to find out for myself, and I think I did. He has a good heart, he’s not the deepest of guys, but some things he said to me were very true. I appreciate that he was around for me when I needed him. But now that the truth has come out and I’ve lost him, it saddens me. I don’t know what will become of me.
I think I need to see him again. I need to let him know that I need him in my life.
As for Max, we still have our problems, he doesn’t seem to realise that I’m not the old Liz anymore, I don’t want to go back to what it was like before, I want a new beginning, I need reassurance and so far he hasn’t really shown it to me, as I said too many obstacles, and not enough understanding, he may say he loves me, but what about the next time?
I made up my mind, I’m leaving. Roswell doesn’t agree with me, and I don’t want to stick around and watch them together, the thought of it just makes me so angry and used. I might do something that I’ll regret.
I wanted to make things work with her, I wanted to be needed, loved, but she hurt me, if she can’t make up her mind then I suppose I’ll have to let her go, not that I ever wanted to, in a way this might be the best thing I’ve done yet.
I told Aunt Amy and she said that I would always be welcome here if I decided to come back, Maria, now that ‘s a different story, she thinks I’m just running away because I can’t handle it, but she’s right in a way.
I never wanted to leave, it was good here for a while, things are strange here, nothing making sense, there’s something going on with Max, how can he treat Liz the way he has and get away with it, and Liz, I don’t understand why she loves him, why him?
“Maria? Get the door honey”
“Are you expecting someone this early in the morning? Let me guess, the sheriff? Ugh!!!”
“Hey Maria, is Sean here?
“um yeah, what are you doing here so early in the morning?
“I couldn’t sleep last night, you know, after,
“Yeah, I know, you have great timing chica, coz Sean here is leaving today, going back to Alburquerque, to my aunt, he’ finally had enough of us.
“Go go speak to him!”
I never expected to see her again, but here she is. I’m glad and sad at the same time, wondering what she came to say. I stand here and soak her appearance in, this may be the last time I ever see her again. I must admit I envy Max Evans. Here she is looking like an angel with those doey brown eyes and her long brown hair, which I’d do anything to sift through my fingers, to touch again.
“Sean, good morning,
“Liz? What brings you by? Come to say goodbye?
“Actually I had no idea that you were leaving, I came to see you, to speak to you, about,
“Ok, well lets go outside,
“Wanna sit down?”
“Sean, I’m sorry for hurting you, I didn’t mean to, somethings I can’t explain, its difficult, I don’t think you’ll understand.
This is just driving me crazy, I don’t want her to apologise to me, I just want to grab her and show her how I feel. When I look at her now I feel my resolve slipping away. But I have to keep calm.
“I couldn’t sleep last night, I kept thinking of you and how good you’ve been to me, and the time we spent together, it was special to me. I really mean that.
In a low voice, “It was special to me too and I want to keep it that way,”
“Sean, I love you, but I’m not in love with you. I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I guess I’m not quite ready for a relationship just yet. I’m sort of confused.
My heart sank when she said those words. I can’t describe the pain.
This isn’t what I wanted to hear, not now.
“Well, you don’t love me, so what do you want with me?
“I want you to be my friend?”
“Friend? Does it matter to you if I say no? Because I won’t lie to you Liz, I want to be more than a friend, I realise that maybe we rushed into this, and maybe you’re right you don’t love me, but can I ask you something?
“Is there any chance that in time, maybe a couple of months down the line, is there any chance you’d change your mind?
What I mean to say is, if we started again and did things differently, get to know eachother do things together, stuff like that, would it be different for you? Is there a possibility you’d grow to love me? Because what I feel right now I can’t throw it away.
“You’re so sweet,
“Just let me know?
“Well, yeah, I suppose you’re right, we could start again. Take it slow.
I hadn’t even noticed that I’m holding my breath waiting for her response, this could be the deciding factor for me whether to leave or stay in Roswell. I can’t tell much from her expression, she’s still thinking about it. This can’t be good.
“I can’t promise you anything Sean”.
“I’m not asking for your promise, whatever happens, happens, I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to. This will just give us a chance.
He’s so eager, it’s quite amusing, I don’t want to let him down, but the thought of Max keeps getting in the way. He would definitely not like this. But this isn’t about Max. This is about me.
A chance to get to know the real Sean DeLuca.Yes” I say, and he is hugging me in a second. This feels good.
“So are you staying now?
“I guess I am.
It’s the weekend, my homework is finally done so maybe now I can spend some time with Maria. I promised her we’d go see the latest movie, The Mummy Returns. I hope it’s a good movie. I hear footsteps approaching and Maria’s head appears in the doorway.
“Hey, lets go.
“Wait a minute, I forgot to close the window.
“Liz, it will be ok, come on we’re going to be late”
“I’m leaving without you.”
Now listen chica, I want you to have fun, no thinking about anyone else, and by that I mean,
“I know what you mean”
“Max, Tess, and Sean.”
“Maria, I’m trying.
“Try harder! And anyways whats with you and Sean, are you two an item now?
“No, not really, and don’t give me that look!
“That boy is head over heels, girl I don’t know what you did to him,
“Oh my god I am not listening to this!
“And what about Max, have you talked to him lately?
“I saw him yesterday, with Tess.
“At the Crash down.”
“Nothing, they just ordered, ate and left, he said they were studying together.”
“You know what, I don’t buy that, there’s something going on, didn’t he say anything else?
“He didn’t, not really anyway.
“What does that mean? He must have said something, or was Tess working the voodoo on him again?
“I have no idea, but she did seem quite happy, or maybe that was an act for my benefit, who knows, she wanted to speak to me.
“Well what did she say?
“Do you really want to hear this?
“Oh you betcha,”
“Basically She said she was happy to see me working again, after the accident et al, and she also said I shouldn’t be worried she won’t be leaving Roswell anytime soon.
“ She knows about future max and the end of the world, Max told them everything.
“So, I guess I did her a favour.
“Didn’t max say anything?
“Well he did look pretty surprised when she said the last part about not leaving Roswell anytime soon. It wasn’t what she said it’s how she said it, if you know what I mean.
“I can imagine”
Meanwhile back at the Crashdown someone is entering Liz’s room via the open window, he looks around calling for Liz, but no answer, he see’s an open book on the bed and decides to take a look.
“Well we’re here, oh what the hell!, don’t look now Liz,
I just saw Max and Tess walk into the threatre together.
“Are you sure?”
“Well it looks like them. Liz, I’m sorry, we can go back if you want.
“What no, lets go in, I know you want to see the movie.
“Are you sure?
“Maria, come on, no more running away”
Why is he with her? That’s what I would like to know too. I have two thoughts in my head, either he changed his mind and really does want to be with her, and he lied to me or I could be totally wrong, it could be quite innocent, But first I’d like to ask Max, and second depending on his answer I want to pull Tess’s hair out. But first I need to find out whats really going on here.
“Now Liz, don’t say anything I wouldn’t, I don’t want you to get into trouble.
“Maria, I need to get to the bottom of this, are you going to help me out here?
“Sure babe, lets go”
Surprise Surprise, what are you two doing here?
“Hi Liz, Maria, isn’t it great, Max and I are so excited, I here the movie is better than the first one.”
“Yeah, awesome, so you two on a date?
“Well not really, I offered to take Tess because she asked me, Kyle was busy, um Liz, can I talk to you?
What a poor lame excuse, I honestly don’t believe him, and now I’m just curious as to what he’ll say to me.
“Are you sure Max, I don’t want to ruin your date”
I feel him take my arm and lead me away,
“Ah, what is it Max?
“Listen to me Liz, its not what it seems,
“Well I honestly don’t know what to think Max, what are you trying to say?
“Tess came to me, she asked me, I didn’t want to go on a date with her, theres nothing going on, you got to believe me, I’m just trying to be her friend”
“Trying to be her friend? I’ve heard enough”
“Forget it, I don’t believe you, you’re a liar.
“Don’t walk away from me”
“Why? What are you going to do? You know what, you can say all you want, but I don’t trust you anymore, stop lying to me and to yourself.
“Come on chica, time to go see the movie, I got the tickets,
“Enjoy the movie Max!
I feel so stupid standing here, what was I thinking?, and now Liz called me a liar, damn, I didn’t want this to happen, she’ll never believe me now. But I don’t believe her, she wouldn’t be so angry if she didn’t care, there’s got to be a way for me to get through to her, But how?
“Liz, I’m proud of you,”
“Thanks Maria, I just don’t know what got into me,
“It’s love chica,”
“Please Maria, don’t say that, it just complicates everything,”
“Whats complicated? Either you hate him or you love him, bear in mind that there’s a thin line between the both, so take your pick.
“I think it’s both.
“Good girl, now shush and watch the movie”
2 hours later,
“That was great wasn’t it?
“Yes, it was, I loved the Egyptian costume, and the fact that those 2 are so in love after 10 year’s of marriage,sigh,
“Come on lets get out of here,”
“I’m starving, want some fries?
“No, I ‘m tired, I’ll see you tomorrow, and Liz
“Don’t worry, everything should work out just fine.
“What do you mean Maria?
“I know what you’re like, you’re going to start worrying and
“Maria, I know, It’s just that I can’t help it. I thought Max and I had a chance, after tonight, I’m not quite sure anymore, they sure looked cosy sitting up there,
“Liz, don’t let him get to you.
It’s not so easy, sigh, well, good night Maria.
“Night Liz, hey you’ve always got Sean,
“Yeah, I suppose, I have,
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, But? he’s not Max is he?
“Maybe not, but he’s a sweet guy.
“Here we go again,
I might as well go to sleep, not that hungry anymore, thinking about Max and Tess kind of has that effect on me. I’m so angry with him. I never thought he would do this to me, after what he said in the cave that day, then again, what did he say? I can’t remember, wait a minute, didn’t he say he loved me. Yeah, right Liz, you’re such a fool for believing him.
Why is my journal on the floor, I thought I put it away, this is odd, I look up and see the window is closed, maybe, no that’s impossible, my parents are away, what is going on here. I call for my mom, I go search her room, noone.
A rush of panic streaks through. I realise someone must have come in to my room whilst I was at the movies with Maria. And my journal, god no, whoever it was, they read it. I flick through the pages, nothing is missing , all the pages are there, suddenly I don’t feel so safe anymore. Standing here in my room with the knowledge that there’s someone out there that knows everything about me, about Max, about, everything that’s happened to me in the last year. What do I do? I start pacing around my room, looking for clues, who could it have been. Maybe, it was, it was Max. Nah, why would he want to read my journal after all this time, It’s someone else. And I need to find out. I better get changed.
Out side Liz’s room.
She seems to be talking to herself, she looks so, I can’t describe it, scared? Maybe she senses me, just like I sense her sometimes, when she’s near, pause, but why would she be frightened of me. I don’t understand, unless there’s someone else in the room.
I can’t take that chance.
“OK, calm down, calm down, nothings wrong, I’ll find out who did this, calm down”
Uh, its all my fault anyway, I should have thrown that thing out a long time ago,
Where’s that damn towel? It must be in my room, damn! I ‘m so cold now.
I look around but she’s nowhere in sight”
OH m y god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Max!!!!!!!!
I can’t move, she’s standing right in front of me, um, she’s so beautiful, and naked, I’ve never seen her like this before. I thought about it a lot,”
“ Can you hand me that towel please ?
“Max? Hand me that towel quick!!
But I’m still standing here, the truth is, I like what I see, and I don’t want to hand her the towel, but she’s all cold, I can’t be that selfish, I look around and see it, I slowly pick it up, and then I walk over to her.
“Here”, I cover her with the towel. We’re so close. I can smell her shampoo and her body wash. And I want to touch her. I am touching her, but the towel is in the way.
Um Max, you can let go now.
She’s not looking at me,
How long have you been in my room? How dare you come in here and read my journal, not to mention , ugh!
“How did you get in here?
“Through the window, with my powers, why? Why do you think I read your journal?
Because when I came back from the movie, my journal was on the floor wide open, and I know for a fact that window was open, because I left it open and my parents are away. So, you tell me who closed my window?
“I have no idea, but, I’m telling you the truth, I just came now, I haven’t read your journal, ever.
“OK, OK, Wait a minute, if that’s the case, why are you here?
“I uh, I wanted to talk to you about tonight,
I can’t contain myself, she’s standing in front of me with nothing on but a towel, I want to be near her, this is so frustrating.
And? What else Max?
Um, me and Tess, we’re not together.we’re just friends. I really want you to trust me. Please”.
How can I ever trust you Max, remember you had sex with her first.
“Please don’t say that, it was just an act. You’re right, it was just that, sex, nothing else,.
An act? Interesting words you choose but the fact is you tell me you love me, then the next day I see your going on a date with Tess, now if you was me, what would you do?
“The only thing I know, is, is that when I see you with another guy, my blood boils and I feel like I want to kill him because I don’t ever want anyone else to touch you”.
“So? You’re the jealous type”,
“I guess I am”.
“But Max, the thing is, you’ve never touched me in that way, and I don’t think theres a possibility that you ever will, I mean, we’re not really together are we?”
That’s it, I’ve had it with talk I need to show her then, and I need to touch her because I so want to right now.
I claim her lips, even if she tried she couldn’t stop me now. This is something I should have done a year ago. And she wants it, she wants it as bad as I want it too.
My fingers trail down her delicate neck, down lower to her breast, I stop at the feel of the towel. I look up to her eyes for permission. She doesn’t say anything but she lifts her hand and her fingers are in my hair, her sweet mouth is on my cheek, then she’s caressing my lips, she’s outlining my features with her fingers, I can’t move, this is so mesmorising, I’m under her spell. I close my eyes for a brief moment, then I open them, she stares at me, she waits for my move, then I decide to take the initiative. The towel is on the floor and we’re both amazed at the pull we have towards eachother.
He’s fingers are scorching my skin, touching me in all the right places, our lips are fused together and even though we both need air, neither of us wants to break apart any time soon. I take his shirt off with great difficulty, then I reach for his pants.
“No, let me do it”
He stares at me from across the bed, and all of a sudden I feel so self conscious. Could it be that he’s comparing me to her. I look down in embarrassment but I feel him get close to me. His hand is stroking my face, my hair, my arm, Then he begins his attack on me. He’s sucking me, teasing me. His hands are electric working miracles to my senses. We both lay down together,
“I need to be closer Liz, I need more of you”
“Max, take me”
I move lower, and lower, I want to see her crying out for me, and only me, for her to forget anyone else and anything else she may have experienced, to need me just like I need her. She kisses my chest, my neck, I can feel the heat from her center, she holds me to her almost possessively and I so desperately restrain myself from tasting her, I let go of her hand, and start to tease my way down to her centre.
Oh I never thought Max and I would ever get this far, but he’s here with me and we both want to. I feel him getting closer to my core, I should be embarrassed but I’m not, I’m past that stage now, all that matters is our love and the way we show it.” Oh Max, oh my god,”
He’s licking me, sucking me, oh god, this is so intense, I can feel how wet I am, he still sucks me hard, he won’t stop, ah, I can’t believe he just did that, the things he does with his tongue, that’s when I feel that feeling, I can’t take much more of this, I think I’ll explode.
I hear her moaning, and it’s giving me so much satisfaction, to hear her call my name, she’s so sweet, I can’t get enough of her, but I want more. My hands hold her hips to steady her. She looks so beautiful right now, I’ve never seen her like this before, I kiss her with urgency, I can feel it, she ‘s close, as we l, but I didn’t want to rush it, I wanted it to last,
“Max, please, I need you”
Our mouths are fighting for control, neither one of us are willing to let go of each other, he bites my thigh, then kisses it, licks it, then does the same all over my body he must have marked me a thousand times by now.
I feel an urgency in him, he’s so out of control, he’s almost rough, with me, he holds my body to his, he descends on my chest, oh god, he’s taking his time, my eyelids close, I start to see the flashes , its so intense, the feelings are so intense, I give in to them, I think I may have stopped breathing, theres no max anymore, its just the feelings I have of him. I see incredible colours and shapes forming in my mind. Pure bliss, peace, love.
“I love so much, god, it sounds so lame, those words are not enough, I’ll love you forever. For all time, Liz, can you hear me?
“Yes, Max, me too, I can’t take much more,
“Nor can I my love, I have to be inside you now, I want to be one with you.
Liz, theres no going back, are you sure?
“Don’t you want to Max?
“No, no, no, you know I do, I just want to be sure, no regrets”
“Liz, I don’t have protection,”
“I don’t care,”
“The look on her face, I just can’t refuse her anything, this is so irresponsible, but I can’t help myself.
“Max, you’re inside me, I can feel you,
“I can feel you too, Liz are you alright,
“Oh yeah, more than alright,
We share a small smile, and I start to thrust, this is how it should be, we belong together, this is right in so many ways. I lose myself in her depths the desire I feel right now, is undescribable..
His thrust are getting urgent, and quicker, uh, I think I may fall off the bed, he’s holding my hips and he comes down hard on me, deeper and deeper, I swear he reached my womb,
“Max, I think I’m falling,
“I’m falling with you. I’ll go wherever you are, I’ll never leave you.
“oh my, oh yeah, max, uh,
“You’re so tight, you’re perfect I don’t want to stop, but I have to, soon.
“Don’t stop Max, don’t ever, oh fuck!
“This is it, my mind is telling me to stop, I don’t want to, am I being selfish, what if this is wrong, and if she regrets this, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to live with myself, I want to give her everything , I want this,
“I love you so much”
“Liz, me too, more than words can say, but.
How do you feel?
I feel you all around me, I feel I can’t explain it, a new awareness, you’re the center of my world”,
“I‘m happy you said that, because that’s the same way I feel right now. That and I’m very tired.”
“Go to sleep with me love,
“I feel him trembling beside me, he won’t keep still, he loves me, this I’m certain of. We huddle together under the covers, skin to skin, exhausted, still on a high from our experience, he caresses my face, then he lifts me up to his chest, we lie there together, coming to terms with what we just did. And all the while he’s still trembling. .
|posted on 2-Sep-2001 7:52:47 PM|
“Um, Max, babe”
“Hold on Liz,”
“I am, but I can’t take much more”
“You taste so sweet, come for me babe,”
“It’s never enough, I can never get enough of you, I love the way you move, the way you look at me, when we make love, the way you scream my name”
“Max, uh, I’m coming, um”
He’s sucking me and licking me dry, his mouth is causing havoc everywhere he puts it, and he doesn’t seem to want to stop anytime soon. He’s been so possessive and he will not let go. I can’t feel my legs, all I can feel is that incredible feeling, orgasm after orgasm that keeps sending me higher and higher and it doesn’t seem to fade or go away. I look up to the ceiling the steam surrounds us, but all I can think of is did I die and go to heaven and when will this end, and if it does what will happen then..
Oh god, she’s driving me crazy, I think I’ve claimed her a thousand times, she’s definitely mine and noone is going to take her away from me, not Sean, not Tess not anyone. I’ll be damned if I make that mistake again. I stop my ministrations on her and she collapses, taking her in my arms we move out of the shower and into her room. I lay her on the bed.
Her eyes are closed but I see a hint of a smile.
“Liz? Are you ok? I ‘m sorry if I
“No, Hold me Max, don’t let go”.
Holding her is the most natural thing in the world to me, just feeling her in my arms touching her and protecting her is all I could ever ask for. How did I ever get so lucky to have someone love me, so much. I kiss her and she obliges by kissing me back, I sense her feelings, her desire, all the love she has for me, and I channel my own and send them back to her. After some time we stop and just lie back together.
“You’re tired Liz, get some sleep”
“Will you be here, don’t go”
“I’m not going anywhere, believe me,”
Some time after I wake up, but my arms are empty, Liz is gone. I get up like a bolt and go searching for her.
“Liz? Where are you?
“I can hear her but I can’t see her, this is very strange,
“Come outside Max, and make sure you’re dressed!
“Outside, what are you doing outside?
“I needed some air, and to think about a few things”
“I’m sitting outside the crashdown, In the jeep.
“what?, how? ok I’m coming.”
I look and see him striding towards me, a look of confusion on his beautiful face, this is happening so quick, but now that it has, there’s no turning back.
If you keep calling me that,KISS, I will have to take advantage of you some more,KISS.
“Max, stop it now, remember nobody knows about us just yet, “
“Why are you worried about what anyone else thinks?
“No, don’t say that, I’m not, its just that, you know, I wanted to be sure how you felt about it,
“Liz, how can you doubt me, after last night”
I don’t, but people make mistakes and I was just wondering”
“No, we are not a mistake and I’m not ashamed of you, never, so get that out of your pretty little head and tell me what’s on your mind, or in your mind, what was that earlier on, is it a new power or something that you have now?
“Well that’s what we need to discuss and few things more in private, lets go somewhere”
At the pod chamber.
“So you’re saying that when we made love we connected in more ways than one.
“And that now we can communicate with eachother with our minds.
“But how does it work”
“For it to work we have to focus all our thoughts on that one person. And hopefully that person will let you in to their mind”
“So now we can communicate with eachother whenever we want, but what about distances, how far?
“That’s what I don’t know yet, we’ll have to test this out, I’m hoping it works either way”
“What is it”
“Last night, what happened,
“Max, you don’t have to tell me you’re sorry,.
“What are you talking about, I love you, don’t you know that, I just wanted to say that you mean everything to me, I don’t care that we weren’t eachother’s first and that we wasted too much time apart and that I’ve been so stupid for letting you go. I want you to know that I’m here for you, forever, as long as I live. And I need you in my life.
“Max, Can you promise me something?”
“Promise to never break my heart?”
His hands are on my face and our eyes are glued to each other’s, I wait for his anwer
“I promise to never ever break you heart again, intentionally or otherwise, Liz, I meant what I said, I’ve always loved you”.
“No, Thank you, Liz, I have something I’d like to ask you.
“What is it Max?”
“I know we’re only 18 and maybe too young and everyone will probably think its crazy, but I want to commit, what I’m trying to say is,
I watch him with tears in my eyes, I anticipate what he’s trying to say, but its not sinking in, surely he wouldn’t, I watch him bend down in front of me, oh boy.
Elizabeth parker will you marry me?”
Elizabeth parker will you marry me?”
I stare down at his face, his eyes are pleading to me, say yes, say yes, but I’m torn.
It’s too early, I don’t know, a part of me wants to say yes, and another part of me says if I do, something terrible will happen and I’ll lose everything. I’ll lose Max again. Oh why am I being like this, of course I want to.
“Are you sure Max?”
“I’m sure as I’ll ever be, and I want this, so bad, I want you in my life permanently, by my side always. That is, if you want.”
“Max, I do, I really want to”,
“It’s just that I don’t want to lose you again”,
“You won’t lose me and I won’t lose you, we’ll be together, I promise”
“Yes, I ‘ll marry you Max Evans”
“YES!!!!!!!! Come here! I’m swinging her around in my arms and kissing her silly all over her face. I don’t care how much noise I make, this is the best day of my life! She’s made me so happy.
“Max, Max, calm down, I love you, please, put me down, I have to catch my breath!
Liz, Liz, I forgot to give you this, how could I forget, this is a token of my love.
He holds out a silver coloured box and urges me to open it.
“Well, do you like it?”
“It’s beautiful, I’ve never seen anything like it before”
I see a beautiful silver band ring with little diamonds, multicoloured diamonds, shades of every colour reflected in them.scattered all over.
“ It’s unique”.
“Yes, it is, and it’s just for you, because you’re special”.
“Come on Mrs Evans to be, lets put the ring on your finger “
At the Crashdown.
“Where is she Sean?”
“That’s what I’d like to know, got any ideas?
“All I know is she’s late, and if she doesn’t come through those doors any minute I’m going to seriously start yelling my head off.”
“Maybe she doesn’t want us to know where she is, maybe she’s hiding something”
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe she’s with Max”
“Wait, why did you say that?
“No reason, that guy’s strange, he’s trouble”.
“Sean, you don’t know anything about him”
“Hey here they come, thank god”
“Maria, sorry I’m late, I
“Chica, how could you do this to me? Seriously we need to talk, now!”
“What’s so funny?
“Nothing, I’m just happy”
“What’s going on Liz?
“Erm, Sean, can I speak to you, maybe not right now, but later”
“Sure, I’ve been waiting to see you too, there’s things I need to say “
I watch her reaction to what I just said, she’s giving me the oh I’m so sorry look, I don’t like it, there’s something going on here, the smirk on his face and the way they came in together, I got a bad feeling, I hope it’s not, not after everything that happened between us, she said we had a chance, and after what I found out, she’s sure to listen to me this time”
“Do you mind if I sit here, with you?
“Huh” um, yeah sit down”
“So how’s thing’s with you Sean?”
“Could be better, what’s going on with you and Liz”
“I think you know what’s going on”
“No I don’t, care to tell”
“Me and Liz are together now”
“I don’t believe you”
“It’s the truth, she’ll tell you herself”
“You can’t fool me Max Evans I know everything about you, and I mean everything. I know you’re no good for Liz,”
“Oh is that the case, well I don’t think you know anything, the fact is you’re the one who’s no good for her”
“Is that it? is that the best you can do?, you know what, I’ve had enough of this, I’ll find out the truth from Liz.”
I get up from the table and make a beeline for Liz, this is crazy, how could she love him, of all the people in this damn town, she has feelings for a freak. He’s just a freak who healed her.
Back of the Crashdown.
“Oh, liz it’s beautiful, I’m so happy for you,”
“Thank you Maria, I knew you’d understand, I can’t believe it either, it hasn’t sunk in yet, he actually proposed to me, wow, sounds strange”
“Now have you set a date? Have you talked this through with him? what kind of a wedding and oh my god, what about your parents?
“Parent’s ugh! I never thought about that! mom is gonna kill me”
“Don’t worry about it, I’m sure they’ll react like any other mom or dad, they’ll freak out and then get all weepy on you”
“Maria, do you think I shouldn’t have said”
“nooooooo,don’t think about it, as long as your happy and you want this, that’s all that matter’s, ooh, I’m soooo jealous”
“How could I not be? Liz, this is awesome, but you have to tell Sean, you know he has feelings for you.”
“Yeah, I know, but how do I tell him, I hope I don’t break his heart”
“Too late, you already did”
I never thought I could have this much pain in my heart, that Liz Parker would be the cause of it and now I know I’ve lost her, he proposed to her, and she accepted.
“Why? why you accept, how? How could you, do you know, oh stupid Sean, of course she knows, she knows he’s a freak, he’s not from around here.”
“Oh my god, Sean what are you talking about?
“I know Liz, I know because I read your journal”
“It was you”.
“Yes, it was me, I came last night, I saw the book open so I read it, I didn’t know what it was until it was too late, but I’m glad I read it, because I know the truth”
“You had no right to do that Sean, no right at all”
“Maybe not, but it’s done, and now I know all about the freak in Roswell”
“Stop calling him that, he’s not a freak, don’t you understand he saved my life, if it weren’t for him, I’d be dead”
“Hey, at least there’s one good thing about him”
“What’s going on here, liz?
I sensed something was wrong , I felt Liz telling me in my mind, but I didn’t think nothing of it. .
“Oh my god, Sean, put the knife away”,
“Come near me and you get it Evans”
“Ok, calm down, I’m just going to stand here,”
“Max, he’s totally insane, he knows ”
“He read my journal last night, it was him”
I stare at their faces, both of them facing each other staring in silence, one with total bewilderment edged on his face and the other with hatred, I fear for what will happen next, I knew this was too good to be true, something had to happen now, something like this to ruin everything.
“So now you know what are you going to do about it Sean?”
“That depends on Liz”
“What do you mean, it depends on me, you know how I feel. I don’t want this, I don’t want for Max to get into trouble”
“Well I have 2 option’s for you”
“Sean don’t you try to blackmail them, you have nothing, it doesn’t mean anything what you read can be torn up thrown away, you’d have no proof”
“No Maria, you’re wrong and you know it”
“So, what are your options Sean?
“Liz comes with me”
“No way, Liz is staying with me,
“Or I tell all of Roswell, including the big guys at the police department”
“You’re not serious?”
“I’m very serious,”
“What’s the second option”?
“I make a call to the sheriff’s office right now and tell them you’re holding us against our will, I’m sure the FBI will be very interested.
“You’d never get away with it”
“Wanna take a chance?”
Sean why are you doing this? I thought I knew you?
Liz, you do know me, but you don’t know what lengths I’ll go to keep you“
“She’s not your’s not now, not ever, so get that into your head”
“Don’t push me Max”
“Guy’s, guy’s this is ridiculous, can’t we all just get along?, Sean you’re my cousin, please don’t do this?”
“Maria, this is the only way I know”
I can’t believe this is happening, what do we do now? How do we get out of this, Max is by my side holding my hand, trying to keep me calm, Maria is torn, I can see it on her face, her loyalty to her family or her friends.
Liz,I don’t want you to go with him, I can’t bear the thought of him touching you,”
“Max, what do we do?
“I don’t know” I wish I could do something,
“So, guys, made up your minds?
“I’ll come with you”
“Max, it’s the only way, maybe I’ll talk him out of it, he doesn’t know what he’s doing”
“Liz, he has a knife, I don’t trust him, What if he”
“It’s ok Max, I’ll be fine,”
“Liz, this is a mistake, let me turn my self in,”
“It’s too much of a risk”
“Letting you go isn’t?”
“Hey, hey, come on, let’s go”
“Let go of my hand, Max,”
This is the most hardest thing I’ve ever done, how could she ask me to let her go, I plead with her, but the bastard grabs her arms and pulls her from me. I need to get her back, if it’s the last thing I do, but I’m gonna need help, maybe the sheriff could help us out, maybe this will all work out in our favour
We’re in his car driving down a desert road, I have no idea where we’re going or what he has planned, he hasn’t said a word since he dragged me into his car.. Thank god it’s still light that way at least I can get some clues. I look out the window and see a sign, my hopes are dashed when he speeds the car up and I miss the sign. Its no use, I couldn’t read the damn thing. There’s nothing but desert surroundingus and not a soul in sight. If he carries on maybe we’ll be near a town soon, maybe he’ll need some gas? Then I might be able to do something.
The heat is taking it’s toll, I watch his face and the droplets of sweat fall from his brow, how could I have ever trusted him, and to give myself to him, I feel so disgusted with myself.
At the Crashdown Maria, Michael, Isabel , Tess and Max.
“I don’t know! Dammit, Michael, don’t you think I’d be there chasing them if I knew where they were going!”
“Calm down Max, there’s nothing you can do,”
“Shut up Tess”
“Did I say something wrong?”
“Whatever and why are you here anyway? Michael, who invited her?”
“Maria, she’s just trying to help”
“Isabel, is there any way you could contact her, maybe dreamwalking?”
“I’ve tried that already, she’s not sleeping and I can’t get through unless she’s sleeping Max”
“What about Valenti”
“He’s not the sheriff anymore, there’s nothing much he can do. But at least there’s a apb out on him.”
“Maria, do you have any idea where he would take her? And why?”
“Max, I’m just as shocked and upset as you are. I thought I knew him, but I don’t, I’ve never seen him like that before, he’s totally gone crazy. I’m so sorry and if he does anything to Liz, I don’t know what I’ll do”
“Don’t say that Maria, we’ll find her,”
“Well we have to do something, her parents are beginning to ask questions and I don’t want to lie to them”
“Just tell them the truth,
“What, Max are you insane?
“No Michael, that’s not what I meant, all they need to know is he took liz without her consent.”
“He has a knife Max”
“He wouldn’t use it, would he?
“I don’t think he’d do that, I don’t think he’d harm Liz in that way, I’m just, there’s something else”
“What is it Max”
“He, if he touches her I’ll kill him, that’s what I’m afraid of, that’s why we have to find her and soon.”
Maybe if I can get into her mind, it worked before, but those times Liz was instigating it to me, if I just close my eyes and focus on her, she’ll let me in.
Somewhere near Albuquerque.
“Why are you stopping, where are we?”
“I figured we could find a place to sleep, we got a lot of travelling to do and this place looks decent for a couple of hours”
“Sean I don’t want to sleep, can’t we just drive? I can drive for you if your tired and that way we get to wherever it is much quicker”
“Nice try Parker, but it doesn’t work, Come on lets go get a room it’s too late for driving and I’m in the mood for something else”
“Oh god, this is my worst fear he takes my arm and pulls me out the car and leads me to a motel. I’m frantically searching for something or someone to stop us. I pray for a distraction, anything to stop this moment in time, but nothing happens.
“Hey I need a room for me and my wife”
He’s still gripping my arm, there’s no way of escaping now, how I wish Max was here, I need him so much..
“Be a good girl and you won’t regret it”
He says it with a smirk as he leads me through the door, a dingy room with a double bed. 2 chairs, table and tv. There is no shower, no toilet, nowhere to hide. The window has solid iron bars across it, I feel like I’m in prison. This is worse than I imagined.
“ Take your clothes off”
“Why should I “
“Because I said so”
“You’re insane, I’m not doing it”
“You give me no choice,”
“Sean, please, don’t do this to me,”
She’s pleading on her knees, crying, begging me to stop, I ignore her pleas and grab her shirt, ripping it as I take it off her, for a split second I feel like stopping, I can see the pain in her eyes, but I came this far I’m not stopping now. Her pants are harder to take off, I pick her up and throw her on the bed.
He’s on top of me now, holding my arms above my head, I’m struggling to get free but it’s no use, he’s too heavy and I’m too weak, but I won’t give up.
She’s trying so hard to get free she kicks me a couple of times, she must really hate me, I need to get this over and done with, I take the torn clothes and tie her arms to the bed post. She wimpers in pain”
“I’m sorry Liz”
“Sorry? If you were sorry you’d let me go, please let me go”
“All this crying isn’t going to help you, just lie back and do as I tell you”
“nooooooo!, you won’t get away with this”
She’s right, I won’t but I’m too far gone, damn why am I doing this? I can’t stand the pain she’s in I only wanted her to love me, is that too much to ask. She’s making too much noise, I need to do something..
“Sean, you bastard, let me go, before you do something stupid”
“Sorry Liz this is the only way, I have to do this”
“No don’t come near me, don’t, “
I cover her mouth and tie the ends of the material together. Her eyes close and the room is filled with silence.. I start to take off my own clothes.
5 miles away.
“Max, are you sure Hansen gave you the right information?
“He said they spotted them on this road 2 hours ago, that’s all he said, he’s got to be right, how many vw’s can there be around a place like this? “
“But where do we go from here?
“We’re near the main town, we’ll search and ask around, someone must have seen them.”
“What if he dumped the car and stole another one?
“I don’t know, I just, I can’t think right now”
Max , what’s wrong?”
“I have a really bad feeling Isabel, I really need to find her right now, I can sense her, she’s frightened”
“How do you know”
“She told me”
“How? What do you mean?
“She’s oh god, I’m gonna kill him! ”
“Ok Max” take it easy, we’ll find her, but I don’t understand how can you sense her?
“ She told me, we communicated”.
“Did she tell you where she was”
“Hotel, she’s at some hotel. She didn’t say anything else. I tried to get more, but I lost her. He’s got her tied up, the bastard is gonna pay for this“
“Watch out Max, you nearly hit that car”
“Michael maybe you should drive”
“No, I’m fine, I can do it.”
“Hey Max, your in no condition to drive, ”
“I said I’m fine”
Back at the Motel.
Max, please come quick. I don’t want to be here anymore, I want to be in your arms. I ‘m so frightened. He’s here next to me,, he’s touching me. HELP me, someone. Please.
Maybe tieing her up wasn’t a good idea. This is awkward. Maybe if I loosened,
Not a good idea Sean, she’ll try to get away. I look her up and down but hesitate for a split second, she’s so perfect, the sight of her just lying here is amazing, with her slim waist and her firm breasts, I yearn to taste her, to be one with her again, to make her realise no freak will give her what I can. And to maybe change her mind
His hands are stroking my thighs, moving higher, I shudder at the contact I realise this is it, it’s too late. Tears start pouring down my face, I lose control, I kick and scream but nobody hears me, His mouth starts assaulting and I realise I’m in deep trouble. Why? Why me?
I’m still here, but barely. I think I lost more than I thought possible. He had his way more than once, and each time he thrust into me I called out Max’s name as loud as I could because I wanted him to hear me. I’m sure he heard me each time as I felt how rough he was and how he swore he’d kill us both. Silently I wish I was dead already.
I don’t know if I want to be found now, I’m not even sure if life is worth living anymore, what’s the point, how could I go on, like this.
2 BLOCKS AWAY
“Leave me alone, I uh, I have to”
“Come back, what is wrong with you ”
“Michael, I swear I’m going to kill him, when I find him he’s going to wish he was dead”
“Maria, I’m scared for Max, I’ve never seen him this way before, his so desperate, it’s like he’s in a world of his own. He keeps telling me he heard liz scream his name, then he starts acting like a mad man.”.
“Put yourself in his position Michael, if I was the one, if I was taken, what would you do?”
“I wouldn’t let anyone take you away from me”
“It’s not as easy as that”
“I know it isn’t but I don’t even want to think about losing you, that won’t happen as long as I’m alive. I’ll find you wherever you are.”
“I better run after him, you girls ask around the neighbourhood maybe they’ve seen them.”
2 MINS LATER
“Hey Max, Look lets check this place out, looks like a hotel.
“Good idea, wait,
“What is it,”
“I can sense her, she’s here”
“Great lets go ask that guy over there”
I see a middle aged, poker faced guy rolling tobacco. I wait for him to approach the counter but he’s taking his time, this is agony, I just know she’s here, Hey, hello?
The guy doesn’t realise how important this is, he completely ignores us.
“ Can you help me please, I’m looking for a girl, she’s about this high with long dark hair, dark eyes, travelling with another guy, about my height, blonde hair.?
Have you seen them today?
“Why? What’s it worth?
“I’ll pay you whatever you want, I know she’s here, what room is she in?
“Pay up or leave”
“Why you” I lose my patience and grab him by the collar, but Michael intervenes and pushes him away from me.
“UHUH, bad idea Max” hang on,
“Ok buddy, here you are, now give us the room number”.
“Room 10, don’t want no trouble, so keep it down.”
I search frantically, there’s a 9 there’s no 10, where the hell is 10?.
“Max, it’s upstairs, there’s another floor,”
I see the door and I know this is it, long before I read the number I blast it open, my eyes must be deceiving me, I see the son of a bitch on a bed on top of her, on top of my Liz. I scream her name it’s all I can do at this time.
Thinking and all logic flies out the window, I take him to the floor with me and I can’t stop my fists from punching him into the ground, I vaguely hear Michael behind me, but the task in hand is more important. I ignore him and everything else. I glance up for a second and see her, it’s awful, brutal, the tears are stinging my eyes, I wish I was blind than to see the vision I’m seeing now. That’s when I realise I have to do this for her. Blood is blinding me, I can’t see straight, I can’t even feel the pain of my knuckles, I’m numb. I’m on a mission and I have to carry this out, he asked for it and now he’s going to get it, he hurt her so bad I know he has to pay for it..
“Jesus, Max, you’re going to kill him”
I feel a commotion I’m so out of it, but I know it’s Max, he’s here but I’m so ashamed of myself, I don’t want him to see me like this. The shame, the embarrassment, I try to cover myself but it’s no use. My hands are still tied. Relief rushes through me when I feel cloth on my skin, I’m covered but nothing can erase what happened to me here, how can I ever forget.
I untie her hands and her mouth as fast as I can. The police are here now and Hansen started asking questions, neither Max or Liz are saying much, Liz is in no condition to do anything and Max is in shock, he’s just stroking her hair and whispering can’t make out what, their in a world of their own. I guess I have to take care of things from here. I leave them alone and go after the gang and Maria, boy do I have news for her. I take a one last look at loser before they take him away, he’s lying on the floor covered in blood, pretty good job Max, did us proud.
“Max, would you like to come down to the sheriff’s office with me, we have to discuss what happened here, look, there’s nothing more you can do. She’s going to be safe now, the hospital will take care of her”
“I wanna go with her”,
“I expect to see you soon though”
All the while I’ve been waiting, watching her, trying to get a response but there’s nothing. She hides her face from me and when I manage to take her in my arms for a brief moment, she pulls away,” It’s me Max” I tell her over and over again, Liz it’s me, I won’t hurt you” the vacant look in her eyes is killing me. I just wish I could turn back the clock, change everything, protected her like I should have . Her whole face is covered in bruises, where the bastard hit her and her legs are in worse condition than her arms, I’m too scared to look anywhere else, the thought of it just makes my blood boil but when I get the chance I want to heal her, if she’ll let me.
Sometime later we arrive at the nearest hospital and a swarm of doctors take Liz away for examination”,
“Can I come too”?
“Who are you sir?”
“I’m her um, we’re engaged”
“Wait here” I’ll ask one of the nurses to get you if we need to”
“What do you mean, if we need to?
“I mean, when there ready”
“Why can’t I come in now?
“You would only be a distraction, the doctors need their space”
“Ok, but I’ll be right here”
“Don’t worry they’ll take good care of her, sorry what was your name?
I’ve been waiting here for over an hour, an hour, what’s taking so long. The waiting is driving me crazy, her parents are here, Maria, Amy and the rest of us. Isabel and Maria started crying as soon as they stepped into the hospital and haven’t stopped since, I watch Michael and Alex try to calm them down then I see Tess in the back ground. She looks like she’s crying too but I can’t help but feel she’s crying for other reasons. She’s never liked Liz. she doesn’t deserve to cry for her.
“Mr Mrs Parker?
“You can see your daughter now. She’s started recovering at the normal pace we expect but this is a special case. I’ll explain. shall we go?
Special case? What do they mean? I look at Michael, What does he mean?
“Max, take it easy, the doctor will explain”
“But, you heard that didn’t you?
“Your being paranoid”
“No, I’m not, but I’ll find out”
“The doctor didn’t say you could go in now”
“I don’t need their permission”
“Max, never mind. Go “
“And tell her we love her”
“I will Maria”
ok, this must be the room, I slowly open the door and enter, Mr and Mrs Parker look up at me. I slowly walk in trying not to make too much noise.
“Is she alright?”
“No Max, she’s not”
“What, what do you mean, what did the doctor say?” my eyes are glued to the sight of Liz lying in the bed.
“Sit down Max I need to ask you something”
“Ask away” in truth I’m scared what she has to say is awful.
“The doctor told us, she was oh god, raped, multiple times, she’s going to take time healing from this,”
My head falls into my hands, no matter how many times I hear the god awful truth I can’t help but feel total destruction.
“And also, Liz is pregnant”
“WHAT!” I raise my head.
“The doctor said she seems to be pregnant for a couple of weeks, she may not have known herself”
“How, I mean, why? Mr and Mrs Parker I swear I didn’t know, I had no idea”
“I need to know everything Max, I need to find out who did this to my girl”
My head is spinning from the recent revelation, shock, hurt, pain, anger, denial. But most of all utter confusion
“It’s not mine, I wish it was, I really do, but it’s impossible.”
“We were afraid of that, thank you for being honest with us”.
“Can I see her now,”
|posted on 2-Sep-2001 7:54:45 PM|
“Liz, it’s Max, can you look at me please?
I hear him, but no, I dare not look at him. I have no right to look at him.
“Liz, I’m going to just sit here with you, if you don’t mind, k?, I want to say a few things to you, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to”
He’s being so nice to me. I don’t deserve this. It’s eating me up inside, I want him to hold me, I want him to tell me it’s ok, that he’ll stay with me even if I’m this dirty and used, but I’m afraid.
“I want you to know that this doesn’t change anything, I still love you. I still want to marry you and I’ll be here for you whenever you need me. Nothing will change that.”
She called my name for the first time, I think I finally got through. I stand up and sit on the bed. Waiting for her. I take her hand and look into her eyes.
“Do you really mean it? you still love me?
“Of course I do, why would I lie to you”
She starts to cry. I quickly take her in my arms. I hate seeing her this way.
“Liz, don’t cry, please,”
“I can’t help it, you’re so kind to me, I don’t deserve you”
“No, don’t say that, look I want to help you, Is there anything I can heal, are you still in pain, because I could take it away for you, if you want?”
“No, you’ll see things”
“I don’t care”
“You say that now, but when it happens you’ll change your mind, you’ll start to hate me”
“That’s nonsense, you know it is, just tell me what I can do”
“Nothing Max, you don’t need to do anything”
“Can I be certain, will you let me try “
“I don’t think it’s a good idea, the doctors will find out, theres really nothing for you to heal”
“I just want to see”
“You won’t like it”
“I know, but I have to see what really happened”
“Will you hold me again”
She nods her head, I take a deep breath and place my hands on each side of her face, and the flashes start to appear in front of me, I close my eyes, she was right, this is, no it’s too devastating, I see everything.
His face is a mixture of emotions, I know he’s trying to be strong but it won’t work. He begins to clench his jaw, then he starts to swear, things I’ve never heard him say before. I knew this was a mistake, no he can’t see all of it. I grab his hands to take them off. he tries to resist.
“Please Max, let go. You’ve seen enough”
His heavy breathing and the anguish on his face are clearly a sign that he’s disgusted with me. This is worse than he expected. I’ve resigned to the fact that things will never be the same between us. I turn on my side and lie back down in the bed, waiting for him to go away, for the door to slam shut. I keep waiting, but I haven’t heard the door yet, he’s taking his time.
“Don’t turn away from me”
I’m surprised he’s here still. Maybe I shouldn’t put my hopes up, but I’m relieved.
“Liz, look at me”
And I do, I look at him, and I see everything I didn’t expect tosee. He still wants me. He accepts me.
“Max, your insane, you should have left by now”
“I told you I’m not leaving you and I meant it”
hugging isn’t really the proper word for what we’re doing right now, it’s more like holding on for dear life, I’m holding on to him because I need to, and he’s holding on to me because he has to. We’re both hurting and this is a start. we just need eachother.
Amy and Maria exhausted from their visit to Liz return home.
“I still can’t believe it, to think that he stayed in my house for so long and I didn’t have a clue what the real Sean Deluca was like. He slept on my couch, he ate my food, I washed his clothes for him. In fact I did everything for him and this is what he pays us with. I’m so ashamed of myself for carrying the same name as him.”.
“Mom it’s not your fault, he is what he is, a low life, scum . I should have known the way he was talking about her, the way he kept following her everywhere, but I thought he was just being a friend,”
“What are you talking about Maria”
“I haven’t told anyone this, but remember when Liz had the accident”
“Sean was with Liz that night in the park, he was stalking her”
“He said that I asked him to go after her, but I didn’t, you see he lied about it to make himself look good”
“Oh my, he doesn’t deserve to live for what he did.
“I wish I had said something to Liz before she got serious with him, before all this mess, I’m just as guilty as Sean”
“ Maria, sweetheart you’re not to blame.“
“Mom, at the time I didn’t think nothing of it, I should have warned Liz to be careful with him”
“But you didn’t know what was going to happen, how could you have any idea Sean was a lieing, manipulative little bastard. You’re not to blame for his actions “
“Neither are you”
“Come on, let’s go bed”
“Mom, I’m so exhausted, but I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight”
“Neither do I, this is just terrible. I keep thinking what if this had happened to you instead of Liz, I don’t know what I would have done”
Mom, let’s just try and put this behind us for tonight, okay”
“We’ll talk more in the morning”
“Okay, I’ve got coffee and, oh another coffee, with or without milk?”
“um, is that you Michael”?
“ Rise and shine your highness, you know what time it is? The nurses told me you stayed here last night, they also told me to wake you up. Liz has to have some tests done on her so they want you to leave.”
“Thanks for the coffee Michael”
“Your welcome, Liz, how are you, Oh stupid question “?
“No, no, it’s ok, I’m fine”
“Good, that’s great”
Great going asshole, what was I thinking, asking her a question like that. I feel awkward standing here, I should be leaving.
“Wait, tests, what tests?”
“I dunno, they said it was important”
“Thanks Michael, I’ll come with you, can you wait for me outside?”
“sure, see ya Liz”
“Liz, I’m sorry I totally forgot, last night I meaned to tell you something”
“What is it Max?”
“I don’t know how to tell you this, I don’t know if you heard your parents talking to me last night, it’s about your condition”
I take her hands in mine and wait for her approval, this is so hard for me. I honestly don’t know how she’ll react scratch that, I do know, and I don’t want that.. I just don’t want her close up on me again just when I thought we were making progress. .
What he doesn’t know is, I already found out last night. They thought I was sleeping but I wasn’t. My first reaction was devastation because I knew it couldn’t be Max’s it was impossible, then the realisation set in that it could be, I can’t even say his name. I thought about it some more, it just couldn’t be his, it had to be Max’s. We didn’t wear any protection, whereas with him he did, it’s impossible for me to be 2 week’s pregnant even if it was , but it isn’t , this must be an alien thing. I smile and I realise he must think I’ve totally lost it. I’m in a world of my own. He snaps me back to reality..
“What do you know”
“ I’m pregnant with your child”
Those words that she just said, I’m dumbstruck, I don’t , I can’t believe it“
“Max, you have to get me out of here and now, before they do the tests”
“Are you sure? I mean, is it really mine?
“It can’t be his because it happened about a week ago, impossible for a 2 week pregnancy and he wore protection, I’m sorry Max you asked and I told you”
“Liz, I need to soak this all in, so what you’re saying is that it’s 2 week’s along because it’s an alien thing?
“I have to kiss you and now”,
“Max please let’s go home”
“ok, we need to act fast, I may need Michael’s help.
What’s going on Max”
“Look, Liz is, she’s pregnant and it’s mine, that ‘s why we can’t let the doctors run tests on her”
Michael we need to get Liz out of here!”
I mean when?”
“We’ll talk later Michael”
“Well were you going to tell me about this Maxwell?
“I only found out myself”
“Well you’ve been busy haven’t you?
“It’s none of your business Michael, now are you going to help us or not?
“What do you want to do?”
“How about that window It’s not large enough, but we can fix that, any other ideas?
“No we can’t do that Michael, they’ll see the damage not to mention the noise, we have to do this another way, Liz, we may need Tess”
The way he said her name to me, I just don’t know, maybe I’m totally wrong but I don’t think she’ll want to help me especially when she finds out why. I have a bad feeling about this, I’ve never trusted Tess but right now we don’t have a choice.
“Now Liz, I have to be sure, do you really want this, It’s going to be risky we could get caught”
“Liz, are you listening to me, we have to get Tess to help, it’s the easiest way out of this”
“Liz, look at me, I’m serious, If we don’t leave soon then they’ll surely find out and I can’t let them Liz, you and the baby mean everything to me. I can’t no I won’t let anyone take you again.”
“Let’s do it then”
“Ok, Michael we need to call tess now, just tell her to get over here as soon as possible, and don’t tell her anything about.”
“I won’t, don’t worry I won’t tell her, well I’ll go make that call”
Max, what’s going to happen, will she help us?
“Don’t worry about it Liz, I know Tess, she won’t refuse me.”
A feeling of dread passed through me when he said that, it’s just something that I can’t come to terms with. And it’s the way he said it, that bothered me. .
“oh, nothing, I just realised I don’t have any clothes to wear”
10 mins later.
My eye is on the door ever since that nurse came in here, she said it was routine but I have my doubts, now there’s 2 nurses walking by the room and any minute now I know we’re in trouble.
He hasn’t let go of my hand since Michael left, I don’t mind really, I feel safe when Max is around me and somehow I think the baby knows it too.
I hear the door suddenly swing, finally Tess comes in followed by Michael, although she has that look on her face, the look she especially reserves for Max. I’ve seen it many times before, but right now for some reason it’s making me feel nauseous. The grip that I have on Max’s hand tightens when Tess begins to speak.
“ What did you want Max? Liz?”
“I want you to help us get Liz out of here”
“Huh, why? I mean, doesn’t she need to be in hospital”?
“Tess, it’s complicated, they’re going to do test’s on her and we can’t take the chance, we need to get her out now before the doctor’s find something odd with her blood”
“Oh, so this has something to do with when you healed her, but Max, wouldn’t the doctor’s have taken her blood by now, I mean, she’s been here for over 24 hours”
Why is she asking so many damn question’s. She doesn’t believe us, but I still have to try.
.”Well me and Michael took care of that, but we can’t keep on doing it, will you help us Tess”?
Max let’s go of my hand and makes his way over to her, “Tess this is important we need to act now”
“Ok, Let’s do it, all you guy’s have to do is walk out of here”
“Thank you Tess”
“Your welcome Max, you know I’d do anything for you”
.”OK, let’s go”
“Wait Michael, there’s something else, Doctors are going to ask question’s about her, “Max, that’s no problem. I’ll just implant a memory, she’s been here, recovered and left to go home, is that fine?”
“Great, ok, we can go now”
I think we made it. I’m safe now. Tess did her mindwarp and it looks like were successful.
Max carried me all the way from my bed to the jeep. He kept complaining that I weighed next to nothing and that he’d have to do something about that, now that I’m with child. I felt so safe in his arms. I never want to leave but I realise Tess is watching me, us, I don’t want to make her uncomfortable or sorry for helping so we say our farewells and take off in separate cars..
I sit in the front of the Jeep and feel the breeze on my face, my hair is flying everywhere but I couldn’t care less, it’s times like these that I realise life is precious. Especially this little life that is growing in me.
Some time later Max slows the Jeep down, we’ve arrived at the crashdown and I realise I’m going to be lonely again, sure I’ll have my mon and dad fussing over me but it’s Max that I feel safe with, I yearn to be with. Then there’s Maria, my best friend my sister, I haven’t spoken to her since the hospital and that really doesn’t count because Amy was doing all the talking while Maria was crying.
If I saw Maria right now, I honestly don’t know what I would say to her.
My thoughts are interrupted when I notice Max getting out of the jeep, he makes his way over to my side and opens the door for me.
“Liz, we’re here, “
“Yes, we are”
“Are you having second thoughts? I mean, if you want I could take you somewhere else, it’s just that, I thought you’d be more comfortable in your own room”
“I think ’ll be fine, I just need to get used to this, “
“I don’t understand,”
“I’m just tired, take me in Max”
“your wish is my command”
He scoops me up and before I know it we’re in my room, My mom and Dad are asking so many questions, I don’t have the energy to deal with them right now but I know I have to. I tell them I wanted to come home, wanted to be near my friends and that I feel more comfortable in my own bed. They seemed to understand and for this I’m grateful. Max is still here sitting next to my bed, I realise I’m being selfish wanting him with me all the time, maybe I should tell him to go.
“Thankyou for everything Max”
“You don’t have to thank me for anything Liz, all I want is for you to be safe, that’s why I’m staying here with you until your parents get sick of me and throw me out, I’ll be here whenever you need me.”
“You can’t be here all the time. Max, you should go home, I’m safe here.
“I don’t want to leave you”
“You have a home and parents that are probably wondering where you are”
“I’ll ring them they’ll understand”
“Max, this is ridiculous”
“Oh now I get it. You’re trying to get rid of me, well it won’t work I made that mistake before and I’m not making it again.”
“Max, please, don’t “
I just realise what an idiot I’ve been, I’m making her remember, I don’t know what possessed me to say that, she’s tearing up in front of me and I hate it, I just hate it. There’s nothing more I can do than to hold her right now, if she let’s me but I wish I could do so much more, I wish I can make her forget..
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, will you forgive me”
“It’s not your fault, it’s mine”
“You’re wrong and you know it”
“No, I should never have gone with, it wouldn’t have happened”
“Liz, forget about it, let’s look to the future, to our future”
“May be your right, but I just can’t help it,
“shh, I know, this will go away with time”
“Are you sure because I don’t want to remember ever”
“ I don’t want that either, there’s alwaysus“
“and theres the little one,”
Her eyes are a mixture of emotions but I see a spark of hope. Gently placing my hand on her stomach I try to make a connection. Hoping and praying I get through, At first I hear a slight hum then it get’s louder till suddenly I’m overwhelmed, I can’t describe it but I sense him, there’s no doubt in my mind. It’s my son.
“Liz, I felt him”
“Max, why are you crying? You should be happy”?
“Liz I am, I’m so proud of you, thankyou for giving me a son. Now there’s no way I’m leaving you alone ever”
We lay here together in her bed. I know if her parents were to walk in right now they’d probably throw me out. Just to have her next to me, to be holding her keeping her warm is all I could ever wish for right now and my wish has come true.
I still can’t shake that feeling of euphoria, the thought of having a son with Liz is a dream come true for me. I never thought it was possible. I have to find out more about this for Liz’s sake, I ‘ve got to be sure everything will be alright, we don’t know anything about an alien/human pregnancy and the thought Liz having complications is beginning to worry me.
I try not to wake her up as I get out of the bed and make my way downstairs to find Mrs Parker. Some things need to be talked about and I don’t want Liz to get upset. Her parents don’t know I’m the father. I’m hoping when I tell them, they’ll understand.
No sign of the parker’s but the Crashdown is pretty busy this morning. I spot a familiar face in the Sheriff and make my way over to him.
“Max, call me Jim,
“Oh, yeah, I forgot, sorry”
“No problem, well what are you doing here so early this morning”
“I’m here for Liz, the Parker’s let me stay”
“That’s great, I’m glad, how is she?
“It’s hard to tell, sometimes she’s fine but other times when she remembers, it’s hard I suppose it’s going to take time”
“I suppose it is, it’s pretty hard, I’m sorry Max”
“Sorry for what”
“I should have kept my eye on that piece of scum from the beginning he set foot in Amy’s house, should have had tabs on him day and night”
“It’s not your fault, sheriff”
“still can’t help the way I feel.Well, I gotta get going”
“Jim, has he, is he?
“Don’t worry about him, he won’t be setting foot out side of his cell anytime soon.”
“Thank you, but, it’s not enough, if I told you I wish he was dead”
“I understand, but let it go Max, hate can do bad things to a man”
“Give my regards to Liz”
I get up to leave I think I’ve left Liz on her own for too long.
“Good morning Max”
“Um Morning Mrs Parker, I need to talk to you about Liz”
“I just checked up on her, she’s sound asleep, thank goodness you stayed with her last night and I want you to know your welcome here for as long as it takes.”
“What was it you wanted to say?”
“Can we talk in private, this is about Liz”
Parker’s living room.
“ok, what is it Max, does she want to see a doctor, is it about
“No, it’s nothing like that, you don’t have to worry”
“Well I’m listening”
“This is hard for me, but I have to let you know and Mr Parker too, remember when you asked me about being the father”
“Listen Max, me and my husband have been discussing this, you don’t have to worry about taking responsibility or anything like that, I know it’s too early yet, but we feel it’s best for Liz, she’s so young and her whole life in front of her.
“So we felt it best for Liz to have an abortion. It’s the only way”
“IT’S MY BABY”
“What did you say”?
“Mrs Parker it’s mine and Liz’s baby and I won’t allow an abortion, Liz and I both want our child.”
There I said it, she ‘s shocked and I’m not surprised, I didn’t mean to shout at her, but the mention of abortion and I go insane. I’m hoping she takes this well, she has to, at least now she knows the truth. I hope she agree’s with me and let’s us keep our son. It’s not going to be easy, nothing ever is for us, but I know that if things don’t go too well here, I’ll have to take things into my own hands and I’m taking Liz with me.
“What do you mean it’s yours? You told us it wasn’t. I don’t understand, how? what made you change your mind, did Liz tell you this?”
“I know this is a shock, Nancy, but it really is mine, you see, at the time in the hospital I was too consumed with everything, I just didn’t give it enough thought, it’s my fault.
“How can you give it enough thought, either it’s your’s or it isn’t, I mean, I know my daughter and she isn’t the type to sleep around”
“No, I know Liz, she isn’t like that but I swear it’s mine, it’s the truth, please believe me”
“I don’t know, what does Liz say about all of this”
“She agrees with me, and we want to keep our child”
“It’s not as easy as that Max”
“What do you mean?
“We have to talk about this some more, her father needs to know, we need to decide what happens next”
“I’m sorry, I don’t want to be rude, but, me and Liz are both 18, I think we’re old enough to make our own decisions”
“So what are you saying?
“We want to keep it, we don’t wan’t an abortion and if you and Mr Parker decide with abortion, than you give us no alternative”
“Are you threatening me, Max?
“No it’s just a fact, me and Liz will do anything to keep the baby, even if it means leaving Roswell and starting up somewhere else”
“I don’t like threats Max, especially ones like that, Liz is my only daughter and I won’t loose her to you. I will do what ever I can to make sure my daughter stays here in Roswell, she needs to thinks of herself and her future. What kind of future will you give her Max?
“I’ll give her everything, I’ll protect her, love her, we’ll be a family of our own.
“That isn’t enough Max”
“ Mrs Parker why are you being this way, I love your daughter and I’ll do just about anything for her, give us a chance”
“It’s not that easy, look, I ‘m going to talk to her father about this and when I get back you better be here”
“I’ll be here”.
Looking around this place I ‘m thinking leaving isn’t such a bad idea afterall, but I have to weigh up my options, how will my parents react how will Michael or Isabel take this news, they’ll probably freak out on me, but that’ s not what I’m worried about right now. Liz’s parents could make this really hard for us, they could forbid me to see Liz or take her away, I can’t let them do that. I understand Mrs Parker but somehow I don’t feel she understands me or Liz. What she see’s is an eighteen year old kid and nothing else, she’s never liked me, she’s never trusted me. I’ve got to get through this for Liz’s sake. I just want the best for her.
I woke up but Max isn’t next to me, he told me he wouldn’t leave. I feel so alone. The only thing that springs to my mind is he changed his mind, maybe this is too much for him, maybe this is too soon, he’s not ready for fatherhood. All I know is I need Max right now, like I need air to breath, without him I’ll suffocate. I’m worrying my self silly for all I know he went home to see his parents. I call his name but there’s silence. I’ve got to find him.
I quickly try to get dressed but it’s getting difficult, I notice my stomach is protruding much more today than yesterday, is this how it’s supposed to be, I’m going to be so huge. I throw my jeans to the ground it’s no use, no way will I get into those. What on earth should I wear? I grab a jean dress and slowly squeeze into it, but it looks so odd, the buttons around my stomach are a torture to do up. Not to mention my chest, my breasts are getting too big for my bra, mental note to self to buy new underwear. god, this is a nightmare, how can I get so huge overnight . Max is going to laugh at me when he see’s me and everyone will be asking me questions.
I slowly approach him from behind, he’s standing there with his back to me. He must be in deep thought because his head is hung low. I call his name in my mind.
I sense her, I hear her call my name I know she’s nearby. I quickly turn and find myself face to face with her. I’m amazed with what I see, she’s changing right before me. My eyes wander to her abdomen, the bulge that holds our future. I take her hand and slowly lead her to the back.
“Liz, you look so, so
“Um, you look beautiful “
“Max, what is happening to me, I feel so different, the changes in my body there happening so quickly”
“I know, but don’t be afraid, I’m going to find out all about this”
“I was thinking Larek”
“Max, are you sure that’s a good idea, isn’t there anyone else”
“I know he may not like it,, but we really don’t have a choice”
“Can I come with you”?
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, he may say some things that may upset you,”
“Max you’re scaring me, “
“Liz, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you, the reason I said that is because Larek isn’t known to be the friendliest of guys , he may react in a harsh way towards this news.”
“I understand, but I still want to come with you”
“ok, but before that, I have something to tell you, ”
“What is it”
“Come and sit down over here”
“Okay, I’m sitting, now tell me”
“I spoke to your mom today about the baby, I told her that it’s ours and we want to keep it”
“Max what a re you saying, of course we ‘re keeping him “
“I know, but your mom thinks it’s best that”
“abortion, she wants me to have an abortion”
“I told her we’re not having an abortion or anything like that, she didn’t like it but I told her”
“Is that all she said”?
“well, she said that she was going to tell your dad about it, that I should be here for when they get back, also I guess things got kinda heated and I told her if they didnn’t leave us alone I’d take you and leave”
“Are we leaving Roswell”
“Do you want to”?
“Max wherever you go, I go”
He sit’s beside me holding my hand in his, surely he must know by now what he means to me, of course I’ll go with him. He has tears in his eyes when he looks at me I sense his joy..
“Liz I’m so gald you said that, we may not have a choice in the matter”
“I know, look Max, I’m growing so fast, it’s so noticeable.”
“I think the best thing to do is go see larek then we’ll decide after that, but first , you have to eat, let’s go eat something before we go”
I ‘m so anxious but yet at the same time a little scared about what Larek will say. I desperately hope he isn’t angry with us. As I hold on to Max’s hand I realise I’m shaking, then I see the object of my fear from afar and realise this might have been a mistake, I should never have come. I look to Max to say something, he seems just as apprehensive as I am.
“Max, what do we do? I mean, how do you communicate with Larek, “
“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it, he usually responds to his name”
“Are you sure”
“Well it worked last time, now don’t be frightened, he won’t harm you”
We slowly walk towards him getting closer and closer but Brody hasn’t even noticed our presence . I call his name“Larek ,”Larek , it’s Zan”
I see the change in his posture. .
“Zan, I’ve been waiting for you”
“Why do you say that, do you have something to tell me Larek”
“I know why you’re here, I sense him, am I right or wrong”?
“you’re right, but how did you”
“I could sense another hybrid being anywhere, it’s a given for us, I could explain it but it might take up a lot of time and you know his body is weak””
“I understand. Larek I need to know all about this, how an alien/human pregnancy works, what should Liz and I expect, are there any specifics we should know about”
“First of all this is a hybrid/human pregnancy, the child will be a hybrid just like you Zan and it will carry many of your traits, such as your gifts and intelligence, it will have a human body but with alien essence. After 5 human month’s the child will be born.
“5 month’s, will it be normal human birth”?
“yes and no”
“What do you mean”
“A human carrying a hybrid child will weaken in strengh because the child will drain all of your energy, Zan will need give energy himself to the child daily to make sure the child does not harm it’s mother”
“How do I do that”
“By placing your hand on the womb your energy will be transferred by the child .I am surprised you do not know of this already, You need to start feeding your energy as soon as possible, it is also important that you give birth in the chamber”
“Because that is where they will expect you to be when the time comes”
“Who,what do you mean”
“ It is a custom, more like a ceremony”
“What will happen to us to my son”
“Do not fear, your son will be safe”
“Max, Max I don’t like this, what is he talking about, I won’t let them take him away from us”
“I won’t allow that either, Larek I won’t allow anyone to harm my son”
“You have no choice, they will come perform the ceremony then leave immediately, do not fear”
“So they won’t take my son with them”
“No, he will remain here on earth, you will need to protect him from the enemy.
My time here is limited., I must go”
“I understand, thank you Larek”
“Liz are you alright,”
“wow, I feel exhausted. Max, take me home, I don’t feel too well.
“What’s wrong, are you sick”
“I feel faint, I feel really tired.
“Come on let’s get out of here before Brody starts to question us”
At the back of the Crashdown.
“Liz open your eyes, I need to know you’re alright”
Damn ! Hasn’t she been through enough! She’s been unconscious for too long, if only I had found out about this earlier, how could I have been so careless. She has a pulse but barely. I have no choice I have to give her my energy. I gingerly place my hand on her womb and wait as patiently as I can. I feel a tingling in my fingers , a bright blue light is emanating all around her stomach, this must be working, yes, my son is fine. Now for my wife.
My eyes flutter open and the first thing I see is Max’s angelic face and his enigmatic eyes looking into mine, he looks so worried and I’m the cause of it..
“Max, what’s wrong,”
“Thank god you’re alright, how are you feeling?”
“Well I think I’ll be ok in a few seconds, when you let me get up”
“Oh, sorry, here let me help you”
“Max what just happened here”
“I had to help the baby, he was wearing you out, you was unconscious for such a long time. I was afraid you’d never wake up”
“Max I’m fine, thankyou”
“I only did what I needed to do, why don’t you lie down for a little or if you want we can go get something to eat before the gang come round”
“why are they coming round”
“They don’t know about us, about the baby, well apart from Michael. And I don’t want them to hear from someone else. I thought the sooner they knew the better it would be for us.
“Well I suppose they’ll see for themselves soon enough, I feel like an elephant”
“I think you look cute”
“yeah, cute and fat”
“Nonsense, you’re not fat, you can never be fat”
“In that case I think I’ll eat something. Actually I’m starving”
“ I can get Michael to cook you whatever you want, just tell me what it is”
“I feel like , um, I have a strange craving for strawberries.”
“Is that all”
“Nope, strawberries with lots of pancakes and sauce”
5 mins later.
“ok, what time did you say they were coming Max”
“They should be here any minute, Liz are you sure you Want to eat this”
“Why, what’s wrong with it, wasn’t you the one who said I could eat what ever I wanted”
“I don’t know of anybody that has tobasco sauce on strawberries”
“Tastes really good for some reason, you should try it, here”
“No, no thanks, I’m fine, besides I’ve already eaten”
“Max when you said the gang, does that include Tess, is she coming”
“Yes, I thought about it a lot, I think it’s best that she be included”
“Are you sure, what if “
“I’ll deal with it if it comes to that, she has to realise sooner or later that her and I will never be, I don’t love her like I love you Liz, you have nothing to worry about. Besides this is something that Tess has to deal with if she likes it or not”
“I still don’t trust her Max”
“Well we’ll discuss this later, looks like there here”
Isabel, Kyle, Maria and Tess all enter the crashdown. Maria is extra cautious because of her doubt of liz’s friendship after the terrible ordeal Liz went through at the hands of Sean. She approaches Liz’s table slowly, all the while stealing glances in Liz’s direction.
“How are you, I missed you”
“Oh god, Maria I missed you too, come here” [hug]
“I’m so gald you’re still talking to me chica, I’m so sorry, really sorry”
“Maria, I want you to know I never thought ill of you, you’re still my sister, always will be, come sit next to me”
The tall blonde girl approaches “Liz, for what it’s worth I know you and I never had a good friendship but I really want you to know that I do care for you and I think it’s great that you and my brother are finally together”
“Thank you Isabel, I’ll always be your friend”
“Hey Liz, looking well”
“Hey Kyle, thanks”
“Ok, Max, so what’s this all about”?
“ Tess, hold on, we need Michael”
“No probs I’m here”
“well I called you all here today, because Liz and I consider you all as family in one way or another, there’s some news we want to share with all of you.”
“Actually Max, I think I know what it is”
“Isabel, did Michael tell you”
“erm, no, I can see for myself, I’m assuming Liz is”
“I’ll second that, actually I was gonna say something earlier on,”
“Kyle, shut up”
“Maria, will you let someone else speak for a change”
“Guy’s, it’s ok, you’re right, I’m pregnant”
“oh my god, this can’t be happening, I’m so sorry Liz,”
“What are you talking about Tess”
“Surely your not the father of her child Max, remember she was with Sean”
“ You’re wrong Tess, I am the father”