posted on 15-Jun-2002 11:24:04 AM

Title: There Will Be Tomorrow
Author: talena
Disclaimers: Nope, don't own anything, otherwise this story of mine would be a script for an episode. Roswell belongs to Jason Katims and Melinda Mitz.
Category: Crossover (Roswell/Angel and a little Buffy)
Ratings/Genre: PG-13/drama
Summary/Spoilers: Post-Destiny. Liz leaves Max behind to fulfill his destiny, only to find that Fate has its own plans for her.
Author’s Notes: None at the moment, but go on and send me comments! I thrive on them!



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Prologue: Surfacing Nightmares I: Broken Dreams


I’m Liz Parker and five days ago I died- again. Not physically of course, although after all I’ve been through…maybe it would have been better if I really would die…Destiny. I used to think that my destiny was to be with Max. That one day we would marry, have children, and spend the rest of our lives growing old…but he already has a destiny, and it’s not with me. And the one thing that hurts most is the fact that his destiny is with Tess Harding, his destined mate from another lifetime and planet. It broke my heart to leave him that day, but I knew that I had to. I couldn’t stand in the way of his destiny, not when he has a whole race of people who depend on him. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stand myself if I had stood in his way…so I left. I walked away from him, down that cliff with tears trailing behind me and I didn’t even look back. I just couldn’t. Because I knew. I knew that if I had turned back, if I had even a small glimpse of the heartache on his face, my resolve would diminish, so I didn’t look back. As I walked down that cliff, I couldn’t shake the feeling of loneliness and I just knew that things would never be the same again, I just knew it. And as usual I was right, things were never the same again because when I saw him that day, kissing her, I could literally hear and feel my heart shattering into millions of pieces, and the world has seemed to lose it’s light…


Liz’s tears mingled with the ink, leaving stains on the paper of her journal as she wrote. She had never cried so much in her life, but of course she had never felt so alone in her life. And to top it all off, she started having these strange dreams; they were always have the same two nightmares. In the first one, she seemed to be running away from someone and when she turns around to see her pursuer, she would come face to face with a demon-like monster. But the second dream was the one that go to her most; it felt so real, almost like a memory from another lifetime. Liz closed her eyes, and the images from her nightmare came back to her.


Racing through the down the path that would bring her to her house, Chastity stopped short when she saw the flames dancing as they destroyed her home. No! She thought as she ran towards her burning home. Bursting through the open door, she began to search around frantically. Her burgundy-brown eyes looking around her wildly. “Mother! Father!”


Hearing a noise in the other room, she dashed into it, hoping to find anyone in her family. But as soon as she entered the room, the fresh stench of blood greeted her senses, and she tripped over something that lay on the floor. Looking down to see what she had stepped over, her heart stopped as her eyes widened in fear, tears
glistening in her eyes as she gasped. “Father!”


She knelt down and took him into her arms, “Father, please! Wake up!”


Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she begged him to awaken, “Please father! Please…"


Her hand swept across his neck where there were to small punctured holes, and she withdrew her hand to find a little blood there. She looked at her lifeless father and a wail escaped her lips as she scanned the room to find her mother and siblings all in the same state of death. The pain coursed through her body as anguished sobs left her lips. “No!”


She looked up, tears in her eyes as footsteps neared her to see her older brother staring at her. A shiver ran down her spine at his gaze, something was wrong with him. This wasn’t her dear brother; she could feel the dreaded spirit of evilness around him.


A woman suddenly walked up behind him and kissed his neck, wrapping her arms around him. She had never felt as much hatred for anyone until that moment. She watched, terror spreading through her as her brother’s handsome face contorted into a demon’s. “No…” A strangled whisper as she started to back away from him, tears never leaving her eyes. “Stay away from me!”


The woman smiled evilly at her, and kissed her brother again, whispering something into his ear. And suddenly he was moving towards her, and she turned around to run away from him. She ran into the field outside her house, the blood was rushing through her head as she ran, calling for help. She ran until she tripped on something, and she fell forward to land into a pair of strong arms. Looking up, the color drained from her face.


Angelus looked down at the girl in his arms, with a smirk on his face. “Now, now. Why are you running from your beloved brother, Chastity?”


Never in her life had she ever heard such maliciousness from her brother directed to her. He was always gentle and caring to her, but this wasn’t him. This was a demon with her brother’s face, the man who murdered her family. Looking into his cold eyes, she didn’t see any of the tenderness that was usually there when he was with her.


“Please…” She whispered as his tongue ran across her neck. “Don’t…”


Angelus ignored her pleas and bit down into her neck, draining her of her blood. Chastity’s eyes never left his as he did so, and one last tear made its way down her cheeks. And through the darkness that began to cloud her vision, she caught one last sight of the person she loved more than anything, her brother and now her murderer. “Liam…”


And the world faded into darkness as the blood slowly drained from her body.



Liz’s eyes snapped open and the familiar feeling of icy pain stabbed at her like a thousand sharp knives. She welcomed the pain, it was achingly hot but at the same time cold and numbing, but it was all she had left. So she leaned her head against the plane window, watching the scenery pass by beneath as the plane headed towards Florida.


Prologue B- Surfacing Nightmares II: Tormented Souls


‘Yours shall be a tormented soul, wandering the earth, knowing the guilt and pain of your sins.’


His pale brown eyes fluttered open and his gaze fell on the unfamiliar surroundings. The haziness in his mind
blocked out any memory of what had happened and how he got to wherever he was. Moving his aching limbs, Liam slowly stood up, bracing his weight against a nearby tree. After a few moments, his gaze began to clear as the shadowed veil over his eyes lifted, and he noticed first his surroundings. A graveyard? Why am I in a graveyard?


The second thing that registered in his mind was the strong stench of fresh blood, and he looked down at himself. His clothes were torn and rumpled, dirt and dried blood matted his long hair…but what stood out most was the fact that he was covered in fresh blood. What happened?


And suddenly he was hit with a tidal wave of memories as the haziness faded away. Screams pierced the air around him, echoing incessantly in his ears. And he heard, the many pleas of mercy, the cries of pain, all ignored in his bloodthirsty induced mind…now unable to be disregard in his reawakened soul. The overwhelming guilt washed through him and his world faded away as the darkness overtook him.


Many stopped and stared in wonder of the stranger who stumbled along, a cloak blocking the sunlight from his body. Men would shake their heads, muttering about lazy good for nothing males. The young females would whisper amongst themselves of the mysterious stranger, giggling over the possibility of approaching him and wooing him to fall madly in love with them…for even though he wore the cloak, his handsome features were
somehow still visible. The older women would grab their children to keep them from running to the strange man,
and staring at him in wonder themselves.


Then there were those few who were kind enough and brave enough to approach the stranger, offering food and clothing. And those were the few who would stare into his pale brown eyes, gasping upon catching a glimpse at the haunted look in them. Scurrying away frightened, yet also wondering about the outsider’s past and what had caused that look that seemed to be etched onto his face.


Liam however ignored the stares, and kept himself away from everyone for security reason. In case somehow, he would lose control upon the demon inside his heart and attack more innocents. For Liam it had been a long five months since his reawakening and most of his days were spent traveling, trying to find the only home he ever really had. His sleep was filled with nightmares, and every time he would see his victims as death claimed them, and little by little a bit of soul was consumed with overwhelming guilt. When he finally escaped his restless slumber, an image of burgundy eyes, filled with tears of pain, betrayal, and most of all love flashed before his vision. And he would once again travel, the voices echoing in his mind and the visions clouded his vision. And he continued on, his remorse the only thing carrying him on.


Looking down, his vision clouded with tears as he stared at the small headstone. She was the only person who could ever really draw any emotions from him that wasn’t anger or violence. And with his own hands…he had coldheartedly murdered the only person he had ever love, the only person who understood his faults and could see past them to the real person inside.


“Chastity…”


A broken whisper as he sank to his knees, grasping tightly in his hand the only memorabilia, the little piece of his younger sister besides the memories he had left. In his hand he held the small, beautifully carved silver cross he had given her when she was still an infant.


Remember…


‘You can’t catch me! You can’t catch me!’ The soft patter of footsteps echoed in the deep forest accompanied with musical laughter.


Remember…


‘Liam!’


‘I’ll save you Chas, don’t worry. I’ll never let anything happened to you.’ She nodded, nothing but trust and love filling her eyes as he grasped her hand, pulling her over the side of the cliff into the safety of his arms.



Remember…


‘Why do you always do that to father? You know he loves you, and only wants the best.’


‘Best?’ Liam snorted, ‘The only person he cares about his himself…I have no one.’


‘That’s not true.’ Chastity knelt in front of him, clasping his hands in her own, his large ones engulfing her smaller
ones. ‘You’ll always have me. No matter what, I’ll always be with you and I’ll always love you.’



Liam stared down at the graves, the voices of the past swirling around in the air, and he tasted the bitterness of the tears. I’m so sorry… And whatever was left of his heart shattered, and his soul forsaken as he let out a loud pained cry. The soft thundering of the skies, the wailing of the wind, and the gentle lull of the falling rain mingled to form a soft melody of sorrow, playing gently in the air as the soul of a damned man wept beneath the leaves of the weeping willow.


The soft glow of the silvery moon made its way through the heavy black curtains, piercing the otherwise dark room. Angel awoke with a loud scream, one name escaping his lips. Chastity. After all this time, it still hurt to think of her or what he had done to her. Beneath that weeping willow, he had lost the ability to feel, to love, to use his heart. And at the exact moment, the words of the woman who cursed him had entered his mind.


‘Yours shall be a tormented soul, wandering the earth, knowing the guilt and pain of your sins.’


And from that day forward, Liam disappeared from the earth, only to be replaced by Angel, a demon with a soul, living only to atone for his many sins against man.


Not one day passed when he did not think of her. Chastity, his beloved younger sister. A kind-hearted soul who cared for everyone more than herself. A gentle spirit who calmed his raging heart.


‘You’ll always have me. No matter what, I’ll always be with you and I’ll always love you.’


“I’ll always love you too Chastity…” He whispered to the starlit sky, and not but a few moments later did Cordelia
interrupt him.


“Angel!” Angel turned around startled at the urgency in her voice. He grasped her shoulders, “What? What’s wrong Cordy?”


Cordelia continued to speak quickly, forming incoherent sentences until Angel gently shook her, “Slow down. Take a deep breath.” Cordelia did as she was told, “Now, what’s wrong?”


“Faith is dead.” She finally managed.


“What? How?” Angel released Cordelia’s shoulders.


“I don’t know, they just found her in her cell with her neck snapped. Wes just got a call from the Council…a new slayer’s been called.” Cordelia continued as she went into her ramblings, Angel looked back towards the moon. The moonlight caught the small object in his hand, making it glow slightly. Angel held up his sister’s old cross and whispered, “A new slayer?”


Author’s Notes: Sorry this part took so long. To make up for it, this is a long chapter! This part goes back to the day after Destiny to the present day with Liz on the plane. Sorta like a Flashback!


Chapter 1: Going Through the Motions
[Roswell: Post-Destiny- the following week]


I’m Liz Parker and it’s been exactly one week since Destiny. When I walked away from Max that day, there was nothing in my mind except for the fact that I had to get out of there. He has a destiny and no matter how much I want to, I can’t stand in his way. I love him too much to do such a thing. It’s been a painful and exhausting week… for every single day, from opening to closing time; Max would come and sit in his usual booth. And it’s torture, for both of us, but he couldn’t seem to stay away, and I really didn’t want him to.


Sunday: Falling


Liz looked up from her order pad at the exact same moment the bell above the entrance chimed, and she felt the flutter in her heart before it dropped once more. Her eyes strayed from shoes up to lean legs to a muscular chest and finally into the soulful amber eyes of Max Evans. He stepped forward, and she took a step back before tearing her eyes away from his, not wanting to fall deep into those soulful eyes.


Looking over at Maria who was watching the scene with interest, Liz begged her with her eyes to understand, and Maria nodded. Liz escaped into the backroom, tears building in the corner of her eyes. She felt herself falling deeper into the abyss, and this time no one was there to pull her out. No one there to guide her back, and she didn’t even know if anyone one could. Leaning heavily against the wall, she slid to her knees, the tears finally flowing freely. Tears that had formed in her heart the exact same moment she had laid eyes on her love.


Seeing Max for the first time after learning his destiny was pure torture. She wanted to throw herself into his arms and clutch onto him for dear life, never letting him go again. The only thing that kept her from doing so was the memory of what had transpired only hours before, and the destiny and life that Max now led. A life she wasn’t a part of. A life where he was married to one Tess Harding.


With that thought and a heavy heart, Liz Parker stood up; drying her tears and fixing her hair as she began what would be the most hardest task she had encountered yet in her life. Staying away from the only man she would ever love. She was going to stay away from Max Evans. Even if it killed her. Even if she would be miserable for the rest of her life.


Liz stood in front of the doors was like standing in front of the judgment gates for when she walked through those doors, her future would be decided. So taking a deep breath and swallowing back her tears, Liz Parker walked through the back doors to face a future that was no longer so clear.


It’s so hard. To see him every day, and not be able to just walk up to him and give him a hug just because. Or kiss him because he made my day by just being there. To not be able to get lost in his deep eyes, to lose myself in the love that is always there when I look at them. To not be able to whisper how much I love him, how much he means to me. Because I do. I love and need him so much that it hurts to see him. How can we see into each other’s souls, find the love we’ve been waiting for to have it all be over just a few hours later?


Monday: Dealing


Liz sat quietly, thinking, staring at the exact same spot where it had all started, and could not help the tear that
escaped. In her mind’s eye she could see two figures standing alone in the rain. A male and female staring at each other with passion in the air. Finally the male gently grabbed the female’s head and pulled her against him, kissing her soundly. Liz closed her eyes against the scene, trying to rid it from her mind, but to no avail as she began to cry silently. In her mind’s eye this was the moment that Michael had showed up just as she ran away, the rain accenting her heart broken cries. They came all at one time, catching her off guard, pouring over her in a sea of misery. Flashes of the past lingering in her mind.


*Flash*


Max and Tess. Max and Tess kissing in the rain.


*Flash*


Max being tortured in the White Room.


*Flash*


The shooting at the Crashdown.


*Flash*


The night in the abandoned van. The love and desperation.


*Flash*


Max and Isabel’s mother. The Queen of Antar, Max’s planet, speaking.


*Flash*


A desperate plea for help.


*Flash*


The pain and yearning in Max’s face as she ran from him.


Too deep in the pain and misery, she didn’t even hear the gentle, yet urgent voice calling her name until a hand crashed down onto her shoulder, effectively pulling her away from the pain.


“Liz! LIZ!”


Liz started, looking up into the face of her former boyfriend, Kyle Valenti. Another person healed by Max Evans while at the point of death. His eyes were gentle and concerned as he stared down into hers.


“Kyle?” Her voice cracked as she spoke. Kyle nodded and sat down next to her.


“Finally, I’ve been calling you for a while now. Where were you? In Max Evans land again?” He joked, trying to lighten her mood, but only eliciting a half sob and he suddenly found himself with a crying Liz Parker in his arms, face buried in his chest. Kyle, bewildered only stroked her hair, whispering softly in her ear words of comfort that did nothing to soothe her. After moments, Liz finally calmed down and pulled away from Kyle, wiping at her face in embarrassment.


“I’m sorry.” She whispered quietly as she turned to face him.


“No problem.” Kyle answered feeling suddenly uncomfortable. He had been on his way to the Crashdown, when he had seen Liz sitting on a bench, staring off into the distance with a lost expression. Feeling a tug at his heart, and whether it had been from his years of dating her or years of growing up with her, he instinctively walked over to her wanting to rid her face of that expression. Now as he sat next to her, he felt nothing but tense concern. He turned to her, “Did Evans do something to you? I’ll pound him for you.”


Kyle offered, half-joking, half serious. Seeing a smile appear on Liz’s face, he relaxed considerably. He turned her face towards him, and looked into her eyes as he asked her what was wrong. Looking back into his eyes, she saw the concern of a childhood friend, and everything just burst forward, letting everything out.


When she was done, Kyle had his arm around her in a comforting embrace. “How are you holding up Lizzie?”


Liz just shook her head, a little amused. “I should be asking you the same thing. How are you dealing with all this…alien business?”


Kyle shrugged his shoulder, “I’m dealing. Dad told me all he knew about them. Evans did save my life, and I do owe him.” Again he shrugged as he pulled her closer, letting her lean her head on his shoulder. “Don’t avoid my question Lizzie, how are you holding up?”


Liz shrugged also, “It’s hard, and it hurts…but I’m dealing.”


Kyle smiled slightly at her brave front and nodded as they watched the sun set, and the first stars appear in the night sky. “We’ll deal with it together, ok?”


Feeling a nod of agreement, Kyle smiled knowing he had his childhood friend back.


Surprisingly Kyle has been very supportive. He was there when I needed him, and continued to be there, asking nothing in return. If anything good can come of this, it would be the fact that I have my Kyle back. My childhood friend who had become distant. It wasn’t always easy, and Kyle wasn’t always there. It was so hard especially with Max coming in everyday. Because of Destiny I had lost Max and whatever friendship I had with Michael and Isabel…I never thought I would lose my best friends too. Alex and Maria, my best buds, my rock, my support…I lost them too. While I had given up on Max, Maria and Alex had refused to stay away from Michael and Isabel. All of them would go out, becoming closer, leaving me in my misery. Maria believes that I gave up too easily, and Alex thinks that I had done the right thing because he had gotten to know Tess, and likes her. I have no control anymore, my world, my foundation is spiraling out of control, and I’m losing everyone. How much longer do I have to wait before I lose everything?


Tuesday: Lingering Sorrow


Liz looked up as Maria came crashing into the back room a smile stretched wide across her face, humming happily. Liz didn’t look at her as she undressed, pulling her uniform off, “You’re late.”


Liz’s voice was cold and distant, but Maria took no notice of it and she began to babble. “I was with Michael, Alex, Isabel, Max, and Tess. We were having a picnic, and we lost track of time.” She explained, but did not apologize.


“Your shift started two hours ago Maria.” Liz interrupted her. Maria finally heard the coldness and anger in Liz’s
voice and turned to see Liz’s back to her, not even looking at her.


“What the hell is your problem?” Maria asked annoyance clearly etched on her features.


Liz stiffened, all the anger, pain, sorrow, and spiraling emotions of the past few days surfaced along with the newly found energy and she snapped.


“My problem? MY PROBLEM?!” She whirled around angrily, “My problem is that you were out having fun and kissing up to Tess and the Czechs to care that your best friend is stuck in a diner full of people waiting to be served with only one waitress. Do you know how many lewd men I had to fight off today? Or how many dishes I broke and orders I got wrong while trying to run around?”


She took a deep breath and continued, “My problem is the fact that my two best friends are too busy with their fucking spouses to fucking care about how their “best friend” is! Did you even know how much pain I’ve been in? Where were you while I was crying my heart out?” Liz demanded, and seeing the expression on Maria’s face, she continued, “Exactly! You were too busy with your boyfriend and befriending that bitch to even care about your old friends!”


By this point Maria had also lost her patience and she slapped Liz, yelling also.


“Me? Selfish?! That’s rich! Take a look in the mirror! Pain? Sorrow? Hah! Well you deserve it! You walked away from Max that day! You gave up! You didn’t fight! Don’t you know how many times Isabel and I had to comfort him all because of you! Did you see how much pain he was in? No, because you were too wrapped up in your own little world to notice! Excuse me for wanting Michael and the Czechs in my life. Excuse me for wanting to get to know Tess! Alex and I are just trying to keep our relationship with Isabel and Alex. We didn’t give up. We didn’t walk away! You deserve it! And the only person I can see that is a bitch right now is you! I’m so glad that Max is moving on with Tess. She deserves him.” Maria ranted; unaware of how Liz had clamped her hand over her mouth after she had yelled at Maria. Liz listened, rubbing her cheek and watching as her world crumbled before her once more.


Maria stopped ranting to see a pale-faced Liz staring at her with wide glistening eyes. She gasped, realizing what she had said and done, and for the first time saw the raw pain in Liz’s eyes, barely contained in those dull depths. But her stubbornness and thoughtless anger regretted none of the things she had said.


Liz turned away from Maria, not wanting her to see the tears in her eyes.


“I don’t know who you are Liz Parker, but I don’t care. I don’t want to know you anymore.” Maria declared as she
pushed through the doors and walked into the restaurant.


Liz watched her through her mirror, tears falling silently.


“I did see his pain Ria. Because I could feel it right here.” Liz whispered softly to the air, her hand covering her
breaking heart. Running quickly to the bathroom, Liz vomited up the contents of her empty stomach, tears never ceasing.


Maybe Maria was right. Perhaps I was being selfish. Max had moved on with Tess. Her words had hurt me more than anything could. I never meant to argue with Maria, but I let my feelings get the better of me, and now I am truly alone. Three days since destiny, seventy-two hours since my life began spiraling out of control. These past days, I’ve watched as everyone became closer, watching, as they were happy and carefree as if Destiny didn’t exist. Maybe Maria was right. Maybe this time I am the wrong one.


Wednesday: Crumbling


Jeff Parker looked over at his wife in concern as they both watched their daughter walk around mechanically. For the past few days they had watched as Liz slowly declined into depression. Since they had walked into her room on Sunday morning to find her covered in dirt with tears streaming down her face, they had kept an eye on her.


They watched as she walked through each day, going through motions, yet not even acknowledging the things she was doing. She was silent, and only spoke when necessary. At dinner she would barely eat the food set before her, instead keeping quiet and staring blankly ahead of her. She had been doing so a lot lately.


On Monday they had found her out on her balcony staring at the stars, with tears streaming down her face as she clutched a photo of her friends and herself in her hands. However, she would not talk about whatever had put her into such a state.


What was even stranger was the fact that she seemed to always be alone. That was strange in itself because she usually would have either Maria or Alex with her whenever she felt depressed. The only conclusions they could draw were that she had broken up with Max by the way she avoided him, and the yelling they had heard yesterday told them that she was fighting with Maria.


Today they watched she walked around in a daze, spilling and breaking things. Bumping into tables and tripping over chairs. Her face was pale, her hair hung dead in her ponytail, and the light in her eyes faded. Jeff made a sudden move as Liz clutched at a table to keep from falling.


Another thing was the stomach flu she had been fighting since Saturday. She fainted many times already, and they often entered her room in the morning to hear her retching in the bathroom. She was even thinner than before and was going to the point where her already small uniform was becoming too large for her.


Nancy watched as Liz again clutched at a table to keep from fainting, her eyes glazing and sweat visible on her
white skin. Rushing to her daughter’s side, Nancy placed a supportive arm around Liz.


“Sweetie, I think you should go lie down. Take the rest of the day off, you’re all hot.” Before Liz could protest,
Nancy began pulling her towards the back, sharing a glance with her husband as she led a submissive Liz to her room.


She helped her change out of her uniform, seeing Liz sway uneasily on her feet. Nancy tucked Liz into bed and kissed her forehead, “Feel better sweetheart.”


And she tried to walk away, but Liz’s arm had shot out to grab hers.


“Mom,” She rasped, “I’m sorry for everything. For hurting you and not talking to you. I’m sorry for creating this rift
between us.”


Liz was becoming hysterical, and Nancy, bewildered sat down on the bed pulling Liz into her arms as her daughter sobbed, “It’s ok sweetie. I forgive you.”


After a few moments, mother pulled away from daughter, and pushed her back down onto the bed. “Sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up. I won’t leave you.” Nancy promised, seeing the fear disappear from Liz’s eyes as soon as the words left her mouth. She began to hum a tune that Liz’s Grandma Claudia used to sing to her when she was younger, and soon Liz’s eyes fluttered close, signaling her surrender to slumber.


A few hours later, Jeff Parker entered his daughter’s room to see his two favorite females. “Nancy?”


Nancy turned to her husband with tears in her eyes, and Jeff was at her side, pulling her into his arms. “I don’t
know what to do Jeff. She’s like a lost little girl. My baby is hurting so much and I don’t know how I can help her!”


Tears were streaming down her eyes, and Jeff pulled her closer, “I know sweetie. I wish I knew what to do…we’ll
figure something out. We’ll get our Lizzie back. I know it.”


Comforting words were unheard by lost ears as they watched over their crumbling daughter.


I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve never felt so lost and alone. It feels like everyone I’ve ever loved and
needed has walked away from me. And in some ways that’s what has happened. My friends abandoned me to be with their loves, and my love has left me for another. I never knew it would hurt this much when I gave in to
destiny. With all this pain and sorrow in the air, I wonder if what I’m doing is worth it all. Is it worth to see my world die before my eyes? Is it worth it to feel so alone? Is Destiny worth this?



Thursday: Awakening


Liz ignored the table full of teenagers, Czechs and humans alike as she walked about the diner. For the past few days, Max and Maria…and well everyone else had avoided and ignored her for whatever their reasons, and Liz was both glad and saddened by this.


Glancing over at the counter she saw Kyle watching her and she smiled at him. He had been a wonderful friend the past week. She was glad to have him otherwise she surely would have done something she regretted. Looking over at her reflection she noted how pale and gaunt she had become, and it seemed right. Her appearance fitted her mood. She knew that Kyle and her parents were worried about her, and she grieved to cause them such worry, but she couldn’t help it. Looking back over at the table she caught Maria’s eye whom turned away as soon as their eyes locked.


Liz frowned pushing away the pang, letting herself sink into the cold, numbing, nothingness. She had woken up this morning to no pain in her heart, no tears in her eyes, only the loneliness and the numbness remained.


Her dreams had been restless, filled with demons and death, scaring her to the point of her waking up screaming. After the nightmare, she couldn’t seem to fall asleep again. So she had gone for a walk, feeling eyes on her the whole time. Even now as she moved around the diner, she could still feel those eyes. A shiver passed through her when she realized that only cold anger and hatred seemed to radiate from the eyes that watched her so. Every time she had looked up, she wouldn’t see anyone watching or staring at her, and this confused her even more.


“Would you like a refill?” Liz asked a young woman, holding out the pitcher of water. The woman nodded, and Liz felt a chill go through her at the woman’s penetrating gaze. She smiled as she began to walk away, but the woman grabbed her wrist and Liz felt herself disappear into a dream-like state.


‘Where is he?’


She watched as her father paced around angrily. ‘It is too late to be out now.’


‘Father, please. Calm yourself. This is not good for your health.’ She tried to soothe her agitated father to no avail.


‘Calm? How can I be calm? He is purposely doing this! Your good for nothing older brother is a poor excuse of a
Catholic gentleman. Partying and drinking every night.’


‘Father, I’m sure he’s on his way home right now. If you would like, I’ll go search for him!’


‘Chastity, do not be naïve. Your idiotic brother has probably passed out drunk somewhere.’


‘Father! Please! I’ll go fetch him.’ With that Chastity was out the door before her father could stop her.



After a few hours of searching, but not finding her brother, Chastity returned to the trail that would lead her home. Walking along the trail, she stopped short once she saw flames dancing in the distance, and she broke into a dead run towards her home.


Liz gasped and the pitcher in her hand slipped to the floor. Liz watched the glass as it hit the floor, splitting into several pieces, and in her eyes she saw the image of malicious brown eyes staring evilly at her with nothing but hatred.


“Liz!” Kyle was at Liz’s side as she began to sway. His arms were around her, keeping her steady and she stared at him with a look of abandonment in her eyes, “He promised. He promised never to leave me, and he did. He left me.”


And those brown eyes were the last thing she saw before she passed out, the scar above her eye now a bright crimson with blood from a new cut.


These dreams are so unnerving, they feel so real. The pain I feel from them feels so raw. But it also feels as if a part of my life that had been missing is finally…I don’t know… I just feel more complete now. Strangely these dreams complete me somehow. With everything that has been going on, it’s all I have left.


Friday: Farewell
[Present Day]


Kyle and Liz stood side by side staring at the gate before them. Both saddened as they waited for the flight
announcement. Liz was absently playing with her hair, weaving it around her finger, pulling at it in attempt to keep her mind away from the moment at hand. Kyle was standing next to her, shifting from foot to foot.


“It’s better this way. You know?” Liz said suddenly, turning towards him finally.


Kyle nodded in agreement.


“I mean with you going to football camp in a few days, I won’t have anyone…and I can’t be here by myself you know?”


Kyle nodded again, saddened.


“It’s not like we won’t see each other again.” Liz lied through her teeth, already in her mind was a plan to stay in Florida and never return to Roswell. Especially with her circumstances.


Kyle nodded again, and Liz frowned. “Come on Kyle, say something. You’re weirding me out.”


Kyle looked up at the teasing tone in her voice to see the smile on her face, which caused him to smile. This was the first time he had seen the old Liz Parker in such a long time. Sweet, smiling, and kind Liz Parker. Kyle wanted to knock Max Evans around for doing what he had done to Liz. Kyle knew Liz had seen Max kiss Tess the day before, and it seemed a coincidence that Liz would faint just a few moments later. Thinking back to the day before, he remembered how fearful he had been to see her small figure fall to the floor.


He had carried her up to her room and stayed with her until she awoke three hours later. He had been so afraid.
She had stayed in the same position unmoving and unflinching with a weak pulse. He had never been so scared before in his life. He didn’t want to lose Liz now that he had just gotten her friendship back.


Liz unconsciously moved her hand up to her newly opened scar, wincing as it stung her. Her mind went back to the following week and for the first time in a long while it seemed as if she had awakened from the pain filled trance she had slipped into after that day on the cliff. Last night she had stayed up, thinking back at the past year, and she found that she regretted none of it. And she found something stronger than Destiny, and that was Fate. Fate made things happen for a reason, and all this pain was for a reason.


“Boarding call for Flight 511 to Miami, Florida.” The voice over the loudspeaker broke her thoughts and Liz looked
over at Kyle a smile on her face.


“That’s me.” Kyle pulled her into an embrace, “Take care of yourself Parker. I expect to see you in two months in one piece ok?”


Liz nodded against his chest and leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek, “Bye Kyle.”


She pulled away and walked towards the gates to her awaiting plane. As soon as she disappeared from Kyle’s
view, a tear escaped her eyes, which she wiped away angrily as she searched found her seat. Sitting down, she leaned against the glass window, contemplatively staring at the runway.


She barely noticed when the plane made its way into air, but just as Roswell disappeared from her sight, the mask she had put up crumbled as tears poured down her cheeks. She watched as she moved further and further away from Roswell, away from her home, away from Liz Parker, and in her mind she said farewell to her old life. She said farewell to Liz Parker.


She continued to sob as her hand rested on her stomach, and that empty and lonely feeling swept through her stronger than ever as she flew towards an unknown destiny. She felt a warm tingling on her stomach where her hand rested and she looked down, tears falling harder.


Two days ago I received what was supposed to be happiest news of my life. I’m supposed to be so joyful and thankful. He is supposed to be with me now, and we’re supposed to be happy and in love…but I’m so alone. How did it get to this point? Why am I not happy? Glowing? Damnit! I’m pregnant with Max Evans’s baby…and I’ve never felt so alone in my life.


[ edited 15time(s), last at 2-Nov-2002 12:21:43 PM ]
posted on 16-Jun-2002 5:55:34 AM



Chapter 2: Spiraling Out of Control


It’s getting too intense, these flashes…these memories, and it hurts just to remember what exactly I’ve given up. What I gave up for not only me, but for my baby girl. That’s right, I’m having a girl. How do I know? I’m not sure really, but as soon as I realized that she existed, she connected to me. Like Max and I always did, except my connection to her is stronger than any I ever had with Max. I’ve never written so much in this journal than I have in the last few days…I guess it’s because in this one week, my life turned completely upside down, and people I thought I could always count on…abandoned me. My little girl’s father is now sleeping with his former wife…oh god; this sounds like some horrible soap opera. One Alien to Love or All My Alien. Oh great, I’m beginning to compare my life to soap operas…I need to get some sleep...


Liz sighed as she carefully tucked her journal into her carry-on bag. It had been a tiring hour, and she still had a few hours left before she would be in Florida. No matter what she did, she couldn’t get the memories out of her head, or the passionate emotions that came with every memory.


Add to her growing lists of frustration was the fact that she still felt those eyes watching her, but not only that…she also had this restless feeling in her stomach, an apprehension and it was causing distress to her and her baby. So a little nap wouldn’t hurt her. With this thought, Liz slipped quietly into the world of dreams; a hand lay protectively over her stomach, caressing her baby. Not a moment passed where she didn’t feel like she was being watched.


Liz’s Dream


::Flash::


‘Max? Max!’ Liz stooped down next to the tired form of Max, and embraced him slightly. She saw the fatigue in his eyes, and heard his labored breathing. He looked up at her, his eyes flashing with sorrow.


‘I can’t make it Liz. Get out of here. Just leave me.’ He rasped out hoarsely. Liz shook her head vehemently, ‘No! I came for you Max Evans, don’t think I’m going to leave without you.’


Looking around quickly, she spotted a run down van several yards away from them. ‘Come on Max. We can hide in that van.’


She grasped his waist tightly as she pulled him up, and together they struggled to the van.


::Flash::


‘I’m sorry for dragging you into this.’ He whispered as he caressed her cheek gently. Tears formed in her eyes as she gazed into his amber eyes, aglow with love for her.


‘You didn’t drag me anywhere…without you, I wouldn’t be alive today.’ She murmured as she held him closer, still looking into his eyes, she whispered softly, ‘The day you saved me, I began to live Max.’


‘I love you Max Evans.’


::Flash::


‘I love you too. I don’t care about anything else. All that matters to me is that you, Liz you complete me. You make me human…you’re my life. I know I don’t deserve you…after the way I’ve treated you…but…’


::Flash::


‘It’s ok Max. We’re in this together now. We’ll find a way to heal.’


::Flash::


A searing kiss, penetrating through their hearts and minds as they began to glow a soft silver.


::Flash::


Kisses growing more and more urgent.


Hearts and souls beginning to connect.


A soulful gaze, questioning.


A small nod of approval.


::Flash::


One by one, clothing being discarded as they discovered newer heights.


Hands hastily exploring. Kisses grew more sloppy, more frantic.


Bodies molding together, as if sculpted for one another by the hands of Fate, heated flesh against heated flesh. His hard young body seeking fulfillment in her soft and supple one.


::Flash::


She was moaning softly as he pushed her to newer and newer experiences.


He was groaning at her responsiveness, holding onto that last thread of control, all exhaustion now gone.


::Flash::


Positioning himself above her, Max paused, giving Liz one last chance to stop before he lost all control.


::Flash::


Amber eyes glowed with hesitation and lust, but above all else, love.


Doe eyes glowed with trust, passion, and love that equaled his.


::Flash::


Awe as he began to fill her slowly, deliciously, completely.


Pain as he broke through her virginal barrier, filling her wholly.


Love as he gently maneuvered his hands between their joined bodies to heal her, taking away her pain.


Pleasure at the feel of him entirely inside her, giving her a new sense of completeness.


::Flash::


Their connection was never so open, and he felt it all and answered with his own storm of emotions.


Awe as he slowly pushed into her, finally feeling the warmth that was Liz around him, surrounding and healing him.


Pain as he broke through her barrier, instantly feeling her pain, and taking it as his own. The hot searing pain tearing through his heart.


Love as he gazed down into her trusting eyes, healing her, effectively taking away their pain.


Pleasure as her walls tightened around him, making him feel like he was finally whole, and he never felt more at home or at peace.


::Flash::


Liz began to thrust her hips experimentally, causing Max to groan and to start his thrusts, slowly at first.


::Flash::


They led each other to the ancient rhythm, giving and receiving as they pushed each other to that climatic end.


::Flash::


Moans escaping her mouth as she encouraged him on with the thrusting of her hips.


Grunts as he sped up.


::Flash::


Harder….faster… deeper…harder…faster...deeper…harder…faster…deeper.


::Flash::


He slowed his movements when he realized her eyes were tightly closed, and concern immediately etched his features, fear that he was hurting her. Her eyes opened as she looked up at him, caressing his cheek with her hand.


‘Heal me Max. I love you so much. Heal me.’


::Flash::


They were standing together at the edge of the unknown, something much deeper, and together they stumbled over into ecstasy.


::Flash::


I love you Liz Parker. Nothing else matters.


::Flash::


You are the Royal Four…


::Flash::


The prophecy has begun…the child has been conceived. Lord help us all.


::Flash::


It doesn’t matter! I love you Liz!


::Flash::


We love tough ones don’t we Angelus?


::Flash::


Liam…


::Flash::


Two illusions, a golden man and a silvery woman, staring at her. They clasped their hands together, and together spoke, their voices enchanting her.


…the place of angels is where all shall be revealed…go there and do not fear the one fallen angel…


Their clasped hands began to glow a bright white light, as did her being and they spoke again, screaming almost


… travel to the land of angels and your destiny shall be clear…



Liz’s eyes snap opened, and she gasped, laying a hand on her swiftly beating heart. Her mind still reeling from the onslaught of memories her dream had brought.


“Excuse me miss?” Someone clasped her on the shoulder, and Liz shied away from the wrinkled hand, and came face to face with an elderly woman.


“Are you alright sweetie? Are you bleeding? Should I call the flight attendant?” The elderly woman asked, and Liz restrained the shudder that threatened her being at the odd tone in the woman’s voice. That was when she noticed the stinging of the scar above her eye, and the blood that was dripping from there.


“No, thank you. I’m fine. I’ll just head to the bathroom and get cleaned up. It was just a nightmare.” She quickly unbuckled her seatbelt, and headed to the back, wanting for some reason or the other to get away from that woman.


The elderly woman watched the young brunette race away, and a devious smile crossed her face, and her eyes held a yellowish tint as she hissed, “Soon child…soon.”


======


“So what did the Council say? Any specifics? Come on Wes, don’t leave us hanging here!” Cordelia exclaimed loudly causing Gunn to cover his ears, and Angel, who had been sitting quietly, listening and brooding, to wince slightly.


“Calm down Cordelia. The Watcher Council has informed me that a new slayer has been called. They have rehired me to train her, and they want me to leave right away.”


“Well where does she live? Where do we get to go for vacation? Who is she? Do you know her name?” Cordelia asked excitedly.


“Yes, yes. The new slayer seems to be a Miss Elizabeth Claudia Parker of Roswell, New Mexico. She is currently sixteen years of age, and should be starting her junior year in fall.” Wesley informed, reading the information he had written down.


“Roswell, New Mexico? Ick. Couldn’t they have picked a place…well I don’t know that isn’t so sandy or hot?” Cordelia complained then brightened at the prospect of having another female around. Not that she wasn’t enjoying Angel, Wesley, and Gunn’s company, but there were some things you could only do with a girl. “Oh well, maybe I’ll meet a hot alien. So when do we leave?”


“Well, I should be leaving right away…” Wesley however was interrupted from a slight yelp, and he looked over at Angel.


Angel had snatched the cross that he had been wearing around his neck away, and they could see the fresh marks of the shape of the cross burned into his skin. Cordelia went into mother hen mode as she stormed over to Angel, and took the cross away from his fingers.


“Why are you wearing this? Did you or did you not forget that vampires cannot play with crosses…nonetheless wear them?” She snapped as she held the cross up to inspect it. “Ok, it’s beautiful and all, but it’s not worth getting burned over is it?”


Angel, who had recovered from his shock, was trying to retrieve the precious item from her, but to no avail as Cordelia held it out of his reach.


“I was never burned before when I wore it. It was the only cross that I could hold.”


Cordelia frowned and examined it closer, “Why? What’s so special about it? I mean it’s pretty and all, but…”


“It belonged to my sister. She gave it to me before she died.”


Cordelia stopped, and stared at him. It was the first time he had really talked about his past, and she caught the sorrow and love in his eyes, along with the familiar guilt when he spoke of his sister. She handed him the cross, and to their amazement, it didn’t affect him in any way. Angel said nothing as he slipped the chain around his neck.


Suddenly Cordelia doubled over in pain, and she clutched her head.


“Cordy!” Angel caught her before she fell over, and picked her up and laid her onto a chair.


A small space…it looked like the bathroom of a plane.


A petite brunette looking into the mirror.


A bag…the tag reading Parker.


The mirror suddenly shattering, the screams of the brunette echoing … a bright silver glow…then darkness.



Cordelia sat up with a gasp, and Gunn handed her a glass of water, which she drank carefully, letting the liquid soothe her suddenly dry throat.


“Are you ok? What did you see?” Angel asked as he smoothed away her hair. Cordelia looked towards Wesley and asked urgently, “Did they give you a description?”


“What?”


“The new slayer. Do you know what she looks like? A picture, anything.”


“Yes, of course.” Wesley dug through the envelope he had been sent and pulled out a picture. “ Here.”


Cordelia took one look at the picture, and her face grew paler. It couldn’t be.


“What did you say her name was again?”


“Elizabeth Parker…Cordelia, what’s going on?”


She gasped, and a vision of the tag on the small backpack came to her mind. Parker…Elizabeth Parker. “Oh my God!”


======


Liz stood in front of the mirror, gasping quietly as she tried to slow her breathing. But her the scenes from her dreams kept haunting her.


::Flash::


The prophecy has begun…the child has been conceived. Lord help us all.


::Flash::


We love tough ones don’t we Angelus?


::Flash::


Liam…


::Flash::


Two illusions, a golden man and a silvery woman, staring at her. They clasped their hands together, and together spoke, their voices enchanting her.


…the place of angels is where all shall be revealed…go there and do not fear the one fallen angel…


Their clasped hands began to glow a bright white light, as did her being and they spoke again, screaming almost


… travel to the land of angels and your destiny shall be clear…


::end flashes::


What did it all mean? The unearthly couple? The place of angels? What did that mean? My Destiny shall be clear? This is so confusing. Who is the fallen angel? Why am I talking to myself? Agh!



Liz let out a frustrated cry, sending her things flying everywhere. Sighing once more, she got down and started to pick everything up. Once she was done, she stood up again, and turned the water on, splashing her face with the cool liquid.


Abruptly, she heard a low rumbling sound, then the screams of many of the passengers. Panicking, she grabbed at the door to the bathroom, and tried to yank it open, but it was stuck. She tried again, but it wouldn’t budge.


Gasping loudly, she ran back to her bag, trying to find something that could help her. But before she could find anything, a bright light surrounded her, blinding her and she screamed as she heard the sounds of an explosion. Her last thought was of her daughter before she blacked out and fell into the realm of unconsciousness.


======


“Hey Kyle, have you seen Liz?” Maria called as she sat down next to him, with the remainder of the pod squad standing behind her.


“Why?” Kyle asked, suddenly going onto defensive mode, as his protective side kicked into over drive.


“Whoa, chill Kyle I just want to see her.” Maria explained, “We all do.”


Kyle stood up and glared at her, “Why? So you could yell at her again? Or do you just want to slap her again?”


Maria shrunk back under his accusing glare, and Michael rose to her defense.


“Lay off her Valenti.”


“Ohh is Mr. Alien Man defending his little human girl? What now Ria? Too afraid to admit you were wrong? That you all were wrong?” Kyle mocked as he glared at them all. He couldn’t help, seeing how they had treated her, and Liz’s pain. Maria was beginning to tear up, and Michael reacted. “I mean it Valenti. Lay off. Just tell us where Liz is so we can talk to her.”


“Why should I? So you guys could rip her heart out and stomp all over it? So you could take away whatever’s left of her sanity. Or did you want to completely ruin her life?” He looked from Maria, to Max, to Tess, and back to Max.


“I stepped back so you could be with her. I trusted you to take care of her.” He sneered, as he stood up in front of Max, not intimidated by Max’s taller stature, or alien powers for that matter.


“Forget it Evans, I’m not letting you hurt her again. Oh…I guess you didn’t notice that she was hurting, huh? Do you know how hard it was for her to let go of you? Guess you didn’t because you just walked all over her and her heart. I don’t know how she could have trusted you so much, loved you so much. She protected all of you so, sacrificed so much, and you repay her by stomping all over her feelings. You disgust me, and as for where she is, well she’s somewhere else. Somewhere you can’t see or hurt her. I’m leaving, suddenly I don’t feel so hungry anymore.”


Kyle finished and he stalked over to the counter to where Nancy was working, leaving them all behind in shock, and the guilt flooded through them as they all saw in each of their minds, the times they had seen Liz. Thin, and pale, with that unending sorrow shining through her eyes.


“What have I done?” Maria exclaimed as she collapsed in shock, not recovering from Kyle’s outburst. For the first time, she saw in her mind the pain Liz had been in, and it hurt her so much. She saw it all , but she had ignored it because of her pettiness. Guilt was raw in her as tears escaped her eyes. Michael was next to her, comforting her.


Kyle watched from where he was talking to Nancy, as the group of teens all stood guilt and regret clearly radiating through them. Good. He thought, they deserved every thing they were feeling and more for what they had done to his Lizzie.


“Nancy!” Jeff Parker’s panicked voice reached to them from the backroom, and the urgency in it caused not only Nancy and Kyle to run towards the back, but also the pod squad.


Jeff Parker was sitting in front of the television, his face ashen white as he stared at the screen. The remains of an airplane were seen, and the explosion that caused it was also shown along with the words. Flight 511 to Miami, Florida exploded not more than ten minutes before. No survivors found.


Max stood and stared at the television, seeing the fiery explosion over and over as it replayed, but not comprehending until Nancy Parker’s voice uttered those words that sent him into oblivion.


“Oh my God! Jeff, that’s Lizzie’s flight!”


posted on 16-Jun-2002 5:56:10 AM



Chapter 3a: Unspoken Grief


Flight 511 from Roswell, New Mexico was on its way to Miami, Florida that fateful afternoon…


The passengers of this flight could not have known that this would be their last day...


They boarded the plane, unaware of the danger ahead…


Federal agents have been called to the site of the explosion…


No evidence has been found of what might have caused this tragic explosion…


Coast guards have been searching day and night in hopes of finding traces of any survivors…


No leads on what may have caused this flight to crash…


No survivors have been found…


…as the search continues, we hold the victims in our hearts, and pray for those who may have survived…


…three weeks since this awful tragedy…


…remains of the plane found in the waters of the Gulf…


…Our deepest sympathy for the families and loved ones of the victims, please know that you are in our prayers...


…we have received a list of passengers from this misfortune…we hold their memory in our hearts and pray for them in the next life…


…Adams, Melissa. Houston, TX.


...Mr. and Mrs. Huddleston. Roswell, NM


… Langer, Brian. Miami, FL


...Norris, Lacey. Roswell, NM


…Parker, Elizabeth. Roswell, NM


…this beautiful tribute for the innocent victims of Flight 511 was held today as many gathered at the coasts of the Gulf, sending out candles on floats and throwing flowers into the deep waters…


…hopes of finding survivors are dwindling…


…God bless the victims and their loved ones…



========


Two months. Six weeks. Sixty-one days. No matter how one referred to that specific length of time, all would have to agree that that was a long time. But for the city of Roswell, New Mexico, time had seemed to stop completely as the days wore on, and the search for any surviving victims continued. But for a certain group of teens and a grieving family, time seemed to move to quickly. Because each day that went by, the hope of finding their friend or daughter, slowly vanished, and as the sun rose each day, with its beauty, the truth became more apparent. She was gone.


========


Searing pain, so unbearable shooting through him as memories flashed in his mind. Kyle Valenti, uncrossed his legs and sat up, frustrated and miserable. Even Buddha could not help in keeping his mind focused. Screw meditation. Kyle thought bitterly. How could he find inner peace when he had just lost one of his best friends, almost sister?


Kyle…I don't think we should see each other anymore.


He had lost her back then. She had broken up with him to only turn around and run into Max Evans's arms. He hadn't let her go then, and now he knew why. Because he couldn't. Liz Parker was the only girl he ever loved, and up until then, he couldn't see that his love for her was merely a brotherly affection. It had started the first time he had met her.


Flashback


A little boy stood in the shades of an old tree, his head bent, so that others could not see his tears. They would have teased him for being a baby. Crying at his age. But they didn't understand, they didn't know what it was like to lose their mother. They didn't understand how much it hurt. So lost in his grief, he didn't hear her soft footsteps nor did he see her approach until he saw them hem of a purple dress, and his eyes trailed up the figure to meet the warmest doe eyes he had ever seen, and for a moment he thought that they had a burgundy tint to them. Standing in front of him was a small little girl, about his age, but shorter than he, her eyes looking over him curiously.


"Are you ok?" Her voice was soft and gentle, no mockery present. Kyle was surprised. She was truly concerned for him, and now as he stared at her, his eyes filled with tears, and he duck his head in shame.


But her sweet voice carried to him, "It's ok to cry." He looked up to see her looking up at the sky, sort of in longing. "Grandma Claudia says that your tears are like the rain. When the earth has suffered because of the things we do to it, the rain comes and heals the land with its cool touch. Just like tears heal your soul."


Snapping back to reality, she turned to him and held out her hand. "I'm Liz."


"Kyle."


End Flashback



Even then she had been wise, even for her full five years of living. And when he had taken her hand, she had taken his love. When Max took her away, Kyle couldn't let go of that constant love, and …well began to stalk her in a way.


And here he was now, crying even his old age, but this time he wasn't ashamed. Tears heal your soul. That's what she had told him back then. Back then she had helped him, had held out her hand in his grief. But now she was gone, no longer able to aid him. Just like he had lost his mother all those years ago, he had now lost his sister, but this time…this time no one was holding his hand, giving him the strength to surpass the sorrow.


=======


Jim Valenti stood in the doorway, watching as his grown son, who hadn't really shed a tear since his mother's death; break into tears over the memory of his lost friend. Kyle wasn't the only Valenti that had lost someone in Liz; Jim was also at lost. Liz Parker was like the daughter he had always wanted, the daughter that he had lost when he had lost his wife.


Flashback


It had been a few weeks since his wife's untimely death and funeral. She had died giving birth to their daughter, who in the end did not survive and had joined her mother. Kyle had been hit harder than he, refusing to eat and crying all night for his mother and lost sister. It hadn't been up until a few days ago did Kyle began to revert to the child he once was, although not completely because now he knew what death was. Jim wondered what had brought about this change his son, but said nothing of it. Until the day his son came home with a newly found friend, the one, Jim thought, who had helped his son when he himself could not.


Kyle ran inside, followed by a little girl, no older than Kyle, but much shorter, much more frail. Her doe eyes looked up at him, and she softly smiled and whispered, "Nice to meet you Mr. Valenti. I'm Liz Parker."


Parker…Parker? Oh! "You're Jeff and Nancy's daughter!"


Liz nodded her head in affirmation, "Daddy and Mommy send their condolences."


She had murmured the word so easily, and in that instant Jim looked into her eyes again, and in them he could see wisdom. Such ancient eyes on such a young child. His daughter would have looked similar to her. The thought saddened him, and Liz instantly saw this. "What's wrong Mr. Valenti?"


He merely shook his head, as Kyle ran back into the room. "Dad! Dad! Can Lizzie meet mommy and Lily?"


Jim looked at his son in shock, since the funeral, Kyle had refused to go back to the cemetery to see his mother. "I thought you didn't like the cemetery Kyle."


"I don't. I didn't. I want to say goodbye to mommy so she could go to heaven." Kyle answered, and Jim looked at him in confusion.


"A soul will not pass into heaven until it has accomplished everything on the mortal plane. Sometimes it is because they weren't able to tell someone how much they loved them, sometimes it's because they didn't fulfill their purpose in life, and sometimes it's just because they couldn't say goodbye to the people they love. The soul will be reborn and remade continuously until they reach that final goal, whatever it may be, and only then can they be at peace. Only then could they enter heaven." Liz softly explained.


Again the flash of burgundy, and the ancient eyes.


But now they were saddened with unspoken grief.


End Flashback



She had been gentle, eccentric, and she had spunk about her. Liz was kind and always willing to help, but was also a little spitfire. Just like his Annette had been, and what his daughter would have been. Through this, Jim had gained a daughter, not to replace his other one, but to bring comfort to his son and himself.


Walking over to Kyle, he wrapped his arms around his son, and for the second time, father and son grieved for the family they had lost.


The soul will be reborn and remade continuously until they reach that final goal, whatever it may be, and only then can they be at peace. Only then could they enter heaven.


========


Dawn stretched over the horizon with fingertips of rose floating out into the golden sky, wherever the light touched, the darkness rushed away quickly, back into the shadows. The sounds of the sweet melodies of the passing birds filled the once silent air, and a breeze passed through, gently blowing through the green trees, causing the leaves to rustle. It was a beautiful day, such beauty was rare, but even nature could not bring pleasure to everyone, and even the light could not touch nor chase away the darkness that had settled on the grievers' hearts as they mourned the memory of Roswell's very own All American Girl. For even nature could not erase the knowledge that today was the day that it was finally over. Not even nature could take away the fact that one Elizabeth Parker was no longer going to return, that she was actually gone and would never see the light of day again.


========
"Now Sheriff Valenti and his son, Kyle would like to say a few words." The minister announced as he nodded his head at Kyle and Jim. Kyle stepped up silently to the podium. Kyle's face was solemn as he looked around the church, clearing his suddenly dry throat, keeping his tears at bay. One might not have noticed he was grieving if not for the slightly fallen eyes which only sparkled with loss.


"Liz and I have known each other for a long time, we've been through so much together. She was my first friend that wasn't a guy, my first crush, my first kiss, and my first girlfriend…but she was also the first female since my mother's death that understood and cared for me. People say that you'll never know how much someone means to you until they're gone, and they're right. I never knew before now, maybe somewhere in my subconscious I did, but I never felt or understood my feelings towards Liz until now, and it is simple really.


The fact is I love her. I love her like the sister I lost along with my mother, and that may have been the reason I felt so connected with her since the day we met. I remember my mother's death, and I remember the pain and how much it had hurt. The day I met Liz, I was alone, crying for my mother, and I didn't want anyone to see…because I was ashamed. I was ashamed of my tears, and I was ashamed because I felt like I was letting my mother down. I can still remember the way she had came over to me, sat next to me and comforted me even though she didn't have to and I can still hear the words she had said to me.


It's ok to cry.


Grandma Claudia says that your tears are like the rain. When the earth has suffered because of the things we do to it, the rain comes and heals the land with its cool touch. Just like tears heal your soul.



Then she held out her hand to me and helped me pick up the pieces…" Kyle's words trailed off, and he choked softly, and then continued, not caring anymore.


"I loved her, and I still do. I know I'll never forget Liz Parker. She just has that effect on you, once she touches you, once she holds out her hand to you, you just never want to let go, and I didn't…but the time has come to let go of her hand, but this time I won't have her wisdom or kindness to guide me through the grief. Rest in peace Liz, I'll miss you."


Kyle stepped back, looking all about drained and he looked over to his father, who squeezed his shoulder in comfort and then took his place at the podium.


"Today we all grieve loss. Daughter, friend, niece, cousin, student. All those words and more describe Elizabeth Parker, but I would like to add another. In the past eleven years, I have watched my son and Liz grow together. And over these past years, Liz has become like a daughter to me. I watched with pride and joy as Liz bloomed into a beautiful and courteous young woman, right before my eyes, and for me it was as if I was watching my own daughter grow, watching my own daughter laugh. And everything in my being tells me that if Lily were alive today, that she and Liz would be the greatest of friends. The first day I met Liz. She was a petite girl, small, quiet, and seemingly frail. I remember thinking about her eyes, how her eyes seemed so wise, so ancient on such a young girl, but I was never fooled. Liz was an intelligent child, and there were times when it seemed like I was speaking with another adult, someone even older than I, and this wisdom only blossomed, as she grew older. The ways she spoke of things, the tone of her voice, that distant look in her eyes portrayed innocence, yet at the same moment I saw the look of tragedy and sorrow of loss, and this look was even more overwhelming than the innocence. I felt a pull towards the purity, as if I needed to shield her so that she would never lose that innocent sparkle. And she never did, as she grew older, I could see she did not need my protection. Her strength continued to amaze me as I watch her pull through sorrow, pain, and things many have never ever experienced.


Now even in death, I can still see those ancient eyes, beautiful, innocent, and wise. I can still hear her soft voice, soothing and calming even the greatest of rages." Jim paused in his speech and cleared his throat before continuing.


"A soul will not pass into heaven until it has accomplished everything on the mortal plane. Sometimes it is because they weren't able to tell someone how much they loved them, sometimes it's because they didn't fulfill their purpose in life, and sometimes it's just because they couldn't say goodbye to the people they love. The soul will be reborn and remade continuously until they reach that final goal, whatever it may be, and only then can they be at peace. Only then could they enter heaven.


Those were her own words, the words of a five-year-old girl. And now as we remember Liz Parker, and her presence in our life, let us hope that she will be able to pass into heaven. I know of no one else who deserves this more than she."


Chapter 3b: Amazing Grace


The funeral was magnificent, many mourners had shown up, as many had known and cared, if not loved Liz Parker. There were three however, who felt uncomfortable and out of place. Though they mourn the loss of Liz, they were not close with her while she was living, something that each now regret.


Tess, Isabel, and Michael sat next to their respective others, in an effort to comfort them. Maria was crying silently into Michael’s shoulder as he kept his arm strong around her waist, trying his best to soak up her pain. Isabel sat between her brother and boyfriend, each with their own individual pain. Isabel’s arms strayed around Alex, who was staring, not seeing, but staring ahead of him, unaware to the tears coursing down his cheeks. She cast a worried glance at her brother, who was nothing but a shell of the man he had been, broken and unfeeling. He was hunched over, his hands gripping a small Bible so tightly that his hands were a deathly shade of white, matching his fallen face.


Tess sat on the other side of Michael, listening to the priest’s words impassively. She had only been to a funeral once before in her life, and that had been the funeral of a woman who had taken cared of her while Nasedo was away. Not really sure how she should feel, Tess had let her mind wander back.


When she had found out about Liz’s death, there had been no joy, no victorious feelings. Yes, she had wanted Liz out of the way, but she never had ever wished death on the other girl. And although she would never admit it aloud, she respected the person Liz Parker was. Even through their rivalry, she had never loathed Liz, but was constantly awed by the other girl’s actions and reactions. One such event happened not so long ago.


Flashback


“What are you doing here?” Tess asked, eying the petite brunette warily.


Liz bit her lip and pushed her hair behind her ear before she replied almost urgently. “We need your help. It’s Max.”


“Max? What about Max?” Tess asked, suddenly alert.


“They took him, the FBI have Max.”


Tess could tell the other girl was really upset, as the tears were trailing down her cheeks.


“Why are you coming to me for help? I tried to take him away from you, what makes you think I won’t do it again?”


“Tess, I really don’t care about that. The past is the past, and as for the future, I’ll deal with it when it comes. All that matters now is Max. Please, you’re the only one who can help. We can’t lose him…I can’t lose him.” Liz begged as she stood before the other girl who looked skeptical.


“Look, don’t do it for me ok? Do it because of whatever feelings you have for him. Just please help us.” Tess looked at the other girl, knowing fully that it had been difficult for her to come and ask for help, and her respect for Liz Parker grew. “What do you need me to do?”


Liz’s face lit up with happiness as she threw her arms around the taller blonde, taking Tess by surprise, who awkwardly returned the hug.


Flash


Tess walked into the Crashdown after spending the afternoon with Max. Spotting the person she needed to talk to, she walked over to Liz. “I need to talk to you.”


When Liz raised her eyes, Tess had to stifle a gasp. They looked so lost…so empty. Ignoring the wrenching feeling in her stomach, she awaited Liz’s reply impassively.


Liz looked at her a moment before nodding and led the way into the backroom where she stood and waited patiently.


Tess sat down on the couch before she began talking. “You did the right thing. By walking away from Max I mean. He has a whole planet counting on him, and he doesn’t need any distractions. He was a great leader and I know he can be one now. I guess I wanted to say thank you for giving him up.”


There was a long pause as silence filled the room as Tess stared at Liz’s back. Finally Tess, thinking that Liz wasn’t going to say anything, made a move to stand up, but before she could do anything, Liz’s voice filled the hushed room.


“I know. Look Tess, I didn’t walk away from him because I found out that you were married in the past, I didn’t walk away because of that. I walked away because, you were right, he has a destiny, and he shouldn’t be distracted. But you’re wrong about one thing. I may have walked away from him, but I never gave up on him. A part of my heart will always hold a piece of him and the love we shared. I will always believed in his strength. A love like ours, no matter how short it may have been can never be fully erased, even if one walked away from the other. Because our love, was true love shared between two soul mates, the strongest love of all. True love can be found almost anywhere, but true love between actual soul mates, that love is rare. But once you find that love, it will never leave you. Even if you separate from that person, even if you begin to hate that other person…even in death, your soul will always know and love that person.”


Throughout her small speech, Liz had been looking into the mirror, fingering a necklace about her neck, and for a moment, Tess thought she had seen a burgundy tint to Liz’s eyes. It was strange, because while she listened, it was like she was listening to someone else. Someone who was speaking through Liz.


Touched, but not wanting to show it. Not wanting to show any emotion to Liz and the fact that Liz had practically declared that Max would never love her the way he had loved Liz, she stood up, somewhat infuriated.


“You needn’t tell me about that love Liz. Because I’ve experienced it before in my past lifetime, Ava and Zan were soul mates, and their love was the purist. You’re right about this love never leaving because I still love Max with all my heart and soul, and he loves me too…he just can’t see it when you’re around. Stay away from him.”


Liz stood rigid, and then relaxed before she turned around and headed back into the Crashdown, but not before she whispered, “I’m trying, you don't know how hard I'm trying to.”


Tess sat alone in the Crashdown, contemplating what Liz had said. She was sure that the love Zan and Ava had shared was what Liz had been describing…and she felt that way about Max…right? Shaking her head, Tess stood up before exiting the back exit.


End Flashback



Glancing over at Max, who had chosen to sit as far away from her as possible, she remembered looking into his eyes, and not seeing anything but patient tolerance as they gazed back at her, never the love she longed for. And it had hit her, hard, just as Liz’s death had hit him hard. He could never love her that way, not the way she wanted. Even when they were on Antar, she had seen the emptiness in Zan’s eyes every time he looked at her. Biting her lip, Tess looked down at her clasped hands, tears slipping from her eyes, Liz’s words ringing in her ears.


True love can be found almost anywhere, but true love between actual soul mates, that love is rare. But once you find that love, it will never leave you. Even if you separate from that person, even if you begin to hate that other person…even in death, your soul will always know and love that person.


Looking over at Max again, seeing that emptiness in his eyes, yet the love shining brightly through the grief, she knew, just as she had always known deep down, that Liz was right. Max never was and will never be hers. The thought didn’t even hurt her as much as she thought it would, only brought her more longing as she looked up, finding herself lost in the deep blue eyes of Kyle Valenti.


=======


“She’s really gone.” Isabel jumped at the sound of her boyfriend’s voice. It was hoarse from not being used, as Alex Whitman hadn’t really spoken since that day. That day that had changed her life more than she could have ever imagined. Liz Parker was dead, and about a year ago, this news wouldn’t have affected or pained her as much as it did now.


Isabel had watched as first her brother broke down, then her boyfriend followed as their hope dwindled away with every passing day. Alex had, at first been the most hopeful of them all, but seeing his hope crushed, nearly crushed her too, because she didn’t know how to comfort him, what to say, and for the first time in her life, Isabel Evans felt helpless. Hearing Alex speak now, and the pain that tinged his voice as he spoke the words, Isabel knew. She knew now just how important Liz Parker was to him, and thinking back, Isabel really did have Liz to thank for their relationship. If not for Liz, Isabel would still have been denying her feelings for Alex, therefore missing out on the love of her life


The sight before her transfixed Isabel, but her Ice Princess persona showed none of this as she stared at him. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she caught Alex Whitman’s gaze. She was confused, never had felt this way about anyone or anything. He was the first guy, other than Michael and Max, who she really wanted to know, to be close with. Alex looked past her icy exterior and saw the person she was, and still cared for her. That alone amazed her, how a sweet guy like him could care for a cold-hearted bitch like her.


“They’re great aren’t they?” a voice behind her asked softly, causing Isabel to jump. She swung around to come face to face with none other than Liz Parker herself, who was watching her two best friends with pride as their band played. Isabel turned to look at the stage again where Alex was playing the bass guitar, his face full of happiness with Maria at his side, singing.


Things haven't been the same
Since you came into my life
You found a way to touch my soul
And I'm never, ever, ever gonna let it go



“Yeah they are.” Isabel whispered as she listened to Maria’s sweet voice fill the club. The two sat in companionable silence as one by one, couples filtered out to the dance floor to dance to the music. Isabel watched them all with envy as she caught those heartfelt stares between lovers, one particular couple catching her eye. Paul and Glenda Taylor, the newest married couple in Roswell. His arms were tight around his wife, protective and gentle.


“They look so in love.” Isabel heard Liz whisper, and she saw that Liz was watching the couple too. Liz’s eyes reflected the longing she, herself was feeling.


Happiness lies in your own hand
It took me much too long to understand
How it could be
Until you shared your secret with me



Liz was watching the scene, sorrow apparent in her doe eyes, but she seemed to have dazed off. Isabel reached over and gently shook Liz, gasping when an image came to her mind, seeing what Liz was seeing in her own mind.


Flash ‘You risked everything to save me…why?’


‘It was you.’


Flash


‘I’m sorry, but I can’t be around you. I need to regain my balance.’


Flash


‘I don’t know why I’m feeling this way, or getting these flashes…but I need to find out. Please you have to understand.’


She watched as Max walked away, her mind screaming in rage and pain, while her heart couldn’t let go.


End Flashes


Isabel came out of her haze to see what Liz had been looking at, and her heart dropped and went out to the smaller girl. For in the middle of the dance floor, Max and Tess were dancing with each other, arms wrapped up around one another. “Oh Liz…I’m sorry.”


Mmm mmm
Something's comin' over, mmm mmm
Something's comin' over, mmm mmm
Something's comin' over me
My baby's got a secret



Liz shrugged her shoulders, coming out of her daze, and looking over at Isabel with sorrowful eyes. “It’s not your fault. He chose to leave, not you.”


“But he shouldn’t rub it in your face like this.” Isabel protested.


“He’s not. Alex and Maria are his friends too. Besides, I don’t expect to avoid him for the rest of my life. He needs to do this. Otherwise, what relationship we had would have been lost anyway. Whatever feelings he may have for her need to be revealed before we could ever have a real relationship.”


You gave me back the paradise
That I thought I lost for good
You helped me find the reasons why
It took me by surprise that you understood
You knew all along
What I never wanted to say
Until I learned to love myself
I was never ever lovin' anybody else


Happiness lies in your own hand
It took me much too long to understand
How it could be
Until you shared your secret with me



“Besides, I let him go. He left and I chose not to do anything about it. He loves me, I’m sure he does. He needs to figure out his priorities before we could freely love one another. The only thing I fear is maybe, just maybe he realizes he loves her and not me, and even then I wouldn’t do anything. That’s what love is. It’s full of chances and sacrifices, coming from both members. You can’t have love without giving something up because in the end…in the end that little moment of pain is nothing compared to the joy of knowing and spending the rest of your live with your soul mate.


Mmm mmm
Something's comin' over, mmm mmm
Something's comin' over, mmm mmm
Something's comin' over me
My baby's got a secret


You gave me back the paradise
That I thought I lost for good
You helped me find the reasons why
It took me by surprise that you understood
You knew all along
What I never wanted to say
Until I learned to love myself
I was never ever lovin' anybody else



During her speech, Liz’s eyes had grown hazy once more, flashing deep claret for a moment before returning back to its normal doe brown. As if she was waking up, Liz shook her head softly and looked at Alex thoughtfully. “I never heard this song before…it must be new! He hasn’t written a new song for a while. I wonder who he was thinking of…”


But they both knew…Alex had been thinking about Isabel, had always thought of Isabel.


Happiness lies in your own hand
It took me much too long to understand
How it could be
Until you shared your secret with me



“He cares for you, you know. More than you can imagine. And I know you care more than you would ever admit.” Isabel’s head snapped around in shock, but Liz was already turning her back and walking away.


“He doesn’t care about who you are Isabel, he can see the real you. The one deep inside, and despite what you may think, you deserve love. And so does he, and I know you could never truly be happy unless you two are together. When the time comes, take care of him for me. I love him. I want him to be happy, so take care of him.”


Mmm mmm
Something's comin' over, mmm mmm
Something's comin' over, mmm mmm
Something's comin' over me
My baby's got a secret


You gave me back the paradise
That I thought I lost for good
You helped me find the reasons why
It took me by surprise that you understood
You knew all along
What I never wanted to say
Until I learned to love myself
I was never ever lovin' anybody else


Mmm mmm, my baby's got a secret
Mmm mmm, my baby's got a secret
Mmm mmm, my baby's got a secret for me
Mmm mmm, mmm mmm, mmm mmm

**Secrets, Madonna**



“I will.” Isabel whispered, stunned as Liz made her way through the crowd and out the door.


That was before Destiny, before their whole group fell apart at the seams. Now she was gone, and Isabel had made a similar promise to take care of Max. Tears coursed down her cheeks as she promised herself and Liz to forever take care of Alex and Max, two men that they had both loved in their own ways.


=====


Michael watched as Maria walked forward, her head bowed and solemn. As Liz’s best friend, Maria was chosen to sing at the funeral. He was reluctant to let go of her hand, afraid that she would break without his support. Michael knew that Maria felt guilty for the way Liz and her friendship had ended, and she now needed him more than anything. Watching her brought back memories of the time he had spent with Liz, and all the emotions that came with the memory washed over him.


“Michael.” He turned around at the sound of her voice, a person he didn’t want to see, but couldn’t stay away from.


Liz sat down on the stool next to his and turned over to him, silent as she stared at something over his shoulder. Michael took this moment to study her. Her hair was limp around her shoulders, her skin a deathly pale colour, and he wondered if it really had only been a few hours since he had last seen her…at the cave. He remembered pulling Max back, keeping him from racing after Liz, and he had seen what it had done to Max, but not Liz. Now as he studied her, he thought perhaps he had done the wrong thing.


“It’s not your fault.” Michael jumped, before realizing that she wasn’t accusing him of his latter thoughts. She wasn’t accusing him of keeping her love away from her.


“You did what you had to do,” She continued, “Yes, you did kill Pierce, but think of it this way. If you hadn’t, then four people may have died instead of one. If you hadn’t killed him, Valenti, Kyle, Max, and you could have been killed, or worse…taken back to that white room.” Michael bowed his head, guilt running through his body, half of him wanting to believe what she was saying. “I still killed someone.”


“Yes you did.” Her tone was not reproachful, and he felt a smaller hand cover his bigger one, and he turned over, surprised, falling into innocent doe eyes. “But you’re not a monster. You’re just as human as the rest of us, and did the only thing you could in that situation. Yes, a man is dead because you used your power. But you used your powers to protect, not to kill. You were second-in-command on Antar, right? You only did things instinctively, because it was a part of you. Your powers were given to you, not to hurt, but to heal. You have the power to heal Michael. It may not heal physical wounds like Max’s, but it still heals.”


She let go of his hand, and that far off look settled on her face again as she continued to speak, her eyes seemingly a deep violet red. “Death is a part of us. Humans and aliens alike. We were all created to live life to its fullest. No matter what path we take, a priest or criminal. In the end, they both end up at the same place, with the same fate. Death. It was promised from the beginning, there is no way of avoiding it when the time comes. That doesn’t mean it can’t be prolonged. When Max healed me, he only lengthened my life on earth, not prevent death. When you killed Pierce, it was his time, and you lengthened even more lives. But you were given a second chance, just like I was. You were recreated, your soul born again so that you could achieve ultimate happiness. We’re all here for a reason, and we won’t surrender to death until we fulfill it.”


Liz shook her head, seemingly coming out of a dream as she turned over to Michael. “Don’t avoid her. She is your happiness, and believe or not, staying away from her is only hurting her more. It’s more dangerous for her to be without you than with you. Protect her, she will always need you to do that.”



He held a single white rose in his hand. White for peace. Michael could think of anyone who deserved it more than Liz Parker. He gently dropped it into the grave, and walked to where Isabel and the others were. Together they stood watching as they begin filling the grave with dirt.


Tears streamed down their faces, genuine grief pouring into their hearts, as Isabel, Tess, and Michael said goodbye to a wonderful friend, a friend who taught them so much more than anyone ever had. Liz Parker had opened their eyes to the real world. She had looked past their walls, their mask, and their faults to the person inside, showing them that they were still beautiful.


Maria’s soft voice filled the air, singing strongly for her fallen friend, her words never ringing any truer than now.


Amazing Grace…
How sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like me
I once was lost-
but now am found
was blind, but now I see….



A/N: That's all for now kiddos, I'll try and get a new part out by the end of the next week ok?