posted on 6-Dec-2001 7:56:15 PM
Liz Parker No More PMS (Putting up with Max's Sh**)
Lopaka Tanu
Rated: R VL NC-17 for chapter 6
Summery: Liz snaps After Departure.
Author's note: UC relationships Mi/L
Disclaimer: Roswell belongs to the Queen Mother of writers Melinda Metz, Jason Katims, and The best network UPN. (You bet I kiss butt, saves on the Law suites)

I stand alone waiting for the dust to settle. That bitch did it to me yet again. I mean here we are criing because they were going to go home and leave us. What am I supposed to care that she ruined there plans to go home. I only came for one reason, to kill her. I lost Alex, my future, Max, and my sanity. Now that she is gone I will never get the peace of standing over her grave and the grim satisfaction that I was the one thing she could not destroy. So I stand here with them. Oh joy they are finally coming out of it.

If he looks at me and starts to say anything I will floor him. Here it comes, those amber eyes filled with tears. Open your lips and prepare to eat dust buddy. He tries to look at my eyes only not quite able to reach them. 'Come on say it, I dare ya'. Whoa get a grip. This is not you Liz. Take a breather. Count to Three hundred One, Two, Three....

"Liz, what do you think you were doing in ther...," Max never finished the sentence.

I told Ya, don't say anything. You never listen, no it's always Mr King Max does and says what he wants. Well not this time. Liz is not here for your or any other man's amusement any more. I turn around and start walking towards the car. Oh no here come the flies.

A shrill voice starts yelling my name and what the hell I did that for. I stop. I do not turn around. In a low steady voice explain to them why. "I am never going to forgive you Max. You slept with her. That thing. Then you have the Gaul to ask why I was there. I was there to rip out her hair for starters."

"Liz, I could not let you harm her. She is carriing my child..." Strike Two bucko. One more and you will be down for the count. "Another thing is she was one of us, you pushed me towards her. What was I to do? You made it pretty clear you wanted..." Strike three. I turn around and this time hit him in the nuts.

Maria is pulling me off him as I start to hit him in the face. Turn, Slap, one fly out of the way. Aquire target, target locked, kill kill kill. Must smite the sinner. I lunge for Max this time and land on his chest. With him underneath me I continue to slap his face.

"What I wanted," I scream hysterically. "What I wanted was to live in peace. I wanted to date you and live happily ever after. But no you got to come back from the future and tell me to make you stop loving me. Then you sleep with that Murderous whore. What I want had nothing to do with your hormones. You couldn't get it with me so you went to get it with her."

O'kay so I'm a little mad. I had reason to be. By the time I finish the last sentence Kyle and Isabel have pried me off him. I get a grip, then I shake free. Dead Fly number one is helping him up. I smile a very unpleasant smile as I see his bloody face. Yep, I feel better.

I look around to take in the scene. Max, Fly one, Isabel, and Kyle are all huddled together triing to deal with the bad news and the Full assalt by me. I notice one fly missing. Then I see him, about that time he sees me. He was laughing so hard he almost missed my gaze.

Fly number Five. Yes must not let any one leave with out expierincing my touch. I start to walk over smirking on my way. He looks like a deer caught in head-lights. He is no longer laughing, infact he has gone very still. You know he looks kinda cute that way. I pull back my hand and do the only thing I want to do. I grab him, really tight. His eyes bugg out and his breath becomes a strained screech. He bends forward enough for me to get at what I want.

One long drawn out kiss. No stars, no flashes of a childhood, only bright bursts of light. Yes Virgina there is a Santa Clause. My grandma what a big... you have. It takes a minute for me to realize my grip has gotten tighter. I hear some more wailing in the back ground. That does it. Fly number one just doesn't get it. Turn, draw back and release.

Maria does a fire safety manuver. Stop, Drop, and Roll. Finally peace at last. My work is done so I must bid you adiu. I start to walk towards the High way. With one last look of future promises to the group I am gone. Max: more pain. Isabel: a shoulder to cry on. Kyle: a half sad half I AM FINALLY FREE smile. Maria: Thats for all the bitching moaning groaning and not being there for me. Finally Michael: I want a ride and I do not mean on your bike.


So what ya think should I continue or scrap it. Feed back is all I want. Flames sent to my e-mail jlrjroon⊕

Part 2

Hi, I'm Liz, and I am a recovering spoucoholic. I used to dream every night about the same guy. We would get married and have a dozen kids. Okay now back to reality. I am Liz, no longer Little Lizzie Parker. Thats right I have done it. I am a Man now. Just kidding. Okay run down of events since my last thought.

I ended up hitch hiking back to civilization. No aliens did not abduct me for brain washing. Though there is one alien I would not mind being probed by. Mmm Micheal. Okay drooling sequence over.

Lets start with motor-mouth, I mean Maria. Come on she talks way to much. I mean get a clue, shut up already. Have you heard of the saying you draw more flies with honey than vineger. Well I have taken that to heart. Fly One is gone. She left soon after the whole scene with Michael. He ended up walking back to town. No worries I comforted him Later. The next day at work she called me a Slut. Right in front of god and every body. God being my dad. She is out looking for a new job. I have not heard a word from her or that Loser cousin of hers since, no big loss.

Next is Kyle and Isabel, thats right they comforted each other a little too much. Since then I swear they switched bodies. If Isabel was a rapper they would call her Easy Iz. She is out bragging to all her friend that she landed on Kyle and claimed him in the name of Antar. She thinks she discovered a new world when only got Land Ho. Kyle has become the Girlfriend I never wanted. He tells me every detail, (incert shudder here). We are doing almost everything together now. I actually got to drive his car once. I will tell more on that and why later. I kinda feel sorry for Iz though, I mean Kyle has a nice Body but Michael is way bigger. Yes you gutter rats I am talking in that area.

Next is Maxine, well would be if Kyle had not taken the wheel from me. You see he was walking down the street in front of the UFO center carring a large alien for brody. The way he was carring it was just to tempting. You see the alien had one leg bent forward balancing it self out like it was marching. Max decided it was easier if he Carried the one leg between his and waddle to the front. I floored the car and was gone screech the brakes inches from Max, you know to shell shock him. What ended up happening was Kyle grabbed the wheel just before we got to max and causewd us to swerve away. It had some what of a desired effect. Max jumped and Landed on the alien in a very simaler posistion he had the Harlote. I coulnd not miss a second parting shot. "Hey look Kyle he is at it again. Only this time it's a guy. Better warn Michael he is in danger of becoming the kings next queen." Yeah Yeah Yeah, I let him off easy, but Kyle was in the car I can't have any witnesses if I really was going to hurt him. Oh well better luck next time.

Now for the dream Sequence: Michael Laying on a bed with only his shirt and boxers. He rubs him self continuously all over. Then off comes the shirt very slowly. I see his stomach muscle by Muscle. Then those pecks, his every muscle rippling as he removes the shirt. Then his face is revealed. He turns toward the window to throw the shirt and freezes. Da** he caught me. While running I barely escape because I am laughing so hard. I mean the look on his face when he realized he was not alone. His first reaction was to cover himself, then to see who was watching. And I thought I was a prude. I have seen this happen every night for two weeks. I know this is illeagle, but I wont tell if you don't tell. Just call me Lizchac: the Night Stalker. Hey I figure seems how Fly One left him it's open season on all Michaels. Be verwy verwy qwiet I'm hunting alwiens. Or is he Marvin the Martian. Well thats one Space Modulator I would not mind playing with.

Okay so it's been three weeks since I snapped. My parents heard about the Max Inccident, and I got grounded for three weeks. Gee I wonder which whiney Little baby (alien) told them. Oh well in two weeks I get to go back and observe some of mother natures most beautiful creations. Micheal and his bed.

Next Chapter: Live fire diminstrations, Max (VEG), and a lot of alien gropeing.


Part 3

So here I sit doing Micheal. Yeah that looks good. That stuff is squishy and warm. I thing melted wax is very sexy. There I am finished. I get up to admire my handy work, looks just like him. My Michael candle is going to never be burned. One of the side effects of being grounded over the summer is having a lot of free time. So I make erotic Michael Candles. I had a bunch of Max but you can only burn them so many times before the wax is no good.

I look at the clock time to go slop the hogs and milk the cows. Let see what to wear underneath my uniform. Michael works today so I think a little surprise is in order. Okay got the oh too short thing on lets go down stairs.

Agness and the Klutz are on so I have to work dubble time. Note to self remember to thank dad properly later for this one. I head to the front glancing at the kitchen. There is the only silver liniing to this cloud, reaching up for something to high. Just a little more, yes yes yes, god yes reach for it baby. Now that is something to make my day seeing his too tight pants and waist. Thank you Michael, you never disappoint. Now to get his attention. Walk up slowly and grab something next to him and stumble. On three he catches he, yes I was right his arms are heaven. He dusts me and him off.
Oh My God, did he just cop-a- feel. Lear at him suggestively and walk out. Sway hips for good measure. Yeah he wants me.

Once in the dining room I feel his gaze on me. He is burning holes in me. Well lets see how you react to this. Oops dropped my pen. Bend over to pick it up. The dropping pan lets me know he saw my surprise. Oh shit the clearing of the throat lets me know my Dad just walked in behind me and noticed the thong too.

I stand up strait like and arrow. I hear Micheal laughing in the kitchen. Okay buster you want to play so can I. I turn back towards the pick up window. When I am sure he is watching I back of my skirt inch by inch. All the while my dad is ragging on. I finally have the skirt hi enough to feel an extream draft, enough for Michael to stop laughing. I smile, this only serves to make my dad to start yelling. I start to inch up a little more then I stop when I hear several large explosions in the kitchen.

I run to find Michael covered in condements and hamburger. Apparently my little display effected him more than I thought. Well Michael if you can't take the heat stay out of the kitchen. I start Laughing so hard I fall on my butt, but not on the floor. I stop laughing to discover I have landed on the men in blackberry pie. He is now laughing at me. No One laughs at me and lives. I remove the piepan from my bottem and hit him with it in the happy place. I remove the pan to grab a piece and some of the pie. When I pull back my hand I put to my lips and lick. Look mommy Mikey likes it he really likes it.

A hour and a bath later I am back in the Cafe. Michael has gone home for the day and left me here to work a double shift thanks to my little surprise. Oh well, at least I don't have to deal with Maria, Speak of the devil and he will answer you. I avoid her at all cost, not because I am afraid of her only because she stinks like a whore in that purfume. Must have a hot date, wonder who the hell she bashed on the head to get a date.

Oh look, here comes Mr Wonderful. He is sitting down with her. They look at me and talk. Oh joy more plans from the Queen of Lunatics and King of screw-ups. I walk by to hear him comment offhandedly, "run over any body lately?"

Oh I am hurt. Put me out of my misery. The wind up and the pitch. "Screwed any aliens lately. I mean two in one month, what did you promise the last one the Green moons and Pink stars." Always go with the Lucky Charms jokes, gets them every time. He looked beaten thats when Mouth speaks up. "I heard you flashed the Lunch crowd. I always knew you were a slut."

I run to the back. She starts laughing and moching my comment. I release a death cry and charge from the back swinging my mighty sword. One two three, they flee in a hurry as I swat the buggs. "Damn flies. If you come near me again I will swat you!" As they leave the View of the Crash Down I turn to see my dad frowning at me. Dejectedly I hand over my not so mighty fly swatter over. To my total shock he only shakes his head and laughs. He walks off and I smile to quickly. He turns around and curls his finger for me to follow. Man I am never getting of death row.

Next chapter: Some one gets fresh with Liz, Liz gets mad at Agness and all hell breaks loose.

Part 4

Hey people it's me again. Hey! I heard those grumbles and boos. Ya know better I created every one of you and I can destroy you like that. Thought that would stop your bitching. Maria clones return to the electric chairs and Max clones return to the Fran Drescher, Roseanne, Regis and Cathy Lee cross over booth. Yeah I know it's the Nine rings of hell for them. I think I will switch the Tess clones back to the Macaraina, Barbie Girl, Ice Ice Baby, and This Is The Song That Never Ends dance studio from the dunking boothe where they use live ammo. Oh Yeah, it's good to be insane.

My shift is over in a hour and I get to go make more Michael candles. What a fun life I lead. There she goes again on her thirtyith brake of her shift. That lazy heffer. I swear if she sit on her ass one more time I put a pin under it. Oh well I can dream more of Michael if these people ever leave. Oh no you don't guy. Thats right no one in here you are imagining things. This is all a dream, we are not really here. Please just keep on walking by that door.

Oh lord why do they always sit in my section. I walk over giving my best hurry up with the order and please don't ask about aliens grin. He/she /it smiles at me, at least I think. Dressed like cousin it with a bad dye job, the voice was nonsex. I swear they get weirder ever year. A Cherry Coke, Sigorney Weaver, and Saturn rings. May be if I offer it a bottle of Moose it will leave. As I turn to leave I feel a pinch on my butt. I turn back to the thing in the booth and smack up side the head.

It curses my name in full and I freeze. How does it know my name? I ask just that name and it smiles at me again. Then it scratches a fur covered eyebrow with a ringed index finger. So my little fire starter has returned. Oh this will be good. I bend over to whisper in the things ear. "I go on brake in Five, meet me in the back."

I saunter over to the window to give Jose the Order, just as Agness returns. I smile at her sweetly and go to fix Michael his drink. Smilling I bring it over and drop my pen and bend over to pick it up. I hear the table start to shake as his powers go nuts again. I got ya where I want ya, now I'm gonna eat ya. Now the coup de grause, open top of uniform and bend over table to look him in the Forehead? Well I see he needs no introduction to them. Strech and I am through. He is hooked.

Okay time to tell agness I am going on... That little bitch. I pull a couple of pins from my pocket and place them in her seat, just to get My point accross. I tell Klutz I am going on brake. She smile and tells me go ahead. Say what you will but she is friendly, Loyal, charming, and has bad breath. She is a total dog.

Once in back I open my uniform and lay back accross the brake room couch spread eagle. He opens the door speaking, "Liz you know if it's me Michael, you just invited a total stranger back here to..." He stops in the doorway as he releases it comes back to hit and he flies right in my arms. Yes this worked out great. I kiss him to cover his open mouth and he finally gets lock jaw. There is no reciprecation. He tries to climb off me so I wrap my body around him and dig in my nails.

This only serves to make him more determined to get up. I start to growl and bite him all over. When I reach his ear leaving marks up his neck he is ready. He picks me up and slams me in the lockers kissing fom my collar bone up to my mouth sending shudders through me. I feel him press his serious arousel between my leggs grinding me in to the wall. Harder I growl at him. He ablidges after I use my heels like spurs. Pulling his hands down my back he removes my thong with little effort and alien energy. I start to unzip him as he moans loadly. I kiss him to make him quiet. Kissing Michael is wonderful in itself but where is the Fireworks. Then I hear a throaght clear and Agness asking me if I thought it was time to get back to work. Oh you asked for it bitch. "What do you think I am doing? Those tips don't make themselves. So go set on and rotate."

She runs from the room red faced. My god she can move. Well the Moment is ruined but Michael got a kick out of it. His laughter is so nice he gets another kick out of it, from me. I push him off with one last kiss and a "My window is always open." I think that made him harder because I heard him curse as he zipped up. I could not resist another jab. "Whats the matter, get your head cuaght in your pants again?" I laugh as he picks me up and twirls me around kissing me senceless. The moment is ruined by Agness yet again when I hear her scream. I fall out of his arms laughing as I realize Agness sat on my pins. I finished buttoning up as I explained it to him. we walked back in to the Dining area laughing.

I finished my shift with relative ease as Michael was the last person there. After I locked up and cleaned the counter I went up stairs. Funny I feel a little cold after Agness first walked in on us. Since then I have been shivering. When I get up stairs I tell my parents good night and hear them talk as I turn to leave. When I bend down to take off my heels feet aching they grow quiet quickly. I guess they must be discussing me so they don't want me to hear.

Once in my room I head strait to the bathroom to take a long hot bath. I get undressed and start the water and pour in my bubbles. As I walk back in to my room I catch something in the Mirror. Two purple hand prins on my butt. Thats not the worst I check out my clothes in my hand and OH MY GOD, WHERE IS MY THONG? A whistle of appreciation makes me turn back to back to my room. There is a very horny cousin it sitting on my bed. I walk over to him and straddle his hips.

A knock on my door followed by my mother barging in, "Sweaty why was your thong down stairs and purple hand prints on your bu... Oh my god who the hell are you sitting onnnn..... Oh my god Jeff," is quickly followed by a loud thump of my mother hitting the floor.

Next chapter: Liz does an impression of Maddam Cleo, She knows all, tells all, and Bares all.


posted on 6-Dec-2001 7:57:24 PM

Part 5

"Ah ello Dhere. Yus tank you, I hope you ave a nice day too. Maddam Cleo ere, I pridict that your plans are bout to Bottum out." A little voice in the back Liz's mind tells her as her a** hits the floor. The next thing she sees is her window fliing open and a mass of hair and alien dissapate like a shadow in the light. Dazed and confused she sits on her floor in the buff.

So by now you must be thinking I am busted, not so. Her Highness the floor Queen does not wake up right away which allows me to get on a robe. When I reach her side dad is already coming in my room to tend to her. He looks aroud the room as we sit here triing to recucitate my mother. About twenty gentle slaps to the face later her eyes open. I keep tapping her for good measure. I stop when she glares her do and die glare.

When she sits up she looks at my bed then at me. I give her my best innocent little ole me wide eyed star and she glares again. My dad is confused so he asks her first what was going on. She only stares at me then says nothing. I know we will talk later. That night I call Kyle to tell him what happened, needless to say I hung up on his constant laughter. After I take my bath I sit on my balconey and stare at the stars.

When I wake the next morning I find a bird has used the wire above as a perch. I move slowly as not to disturbe the damn thing only to have it open it's wings and release the s-H-I-t Bomb. I raise my hand to block the turd only to catch it. I scream at the thing in barely discernable words. As I raise my hand the stuff flies back and nocks the bird off the wire. I freeze. "What the Hell," I ask to nobody in particular. I point my hand at a plant on my balconey and will it to fire. Nothing. I try it a few more times growing very impatient. The phone rings down stairs and I realize what a fool I am making of my self.

The rest of the morning was uneventful other than the withering glares my mother gave me. At noon he walks in. My mother is none the wiser. I smile at him. He returns it with a lick of his lips. I thought only men found that sexy. I soundless voice to him we need to talk. He points to the brake room and gives me a five minute signal. I agree.

Once in the brake room I jump him only to be rebuffed by his firm grip on my arms. "Whoa slow down Liz, we could get caught."

"Well that is the whole point of sneeking around. The thrill of fear of getting caught. Duh you should know that."

He shakes his shoulders dismissofly. "I had to make sure you knew." With that he takes me in to his arms. We are about to burst in to flames as the couch in the room does. He starts to freak grabbing for the exstinguisher. As he puts the flames out I still stand there stunned. Only one thought, actually two. Damn, and what will happen when we go all the way. If the world ends because of this, Damn what a way to go.

As the brake room burst open my mother looks around the room and then directly at me. "What, it just burst to flames on it's own. I mean I came in here and was triing to get Michael off. I mean I was asking Michael what time he got off. Then all of a sudden it burst in to flames like it was commiting suicide." Yeah sure she'll belive that one. I can see it now 'Another Case of Couch Self Combustion.' She tells me to follow her and she walks out of the room. I turn to Michael and say, "see ya later Cousin It. Tell the rest of the Adams family I said Hi." Ms. has no timing walks in to lecture me again and over hears everything. Her eyes narrow and she gives Michael a death glare.

So now Michael is coming over for dinner. He is going to Have The Talk with my dad. I saw my mother laugh as she dugg through the photo albums. I knew she was mean but I did not know she was evil. Vendictive Harpy. I swear every time she looks at me I see her eyes light up in that I have been waiting for this day all your life way.

The time for my execution draws near so I decide that My mom will not get to me. I will let her tell her stories, show those pictures, and make her jokes. As I am finishing the dishes as part of my punishment for the fly swater inccedent I feel Michael come up behind me. He runs his hand down my spine making it arch. He reaches my bottem and massages. It takes all My strength not to jump him there. His other hand travels from my neck to my front. That is when all cohenrent thoughts leave. The pleasure causes my my breath to catch in my throaght. I feel something feel my being as He massages down between my legs. By now he pressed against my back as if we are one. My vision glasses over and release the dishes back in the sink. Just then Agness backs in to the kitchen. With a flick of my wrist she flies back out like some one drop kicked her.

He stops rubbing and I moan for him to continue. He backs away. I turn to ask why when I realize what I did. I just lost all control. "Oh my god how could I lose control like that. Look what you do to me. I am shaking like an addict with out your touch. What the hell are you staring at."

He only shakes his head and scratches his eyebrow. "You ohnestly have no idea what you did?" I look at him puzzled. "You just tossed Agness out like she was yesterdays trash." That image gets us both laughing. We slowly come back for air. "We need to tell the others." After a couple of tries to diswade him I finally give in to him. As he turns to go I goose him for good measure.

I turn back to the sink and run my hand over the water. Nothing happens. "Stupid powers what use are you if I can't use you." With that I finish them By hand. With a sigh I put the last of them away, 'this is going to be a very long night.'

Next chapter: Liz joins the Alien Club as a permanent member, Kyle has his own fears and the dinner on Elm Street with your hostess from hell Nancy Krueger-Parker.


So are you ready for Smut Con Level 2. If I get a positive answer Part 6 might end with it. Or part seven Begin with it.

Part 6

Clovers and blue moons. Pot of golden rainbows just for you... Bamm Bamm Bamm. Shut up. Damn commercials. I am sitting here waiting for the test to turn one line or two. If one I am killing Michael. This is all his fault. Do you Have femine itching... That does it you are the next on my hit list you fowl mouth harlote. Yeah you those women from those Shampoo commercials and that woman who can't help but feel fresh and clean after her forth Doushe of the Day. All, right after those pad people. I mean come on women who are on there periods don't march or sing like that. I mean if they put on full Cammo duck for cover. Oh and if you gathered a buch in one room, you had pray to a god or may be a dozen that your insurance cover's acts of Braud.

You are wondering what I am doing sounding like a nut. Well you're a little late if you are wondering why I am insane. So I sit here waiting for the test to show if Michael is going to be a father. Oh joy another wonderful comercial about STD's. If he gave me any thing I am killing him and that Slut Maria for giving it to him. So your wondering how I got in this position. Well you se children when a man loves a woman very much they express this love in the form known as sex. Don't look at me that way. You asked for it. Okay Okay I'll tell you jeeesh.

Okay so it started after I got off work. We had called the others to come over to Michaels. While we waited things got boring so I started to tease Michael. Nothing special you know just the stretch here, bend over there. He decides two can play at that game. He would remove his shirt and sit there and innocently flex his muscles. This was not tenough for him, so he decided he was dirty and needed a bath. What he had not accounted for was that I too was dirty. I just sat there and watched him the whole time.When he was through washing his hair he started on his body. The nice hting about shower stalls is the way the water is directed away from the curten, so if it was to say, I don't know come open, the water would not come out. When he washed out his eyes he saw no curtten only me. I smiled. He smiled. We smiled together.

I was still in my work uniform so it was easy to get me undressed. Once out of my clothes I jumped on him like a monkey on a tree. He pushed me under the water and slmamed meagainst the walls of the shower as he slammed in to me. Thats when felt the pain and remembered I was still a Virgin. A few moments a little alien magic and away we go. I counted each thrust as I climbed the stair way to heaven. I felt a like the the Count from Seasomy street. One thrust two thrust three thrust four. Five thrust six thrust seven thrust More. Then the climax. Wait that barelly describes it. AND THEN THE ULTIMATE, SUPREMO, MIND BLOWING, GUT WRENCHING, EARTH SHATTERING, EAR PIERCING SCREAMS, and totally alien orgaism.

I finished the shower with him and then got dressed in a hurry. The others would be here soon. As he got dressed I noticed his back was clawed like he was run over. I asked him if he could heal them he only laughed. I took one last look in the Mirror and asked Michael to come here. I wanted to play a little trick on the others. When we were through I was waring a pair of his sun glasses with the mirrored lencisses.

Before I knew it the others were there. Atleast Isabel and Kyle were. When we sat down I was on the couch with the other two and Michael was standing, with out a shirt. He offered the others a drink, I could barely form a coherent thought around him with out a shirt. As he turned to get there drinks Isabel released a gasp as Kyle started to laugh. I figuered out a moment later what they were looking at, my trick was still hidden. Well at least one was, the other was walking in the kitchen. He was such a whore, I mean who else could explain how he knew to do those things with his fingers. Okay I am a little side tracked but you would to after such an expirence. Any ways Is is by Michael's side in an instant asking about the gashes in his back. Kyle is about to fall off the couch laughing, all I can think is one thought, Slut number two knows what slut number one was up to.

Isabel is panicing by now about evil aliens and bad goverment employees, about how she knew that BMV guy was a little too curious about her past. Michael finally calms her dfown enough he got in a fight with wel I let him explain it. "It was a wild animal. I mean it jumped me out of no where. The thing must have been a wild cat or something. It only wanted my body for it's young. We wrested around until I proved I was the dominate one and it relented. The whole expirence is but a memmory I will never forget. I'm surprised no one noticed, it's screams were pretty loud as I pound in to it time and time again. When it was over I felt completely satisfied as a man to prove that no one can beat me."

Kyle was on the floor he was laughing so hard. I kicked him hard and told him there was a reason they were there. Prepare to have a heart attack big boy. We told them about the instances about my powers, minus the making out parts. We told them it only happened when I am extreammly emotional. Kyle was pale. I take that back, Casper was bright red compared to Kyle. Alright Liz you can do this. Must not smile. "Oh there is one other side effect so far." I removed the glasses and Kyle sqeeled like a three year old on helium then passed out. I could not hold it in any longer. I busted out laughing so hard my black tented contacts fell out. After an hour we finally roused Kyle to explain the eyes were the only part that was not true. We had another hour before he came around again.

By this time it was getting late so I had to tell them good bye why Michael carefully got dressed. I put my arms around him smelling his wonderful sent. I started to kiss his back and felt my hands tingle when they stopped he stopped squirming under my kisses. He turned around again and picked me up kissing me harder. When we boke apart his watch was going off telling us it was time for dinner at my house.

As we walked up the steps hand in hand heads down I could hear the funeral march. When my mom opened the door gesturing us in she had a smile on her face that would scare satan him self. "Come in to my parlor said the spider to the fly." Michael only looked at me and my mom tapped me on the head. Rubbing the spot she said to me, "Nay for I shall never leave if I do." Laughing a meniachle laugh she closed the squeaking door. Oh god or gods help us in this our hour of need.

Next Chapter: Liz is totally humiliated, Michael is totally Humiliated, and they are both Totally Humilated together.


So what ya think. I need some help on the next part. I need suggestions on how Liz can be humiliated. Please Email them to me at jlrjroon⊕ I do not want to ruin the surprise of next chapter. But if you must, leave them on the Board. Thanks a bunch. Lopaka Tanu.

part 7

"What is this?" I ask almost afraid to know the answer. "Just open the package dear." My mom talks like I am three, typical. Open tense at the thought of what she might have put in to this little box. We shake ours together and then drop them when they start to vibrate. She is smilling like this the funniest moment of her life. 'If this is what I think it is Mom you are so dead.' I pick up mine as the thing continues to vibrate. I take off the lid and pass out.

Okay so you are wondering what is going on. Here is the low down. After dinner Mom has us in the living room and just gave us each a gift box the size of a shirt box from a department store. She eagerly awaits for us to open them. So here I sit or infactual lay sprawled on the floor with Michael on top of me. What a sight to wake up to. The gift my mom gave me sittting on the floor next to me still vibrating. I look at the back massager and look at my parents puzzled.

My mom smiles at me and speaks. "You father and I thought that you would like a back masssager we know how you have been complaining about it after work. We got one for Michael as well since he is now your boyfriend."

I am about to deny when she send me one of those I still remember The Cousin It inccident. So I keep my mouth shut and nod my head in agreement. I smile my best I love this and you smiles. She stands over near the Kitchen and tells us dinner is served. As we sit down to eat I notice that she has put town Tabasco for Michael. "Mom how did you know that Michael liked tabasco?"

"Are you kidding he practicly begged us to stock the kitchen pantry down stairs with the stuff. I thought he was joking until I saw how much he used."

So mom is watching my boytoy. Keep that one for later. I took my first bite of dinner and nearly spit all out. It tasted horrible. Then I smelled the most wonderful thing. Michael. He had some on his dinner on his mouth and was just going about like he did not notice. He looked so cute I had to kiss him. Delicious, so was the food. Each kiss tasted better than the last until my parents cleared their throaghts in unison. Then I remembered that I was not alone. We broke apart at once but still held touched under the table. So I grabbed the Tabasco off the table and poured it on my food. I mean if I am developing powers why not. The first bite and I gagged. Sweet and spicy. A little sugar after distracting my parents and all better.

After dinner a very frightened person was sitting in the living room. In came my parents with a box, scrap book, and photo album. I turned to Michael. "Please use your powers and kill them." He looked at me like I was insane. "No Michael you don't know them like I do. They are evil. They will make you endure hours of torture just to watch you squrm. They are sadists." I tried to warn him. When they sat down I swear hell froze over. In the box were safe sex products of all kinds and instruction implemects. There they were The Marquis De Sade and Elizabeth of Bathory, my parents. Later Michael would tell me if he had known he would have taken me up on that offer. Many times that night I thought of changing my last name to Borden.

After a product demonstration, we were given a product reliabity chart and endurance test. This was followed by Q and A round which was mostly done by my parents. Then came the Embarrassing stories and pictures. They had me all over in diapers in the tub and on the rug. Last was my moms Never let me catch you again story. The story to kill all teens.

"You see when Liz was two she was daddy's little girl every thing they did was together everything. One day she caught daddy using the bathroom standing up. She asked Daddy why did that standing up. Daddy not being one to miss a beat told her he did it because he wanted to. This puts an idea in her head that she could to because daddy had also said long ago that she could do anything she wanted to. So she did, only not in the bathroom but in front of my family at their anual reunion. I have never been back since. Her daddy was not able to sit down for a week. And Liz nevered stood to pee every again."

Michael was laughing, Mom was laughing, Dad was scowling and I, well I was sharpening a knife. When they all turned to me I smiled my best smile and told them all politely I would be in my room, alone! Michael stopped smilling. He knew we was in trouble. Mom satisfied her work was done went in to the kitchen, Dad soon joined her. All was quiet on the western front. Then we heard it. The laughter so hard they dropped the dishes. Then it got quiet. Too quiet. I krept in the kitchen to find them making out.

That was the last thing I saw. I literally went blind. I stumbled out of the kitchen and ran to my bathroom to relieve my self of dinner. After I cleaned I steadily and calmly went back in to the kitchen. I grabbed a glass filled it with ice water and threw it on them. I ran screaming back to my room with my parents hot on my tail. Their pleas threats and bribes went unheeded. I stayed in my room until dawnwhen I snuck out to get a glass of water. Big mistake I got my glass of water all right. I forgot parents are like elephants they never forget. They only live for the day they can get even. I went back t my room feeling kind of sick. I thought it was from the laughing do much. Then I ran to the toilet.

So here I sit three hours later waiting for the test to turn. Michael had spent the night on the couch. So he was here to support me. Thats if he lives long enough. Tick tick tick tick tick tick DING! The timer goes off. I look at the stick. Ta da like magic your screwed all over again. I hear a loud thump as Michael hits the floor. I sit over him and tap him awake and with tears in my eyes I tell him those Seven magical words. "If it comes out green you're dead."

Chapter eight: A new discovery causes Liz to Snap off Michaels..., Maria and Max learn when to keep their mouths shut, and Kyle becomes reaquainted with the floor.


Well folks I have hit an all time low. The story is becoming like a bad Soap opera. Hope you like it. Please leave feed back Flames are excepted as well and are welcomed if thats how you feel. I understand the need to vent at stupid stories. Remember this is not the real Roswell. Liz is not a Psycopathe. So See ya around. Lopaka Tanu.

part 8

So Michael, think it's okay to not use protection now. I hold up the scultor's knife and I bet he is thinking what does she intent to do with that. "Well tell you what I am going to do with this. You see I am going to prevent any more problems of this magnitude from ever happening again."
With that I slice it off. Just call me Liz Bobett. Thats right Michael is now Michele. That felt so good I think I will do it again. Again and again take that evil erotic Michael candles.

Bet you're wondering why I am neutering my candles aren't you. IF you don't know already go back and reread the previous parts of my life. I mean jeesh, you have to be dumb not to figure out what that damn test meant. Okay calm down Liz. Stress not good. Cousing not good. Watch language and temper. Thats what the books say any way. Okay so you don't understand. I'll put in to simple terms for your simple mind. I AM PREGNANT. Is that simple enough for you?

It's almost time to tell the group. Oh joy here comes the proud papa, probably to tell me they are here. Yep, and he is not happy must mean Maxine and Fly one are here. I get up putting the knife down. Too late he sees what I have done and suddenly his hands find his crotch very interesting. I grab his hands and tell him it's just a phase I will never harm the original. He breaths finally and looks at me in desire. Oh god if this kid is any thing like his father might as well name him Randy in order to prepare the rest of the world. Then again Richard Cranium has it's appeal. Oh well enough of those horrible jokes. At least his name Guerine I mean what rimes or sounds like Guerine.

Time to pay the piper, face the music, grab the bull by the horns, and get this the hell over with. As we walk down the stairs I see the crowd from the pick up window. Oh god I hope they don't make a scene. Why oh why did I think that. Now I know they will. Jinx, I'm my own worste enemy. Once in the dinning room we sit next to each other accross from Isabel and Kyle, while Maria and Max sat on the ends. This was going to be hell.

Michael is the first to speak. "We called you here for a reason."

He was interupted by voth Max and Maria. Max first,"what you going to tell us you screwed up and want us back?" Then Mouth, "Well you are going to have to suffer because I don't want you back."

I spoke next, "You know it's funny you mentioned screwed up..."

But I was interupted by mouth. "What you go out and get knocked up by some loser with a di** for a brain?"

Then my night in rusty dense armor, "Hey I am not a Loser Mari..."

The restaurant went silent. Way to win one for the home team Genious. Now just hand me my lable as town pump and I will be on my way. The reation by my friends was predictable. Isabel started to panic and reached for Kyle. Kyle was getting some much needed Quality time with the floor. Max was stunned beyond words. Too bad Maria reacted as predicted.

"I knew you were a slut."

It took four strong men two pull me off her. In the end Maria no longer could see strait thanks to a right hook. Her throaght had severe strangulation marks and her face looked like a purple plum. I had jumped accross a table, three chairs, and two patrons to get to her and when I got her I felt just like the creature from predator. When I released a blood curdling scream of pure rage she took off at full speed. In the end no one would willing come near me, not even Michael.

My friends think it might have to do with changes and the pregnancy. I just did not have the heart to tell them I was really in complete control. I had only one thought. Kill fly one. Okay I think that what we have learned is that even though at times people can be extreamly evil and uncaring you must in the end forgive them. So I have taken up voodoo. Right now I have nearlly a hundred Maria dolls. Each with enough pins in them to secure a flag the size of Rhode Island together. The Roswell Bitch Trials are going on now as we speak. Half of them are to be burned at stakes tomorrow.

Next chapter: More reactions to the pregnancy.


Part 9

Okay, move along, nothing to see here folks. People are looking at me like I just renacted Madonna's Like A Virgin at the first Mtv awards. Well for starters I would never roll around like a dog. Second of all those uniforms are not that revealing. So I admit I am pregnant. That does not give people to stare like that. I can already hear their whispering. Oh and there is King Maxy Pad amoung them.

Stop you are making me angry, you won't like me when I'm angry. Must fight urge to kill. Must control change from within. Must not allow her to take over.

WHAT THE HELL DID HE JUST CALL ME? That does it. I look at each of them and the rest of the customers. They are all talking about me, one advantage to being pregnant with an Alien baby, inhanced sences. Isabelle and Kyle huddle together closer in the booth. Michael is slowly backing away. Max is pointing and laughing, the tables start to shake. Everyone starts to get quiet. I look at them all, an evil smile starts on my face. I hear Kyle whisper to Michael to help calm me down. I look at him. "Oh shit we're too late." With that they promptly hide under the table.

Max is still laughing at me. Ever hear that joke little bird on my Sill. Well the last line is I crushed his fu**ing Head. Little Max on my sill, come to me so thee I may kill. I release her from the bowls of my hell. Leza, warrior princess. I release a hollar and jump on Max, minus the the revealing jump. He screams in a high pitched tone like the little girl I am about to make him.

Michael's POV.

Oh so I am having to tell this part because Liz has completely left her mind. Figures the only part I get in the story is the understudy. I mean this story is completely not worth telli... oh god its looking at me. I guess I'll start where Lt. Ripley left off. Ya know Sigorney Weaver's character from the alien movies. Any way she is the part alien Ripley because, damn she is going to kill him.

The way she is looking at him I'm ready for her mouth to open and a sencond set of teeth to come out. Or may be she is about to lay an egg in his chest. Either way it will be one hell of a mess to clean up. Thats if she doesn'y burn down the place. She just pulled another Carrie. The doors shut and Locked. I think I smell something burning. Wait thats just Max. She has him down. I think he, yes he's back up. He is attempting to make a run for it. Oh no, he really should not have done that. They like it when you run. I think she can actually smell his fear.

Round Two, ding ding ding. There's the bell. Mad Max is up and facing Liz the Linebacker. She lunges he jumps to avoid, her hand shoots up and OH (high pitched) oh my god. Max has a groin pull and Liz just helped him achieve it. He lands on his knees, hand between the legs and eyes bugged out. He has lost all control and is releasing high pitched squeaks. Liz is up. Look out, she is coming around the front. He bends forward and she pulls his face to look at her. She declares her dominace by Bitch-slapping him, and the fight is over. Mad Max is down for the count.

The crowd goes wild. You poor fools, how short are your memories. She turns to them and smiles again. They cheer louder. We three wise people hide. Suddenly their food becomes animate and like clock work explodes. People stop clapping and try to clean off their food. Liz is just about done. The sprinklers come on, followed by the sonic boom of frozen hamburgers breaking the sound barrier through the front windows. When the last of the Unidentified Friing Objects went in to a stationary orbit of the moon the customers fled.

Liz walked over to the door and called out to them. "Come back you forgot to pay your bills. Oh well this one was on the house. Ya'll come back now, Ya here." Then she started to laugh. It was not maniach Liz, only my Little Psyco Liz. While she stood there we all agreed. I looked at them and said, "Lets really not make this girl mad."

Liz's POV

I stand there. I feel better than I have in the past Two years. The world is suddenly right. I think I can hear Irene Cara's 'What a Feelin' in the back ground. Ding Dong the Bitch is dead. I stand there as Michael comes behind me. He bends down to my ear and makes me melt when he begins to speak.

"You know how sexy you are when you go Psyco."

I laugh at him and turn in his arms to face him. "You know what, I think I can accomedate you." He looks like a deer caught in headlights. I Laugh again. I trail my hands over his suddenly rigged body. When I reach my favorite part I grab on for dear Life. He groans in pleasure. Oh yeah, I like being Psyco.

Next Chapter: Hell has not frozrn over but Roswell has, Class is a total bitch when your Three months pregnant but are the equivelant of Eight and a half, and Pam Troys of the world look out.


The Psycho will now answer your questions of the future. Hey I know as mutch as those so called Psychics, only I put a funny spin on the future. One prediction: Real Liz will cry yet again because of Max. Michael will have a stone wall, and Isabelle will do 'it' like thats how she earns a living only Jessie shivers because her Ice Queen status is not just a deffence mechanism.

posted on 6-Dec-2001 7:58:34 PM
Part 10

Welcome to Roswell Fairy Tale addition. I am here to tell you it's been a night mare. I mean the evil queen has locked the beautiful princess in her tower until now, when her price can come to save her. Since the stunning incedent at the Crashdown a few months ago I have been incarcerated and monitored for my own health. The baby is fine. The little shit keeps me up at night. I mean who the hell invented this? God I thought it would be peaceful, NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO, I get stuck with the baby from hell.

Move over Rosemary, there is a new bitch in town. I mean sitting is a pain, standing is a pain, Laying down is a pain. Every thing hurts. When I finally got comfortable guess what happened. Thats right Damien himself kicked my bladder and I had to run to the toilet. I swear this kid is evil. He does not give me a moments peace.

School started not long after the fliing hamburger inccident. My father the open minded person he is belived I had a telekinetic epsiode triggerd by the emotions hormones and the people around me. He said his mother did with him. Only she managed to shock people and move small objects. Well looks like my saviour inhanced that part of me. Thanks Max. Though now that I think about it (VEG), thanks Max, zap, zap, zap. What else can I do?

I managed cause the system failure of the school computers during typing class. Several times when Michael and I were making out during brakes in our classes the power in the area would go out. During one make out session his powers caused a problem. He sealed the door to the closet. Needless to say it got hot fast. We were panting so hard from the heat we decided we needed to take our minds of being stuck. The resulting passion caused a cascade failure in the school shortly before our powers blew the door off it's hinges.

Enough of that there is plenty of time later. Maria was not seen around town from that day on. I learned that her mother belived that living in Roswell was bad for her ora or some Bull Shit like that. The only danger was not to her ora but from a foot with her name on it. So every one can cheer no morr Pixie or Gerbile to deal with, Sweet. Sorry I just watched this really dum movie with Michael. Can you say Guy Flik. I mean it was like those cheap porn videos he had before I turned him on to the good stuff. Sure it costs more but we have never finished the only one we bought (Wiggles Eye-Brows).

So Is-a-ho I mean Isabelle has been caught with Kyle in almost every position in the Kama Sutra. That was two months of pure hell. I mean not only was my only girl friend not around but she was being stuffed and mounted by my honerary nongirl friend. They were every where Michael and I thought of. What a way to make a person gag. So after their many successful attempts to make Kyle one with everything they decided to slowdown. She was tired of not talking, he was plain tired. I mean she practically rode him like a prized thorough-bred. Now they are just holding each other and talking alot. So perfect to make you gag.

Okat now on to Maxine. He has proved me right yet again. Two weeks after the UFO burgers he was caught by his parents in his bd with his new love intrest. He had been seeing his lover for about a month after the Bitch left his life. So your wondering who it is, what you should be wondering is what it was. I have nothing against them. They are just to girlly for my taste. I swear they make women want to slap them. Thats right Max switched one queen for another. He prefers Latin lovers. I saw them together the other day he was not half bad only he wore to much makeup. Then he did something I would have killed a woman for. He saw a bug and started to scream as it ran after him. Max dumped him for that. I mean even I hate bugs but to act like a child and run screaming with wild abandon. I just fell over laughing so hard. He reminded me so much of Maria.

Max has a new boy friend, he stole him from Pam Troy. Now that I got on tape. She found them making out in her car. With a little help from Kyle and the AV club we got the monitors to play her reaction. Of coarse with a little help from Isabelle we had the tape edited to cut out who was caught in the car. The tape showed Pam catching somebody in her car and dropping everything, yes everything. I mean when you gotta go you gotta go. The original tape is still intact and just waiting on Max or his buddy to screw up. Perhaps that is not the correct choice of words.

Now back to the fairy tale. Every time Pam and her Pametts entered the room we chant, Hi ho hi ho its down Pam's legs pee go. I know how childish that is but it makes me feel better for all the hell she put me through.

I sit here waiting for prince charming to show up. The evil Queen is looking in her mirror and the king is still under her spell. She looks at me and laughs every time I reajust. She is not mean she just enjoys watching me go through the hell of pregnancy. She kisses my forehead every chance she gets and when I cry over it she hugs and says she knows. I feel loved so I let here enjoy mother natures revenge on the bratty children. Yes I was hell on two legs. I remember well what I did. Though I will get my revenge on her when the baby comes. She will get up to keep me company when he can't sleep and is hungry. VEG.

Next chapter: Birth pains causes Liz to grab at Michael to prevent the next child, GodzIsabelle attacks Tokyo, and Jim VANHALIN?


If you are uncomfortable with Slash then you should not read this. But if you keep an open mind then enjoy this. NO SEX IS ALLOWED UNLESS IT IS MICHAEL AND LIZ. It may be hinted at but never in detail.

Part 11

Oh yeah monkeys are fliing out of my butt. Yeah right, you are not going any where near me again. I grab him by the neck and I don't mean medics use to test for a pulse either. He screams along with me. Thats right big boy, know how I feel. I only release when the contraction stops. He bends forward triing to pry my hand free. I release only long enough to get a firm grip, well as much I can get with my tiny hand. Whoa suddenly the room just got hot. I mean my god what did they do cross up his genes with a horse.

Wow that is reallllllllyyyyyyy never touching me again. If he tries it I will brake it off. He has now come down to his knees. I have him right where I want him. The baby is coming and all I can think about is his daddy. How much I want to Hurt him. I mean there can be pleasure derived from ppppppppppppaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnn. I growl in pain and anger as Michael finally brakes free. He comes up behind me to hold me up and massage my back.

Max is inbetween my legs helping to deliver the baby. This is the only way he will be ever to touch a woman this way. I let him only because he can heal me and the baby if need be. I sit here on the side of the road in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere. You are wondering why I am atleast not at home. Well you see the baby was craving things from a certain fast food joint that is nowhere near Roswell. We had to drive to the next county. Michael because well thats obvious. Max because he was the leader, he was the healer, and he was the only person I knew with a car at elevin at night.

Don't get me wrong I still have not forgiven Max, but he is kinda necissary for the survival of us. Yeah as a fu**ing slave. Thats right, I'm the WhoaMan. My will be done sort of thing. You see there is nothing more scarey to a man, than a hormonal woman with powers. He folded like a cheap tv tray. So that explains why we are here waiting for the little nnnnnnnhhhhhhhhhnnnnaaaaa monster to be born. I swear he his never coming out.

"I can see the head. Here he comes. Oh my god." Max promptly passes out. ZZZZAAAAPPPP. With a scream of pain he is back up. "Alright another push should get him clear. Wait push now. Good now hold. Wait now push. Here he is."

Then I here the most wonderful sound. The baby screams. I am a Mother. I'm a Mother. I think I am criing. "Oh let me see him. Why is max not letting me see him. Michael, why is he not letting me see him?"

They look at each other then back at the baby which I can not see. Then I sit up after the last spasim has passed the afterbirth. I look at them and know instantly. My baby is not normal. They hand him to me finally. Grey skin and black eyes. Other than that he looks normal. I look at Michael. "Remember what said about him not coming out green? I meant grey."

Michael suddenly backs up from me. "Now Liz remember you just had a baby. You are in a delicate condition." He is now to the car.

I wave my hand over the baby and he is suddenly red with blue eyes. There that is better. Now I hand him to Max with a stern look about if something happens to him so help you god. I get up and about fall over from the pain. Max still has not fully healed me. "My kid was grey Michael, GREY!" I shriek like a Banchee.

"I am sorry Liz, if I had known," he suddenly stops. "If I had known I still would have done it. That kid is the best thing I have done." Got to admire his courage. Ya know Custer had Courage too.

I walk over to him and fall in his arms. "You are such a pain in the ass. I love you though. Your right the kid is the best thing you ever did." I reach up and kiss him, holding him in a death grip. "Of coarse it will be the last thing you ever do." I read that a Black widow kills it's mates after they copulate. Michael heard these thoughts and suddenly he started to panic. I start to kiss his bobbing adams apple and trace my toung down his throaght.

I felt hungry. He heard my stomach growl and tooka nose dive. There I feel better. When he comes around we are in the car heading back to Roswell. The baby and I are cuddled up to Michael. The baby looks like his daddy in every way, every way. Damn alien clone DNA. Oh well the next will be a girl. Should I tell him I want another one already. Nah I think one heart attack is enough.

Two months later.

"Michael Alexander Guerine get your ass back here." My already walking two month old baby has caught my parents attention yet again. If his growth continues at this rate I will have to tell them my secret. That kid is in his terrible Twos already with a full set of teeth. He also has a firm grasp on his powers. The evidence just jumped over the edge of my balconey. A poor cat that has hearts, rainbows, clovers, and the entire Lucky charm combo on it. The rest was bright red. He looks in the door then runs off screaming. "Magit I know you heard me." My little nick name when he is bad. MAG for his name the rest just came to me. This kid is worse than I was. Imagine getting the most hyperactive kid you can find replacing his blood with sugar and giving him access to the Crayola factory then you barely scratch the surface with My little Mikey.

I have to hurry to get him dressed when I use my powers to get him. Here comes my little angel now as I float him in to the room. He giggles uncontrolablely. He is so cute. I change him back to grey as his eyes go black. I hold him in my arms as he squirms to get out. Now here is a strangley colored baby. He is gray with black eyes and a sprout of Copper hair. One wave of my hand and he is back to looking like a more human color. So help me if he learns to shape shift, I will shape his father in to a coat rack.

As we leave he shuts the door using his powers. I tell him not to do that, and he smirks at me. He could only learn that from some one. I hear the familiar hum of a Motorcycle, and here he comes with his recently added passanger car. Michael pulls along side the curb and smirks at me. Thats whenhe sees the way his son is looking at me. He visably pales. Michael Jr laughs and points at his daddy. "Twouble. Datty in twouble." Did I forget to tell you how smart the kid is. Oh and that minor thing, he can talk.

Daddy gulps and helps me sit him in the seat on top of my lap. I give Michael the come here curl ith my finger he bends down and asks what. I smile and kiss him. "You and I will 'talk' about this later over and over. I want you to get the point accross very well. You will have to make sure that I know what you mean. I will make sure you know what I want so you can do it in the future."

"Datty get it bad lata."

Michael smiles down at him. "No dad get it good later. Mommy make sure of that. I mean she is such an expert at it. You would think she did it for a living."

"If daddy don't shut up and drive daddy will get it bad later. Remember the little score we have yet to settle over a certain Grey person." Michael quick ly puts on his helmet and we go fliing down the road. Of coarse thanks to a little alien magic I feel none of the winds.

When we reach the Valenti Residence Isabelle and Kyle are saying good bye so he can go to school and she watch Mickey. When she sees us she looks nervous. Kyle looks at her sternly and she says some thing to him. I think he made her promise to do some thing, or in her case no to do something. Because I see her fingers crossed behind her back, I bust out laughing.

When he gets out of the passenger car he runs to his aunty Isabelle. As I sit there I wonder they do all day. With a kiss good bye we leave. I plan on seeing them at lunch. They don't know that though.

As I pull up to the block I cut the motor and park the bike. I am alone because Michael sorta got crammed in a closet for not keeping his mouth shut. I sneak around to the side to peer in the windows of the living room. I fall over with laughter at what I see. Isabelle is where a giant green dinosaur costume. And she and Mickey are bouncing all over his toys. Just when I think I got it under control Jim comes in dressed like a rocker. He has on leather pants and vest. No finger leather biker gloves, bandana, shades, and leather boots. He stands around casually. Then a van of similerly dressed men come up to the house. Oh my god, that is his new job. He is a local rocker. Poor Kyle.

I have to wait for fifteen minutes until I can safely ride the bike back. No one is going to belive this. Jim Valenti, the famous night mare of all aliens is now the lead in a metal band. Okay I pull over before I reach the half way point to school so I can stop laughing. I think I will let Jim tell the others. That way I can hold the Camera.

Next chapter: Max has some shocking news for the group, Liz has similer news for Michael, Mickey learns to fear and loath Mice especially ones that walk and talk.


Hope you enjoy this one. It is taking longer and longer to write these. Please I need feed back. What did you think was funny specificly. Thanks.

part 12

"I'm a barbie girl, in the Barbie world, life in plastic, its fantastic. You can brush my hair..." ZAP take that you damn cd player. I am going to kill Michael. He gave that Cd to Mickey annoy me. In the back ground I hear my child laughing at me. Suddenly he no longer laughing as he comes floating in the living room. He tries to struggle to get away from my oncoming grip. He is in my arms being tickled until he begs for mercy.

My son is now the Equivilant of a five year old. Only five months since he was born. The spring came early again this year though in Roswell you could hardly tell. Thats right folks its March, Mating season. Michael is coming on to me every chance he gets and I have not seen Isabelle and Kyle in a week. Michael is convinced they are trying for the world record. I told him it was already too late, we already won the gold medal in that event.

Today is the last day of spring brake. The group is coming together for a meeting. I have not sceen Max in a while so may be I can tease him about how his new boy friend won't let him leave the bed. I finish getting Mickey cleaned up much to his displeasure and his many MO'OMs. I just told him wrong kind of alien, baby.(EARTH FINAL CONFLICT CRACK) He hates it when I call him baby. Time to go down stairs and make their lives a living hell. Mickey smiles as he hears my thoughts. That child deffenitly got my mind.

When we reach the the Cafe Isabelle and Kyle walk in holding bags by the arm load. They both are unusually brown and red. I smile at them then I see the emblem on the bags. Disney, they were in Florida doing god knows what. Isabelle smiles at me then drops her bags as a little screamer comes bouncing in to her arms. We finally get them and their things back over to the booth I have reserved for the seven of us. We sit down and Isabelle hands Mickey a box. He lifts the lid slowly and out pops a mouce with the same name. He screams bloody murder. As he turns gray, hisses and curses fly out of his mouth.

One look fom me turns him pale white. He knows what comes next. Slowly we get up and walk to the bath room. I hand him the bar of soap as he puts it in his mouth. One two three four five, I take it from him and rinse out his mouth. Michael is dead, I told him to watch his mouth around Mickey.

"It was not daddy." I look at him funny. "It was you. I watched you while you were cooking the other day."

So here I sit with a bar of soap in my mouth much to the joy of my son. When my ordeal is over I take Mickey back out to sit at the booth where Michael and a very solomn looking Max are with Isabelle and Kyle. I looked at the other members of our group none were speaking. "What is the problem guys?"

Every one looked every where except at Max, who just sat there like a child in trouble. I looked at and asked, "How did you screw up now?" I know total bitch but I could not take the silence any more. So we sit here as I wait for max to explain, thats when I feel it. There is a connection from a very young mind. A fetus. Some one here is pregnant. I instinctively look at Isabelle who is looking at me. No she would be unable to hide her excitement. Then I look at the rest of them. Which one got a girl pregnant. When I turn to the last face in the booth a I feel the connection again.

He sat there moping. I put my hand to my face but I can't stop the laughter. I knew their bodies adapted but this was rediculous. It has only happened in amphibions and reptiles. How the hell did he get pregnant? "Max are you going to tell us what happened?" Every one shot me a stunned look. Then they looked at his form as he shot for the bathroom hand over mouth. They looked at me questioning. "Morning sickness," was all I could say before I lost all control busting out laughing.

When Max finally came back from the bathroom he was a pale color of green. Michael smirked, Isabelle congratulated between laughs, Kyle was being swatted at by Mickey who was trying to awaken his Uncle. I just sat there staring at him as he cried on Michael's shoulder. Michael held him patting his back looking at me pleading for help. I only shook my head. Serves him right. If it should happen to me it should happen to him.

After fifteen minutes of crying and saying it would be alright Michael finally asked him who was the father!?! or was it the other father? It turns out that was where Max was the whole brake. He was with Pam's ex. They had broken up when Max got tired of being treated as a Yoyo. Gee I wonder why that sounds familier. He woke up this morning feeling very ill and had been getting sick ever since. He realized the 'problem' when he looked in the mirror and saw a glowing hand print in his stomach. When he came to hi head had a welp from hitting the toilet on the way down.

He is going to be a mommy. How wonderful. I think god is a woman and she is as pissed at Max as I am. Oh this is just too good. I mean Max having a baby, can you imagine the labor. That reminds me "Max how is the baby going to be born?"

He stands up and shows us a seam that has appeared along the lower part of his abs Two inches below the belly button. It looks like a zipplock baggie seam. The problem is it's three inches long and from what I remember the baby is at least four and a half inches long on the crown. I knew there was a god. After soom good natured barbing I finally let him be. He was not going to like the changes and the hormones. I calmly explain to him what to expect. Half way through Isabelle looked at Kyle and smiled. He paled and said he was only part alien. She told him that was enough. When we revived him I told him it would only happen if he was an alien like Max and was gay. He looked totally relieved.

Michael looked at me. "How the hell could this happen?"

I look at him and give him my Watch your mouth look. "Your species is driven to survive and reproduce at any cost. Hence the breeding season of March. That and it being breeding season made his system go in to overdrive. When it could not form a connection with a female to creat a baby, yet it was getting release from the urges he probably changed enough inside for him to reproduce with another of his own sex." They looked at me. "He was in heat, he got the only person pregnant he could, himself."

After explaining it to them again several times they finally understood his body adapted to produce children because it belived there were no more females. Ah the joys of evolution. Now that the thought of him a Joey make me want one too. No not a baby kangaroo, a baby. Mickey is growing so fast he will be an adult this time next year. So I plan a surprise for Michael.

Mickey was down for the night, the rents were out of time and Michael was here for the night. I put on my heels and a smile then I walked in to the kitchen for a bottle of Tabasco and a can of ready whip. Cirlcle this one then that one. Apply dabs of Tabasco, and a cherry on top, and you have whip cream sundays with a cherry on tit. I walk in to the living room asking if he wants desert. He is so in tothe ball game he justs grunts handputs out his hand. It is at the right level so I let him cop a feel. He feels around for a bit and then the TV blows a fuse. Ah that old black magic is back.

Next chapter: Liz and Max share secrets, Max expierinces growing pains, Oh and did I forget Polar smut.


Now how did you feel about the story. Express your self or I will call in the dancing Tess clones to perform that song for you.

Part 13 Do to the graffic nature of this piece I suggest you leave all clean thoughts behind. This is not for the weak minded or the small stomached. Scratch that, small minded and weak stomach. There is lots of Sex and lots of laughs so set back and relax. Maybe smoke an imaginary cigarette or two after. Please no real ones this is a smoke free zone. Just say HO. And now to our story.

The Television just started to spark. Well at least I got his attention. Now to get him off that couch. Time to do a banana split. He is looking at me where I sit on the rug. What are you waiting for. This rug is really rubbing me raw. Great by the time he gets here I will have rug burns all over my sensitive spots. God I never noticed before but this this hurts. May be I'll tell my parents to get a new one when they get back from there Two month long Twentieth aniversery.

"Hello are you even paying attention to me. God say some thing Do something."

He does, he grabbs me by the waist and carries me to the kitchen. What the hell is he doing that for. Next thing I know we are on the table. he has removed his clothes and is now on top of me. Oh god his hard body is pressed in to me as he licks me clean. Each lick is like a touch of pleasure. He sends ripples of euphoria through my body causing my body to arch under his constant minstrations. He licks up my chest to my neck and starts to nible and sock on my skin. I know that I will look like a whore but who cares it feels so good. The next thing I know he is above me and is positioning him self for a quick entrance.

With one quick thrust he is in me, and I feel like the world is filling me up. He is so big it hurts. My breath is coming in pants. He pulls out and then is back in. In out in out in out. Each thrust is harder than the last. I am about to go insane with pleasure and extacy. My legs wrap around him as he contiues his steady rythim. I feel like I going to explode. He starts to make squeaking noises. Thats right let momma know you like it. He then says my name.


"Please, I can't breath." I release him from my legs and he goes back to his drilling. I feel like he is going to hit oil at this rate. Then I feel his body shudder and I go over. He screams out in his release. After he has spent the last of his energy he collapses soon to be followed by the table.

We lay there laughing until I hear a gasp from the door way. "What the hell have you done to my table." I look up and there is my mother and Father.

"Oh shit."

"Watch your mouth young Lady. I suggest you get up and get dressed because we are going to have a talk." My mom was about to say more but thats when my son decided he wanted something to drink. He came in and turned grey. Mom saw him and turned white. Then they both hit the floor.

So mom and dad now know about the aliens. They took it kind of well, if you call screaming her head off, and daddy threating to kill Michael for making me one of them. When he heard it was Max he almost went nuts. I had to tell Max was pregnant to stop him. That was enough for my dad. He soon joined her in the land of the coma people. All and all I say it went well.

Mom is now extreamly protective of my son. He keeps on asking me to make her stop. I only laugh. The other day I found my dad laughing his ass off in the brakeroom. I asked what wa so funny. When he finally calmed down enough he showed me. Max was sitting in a chair outside the booth with his parents and sister. He was to big to fit in the booth. He was only two weeks along but when your having twins I guess they can get big pretty fast. But thats not even the half of it. He was constantly adjusting himself because he could not get comfortable. His pants did not fit so he was wearing coveralls. Complaining and whining about every thing I could only laugh at him. Every five minutes he ran to the bathroom, small blatter. He can't even stand to pee either, he can't see it. Plus that and the fact he gets dizzie if he stands too long.

There is justice in the world after all. Oh and I almost forgot the main part, he has breast. Thats right he has big bouncing breast. He puts me to shame. What is it with aliens and big breast. Oh My God he is rubbing his nipples complaining about how they hurt. His parents are looking at him funny, yet again. As they get ready to leave Phillip has to help Max get up so he can waddle out of the Crashdown. Max is only wearing sandles because his feet are so swollen. I laugh at him and he tries to silence me with a look. "What, I swear I get no respect. No respect." I only get more of a glare for my Rodney Dangerfield impression. Holding the neck on my uniform, "Sheesh no respect. I swear you kids get even more annoying each year. You think because your the future that the world belongs to you. No respect."

Next chapter: Max goes on strike when he expierences labor paines, The group gets a new member, and Liz has a surprise for Michael.


part 14 To Eva, thanks for the responce ,and pandas2001 may your wishes be fufilled.

"Oh you're such a pussy. Suck it up and push it out. I mean it was not this much of a problem for me." God he is such a whiney bitch. If he cries one more time I will slap him. I went through this already. He is going through it double. Yes Max you always wanted to get in my pants, now you know what its like to be in them. Does it make you feel manly now that you are pushing to get a baby out of you.

You are wondering how we got to this point. Well it started thirty-six hours ago. Thats right Thiry-six hours of labor for dear sweet Max. I can't stop from laughing. This is the ultimate revenge. Thats right I am moching him. Don't give me that "its such a wonderful and natural thing" bullshit. Its a whole lot of pain and hell. Then your glad the little shit is out. This comes from expierence. And I mean it in the nicest way. I am a little tired of his mouth.

Okay he was working in the UFO center. One thing about being a gay alien in roswell is you can't come out on two things. So he was stuck working until they came. People just thought he was putting on weight. He bent down to pick up an exhibit piece resebling his bride from hell when his birth spasims started. He had his first contractions. He screamed bloody murder. He grabbed his back and fell to the floor. Brody sent for Michael and me. Niether of us was much help as we kept on laughing at him. We finally got him off his ass and dragged him out to the jeep. We took it out to the caves on the reservation. It was the only place he could have them in relative peace.

We had Isabelle and Kyle watch Mickey for us. On the way his seam breached and a green liquid came rushing out. Then his abdomen contracted and I could feel the kids moving around under his skin. Then he started to scream about how they were not coming out. How he could not do this. Turns out he was right. They were not coming out. We have been here ever since. Max wakes up in a great while to whine shift and expierence one of his in-to-frequent contractions.

Thats when Genious came up with the obvious. Michael spoke up. "May be we have to turn them. I mean we have to stick our hand in there and physicaly turn them."

So I am fingering Max. Wait that did not come out right. My hand was the only one small enough to fit in the opening. For starters MAJOR EWWW. He was hot and moist. It felt like when I, never mind to much information. Any ways he was wiggling and complaing about how much it hurt. What, its supposed feel good? I never felt any thing like it in my life. It was so alien, no pun intended.

I movede my hadn and got kicked. The little shit kicked me. So I reach in there and turn him to grab both feet and pull. Oh that really got Max started. I know your supposed to allow the mother push but I was tired of waiting and this baby was not coming out. He came out screaming and buck naked. When he looked at me he had steel tinted eyes. Max's boyfriend had green eyes and was raven haired. The baby had bronze hair. He was gray and screaming. That night the baby was not the only one screaming. I gave the baby to max and reached and pulled out the other one. She screamed at me too but was the spitting image of her father. Thats when I turned and decked her father.

When Michael came to I was on him in an instant. I was slapping him and cratching at him for all I was worth. "You stupid basterd. I am going to kill you. How could you sleep with him. He was the enemy. You were mine. You cheated on me with that alien whore." Thats right Michael is the daddy. Looks like the March madness was in full swing. So after beating Michael to a pulp I turn on Max. He flinches. I would never hit a new mother while she was holding her babies. So I took then and set them on his chest. Let him find out what a pain being a mom really is. They latched on like a couple of leaches. He screamed in horror as much as pain. Music to my ears.

While waiting for them to finish and Michael to come out of the coma I placed a hand in the birth pouch and removed the after birth. He screamed at me again. So I left my wrings on. When I pulled back my hand the pouch excreted a colorless liquid that sealed it again in a scab. He like most mothers still had that prgnancy fat and one hell of a set of stretch marks. Too bad he is an alien. He could have worn them as proof that he was a mom. But who could he brag to about that?

So where do we go from here? I have no idea. Max is a mother. I am a mother. Michael is Bi. Isabelle is a ho. Kyle is very happy in both relationships he has, Isabelle and the floor. Mickey is glad he has a brother and sister, yet he wonders why mommy is not their mommy. The two brats are a holy terror. At three months they run around the house and nearly kill Max. We all moved in together for the children. Mickey and Maxers are happy being brothers. But make no mistake I am the WoMan. No one bosses me around. And little Eliza is a Psycho in the making, I am so proud.

Sequel: Five years in the future. Turns out that once they reach puberty they grow normally. Life is hell with two sixteen year olds and a seventeen year old. Liz, super Biology teacher has all three of her kids in her classes. Michael has his twins in his art class. And Max the house wife from hell with a scrub brush instead of a pitch fork.

So would a sequel make you happy? I mean Eva it's really up to you and pandas2001. Yes the rest of you have a say so stop your bitchen.