posted on 22-Jan-2002 5:50:17 PM
Title: Twist in my Sobriety
Author: Trinity
Rating: R- drugs, sex, violence, and some other pretty nasty stuff.
Disclaimer: UPN owns Roswell, the characters, and situations. No infringement intended. Nothing is mine.
Summary: Post ITL&ITB. Max has just found out from Tess that she is pregnant. He, as in the shows, shuns everyone while trying to figure out what to do about his coming baby with Tess. All the while, due to the loss of her best friend, Liz has gained a new set of friends and a new boyfriend who give her a promise of a better future. Even as the promise of fulfillment disappears to nothingness, the groups cling to the delusions that are slowly destroying their lives, denying reality until at last they are eye to eye with their worst nightmares.
Authors Notes: If you know what I’m basing this fic off of, please don’t say anything as I will reveal all at the end. And don’t even think that it will end the same way.

Four weeks after Alex’s funeral…

The lighter flicked and the liquid in the spoon sizzled as they snapped the tourniquet into place. The needle sucked as a hand slapped the vein. And then, a thunderous rush of liquid emptied out along with an ecstatic sigh.

“Sh-it, that’s some good smack,” Tyler groaned. He leaned back in his chair, reflecting on life as he watched the next person take a hit.

“Yeah, man, something else,” Darren agreed. He too watched the next person take a hit, though he was a little more careful. “Come on, Liz, take it slow- let it fill you,” Darren coaxed soothingly. Making sure she was doing it correctly, he continued to gaze at the needle that jutted out from her arm.

“Oh, god, yes,” Liz moaned. The two males watched as her pupils dilated to almost double their normal size. She was completely smashed, as should be expected. They just didn’t think it would hit quite as fast.


Michael and Isabel shook their heads as they walked down the street with Max and Tess. Neither knew what to say. Tess was pregnant- what was there to say?

“How could you be so stupid? I mean, didn’t you think about the consequences?” Isabel asked in disgust. She still couldn’t get over how idiotic her brother had been.

“That’s the problem, they weren’t thinking,” Michael growled. He was beyond angry. For the first time in his whole life he had started to settle down and now Max had screwed everything up by getting Tess pregnant.

“It’s not like we planned this,” Max protested softly. He didn’t need the whole town knowing about his and Tess’ coming child. Beside, it didn’t even look as though they would be able to remain on earth for much longer.

“Pregnancy is never planned, Max. Pregnancies only happen when two people are stupid and don’t wait until they’re ready!” Michael spat out.

“Didn’t you use protection?” Isabel asked. She stared wide-eyed at her brother as he bowed his head and shook it. All the while Tess refused to look at her and declined to speak. “I can’t be—“ Isabel was suddenly cut off as they passed a small corner shop. She and Michael fell silent as they stared at the two boys sitting at the counter.

“Ya know what we oughta do, man? We should get a piece of this shit and cut it and off it, ya dog?” Tyler said, his words slurred together as he sipped at his hot chocolate.

“This shit’s good enough to cut in half and still get you wasted. We could double our money. Easy!” Darren agreed. His words were slurred as well and his eyes remained fixated on the food in front of him. It was beyond obvious that both boys were strung out.

“That’s right. An’ then we buy a couple a pieces an’ we got somethin’ else goin’, man,” Tyler added a moment later after taking another sip from his cup.

“An’ no hassles. That’s all I want, no hassles,” Darren finished softly, his voice trailing off. As if sensing someone behind them, Darren and Tyler turned around ever so slowly, waiting and expecting to be arrested, if not worse.

They watched in fascination as a hulking cop waddled up to them. Darren and Tyler fell silent and slowly sipped their drinks. As he did so, Darren looked down at the cop’s gun. It was maybe six inches from his hand.

Slowly, he reached over and undid the safety latch on the cop’s holster. Tyler’s eyes filled with fear as he gazed on. The waiter walked over, completely oblivious as to what was going on.

“Can I get you any—“

Just then, Darren yanked the gun out of the holster. The cop spun around and Darren retreated.

“Hey! Hey!” The cop yelled in annoyance.

Darren merely smiled in response as the cop charged him. Tyler snickered. Then Darren tossed the gun over the cop’s head. Luckily Tyler caught it, but now the cop was after Tyler.

The two laughed as they tossed the gun back and forth just over the frustrated cop’s head. And then it happened. The cop slipped and fell on his ass…

“Hey!” Tyler snapped back to reality. He butted Darren in the arm causing Darren to look up at the four people who were now staring at him.

“Huh?” Darren asked in confusion. Michael sighed in frustration. He didn’t even know what was going on- how could Liz even consider dating him?

“I said it’s rude to stare,” Isabel snapped angrily. She knew exactly who he was- Liz’s new boyfriend and the biggest junkie in Roswell.

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Darren apologized. It was obvious that he was confused about his surroundings, but Tyler didn’t seem to notice. And it didn’t stop Tyler and Darren from continuing to stare at the four people in front of them.

A moment later Darren’s eyes grew wide as realization dawned on him.

“Michael? Shit, what’s up?” Darren asked. He didn’t dare get up, he was too lazy and too strung out.

“You know him?” Max asked. He did seem familiar, but Max knew that he had never associated with him before, thus he didn’t know him.

“Uh, yeah, hey Darren. Nothing much, what about you?” Michael asked. It was obvious that he was uncomfortable talking to the two with Isabel, Tess and Max around, but he couldn’t just ignore him.

“Ah, nothin’. Oh, but hey would you mind takin’ Liz’s shift, she’s not feeling real well,” Darren lied. He heard Tyler snicker and he almost broke as well. The truth was that Liz was back at his house passed out on his bed. She hadn’t gone home for three days now and he knew that her dad was out to kill him. If she went home it was likely he would never see her again.

“Liz? Is she sick?” Max asked. He had perked up almost instantly as soon as Liz had been mentioned. He wondered how Darren knew Liz. She was never one to associate with Darren or even Tyler, but then Max guessed with Alex’s death and Maria’s grieving, Liz really didn’t have anyone.

“Sick? Yeah, that’s it, she’s sick,” Tyler laughed. But before he could say anything else, Darren yanked on his arm, pulling him off his stool.

“Yeah, she’s real sick, so we should probably get back and take care of her. And, uh, thanks, Mikey,” Darren said as he and Tyler stumbled away. For a moment the group watched as the two carefully made their way across the street to their car. But they turned and continued walking as soon as they heard the engine roar to life.

“What was the deal about all of that?” Max asked curiously. He hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Liz since Alex’s death, except for her small outburst at Alex’s house where she had insisted that Alex’s death was actually a murder. But then, she had disappeared.

“No, we are not changing the subject yet. You and Tess have a lot of explaining,” Michael insisted as he gave Max and Tess one of his best glowers.


Part 2

One week earlier…

Gazing straight up at the building with sharp eyes, Liz fought the need to giggle. The new owner hadn’t changed the MetaChem lab center very much, and while she had never found the building all that funny before it suddenly seemed hilarious. With it’s stupid white and neon green lights Liz couldn’t help but laugh. That, and it was so tall- almost twenty stories.

So entranced by the building in front of her, Liz never even noticed Darren walk up behind her. But she shivered in anticipation as she felt his lips connect with her neck and his arms wrap around her waist.

Moving forward, Darren and Liz slyly made their way into the MetaChem lab through the back door. Once inside they stealthily worked their way around until they reached the elevator, which they waited for around the corner. They couldn’t get caught- not yet.

In the elevator a black and white video camera followed the couple in. The security camera watched Darren and Liz jump around as they headed up. None of the guards noticed them as they were all playing cards and drinking Snapple. Among those was none other then Michael Guerin.

As soon as the elevator reached the top floor, Darren dipped his head out of the open doors. He searched the hall, making sure that no one was around and to be sure that no one was coming. Once he was positive that it was all clear, Darren grabbed Liz and they dashed to the door of the stairwell.

Both stopped mid-stride as they saw the big, red, bold warning on the emergency exit rood door threatening that an alarm would go off if the door were to be opened.

“What do we do now?” Liz asked disappointedly.

In response to her question Darren pulled out a wire from his back pocket and after a few seconds shorted out the alarm. And in the next moment he kicked the roof door, causing it to fling open. White light rushed in, ensconcing Liz, Darren and the hall.


Nancy picked up a framed photo and gazed at it longingly. The picture had been taken a year ago. Liz was in the middle with a young Jeff hovering over Liz’s left shoulder. On Liz’s right was a younger-looking Nancy. They both looked younger and healthier.

“Where did we go wrong?” Nancy whispered as she fingered the picture, dragging to fingers over her daughters face.

“We didn’t do anything wrong- Liz is just mourning,” Jeff insisted half-heartedly.

“She’s been gone for a week now. This is the longest she’s ever stayed over at Darren’s house,” Nancy retorted in exasperation.

“Darren? She told me she was at Maria’s. Who is Darren?” Jeff asked angrily. Now his daughter was lying to him? He understood her need to be with Maria so as to grieve over the loss of their best friend. But if she was staying at some guy’s house then that was unacceptable.

“You met Darren- he brought her home the night that Alex died. Remember?” Nancy queried. Almost instantly Jeff straightened as he remembered that night and the young man whom had returned his daughter.

“He’s a junkie Nancy! Tell me you didn’t agree to let Liz stay over?” Jeff snapped angrily. Nancy retreated from her husband in shock. She had never seen him so angry. And she didn’t know what he was talking about Darren being a junkie. When she had met him he had been a respectable young man. And she was glad that someone was taking care of her daughter. When his wife didn’t answer, Jeff turned crimson red from his anger. “For god sakes, Nancy- Darren is not that type of person Liz should be around right now. God knows what he’s got her on,” Jeff fumed.

“No, he wouldn’t do that. Darren is a very nice young man; he’s just taking care of her as any good boyfriend should,” Nancy insisted. But the seed of doubt was already planted. Was Darren just pumping their daughter with drugs?

“Oh Jesus, he’s her boyfriend now?”


Darren and Liz threw paper airplanes down on the dying streets of Roswell.

“… but why you so hard on your folks? They love you and provide everything for you,” Darren asked. He momentarily stopped throwing one of the many paper airplanes he had made.

“They bug me,” Liz whispered as she continued to throw airplanes. “And they’re fucking hypocrites.”

In response Darren merely shrugged as though it were no big deal. This only spurred Liz on.

“Like they’re in that nice apartment with all their cars and money. They pay me off so they don’t have to deal with me,” Liz finished lamely. It was true, to a varying degree. But the truth was that she had grown up and her parents weren’t ready to accept that yet.

“You know what you gotta do,” Darren chuckled softly. He stopped throwing his airplanes and came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“Yeah,” Liz mumbled.

“You gotta get away from them,” Darren whispered in her ear. His breath caressed her skin like a thick velvet blanket being dragged over it.


“What about Harvard? Maybe you could apply now. Get in and just go,” Darren suggested. He gazed down at her from his vantage point and smiled. She was so beautiful and smart sometimes he didn’t understand how she could actually be with him.

“I can’t,” Liz whispered remorsefully.


“Cause then I wouldn’t be able to see you!” A smile broke out over Darren’s face and he whirled Liz around, capturing her lips in a heated kiss. Her arms draped around his neck and she smiled against his lips when they broke apart, their breath mingling as they gazed into each other’s eyes.

“Come on, let’s go!” Darren said as he pulled away and drug Liz across the roof, back to the stairwell. As soon as they were down the stairs, Darren continued towards the elevator, but stopped when he felt Liz pull away. Turning back to see what she was doing he watched in fascination as she grabbed his short-circuit wire. Darren, who was already next to the elevators looked at his girlfriend’s mischievous eyes.

“Liz!” Finally Darren understood. He smiled. Liz yanked the wire.

Almost immediately the alarm screamed to life. Darren and Liz bolted towards the elevators. They watched as the two elevators raced up to the top floor.

“They’re coming,” Liz said excitedly. Darren grabbed Liz’s hand and pulled her down the hallway. Luckily it was a dead end. They squeezed against the doorway, fighting the urge to crack up.

Both listened carefully as the ping of the elevator sounded throughout the hall. They watched as five security guards charged out. Darren and Liz held their breaths, praying that no one would find them. They watched the guards’ head straight for the staircase. That was when Darren and Liz made their move.

Back in the security room, Michael watched the sets carefully, searching for anyone who might have pulled the alarm or set it off. His eyes came to a sudden halt as he caught sight of Liz and some guy inside one of the elevators. They were making out.

He watched in fascination as the guy pinned Liz to the wall, his mouth traveling down the column of her throat as his hands pushed her skirt up her thighs. One of her legs was wrapped around his own and her skirt was dangerously close to revealing much more then Michael wanted to see.

But he continued to watch. Never before had he seen Liz act out in this manner. He hadn’t even known that she had a boyfriend. Then again he hadn’t seen much of Liz since Alex’s death. And since Max and Tess were going out Michael guessed that it was only right for Liz to be dating as well.

But who was this guy? And…

His pants were falling down. Michael nearly fell out of his chair as he watched Liz maneuver the guy’s pants so that they were barely even hanging on. And her skirt, it was way past what Michael needed to see of Elizabeth Parker. They had 18 floors to go and it was a slow elevator.

What would he tell Max? What would he tell Maria? Neither of those questions really phased Michael as he could only think one thing.

Thank god there was no sound.

[ edited 12time(s), last at 16-Feb-2002 10:57:35 PM ]
posted on 22-Jan-2002 5:50:38 PM
Part 3

The bright summer sun shot through the window and streamed across Darren’s living room floor until it slowed and fell upon Darren and Liz.

They were asleep, fully dressed in each other’s arms.

The racing sounds of the outside midday summer traffic dissipated and they were alone in a vacuum of melodious heartbeats and deep breaths.

A few hours later found Liz straightening up the kitchen. Darren was listening to some music on his portable CD player. And Tyler was playing with a pencil.

“Anybody wanna waste some time?” Liz asked as she pulled out three orange pills.


Darren and Tyler shrugged before grabbing one. Neither knew where Liz had scored the stuff but they didn’t care. All they cared about was the fact that they had stuff.

In a time span of three hours, Darren, Liz and Tyler weren’t quite sure what happened. They knew they had been hanging out, had had a party, and that at some point Liz and Darren had gone at it, but other then that they weren’t too sure. It seemed normal, it not slightly slowed down speed, but somehow three hours had passed.

Thus a waste of time.

“I’m starving,” Tyler groaned. His stomach rumbled causing Liz and Darren to laugh.

“Yeah, me too. Get me a candy bar,” Darren grumbled.

“Damn, Darren, don’t you eat anything except candy?” Tyler asked. He fought against his need to remain laid back and pushed himself up so he could see his friend.

“Yeah, ice cream. Ah digs ice cream,” Darren laughed. His of course caught Liz’s attention as she was resting her head on his chest and could feel the rumble of his upper body as he spoke and laughed.

“You sure as hell don’t know anything about eating, man,” Liz said softly. She ran a finger over her boyfriend’s abs, feeling every crevice as she went. He was ripped- even more so then Max- and she loved feeling his body. Sometimes she would lay in bed and simply touch him. Other times he would touch her.

“What you need is some good noodle soup,” Tyler insisted a moment later. He averted his eyes from the show Liz and Darren were putting on. As much as he loved watching porno, he didn’t like watching his friend and girlfriend.

“Shit, candy or ice cream will take care of anything,” Darren argued.

“And maybe some bread,” Tyler added a moment later.

“Exactly,” Darren agreed. “Mel told me about a job—“

Almost instantaneously Darren had Tyler’s attention. He watched as Tyler sat up straight, rolled and joint and prepared to listen, intently. All the while Liz extracted herself from Darren, got up and lit some candles.

“A job! Ha!” Tyler laughed.

“What? You lose a bet?” Liz teased. When her eyes met with Darren’s she smiled and winked, letting him know she was only joking. Tyler giggled as well.

“Damn you’ve got one righteous chick,” Tyler joked.

“No, really, Liz we got this idea. Tyler has this connection, Brody, with some dynamite shit. If we can get some cash together we can get a piece, cut it up and make a fortune,” Darren explained to Liz. Tyler and Liz listened carefully, both trying to gauge whether or not they understood. Even though Tyler knew about the deal, he still wasn’t sure he understood.

“Then we could get a pound of pure and retire,” Tyler added a moment later.

“We’d get off hard knocks and be on easy street,” Darren insisted as he grabbed Liz and plopped her down into his lap. He smiled as she cuddled up against him, her arms wrapping around his neck and her lips connecting with his momentarily. “You- no we- we could go to Harvard.”

A million thoughts whirled through Liz’s mind. The clock on the kitchen wall spun around like never before as she stared at it, trying to comprehend what Darren had just told her.

Suddenly, the racing kitchen clock stopped.

“What’s the catch?” Liz asked.


“So how long have you known about Liz and Darren?” Max asked. He and Michael sat in the Crashdown sharing a basket of fries. This was the first time they had really sat down and talked. Since Max had dropped the bombshell about he and Tess and their coming baby, Michael and Isabel had abandoned Max so that they could think.

Now everything seemed to be coming together.

“Uh, not long- found out about a week ago,” Michael said uncomfortably. How was he supposed to tell Max that he found out about Liz and Darren by catching them having sex in the elevator at MetaChem labs. Beside it wasn’t exactly what Michael wanted to be talking or thinking about. “But, uh, enough about that, what about you and Tess?”

“Oh, we’re trying to figure out a way to get back home- you know, home,” Max said distractedly. He was still trying to come to terms with how Liz and Darren could be going out. Darren wasn’t exactly the best guy in the world: never really went to school, did drugs, was disrespectful, and always seemed to have a girl on his arm. Definitely not Liz’s type. “But how did they meet?”

“Who?” Michael asked. But then the answer dawned on him. “Oh, Liz and Darren, I don’t know,” Michael lied. “How do you expect to get back home?”

“Drive, I guess. Thought maybe I’d pay Liz a visit and see what’s up with her,” Max said thoughtfully. He hadn’t seen Liz since he had blown up at Liz during Alex’s funeral reception. He wondered if she had found out anything or if she had given up on her search to find out the supposed truth.

“No, Maxwell, home-home,” Michael said through clenched teeth.

“Oh! We don’t know,” Max said dismissively. “So you really don’t know how they met?”

“For god sakes Max, just accept it. Liz and Darren are going out and you and Tess are going out- you’re having a baby with Tess. Liz should be of no concern to you,” Michael argued angrily.

“Right, right… Liz and Darren are going out- I understand. I just want to know how they met, you know, seeing as Darren really doesn’t seem like Liz’s type.”

“Oh, Jesus,” Michael grumbled. But with one look Michael knew that they wouldn’t accomplish anything until Max knew. “Fine, Max, you wanna know? Darren saw her that night that you tried to bring Alex back to life. He walked her back, they started talking, she stayed at his place for the night, and then they started gong out- at least that’s what Liz told me.”

“When did Liz start telling you things?” Max asked curiously. Liz and Michael had never been friends. And this story Michael was telling him did not bode well with Max. Darren just happened to stroll by and see Liz? It didn’t sound right.

“Since I caught them having sex!” The minute the words left his mouth Michael knew he had made the biggest mistake of his life. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples with his hand. He couldn’t believe he had just blown up at Max and said that. “Look Max, I’m—“

“What? They’re uh, they’re—“

“Yes, they’re having sex.”


It was dawn. Darren’s chest continued to heave as he braced his elbows next to Liz’s head and lifted his naked body away from hers. Every pant that escaped his mouth hit Liz’s skin like a scolding hot brick wall. They were completely wrapped up in each other.

Dipping his head, Darren pressed kisses to her shoulder, next her neck where he had marked her only a few hours ago, and finally on her mouth. His hands tangled in her silky tresses as he gazed into her doe eyes.

In response Liz wrapped her arms under his arms, keeping him close while her legs wrapped around his hips.

“You know something?” Darren asked quietly. Liz waited with baited breath. He stared down at his girlfriend and smiled as the light splayed over her, making it look like a halo encompassed her. “I’ve always thought you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

“Really?” Liz choked out. A lump formed in her throat as tears threatened to spill down her cheeks. Darren shook his head in agreement. His fingers caressed her stomach, dipping into her navel as he passed it.

“Since the first time I met you,” Darren insisted. He pressed a kiss to the corner of her lips and smiled as he felt her kiss him back. She pushed herself up slightly and rested most of her weight on her elbow while her fingers roamed his face, touching every crevice until finally reaching his lips.

“That’s nice, Darren. That really makes me feel good,” Liz commented a moment later as she let his words sink in. He moved his hand up and let it roam her face, but coming to stop as he gently ran his knuckles down her cheek and back up to her ears. He liked her ears. They were cute and fit her well.

“Good for your ego, eh?” Darren teased. She drug her finger down his face to his nipples, which she playfully teased.

“Well, I can’t say that it does it any harm, but that’s not what I mean,” Liz responded. She paused and tried to think of a way to tell him what she did mean. Finally she was able to figured out a way to convey her feelings. “It makes me feel good all over, like… well, you know lots of people tell me that and it’s meaningless, completely meaningless.”

“You mean because you think they’re putting you on?” Darren asked. He ran his fingers up her arm, feeling her shiver in anticipation while goose bumps formed on her delicate skin.

“No, no, nothing like that. I don’t know or care if they are. I guess maybe they really mean it, but from them it just doesn’t mean anything to me,” Liz explained carefully. She stopped and looked thoughtful for a moment before continuing. “Like Max. He would tell me that I was beautiful, and it was nice to hear it, but I didn’t believe him. But when you say it, I hear it. You know what I mean? I really hear it.”

For a minute Darren reflected on Liz’s words. She didn’t mention her ex-boyfriend very often, but when she did it was usually to tell him how great Max was. To hear about Max in the lime light really let Darren know that Liz was finally getting over her ex.

“Yeah well you know what?” Darren asked. He waited until Liz shook her head. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his collarbone; letting her eyelids flutter shut and fan against his skin. “Someone like you could really make it alright for me.”

“You think?” Liz asked.

“Yeah. And I’ve been thinking…” Darren let his voice drift off, causing Liz’s interest to be sparked. For a moment Darren looked at Liz. He waited a beat, trying to work up his courage. Once he got his courage he jumped out of bed.

“Here,” Darren insisted. He pulled Liz and she laughed as he did so.

“What?” Liz asked, still fighting her laughter.

Five minutes later found Darren in a shirt standing over Liz who was wrapped up in a sheet. They were leaned over a folder on the kitchen table.

“What is it?” Liz asked curiously.

“You remember when I told you about going to Harvard?” Darren asked. Again he didn’t wait until Liz nodded her head. “Well, I’ve been thinking about it. I put together some numbers and it’s not impossible. I think you can do it,” Darren insisted eagerly. When he saw the frown appear on her face he quickly fixed his words. “No, I mean, we should do it. We can do it together.”

“How long have you been thinking about this?” Liz asked. She was still in shock and couldn’t believe that Darren had done all of this for her.

“Not too long. Since we started hanging out,” Darren laughed. All the while Liz stared down at the folder, thinking.

“It’s a great idea,” Liz sighed dreamily.

“Yeah?” Darren asked earnestly. The idea that he had done something right and good for Liz made his heart swell.

“It is,” Liz agreed. She turned and smiled up at him. “Let’s do it! Let’s go to Harvard,” Liz said eagerly. “How do we start?”

“Well, first me and Tyler gotta get money for the piece and then—“

“I’ll get it,” Liz interrupted.

“Nah,” Darren argued. He didn’t want Liz to do this; he wanted to do it for her.

“No, I can,” Liz assured.

“Really? How?’ Darren asked, intrigued.

“How do you think? My fucking parents and friends,” Liz laughed, as did Darren. And soon they found themselves hugging and kissing. But suddenly Darren pulled his face back a few inches from Liz.

“I think I’m falling in love with you,” Darren whispered adoringly.

“Think?” Liz asked in protest, though Darren could sense the teasing tone as well. And in response he pulled Liz closer, kissing the tip of her nose, then her eyelids, then her cheeks and her soft lips, her chin, her neck and lastly her ear lobes.

“Liz, Liz, I love you,” Darren whispered in her ear.


Part 4

The kitchen clock ticked at its usual pace as the Parker’s sat down at the table for breakfast. They had yet to hear from Liz and it was now going on a week and a half. Jeff and Nancy sat rigidly at the table as their stared at each of their breakfasts.

Nancy was having a simplistic breakfast: one hard-boiled egg, half a grapefruit and a cup of coffee. Since Liz had taken residence at her boyfriends Nancy had lost her appetite. She constantly worried about her daughter and how she was. Between Alex’s death and her daughter’s disappearance Nancy had lost a lot of weight and was quickly losing her sanity as well.

Jeff watched as Nancy tried to force-feed herself. He too had lost his appetite. There were dark circles under his eyes and he hadn’t shaven in days. The stack of pancakes in front of him had yet to be touched and they would more then likely be thrown away, along with his hash browns and cup of coffee. He didn’t even care about trying to force-feed himself.

Everything was falling apart.

And both just wanted their daughter back.

They watched one another and then the clock and then their wristwatches. The kitchen clock seemed to move overly slow, as did their watches. They watched the others eyes, lips, and twitching fingers, which drummed against the tabletop.

They needed their daughter back.


Liz threw some cold water on her face. She looked at her naked body in the mirror. She felt lifeless, drab and dead.

Dead. That was exactly what her ex-best friend Alex Whitman was. She missed him. But luckily Darren and Tyler took away some of that pain in her heart. And Darren filled the void which Max Evans’ had left.

However, there was one thing that filled that void and pain much better then anything else.

The tinfoil crinkled. Powder was sprinkled. A light flicked. Smoke drifted through the small bathroom. A straw sucked. And a pleasure sigh filled the room.

Once again Liz looked in the mirror. A smile formed on her lips as everything took effect.

She looked alive and glorious. Rays of golden light encased her body in a gentle glow.

For the first time in minutes she was happy again.


The football field was completely barren, leaving it to be occupied by Max, Isabel, Michael, Kyle, Maria and Tess.


“I haven’t seen her, otherwise I would have told her to come,” Maria said, cutting Max off before he could even finish his sentence. She sighed as Michael collected her into his arms. All of this was hard on her. First she lost Alex and now she was losing Liz as well.

No one had seen Liz for days. She didn’t go to school anymore and she was never at the Crashdown. The group also hadn’t seen hid nor hair of Darren or Tyler. Michael had sought out the two when Maria had cried out that she needed Liz. After searching for three hours Michael had come back empty handed.

“Everyone I’ve talked to says they haven’t seen Darren or Tyler around, but not to worry cause they dot his sometimes,” Kyle added. He too had been looking for Liz. The Parker’s had come asking if he knew where she was, but as everyone else, Kyle knew nothing.

“It doesn’t matter, we’ll just tell her later,” Max sighed angrily. Tess, who stood beside him, clung to Max, making sure that she was always near him.

“So what’s going on?” Isabel asked.

“We think we found a way home,” Max stated. He watched as Michael and Isabel took in his latest revelation. They shook their heads in disbelief, unsure if they had even heard Max correctly. Next they looked at Max and Tess before they took a step backwards, making sure that Maria and Kyle followed suit.

“Why?” Michael whispered. This wasn’t happening. He wasn’t going to leave earth, especially after he had finally found his calling and his true love.

“To save our son, Michael. Jeez, we’ve already had this conversation. I would think that you would remember,” Max scolded. He ran his free hand through his hair while trying to control his anger. Sometimes he got so angry with Michael and Isabel that he couldn’t think straight. “If this is right and we have a way back, then pack your things cause we’re going home.”


Liz knocked on the Valenti’s door. Standing by her side was Darren, his hand holding hers. They waited patiently, only to be greeted by Tess.

“Liz,” Tess said, somewhat taken aback by her presence. No one had seen her for almost a week and now she was standing right in front of her. She guessed that the guy beside her was Darren- Liz’s latest boyfriend. ‘Not bad’ Tess thought as she stared at him. But he was too skinny.

“Hi Tess,” Liz smiled, a genuine smile, and her eyes lit up as she said hello to girl in front of her.

“So, are you here about me and Max?” Tess asked smugly. But the smug smile dropped from Tess’ lips when her comment didn’t even faze Liz. Instead Liz merely stared at her blankly. For a moment Tess didn’t know what to think, but then she saw it. And suddenly everything made sense.

The perfect Liz Parker was a junkie.

“Uh, no,” Liz shook her head slightly as she tried to think of a reason as to why she would be at the Valenti home to talk with Tess about Max. Why would she even want to talk to Tess about Max? “I-uh, actually I wanted to talk to Kyle.”

“Oh, sure,” Tess said. She was still curious as to how Liz had become some druggie, but she figured that she’d figure it out later. First she wanted to know what Liz needed to see Kyle about. “Do you mind if I ask why?”

“Um, I just um, you know I have a favor to ask,” Liz stammered, though her words were fairly fluent. Her voice was soft and subdued. And Darren had hardly even moved.

“What kind of favor?” Tess pressed on. Maybe this would help in answering some of her questions.

“You know, um, about, well, about money. But um, like…”

“Hey, your door’s…” Max cut himself off mid-sentence as he found Liz with Tess- something he was very unhappy about. He glared at Liz, wondering what had brought her out of the world she had buried herself in. That’s when he caught site of Darren.

Max sized Liz’s new boyfriend up. He didn’t understand why she would sleep with Darren, but not himself. What did Darren have that he didn’t? What had attracted Liz to Darren and not to him? But Max already knew the answer.

Darren was human.

“What are you doing here?” Max spat out. He quickly moved to Tess’ side and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her as close to him as he could.

“Um, nothing, you know, we were just…” Liz didn’t know what to say. She stared at Max blankly, trying her best to concentrate. Normally when she was this strung out she didn’t leave the apartment, but they needed money and right now she felt pretty damn good. “We’re talking. But, we should go.”

“Talking about what?” Max asked angrily. Darren glared at Max. He was angry that Max still held a grudge over Liz and wasn’t willing to just let go. But then Darren wondered if he would let go of Liz if she ever decided to leave him.

“Nothing,” Liz drawled. Her eyes snapped closed and open as she tried to think. Her high was wearing off and suddenly she didn’t feel so great.

“Max, you know, it’s ok. Just forget about it,” Tess insisted. She didn’t like the way Liz was swaying or the way Darren looked as though he was ready to kill. If he was as big of a druggie as everyone played him off to be than he probably had a knife or gun and could easily kill any of them. She did not need Max being killed, yet.

“No, I wanna know,” Max snapped.

“We’ll just talk later. Tess, tell Kyle we stopped by,” Darren answered for Liz. He could see that Max was getting to her.

“No, please don’t go on my account. Go head and ask your questions,” Max growled. Again he found himself sizing up Darren and wondering if he could take him. He could see the muscles hiding under his shirt and though he looked skinny, Max guessed that he was probably a lot stronger then he looked.

“Max, she just had some questions for Kyle about money, that’s all,” Tess assured. She could see that a fight was about to break out. And if she wasn’t careful then everything would be ruined.

“Oh, money. Really? I figured you were probably here because you had a new theory,” Max snapped. He inched closer to Liz, a fire burning in his eyes that Tess had never seen before. Something was horribly wrong.

“Theory?” Liz asked in confusion. Darren watched on, ready to defend his girlfriend from her jackass of an ex-boyfriend. How she had ever thought this guy was sweet was beyond Darren.

“Yeah, about Alex’s death. Like maybe you thought Tess killed Alex,” Max snarled.

“Alex?” Tear pooled in Liz’s eyes as memories of Alex sifted through her dazed mind. “No,” Liz whispered as her drug-hazed mind gave way to its downward spiral.

“Max she didn’t come here about that. And she never said that,” Tess tried to calm Max down, but it didn’t look as though that was about to happen.

“No, but that’s what she’s thinking. So why don’t you just ask it!” Max yelled directly in Liz’s face. And that was the breaking point.

“Shut the fuck up!” Darren snarled. And in the next moment Max found himself lying on the ground, his nose bleeding and his eyes hurting. “Never talk to my girlfriend in that manner again, otherwise I’ll fucking beat you to death,” Darren breathed out. His voice was low and dangerous, leaving no stray thoughts about what Darren would do if Max ever over reacted again.

“What’s going on?” Kyle asked in aggravation as he came out into the living room. He stared at Max’s body which was sprawled out on the floor, and then at the three remaining bodies in the room. Tess stood staring down at Max’s body. Beside her was none other then Liz Parker. “Liz?”

She clung to Darren; her body was shaking as tears coursed down her cheeks. Never had Kyle seen her as vulnerable as she looked at that moment. She was skinnier then he had ever seen- she had to be less than a hundred pounds- and her whole body was shaking.

“Is everything ok?” Kyle asked as he came over to Liz’s side.

“Everything’s fine,” Darren snapped. He glared down at Max, his eyes conveying just how much hatred he felt for him.

“Yeah, everything’s fine, Kyle,” Tess assured.

posted on 22-Jan-2002 5:52:13 PM

Part 5

Tyler was on the phone with Brody. Darren sat at the table counting twenties into a small, neat pile. He stopped mid-count and glanced over at Liz, who was resting fitfully on his bed.

“Dynamite? Dynamite. Dynamite?” Darren watched his friendly carefully for a minute while listening to his end of the conversation. “Alright, we’s on the way.” Tyler hung up the phone and a smile graced his face.

“Brody’s man says its real fine shit,” Tyler announced.

“Alright! Here we go,” Darren smiled as he once again glanced over towards Liz. She looked so beautiful when she was sleeping, even with her tears and mascara masking her face.

“Here we go,” Tyler agreed eagerly. He watched his friend and then turned his gaze to Liz. When he turned back to look at Darren, he found a very somber man in front of him.

“Let’s do this right,” Darren instructed seriously.

“Naturally,” Tyler insisted before he took the money and slapped Darren five.

Left alone, Darren began trying to amuse himself. He listened to some music, rolled a joint, sparked it and took a few tokes. Soon he started grooving with the music as his nervousness dissolved.

He thought about the past few days. For the first time in his life he had resorted to violence. Sure it had been to protect Liz from her dick of an ex-boyfriend, but Darren still didn’t agree with it.

Thinking about Max and the way he had treated Liz made Darren uncomfortable. Suddenly he felt as though something were off. Darren felt it deep in his heart. Something was wrong. He stopped his CD player.

Suddenly it was a sunny day in Darren’s bedroom. The back wall was gone and in its place was a stretching sea.

Strolling with a baby carriage was a woman in a red dress.


Darren watched her from his apartment. He called for her, but she continued on her way. This of course prompted Darren to start chasing after her.

He was trying to catch a glimpse into the carriage. He was trying to catch Liz’s attention. He was trying to catch Liz.

Finally Liz heard him and she spun around. She smiled and waved.

She reached into the carriage to pick something up, but all the while kept her eyes locked with Darren’s. He was almost with her. But he kept running.

And just as he was about to get a peek, he stopped. He heard a key in the lock.

Darren spun around, completely losing track of Liz and what he had been seeing.

The slamming of the door jolted Darren from his stupor. He spun around and gazed at the door, watching as Tyler entered the room with a big-add, shit-eatin’ grin on his face. Tyler walked over towards Darren and dropped a little package on the table.

“There it is,” Tyler said excitedly.

“Huh?” Darren asked in a daze. He was still getting over what he had just seen.

“I said, there it is!” Tyler said in exasperation. He gasped as his friend continued to look at him as though he were some stranger. But then Darren snapped out of it and looked at the package. “Shall we try?”

“Wait Tyler. This is our chance to make it big and I mean really big. Besides, I need to get Liz oughta here,” Darren explained. “Now we don’t have to be dealin’ in no petty-ass pieces all our lives. We play it right an’ we can get a pound of pure, but if we get wasted we’ll fuck it up.”

“Right, on, baby, ahm not jivin' you. Ah doan' want to be runnin' no streets the res' of mah life in no ripped sneakers, mah nose runnin' down to mah chin,” Tyler agreed. “All we gotta do is have a little taste so we know how much to cut it,” Tyler explained.

“Ah, fair enough,” Darren quickly agreed.

Palms slapped, then there was a flick, sizzle, snap, suck, slap, rush, and two very happy sighs. Tyler and Darren looked at each other with flushed faces and hanging heads. They grinned at each other.

“Shit…” Tyler groaned with only a mere nod of agreement by Darren. And soon time found both Darren and Tyler laughing at absolutely nothing.


Liz sat in the park in front of the Crashdown watching the crowds walk in and out. Her eyes were once again blank as she stared at the building in wonder.

For four weeks she had stayed at Darren’s house. She hadn’t even spoken with her parents since she had last left.

Unpacking her belongings in the bag next to her, Liz pulled out a few sketchpads, pencils, charcoal and a sharpener.

She stared at the blank page, feeling as blank as it looked. A moment later, unable to stand its blandness, she began to sketch.

She had never really been into drawing before, but as she had started living with Darren she had found that she had a real knack for it. Darren brought out a side of her that she had never known before. Only he didn’t repress one side or the other, he wanted everything. He wanted her to complete herself before he would enter the picture.

And so that was how it had been, at first. At first they had been friends as Liz sought herself out. But then, with time, they had found each other, and their love for the other.

“Liz?” The voice drifted in and out of her mind and Liz wasn’t sure it was even real. Instead of turning to see if it was real, Liz continued to sketch away on her pad, trying to ignore the voice that was bothering her.

Watching from a few feet away, Michael sucked in a deep breath. She was skinnier then ever before, maybe eighty pounds, if that. Her hair had grown out, reaching the middle of her back, and she looked genuinely happy.

If only she would talk to her parents. Everyday Michael would talk with the Parker’s trying his best to cheer them up. A lot of times Maria and Kyle would come with him. They had actually started to ritual. They would tell the Parker’s everything they knew, which wasn’t much. And it was starting to pay off.

Jeff was starting to live again.

But Nancy was worse then ever. She didn’t eat. She didn’t sleep. She was doing uppers and downers and in-betweeners. She was almost as bad as Liz.


Liz was always strung out, and with Darren. This was the first time Michael, or anyone, had seen Liz without Darren or Tyler. Usually it was the three, like the three Musketeers, only these three were constantly fucked up. These three Musketeers were nothing like Maria, Liz and Alex.

It was no secret to Michael or anyone else that Liz was a heroine addict. The tracks on her arms had been spotted by Tess. The weight loss had been noticed by everyone. Hanging around with Darren and Tyler- the resident smack dealers- was the dead give away. And her blank stare was the final clue.

“Liz?” Michael called out again. He wasn’t about to go over. If she wasn’t willing to acknowledge him then that was her own prerogative. But he wasn’t going to beg her for her attention.

When she didn’t answer Michael merely shook his head in shame. What had turned the perfect Liz Parker into this shadow of herself? What had made her what she was today? These and other questions ran through Michael’s mind as he backed away from Liz and the world she was lost in.

He fleetingly wondered if Darren and Tyler were merely replacements for Maria and Alex, but Michael knew better. Liz wouldn’t do that. Besides, he had seen the way Darren and Liz looked at each other. They were in love.

“Bye Liz,” Michael whispered.

Shutting her eyes to fight off the offending voice, Liz tried her hardest to concentrate. Usually the voices didn’t come until the hit started wearing off. She had just had some scag less then ten minutes ago and the hit usually lasted longer. It always lasted longer. But today something was different.

Letting out a breath she wasn’t even aware she was holding, Liz sighed in relief as the voice stopped interrupting her. Hopefully it wouldn’t return because she really couldn’t stand it. She never could.

So I finished this fic and I'll be posting a new part a day, that is f you guys want me to... I will be working on She's the One and China Doll, but they're sorta slow right now...
posted on 23-Jan-2002 1:34:38 AM
Part 6

“Why do you have to see him for krist’s sakes?” Darren asked crossly. He lay on the bed looking hollow. “Just cut the son of a bitch loose.”

Standing just to the side of him, Liz continued to dress herself up in front of the mirror. She looked like a million bucks in a chic black dress, her hair a pile of curls- some dangling down- and a fresh face.

“It’s been over three months, Darren. My parents are really worried and by going out and doing this they’ll get off everyone’s back,” Liz insisted as she carefully applied her lipstick. “They’re probably pissed at me and if we’re not careful they’re going to cut me off,” Liz argued remorsefully. She hated fighting with Darren.

Turning from the bathroom mirror, Liz moved to Darren’s side and tenderly touched his face.

“Sweetheart, I am not going to sleep with him. He’s got a girlfriend,” Liz clarified, though she could see that her boyfriend was still disturbed by the thought of her going out with another man. “He’s just taking me out then he’ll go home and I’ll come home to you.”

Darren tried not to sulk, but his chin still dipped down slightly. Liz giggled but Darren didn’t respond. Suddenly she flung herself into his arms, hugging him while she squealed in absolute glee.

“Oh Darren, you’re jealous!” Liz squeaked. Darren half-heartedly tried to push her away, but Liz didn’t let him. “Come on, sweetheart, put your arms around me, come on, please!” Liz said playfully. But when he didn’t respond she tried again. “Please?”

She lifted his hands and put them on her shoulders as she snuggled deeper into him. Then she started kissing him on the ears, eyelids, and neck and soon he started to chuckle and respond. They tumbled around, their arms and legs tangling together as they fooled around.

“Come on, stop, stop you crazy girl, or I’ll bite you on the throat,” Darren threatened lamely. They both laughed as they tickled each other and covered each other in kisses.


A fancy French pretension was Liz’s latest scene. Two plates with various contents on both, two glasses- one with cherry coke the other water- and a stunning Liz with a mediocre Max.

“You look beautiful,” Max commented as he openly gawked at her. He hadn’t seen her in ages. But then he really didn’t remember all that much. All he knew was that Liz was supposedly shaking up at some guy’s apartment, at least according to Michael. Aside from that, she still looked stunning, though a little too skinny.

“Is Tess out of town or something?” Liz asked with a smirk. She felt great. And she wasn’t going to let Max get her down. Not now that her life was finally looking up.

Max nearly choked at Liz’s question. Had Maria not told her?

“Wh-why do you ask?” Max asked off-handedly, trying his best to play cool.

“I’m just curious. You seemed all gung-ho about her a while back, just wondering why you suddenly felt the need to call me up,” Liz queried as she took a bit of her food. She almost gagged on the food as it slid down her throat. She really wasn’t hungry. “Or is she ‘indisposed?’”

“Liz. Tess is gone.”

“What?” Liz stared at Max in shock. She was taken aback by his words, just as he was by hers. Both gazed at the other for a moment before breaking away and staring at their food or anything else. It was too painful to look at the other. Too much had come between them. And Liz was still bitter.

Bitter about every moment of pain Max had ever inflicted upon her. Darren had showed her heaven in a few mere months, but Max had broken her heart time after time for over a year.

“It all happened so fast, I hardly even remember all of it. But you were right Liz… you were right. Tess did kill Alex. And she duped me- all of us,” Max explained sorrowfully. To rehash the whole Tess incident was horrible, but to tell it to Liz, who didn’t even appear to care, hurt even worse. “She said she was pregnant- that we had had sex, but we didn- she wasn’t. It was all a trick to get us to go home- home, home; where we would be killed.”

As soon as he was finished talking, Max breathed a sigh of relief. It felt good to finally have all his cards out on the table. It felt good to tell Liz, as long as he didn’t look in her eyes. If he did he would see that she wasn’t even paying attention. And for that reason, Max continued to stare at the rest of her, or anything else.

“Can I ask you something personal, Max?” Liz asked. Her brow furrowed as she tried to keep a straight face.

“Wh-what is it?” Max stuttered. He still couldn’t get over how beautiful she was. A little too skinny, but Max guessed that was because she wasn’t living with her parents.

He leaned in, as did Liz. Both gazed into each other’s eyes and a cocky smile lit up Liz’s face.

“Oh, uh, Max, you have something in your teeth,” Liz whispered thoughtlessly, but that Cheshire grin remained on her lips.

“Here?” Max asked as he tried to get whatever it was out of his teeth. He scraped at his teeth with his finger while Liz’s eyes danced with laughter.

“No, over, uh. No… just-uh, don’t worry about it,” Liz sighed. He didn’t really have anything in his teeth. But Liz knew exactly what she was doing. She was fucking with him. And the beauty of it all was that he didn’t have the foggiest idea. And she tortured him until all she could do was laugh.


Sodium streetlights popped as Tyler stood by a beat-up bodega.

A black hand slapped Tyler money. The money slid into his pocket. Tyler’s eyes swished left then right. He slipped something out from behind the tire of a parked car. And slapped a bag of white powder back.

Pop, slap, slide, swish, slip, slap! Again.

And again.

And again.

All night long.


The neon light crackled as Darren chilled outside an OTB (off track betting place away from a track).

A white hand slapped Darren money. The money slipped into his pocket. Darren’s eyes swished right then left. He clinked something out of a trashcan. And he slapped a bag of white powder back.

Crackle, slap, slip, swish, clink, slap. Again.

And again.

And again.

All night long.


Darren spun Liz around, both smiling and laughing in glee.

“We’re on our way, baby! We’re really on our way,” Darren whooped out excitedly. He placed a chaste kiss on her lips before pulling away and smiling down at her.


“It was great out there,” Darren continued, dismissing Liz’s words completely. “Everyone’s thirsty.”

“I’m so glad,” Liz smiled up at her boyfriend. She was happy to see him this way as it didn’t happen often. “And baby, I got in. Harvard- I got in!”

For a moment Darren simply stared at Liz, unable to comprehend her words. But as they sank in a broad smile graced his lips. And soon he was laughing as he picked Liz back up and began spinning her around, again.

Finally he let her down. Darren and Liz leaned into each other, suddenly hugging each other, kissing, dreaming and believing.

Ok, so everything's finished for this one, seriously. It's 17 parts with part 17 being the epilogue. Hope you enjoy it...
posted on 24-Jan-2002 1:36:44 AM

Part 7

Dope was cut.

Plastic bags were filled.

Darren and Tyler dealed.

Liz worked through her scheduling making sure she had the correct classes.

Darren and Liz kissed.

Darren began spinning tunes.







Sighs of relief and happiness.

Darren and Tyler neatly stuffed a show box full of money. They put a rubber band around the voc and hit it in the back of the closet, making sure that it was well hidden.

They turned and Darren gave Tyler five, Tyler gave Darren five.


The arcade was fairly quiet, making it simple for Liz and Darren to talk as they played skeeball. Most other kids were in school, but Liz had all but dropped out. She had tested out and received her GED with no hassles. Darren, on the other, had failed out and was simply going along with Liz for the ride. Tyler was still in school- to some varying degree.

He grinned as Liz hit a fifty and smiled. Her laughter stopped him from playing.

She was a goddess and she was his.

“Yeah, that’s what I’ll do,” Darren commented a moment later. His words had come out of thin air, causing Liz to stare at him blankly.

“Huh?” Liz asked, confused.

“For my mom. I’ve been thinking of getting something for her, you know, some kind of present. But I didn’t know what to get,” Darren clarified. He chuckled as Liz broke out into a fit of giggles. She was so beautiful.

“Well?” Liz queried. She quarked an eyebrow and tapped her finger on her lip, mocking some journalist she had seen earlier.

“I finally asked myself, what’s her fix? You know?” Darren continued. He glanced at Liz nervously as he slipped beside her and wrapped his arms around her waist, forcing her into his embrace. He gazed down at her and smiled shakily. God he hoped this worked.

“You really love her, don’t you?” Liz whispered. It made her heart swell to know that Darren still thought of his parents.

“I don’t know. I guess so. One time I feel one way and the other time I feel something else. But most of the time I just want her to be happy,” Darren confided. He mentally slapped himself as he let himself get off track. “So I finally decided what I was gonna give her.”

“What?” Liz asked excitedly. She hadn’t met Darren’s mother and she grew giddy at the thought that she would finally meet her.

“Ever since I can remember she’s been buggin’ me about finding myself a girl and settling down. And she’s getting pretty old and…” Slowly pulling away from her, Darren slipped down onto one knee while pulling out a black velvet box. “And I found that girl.”

“Darren?” Liz could feel tears welling up in her eyes and she was pretty sure that her whole body was trembling. Never had she believed that someone would be proposing to her, least not in an arcade by the skeeball.

“I don’t think I love you anymore, “ Darren whispered. Liz’s mouth fell agape and she tried to tear herself away from him, but he held onto her. “No, I don’t think I love you anymore, I know I do. I don’t need to think anymore because I know I love you. Will you marry me Liz? Please?”



Time raced by as Nancy intricately cleaned every single square inch of her kitchen. She cleaned the inside of the fridge and dumped all the food.

The coffee machine trickled yet another fresh brew down into the pot.








Pill pop. Hit. Gulp. Snap…

Next she moved into the living room and continued to clean. She had been cleaning for four days, straight.

Suddenly everything slowed down.

Nancy collapsed onto the sofa in front of the television. She tried to watch but she was squirming too much in her seat.

Then she noticed something wrong. She wasn’t sure what, so she headed into the bathroom. In the bathroom she stared at her clenched teeth which were grinding. She wondered what it meant. She shrugged and took the green pill.





Returning to the living room, Nancy sat in front of the television. For a few minutes she watched whatever channel her husband had last been watching.

And slowly she dozed off.

I don't think anyone is really reading this, or they are and just aren't leaving feedback. So I think I'll just e-mail this to anyone who wants it instead of wasting board space.
posted on 25-Jan-2002 12:33:13 AM

Part 8

The yentas all rose as Debby came out. They moved their chairs so that she could have her proper seat in the sun.

“Debby, how are you?” One of the yentas asked.

“Are you feeling well?” Another yenta asked.

“Fine, fine,” Debby insisted as she fought to hide the grimace on her face as she sat down.

“Anything new?” Ada asked. She patted her friend on the shoulder and smiled up at her in hopes of hearing some good news. Any good news.

“Nothing yet,” Debby shook her head sadly. The yentas quieted down at Debby’s comment. But Debby was having a hard time sitting still. She looked up and down the street for the mailman. When she couldn’t take it anymore she got up and paced around her friends.


Darren squirmed in the back seat of the cab, wearing a sharp new pair of slacks, a sports shirt and a pair of new shoes.

He nervously patted down his hair and adjusted his collar.

Today was the day. Today he was going to fulfill his mother’s only wish.


Outside of Debby’s building, the old yentas admired Debby new slim figure. At least they did until the mailman approached. Everyone turned to him, hoping, praying, believing.

“Nothing for ya today Ms. Dunkin,” the mailman said as he grinned and shook his head. The group of women watched as he entered the building, not even noticing the cab that pulled up in front of them.

Darren stepped out and stared at the intimidating line of yentas. And when Debby turned around, she stared for a brief second, not computing the apparition before her.

However, the moment Debby and the yentas figured out who it was, pandemonium took place. They all ran towards Debby’s son. Debby wrapped her arms around him, almost knocking him off balance.

“Darren!” She kissed him and he kissed her. And she was so excited she kissed him again.

“Hey, take it easy, Ma! You’ll crush me,” Darren scolded. He gave her a quick smile as he adjusted his clothes.

“Come, come inside, Darren. I’ll make you a pot of coffee and we’ll have a visit,” Debby insisted. She grabbed his hand and headed to the entrance.


The old women watched as Nancy buzzed around the café. They had spoken with Jeff, inquiring what had happened. It was no secret that Liz had all but abandoned her family. Only, Nancy and Jeff hadn’t been the same since. They had lost their lust for life.

She never stopped. She would work all day. And everyone had noticed.

“Nancy, how are you feeling?” One of the women asked. She reached out and placed a gentle hand on Nancy’s trembling arm.

“Yes, how have you been feeling?” Another asked sweetly. They were regulars in the café and it was hard to see the Parker’s falling apart.

“Fine. I’m fine,” Nancy chided fitfully. She was having a hard time stopping what she was doing, but she liked the way she felt.

“Have you heard anything yet?” A women in the corner asked gently. She watched as Nancy’s eyes suddenly clouded over, making the women feel horrible for even mentioning anything.

“Nothing,” Nancy whispered before retracting her arm from the women’s hand and leaving.

Liz squirmed in the back seat of the cab, wearing a chic black dress and a pair of new shoes, much like that which she had worn when she had gone out with Max.

She nervously patted down her hair and adjusted her dress.

Today was the day. Today she was going to tell her parents about her engagement to Darren Dunkin.

A moment later the cab pulled up to the Crashdown.

Liz stepped out and stared at the intimidating home which she had left. She waited to see if she could see her parents, and when she did she merely gazed at them.

Four and half months. It had been so long.

And when Nancy turned around, she stared for a brief second, not computing the apparition before her.

However, the moment Nancy recognized her daughter, mayhem erupted. She ran towards Liz with tears in her eyes. Nancy wrapped her arms around her, almost knocking her off balance.

“Liz!” She kissed her and Liz kissed her mother in return. And Nancy was so excited she kissed Liz again.

“Hey, take it easy, Mom! You gonna crush me,” Liz reprimanded. She gave her a quick smile as she adjusted her clothes.

“Come, come inside, Liz. I’ll make you a pot of coffee and we’ll have a visit,” Nancy insisted. She grabbed her hand and headed to the entrance.


Nancy made a pot of coffee as she bustled around grabbing cups, saucers, spoons, milk and napkins. She wished her husband was home, but he was in the next town, picking up a few parts to fix the milk shake machine.

Liz stared wide-eyed at her hyperactive mother. She tried to get a word in, but couldn’t.

“And how are you, Liz- you’re looking good. You want something to eat?” Nancy queried. She zipped past Liz towards the refrigerator, throwing open the door only to find nothing in it.

“No, mo—“

“A little celery, maybe, or cake. I’ll go get some if you want, but I don’t have anything in the house, but the café would have something, a cupcake or pie, maybe,” Nancy babbled as she continued to rush around the kitchen.


Finally the coffee was ready and Nancy quickly filled to cups.

“You want something to eat?” Nancy asked again.

“No, mom! Nothing. Sit…”


“… sit for krist’s sakes. You’re making me dizzy,” Darren almost screamed. But his mother paid no heed.

“You notice something? You notice I’m slimmer?” Debby asked as she twirled around, turned side ways, and every other way, giving her son a good look at her.

“Yeah, yeah, I guess you are, ma.”

“Twenty-five pounds. You believe it? Twenty-five pounds and that’s just the beginning,” Debby insisted, though she continued to run around the kitchen, trying to find something to give her son to eat or drink.

“That’s great, ma. That’s really great. I’m really happy for ya. But sit down, eh?” Darren sighed. He rubbed his temples, trying to regain control over himself. He did not want to blow up at his mother right now, he just wanted to tell her the good news.


Finally Nancy sat down. Liz was bewildered.

“Look, I just wanted to say I’m sorry I haven’t been around for awhile. With Alex—well, with everything that went on, it was just too much for me. But I’m better now and I’ve been busy, real busy,” Liz admitted shyly. She smiled up at her mother, trying to reassure her that she really was okay.

Nancy nodded as she clenched her jaw.

“You got yourself a good job? You’re doing well?” Nancy asked hopefully. While she knew it was wrong, she couldn’t help but pray that her daughter was failing. “You’re too skinny, really skinny. What are you, ninety pounds now? Maybe eighty?”

“Yeah, mom, real good,” Liz laughed nervously, ignoring her other comments.

“What kind of business?” Nancy asked.

“Well, actually, I don’t work- Darren does. But I do work- on my classes that is,” Liz paused for a moment as she regained her barring. “I’m going to Harvard.”


“Well, I’m sort of a distributor, like,” Darren tried his best to explain what he did while not outright saying that he was a drug dealer. “For a big importer. My own.”

“Oh, I’m so happy for you,” Debby insisted. She got up and smothered Darren with kisses.

“Hey, ma, easy, eh? You’re killing me. Krist, whatta ya been doin’, liftin’ weights?” Darren asked as he fought to evade his mother’s arms.

“Your own business. Oh Darren, I knew when I saw you that you had your own business. I always knew that you could do that,” Debby smiled up at her son. She tenderly reached over and grazed his cheek with her knuckles.

“Yeah, ma, you were right. I made it just like you said I would,” Darren laughed nervously.

“So now maybe you’ll meet a nice girl and have a baby?” Debby suggested while hoping that maybe she was planting a seed in his mind that would soon bloom.

“I already met one—“ Before another word could leave Darren’s mouth Debby squealed and squeaked and started to jump out of her chair. Only Darren held his arms up in front of him.

“Jesus krist, ma, don’t go ape shit, eh?” Darren said angrily. His mother was really getting to him.

“Is she a nice girl? Who’s her parents? What—“

“You know’er ma. Liz. Liz Parker. Remember, her parents—“

“Oh, Parker! Of course. I know the Crashdown. They’ve got a lovely little café,” Debby said thoughtfully. “And a lovely daughter…”

“Yeah, beautiful,” Darren chuckled. It struck him then that that had been the first thought he and his mother had agreed upon.

However Debby was so happy she couldn’t remain sitting. She quickly got up and refilled their cups.

“Before you go bouncin’ all over again and make me forget, what I want to tell ya is I have a present and—“

“Darren, I don’t want a present, just have a baby!” Debby smiled endearingly, causing Darren to falter.

“Later for that, eh? Now will you let me tell you what I have, eh? Will ya?” Debby nodded, grinned, ground and clenched.

“Krist, you’re really something else today. But look, I know… well,” Darren took a deep breathe and tried again. “What I’m trying to say is that… well,” he shrugged and started over. “Well… I know I ain’t been the best son in the world—“

“Oh, Darren, you’re a good—“

“No, no! Please, ma, let me finish. I’ll never get it out if you keep interrupting me,” Again Darren took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for being such a bastard.” He stopped, breathed and sighed. “I wanna make it up. I mean, I know I can’t change anything that’s happen, but I want ya to know that I’m sorry and I love ya, and I wanna make it right.”

“Darren, it’s—“

“I don’t know why I do those things. I don’t really want to do them. It just sort’ve happens, I guess. I don’t know. It’s all kinda goofy somehow, but I really do love ya, Ma, and I want you to be happy, so…” It was time. He rubbed his hands on his pants and tried to think of the best way to tell his mother. Finally he decided to just let it go. “Ma, I’m getting married and I’m going to Harvard with Liz.”


“Married?” Nancy breathed out a long and slow breath. Her world, which had already crashed down on her, seemed to just be lowering itself even more with each passing second.

But Nancy knew that if she didn’t want to forever lose her daughter then she would have to accept Darren and Liz, and whatever it was that they wanted to do.

Suddenly she squealed and made to get up, but Liz warded her off with her hands. Nancy sat down, grinned and ground her teeth.

“Oh Lizzie, I’m so happy for you. God knows your father will have a heart attack, but after time he’ll understand,” Nancy babbled inanely.

To quiet her down, Liz leaned over and gave her an honest, open and perfectly, beautiful kiss.

“You see that, you see how good you are? You knew your lonely mother was practically living all alone, no one to make her a visit…” Liz felt pretty good as she listened to her mother until something puzzled her. She stopped hearing her mother and instead heard some, other strange sound.

She looked around until she looked at her mother. Suddenly she was filled with surprise, disbelief and confusion.

The noise she heard was her mother’s teeth grinding. Liz leaned across the table.

“Hey, mom, you droppin’ uppers?” Liz asked seriously, concern etching her face.

“What?” Nancy asked.

“You on uppers?” At this point Liz was getting angry. “You’re on diet pills, aren’t you?”

Nancy was suddenly stunned. She was completely bewildered.

“On? On? What is on?” Nancy queried as naturally as possible.

“How come ya lost so much weight?” Liz asked worried.

“I told you, I’m going to a specialist.”

“A specialist,” Liz mused aloud. She knew Darren wasn’t dealing to her mother, as he would never do anything like that. “What kinda specialist?”

“What kind? A specialist. For weight,” Nancy feigned innocence.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. You’re makin’ a croaker for speed, aren’t you?” Liz prodded eagerly. This was getting bad.

“Lizzie, you alright?” She shrugged. “I’m just going to a doctor. I don’t know from croaker, making—“

“What does he give you, mom? Huh? Does he give you pills?” Liz questioned.

“Of course he gives me pills. He’s a doctor. Doctors give pills.”

“What kind of pills?” Liz asked earnestly. She needed to know, if only to save her mother.

“What kind. A purple one, red one, orange and—“

“No, no, I mean what kind?” Liz asked in aggravation.

“They’re round… and flat.” Liz rolled her eyes at her mother’s response. Typical.

“I mean, like what’s in them?” Liz continued to question her mother, praying that this was just some fluke and she was wrong.

“Lizzie, I’m your mother, not you- the scientist. How should I know what’s in them?” Nancy queried.

“Look, mom, does that stuff make you feel good, sort of, and give you lots of pep?” Liz asked seriously. This was getting worse with each passing minute.

“Well, a little, I guess maybe,” Nancy agreed, nodding her head in acceptance.

“A little? Jesus, mom, I can hear you grinding your teeth from here!” Liz yelled angrily. She couldn’t believe her mother was a speed fiend.

“But that goes away at night,” Nancy tried her best to amend the situation. Little did she know she was only making things worse.

“At night?” Liz asked, intrigued.

“When I take the green one. In thirty minutes I’m asleep. Poof, just like that,” Nancy snapped her fingers so as to emphasize her point. Liz shook her head and rolled her eyes.

“Hey, mom, you have to cut this stuff loose. It’s no good,” Liz insisted stringently.

“Who said its no good? Twenty-five pounds I lost,” Nancy retorted.

“Big deal. Do you wanna be a dope fiend for god sakes?” Liz asked in exasperation.

“What’s this dope fiend? Am I foaming at the mouth? Besides he’s a nice doctor.”

“Mom, I’m telling you this croaker’s no good,” Liz protested earnestly.

“How come you know so much? How come you know more about medicine than a doctor?” Nancy questioned worriedly.

“I know, mom, believe me,” Liz sighed. She hated lying to her mother about this. But the truth was she didn’t want her mom to end up like she was. “You’ll get strung out.”


“But I almost fit into my silver and blue dress. The one I wore to my sister’s wedding. The one your father liked so much. I remember how he looked at me in that dress. And what with you getting married now, I need to—“

“Ma, no, just get a new dress. I mean, you’ve been getting the money I’ve been sending ya, right?” Darren asked urgently.

“I’m going to wear that dress at your wedding,” Debby protested.

“Ma, just get a new dress,” Darren insisted.

“No, I’m telling you that I’m going to wear that dress. You just tell me when and I’ll be there in that silver and blue dress,” Debby promised.

“What’s the big deal about wearing that dress to my weddin’? Those pills’ll kill ya before ya ever get to my weddin’ fa krist’s sakes!” Darren yelled.

“Big deal? You drove up in a cab. You see who had the sun seat? You notice your mother in the special spot getting the sun? You know who’s somebody now? Who’s no longer just a widow in a little apartment who lives alone? I’m somebody now, Darren. Everyone likes me. They wonder where you get the money that you send me, and they’re always wondering when you’re gonna get a girl and settle down. And I always tell them that you just have to find the right one. But now, now its different,” Debby explained. Darren nodded. Defeated, he stared at the floor. “And who knows, maybe you’ll have a baby.”

“A baby?” Darren chocked.

“So what’s wrong with a baby?” Darren blinked and shook his head. Bewildered, he surrendered to her flow. Debby looked at her entire family and a softness overtook her.

“It’s not the baby, Darren. It doesn’t make any difference if you two have a baby right this moment. But, you getting married, it’s like a reason to get up in the morning. It’s a reason to lose weight. So I can be healthy. It’s a reason to fit in the silver and blue dress. It’s a reason to smile, already. It makes tomorrow alright.” Debby leaned close to her son. “What have I got Darren? Why should I even make the bed or was the dishes? I do them, but why should I? I’m alone. Harry’s gone, you’re gone, I have no one to take care of. Anybody. Everybody. What do I have? I’m lonely, Darren. I’m old.”

Darren fidgeted and his eyes blinked as he tried to think of something.

“You got friends, ma. What—“

“It’s not the same. You need someone to make for. No, Darren, I like how I feel this way. I like thinking about the silver and blue dress and your wedding… and your father and you. Now when I get the sun I smile,” Debby continued softly.

“I’ll come visit, ma. Now that I’m straight, my business is going good, I’ll come. Me and Liz. Honest, ma. I swear. We’ll come for dinner. Soon,” Darren promised sadly. Debby shook her head and smiled at her son, trying hard to believe him.

“Good, you bring her and I’ll make you soup and a roast,” Debby replied nonchalantly.

“That sounds great, ma. I’ll give you a call ahead a time, ok?” Darren asked.

“Good. I’m glad,” Debby nodded. “I’m glad you got a nice girl and a good business and are going to Harvard. I’m glad.” But the smile on her face said otherwise.

Debby got up and hugged Darren as tears welled in her eyes.

“Your father and I were always wanting only the very best for you. I’m so glad, Darren, that you have someone to be with. You should be healthy and happy. And have lots of babies. Don’t have only one. It’s no good. Have lot’s of babies. They’ll make you happy,” Debby swore profusely.

Darren did his best to hug his mother. He fought his desperation to get away and held onto her. But, eventually Debby backed away and looked into his face, smiling.

“Look, I’m crying already. I’m so happy I’m crying,” Debby cried.

“I’m glad you’re happy ma,” Darren said as he forced a smile. “I really love ya. An’ I’m sorry—“ Debby waved his apology off. “I really am. But I’m goin’ ta make it up now. You should just be happy.”


“Don’t worry about me. I’m used to being alone,” Nancy insisted as she hugged her daughter one last time.

A long silence prevailed as child and parent smiled at one another. Then Liz looked down at her watch.

“I got to go, mom. Darren is going to pick me up any minute. But I’ll be back,” Liz promised, though both Nancy and Liz knew it was unlikely that she would.

“Good. I’ll make dinner for you and Darren,” Nancy said. “You still have your key?”

“Yeah, I got it, mom,” Liz said as she pulled out her key and showed it to her. “But I’d better hurry. Darren’s probably waiting.”

“Bye Lizzie.” One more kiss and a hug and Liz was gone. Nancy stared at the door for many long moments.

Then she took her orange pill.






Liz sat in the back seat of the cab, filled with worry and concern. Tears welled up into her eyes until she couldn’t hold it any longer. She sobbed hard, real hard.

A moment later she collected herself and did the only thing she knew to do at a time like this.






Liz wiped away her tears as though they were never even there.

It's pretty sad that I had to threaten to stop posting on the board to get people to leave feedback. And I know I'm not the only writer who is aggravated about this. There are so many talented writers out there who I know people read their fics but don't leave feedback, like Majesty, Hipntrendy, psych___ and many others.
If you read a story it is only curteous to leave some sort of note, even if it is negative (but constructive)- at least that way author's know what people think.
I'll admit I'm not the best at leaving feedback, but I also do not follow series all the way through. Those which I do I try as hard as possible to leave some sort of feedback, even if it is just a simple Good job, or update please. As questions, make noise, and voice your thoughts because if you don't, who will?
posted on 26-Jan-2002 2:09:40 AM

Part 9

Tyler stepped into the white limo. It had leopard skin upholstery.

Words were mumbled. He exchanged fives with Brody, who was in his late twenties, bespectacled, highly intelligent looking, and had two henchmen at his side. It was weird to think that guy also owned the UFOCenter and ran one of the biggest drug rings in Roswell.

But Brody never spoke. He signed something to his first henchman.

“Brody says you coming up quick, kid,” the henchman said for Brody.

“Thanks Brody,” Tyler said gratefully. The henchman signed back. Then Brody responded.

“Brody wants to promote you. He wants to give you some more responsibility. Are you interested?” The henchman asked. The three men stared at Tyler as he gazed at them slack jawed.

“Yeah, yeah!” Tyler said excited.

“Brody say, you fuck him, I’ll kill you!”

“I wouldn’t do that, Jim,” Tyler insisted, using his pet name for everyone close to him.

But before he could say more, Tyler noticed the driver’s door was open. Tyler pointed.

“Where’s the—“ Brody spun just when a white gunman leaned in through the driver’s door with a 9mm Glock---

Shots rang out and three bullets ripped through Brody’s body. Blood and guts splattered all over Tyler, and Brody’s dead body collapsed into his lap.

The henchmen quickly pulled out their pieces and returned fire. One henchman got splattered. The other killed the white man.

Tyler slipped and scrambled out of the limo. He stared in horror at the white gunman who lay dead in the street.

Not knowing what else to do, Tyler did the only thing he could.

He ran. Frantic, with blood all over him, he ran, hyperventilating with panic until two cops began to chase him.



And the next thing Tyler knew, the cops had caught him. They slammed him against the wall, cuffed his wrists, and jerked him over towards their car.






Nancy and Debby sat in the Parker’s living room. Various wedding magazines, books, and advertisements covered the floors and tables. Debby was studiously searching through the stacks, trying to find the best place to hold the wedding while Nancy sought out a good flower arranger.

All the while Jeff stared on in horror. It was like an ominous cloud hung over him, and with each passing day that cloud looked as though it would just break, flooding his life with all the shit it was collecting.

Something was wrong, but Jeff just couldn’t put his finger on it, yet.

As if sensing his thoughts, both Nancy and Debby looked up. Jolting up, the two women moved towards their separate bottles.













Darren and Liz leaned against each other on the floor, their heads and shoulders the only parts of their bodies touching. They stared up at the ceiling. A variety of forms and papers- all of Liz’s Harvard information and paperwork- lay strewn around them.

All night they had held each other and kissed. And together they had pushed each other’s darkness into the corner. Believing in each other’s light, each other’s dream.

I love you, Darren,” Liz whispered adoringly. “You make me feel like a person, like I’m me and I’m beautiful.”

“You are beautiful,” Darren said softly. His hand slowly made its way up his body until it found her own. “You’re the most beautiful woman in the world. You’re my dream…”


Pop. Hit. Gulp.


Coffee: tinkle, perk, drip, slurp, slurp, slurp…


Nancy picked up the bottles of pills from her doctor and examined the labels.

She looked closer.

Finally she called her doctor.

“Doctor’s office?” The nurse responded over the phone.

“Hello, this is Mrs. Parker...” Nancy told the nurse her problem, explaining everything that she could while trying to sit still.

“No, Mrs. Parker, I’m absolutely certain. I’ve checked again.”

“Are you sure you didn’t give me the wrong pills?”


“But maybe you gave me a small one then the last time.”

“That isn’t possible, Mrs. Parker. You see, they are all the same potency. The change is in the color. All the purple are the same strength, all the red, and so on.”

“But something isn’t the same!”

“You’re just becoming adjusted to them. At first you get a strong reaction, but after a while that wears off and you just don’t feel like eating. It’s nothing to worry about, Mrs. Parker.”

Click. Nancy stared at the phone and slowly hung it up.

She dropped two pills in her hand. She stared at both pills—shrugged and popped them.





Suddenly a small grin invaded her face. Something was happening.


Tyler, terrified, held onto the bars for dear life. Junkies and winos that seemed more like ghosts and giant rats taunted him.

“Love… Love, Tyler G. Seven-three-five. Get your shit together and come on. You made bail…”

posted on 28-Jan-2002 1:49:42 AM

Part 10

Darren and Tyler rapped as they scammed the streets searching for a connection. They eyed other junkies suspiciously.

“How much?” Tyler asked warily. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to know.

“They got most of our cash,” Darren said, causing Tyler to shake his head in shame. However it was what Darren said next that really put Tyler on edge. “You’re up consorting.”

“Shit,” Tyler whispered angrily.

“Angel says it’s a war between the Italian’s and the Blacks. He says Sal and Geep are keeping all the shit down in California until guys like Brody are all knocked off,” Darren explained what he knew.


“No one’s got a thing,” Darren said softly, remorse filling his voice.

“Except Big Tim,” Tyler retorted.

“Who?” Darren asked.

“He’s holdin’ a nice taste,” Tyler clarified. He had thought that Darren would know all about Big Tim. Everyone else did.

“How much?” Darren queried excitedly.

“Some say a piece, others a truckload,” Tyler said sorrowfully. He would give anything to get something.

“Shit! Let’s go see him,” Darren exclaimed. He could only pray that Big Tim really had something. The streets were dry and they all needed something- anything.

“He’s holdin’, but he’s not sellin’,” Tyler explained remorsefully. At the questioning look on Darren’s face, Tyler continued. “He’s only givin’ up for pussy.”


“The only habit that muthafucka have is pussy. He hooked on that thang. Ah told’im ah give’im all he want, but he say ahm not pretty enough for’im,” Tyler joked, but smiled sadly all the while.

But the smile was wiped off his face a moment later.

Just then, a white van screeched to a halt at the corner in front of them. The side door slid open. Two white guys tossed a dead black guy into one of the cities many garbage cans.

The van screeched off. The black guy’s sneakers poked up out of the can.

Darren and Tyler turned around and quickly left the scene.


“Well, why don’t we just stop using?” Liz asked as she sat with Tyler and Darren in their apartment.

For a moment Darren, Tyler and Liz stared at each other, the implications of Liz’s question, through much resistance, sank in and registered.

“Yeah, I guess we’d better,” Darren agreed.


Pop. Hit. Gulp.


Nancy started to circle around the lazy chair in her living room. Tighter and tighter circles every time.


Inside Darren’s apartment, Darren, Tyler and Liz were trying to do something, anything but nothing. Everything was real slow and every moment was painful.

The kitchen clock was almost moving backwards.

They watched each other’s eyes.

They watched each other’s sweating lips.

And they watched each other’s twitching fingers.


Pop. Hit. Gulp.


And again.

Pop. Hit. Gulp.


Nancy stopped pacing. Out of breath, she towered over the phone. She dialed 411. Her mouth raced after her speed-drenched mind.


“It’s three already!” Liz declared as she stood up. She crossed over and sank into Darren’s waiting arms. “We’re making a big deal out of nothing.”

“Yeah, we can stop using,” Tyler agreed, a bit too willing. “We proved it. Right now.”

“Darren, it’s stupid to panic and think the world’s coming to an end just cause we can’t score any solid weight,” Liz insisted. She pressed a feather light kiss to his sweat-drenched forehead. He tightened his hold around her waist.

“Ok, fine,” Darren agreed.

Flick. Sizzle. Snap. Suck. Slap. Rush.

Three very happy sighs.


Darren and Liz twisted and turned in their bed. The sheets were covered in sweat.

Finally, Liz bolted up in bed gasping for breath. Darren quickly turned on the light.

“You alright?” Darren asked. He moved up beside her, wrapping his arms around her sweaty body. She was burning up and trembling.

“Must have had a bad dream, I guess,” Liz said breathlessly as she nodded her head.

“I-uh, I’ll get you a glass of water.” Extracting himself from the bed and Liz, Darren made his way into the kitchen.

Darren filled a glass of water. As he watched the water fill the glass he noticed that the spot where he normally shot up in his inner arm was sore and red.

Dabbing at it so as to brush away the dribble of blood, Darren winced slightly due to the pain.

Returning to their room, Darren looked at Liz in concern. She was still panting when he returned with the glass of water she had asked for. Or had he asked for it?

“Maybe we should dip in,” Liz suddenly suggested.

“It’s all we have,” Darren pointed out. He really didn’t want to. But he also knew that if it was what Liz wanted then he would do it.

“Tyler will score in the morning,” Liz insisted. She was sweating up a river and she wasn’t sure how much longer she would be able to last.

“It’s a bitch out there,” Darren informed her, hoping that she would just agree and go back to sleep.

“It’ll be fine, sweetheart, I just know it will,” Liz said softly. She crawled over to her fiancée and gazed into his eyes. A long beat passed before Darren answered.

“Yeah, I guess,” Darren conceded. “I’ll get the stuff.”

“I love you Darren,” Liz whispered, pressing a kiss to his back. She shivered in anticipation as she watched him disappear from their room.

Relief swept through both Darren and Liz as they set the last bit I front of them. But their relief was short lived as they stared at the little that the had left.







Later that morning Liz expectantly watched Darren on the phone. Darren hung up, causing Liz to grimace.

“Well?” Liz asked hopefully.

“Tyler hasn’t found anything,” Darren said regretfully.

“Nothing?” Liz asked, scared.


“What are we going to do?” Liz asked. She was beyond scared now. How was she going to live? For the last six months she had relied on Darren, Tyler, and drugs to keep her sane. To keep her from thinking. To keep her from feeling.

Only Darren had broken that last barrier, and now she felt everything with an amazing force. Darren made her feel everything, and even though they had bad feelings, their good feelings outnumbered all the bad.

“I don’t know,” Darren said truthfully. He sat down beside Liz and rubbed her back soothingly. He was grateful that he had Liz through all of this. She always made everything alright. She would make right now alright too.

“Well, you have to do something! It’s your fault we don’t have something for the morning,” Liz argued forcefully. Her nerves were getting to her and she knew she was saying things she didn’t mean. But she couldn’t stop.

“What are you talking about?” Darren asked in confusion.

”You were all hot in the biscuit to get off last night,” Liz sneered.

“That’s all bullshit!” Darren protested. He couldn’t believe Liz was saying this.

“You didn’t have to and we could have had something now,” Liz retorted. She tried to shut her mouth, but it wouldn’t stop saying the words it did. And tears wouldn’t stop spilling over.

“Whatta am I gonna do? Just sit and watch you push off and not go myself?” Darren asked angrily.

“Then, just don’t put all the weight on me, that’s all. And leave me alone!” Liz declared. She jerked away from Darren and started towards the kitchen. Her whole body shook with need. Only this time it wasn’t a need that Darren could fill.

For a long, angry minute Darren watched Liz stomp off. Then he got up, picked up his jacket and moved towards the door.

“I’m gonna go meet Ty.”


Darren and Tyler waited by a payphone on an abandoned street corner.

“I gotta call my mom. I just don’t know what to do with her,” Darren suddenly said.

“Ahm glad ah doan't have no one laying that kind of heavy motha shit on me, Jim. You honkies are too much with that guilt shit,” Tyler said as he watched his friend dial.

“Krist, you ain’t kiddin’, man. I sometimes think we’d be better without moms,” Darren agreed. “Liz Liz’s mom. Liz says she’s a speed fiend- chokes it down all the time. No wonder Liz came to us when she did, probably needed to get away from that thing.”

A small laugh escaped Tyler and Darren’s mouths in the freezing cold. Then, a snot-faced dealer rounded the corner and nodded to Tyler.

So a lot of ya guys are asking where Mr. P is, well, as many people do, he has drifted off into the background. I know many friends who have gone through this sort of thing and their parents all but abandoned them- not because they didn't love them, but because they didn't know what to do.

You must also remember that Mr. P has lost Liz as well. He is grieving as well. But he still cares about his wife.
posted on 29-Jan-2002 6:57:29 PM

Part 11

The phone rang. Jeff started towards it, but backed off as he saw his wife stick her head out of the bedroom.

She stealthily moved towards the phone.

“Hey mom, how ya doing?”

“Oh, Lizzie,” Nancy breathed out. She was scared beyond belief and she was positive that Liz would be able to help her in some way.

“I just wanted to call and say hello, and that I’ll visit soon- Darren and I,” Liz sniffled. Her fight with Darren earlier was still fresh in her mind despite her efforts to push it away.

Suddenly, back in Nancy’s kitchen the appliances and furniture began to jump and hop about, making a smashing noise. Nancy sunk into her chair and let out a small scream.

“Mom? You—“

“Can you come now? For a little while?” Nancy asked desperately.

“Mom, I’m tied up. I got a lot of irons in the fire and I have to be around to take care of them,” Liz insisted. It was all a lie. She was just waiting for Darren or Tyler to come home.

The furniture hopped again.

“Stop it!” Nancy screamed at the appliances. “Not even a little visit? Please, Liz. Come over,” Nancy pleaded to Liz.

“Hey, mom, will you lighten up and stop playing those guilt games with my head?” Liz snapped. Her temper was returning.

The furniture shook and quivered as though it were laughing.

“Please, Liz…”

Liz took a deep breathe into the phone.

“Look, mom, I don’t want to hassle you, okay? I love you and I’ll see you soon. Take care,” Liz insisted as she stared down at the floor. She knew she had to hang up before she did something stupid.

“Liz, it’s all confusing and—“ But before Nancy could finish Liz hung up.


“So you want to hear the news?” Tyler asked. He stared at Darren, who protectively held a fitfully sleeping Liz in his arms. They had found some Valium and gave it to her to help calm her. Though it didn’t seem to be doing much.

“What news?” Darren asked hopefully.

“The good news and the bad news.”


“The good news is that in a couple of days they’ll be prime on the streets.”

“Really?” Darren asked, psyched. But soon he became suspicious. “Who told you?”

“Angel says Sal the Geep has sent word to let go a couple a keys for the Christmas season, he being a good Christian an' not wantin' anybody to be wantin' during this glorious season.”

“You believe it?”

“I didn’t until I heard the bad news.”

“Yeah…” Darren could already tell this was going to be bad.

“The price is doubled and you have to cop for weight, at least half a piece.”

“How much?” Darren asked, fearfully.


“Fuckin’ insane!”

“What you gonna do? The man ain’t goin’ to lay no nickel bag on you, thas foe damn sure,” Tyler explained angrily.

“Where we gonna get two?” As if getting the idea at the same time, both Darren and Tyler stared down at Liz.


Liz stared at Darren in disbelief. She couldn’t believe what he had just suggested.

“You mean Max?” Liz asked in horror.

“Well your dad won’t even take your call,” Darren pointed out. He held her close, unwilling to let go. It hurt him and drove him insane to think about what he was asking of Liz, but she was their last resort.

“I haven’t seen him in months,” Liz whispered, referring to Max.

“So what? He’ still callin’, ain’t he?” Darren asked anxiously. He knew all about Max’s alienness and he knew that Max could change things quite easily. That had to include money.

“Yes, but I don’t know,” Liz gulped in as much air as she could. Now she wished she had never told Darren about Max, Isabel, Michael and Tess. She stared in Darren’s eyes, pleading.

“Look, I don’t know what else to do. This is our last chance to get back on track. We don’t have to scuffle and make that freezing scene every day,” Darren pointed out. “We just need the bread.”

“Getting the bread is not the problem, Darren—“

“Then what’s the problem, fa krist’s sake?” Darren snapped. He didn’t mean to, but he too was going through withdrawals.

“I just don’t know what I’ll have to do to get it,” Liz whispered. And suddenly, Darren got it. Liz got it. But for Darren, this was too important. He got down on knee and held her hand. Pressing a kiss to her ring finger, where his engagement ring lay, Darren prayed that everything would turn out all right.

“Look baby, this is our last chance to get back on track. We’ll be back in business in no time. We’ll start moving again and we’ll start saving again. It’ll happen, Liz- we’ll get married and go to Harvard. But first we need to get going.”

Liz looked at him. Then, she closed her eyes and thought. Finally, as a single tear seeped through her lashes, she opened her eyes and gave him a gentle nod.

Again, if you know what this is based on, please DO NOT say what movie/book/whatnot it is from.
posted on 2-Feb-2002 12:42:22 PM
Part 12

A dimly lit café was Liz’s new scene. She wore lots of make-up and a long-sleeve blouse with a black skirt.

Max was worried.

Max was also bitter.

“… no, no, I’ve just had the flu forever it seems like,” Liz lied. For the last hour they had been talking. Finally he had asked why she had ignored his calls and why she looked as she did. She had to be under 90 pounds, maybe even 80.

“Are you depressed?” Max asked seriously. He had spoken with Jeff about Liz, and from what her father had said Nancy was completely gone and Liz didn’t sound much better. To a varying degree he wished that Liz were depressed because maybe then he would be able to get her away from Darren ad back into his arms.

“No, it’s nothing like that,” Liz said. She avoided Max’s gaze. Already she could feel the bile rising in her throat. But then, she had been throwing up a lot lately anyway. “Just been very busy. I’ve been working on things for Harvard.”

“That’s wonderful,” Max insisted with a slight smile. Memories of their last dinner date played over in his mind and the smile faded from his lips. He was still bitter about the way Liz had treated him. “I’m glad to hear you’ve been productive.” He smiled and touched her hand. “To be perfectly straight, I was surprised to hear from you.” For a minute Max studied Liz. Her eyes were slightly sunken in and she looked pale. “Is something wrong?”

“No, why?” Liz asked snappishly.

“That’s usually the case when someone calls whom you haven’t heard from for a while,” Max speculated bluntly. He glared at Liz, but soon stopped. He could never be mad at Liz for too long.

But he could remain bitter. At least until he got his revenge.

“No, everything’s fine,” Liz insisted. Again she averted her eyes and instead chose to stare at his hand, which rested on top of hers. “But I do have a favor to ask…”

Max smiled and leaned back into his chair. His smugness bothered her, so she grabbed a fork and stabbed it into the back of his hand, being careful not to hit her own. Blood spurted out and he howled out in pain.

“You smug sonofabitch!” Liz screamed.

A moment later, everything was back to normal.

Liz had been fantasizing.

She knew that Max had the upper hand. She knew that Max hated her right now and would use her weaknesses to his advantage. And she knew that he would milk her for all she was worth.

She knew all of this because the Max that sat in front of her wasn’t the Max Evans’ she had fallen in love with over two years ago. No, this Max Evans’ had slept with Tess- who had killed Alex- and had shunned her when she had needed him most. He had verbally abused her and left her heart shattered.

No, this wasn’t the Max Evans’ she loved. This Max Evans’ was a monster. A monster that Liz needed help from.

“A favor?” Max grinned in satisfaction. His bitterness was slowly vanishing as he realized the tables had turned. The time was his. And soon so would Liz. “What is it?”

Liz shivered at the cold and uncaring smile on Max’s face. He had changed so much. She knew it was partly due to Tess. Somehow Tess had fucked with Max’s mind, just as the drugs had fucked with Liz’s. And this was something Liz was willing to admit to. She knew drugs were wrong, but Darren made her life right, and the drugs just happened to help.

This was it. Either she could forget it and let Darren down, or she could be brave, ask Max and suffer the consequences later. But Liz already knew the answer. She wasn’t going to let Darren down. They needed the money, and right now Max was their only hope.

“I need some money.”


In the bedroom, Liz slowly took off her clothes.

She was dying and almost crying.

Luckily Isabel was with Jesse- her husband, something which Liz hadn’t even known about- and Max’s parents were out of town. At least they would be alone. No one would ever have to know about any of this.

Max, naked, with a big smile and erection, watched her. He knew it was wrong. But this was his only opportunity. If tonight panned out as he suspected it would then Liz would forever be his and Darren would forever be out of the picture.

Besides, he was still bitter.

“May I ask why?” Max asked. He continued to watch Liz remove her clothes.

“Could you turn off the lights?” Liz said meekly while ignoring his question. She could feel the bile rising in her throat again. The mere thought of sleeping with anyone except Darren made her retch. But they needed money, and Max was willing to give it to her, for a big price in return.

“Why do you want the light off?” Max queried. A smile played on his lips as he watched Liz deteriorate a little more. She was a wreck and he would make sure to be there to pick up the pieces. He would be her fucking knight in shinning armor.

“I just do,” Liz whispered sadly.

Since Future Max had come, and before Darren ever came into her life, Liz had often fantasized about being with Max. Only now was nothing like she had ever fantasized about. Instead it was her worst nightmare.

“You never wanted the lights off when we made out,” Max reminded her coldly. He really didn’t care either way. He just wanted to make Liz, his.

“Please, Max…” That was all it took. Max relented. He knew that he could never deny Liz.

Shrugging, he turned off the light. As soon as the room dimmed, Max crept up behind Liz and started planting kisses on her. They were rough and bruising, nothing like Darren’s.

And very gently and quietly, Liz began to cry.


Darren scratched some vinyl. He took the LP and frisbeed it into the wall. A smile formed on his lips as the record shattered into small fragments, much like his heart.

Then, he collapsed onto his couch, picked up the remote and flipped on the set. He tried to watch but he kept looking at the clock.

Liz should have been home by now. It was close to three in the morning as she still wasn’t home.

That’s when he heard it. At first it was faint, but soon it grew.

The sound of sex.

Darren’s head snapped up and he looked up on the television, only to find Liz fucking Max. Her nails dug into the skin on his back as a moan of ecstasy resounded though Max’s room. Liz’s moan- a sound Darren knew all too well. She was riding him hard, and Max was pushing into her even harder. His hand gripped her hips with an unimaginable strength as his lips traveled down her neck to her naked breast.

Curling up into a ball, Darren tried to fight off the offending images.

Finally, unable to deal with it for any longer, Darren reached under the couch.







The image on the television slowly started to dissolve back to the normal television show, leaving Darren relieved, but still shaken. However, he was a bit more comfortable. He reclined on the couch and nodded in satisfaction.

Liz would never do that to him. She loved him, and Max was completely out of the picture.



At the front door, Max, wrapped in a sheet, handed Liz some money. He stared at her expectantly. He had thought that she would stay with him. He had believed that she would see that they were better together and that their love was true.

But now Max knew.

Liz loved Darren. Darren loved Liz.

And soon Liz would be a mother, and Darren a father.

He watched her leave, quickly. Not knowing what else to do, Max closed the door and locked it. His heart was completely broken and for the first time Max knew that he had truly lost Liz Parker.

Anger. Disgust. These and various other emotions billowed up inside Liz. Her eyes began to tear up.

And as soon as she was far enough away, Liz leaned against the nearest building and vomited.

A half an hour later Liz returned to Darren’s apartment. She found her fiancée on the couch watching TV. She crawled out of her winter clothes and joined Darren on the couch. He was cold and unreceptive to her, unlike ever before.

And for the remainder of the night they sat on either side of the couch, unwilling to look at each other.

posted on 3-Feb-2002 1:55:26 AM
Part 13

Pop. Gulp. Hit.


Watching his wife, Jeff sighed as Nancy put on some makeup. Her hand was unsteady and her work was far from perfect. The lipstick was lopsided. The mascara was caked on one set of eyelashes.

In a beautiful blue dress, with very little energy, she spun in front of the mirror.

She started a dumpy version of a waltz. Very slowly. Her eyes were sunken in and dark-ringed. Flesh hung from her upper arms and neck.

All the while Jeff watched. He hung his head in shame and left completely defeated.


Darren and Tyler strolled the aisled with an empty shopping cart. They eyed other customers, most of whom were junkies trying to act nonchalant and making believe they were just shopping. In actuality they were just trying to figure out what to fuck was going on.

“You dig the action, man?” Tyler asked seriously but quietly.

“Yeah, I feel like I’m dreamin’,” Darren replied.

“Hey, I watch your back, you watch mine.” Both nodded in agreement.

“What are we supposed to do?” Darren asked a moment later.

“I don’t know. All they said was be at Waldbaum’s,” Tyler explained. Just then, they rounded a corner and spotted a pony-tailed junkie walking into the back loading area.

Quickly the two followed.


Liz impatiently circled round Darren’s apartment. She was anxious.

Very anxious.


Darren and Tyler joined a mass of smoking junkies in the back of the supermarket. The towering boxes of produce and canned goods crowded everyone in.

“Everyone and their mother is here,” Darren commented dryly.

A moment later, the steel roll-gate started to open. All the junkies turned to look. Them an eighteen-wheeler started to back into the loading doc. When the truck stopped at the dock, two white heavies emerged from the front cab. They wore ski masks and carried glistening machine guns.

Sitting behind a table in front of the crates was a distinguished man sporting a white fur cost. Two other heavies with masks and machine guns flanked him. The junkies applauded. The two men unlocked the back of the truck and the bald man popped open two steel suitcases on the table. Darren, Tyler and all the junkies pushed forward. The men with guns tried to control them.


Liz, still circling, started searching the apartment. She ripped open the bureau, flipped through clothes and unknowingly tossed her file of papers for Harvard.

They slowly drifted to the floor.


Darren and Tyler pushed their way to the front. A few lucky junkies handd the bald man money and got their scag. The heavies screamed at the junkies to calm down or they would be outta there.

Then suddenly, Darren spotted a gap-toothed junkie pulling a gun. The men with the machine guns saw him and pulled out their guns. Darren grabbed Tyler and started to pull him away when suddenly…

Gun shots rang out. Bullets sprayed everywhere.

Darren and Tyler headed for the supermarket in front. Boxes were blowing up around them. The bald man slammed the steel suitcases closed and started pulling the truck doors closed. They charged into the supermarket with a bunch of other junkies. They rushed down an aisle when the pony-tailed junky got nailed in front of them. He slid across the linoleum leaving trail of blood behind him.

Darren and Tyler leapt over the dead body and rushed toward the exit.


Liz ripped through the apartment as she searched for something, anything. She sank to the floor and started to sob. Her life was unraveling, just like before. Only this time, it was much worse. It hurt so much more.

Just then Darren walked in on her on the floor.

“Where have you been?” Liz screamed as she got up. She walked up to him and punched him as hard as her frail hands would let her in his chest. “I’ve been waiting all night!”

“Where the hell do you think I’ve been?” Darren asked in exasperation.

“Where’s the score?” Liz asked desperately.

“Some dumb-ass junkie—“

“Did what? You fucked it up!” Liz threw her hands up in the air as tears trickled down her cheeks. “Don’t tell me you fucked it up…”

“I didn’t fuck it up. Me and Ty have a plan,” Darren reassured her. He tried to draw her in his arms, but she refused to get near him. She just had to keep moving.

“A plan! I don’t want another plan, I want my stuff!” Liz shrieked, though it came out more as a sob. Her voice was scratchy and hoarse. She hadn’t eaten in days and she hadn’t slept since she had had to sleep with Max.

“What the fuck’s wrong with you?” Darren yelled back. He was sick of this shit. He had put up with everyone’s crap and now he was fed up.

“Me?!” Liz spat out. She marched up to him and poked him in the chest. “You promised me that everything was gonna be ok.” Tears were now freely falling down her face. She looked sad and pitiful, which caused Darren’s heart to constrict. “I fucked that sleazebag—I put myself through hell for you! We are supposed to be married and in Harvard right now. So what the fuck do you think is wrong with me?!”

“What do you want from me? I don’t have anything, nothing! There’s nothing out there,” Darren sighed as tears welled up in his eyes. It hurt him to see Liz like this. And she was right. They were supposed to be married and at Harvard. But he had fucked up her life, as had everyone else.

“I don’t give a shit! You loser. You fucking loser, I want you to come through for me…” Liz sobbed as she beat his chest with her tiny, frail hands. Her whole body shook as she tried to get him to see. She didn’t want the drugs anymore, all she wanted was for Darren to come through for her- she wanted him to take her pain away and keep it away for once and for all.

“Ya think I’m playin’ fuckin’ games for krist’s sake?” Darren yelled as he threw his arms up. He pushed Liz away and glared at her. “You wanna have some extra stuff?”

Darren picked up the phone and called Tyler. He grabbed a picture of him and Liz in bed, naked and holding each other. He blinked back his tears and waited. “We were hipped to a dude that’s holding some weight, but he ain’t sellin’.”

“Yeah,” Tyler answered over the phone.

“Give me that guy’s number. The guy who likes broads,” Darren specified. If Liz wanted her score then he would get it for her. Even if it meant losing her. He would do whatever would make her happy.

“Big Tim? What for?” Tyler asked worriedly.

“Just give me the number, for krist’s sake!” Darren yelled. He was beyond aggravated. He wanted to come through for Liz, but obviously he had failed, just as Max and Kyle had. And this angered Darren. He had promised himself when he first started seeing Liz that he wouldn’t let her down, now, like everyone else, he had failed.

“Ok, ok…” Tyler said soothingly. “Nine three four…”

“You worried so goddam much…” Darren hung up on Tyler and handed Liz the number on the back of the picture. “Here, go fix yourself up with’im. You won’t have to wait so long, and I won’t have ta freeze my ass off in the fuckin’ streets.”

“Fuck you.” Liz spat out.

“No fuck you!” Darren charged out of the apartment, leaving Liz staring after him.


Nancy manically marched down the street.

The world shot by her.

A train roared by on the elevated tracks up above.

But all was lost on Nancy’s part.

She had to find her daughter.


Liz sobbed into the phone. She shredded the upholstery on the couch.

“California! California! When’s he gonna be back?” Liz cried.

“I don’t know. A few days,” Angel guessed. He was a good friend of Darren and Tyler’s, and he also knew Liz.

“Days? What am I supposed to do? You gotta help me!” Liz insisted.

“Liz… I-uh… I don’t know.”

“Angel… please. Please, Angel,” Liz pleaded, though Angel had already hung up.


A crowd watched Nancy babble. Two paramedics arrived.

“Looks like shock,” one of the paramedics commented to his partner. He turned to Nancy and spoke slowly. “Can you walk?”

“I’m walking down the aisle and you’ll see my Lizzie at the alter. She’s getting married. I just want to get to the wedding in time,” Nancy rambled on, oblivious to everyone around her.

“Do you know her name?” The paramedic asked one of the women next to Nancy.

“It’s Nancy Parker,” Amy DeLuca said as she held her daughter’s best friend’s mother.

“Call Jeff and tell him to come- he’s missing his little baby girl getting married. I’ve got the blue dress I wore to my sister’s wedding and the silver shoes,” Nancy smiled up at the paramedics.

“Okay, Mrs. Parker, let’s just take it nice and easy,” the paramedic said gently. “Here we go.”

The paramedics helped Nancy to her feet. They headed towards the front door as a sympathetic Amy watched on.


Liz stared at Big Tim’s number. A moment later she picked up the phone and dialed.

“Yeah,” Big Tim answered a moment later.

Liz quickly hung up. A long beat passed before she picked up the phone and dialed again.

“Yeah!” Big Tim said again.

“Hi…” Liz said nervously. And Big Tim’s only response was to let go of a big laugh.

As usual, if you know where this is from, please don't say a word. I will tell at the end.

Also, a big thank you to those who do leave feedback- it helps to know that some people do enjoy this

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 3-Feb-2002 1:59:31 AM ]
posted on 5-Feb-2002 1:20:40 AM
Warning: NC-17... not only for sexual nature, but other things...

Part 14

Flick. Sizzle. Snap. Suck. Slap. Rush.


Tyler leaned against the driver’s door—high.

Darren rolled up his sleeve. Right in he crotch of his arm was a nasty hole from shooting up too much. It was infected and rings of red surrounded it.

“Sheeit,” Tyler drawled as he stared at his friend’s arm. “How long you got that?”

“A few days,” Darren replied nonchalantly as possible.

“That don’t look too good,” Tyler commented.

“It don’t feel too good either. But a little stuff’ll take care of that,” Darren insisted as he wrapped a rubber band around his upper arm.

“Don’t shoot in there!” Tyler argued.

“I’ll blow it if I don’t. Fuck it,” Darren replied a moment later.

Flick. Sizzle. Snap. Suck. Slap.

Tyler watched as the needle pushed through the rotten hole.




A security camera studied Liz as she waited at the front door.

A moment later a quick buzz sounded off.

Liz pushed the door open and entered.


Nancy, on a gurney, was pushed through crowded corridors of the hospital. The noise and chaos reached her in surreal and muffled tones. She was mumbling to herself, dreaming of being at her daughter’s wedding.

Then she slid into the emergency room.

A young, serious doctor shined a light into her eyes. Nancy tried to smile.

“No emergency. Take her to psyche,” the doctor said dismissively.


Big Tim’s door opened wide, revealing an even wider Big Tim. He was big in every way. His body was big, his smile was big, he laugh was big and his apartment was big.

“Come in,” Big Tim offered, gesturing for Liz to come in. He stepped aside and Liz entered the huge living room with a grand view of the park. Big Tim took her coat. “Have a seat. What would you like?”

“Nothing,” Liz said meekly

“Oh, you strictly a dope fien’?” Big Tim laughed. Liz was startled by his comment, but she quickly recovered.

“Ok, maybe I’ll have a little chartreuse,” Liz smiled shyly.

“Yellow or green?”

“Oh, ahh… yellow,” Liz said, surprised. A moment later Big Tim joined Liz with the drinks. He took out a hash pipe and sparked it. Liz was offered the pipe and she took a few tokes.

“What’s your name?” Big Tim asked.

“Liz,” she whispered in response. Big Tim laughed loud, deep and happy- it was like a presence of its own.

“What do you know, perfect little Lizzie,” Big Tim pulled Liz into his chest. And she let him. “You know what I like best about patty chicks?” Big Tim asked. Liz smiled as she relaxed into him. “They give good head. Black broads don’t know nothing about giving head. I don’t know why. Might be it has something to do with some ancient tribal custom.”

A big laugh erupted from Big Tim. He pulled Liz up to him and kissed her. And after a beat, she kissed him back. Then, he backed off.

“Better save some of that energy,” Big Tim insisted. He pushed her down so that she was lying on his stomach. Gently he turned her head around as he pulled out his penis.

She stared at Big Tim’s shaft knowing what she was supposed to do, but not able to do it. Her insides trembled and knotted. And all she could think about was Darren and how she was betraying him and their relationship.

“I know it’s purty, baby, but I didn’t take it out for air,” Big Tim purred. He nudged her and she grabbed him and started kissing it. Suddenly she stopped.

She was gong to be sick.

Big Tim laughed his big laugh and pointed to the bathroom.

“That way.”

Liz finished barfing. She washed her face and mouth in the sink and looked up at herself. She was trembling and didn’t even recognize herself. No longer did she see the beautiful Liz Parker which Darren had helped her to see. Instead she saw the Liz Parker which had only half lived life, until she had met her true soul mate.

She shut her eyes and cried.

Breathing deeply, Liz collected herself. She fixed her hair and smiled at herself.

Big Tim laughed as Liz emerged from the bathroom.

“Sorry. Must have been the chartreuse,” Liz said simply. She ducked her head and smiled shyly.

“Welcome back.” Liz’s smile turned into an eager grin. He chuckled as she got down on her knees. “Yeahhhh, little bo-peep done foun’ her sheep…” Big Tim laughed his big laugh as he leaned back and enjoyed the ride.


Tyler drove while Darren squirmed. His arm hurt like hell.

“I told you to stay away from that arm, man,” Tyler reminded softly.

“I gotta call Liz,” Darren replied gruffly. He missed her. He needed to say he was sorry and tell her that he loved her and would fix everything. But first he just had to go to California, get some stuff, make some money, and then he would come back, marry her and together they would go to Harvard.

All the while Tyler watched the odometer change from 499 to 500.

“Well, it’ll be long-distance now. That’s five hundred. We five hundred damn miles closer to Los Angeles,” Tyler said excitedly.

“Yeah. We’re also five hundred miles away from Liz and Roswell!” Darren breathed out as a lone tear trickled down his cheek.

Afraid now, Tyler looked out the window. The landscape was foreign and strange-- almost alien.


After sex, Big Tim opened the door and leaned up against the doorway. Naked, he watched Liz as she finished getting dressed. Liz couldn’t even look at herself in the mirror, or at Big Tim.

“You know, baby, I can fix it so you can pick up a real, nice taste. Though it's more like play, baby. Sunday night we're having a gathering, all good people –“

“No, I couldn’t,” Liz smiled and shook her head. She felt dirty. She needed to get away. “I’m busy. And I’m not really hooked.”

Big Tim laughed his big laugh and tossed Liz some bags.

“Yeah, I know. But I’m tellin’ ya it’s a real nice taste.” Liz quickly grabbed the bag and started putting them in her purse. She just needed to get out of there. “What the fuck you doing?”

“Nothing!” Liz said, startled. “I’m…”

“Damn!” Big Tim laughed, hard. “Damn, I got me some kinda virgin. Now you gotta be kidding ol’ Tim you just got to be!”

“I don’t kn—“

“You mean you not going to count what’s there but you just going to be putting; it in your pocketbook and just walk out in the street? Damn!” Again Big Tim laughed. “You sure haven’t been around long, baby.”

“I’m not exactly a naïve school girl, I… I…” Liz flushed as she tried to think of what to say. “I’ve gotten around an’… an’… and I’m just not—“

“Sheeit, ain’t nothing to be ashamed of, baby, we all gotta get down with it for the first time. I just don’t want to see you get ripped off,” Big Tim said smugly. “I ain’t bad rappinya. Sheeit, you earned that baby and you sure as hell don’t want to donate it to some purse snatcher.” He laughed and Liz smiled. “Lookit, there be one place you can stash ol’ doogie without you worrying about it be accidentally getting in the wrong hands, you dig? Ain’t no purse snatcher or mugger going to rip you off there, baby.”

As Liz caught on she flushed and nodded her head. Big Tin laughed his big laugh and wandered into the living room.

“I’ll see you Sunday, perfect little Lizzie.” With that said, Liz lifted up her skirt and did her deed.


Nancy was strapped to a hospital bed. She sobbed to herself.

The gray ward was packed with twice as many beds as there should have been. Patients wandered around in straitjackets. Screams of agony and pain barely reached her ears.

The young doctor addressed Nancy and tried to calm her down.

“Mrs. Parker. Please try and answer me. When did you start taking the pills?”

“When? The winter… Oh, this winter. I got a special place in this world. Debby fixed my hair,” Nancy rambled off.

“You started this winter?” The young doctor looked at Nancy in shock and pity. “Last winter? Ok, Mrs. Parker, everything will be alright, we’ll fix you up in no time.”

“You’re a good boy, Darren,” Nancy grinned. And for a moment, the young doctor was Darren with his golden smile and all. And Nancy couldn’t think of a better person to be marrying her daughter.


Liz sat in the bath tub. She was bent over, her head beneath the water between her knees and her back stuck out from above the tub. She was bone thin. And she held her breath for an eternity.

She had scrubbed at her skin until was raw, trying to get Max and Big Tim’s grimy scents off her body. She tried to wash away their touch. Their sweat. Their moans and groans of pleasure. Their sex. Their everything.

And soon Liz found herself screaming. Air bubbles shot to the surface as invisible tears mixed with the water. All the while her screamed remained muffled by the water around her, just as everyone else muffled her life.

posted on 9-Feb-2002 12:31:55 AM

Part 15

Tyler still drove.

There was a preacher screaming gospel on the radio.

Darren squirmed as he grabbed his arm. He was wincing in pain.

“Man, I can’t cut it. I gotta do something about this arm,” Darren groaned.

“Let’s see what it looks like,” Tyler suggested. He periodically gazed over at Darren before returning his eyes to the road.

Darren winced as he very carefully rolled up his sleeve.

The area around the hole was black and raised. Even worse, the area around the black was slightly green. Also, a wide dark red streak reached down his arm towards his hand.

They both stared at it for a moment.

“Oh man,” Darren whispered painfully.

“Sheeit, that be the ugliest mothafucka I’ve ever seen,” Tyler commented.

“I gotta call Liz,” Darren insisted a minute later. As much pain as he was in he knew that he would be much better if he could only hear Liz’s sweet voice. He should have taken her with them. He should have stayed with her. He should have married her. He should have gone to Harvard. He should have done a lot of things.

“Let’s find a hospital first.”


A needle punctured Nancy’s arm. The nurse wiped off the blood that spilled out and smiled at the woman.

In a surreal moment, the world slowed down. Real slow.

Nancy’s tongue stuck to the top of her mouth. She pried it off with a rattling smack in her brain. Her mouth was dry and small drops of foam formed on the sides of her chapped lips.


To try and disperse the pain, Darren marched around the examination room. The pain was excruciating.

Though he wasn’t sure if it was his arm or his heart.

He missed Liz.

Darren stopped when a grey-haired southern doctor came in.

“What’s the problem?” The doctor asked.

“My arm, it’s killing me,” Darren explained.

The doctor looked for a moment. Then, he grabbed Darren’s arm and looked at it. Darren winced in pain.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” the doctor whispered as he slowly backed out of the room.


Liz stared at the empty pile of bags in front of her. The she stared at the photo of she and Darren in bed together. Next, she flipped it over and looked at Big Tim’s number. A moment later she picked it up and dialed Big Tim.

“Yeah?” Big Tim answered.

“Hi…” Liz whispered nervously. And again Big Tim laughed a big laugh.


Two male attendants entered with a tray of food. They joked with each other and barely even noticed Nancy.

They tried to lift Nancy up, but she couldn’t support herself.

Then they tried harder and they shoved her into a sitting position. One of the attendants put some food in her mouth. She tried to swallow, but her throat wasn’t working.

S-w-a-l-l-o-w,” the attendant said in slow motion. “S-w-a-l-l-o-w!”

But the food just dribbled out the side. As they continued their conversation about the Jet’s they grabbed her and forced the food down her throat by holding her nose and keeping her mouth shut.

Her eyes blasted in terror. Her head beated thunderously in her ears.


Liz put mascara on her left eye. Then she put on some clothes.


Tyler filled through an old copy of Fortune Magazine. He tried to ignore all the people gawking at him. Then he spotted a pair of boots standing in front of him. Next, he spotted the gun and baton.

Tyler looked up into a towering highway cop’s stern glare.

Cuff one wrist. Cuff the other.

Liz stared at her right eye as she carefully applied mascara. Afterwards she put on some more clothes.


The young doctor towered over Nancy. He read her chart and was concerned.

“You have to eat, Mrs. Parker. If we’re going to get you healthy again, you have to eat. Try to work with the attendants. Now, I’m going to try some new medications. They should help us.”

He patted her on the shoulder and walked away. Nancy tried to call for him, to make any noise, to plead, to do anything. But she couldn’t.

A moment later, the two male attendants came for her. They grabbed her and moved her into a wheelchair. Restraints for her arms and legs were slapped on.

They grabbed a clear plastic tube and covered it with lubricant. Then they tried to slide it into her nose.

Nancy struggled until one attendant grabbed her head and whacked it flat against the headrest.

“Ok, miss, just relax. We’re gonna try to help you eat,” the attendant insisted. Pinned, they slid the tube into Nancy’s nose, down her throat and into her stomach.

Then the feeding began.


The mirror glimmered back at Liz as she carefully out on her lipstick. When she was done she smacked her lips together.

Moving in front of the full-length mirror, Liz stared at herself. She was dressed to the hilt. She made a few last minute corrections to her outfit but stopped when the phone rang.

“Hello?” Liz answered nervously.

“Liz…” Darren whispered in pain on the telephone. His voice cracked with emotion. He sat on the cold jail floor, using all his strength to stay awake.

Liz sat down by the phone.

“Darren?” Liz cried softly, a slight sliver of hope laced in her voice. She was relieved to hear from him, and happy. “Oh, Darren…”

“Oh, Liz, I’ve been thinking about you,” Darren said wistfully. His voice wasn’t above a whisper. “You’re ok?”

“When are you coming back?” Liz asked hopefully while purposely avoiding Darren’s question. Her voice shook. She missed him. She just wanted him back with her, holding her in his arms.

“Soon. You’re holding out, right?” Darren asked. He was crying and he knew Liz could hear him. But he didn’t care because his tears weren’t for the pain in his arm, but for Liz.

“When?” Liz asked again. Her voice was trembling and she too was crying.

“Soon,” Darren promised. “Everything’s going to be alright…”

“Darren… will you come today?” Liz sobbed. Her voice sounded so small and like a child. Tears spilled over her cheeks, ruining her caked on make-up. Her whole body shook with a need to see Darren again. She missed him so much.

“Yeah, Liz… yeah,” Darren choked out. Tears seeped from his eyelids, which were now closed as he fought off the images of Liz crying. “Just wait for me. I’ll be back, tonight. You’ll wait, right?” Darren asked desperately.

But Liz didn’t answer. Instead she closed her eyes.

She knew.

He knew.

“Liz,” Darren whispered, praying that she would answer. He just needed to hear her sweet voice one last time.

“Yeah,” Liz cried.

“Just wait,” Darren pleaded.

“I will, Darren,” Liz lied. And Darren knew it. Both knew they would never see each other again. And it tore them apart inside.

“I’m coming, Liz. I’m coming for you. I am!” Darren insisted, trying not only to convince Liz, but him as well. But as reality set in, Darren knew what he had to do. “And I’m sorry, Liz. I’m real sorry…”

“I know, Darren,” Liz whispered hoarsely. Tears were still trickling down her cheeks and she knew what she had to do as well. “I know.”

A long beat passed.

Silence. Pure and true and scary as hell.

And slowly, Liz hung up.


Back at the jail payphone Darren hung up as well. His sobs turned into his pain. And his pain turned into his misery.


After she hung up, Liz wiped away her tears. She caught her image in the mirror and quickly finished her mascara.

Then she did the only thing she knew to do.

Crinkle. Sprinkle. Flick. Drift. Suck.



Nancy was still strapped down to the wheelchair. The young doctor smiled at her.

“Mrs. Parker, are you alright?”

Nancy couldn’t respond. She could only look. The doctor tried to be positive.

“Mrs. Parker, we’re tried several medications and you don’t seem to be responding. I believe we’ve come to a point where we need to try some alternative methods. We’ve had excellent results with these techniques in the past. So, if I can just get your John Hancock, we’ll get underway…”

The doctor handed Nancy a pen. And somehow, she was able to sign.


Darren was withdrawing in pain on his bunk. Tyler was at the bars, sweating and dying as well.

“Jesus krist. I need a doctor,” Darren panted. His arm throbbed and his heart ached. He wasn’t sure which hurt more.

“My friend needs a doctor! Please. He needs a doctor,” Tyler yelled through the bars.

“I won’t make it,” Darren whispered remorsefully. Tyler turned and stared at his friend.

“Just hand tough. Just hang tough!”

“Please! Please, Liz! Help me!” Darren screamed in pain.

“Help! Please!” Tyler screamed through the bars once again.

“Please, Lizzzzzz!”


Nancy was quickly unstrapped from her wheelchair. She was lifted up and placed onto a gurney. Her head hung, lifeless. Then she was strapped down.


Liz nervously knocked on Big Tim’s front door.

A moment later Big Tim answered with his famous smile and big laugh.

“Perfect little Lizzie.” He grinned leeringly at her. “Welcome…”

So one last part. After that you get the epilogue. Doesn't look like too many people enjoyed this one, but oh well cause I pretty much got rid of She's the One, China Doll, As Lovely as You, and a lot of others. They were bugging me- I didn' know how to finish them, so I threw them into a folder. Maybe one day I'll look at them again. But for now I'm re-working Save Tonight.
posted on 11-Feb-2002 2:30:06 AM
Part 16

Nancy was wheeled quickly through the halls of the asylum. Everything blurred past her.


Tyler tried to keep Darren in line with all the convicts, but Darren could barely stand.

A court doctor, followed by two guards, moved from prisoner to prisoner.

Bored to death, he looked into each prisoner’s eyes with a mini-mag and said, “Can you hear me? Can you see me?”

Each prisoner responded, “Yes, sir.”

Then the doctor checked a box on a piece of paper and said, “Ok for work.”

The guards would chuckle.


Nancy continued her trip on the gurney. Terror entered her heart.


It was Tyler’s turn.

“Can you hear me? Can you see me?” Tyler nodded. But that wasn’t good enough and so one of the guards whacked him in the back of the head.

“Say, “sir”, nigga. God damn Mexican dope fien’ niggas. Learn some manners!” The guard spat in his face.

“Can you hear me? Can you see me?”

“Yes, sir,” Tyler choked out.

“Good boy,” the guard said in amusement. They chuckled and the doctor moved down to Darren.

Darren could barely stand. His eyes were glazed over. His arm throbbed. His heart was shattered. But it was his heart that hurt the worse.

“Can you hear me? Can you see me?”

“Say’s he’s got something wrong with his arm,” the guard answered for him. The doctor yanked Darren’s sleeve up and a flash of lightening like pain shot through Darren.

“Liz!” Darren screamed. He collapsed. The guards laughed at him as they picked him up.

“Your Liz isn’t here,” the guard laughed sinisterly. The doctor looked at Darren’s arm and the guards grabbed their noses and almost yacked from the smell.

“I don’t think you’ll be putting any more dope in that arm,” the doctor laughed.

“Damn, it smells worse than he do,” the guard insisted.

“Better get him over to the hospital. I don’t expect he’ll live out the week,” the doctor suggested as he continued down the line.


Nancy was unstrapped from the gurney. Then she was lifted off the gurney and laid on a table. Next she was strapped to the table.

She tried to struggle but there were too many hands that were too strong.


Liz cringed as she heard about twenty men cheer. She glanced into the room. They were all wearing suits and holding flashlights.

Liz was shocked. She stared up into Big Tim’s knowing smile and then at the cigars in the stranger’s mouths. Next she looked at the male’s clapping hands. And finally her gaze stopped on the empty faces of the five other pretty women checking out Liz.

“They be six of you cuttin’ up an entire piece,” Big Tim whispered to Liz. She looked at him. “An’ it be real good.”

And for some reason, Liz accepted it.

Big Tim smiled.

“Show time.” The men shined their lights on Liz’s clothed tits and privates.


Someone stuck something between Nancy’s teeth. The people around her talked casually and laughed occasionally.

She tried to look around but her body was immobile. She could make out shadows on the edge of her vision, but mostly all she saw were the lights above her.

Then she felt two cold metal discs placed against her temples…


Darren was thrown onto an operating table. His clothes were gone in a blink of an eye.

A serious and focused emergency doctor stepped in.

“We’re taking it off at the shoulder,” the doctor said. “But let’s move here people, otherwise we lose him.”

Darren remained semiconscious as the Anesthesiologist stuck a mask over his face.

Everything started to go white. The emergency doctor started up the circular saw.

And before everything was gone, Darren witnessed the doctor cutting into his shoulder.


Nancy’s heart pounded in her ears. She tried to scream, but a technician interrupted her.

“Ok, ready and one…”


There was nipples, tongues, sex toys, eyes closed in ecstasy, men’s glares, men’s smiles and the like.

Only, the images weren’t sexy, they were scary.

One of the girls held up a double-headed dildo and said, “What should we do now?”

And a pervert screamed out, “Ass to ass, ass to ass!”

Liz complied and the flashlights shone. Then the pervert started to chant.

“Cum! Cum!” The other men joined in as the pace quickened.

“Cum! Cum!” Their voices grew in pace and volume.

Liz was afraid. Then, she closed her eyes. Her lips started to quiver. And Big Tim’s smile grew wider and wider and wider.

And then Liz came.


Nancy’s arched and stiffened body looked as if fire had just shot through her body. Her eyes were almost popping out of her head as her mind screamed.

Then, she settled for a moment on the table. Her heart did not beat and her lungs did not breathe.

A moment later her breath returned. Then the heartbeat slowly emerged. And then, the Technician said, “Ok, ready and two…”


A crow cheered.





Once again Nancy tried to scream in pain. Flames seemed to sear every cell of her body and her bones felt like they were being twisted and crushed.

Smoke simmered off of her hair and skin.

As her body settled, it happened one last time.

“Ok, ready and three…”


The crowd cheered once more.


The pier stretched off into the beautiful sea. A woman in a red dress walked a baby carriage.

Looking healthy and vibrant, Darren watched her. Already he knew it was Liz and he screamed for her.

But she didn’t hear him and she kept walking. He ran after her.

When he got closer he suddenly stopped. Liz turned around. She carried a small baby in her arms. He reached to hug her- to hug them. But, as he did everything turned black.

Darren became terrified. He started to scream for Liz.

“Liz! Liz?!” He stepped backwards, unknowingly, off the edge of a cliff and rushed headfirst into a concrete sidewalk as he screamed, “LIZ!”


An angelic nurse looked down upon Darren. Tubes stuck into every part of him. His eyes were half open.

She wiped the sweat from his brow.

“Liz,” Darren cried.

“It’s alright. Don’t worry. You’re in a hospital and you’re going to be just fine,” the nurse assured him.

“Liz…” Darren sobbed. “Liz.”

“Who’s that? She’ll be sent for. She’ll come,” the nurse promised with a smile. “She loves you and she’ll come.”

Then Darren opened his eyes fully. For a moment he understood. He was an adult and he was calm.


“No?” The nurse looked at Darren with concern.

“No. She won’t,” Darren shook his head slightly as the realization dawned on him. And it hurt. Darren started to cry as he curled into a ball, trying to live with the fact that he would never see Liz or their baby, ever.


Walking away from Big Tim’s house, Liz couldn’t stop herself from throwing up.

Tears streaked her face. And she had lipstick smeared across her face; lipstick that wasn’t her own.

So distraught and vacant, Liz never even heard Max come up behind her.

“Liz?” Max wasn’t even sure if it was her. She looked like death had come over her.

Turning around, Liz broke down crying as soon as she saw Max. So far she had lost Darren, had to do things that she couldn’t even describe, and now Max was with her. Could her night get much worse?

But already Liz knew what she had to do.

Darren was gone. She was pregnant. There was no choice.

“I don’t want to be alone,” Liz whimpered.

Nodding, Max helped Liz up and gingerly picked her up. She was so light that he could hardly even feel her in his arms. He wondered if she knew she was pregnant. He wondered if she cared.

Gone was his bitterness over Liz finding someone else whom she loved. Gone was his hatred of Darren. And gone was his insane jealousy that Liz had made love with someone else.

“Come on, let’s go home…”


Through the door, Max stared at Liz. He watched her pull out a large bag of scag and stare at it. Happily, she fondled the bag. Then, she hugged it tightly against her bosom. And slowly she curled up into a fetal position and began to cry.

All the while Max watched on, unsure of what to do or what to say. So he did the only thing he could do. He left Liz be. He would talk to her tomorrow. He would tell her that he loved her and that he would do anything he could to help her. And finally he would tell her that he would take care of her and her baby.

But all of that could wait.


The pier stretched off into the beautiful sea. A woman in a red dress walked a baby carriage.

Looking healthy and vibrant, Darren watched her. Already he knew it was Liz.

Only this time he didn’t have to scream for her. He didn’t have to run after her either. This time she came to him.

The two hugged and held onto each other, unwilling to leave each other’s embrace.

A smile filled Liz’s beautiful face. Happiness. Total and complete happiness.

Except for the truth. The nagging reality in the back of her mind. It meant tears for Liz and her sparkling eyes welled up with fantastic, warm tears.

But they didn’t damage her glorious smile.

The End...

Ok, so there ya go. After I post the epilogue I will be posting what this was based off of. So rest assured, you will all find out.

Also, I know it wasn't a huge dreamer ending, but wait until the epilogue- you might be a little happier. Maybe? Ah, who knows and who cares. Hope you liked it.
posted on 16-Feb-2002 10:52:57 PM
Part 17: Epilogue

Only save and try to find another way

In the desert was a small memorial to Darren, with an American flag flying beside the tombstone. Standing at the memorial were Max and Liz. Max held a child in his arms, a boy, named Darren.

I’m taking what I gave to you again

“Are you happy?” Max asked quietly as his wife stared down at her ex-fiancee’s grave. It was a genuine question, one which he often asked her. But today was special.

Some new day I could understand your face,

For a moment Liz continued to stare at Darren’s grave in contemplation and grief. Then, she turned and looked over at her mother and father, and she smiled one of her genuine smiles. It was rare and few, which caused Max to smile as well.

you could even hold my hand if you would like to.

Turning back to gaze up at Max, Liz nodded. “I am,” Liz whispered in wonder. She leaned up and placed a chaste kiss on his lips before taking Darren from his arms.

It came up unexpected,

Knowing what needed to be done, Max returned Liz’s kiss and headed back over towards the Parker’s and Evans’.

I had to follow through and it’s hard when you were working like you do.

“How is she?” Nancy and Diane asked urgently. Everyone turned and watched Liz kneel down as she and Darren placed flowers down on Darren’s grave.

It was easy when you were younger

“She’s getting better, but I don’t think she’ll ever be the same again…”

you can put it back together

Back at the grave, Liz smiled down upon her son before glancing at Darren’s grave.

it was there if you ever wanted it

“What do you want to tell your daddy?” Liz asked as she grinned at her son.

but you closed the door and said goodbye for good

“I twee ta-day, dawdy!” Darren said excitedly. Tears welled up in Liz’s eyes at her son’s words. It had taken him so long to speak. But then, she was just grateful to have him.

So this is a mistake

He had been born premature with low birth weight and smaller-than-normal head size. When born, Darren had been hospitalized with round-the-clock nursing, monitors, blood and urine tests, high-tech equipment and social service evaluations.

try to find a better way

When held, he would arch his backs, pull away and cry until he had exhausted himself. The worst problem was that he had the jitters. He cried because he was in pain and suffering. He didn’t even like to be touched.

you were never fond of anything I said.

He spent each moment of his new life struggling through painful drug withdrawals. As did Liz. But both were making significant progress. Liz had stopped using and Darren was growing up in a healthy, drug-free environment.

Can we begin again?

And it was all because of Max. Or, at least a lot of it was.

Save it for another friend

Despite her stubbornness, somehow Max had gotten Liz to let him help her. He had cared for her, helped her get the help she needed, and tried to be everything that she needed and wanted.

I was happy in my life I won’t pretend

But both knew that their relationship would never be what it had. For as much as Liz didn’t want to, she still loved Darren.

“Why don’t you go back to your other daddy, sweetheart. Mommy wants to talk to your real daddy, alone,” Liz whispered. She brushed his hair aside and placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

every time you were expecting to reach out and forgive this

She watched as he scampered off and a smile lit her face. He was so much like Darren with his beautiful blue eyes and soft and caring demeanor.

I was hardened by the look upon your face

But Max was his father. Max was her husband. And she loved him as much as she could.

it was easy when you were younger

For a moment Liz remained silent. She didn’t know what to do or to say. Finally she realized that she had already said everything she needed to. So, instead she remembered their good time together. She remembered all the time they had spent together. She envisioned their son and what a great father Darren would have made. And she remembered their love for one another.

you can put it back together

Kneeling down, Liz kissed her fingers before placing them against Darren’s tombstone. After tomorrow she wouldn’t be able to come back for some time. She and her family were going to Massachusetts where she would be attending Harvard.

it was there if you ever wanted it

“I love you…”

but you closed the door and said goodbye for good… you were easy.

Ok, that's the end. The fic was based off Requiem for a Dream- the unedited version. I definitely recommend seeing it. As for the epilogue, sorry it sucked, but after carefully editing and re-editing, I decided to just give it to you. Lyrics are from Pete Yorn.

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 16-Feb-2002 11:26:59 PM ]