posted on 18-Feb-2003 10:54:27 PM
Author: bel_1983
Disclaimer: The characters don’t belong to me, but the story does. So please don’t sue.

AN: Hey guys I hope you give this a go. It will only be about three parts, that’s if you eant me to continue. Then I might do a follow up.

So please leave feedback, and tell me what you think it means a lot to me.


Is anybody ever really happy? And I don’t just mean the smile on your face, laughing out loud kind of happy. I’m talking about the gut wrenching, side splitting, sore jaw kind of stuff.

When I was young I never thought anyone could ever be that happy. I mean come on give me a break. I know kids try and look for the milk and cookies in a situation, but they still know deep down it’s not all that. And why is that anyway, that adults always look to kids to make the best of a situation. They’re kids, all they’re really thinking about is when their next meals going to be.

Ok I’ll admit it; I used to be one of those people who walked around with a smile on my face, and who anyone could get a laugh out of. People looked at me and they saw a happy person. But was I ever really that happy. Nuh uh. I’m sorry but no one could be that happy all the time, It’s just not normal. Well at least that’s what I used to think.

In primary school, I was one of those shy, quiet kids. I would cry at the slightest thing. I always had to have friends. And I like I’m sure everybody remembers, went through that whole ‘will you be my best friend?’ phase. We’d get the matching charms where one says best and the other says friends, and you would have a friend for life. At least that’s what you thought. Until a couple of weeks later when you would have a fight because they had two best friends, and that just wasn’t allowed. So in a fit of rage you would ask for the charm that you bought back, and immediately go and find someone else to give it to.

There always had to be an owner for the best friend charm. What was the use of wearing a necklace that just said best. Well I found a solution to this best friend charm ritual. I super glued one together, and wore it around. I was my own best friend, until I would find someone who was worthy. Someone who wouldn’t betray the oath behind the acceptance of the sacred best friend charm. And once that charm was unsealed, and It found its way around another worthy candidates neck, I promised myself it would stay there for good.

So my search began for someone worthy enough to be my best friend. And it went on and on and on. Finally in the fourth grade, I thought I met a worthy candidate. Her name was Maria Deluca. But there was a slight dilemma, she had a side kick. Alex Whitman. We would all become instant best friends, but that charm remained around my neck. It wouldn’t have been fair to just give it to Maria. We were three peas in a pod, leaving behind the theory or should I say the ‘one’ best friend rule.

All through grade school, we were known as the three musketeers. We were never separated. And I was happy. But I knew in my heart something was missing. I was still looking for someone to share my charm with. That someone I would connect with and with whom I would remain best friends for life. Id didn’t know If I would ever find someone for the other half of best. But I always hoped.

Don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t that I was unhappy with the best friends that I had. Because they were the best. There was just this niggling feeling inside of me that told me there was a piece missing to the puzzle. I’d had the feeling all through grade school, and it carried through to high school.

High school was different to grade school for me. I came out my shell like you wouldn’t believe. Whilst once I would have cried If I got yelled at by a teacher, now it just didn’t affect me. I was no longer quiet and shy. Maybe it was Maria’s influence finally taking over me, or maybe I was just sick of being this quiet, timid creature. Whatever it was I’m thankful for it. I became outgoing and people would always comment that I had a smile that could light up a room. I actually had people ask me how I could be so happy all the time.

I was happy, I just wasn’t happy all the time. I just wouldn’t let anyone else see, except for Maria and Alex. Without them I probably would have burst eventually. You see I started this facade. People knew me as the smiley girl, and if my smile made someone else smile, who was I to take it away from them. But I was still missing something inside. My charm still resided around my neck, It had not been moved for three years.

I was seen as the joker. I was the one who the teachers yelled at for talking in class, but outside the classroom these same teachers would comment on my personality. In class they would comment how I was bright, and I wasn’t performing to my full potential. They would say I got to easily distracted. I would reply that I was the distraction. Conversation would cease and laughter would ensue. I was known for speaking my mind. I will admit I am not one to think before I speak. Things just don’t jump into your head for the fun of it. If something enters your mind, it should be spoken.

I’ve found that these are my most honest thoughts. Others don’t appreciate them. I wonder why that could be...

Ok so you get the picture of what I was like in high school. I was loud, outgoing and ‘happy’. I didn’t think anyone would ever see through my facade. But they did.

People used to always question me on why I wore a charm that said ‘best friends’ around my neck. I would reply ‘because’, and that would be the end of the discussion. But I will let you know.

That charm was special to me, it meant something to me. It connected me to my past and my future. It was the one thing I knew I would never be forced to give up. It was there as a constant reminder to what I promised myself that day on the play ground. I knew it was a promise that I would never break. Even if I didn't find someone worthy of it, I would die with it around my neck. I would be buried with that chain on. That chain symbolised my youth, it symbolised my freedom, and it symbolised my pain and constant journey of self discover.

That chain was powerful. It was me.

So day after day I went through the same routine...Breakfast, school, homework, dinner. All with a smile on my face. I would treasure those moments I had alone or just with Maria and Alex where I could contemplate the past and future.

I asked myself once if I was naive to make such a promise to myself. A promise that I wouldn’t necessarily be able to keep. I quickly dismissed that thought. By thinking it I was taking away the value of the charm to me. And to whoever would wear the other half.

I remember the day clearly that my life changed. It began like any other. It proceeded like any other, but by the end It was a day that was definitely not like any other. I got up, had a shower, had breakfast got ready and went to school. I remember thinking that day why my stomach kept on playing up. But I would soon find out.

I was sitting in my usual seat in bio, when my heart jumped. For a second I thought I might have been a heart attack, but then I looked up. And my eyes met the most beautiful set of eyes I had ever seen. They were amber, they were deep, and they showed his soul. My eyes then wandered down. Well come on like you wouldn’t check out a new guy. And let me tell you...IMPRESSIVE.

Muscly...not overly...tanned...definitely....worked out...had to. My first thought was that I was face to face with a god. And I heard those words escape my mouth. “Are you a god”. The room bursts into laughter and I just smile, because that’s what I do. But inside my heart was thumping, and I was dying of embarrassment. But then came his reply “well if I’m a god, you must be my angel.” My first thought was did he just say that out loud. My quick glance around the room shows me that he did.

Then my renowned composure sets in as I offer out my hand

“Liz Parker.”

“Max Evans.”

And I wondered if maybe, just maybe my charm had found its rightful owner.
posted on 18-Feb-2003 10:55:29 PM

“So Max Evans, what brings you to our humble residings of Roswell, New Mexico?”

“Well Miss Parker, I heard I may come into contact with aliens, and who could pass up that opportunity?”

“ I’ll have you know Evans, Roswell is more than an alien tourist trap...It has an amazing museum...”

“Alien related???”

“A great restaurant...”

“Alien themed???”

“I work there.”

“Oh the joys of living in Roswell.”

“Hey I should be offended by that comment,...But I’m not. Evans, you and me...We’re going to get along fine. But there’s a few things you should know so that all runs smoothly. You know, so we don’t have any run ins.”

“Please...Enlighten me.”

“Well most importantly you should know, that I am always right. I do not take no for an answer. And I love to start arguments...”

“Because you’re always right...Right.”

“I hate two things; being interrupted and Pam Troy.”

“Pam Troy?”

“Oh trust me you will her. She will be the one shoving her cleavage in your face at every given opportunity.”

“Hey, who would I be to complain if some chicks dig this. I mean look at this body.”

“You’re funny Evans. I will give you that.”

“So what’s with you and this deep hatred for this Pam Troy.”

“Hey I never once used the word hate, you better learn how to listen properly if you and me are going to get along. Me and her, how do I put it? Let’s just say we have a little personality clash.”

“Ah, let me guess...She’s always right, you can never get a word in when you talk to her, and she won’t take no for an answer?”

“Funny again, Evans. So You’re quite the comedian hey. Well we’re going to have to something about that. I am the only funny one here.”

“So do you got any friends. Or is no one up to your challenge.”

“you will meet Maria and Alex later. They are my best friends because they stand up to my challenge. That’s a hint for you.”

“Man are all chicks in Roswell this confusing? First you say we’ll get along if I agree with you, but this Maria and Alex are you’re best friends because they challenge you. So which is it?”

“Yes. All of the above.”

“Liz Parker...I think we’re going to get along fine.”

“Max Evans...Welcome to West Roswell High.”

So that was my introduction to the world of Max Evans. I knew we would get along fine. I knew there was something about him. It was like our two personalities just complemented each other perfectly. I was funny, he was witty...All though he will probably say it’s the other way around. I had the brains, he had the brawn... He’s laughing now. OK, ok...Max had brains too...They just weren’t in his head.

Ok he was pretty smart. Smart enough to become a doctor. After that first meeting, things were in set in motion that neither of us had any control over. We would become friends, then we would become great friends. Then when Max, totally embarrassed Pam Troy, by knocking back one of her propositions, we would become even better friends!

Maria and Alex got on with Max like a house on fire. Lets just say, you put Alex and Max in the same room together for very long, well scary things start to happen. They were both jokers. I lost count of how many times Maria and I would catch the full force of one of their pranks. And I also lost count of the number of times we conspired against them. But somehow, every time, they would find out about it and it would turn back on us. I still insist there was foul play involved.

When it wasn’t me, Maria, Alex and Max hanging out. It was me and Max. Sometimes we would just totally open up to each other. We could talk all night on the phone. All though, I’m sure Max would deny that now. We could tell each other anything and everything. He would tell me his latest conquest, and I would make some smart ass comment about being his pimp. I would tell him about the guy I was interested in, and he would tall me how I had no hope. See we got a long like a house on fire. But we both knew what was said between us, stayed between us.

We would talk, we would laugh, we would joke, we would cry...Or I would cry after getting my heart broken. Max would offer to beat him up, and I would be laughing again. We just...clicked.

But for some reason, that charm stayed around my neck. Max never questioned it, and I never told him about it. I was like to some degree he already knew, and I already knew that he knew how important it was to me. So that was one of the few things that remained unspoken between us.

It was like my head and my heart were fighting a battle back then. My head was telling me not to give up the other part of me. My heart on the other hand was telling me it was the right thing to do. That he was the right person to give it to. My head was constantly winning the battle. I think sub consciously I didn’t want to give it up. It had been with me fore so long, that It became me. I look back now and can’t believe I rested so much of myself on that best friends charm, but I guess in some respects it was such a great part of me. My past, present and future.

My head just had to learn that by giving the other half of the charm to someone, I wasn’t giving my past up. I was sharing it with someone else. My head just had to catch up with my heart. And I will never forget the day it did.

posted on 18-Feb-2003 10:58:08 PM

The day I realised my feelings ran deeper than friendship was the best and worst day of my life. That day changed my life forever. That day would inevitably put to sleep my past and secure my future, only I didn’t know it back then. At the time that day when my eyes were finally opened, was one of the hardest of my life. It went something like this...

It was two years since Max had entered my life in biology that day. It was two years that we had been best friends, like I said before, we just seemed to click.

I guess now when I think about it, it’s natural for feelings to begin to grow and develop, into something more. Feelings beyond those of friendship.

I will take you back to that day that I realised my feelings for Max were changing, and becoming deeper. It was like I suddenly had this revelation. My mind had finally caught up to my heart, but I was still confused. It’s hard to adapt to feelings like this, especially when you have been such good friends with the person you have the feelings for.

All these questions enter your mind. Questions that once, you wouldn’t have had to face. Questions like could he return my feelings, would a relationship wreck our friendship. Questions like what If it ended, and ended badly, and I lost my best friend as well as my lover.

My life suddenly became that much more complicated. The day of my revelation started off like any other. It was a Saturday and me and Max were sitting at the Crashdown, sharing breakfast like we had been doing every day for the past one and a half years. My revelation arrived with a conversation that went something along the lines of this...

“So Max, any plans for tonight?”

“Uh well...”

“Big date huh? Well...Who is she, what’s her name...Where are you taking her, and when did this all happen.”

**Now me and Max had had conversations like this many times before. He would tell me about his hot dates and I would go straight for all the juicy details, but this time something was different. Something didn’t feel right about this conversation.**

“Liz just drop it.”

Shadows are falling all over town
Another night the blues got me down
Oh misery... I sure could use some company

**Ok that was different, he had never bothered with my enquiries before, so I didn’t see what his problem was. It was common knowledge around school that Max was the best piece of meat going at West Roswell High. All the girls chased after him, many had been rejected. Max was well known for his aloofness when it came to dating, so it was a shock when he got so snappy when I continued with my light banter.
It was even more of a shock with what I was about to learn.**

Since he's been gone I ain't been the same
I carry the weight like an ol' ball and chain
Guess it's all meant to be... for love to cause me misery

“Maxie, I’m hurt. Why won’t you share with me; you’re bestest friend in the whole wide world. You always tell me about your hot dates...Come on Evans don't hold out on me now. Anyway won't you need me to pick out your clothes for you.”

“Liz, It’s not that I don’t want to tell you...It’s just that...”

Misery... Misery
Tell me why does my heart make a fool out of me
Seems it's my destiny...
For love to cause me misery

“What Max? What could possibly be so bad that you can’t...Oh my God. It’s Pam Troy. Its Pam Troy isn’t it? You finally succumbed to the evil beast. So how’d she get you to say yes, did she brainwash you? I can’t believe you’re going on a date with Pam Troy. Max have evil aliens over taken your body, because that’s the only valid reason I can see for you accepting a date with Pam Troy. I mean its obvious only another species would go out with Pam Troy. My best friend is possessed. What the hell are you thinking?”

Oh... I've been down this road before
Where the passion turns into pain
And each time I saw love walk out the door
I swore I'd never get caught up again.

“Relax Liz, you’re going to have a coronary. It’s not Pam Troy.”

“Well Thank God for that. I thought I was going to have you slap you across the head a couple of hundred times to slap some sense into you...”

“It’s Tess Harding...”

But ain't it true... it takes what it takes
And sometimes... we get too smart too late
One more heartache for me... another night in misery

“I mean I thought Pam Troy was a bit much I knew you had more taste in that, but...What did you say?”

“I said I have a date tonight with Tess Harding.”

“Come again... Tess Harding? OK I swear you just said you had a date with Tess Harding, but that would have to be a mistake. Otherwise It would mean I’m going to have to slap you across the head a couple of thousand times to slap some sense into you.”


“This like some charity thing, isn’t it. You’re good deed for the week. Al though I’d have to say this would qualify as a good deed to cover the next one hundred years! Or is this like a new reach out program?”

Liz she asked me...I said yes...It’s as simple as that.”

Misery... misery
Tell me why does my heart make a fool out of me
Seems it's my destiny...
For love to cause me misery...
Guess it's all meant to be for love to cause me misery

**It was at about that time that my big revelation appeared from nowhere. All these feelings suddenly appeared all at once. Max was talking but I couldn’t hear nay words coming out of his mouth. It was like all my senses had become all jumbled. All I saw were his lips moving. Then I noticed his gorgeous eyes, the way his bangs flop over his forehead. His lips suddenly seemed so kissable to me.

These thoughts had never entered my mind before. I mean I always knew he was hot, but in a best friend kind of way. Never as something more. I was confused. I was hurt. My heart suddenly felt like it was going to break. I remember how sub consciously my hand moved up my necklace. The best friends charm. It was still there, and it didn’t look like going anywhere. I remember how Max called my name and I realised I’d phased out. I found my composure again. The smile returned to my face.

I was me again. That person that smiled all the time, even when they were hurting. I think I might have even cracked a joke. I was laughing but on the inside I was crying. It was like the world was playing this really bad joke on me. That was the best and worse day of my life. The best, when my mind finally caught up to my heart.. the worst when my heart shattered right there due to two words. Tess Harding.

I remember making up some excuse and fleeing to my bedroom. I told Max I would call him. I knew he would call me after his date. It was tradition he would call me when he got home, no matter how late, and tell me how it went. Sometimes he would even show up on my balcony, that was usually went a date went really bad.

I preyed to God that that night he would show up on my balcony. He didn’t. But I would still be the attentive best friend. The happy, cheerful girl was back in full force and only max could save her.

Of course he would. That’s just Max.


Song “Misery” is performed by Pink featuring Steven Tyler, Written by R. Supa

posted on 18-Feb-2003 11:00:42 PM

Max and I haven’t spoken that name for years. That name nearly tore us apart at one stage. That was when my jealousy got the better of me. I was struggling to just be his best friend.

Best friends are supposed to be supportive. The are supposed to be happy for one another when something good happens to them. But from where I was sitting, and from the way I my heart was breaking, this development wasn’t a good thing. It was bad. Very, very, bad.

Tess and I had never gotten along. We were just two totally different people. To begin with I had morals and self respect. She didn’t.

She always had a habit of getting what she wanted. I knew back then that she wanted Max. Hell the whole world knew, It wasn’t like she didn’t make it obvious enough. But I was always consoled by the fact that Max would never go for her. At least that’s what I thought. That’s what I had been lead to believe. I knew she didn’t stand a chance with Max. How wrong I was.

I never even contemplated or prepared myself for the idea that Max might be interested. In fact on more than one occasion her name had somehow wormed its way into our conversation. These times Max had totally dismissed her as trash. So when he agreed to go on a date with her, It was like everything I thought I knew about him I began to question.

I remember a conversation I shared with Max after his second date with Tess...

“Max, can I ask you something.”

“Liz. You’ve never asked me before whether you can ask me something, you usually just come out with it. And I know for some strange reason my saying no won’t stop you. What’s up?”

“What attracts you to Tess?”

“Whoah Liz. I can’t say I was expecting that. So we’re having a big, what is it you girls call them?...D & M now are we? Why do you want to know?”

“Well before you started dating her...”

“We’re not dating...”

“You’ve been on two dates...”

“Yes, but we’re not dating...”
“ OK, whatever...Anyway before you starting not dating, just going on dates with her, you used to say she was trash and how you wouldn’t even allow her in your own trash can let alone in your pants...So what changed?”

“She’s not in my pants! I don’t know what changed Liz. I guess I just want to play the field a bit. You know I’ve been at West Roswell High for what two years, and I’ve been on a few dates...”

“Try dates nearly the whole school.”

“I don’t date Liz. That’s the problem I just go on dates. You know, any one of these girls could be my soul mate, my other half, my one true love. She’s out there somewhere, and what If I miss her because of some petty things. She could be attending West Roswell High, and if she is I don’t want to miss her. At any time she could be right in front of me, and I don’t want it to be the one I turned down, and always wondered about.”

“She is right in front of you...”

“What was that Lizzie?”

“Nothing I was just thinking out loud.”

“What’s been up with you lately Liz? I feel you drifting away. You don’t open up like you used too. And I know there’s something up. You’re smiling way to much, you’re way to happy. No one is that happy. And I know that’s the way you withdraw into yourself. That’s your defensive mechanism. Now what I don’t know is what’s setting it off.”

“Why can’t I be happy...”

“Liz. I know you inside out. Now there’s happy and there’s insanely happy, you are the latter. I know you you’re hiding something. There’s something eating at you.”

“Obviously you don’t know me inside out Max. Otherwise you would know what’s wrong with me.”

“Liz, what are you talking about...”

“Why her Max...”


“Why her? Out of all the girls at west Roswell High, even in Roswell, why did it have to be her. The girl who along with Pam Troy had made my life a living hell....”

“Liz, I told you I’m...”

“Looking for the right girl, blah, blah, blah...don’t want to miss her...blah, blah, blah...I know Max, but...”


“Do you remember that night over a year ago? I rang you up, I was in tears. You said that I could tell you anything, I said I just needed to hear your voice. I was to upset tot ell you, maybe I was a bit embarrassed too. You never asked me again. Well Max do you want to know what was wrong with me that night? Why not even your voice, your jokes, your words could comfort me that night...?”


“No Max, just let me get this out. I’d been out on a date with Kyle Valenti that night. I thought he liked me. I thought we were having a good time. I went to the bathroom for a bit. I must have been gone three minuted maximum. And I walk out to see Kyle, which was fine...What wasn’t fine is that Tess Hardings tongue was stuck down his throat. He was supposed to be on a date with me.

I didn’t want to face them but I had to go over there and get my things. So with as much dignity and courage I could muster up I walked over there. I was about to walk away with my things, partly grateful they were so into the kiss I wouldn’t be noticed, when Tess call my name...”

“Lizzie...What did I tell you...I told you no guy would ever want a girl who didn’t put out. No one likes frigid little Lizzie. That whole mousie, innocent thing is getting old. Just ask Kyle here...”

“Tess...I’d rather be sweet, innocent and liked, then West Roswell Highs answer to Merideth Winsky...I did not have relations with Tess Harding...You blow them off literally but then every guy denies it.
Oh and Tess. I was so sorry to hear to hear the news...”

“What news?”

“Don’t worry tess. It’s ok...I hear mouth ulcers clear up real soon. It’s just a pity about the other ones.”

“Liz I had no idea. Why didn’t you tell me earlier. You know I wouldn’t have said yes, If I’d known.”

“But Max, you said yes despite her reputation. I wasn’t sure if what I had to say would...”

“Liz, how could you think that...Of course what you have to say matters. I love you Liz.”

“Yeah. I know. But not the way I want you to.”


“You heard me Max. Look I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Liz wait...”

“Bye Max.”

** I never intended for that to slip out then it did. I was so scared after, scared that had destroyed everything. I wondered what he was thinking. I wondered if his heart was beating tenfold like mine was. I wondered if he would ever speak to me again. I wondered if he would ever look at me the same again. I wondered if my best friends charm would ever be separated.

No I haven’t forgotten the charm. It hasn’t left my neck since that day I put it on, and made that promise to myself. The meaning hasn’t dwindled, the representation still remains.

In fact my best friends charm was fully intact. I guess that was the problem.

It wouldn’t be for much longer.
posted on 18-Feb-2003 11:01:48 PM

In the beginning I said that that best friend charm was me...Maybe I let too much of who I was rest on an object. A material thing.

Sure it meant a lot to me, a great deal actually, But now that I think about it, It wasn’t me. It didn’t define the person that I was or the person that I would become. It probably would have been more plausible, more logical and less materialistic, to say that it represented me.

It represented my need, and want, to give half of myself to someone. Someone who would be there for me. Someone who wouldn’t abandon me. Someone who could give half of themselves to me. Maybe I was asking too much, back then. I mean I was still young, I had a whole life ahead of me. I guess I just wanted to find someone who could experience it all alongside me. Each step of the way, through the tears and the heartache. Through the laughter and the joy. Yeah, yeah, I know mushy stuff, but that is what I wanted most in my life. Someone to share it with. Someone to share myself with. Someone who would be my best friend, and maybe more. Someone like Max.

You may have noticed that as I have been telling my story. My focus has shifted. The charm has faded in and out, but throughout it all, there has been one constant. Max. In the beginning the charm was my constant. When I was younger I rested so much on that charm, and I guess as I grew, I rested more on finding that person, and even more when I finally did. Or thought I did.

But slowly as Max integrated himself into my life, into my heart, the value of the charm has disappeared within my story. But I want to make something clear; whilst the value of that charm in my telling of the story may have disappeared, the value of that charm to my heart never did.

Well, there's a feeling in the air
Just like a Friday afternoon.
Yeah, you can go there if you want
Though it fades too soon.

What I guess I’ve been trying to say, is that in my heart, Max and the charm are the same thing. They represent the same thing. Past, present and future. The represent my heart, my soul, my life. The importance of the charm never dropped, it was just being replaced. Replaced by something less materialistic and more forcefully present in my life. And I think that’s the process that had to happen, that was bound to happen.

So go on, let it be.
If there's a feeling coming over me,
Seems like it's always understood this time of year.

This was a sign. It was letting me know that it was time to give up my charm. Not give up on it. it was letting me know it was time to give up my heart.

I remember the day as if it happened yesterday, that day when I put it all on the line. My heart, my soul and my charm. I had been avoiding Max since that last time when I had said very little buy gave away so much. Its strange how one Freudian slip up can suddenly decide the fate of your future. I had left so abruptly, that everything was left up in the air. Max had been trying to cal me, trying to see me. But where he was I wasn’t. I planned it that way. I guess I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear what max had to say, I was too scared, my heart was too vulnerable.

Well, I know there's a reason to change.
Well, I know there's a time for us.
You think about the good times
And you live with all the bad.
You can feel it in the air,
Feeling right this time of year.

It was hard to stay away from someone that I loved. To stay away from my best friend. I guess that’s pretty appropriate isn’t it? To not just love, but to be in love with my best friend. It was breaking me to avoid him, and when I heard his voice on my answering machine, I knew it was breaking him too.

I was laying in bed thinking one night about how I would usually be on the phone to Max when I decided I had to confront him. And as you learned earlier confrontations were my thing. But this time it was different. This time I knew there was so much more at risk then there would usually be. Eventually after much deliberation, I came to the conclusion that I may have already lost him, but if I hadn’t...If there was that chance...that one piece of me that I gave to him...Maybe just maybe we would stand a chance.

Well, there's a football in the air,
Across a leaf blown field.
Yeah, and there's your first car on the road,
And the girl you'd steal.

At that stage I just needed him. I missed him, I knew I relied on him I just didn’t realise how much. I didn’t realise how much we had both probably taken our friendship for granted. We both always just assumed we would both be there for each other, no matter what.

So go on with yourself
If there's a feeling that there's something else.
Seems like it's always understood
This time of year.

I guess my falling in love just didn’t enter the equation or my mind back then. But love is so unpredictable. No one can predict where it might turn up, no one can predict when it might end, in life or death. But just to feel that feeling I felt in my stomach whenever we were together was enough. Or maybe I just used to tell myself that.

Well, I know there's a reason to change.
Well, I know there's a time for us.
You think about the good times
And you live with all the bad.
You can feel it in the air,
Feeling right this time of year

At that stage, I didn’t know what I would do if he didn’t feel the same, but I knew I had to have him in my life one way or another. I need to see him every day, talk to him on the phone. Even if it meant torturing myself listening talk about his latest catch. I just needed him. be it a friend or a lover. I didn’t know how I would handle being just friends, or even if I could. I can only assume that that girl I keep on talking about and referring to, the happy girl, would have eventually taken over.

Well, there's a feeling in the air
Just like a Friday afternoon.
Yeah, you can go there if you want
Though it fades too soon.

Once again I would be the girl with smile on her face that could light up a room. Tears would be in my eyes from laughter, or at least that’s what people would think anyway. Those tears would not have been happy tears...I guarantee it.

So go on, let it be.
If there's a feeling coming over me,
Seems like it's always understood this time of year.

But thankfully that’s not how things worked out. things went something along the lines of this...

“Hi. You’ve reached Liz...Leave a message.”

“Hey Liz. It’s me. Look we really need to talk. Call me.”
beep, beep, beep

“Hi. You’ve reached Liz...Leave a message.”

“Liz, it’s me again. You can’t avoid me forever. We need to discuss some things.”
beep, beep, beep

“Hi. You’ve reached Liz...Leave a message.”

“Just call me already. There’s things we need to discuss, things you need to know. Liz will you pick...Liz will you just pick up...Pick up the phone Liz. Liz I know you’re there. Liz I won’t hang up this time, I’m just gonna sit here until you pick up the god damned phone. Fine if that’s how you want it, this is how it will be. I will...”
beep, beep, beep

“Hi. You’ve reached Liz...Leave a message.”

“...pour my heart out over the phone. if this is how it’s got to be, then this is how it’s going to be. There’s so much that needs to be said. But first...about the whole Tess thing...”

“Max. Fine Max. You win. I’m here. Where do you want to meet? Here? ten minutes? see you than then...”

**I remember sitting on my bed beside the phone , just staring at the machine. I wanted to pick up so badly. A few times I went to, but lost my nerve. My head was telling me to pick up, but my heart didn’t know whether it could take it. This time it was my hearts turn to catch up with my head.

I eventually picked up. I guess I didn’t want a recorded reminder if what Max had to say went bad.
So ten minutes later I found myself sitting on my bed face to face with on Maxwell Evans.

And a couple of hours later I found myself wishing that I had a recorded reminder. Because those few hours deserve to be remembered precisely as they were.

Well, I know there's a reason to change.
Well, I know there's a time for us.
You think about the good times
And you live with all the bad.
You can feel it in the air,
Feeling right this time of year.

This Time Of Year: Better Than Ezra

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 18-Feb-2003 11:03:18 PM ]
posted on 18-Feb-2003 11:04:24 PM

OK. So I guess you all want to hear what happened. The conversation that changed and made such a big impact on my life. First there are a few things you should know about Max. Things that he has never actually said to me, but that I have gradually picked up on. Best friends can read each other, I can read Max like a book. It took me a while to learn each of his different smiles. To learn that when he says there’s ‘nothing’ wrong there always is something. To know each and every expression.

Only best friends can read each other like this. Sometimes words just don’t have to be said. They don’t need to be. Sometimes it’s those expressions that say it all. Max knows me the same way. he knows that when I am nervous I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. He knows that when I am tired I babble. He knows that when I say I want to be alone, I don’t. And he knows when I walk away from him so abruptly, I want him to follow. He knows that I go through phases of ignorance. And he knows to avoid me during my mood swings. These are things that we have just picked up about each other. Those little things that annoy us, that we play upon. And if anyone else did them, max would be running from one of my mood swings!

We get away with a lot when we are with each other and we let each other get away with a lot. Our personalities adjust when we are alone. They merge when we are together.

See that’s what I love about our friendship. The ability to read each other so precisely. I have never had to wonder what he it thinking, it is always written across his face for me to read. But that day was different. That day when we were sitting face to face his face was void of emotion. I had no clue what ti expect. And that worried me. Max had always been so open towards me, and as I sat there staring at his blank face, For the first time since we met, I was left wondering. Wondering what was going through that mind of his. Wondering If I was going through that mind of his, and wondering if either one of us was ever going to break the silence.

Silence had never been an issue for us before; like I said if the words weren’t coming form the mouth they were evidently expressed on the face. I didn’t know what to think, and for the first time in a long time I felt the need to break the silence...

Oh and there’s one more thing you should know about Max, he is afraid to let people in. He is afraid of being hurt. He is vulnerable. He is a lot like me, and for a long time during that silence on the bed, I wondered if maybe he was too much like me. If he would let me in completely, to that part of his heart, that he had closed off for that special someone. And even if he had decided to, would he be strong enough to speak the words?

I remember that not long after I had those thoughts the silence was broken. And suddenly my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. My future was about to be decided. Our future, if Max wanted one...

“Max, I...”

“Liz, I...”

“You go first...”

“You go first...”

“Look Liz. There’s a lot that has to be said. A lot I have to say, and I just want to get it out...I need to get it out. So just let me say it. No interruptions.

Ok. So I’m just going to say it...Liz I love you but...”

Did you ever love somebody?
So much that the earth moved
Did you ever love somebody?
Even though it hurt to

**I remember how my heart soared and then plummeted in a matter of seconds. That one word, but, it can be used in so many different ways, and each way it is said can impact someone so heavily. How can one three letter word hold so much power? How can one three letter word make or break something. It’s just a word, but one word is all it takes...**

“Don’t say It Max. I thought I would be able to strong, I thought I would be able to hear it...But I can’t. I don’t think I can take much more Max...I don’t think my heart can take much more. I told myself over and over that I could be friends with you. Just friends. It was my mantra, but I can’t do it. I can’t look at you every day, and not love you as much as I do, the way that I do.”

Did you ever love somebody?
Nothing else your heart could do
Did you ever love somebody?
Who never knew

**I remember how the words just tumbled out of my mouth. I had never actually told him how I felt. I had just implied it. There you go, there’s another word that yields so much power. Just. How can people be just friends. Friendship is so much more than that four letter word implies. Just. It’s just a word. Isn’t that what I said about but. Words hold so much power. The said word, the written word, the promised word. They all hold so much in their hands, and each and every person possess the ability to use them. It’s all a matter of how they are used that can make or break a person.**

“Liz, I asked for no interruptions, so please respect that. And you are going to hear everything I have to say. Now what I was going to say was that I love you but there are some things about me you should know...”

Did you ever lay your head down
On the shoulder of a good friend
And then had to look away somehow
Had to hide the way you felt for them

**Now at the point I was confused. He kept on saying he loved me, but how did he love me, In what way? As a friend, as...more. My heart and mind just couldn’t click for me to be able to process much of what he was saying. All I kept on hearing was that damn three letter word but.

“...things about me you should know. Liz, you know I came to Roswell two years ago, and I told you it was because my parents got transferred here. Well there was actually more to it then that. My parents in fact, asked to be transferred here. You see I wasn’t exactly an easy kid to get along with. I mean I was a bit of a player...”

“Yeah well nothings changed there...”


“Sorry. Go on...”

“No, It was worse. When I was young I was a bit of a geek. And as my body started to grow so did girls interests in me. It would be a different girl every week. I broke a few hearts along the way, but I just didn’t care. As long as my heart was still in tact. I never told you this, because I was ashamed. I guess I wanted a fresh start after all, even though I gave my parents hell when I found out they’d asked to be transferred here. I still think I was just looking for the right girl. I didn’t care who I hurt in the process. I promised myself that when I arrived here, I wouldn’t be like that. I would forget about finding my soul mate. And concentrate on other things. Like school. But then I entered biology on my first day. And all that went to hell.

My eyes found yours, and I thought I stopped breathing for a little while. But I remembered my promise to myself. My mind was fighting my heart. And then we became friends. And I didn’t want to wreck that. I had never been so close to someone before. I had never opened myself up to anyone like I have to you. My parents don’t even know me like you do...As well as you do.

I didn’t think you saw me as anything but your best friend. So when all these girls suddenly started asking me out. I thought why not, I was a teenage boy with hormones after all. I didn’t lead the girls on though, like I used to. I made it clear to them that I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship right then. I had changed, and you had changed me Liz. For the better. But I still wasn’t listening to my heart. Then when you said what you said, or didn’t say so much, that you did imply it, my mind suddenly caught up with my heart. And when you fled, and ignored my calls I thought I might have lost you for good, and that devastated me. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you to see me with all those girls and listen to me talk about them. And for that I am so sorry.”

Have you ever prayed the day would come
You'd hear them say they feel it too
Did you ever love someone?
Who never knew

“So what are you trying to say Max?”

I do.
And if you did
Well you know I'd understand
I could, I would
More than anybody can

“I guess what I’m trying to say Liz is that I love you. Wait no, I don’t just love you, I am in love with you. I guess I always have been. I thought when we became friends and then best friends, maybe I’d confused the love I felt for you the first time I saw you for just one of friendship. But then that day when you said that my soul mate was right in front of me, well it was like you opened my eyes. And not only my eyes, but you opened my mind to my heart. It was like suddenly everything was clear. Everything was right, it just felt right. I can’t believe I nearly wrecked it. I can’t believe I nearly wrecked us, and any chance we may have had. That is of course if we still have a chance. If you can forgive me for being so blind. Well Liz?”

Did you ever love somebody?
So much that the earth moved
Did you ever love somebody?
Even though it hurt to

“Max. There’s nothing to forgive...

Did you ever love somebody?
Nothing else your heart could do
Did you ever love somebody?
Like I love you
Like I love you
Like I love you

"Did You Ever Love Somebody": Jessica Simpson

posted on 18-Feb-2003 11:06:07 PM

“Max there’s nothing to forgive. You think, I didn’t know you had these commitment issues or whatever you want to call them. You think I didn’t know there was a part of your heart closed off. We have wasted so much time, just think if we had just been completely honest with each other, we could have saved a lot of time and tears. At least on my part. So Max what do you want to do?”

“Liz. I’ve loved you for so long. I can’t even begin to comprehend how long I’ve been in love with you. I don’t want to waste any more time. I don’t want to be just best friends Liz. I want more than that. I’m ready to let you in. Completely. I want us to be together...

A star up in the sky goes slowly passing by,
The lights below...they spell out your name.
You're comfort on my mind and you're with me all the time.
And lot's of feeling that I can't explain.

...I want us to have that awkward first date, where you won’t know what to say, and I won’t know what to say, even though we’ve been best friends for two years. I want to be able to hold your hand out in public, hug you, hold you in my arms. I want to be able to kiss you. I want the whole world to know that I am in love with Liz Parker, and there is damn well nothing they can do about it. I want to show people that you chose me, because god knows I don’t deserve you. I want to be with you in the sunlight, where everybody can see. Where everybody can wish they had someone like we do. Where everybody can look at us and want what we have.

I won't spend another night alone.

I want to be with you Liz. I choose you. My heart chose you along time ago, my mind just had to catch up. So Liz, do you choose me?”

Out of every girl I meet, no other can compete
I'd ditch em all for a night with you.
I know you don't believe you mean this much to me
But I promise you that you do.

“Max Evans, I love you. I want all those things too. So much. But first I want to slap you across the head. What’s with that; you don’t deserve me. If you don’t deserve me who does then? Someone you don’t know will love me like you do. Someone you don’t know will treat me as well as you will. Someone who will never completely hold my heart, because half of it belongs to you. Or my mind, because half of it is always thinking of you. Is that the person who deserves me? I don’t think I deserve you. But I do know that we deserve each other. Hell, I know I didn’t put up with you as a best friend for two years for nothing.”

If I had one wish this is what it would be...
I'd ask you to spend all your time with me,

“Liz Parker, I love you.”

Max Evans I love you.”

“I think we’re going to do just fine you and me.”

“Just fine? I think we’re going to do better then that...”

That we'd be together forever.
We'd buy a small house in south central L.A.
Raise lots of kids then we'd both join a gang
Just as long as we're together.

The things you make me wanna do
I'd rob a quik-e-mart for you
I'd go to the pound and let all the cats go free
Just as long as you'd be with me.

The Ataris :I Won't Spend Another Night Alone

**See now you see why I told you I wish I had recorded that conversation. I guess I have recorded it in my memory. Maybe even better then I could have if Max had pored his heart out to the machine. In my memory I hold the tears, I hold the thumping of my heart. I hold Max’s smile when I told him I chose him as well. I hold his laughter when he picked me up and swung me around the room. I hold my laughter. But what I remember best of all, and id the kind of perfection that could only exist in my memory, is that kiss. That first kiss, that wiped away any doubts I may have had. That first kiss that showed me how much Max loved me. because as much as the eyes can't lie, the lips can’t either.

It was beautiful, It was perfection. It was Max. It was so soft, yet so passionate. I felt everything he was attempting to put into that kiss, and I still feel it to this day. It still gives me goose bumps just thinking about it. We’ve shared many kisses since, but that kiss still holds a special place in my heart.

That kiss, opened the door to a whole other world for me and Max. A world full of dreams and passion. A world full of love and security. A world that suddenly seemed open to so many different things. A world where suddenly my future seemed so bright. A future that offered anything and everything; As long as Max was with me.

I remember the day Max offered me the key to his heart, that day I realised that it was time. The charm had spent long enough around my neck. It was time to give it up. It was time to hand it over to the one person I knew I could trust not to break my heart, or walk away from me. It was time to give it to Max, and explain exactly what this charm meant to me, and exactly what I meant by giving it to him.

Baby, look around
See that I'm nowhere to be found
You wanna feel me near
Then close your eyes, and I'll appear

The day I gave Max the other half of the charm was the day he proved his worth to me. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe he was worth, because I did. It was that I still had reservations. I mean we were young, people break up all the time. People leave each other all the time. Now I can’t believe those thoughts ever even entered my mind. Somewhere deep down I knew mine and Max’s relationship was different. We were friends first, and then lovers, and I think that was what made us sure about each other. We didn’t jump straight into anything, we knew each others like’s, dislikes, annoyances.

Dream over me with a tear
Anything it takes to wish me here
Oh, magic and sweet lullabies
Any lucky penny will do fine
Oh, to wish me here

But the day I gave Max the other half of the charm was the day that my heart finally won over these reservations. It was the day I caught Max with Tess Harding.

We had officially been together for a couple of weeks. Things had been going great. There had been a bit of gossip at first, but nothing neither of us could handle. But once people got over the fact that the one and only Max Evans was dating Liz Parker things died down. I should have known things wouldn’t stay like that for long. And I should have known Tess Harding would some how be involved...

You're arms are open wide
Waiting for me to run inside
I'll meet you in the clouds
Please use your power to bring Heaven down. . . and

“So Max what’s on the agenda today after school.”

“Liz...babe...It’s like 9:00 in the morning and you’re asking me about 3:00 this afternoon. You know I can barely process what’s happening now let alone in six hours time.”

“Well I was thinking that maybe we could just hang at yours or mine. Or maybe catch a movie together.”

“Sweetie, as long as I’m with you, I don’t really care what we do.”

“You know I hate it when you call me sweetie...honey. You make us sound like some old married couple. And, babe, well that just sounds totally possessive and ...”

“Fine what do you want me to call you. Munchkin? gorgeous? I know I will just call you Parker.”

“Such a romantic aren’t you...Evans.”

Dream over me with a tear
Anything it takes to wish me here
Oh, magic and sweet lullabies
Any lucky penny will do fine
Oh, to wish me here

**See that was me and Max flirting. We had entered this whole comfort stage, where we’d tease, we’d laugh, we’d fight and argue. Then we would get to make up. We used to fight quite a bit *happy*. Back then there was lots of ‘making up’ going on. That day we had scheduled a ‘make up’ or should I say make out, session in the eraser room.**

And when we're face to face
The world just fades away
So take me to that place
Where it's just you and I
Every single night. . .

“Hey babe, glad you could make it. I didn’t know whether you’d be able to sneak...Whata re you doing here?

“Hello Maxie. I saw you come in here. I saw that little look you gave me to follow you in here.”

“Look. What look? Trust me there was no look. Tess I really think you should be leaving now.”

“Why Max you and me both know we have some unfinished business to take care of. And you and me also know that you need a real women.”

“Tess. I really think you should move your hands from there. If Liz...”

“Who cares about little Lizzie. She should be used to finding the person she’s seeing ending up with me. They always come running to me. I know that you want me Max. You and me would be great together.”

“I don’t think so Tess. I’m with Liz. I love Liz. I’m in love with Liz.”

“You will grow tired of her Max. Think of the possibilities. You and me.”

“Tess I think you should take your hands off me and leave.”

“Or what Max. You might kiss me senseless...”

Dream over me with a tear
Anything it takes to wish me here
Oh, magic and sweet lullabies
Any lucky penny will do fine
Oh, to wish me here

“No Tess, because I might kick your ass...Now listen to the man, get your filthy claws off him. I don‘t want my man catching no diseases.”

“Hi Lizzie. Me and Max were just getting acquainted here.”

“Tess. I’ve been standing here for the last couple of minutes. There has definitely been no getting acquainted on his part. Do you like getting my seconds huh Tess?

“Why you little bitch...”

“What tess. Does the truth hurt? Don’t you even think about laying a finger on me. I could take you down in one shot. And for that matter keep your grubby fingers off Max too. Get out of here before I decide to hand out a fist full of Liz.”

Dream over me with a tear
Anything it takes to wish me here
Oh, magic and sweet lullabies
Any lucky penny will do fine
Oh, to wish me here

**That then was like my moment of glory. Max told me he got so turned on when I got all possessive and defensive of him. He is not a violent man, in fact he exactly the opposite, but he told me later that he wishes I did bring the smack down on her ass. Tess never came near me or Max again. As soon as she left the room Max and I had a little acquainting to do of our own. It was that day after school when I finally gave Max the charm, It was that day after school when Max finally owned me mind, soul...and body.**

. . . you wish me here, you wish me here.
. . . oh, you wish me here.

Nikki Hassman: Any Lucky Penny

posted on 18-Feb-2003 11:07:16 PM

Have you noticed that all of my best days have been with Max? Have you also noticed that all of worst days have also been with Max? I guess that’s what it means to be in love. In one instance your happiness can be taken away, and in the next instance it can be fully restored by that very same person who took it away. It’s a weird world that we live in, but I know I wouldn’t swap my place in it for anything. Why is it that when people are so happy, they rarely think about what makes them so happy?

But when people are sad, it’s all they can do but ponder and dwell over what made them that way. Why it happened to them, how to fix the problem, if it can be fixed. It’s constantly on your mind, which furthermore makes you sadder. But when I am sad, all I have to do is think of Max, and everything will be alright. I know he is the key to my happiness, and to my heart. It just seemed to take me a while to realise this. But that day when I did, that day when I realised Max is the only one who makes my heart thump at what I’ sure is a dangerous rate. That max is the only one whose dumb jokes can make me laugh. That all Max has to do is look at me, and I will fall.

I know something about love
You've gotta want it bad
If that guy's got into your blood
Go out and get him

That day when I realised he had been in front one for so long; The one who could make me complete. Yes I realise it all sounds so cheesy, but I need you to know, I need it to come across, just what he means to me . I need you to understand that I very nearly lost the love of my life, when he was right in front of me, just because I wouldn’t open my eyes, or my mouth for that matter, and admit how I really felt. I need you to understand how close I came to losing my chance at true love...True happiness. All because I was stubborn, my heart was stubborn, my mind was stubborn. I need you to understand, because It is so important, that your someone could be standing right in front of you. And you might only realise when it is too late.

If you want him to be the very part of you
That makes you want to breathe
Here's the thing to do
Tell him that you're never gonna leave him
Tell him that you're always gonna love him
Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right now

You have to open your eyes, open your heart...Listen to your heart, because it will always tell you the truth. The heart never lies. It could be that he makes your heart beat so fast your heart feels like it’s going to explode out of your chest. It could be he makes you nervous and he makes your palms sweat. It could be that you could stare into his eyes all day without growing bored. It could be that you laugh at his dumb jokes when they aren’t even funny. It could be any number of things but you will only know if you let yourself feel. Trust me if your soul mate is right in front of you, you don’t want to miss him. Because those days when he makes you so sad, he will also make you so happy. And who else can do that?

I know something about love
You gotta show him it and make him
See that moon up above
Reach out and get it

So tell him. Tell him how you feel. And if he doesn’t feel the same way, at least you will know. At least you will know that you followed your heart, and you tried. If it wasn’t meant to be, it wasn’t meant to be, and if it’s not meant to be, it won’t happen. But you have to take that chance. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be here today telling you this story. I wouldn’t be about to tell you, the one moment that had totally defined my life. Our life. That one moment that defined our friendship and our love. That one moment when I gave him my past, present and future...

If you want him to
Make your heart sing out
And if you want him to
Only think of you
Tell him that you're never gonna leave him
Tell him that you're always gonna love him
Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right now

“Hey Max...”

“Hey Liz...”

“So...You wanted to talk.”

“Yah. Umm talk. That’s why we are here right...To talk...”

“Liz...If its’ about the whole Tess thing...”

“No it’s not about the whole Tess thing. Well it is and it isn’t it. I heard what you said in there Max. I heard how you refuted her advances. You could have gone at it with her, and I probably wouldn’t have ever found out. I mean I’m sure Tess would have spread some shit but I wouldn’t have believed it. I mean Tess has had practically every guy in the whole damn school. In the whole damn state and...”

“Liz you’re blabbering...”

“Yeah, I guess I’m a little nervous.”

“It’s me Liz. Why would you be nervous around me? I thought we finally got everything out. I thought it was finally clear how we felt about each other...So what could possibly be making you nervous. Are you having second thoughts? Because...”

“Max, God no. I do want to be with you. More than you probably even know. There’s just something that I’ve gotta do. Something that I have been holding onto for so long, that I am ready to let go of, well not let go of per se. And I want to say the right words, and I don’t want you to think I’m some loser, and then you will finally come to your senses and realise...”

“Liz, do not even think about finishing that sentence! I would never think of you as a loser, just tell me will you.”

“Well I’ve got something to give you...”

Ever since the world began it's been that way
For woman and man were created
To make love their destiny
Then why should true love be so complicated? Oh

**I remember handing over the small square box that held my charm. His charm. I was so scared, that he would think it was just some childish thing that I had yet to let go of. I had made my decision to give him the charm after the Tess incident. So after school I had rushed home, and unsealed the charm. Then I had to rush to the shops, to deal with some unfinished business. Then a couple of hours later me and Max were sitting face to face on my bed. I remember how I thought it was a deja vu. Me and Max had been sitting in that exact position when we had finally admitted our feelings. That bed was so special to me. So many defining moments happened on that bed, pillow fights, talks. Moments that would define both of our futures. Seal both of our futures.**

I know something about love
You gotta take it and
Show him what the world is made of
One kiss will prove it
If you want him to be
Always by your side
Take his hand tonight
Swallow your foolish pride and

“Well I’ve got something to give you. And I want you to wait until I have finished before you open it. I had this whole speech prepared, Wow I never thought it would be this hard. Ok, I’ll begin with this story. About a little girl. A little girl who always seemed to be looking for that special someone; That someone who would never leave her, never abandon her. She didn’t understand the full meaning of it before, but she held something very close to her heart. It started when she was in the third grade, all she wanted was a best friend. Someone to talk with, someone to laugh with, someone who would be her friend forever. She thought she found this person, but that was just a child's naivety to think you could find such a person at such a young age. But this girl was beyond her years, she had an old soul. Finally she met another girl who would become her best friend, this girl would introduce her to a boy. They would all become the three musketeers. They were all best friends.

But the young girl still held that special something close to her heart. She couldn’t split it in three, and plus she felt there was still something missing. He heart still wasn’t complete. She was still looking for that best friend. That one person who she would be able to turn to for anything. That one person she could totally open up to and be herself around.

Well the years passed by. This girl began to grow up. But that special something remained close to her heart. It represented something to her. It meant something to her. She started to question whether she rested too much on this thing. She started to question whether this special person was out here, and if he was would she ever find him. It scared her to think she might not.

But one day in high school her life changed. She was just sitting preparing for her next class, when a boy walked in. There was something special about this boy, something that drew her to him. Maybe it was his eyes, that showed so much of who he was. But her heart started pounding, she worried that he might here it. The next thing she knew she was talking to him. She had no idea what she was saying at the time, all she was aware of were those eyes that were staring right back at her.

They became friends. Then they became good friends. Then they became best friends. They would talk, they would laugh, she would cry, he would listen. They just seemed to click. The girl knew instantly that this was the boy she had been searching for. The boy who would eventually possess that special something that she wore so close to her heart. They were best friends for two years, and she still hadn't given it to him. But then one day, she had an apparition. She suddenly realised she was in love with her best friend. She wondered if he felt the same, she worried that he wouldn’t.

She kept her feeling to herself. But not for long. One day she was upset about him seeing a girl, she blurted out how she felt, and she became so scared that she might have wrecked everything they had developed. But she hadn’t he told her that he felt the same way. It was like two pieces coming together to make a whole. It was beautiful. But she still kept that special something close to her heart. Until the day when she realised, that she meant as much to him as he did to her. She realised that he wouldn’t leave her, and she realised that it was time to give him her past, her present and future.

Now this girl sits in front of this boy and asks...

Tell him that you're never gonna leave him
Tell him that you're always gonna love him
Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right now

“Will you take my heart, will you protect it with your own. Will you love me fore eternity, because I will love you beyond that...and he replies...”

“Liz. I love you. I love you more then I ever thought I was capable of loving someone. But right now there something that I want you to do. Place your hand over my heart and tell me what you feel.”

“It’s beating Max.”

“Yes Liz. It’s beating for you. Now Liz put your other hand on your heart...They are beating in time. The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were special. But each day I realise more and more that special doesn’t even begin to describe you. Liz, I will protect you heart, but only on one condition..”

“What Max”

“That you will take mine in return.”

“God I love you Max. I never thought I could love someone as much as I do you.”

“So can I open my present now Liz?”

“Of course max.”

**I remember Max’s face as he opened the present. I remember how a tear rolled down his cheek. That was the first time I saw Max Evans cry. I remember how those words he said next made me cry.**

“Liz. Can I wear it?”

“Max. You don’t have to wear it, I just need you to have it.”

“Liz. I want to wear it. I want everyone to know that I am in love with the greatest girl in the world, and that one day this girl will be my wife. I want to hold this close to my heart, like you did for so many years. Liz I don’t think you realise how much this means to me. I love you.”

“Max turn it over, there’s something on the back...”

“[I}my heart. my soul. my everything. my max. I am yours Liz. Forever.”

Tell him that you're never gonna leave him
Tell him that you're always gonna love him
Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right now

The Exciters: Tell Him

posted on 18-Feb-2003 11:08:21 PM

Perfection, it goes right alongside happiness if you ask me. Only those greatest moments of happiness are the moments when everything is perfect. No matter how hard you might try to seek that little bit of imperfection, if you are truly happy you won’t find it. I have one moment like that. I remember it so clearly. It was after Max and I had graduated from West Roswell High. It was before Max and I had graduated from Harvard. It was before Max had opened his own law firm, and I had become a doctor. It was after we decided we wanted to chase our dreams.

Max and I would have followed each other to the end of the earth if it meant that we were together. We would have given up our dreams to be together. But our dreams and being together were one in the same.
We had both decided we wanted to go to Harvard before we graduated. We had both decided that when we got to Harvard we would share housing. Max had decided he wanted to follow in his fathers footsteps and become a lawyer. I had decided I wanted to be a doctor. A paediatrician.

I wish that life was like it is in the movies
cos the hero always gets his way
No matter how hard it gets on that dark lonely road
At the end he’s got a smile on his face

My decision was made for me when I met a young girl called Sidney. She was the daughter of Max’s boss Brody, she was young and she was dying. I wanted to help young kids like her, I wanted to save them; Not all at once, I knew that was impossible. But one by one. I wanted to make an impact on this world; On these kids and their families. I wanted them to live beyond their paediatric years. I knew I wouldn’t be able to save all of them, but I wanted to save the ones that I could. Sidney was saved; The wonders of modern medicine. And if I couldn’t save them I wanted to make their last days on earth as painless as possible.

But when they threw me out to the lions
No one saved me as I fell from your grace
No one wrote me new lines, for what I said wrong
What I did wrong I could not erase

This cause would come to mean so much to me. That day of perfection was after I had made the decision to become a doctor, but before I followed through on that dream. It was after I had promised myself to help the sick kids who couldn’t afford it, but before I would open a clinic especially for these kids.

This is real life, this is real love
This is real pain that much I’m sure of
These are real tears
these are real fears inside
That I can’t hide

Have you noticed a trend that follows this day of perfection. Before it happened my dreams were just that, dreams. Things I wanted to achieve, but was unsure If I ever would, or even could. After that day these dreams became reality. It was like that day was suddenly a trigger, that would force everything in my life to come together, all my dreams to come true. That day where I experienced perfection, will always exist in my mind just as it happened. There are no edits or out takes; There are no additional moments added in for drama or romance.

I wish that I could be a white knight in armour
With an army just to bring you back home
But I’ll admit of scared of dialling your number
And someone else is gonna answer the phone

How it happened was perfect, and it would remain that way in my mind. Perfect and unedited. There are no alternate endings, or gag reels. The ending is yet to be determined, but I know how I want it to end. All our mistakes and all our imperfections are untouched. because it is all of these things that make this moment so perfect. We may have stumbled over our lines a little, but that doesn’t matter. It never did. It are these things that make it real. These mistakes and mishaps that let me know that It did really happen. That it is not some movie playing out in my head.

Why can’t it be like it is on tv
when the orchestra plays and you come back to me

I could have deleted some scenes from my head. I could have altered them to suit some dream land. But that’s not reality. Reality is feeling, seeing, living. Reality is experiencing the good, the bad and the ugly. Reality is having emotions but not letting them control you. All the time. Reality is your memories. They are memories because you experienced them. You lived through them. You may have succeeded, you may have survived, you may have been hurt, and you may have been so tempted to erase them from your mind, but they are there for a reason.

This is real life, this is real love
This is real pain that much I’m sure of
These are real tears
these are real fears inside
That I can’t hide

To remind you of all the lessons you have learnt in life. For every mistake you made, for every time you cried, there has been a reason and a lesson learned. You need to remember all these things, the good times and the bad times, to ultimately survive. They happened for a reason and that reason is the lesson. Memories are priceless, they cannot be altered or changed, because that would devalue your life. The way that you have lived it, things that you have done in your life would be changed. Turned into a dream, a fantasy. And that is not reality.

This is real life, this is real love
These are real wombs that I’m bleeding from
And I realise this is real

Max and I, we had bumps and bridges to cross over. And I admit that sometimes it felt like it was too hard, that there was too much going against us. They were only fleeting thought though. Fleeting moments where we would feel sorry for ourselves, and then realise how lucky we were. How lucky were to be able to pursue our dreams, and how lucky we were to do it together.

I always thought that our love
was a story book tale
god knows that I never dream
in the end it would fail

We don’t dwell on those things anymore. Materialistic things. There is so much more going on around us now. Things that are more important then just Max or myself. But every time I think of perfection, I think of Max, and that one moment that would seal our fate, our future, and our lives together. That was the day Max proposed. It was perfection. It was real life.

This is real life, this is real love
This is real pain that much I’m sure of
These are real tears
these are real fears inside
That I can’t hide

When I think about how it all came about now, it does feel like a strange dream. Like it’s all to good to be true, like I’m living someone else's life. But then my eyes will fall on this world that we have made fore each other and I know that this is reality. I am one of the lucky few who actually get to live out their dream. Is it luck, or is it fate? I guess we will never know, but what I do know, is that that day when Max proposed, turned out o be the best day of our lives...For more then one reason. For three reasons actually. And it went exactly like this...

‘Cos this is real life, this is real love
This is real pain that much I’m sure of
These are real tears
these are real fears inside
That I can’t hide

This is real life, this is real love
These are real wombs that I’m bleeding from
And I realise this is real

“Max are you home?”

“Liz, I’m in here. Don’t come to me I’ll come to you. What are you doing home so early anyway?”

“Oh, I asked if I could get off early. It’s no big deal. I’ve been working overtime for them anyway.”

***At this point in our lives, we were just cementing our place at Harvard. Subjects had been chosen, jobs had been found, and me and Max had not had a lot of time to spend with each other. It was our third year at school. There had been a few bumps along the way but we were still together and we were still happy. I remember how max came out of the bedroom that day and grabbed my waist from behind, I‘d been gazing up at a picture of me and Max. It was one of our favourites. It had been taken when we weren‘t paying attention to anything or anyone but each other. It was at our graduation from West Roswell High, and the world around us just seemed to disappear until it was only the two of us. I remember how Max said... ***

“ I love that picture.”

“I know. It’s one of my favourites. We’ve come so far since then Max. We look so peaceful in that photo. So young and innocent. Now the future seems so unsure. I mean what are we going to do after we graduate? Are we going to stay here? Are we going to go back to Roswell?”

“Liz. I can’t tell you what the future holds, but I can tell you that whatever it holds we will be ok, just as long as we are together. I will go wherever you want to go Liz. I will follow you across the country, across the oceans if I have to. I can’t tell you what the future is going to be, because I can’t see into it, but what I can tell you, is what I want it to be. I want my future to be with you Liz. I want to have children with you Liz. I want to live with you, I want to grow old with you. I want to be with you Liz. I want all of those things so much. That is how I see my future.”


“Shhh Liz. I haven’t finished. We can’t live in the future, but we can make that happen. We can only live in the present. And right now, right at this time I know that I want to spend the rest of my life taking care of you, loving you. That is my purpose on this planet Liz. To make sure you reach all your goals, pursue all your dreams. I want to be there to guide you, to encourage you. I want to be there when you graduate top of your class...”

“You will be there Max...”

“Liz, I don’t just want to be there as your boyfriend. I want to be there as your fiance, as your future. I want the world to know that I love Liz Parker and I am going to marry her. If you’ll have me...
Elizabeth Marie Parker will you let me be there for you as your equal, your soul mate, your fiance. Will you let me care for you, love you. Will you let me make all your dreams come true. Because I know one day you will reach for the stars and I want to be there right alongside you. Liz Parker will you let me wake up every day for the rest of our lives with you lying beside me? Will you let me fall asleep, knowing you are next to me, ands will be forever? Will you let me love you till the end of time and beyond?
Liz Parker I have loved you from the first moment I saw you, and I will love you until the last. Will you marry me?”

***you can only imagine what was going through my head at that moment. What was going through my heart. I could see him wondering too. So I told him...***

“Max, you had me at hello, you had me at hello. I want all those things so much. I want to be with you, I want the world to know that One day this great man will be my husband. I want the world to know that this man, you max, with the most gentle soul, with the most caring eyes, with the most prefect mind, chose me. Out of every girl in the world he chose me. I might never understand why, but I will take it for all it’s worth. Max Evans, right now, right in this instance, you have made all my dreams come true. I loved you the, I love you now, and I will love you forever. I have loved you from the first moment I saw you and I will love you to the last. max Evans I would be so proud to become your wife. To become Mrs Liz Evans...”

“Liz there was never any contest. Never. You will always be the girl that holds my heart. I love you so much. So much.”

***That night we made love. It was passionate, it was beautiful, it was perfection, and it was done with a beautiful eternity ring on my left hand. I mentioned earlier that this day was perfect for three reasons. Obviously Max’s proposal, and the other two would come nine months later...***