|posted on 8-Feb-2002 12:37:43 PM|
|These are all the parts to date of my fic, Flesh and Bone. I'm not sure when I'll be able to finish this, due to some stuff in real life that I'm dealing with. So I'm putting it up on the repost board.|
Title: Flesh and Bone
Disclaimer: The characters from Roswell do not belong to me. I just like dicking around with them and making them do what I want them to do. So like I said, they’re not mine. Don’t sue me.
Category: UC/CC, but in the end...if you've read any of my other fics, you know how it'll end.
Author’s Note: I wrote a story a while ago that I never posted, and so I’m changing a few things around from that story, basically just the POV and I’m posting it. AU, no aliens. It's only gonna be angsty for a little while and I guarantee a happy ending.
- - -
‘Oh god no.’ She thought to herself as she sat on the lid of the toilet. Her bare feet were freezing against the cold tile. She was shivering slightly, silently chiding herself for not wearing warmer pajamas. What was she thinking wearing boxers and a West Roswell tee shirt to bed?
“How can this be?” She asked herself as she looked up at the white ceiling, a look of complete horror on her face. She thought back to every time they’d done it. They were safe. He always wore a condom.
She wondered, as she sat on her toilet and looked up at the white ceiling of her bathroom how far along she was. She wondered if it was even his. He’d been her first, as well as her most recent, but there had been others. Two to be exact. Maybe it’d been one of them? But she knew that they couldn't be. Beside the fact that they'd been safe, she would've known about it sooner.
Staring down at the stick in her hand with the plus sign, she sighed. Her parents were going to kill her. She could not be pregnant. She wasn’t ready to be pregnant. She didn’t even have a boyfriend! How was she going to explain this to them? How was this going to affect her dreams?
All of the plans she’d made for her future, her perfect life that she’d planned out when she was 10, she could feel slipping out of her grasp at that very moment as she sat on her toilet staring at that stick in her hands.
Knock, knock, knock. “Are you ok in there?” She heard her best friend softly ask from the other side of the door. “What does it say?”
There was no way she was going to hide something this huge from her best friend. The second she’d suspected it, she’d spoke up about it. Staring down at the stick she took a deep but shaky breath. “Um...” Her voice wavered.
“I’m coming in.” The door opened, and the blonde kneeled before her. “What does it say, sweetie?” she asked, part of her already knowing, looking down at the stick.
“It’s ok.” She said reassuringly. “Everything will be fine.”
Her gaze shifted from the stick to her kneeling friend. Maria’s hands were resting on her knees, and she was trying her best to remain up beat and positive. To be reassuring and supportive. And in that moment Liz Parker had never loved her best friend more. In that moment, even with the both of them knowing that it wouldn’t be ok, that everything wouldn’t be fine, Liz Parker loved Maria Deluca simply for trying.
TBC? Short I know... Um I don’t know why I’m calling it Flesh and Bone. It’s just the name of an Alien Ant Farm song that I like...so yeah.
|posted on 8-Feb-2002 12:38:46 PM|
|Author’s Note: Just a little warning, if you’re an abortion-sensitive person, this might offend you. But don’t read it, get offended and then just give up on it. Give it a chance. I might surprise you. You know...what if she can’t go through with it?|
- - -
“We’ll go to a clinic, a free one.” Maria said as she and Liz walked out of the bathroom. She motioned for Liz to sit on the bed while Maria went to her dresser and pulled out a pair of socks and a pair of jeans and threw them on the bed next to Liz. “Put those on.” She ordered as she also threw a bra onto Liz’s pile of clothes. “That too.”
“We’ll see how far along you are, that way you can figure out who the father is, because I mean...you obviously have to tell him.” She continued as she went to Liz’s closet and disappeared into it, reemerging moments later with a sweat shirt that said West Roswell Track on the back of it. She tossed it on Liz’s bed and left the room.
Liz sat there, motionless on her bed. This was not happening to her. She was dreaming. And if in fact she was dreaming, she might as well just make herself wake up. “Wake up.” She whispered to herself. When nothing happened she sighed and cradled her head in her hands. Just as she was about to cry, just as she could feel the tears starting to pierce and sting her eyes, and her back began to tingle, Maria re-entered the room holding Liz’s tennis shoes and coat in her hands.
She’d startled Liz. That much Maria could see, but it wasn’t the only thing she could see. The tears. They were threatening to spill over. Her back was probably tingling like crazy, like it always did when she was about to cry. Dropping the coat and shoes onto the floor, she quickly crossed the room and crawled across the bed, situating herself next to Liz on the edge and holding her arms out, a worried expression gracing the pretty features of her face. Her heart constricted in her chest as Liz’s own pretty facial features crumpled, her eyes closed and a tear slowly slid down her cheek.
Pulling her into a hug, Maria gently rubbed her back. “That’s it, let it all out hon. It’ll be ok.” She cooed softly, in the most reassuring voice she could manage.
Liz wanted to tell her that it wasn’t. She wanted to tell Maria that this wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted to say that she would rather kill the life growing inside of her rather than disappoint her parents. That she would rather not carry this baby that grew inside of her womb, because she wanted to go to Harvard. She wanted to be a scientist. She didn’t want to be a mom. She wanted to tell Maria, but she didn’t, and she wouldn’t. She would never voice the feelings that she felt. Because when she was 15, she’d made a pact.
- - -
She’d been laying on Maria’s bean bag, flipping through an old issue of Cosmo that had come addressed to Maria’s mother months ago and talking about sex. Maria had said, “You know, if I ever get pregnant...and it’s...unplanned, I’d never abort it.”
Liz had looked up from the magazine and said, “Oh I know. That is so wrong...why would anyone want to kill a poor defenseless baby?”
Maria had said, “We should make a pact. If we’re going to spread our legs for someone to enter, we’re going to spread them for another to exit.”
Liz had giggled, reached her arm up to rest on Maria’s bed and held out her pinky. Maria had taken it with her own pinky and they had repeated the words together.
But now, she understood. She was in those shoes, wearing them snugly on her feet. There wasn’t even room to wiggle her toes. She knew now what it was like to know that you had created a life that was going to ruin your own.
- - -
Liz waited, shifting her weight in the chair and mindlessly bouncing her knee up and down. She clutched Maria’s hand tightly in her own, like if she let it go, she would die. They’d been waiting in the lobby of the Safe Sex Clinic for nearly 10 minutes but it felt like 10 hours to Liz. And finally when the nurse came to get her, she had literally pry her hand from Maria’s, telling them that Maria couldn’t come back with them.
And so it was with a great amount of reluctance that Liz left her life line and followed the nurse into the office. She undressed quickly and put on the gown they gave her. And when it was over, she asked the doctor a few questions and got the number of an abortion clinic before hurriedly getting dressed. Hiding the number in her pocket.
As Liz walked down the hall and into the lobby she found Maria slouching in the chair she’d left her in, playing with her curly hair. From the time they were Freshmen in High School, Maria had experimented with her look. Her freshman year, she’d had a Doctor Spock type of ‘do. Her sophomore year, she had let it grow out some and flipped out the ends, giving her a cute little girlish look. During her junior year it’d been long with luscious curls. This year, for her senior year, it was shoulder-length with beautiful ringlets.
“How did it go?” Maria asked, jumping up from her seat. “What did the doc say?”
“I have to call back for the results tomorrow, but I’m pretty sure I know when it happened.” She said as she pushed through the heavy glass door and walked out into the crisp January weather. Tucking her hands under her arms to keep them warm on the way to Maria’s Jetta, she turned her head to her friend. “I’m pretty sure it happened that last time with Kyle right before we broke up.”
“I thought so too.” Maria said after getting into the car and starting it up. “I mean, you were only with Jimmy Martin like one time, and that was like three months ago. And Billy, that happened way before Jimmy.”
Liz nodded her head stiffly before looking out the window. “Yeah. I’m putting my money on Kyle.”
“How do you...you know...” Maria started, gesturing with her hands. “How do you think he’ll take it?”
Liz sighed heavily before rubbing her eyes and then running her hands over her face. “If I know Kyle, and I do, he’ll deny it. He’ll tell me its someone else’s baby, and then he’ll ignore me for the rest of the year.”
“What an ass.” Maria muttered as she pressed down on the accelerator, speeding up to get on the expressway. A glance in Liz’s direction had her regretting the statement of a very well known fact. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
Liz shook her head. “No, it’s fine. He is an ass. But...”
“But you still have feelings for him?” She asked, turning to look at her friend and then back to the road when Liz nodded her head.
Liz and Kyle had gone out when they were all sophomores. The relationship had suddenly thrust both Liz and Maria into the lime light of popularity at West Roswell. They were suddenly being invited to all the big social events, and even being asked to sit with all the “in” people at lunch. But by the summer, Kyle and Liz were having problems, and the relationship ended. Maria and Liz had still managed to hang on to their new found popularity, and Liz dated around a bit. When their junior year rolled around, Kyle had come crawling back to her, talking about how much of a mistake it’d been to break up with her and that he wanted her back. She’d caved and they started back up again, lasting until September of their senior year before they broke up once more and then started dating again a month later, lasting until December.
Her father had been in love with him. Kyle could do no wrong in Jeffery Parker’s eyes. As quarter-back, every pass that Kyle had thrown had been golden to him. Even if it’d been fumbled or he’d thrown it too far or short. As the sheriff’s son, he could do no wrong. Kyle Valenti was quite a catch, her father had always said. Liz should thank her lucky stars that she’d managed to snag him up. Was what he had told her, many times. His straight A, book-ish daughter, who in his eyes was quite beautiful, had managed to snag herself a good boy. Even when he’d caught the two in the break room of the Crashdown at two am, heavily making out and Kyle’s hand up his only daughter’s shirt while his other hand had been creeping up her skirt, he’d pretended he hadn’t seen it, and Kyle had done no wrong. Most father’s would’ve been absolutely livid at finding their daughter and her boyfriend at that hour, in that position and Liz wondered as they pulled up in front of the Crashdown, if her father would think of Kyle as a good boy now.
When Maria had dropped her off, Liz went upstairs and immediately pulled out that number the doctor had given her. Sitting in the big oversized and overstuffed chair next to her window she stared at it for what seemed like hours, her eyes finally drifting towards the phone that sat on her night stand.
|posted on 8-Feb-2002 12:39:29 PM|
|AN: Kinda short but it’s all I can do right now. And thank you everyone for the fb!|
She stared at the phone for a few seconds before she let out a heavy sigh and crumpled the paper in her hand. She wanted to pick up that phone and make herself an appointment. She wanted to be able to pretend she hadn’t gotten pregnant, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to go through with it. She could talk herself up all she wanted, saying how much she didn’t want what was happening to her and how she could end it if she wanted to, but she knew that once she was finally there in that building, she wouldn’t be able to do it. Because it was one thing for her to think about killing the life that grew inside of her, but it was another to actually do it.
Pushing herself up from the chair she threw the paper into the trash can that sat beside her desk and then went over to her bed, pulling the covers back. There was nothing she wanted to do more at that moment than sleep, despite the fact that she’d just woken up close to three hours ago. Because Liz thought that when she was asleep she could forget about being pregnant. She could forget about the way Kyle was going to respond, about the way her parents were going to respond, and about the way everyone in school was going to respond. She could forget about the fact that she was never going to go to Harvard to become a scientist, because in her dreams, she could do exactly that. When her dark head of hair rested on the white pillow, she could close her eyes and dream of her dorm room, her room mate, her professors, her lab assignments, she could even dream about how heavy those damn biology books were going to be.
- - -
Liz was jarred awake what seemed like five minutes later as Maria burst through her door. Sleepily she rubbed her eyes and registered her intense need to pee.
“Ok chica. I’m here.” Maria said bouncing down on the bed and handing her the phone. “Call the clinic.”
Liz threw back the covers and hurriedly shuffled to her bathroom, closing the door behind her. “I can’t do that until tomorrow Maria.” She called from the toilet.
“Liz, babe, it is tomorrow.”
“WHAT?!” Liz asked, before flushing the toilet and quickly washing her hands. “I’ve been asleep for that long?”
“When did you go to bed?” Maria asked, noticing that she hadn’t taken off the jeans or sweat shirt that she’d worn the day before.
Sitting on the bed, she snuggled under the covers. “Right after you dropped me off. I came up stairs, sat around for a little while and then I crawled into bed and fell asleep.”
Taking the phone off the night stand, Maria set it down between them in the middle of the bed. “Ok...so call.”
Liz stared at it as if she’d never seen a telephone before. Like she didn’t know what it was or how to use it before hesitantly reaching out to grip the receiver. She closed her eyes, but didn’t pick it up. “Sweetie, it’s not going to go away if you close your eyes and pretend. Even if you don’t call...you’re still gonna be pregnant.”
“I know.” She said on a sigh, picking up the phone. “What’s that number again?”
- - -
“Ok, thank you. Goodbye.” She said into the mouth piece before gently placing it back on its cradle. “Just like I suspected, I’m about a month pregnant.”
“When are you gonna tell Kyle? Or your parents?” Maria asked carefully. She knew that Liz didn’t want to tell anyone that she wanted to keep it a secret or better yet, not have the baby at all. But she also knew that Liz had to tell Kyle, one way or the other because it was the right thing to do, and they both knew it.
“I think I’ll tell Kyle first, soon. Maybe next week. My parents...” She trailed off as she pushed a lock of dark hair behind her ear. “God, my parents. What am I going to say to them? Hey mom, hey dad guess what, I’m pregnant?”
“I mean, when should I tell them? Is there ever a right time to just lay something like that on them? Do I do it at dinner and if so what do I say?” She continued, pushing the blankets off of her and getting out of the bed. “I’m pregnant, could you pass the potatoes daddy?”
|posted on 8-Feb-2002 12:40:32 PM|
|AN: Ok, so I really make Kyle out to be an ass in this part, but...try not to be too hard on him, he could redeem himself sometime later.|
One week later Liz nervously sat on Kyle Valenti’s couch fingering the hem of her black knee-length skirt. She had no clue why she had wanted to look so nice before she’d left the house, but for some odd reason she had. In the back of her mind she was hoping that he would take her into his arms, give her a sweet, gentle kiss and tell her that everything was going to be alright, that they would get through it together.
But she knew that was most definitely not going to be the case. There would be shouting, maybe some tears, there would be name calling, and there would be the inevitable look of disgust or even worse, hate. She didn’t want to see that because if he looked at her like he hated her, it would mean he really did. And in the back of her mind, in a corner of her heart, she kept hope that Kyle still loved her.
“Here you go.” Kyle said, sitting the can of coke in front of her on the coffee table. He was still baffled as to why she was here. They’d broken up and this time, it was for good. For the last time. He’d been furious after finding out that she slept with Jimmy, his best friend, only two weeks after they’d broken up in September. Not even the old, ‘I was upset, he was there and it just happened’ excuse would fly with Kyle. ‘We weren’t even together’ was not going to work for him either. She’d managed to keep it quiet all three months, and when the secret had finally come out of her closet he’d broken up with her on the spot then went to beat the crap out of Jimmy.
“So...” He said as he rubbed the palms of his hands together and sat down next to her. “What’s up?”
“Um Kyle, I need to tell you something.” She said nervously. “I...um...I’m-”
“Don’t say it.” He said, cutting her off. “Look, I’m flattered Liz, I really am but I told you it was over. I don’t want to go back out with you. I’m sorry.”
His words were like a knife in the heart. They hurt. The boy she loved was seriously rejecting her. Shaking off the rejection, she focused on her announcement. “That’s not what I was gonna say.”
“Oh.” Kyle said, feeling stupid. “Then by all means...”
Steeling herself, she squared her shoulders, lifted her head and focused her eyes on the black screen of the Valenti television. “I’m pregnant. The doctor said I’m about a month along.”
The silence was almost deafening and her senses became aware of everything. She could hear the distant ticking of the clock that hung on the kitchen wall. The hum of the furnace, and that slight buzzing that their refrigerator made. She could hear the kids running and playing outside, the cars passing by their house, a dog barking in the distance. The green blinking numbers on the VCR were drawing her attention. The chip crumbs on the coffee table stood out to her eye, like little rocks resting on the dark stained wood.
She was so alert that she nearly jumped off the couch when he finally said something. “It’s not mine.”
“Yes it is.” She said turning to look at his handsome face. “That last time before we broke up, something must’ve slipped through...I wasn’t with anyone else.”
“Yeah like you weren’t with Jim?” He asked heatedly. “It is not mine. It’s his.”
“We weren’t even together Kyle, when that thing with Jimmy happened. And that was back in September. It only happened once.” She shot back at him.
He scoffed and pushed himself up off the couch. “Whatever. How do I know that you’re telling the truth? You lied to me for nearly three months about Jim! So how do I know you hadn’t been fucking around behind my back the whole time? Oh and then remember Billy? How do I know you haven’t been messing around with him some more?”
“Kyle, I-” She started, pushing herself off the couch as well, intent on getting in his face.
“How do I know that this isn’t some little trap? A small town girl gets herself pregnant to trap a small town football hero so that she can either get the hell out or make him stay with her. Trap him into marriage. They make movies about that shit Liz!” He yelled, his face starting to flush with anger.
“I never needed you to get me out of this fucking town Kyle, so pull your head out of your ass you conceited bastard!” Liz yelled, shoving his chest with both hands. “I had a full ticket Kyle! I was gonna follow my dreams, I was gonna go to Harvard and become a scientist. I already had my scholarship and everything, why the fuck would I need you?”
“I can’t do any of that now. Do you think I could go to Harvard now?" She continued. "Do you think this is what I wanted? Because now I’m probably gonna stay in this fucking town for the rest of my life. I’ll end up like Agnes working in my dad’s restaurant when I’m 50!”
The flush from her anger was definitely spreading from her face to her chest as it did when she got mad. She could feel the tingles on her back, but refused to cry. She refused to let her eyes even start to tear up infront of him.
“That’s not my problem Liz! You should’ve thought about that before you spread your legs for Jimmy, you slut!” His head snapped to the side and his cheek was seriously stinging from the force of her tiny hand slapping against his face.
“You’re such an asshole Kyle.” She said, stomping over to the coat rack and retrieving her coat and purse. “You know it’s yours, don’t even try to pretend that you don’t or that it isn’t.”
She turned around quickly and walked to the front door reaching for the knob. “You just go ahead and pussy out Kyle. Don’t deal with the consequences of your actions and don’t be responsible. You just keep doing what you always do, what you seem to do best. I’ll take care of everything by myself, just like always.”
Slamming the door behind her, she shrugged into her coat before quickly walking to her car with angry steps.
- - -
Reaching out her hand she softly grabbed a hold of the knob on the red door before her. Not even the familiar second door knob just above the one in her hand could make her smile, as it usually did. Turning the knob, she opened up the door and walked into the Deluca house. Closing it behind her she shrugged off her coat and threw it over the back of a chair before tossing her purse onto the table and going over to the refrigerator.
Grabbing two cartons of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and two spoons, she walked through the kitchen and pushed through the beads into the living room.
“Hi Amy.” She said to Mrs. Deluca as she sat in the middle of the floor and doing what appeared to be meditation.
“Hi sweetie. Maria is in her room.” The older woman said, not bothering to open her eyes.
Liz continued on her way down the hall and turned as she walked into Maria’s room. Her best friend immediately looking up from the magazine, she’d been reading. Tossing it aside Maria sat up in an Indian Style position and patted the mattress.
“Didn’t go so well huh?” She asked sympathetically as Liz took a seat on the bed and opened both containers of ice cream.
“Nope.” She said digging her spoon into the vanilla. “The short version goes like he said it wasn’t his, I said it was, he said I cheated on him, I said I didn’t, he said I was trying to trap him, I said I wasn’t, he called me a slut, I slapped him.”
She handed Maria the Chunky Monkey and extra spoon. “If it went that bad with him, I can’t wait to see how it goes with my parents.”
|posted on 8-Feb-2002 12:41:32 PM|
|AN: So hopefully Kyle kind of redeems himself in this part. Because his heart is in the right place, even though he's kind of dense about it. I’m really proud of the Liz/Nancy scene too... |
Liz watched from the kitchen as her mother, in the living room, folded the laundry while she swayed her hips and softly sang an old Elvis Costello song. She’d been trying to tell her mother the entire week. At the moment, her mother was the only person Liz wanted to tell, but the words just wouldn’t leave her mouth. Or even form on her tongue. Every time she started she ended up saying something else, entirely different. And the more time that passed, the longer she waited, the harder it got.
“Mom, can I talk to you?” Liz asked, walking into the living room and sitting on the couch. “Woman to woman, as a friend?”
“Sure Liz.” Her mother said, leaving out any pet names that she had for her daughter, and sitting next to her on the couch. “What’s up?”
“Um, I have this friend.” Liz started, hoping that her mother would see through the old ‘I have this friend’ line. “And my friend...she’s, well she’s pregnant. She doesn’t know what she should do. She’s scared and she’s confused, and she’s upset. Mom, this friend...she’s gonna have to give up all her dreams because of this.”
“Wait why?” Nancy asked. “Why does your friend have to give up all her dreams? The girl’s got options, you know. There’s abortion and if she can’t go through with that, there’s adoption.”
“She can’t do abortion, and I don’t think she really wants to give it up for adoption either.” Liz said, looking at the carpet. “I mean, she doesn’t want this. She doesn’t want to be a mom because she’s not ready to, but...she doesn’t think that...she could just do that. She doesn’t think she could say, ‘Here you go, just take my baby away.’ You know? Like what if that turns out to be the real mistake and then she can’t do anything about it?”
“Anyway, that’s not what I’m asking here.” Liz continued. “My friend, we’ll call her Wilma. She wants to tell her parents about it. But Wilma, she’s like perfect in their eyes, her boyfriend, he’s perfect in their eyes. When Wilma looks into their eyes, she doesn’t want to see that perfect reflection of herself all dented and tarnished...and even if that didn’t matter...Wilma doesn’t even know how to tell them. I mean, what should she say to them?”
By now Nancy was starting to catch on. Her suspicions were getting the best of her. “Liz, who is Wilma?”
The look on her daughter’s face, the way that her daughter was gently swaying from side to side on the couch, itching her back gave Nancy the answer to her question. “What happened when Wilma told her boyfriend?”
“Um...It’s actually Wilma’s ex-boyfriend mom, and he told her that it wasn’t his and accused her of being a cheating slut when they were together.” Liz explained, feeling the tiniest bit of relief that her mother saw through her Wilma story.
“Wilma’s mother probably never liked him anyway.” Nancy said, encircling her daughter’s small frame in her arms. “She probably thought he was a jerk hiding behind a good boy’s smile.”
“So what should she do mom? What should she say?” Liz asked her mother in a shaky voice as she wrapped her own arms around her mother.
“I don’t know sweetpea.” Nancy said, her own voice wavering. “I don’t know what she should tell her parents, but I know that whatever happens, Wilma will be alright. And maybe they’ll be disappointed-sweetheart. Maybe her parents are going to look at her differently, just a little bit. But that doesn’t mean that they won’t love her just the same as they always have.”
After a good long cry, Nancy and Liz were both wiping their eyes. The conversation left Liz feeling a little better. She wasn’t feeling so alone anymore, she wasn’t feeling so scared. Her mother knew, and it was as if the weight on her shoulders had been lifted and she felt like she could fly.
“Hey mom?” Liz asked as she turned around at the beginning of the hall that lead to her bed room. “Um...don’t tell daddy ok? Not yet...I’m not ready for him yet.”
Nancy shot a small smile in her daughter’s direction. “I won’t sweetpea, I promise.”
“Hey mom?” Liz asked as her mother had turned back around. “I love you...and thanks...for everything.”
“I love you too, Liz, and you’re welcome.”
- - -
Two weeks later, Liz found herself infront of Senior Chows, her hands tucked under her arms to keep them warm, as she waited for Kyle to show up. When he finally did, they went into the building and were escorted to their table. After ordering there was a weird, awkward silence between them that was broken when Kyle noisily cleared his throat, signaling that he was going to speak.
“So I bet you’re wondering why I asked you here huh?” He asked her with a nervous chuckle. “I’m surprised you even came. I mean, I wouldn’t have blamed you if you didn’t.”
“I’m pretty surprised myself.” Liz said, looking away and picking up her water glass. “I wasn’t going to.”
“Well...I’m glad that you did.” Kyle said looking down at the table. “Because I really wanted to apologize to you for the way I acted.”
He went on when she said nothing. “You’re not a slut. I shouldn’t have said that. And I don’t even know what I was thinking with that whole ‘you’re trying to trap me’ speech I gave you.”
“Ok, but I haven’t heard the apology yet.” Liz told him, sitting her water down and looking at him.
“I’m sorry. Really, really sorry. I was a complete asshole.” Kyle said, looking up to meet her stare.
“You should be.” She told him, leaning back in her chair. “And you’re right. You were a complete asshole.”
The conversation lagged for a few moments, turning into a heavy silence. Once again, her senses became aware. She was aware of the people who were laughing, of the people who were whispering. The waiters, she could hear them taking orders. Silverware clinking against flatware could be heard. Shuffling feet, swinging doors, easy listening music.
“Thank you.” She said, as her plate was set down infront of her.
Kyle picked up his fork and looked down at his food. “I got accepted to Michigan today. U of M.”
“Oh?” Liz asked, sounding uninterested even to her own ears. “Congratulations Kyle.”
“Thanks.” He managed to tell her before stuffing some food into his mouth. “I want you to come with me. When I go.”
A surprised Liz, looked up from her food, wondering if she’d just heard that right. “Excuse me?”
“It’s not fair. I get to leave this town and now you don’t. Maybe you never needed me to get you out of here before...but you do now.” He told her, looking up from his food. “I don’t want you to be Agnes. You’ll be miserable here. I don’t want that. I don’t want the kid to grow up hating me because I left. Abandonment scars can be ugly and deep Liz. I should know.”
Ignoring that last part of his speech, she focused on the first. “Why are you always so conceited Kyle? I didn’t need you before but I do now? What the hell? Like I can’t raise a baby by myself and get out of Roswell at the same time?”
“Liz, it would be so much easier for you if you came with me. My graduation money pooled with yours, we could afford a fairly nice apartment. I could get a job, you could get a job until its time for you to not work anymore, and we’d make it.” He imploringly told her.
“This isn’t a movie Kyle.” She told him as she leaned into the table. “You’re not gonna take me out of this town and then we’ll live happily ever after in our lovely little apartment with our beautiful little baby.”
“You’re on a scholarship at U of M, that much I know. A football scholarship. You have to keep up your grades. You have to go to practice. You have to go to away games. And you think you’re going to have a job and support me and a baby? You think that you’re going to have time to spend with the baby?” She continued. “I mean really Kyle, do you honestly think that you’re going to have time to eat, sleep, study, go to school, go to practice and work, play your games both home and away and take care of a baby?”
His silence said everything. He obviously hadn’t given a whole lot of thought to the plan he’d devised. “I guess...I didn’t think-”
“Yeah. You didn’t.” Liz said curtly, cutting him off. “You never do.”
Looking down at his plate once more, he folded his hands in his lap. “I deserve that. I deserve any hostile words or feelings that you have toward me.”
“I know.” She said picking up her fork again and shoving a mouth full of food in.
“Then I’ll just...stay, here in Roswell with you.” He said sadly. “I’ll turn down the scholarship and stay.”
“No, you won’t.” She told him sternly. “You’re taking it. You’re not gonna resent me and the baby for the rest of your life because you didn’t go play football for U of M. You’re good Kyle but you’re not NFL material. You’ll be back before you know it.”
“An injury may cause you to come back sooner. Because let’s face it Kyle, academically, you’re not good enough for the University of Michigan.” She knew her words hurt his feelings when he closed his eyes. If there was one thing Kyle hated, it was being called a dumb jock. “What? Truth hurts? Payback is too much of a bitch?”
He would take whatever she wanted to throw at him. It was her turn now. He’d had his that day in his house when she’d told him she was pregnant with his child. If she wanted to hurl insults at him, he would let her, and he wouldn’t lift a finger to defend himself.
“I’ll go to Michigan Kyle.” She told him, watching as his head lifted up and his eyes opened in surprise. “But not with you. Because I do not need you. I’m not so sure I even want you anymore.”
“I’ll go because, even though you’re an asshole, my baby deserves to have a father. And even though you’re an asshole, you deserve to be in your baby’s life.” She said as she stood up and put on her coat before walking out of the restaurant, leaving him sitting there.
|posted on 8-Feb-2002 12:42:27 PM|
|AN: Funny you should wonder about that Sniblette, because it just so happens I have that part right here. Man, I’m pretty hard on Kyle. Lol, I guess I kind of wanted him to be one of those guys that says the wrong thing at the absolute wrong time. So he is now.|
Liz paced around her room, holding the phone in her hand listening to Maria’s incessant babble. For the last five minutes Maria had been listing things that she’d need when they moved to Michigan and how much fun they were going to have.
Twirling the cord around her finger, Liz smiled the first real smile her lips had seen in months. The second she’d got home she’d run to her room and called Maria, telling her how the dinner with Kyle had went. Maria had almost made her deaf shrieking, “WHAT?!” when Liz had told her about Kyle’s proposition. And she’d squealed and laughed so loud, Liz thought she might’ve popped an ear drum, when she had told her about telling Kyle off.
“Lizzie, I’m so proud of you!” Her best friend had said from the other end of the line.
Then when Liz had told Maria that she was actually going to go, just not with Kyle. Maria had grown quiet.
“I was kind of hoping...that you would want to come with me?” Liz had tentatively said to the girl who had been her best friend since they were crapping in their diapers. “Because, I mean, I couldn’t do it alone...”
Maria had screamed of course so loud that Liz had to jerk the phone away from her ear. And then Maria had started the babbling. Listing off everything they would need for their apartment. She’d inhaled once, told Liz that they needed to start planning, exhaled and then started babbling again.
A few minutes later when Maria finally ran out of things they would need when they moved, she started babbling about how she was going to be the best Aunt, Liz’s baby would ever know.
“That’s because you’re going to be the only Aunt my baby will ever know.” Liz said, smiling. “I mean, I don’t have any sisters, Kyle doesn’t have any sisters. It’s all on you.”
- - -
“Hey Kyle.” Liz said as she opened the front door and stepped aside, making a sweeping motion with her hand. “Hi Sheriff.”
Tonight was the night. Her mother had been asking her for weeks when she was going to tell her dad about her bun cooking in the oven. Kyle had said that he would like to be there, because it was his mistake too, and he was bringing along his dad. Just incase Jeff got a little crazy someone could stop him from strangling Kyle.
“Jim, Kyle, good to see the both of you again.” Jeff said entering the living room and walking over extending his hand to Jim and hugging Kyle.
Sitting down to dinner, Jeff eyed both a nervous looking Liz and a fearful looking Kyle. “So what’s this dinner about? Are you two love birds getting back together?”
“Um, not exactly daddy. Kyle and I have something to tell you.” Liz hesitantly told her father. Looking at her mom for encouragement Liz closed her eyes and told her father. “I’m pregnant.”
It was silent for a good five minutes before Jeff’s throaty chuckle filled the room. “I’m sorry, I must have hallucinated just now. Because I think that my virgin daughter just told me she’s pregnant.”
Not a good sign. Nancy thought to herself looking at her husband, straight faced. Looking around the table Jeff’s laughter quickly died out. Looking directly at Kyle, Jeff’s expression turned stony. “My daughter is still a virgin, right Kyle?”
If it wasn’t for the seriousness of the situation, Liz would have laughed at Kyle’s expression. It vaguely reminded her of a deer caught in head lights. Kyle cleared his throat. “No. Sir.”
As Jeff turned to Jim, he saw no shock on the man’s face. No anger. “You knew about this?!” When Jim nodded his head, Jeff turned to his wife’s relaxed face. “You too?!” He stood up quickly from the table and Kyle gripped the sides of his chair firmly, his knuckles turning white.
“We didn’t mean for it to happen, Mr. Parker, sir. We were safe.” Kyle said before he could stop himself. “I used a condom with Liz, every single time.”
“More than once?! The two of you had sex more than once?!” Jeff yelled, his voice bouncing off the walls of the small kitchen, making it sound louder than it really was. “I can’t believe this!”
“Mr. Parker, sir, you must’ve known. I mean we have been since junior year...you almost walked I-”
“Oh god Kyle, just shut up!” Liz yelled, cradling her head in her hands. “You’re just making it worse, just stop talking! Please!”
“Yes Kyle. I think that’ll be enough out of you right now son.” Jim said, patting his son’s tense shoulder.
“Daddy, look. Ok it happened, there’s nothing we can do about it now, I’m not having an abortion and I’m keeping it. We’ve already made up our minds. We’re not getting married and when Kyle leaves for Michigan after graduation, I’m going to.”
She jumped when her father and her mother both shouted, “WHAT?!”
“Maria and I are going to Michigan. We’re gonna get an apartment near campus, jobs to support ourselves. I’ve already made up my mind.” Liz said, leaving no room for discussion. “Kyle wants to be a part of the baby’s life and he can’t do that if I’m in Roswell and he’s in Michigan.”
- - -
A good one hour later, after Jeff had calmed down and started to lecture them, and then broke down and cried excusing himself and going back to the bedroom he shared with his wife, Liz showed Jim and Kyle to the door, thanking them for a lovely evening.
Standing outside her mom and dad’s bedroom, Liz waited for her mom to emerge.
Flashing Liz a tight, forced smile as she emerged from the room, Nancy closed the door behind her. “He needs some time honey. I think he’s more hurt that nobody told him before now than anything else. He’s mad at me, he’s mad at you, he claims to hate both Valenti men. They’re both banned from the Crashdown as of tonight. I think your dad feels betrayed.”
“I know sweetpea, you didn’t mean to hurt his feelings, but some things just can’t be helped.” Nancy said, bringing her daughter into her arms and hugging her. “You’ve had a long day. You should probably go to bed sweetie.”
Turning around feeling upset and disappointed in herself, Liz mumbled a good night and entered her room.