DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Just living vicariously through them.
SUMMARY: M/L, Liz's POV. AU Liz, Maria and Alex are all friends they don't even know the pod squad, but they do meet under some pretty interesting circumstances.
FEEDBACK: I live for feedback so please, make this little girl happy.
DISTRIBUTION: Ask first and I'm gold.


If someone had told me three weeks ago that I would be friends with Max Evans I would have smiled and patted them on the head. If someone had told me three weeks ago that I would be dating Max Evans I would have laughed openly in their face. For a very long time. And if someone would have said to me that I would be in love with Max Evans I would have smacked them smartly upside their head and given them the number to a good doctor.

I am you know, in love with him...desperately. But I don't know that yet. At the moment I don't even know who he is.

I sit in my AP Lit Comp class, like I do everyday. My mind wanders, obviously not intrigued at the current happenings of the class around me. I search the room, glancing at the vacant faces of my peers around me. Even the teacher seems somewhat bored at whatever he seems to be droning on about at the moment. I wonder what they're thinking. What exactly could be going on in the deepest recesses of their minds, in that spot no one else can reach. Are they thinking about school? Or maybe clothes, boys and girls, that new Britney Spears CD they just have to have. Are they as shallow inside as they appear to be out here? Could Pam Troy actually have a soul? The possibilities seem endless.


I choose to ignore whoever is trying to disturb my reverie. Taking another glance at my peers I concur my decision was the right one, I could have a better conversation with a doughnut than with anyone in here.

"Pssst. Liz? Hey Liz." Unfortunately no one seems to get the clue. I turn my head to see Kyle Valenti waving a note precariously in front of my face, as if it held the meaning of life. And perhaps, to him, it did. I quickly discarded the thought. Kyle Valenti was a popular jock, but he also was the named 'religious guru' of West Roswell. In three weeks time I would be calling Kyle my best friend. But I don't know that yet. Right now I just think he's an idiot.

I sigh in exasperation and reach for the note. He gives me a look telling me I'm obviously not being inconspicuous enough and points vaguely in the teacher's direction. I take the note and take a glimpse towards the chalkboard. Mr. Sortenni seemed too wrapped up in himself and his lesson to care what the rest of the class was doing. I slowly open the note, almost cringing at what I saw written there.

Max Evans is staring at you!

A few thoughts cross my mind. 1) So? 2) Who the hell is Max Evans?

I choose to be more discreet in my response and simply write "And?" I slide the note back over to Kyle and I assume he hands it back to whomever thought this piece of information was important enough to share with me. I look back to the front of the classroom and soon become annoyed with Sortenni's ramblings. I take a quick peek behind me, trying to decipher who in fact had written the note. I quickly find the culprit. Mandy Whitmore, a girl from one of my Advanced Chemistry classes. She opened the note in haste and gasped at it's contents, almost in shock that such an answer was even possible. I laughed slightly, careful not to draw attention to myself. Shaking my head I decide it was imperative to find out who the hell was Max Evans and why in God's name he was staring at me. Not that I really cared. Just for entertainment purposes...of course.


Have you ever felt hollow? Like no matter what you do to fill that gaping void inside of you, the hole just keeps getting deeper? When your name no longer holds any meaning and simple pleasures are something you remember but can never reach again. That's what Roswell does to you. It sucks you in until you feel so claustrophobic, so trapped, and to afraid to leave at the same time.

After my interesting little interlude in fourth period with Miss Whitmore, I head towards the caf in search of the only two people in the world I can stand to be with. They're like me: sarcastic, cynical, and slightly delusional. As you can imagine we are one big basket of sunshine.

I see Maria sitting where we always sit... the farthest away from everyone else. She sits happily munching away on her sandwich, oblivious to the world. I sit across from her and I doubt she even notices my presence.

"Maria." It's more a statement than a question. You know just in case she ever forgets her name or something. She jumps slightly, and her eyes bug out a little. You would think she would get use to me. This happens nearly every day.

"Oh. It's you." she says, then immediately takes another bite. We don't do pleasantries and that's exactly why I decide to skip the crap and get to the point.

"Who's Max Evans?" Maria falters slightly, then begins choking on her sandwich, coughing uncontrollably. After a few moments of this, she decides to swallow and calms down a bit. I choose that moment to wipe off the bit of turkey from my forehead her previous coughing fit placed there. Eww.

"Max Evans?!? You... you don't know who..." her eyes get all bugged out again. "Max Evans is only the most popular, must lusted after guy in school. You've got to be kidding me."

I shake my head negative. Apparently I broke some unspoken rule because she gasps almost dramatically.
"Well you must have heard someone at least talking about him before." she says. I shake my head again. She of all people should know that I don't listen to people outside of our little group. Sometimes I don't even listen to them. People are so overrated.

"I thought you just had a class with him, Liz." Oh yeah... oops.

"I still have no idea who he is. I've never even heard of him until today."

Maria eyes me carefully, never a good sign. "Well, what made you hear of him today? And why are you so interested?" I smile sheepishly... busted. Maria is one of those people who see right through your bullshit. Sometimes I hate that about her.

"Well, I'm not really interested or anything...it's just... apparently he was like... staring at me or something..." I mumble the last part, almost embarrassed. Why should I care if some jock was checking out my ass? I never have before.

But Maria's not even looking at me. her eyes are glued to the crowd. I follow her line of vision, she's staring at a group of people I've never even seen before, and I begin to wonder, where the hell have I been?

"You mean like he is now." Wait, what? My eyes, now trained on the table across the quad as well, meet a pair of rich hazel eyes. As soon as we make eye contact, his eyes lower to the table immediatley... almost shyly. THAT was Max Evans? THAT was staring at ME? THAT was shy?

"He is so not staring at me." I lie, I know he was, but I couldn't let it get to me. I glance back in his direction and see a blonde girl openly flaunting herself around him. I cringe the minute I see her. Wait, why do I care? He's just some jock loser like the rest of them. Okay, so he's built like a Greek God, but really so was David and you don't see me running down to Italy and jumping him now do you? Alright, so I admit this situation is slightly different, but I don't care, I don't. He was probably thinking about football and just happened to be looking in my direction. Twice. Today. Okay so it seems unlikely but I'm sure that's all it is. And even if it wasn't I don't care, I'm anti-relationship girl.

I look back to Maria and her eyebrows are raised suggestively. I know she doesn't believe me. That makes me edgy.

"Well, if you like him so much why don't you date him?" I ask. I hate myself as soon as I say it. When did we time travel back to the third grade?

"Me and Max Evans?" Maria asks incredulously. "Me and Max Evans are just... we're just two very un-meshy things." Did I mention how insightful Maria is?


"So what do you think about Michael Guerin?" Maria asks. I think: who?


"Michael Guerin." I think: which one is Michael Guerin?

I think: this is getting old.
Maria looks at me expectantly, I guess she figures I have to at least know somebody that goes to this school. Still not really knowing which one he is I say "He’s cool." Her eyes are all squinty, like she’s thinking about something really important. I hope this, what’s his name, actually is cool. "He hangs out with Max you know." So?
"So?" I guess that means a great deal to everybody that is not me. "I dunno, I was just thinking we could double or something." She smiles innocently at me and I’m surprised milk isn’t coming out of my nose right now. What is she thinking? This entire school has gone nuts. "Me and Max? No, we’re whatever you call it, we’re non datey type people who are not meshy or whatever." I hate it that I can’t even get out one sentence that remotely makes sense. Alex walks up and looks down at us in confusion. This is what he sees: Maria in heaps of laughter, and me looking mortified with milk rushing out of my mouth.
"So… whatcha talkin about?" he asks. I take that as my cue to leave.

I walk into the gym and head directly to the bleachers. Sometimes, like today, the jocks like to come in and show off their "manliness." I look towards them and wonder how the can be described as people, let alone men. The word ape comes to mind.
"Hey." Someone sits down next to me. If I told you I knew who they were, you know I would be lying. He obviously takes my silence as an invitation and makes himself comfortable by leaning back, resting his elbows on the seats behind us. I glance at him, he’s dressed in black and his hair is sticking in every direction under the sun. Oddly, it works for him. He looks over to me and smiles slightly. Do I know you? What do you want? Is this like ‘bug Liz Parker week’? Did I not get the memo? Go away.
I say, "hey." Okay, so not the best comeback, but I think it gets my point across don’t you?
"Michael." I guess that’s supposed to be his name. Wait… this sounds familiar. Ohhhhh.
"Liz." Take that. I can be mysterious too. He smiles again. I’m beginning to think that’s creepy. "You have Chem now don’t you?" I look over to the clock, class started three minutes ago, woops. "Yeah, I guess I do." I, Liz Parker, being the rebel that I am, have never, and I mean never, been late to class. I hear the collective gasp already…
Michael and I walk into Chem together. Gasp. Told ya. I look over to Maria and I notice her eyes are all bugged out again. I can’t help but thinking that I’ve been doing that to her a lot lately. I move to sit next to her, and Michael follows. Are we lost little boy? I take my seat next to her, careful that I take the chair near the isle, that way he won’t be able to sit next to me. He sits down on the other side of Maria. Good puppy.
"Today we choose lab partners." Says the teacher, after this news, the entire class turns into a verbal frenzy. Oh let’s be partners. Hey wanna be partners. "That is I’ll be choosing lab partners." Ms. Hardy reiterates. The class shuts up at this comment, then immediately groans together in annoyance. Now, you’re probably thinking, oh, this is one of those ‘boy meets girl’ stories, where they get partnered up and fall in love while discussing the periodic table and other romantic shit like that. Uh, no. Not happening here. "Max Evans and Mandy Whitmore." See told ya. I bet poor Mandy’s having a coronary right about now. "Alex Whitman and Maria DeLuca." Okay, that’s not fair. I’m gonna be stuck with some freak again. "Liz Parker and Tess Harding." Wow, look at that, right again.


Lips. Soft and warm.


Hands. Strong and gentle. Caressing…soothing my back. Running through my hair.
Eyes. Those eyes.
You know that old pick up line, ‘it should be against the law to look that good’? Yeah, well this is a citizen’s arrest Max Evans.
Now where did I put those handcuffs? Handcuffs? Handcuffs.
"Hmm?" Was that sickenly dreamy, lovelorn voice really mine?
"Could you please take your place next to Miss Harding. If it isn’t too much trouble." It’s Ms. Hardy, and I am in the middle of class. This is what I see. Right: Maria, trying, and not succeeding mind you,to stop laughing hysterically. Left: Hundreds of eyes staring at me, gaping at me openly, and snickering. So far not so good. Front: Ms. Hardy looking at my disapprovingly, obviously waiting for me to get my ass up and move already. I grab my books and walk towards Tess, head cast down. I don’t even bother to look behind me. He’s back there. I glance at my new lab partner and she looks back at me with a mixture of amusement and disgust. My plan of action: do and say nothing. You’re probably thinking wuss, or something in that general line of thought. My response, screw you, that was humiliating. I just know this is gonna be one of those defining moments in life. The moments you think about when your 88 and on your deathbed. My last word: handcuffs.

I close my door and flop down onto my bed thankfully. That place is hell, I know it, it’s hell disguised as a high school. That devil, he is one evil genius. I peek at my clock, the neon numbers read 2:56. Great, I’m supposed to meet Maria in four minutes, I’m sure she will just love to rip out every single last shred of dignity I have. Oh, well. I was gonna loose it sooner or later anyway, might as well be by a friend. I walk down the stairs, and on my way to the door I see my mother, sitting in the kitchen reading her newspaper intently.
"I’m going over to Maria’s before work. Okay?"
"Yeah sure. Bye honey." She doesn’t even look up. Sometimes I don’t get mothers. One minute they have to know every single thing happening in your life, the next they barely know you exist. As long as there are no boys. I’ve learned this, It’s scientifically proven. You could say ‘I’m goin to Mildred’s.’ No problem there, it doesn’t matter who Mildred is, just as long as she’s female. Now say ‘I’m goin to Max’s.’ No, scratch that. ‘I’m goin to Bill’s.’ Beep beep. That’s the mom radar going off. Now all of a sudden they need to know exactly where you're going, when you’ll be back, and every activity that is to be done while you’re gone. See, Mildred=good. Bill=bad. Go on try it. Just as long as there’s no boys it’s just fine. ‘Hey mom, I’m gonna go commit suicide, k?’ Response: ‘Oh okay honey, just do it in the bathroom I don’t want blood on the good carpet. Oh and there aren’t going to be any boys are there?’ Makes you think.

I walk down the path leading to Maria’s door, like I’ve been doing for years. I know Maria’s house like the back of my hand. Front door: blue adorned with sign saying ‘Aliens do exist, check the personals.’ How that ever got on anyone’s door is beyond me. I knock, because that’s the standardary response when faced with a door. Ms. DeLuca opens it looking a little worried.
"Oh hi Liz, I’m sorry Maria’s not here. She just got picked up by some boy." Uh-oh. Doesn’t Ms. DeLuca know the motherly anti-boy rules? She must have missed that memo too.
"Oh… well that’s okay. I better get back then. Bye." I turn around, confused. Maria never misses our girl chats. Especially on days like today. I’m kinda sad that I won’t be able to tell her what happened in Chem. Oh, who am I kidding, this is great. I now love boys. Okay, so that’s not true either, but hey if one decides to save me from further humiliation I say more power to him.

When my shift begins, the Crashdown is in full swing hysteria. Yay. Did you catch the sarcasm in that? Here it is again. Yay. I go to the back because that’s where my uniform is. Did I mention I hate my uniform , even more than Full House, and that’s saying a lot. Whoever came up with this crap needs to be shot. They gave me antennae for Christ’s sake.

"Hey, Liz."
"Hey, Kyle." Did I mention how much I love Kyle? I didn’t? Good, because I don’t.
"Could I get a Chili Rocket Dog, to go please?"
"Sure, just a sec." I wonder why people even ask. I’m a waitress. That means it’s my job to bring you greasy alien theme food.
"So how…how are you?" I guess Kyle got that memo too. Has every jock in Roswell been contaminated? I can’t take this crap.
"Fine… you?" what else am I gonna say. ‘Well Kyle, I don’t know, how bout I tell you my deepest darkest secrets, because you know, I don’t even know you or anything.’
"I’m good. It’s just that you kinda of got weird in Chem. I got worried." Awww. Now where’s that barf bag I keep handy for occasions like this?
"I’m just tired. It’s no big deal I just dozed off for a sec." Now shut up because I don’t want to be reminded of today anymore.
"It’s just…you were making these weird breathy noises…like you were moaning or something."
"I snore. It’s weird, every time I go to sleep it’s like the neighbor’s are getting free porno."
I feel a tap on my shoulder. It’s about time, Maria. You got some serious explaining to do, bailing on me like that. I turn around and oh my freakin Buddha.
"So is that true?"
It’s mother freaking Maxwell Evans. My dying words: Handcuffs and free porno.


Have you ever just woken up and thought, "Man, I just know today’s gonna be great." You have? Really? What’s that like, because I have no clue. Today is just proof. I know you’re all wondering, "Gee, how’s Liz gonna get herself out of this one." Well, this isn’t ‘Leave it to Beaver’ and I have no freakin clue. I know, I know, you all think I must have some witty remark for everything, but today… let’s just say today’s my off day.

"So is that true?" he says, like it’s no big deal I’ve made a complete ass of myself, in front of an entire restaurant no less.

I bet you’re all on the edge of your seats right now, just waiting for that next brilliant remark to come out of my mouth. Well try this on for size. ‘Gah?’ Yeah, that’s all I got right about now.

"True?" Maybe I can distract him, get his mind off the fact I’m a complete and utter idiot.

"Yeah, about the moaning thing."

"Moaning?" Gee Liz, you’re really on role of stating the obvious. Think, think. There HAS to be a way out of this one.

"Mmmhmmm." He smiles and leans toward me over the counter. Why does he have to be so God damn cute? If only he were ugly, my life would be so much easier right now.

"Well, I have been known to moan on a number of occasions, perhaps you’d like to jog my memory…" Oh…my…God… Was that me? I don’t even know how to flirt.

"Really, well how bout we start with what you were dreaming about."

Man, he’s good. I bet you he knows, he knows, exactly what I was dreaming about. Wait, what is wrong with me. This is some jock, just an ordinary jock, trying to get in my pants. It’s time to put him in his place. That dream… it was just a fluke, just an ordinary fluke, about an ordinary guy. Well not again mister, nu uh, no one messes with anti-relationship girl.

"Well, it started with you… on this counter." I lean toward him seductively. "Then I come out through that door.." I point vaguely toward the back entrance, keeping my eyes on his. He’s smirking now and I love myself. This is so good. I begin to play with his shirt buttons. His eyes follow my movements, almost entranced. "Then…" I move my mouth directly over his ear, making sure I’m just barely touching him. "Then…" I smile to myself, "Then I say, ‘not if you were the last man on earth.’ The end." I lick his ear gently, just so he can barely feel it, and walk away. God, I love me.

I bet you’re all disappointed right now, am I right? You either expected something amazing to come out of my mouth, or some big ole lovey dovey type crap. But you weren’t there. YOU weren’t discussing porn with some guy you just met. YOU didn’t have to figure out an explanation for moaning in class in 3.5 seconds. And YOU did not see Max Evan’s face when I walked away, because let me just tell ya, that was priceless.

I walk into my room and begin searching my bookshelf. I know I’m supposed to be working right now, how could I forget? These damn antennae keep knocking me on the head. But I can’t go back down there, not just yet. I find my sophomore year book and begin flipping through the pages. Now who was at that table? I am now a woman on a mission. I am determined to One: figure the hell out who these people are Two: Find anyway I can to destroy Max Evans and Three: find out who that slut was who was all over Max so I can kick her ass. Wait, scratch that.

Okay, Aldis, Algrove, Almend, Billmont, Boyer, Clivedale, Crestent, Dorince, DeLuca, Demillin, Evans, Evans, Everent,…Wait, there are two Evans? Isabel, there’s an Isabel Evans? I wonder if they’re related. Hmm, okay, Forest, Filmont, Guerin… Guerin, Guerin, that sounds familiar. Oh yeah, that’d be Spikey. I wonder what the hell he wanted. Anyway, Gurman, Harding, Helton. Wait, hold the phone, this Harding chick looks familiar. Oh yeah, lab partner.

"LIZ!!!!!!!!!!!" it’s Maria. Like she has any right to be mad I’m late. I trudge down the stairs leading to the back room. I so do not want to go back there. Man, why am I being such a baby? Get over yourself Parker.

"Hey Maria." I’m not even looking at her. She’s not getting anything out of me, she was out with some boy.

"Don’t hey Maria me. What the hell is going on? First you get all Skinemax on me in Chemistry, now people are asking for you outside."

Huh? "Huh? Who’s asking for me?"

"Oh, I dunno, Max Evans and the Max Evans posse. They’re getting really weird." She’s eyeing me carefully again, I think I mentioned that that’s never a good thing. "What did you do?"

I seduced Max Evans then left him high and dry, so sue me. "Nothing." Do you think that’s believable?

"My ass nothing." Guess not.

"Liz? Liz, are you hiding back there?" it’s Max, I just know it’s Max. Doesn’t he know stalking is illegal in all fifty states? Apparently not, because he’s coming in anyway. I bet you anything my eyes are about to come out of my head. Did you ever watch those cartoons, where the coyote’s eyes get all huge and pop out of their heads? Well, woof woof.

"There you are. I think we need a moment alone, don’t you? Great… let’s go." He’s taking me into the bathroom, why am I not doing anything? Say something Liz, say something. I could be fighting... I could just say ‘screw you meathead’ kick him in the groin and be out of here. But I don’t. I don’t do anything and I find myself locked into a bathroom with Max Evans. Alone. And that hollow feeling? It just got a little deeper.


So here I am, locked into a bathroom with the supposed "hottest guy" in school. And all I can think is: How the hell am I getting myself into these situations? In a couple of weeks I’m gonna think back on today with a smile, even have a good laugh about it. But not right now, right now I’m scared shitless. Which is kind of ironic really, considering I’m in a bathroom.

"Listen Liz, I think we need to talk." Talk? There are phones for these kinds of things psycho. You just don’t go around pulling people into bathrooms. So what do I do? I nod.

Sometimes, I’m just ruthless.

"A… about what happened today…" Why does he sound so nervous? And why in Buddha’s name is he staring at me like that. Last time I checked I wasn’t on the menu. He takes a step closer, and I take a step back. What is he doing? Who does he think he is? He keeps getting closer and closer, and I find myself pressed against the wall. You can just imagine what I look like right about now. Antennae flapping around, hands clenched into the sides of my uniform, and to top it off, the infamous ‘dear caught in headlights’ look. Oh yes. I must be looking pretty damn sexy right about now.

"I know Liz, I know." He knows? He knows? What the hell does he know? The meaning of life? How to make spaghetti? What?

"Wha.." I can’t even finish the thought because he’s kissing me. Oh my freakin God he’s kissing me. What am I gonna do? Should I be kissing him back? Should I… oh wait… oh my God, that’s his tongue. Tongue…in my mouth. Wait, tongue is a distraction…


Stop…can’t….kiss….back….must….be….strong. Okay, I am now kissing him back. I didn’t even know I could kiss. How is he doing that? Kissing can’t be this good. Damn, I wonder how he is in b…

OH DEAR LORDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That would be his hand. Hand has now gone under shirt. Hand is niiiicccceee. NO!!!!! Bad Liz. Bad, bad Liz. You have to stop this madness. You have to stop it now… but…but… screw it.

"mmmmm" yup that’s me. That’s me with an actual reason to moan.


I know I can hear it. I know I can. But for the love of all things holy find somewhere else to pee.

"Liz honey are you in there?" Oh…my…God.

"Uh, hi mom." I break the kiss in panic, but Max doesn’t seem at all bothered by the fact my mother is standing right outside the door. I know this because starts smothering my neck with long loving strokes of his mouth and tongue. And I, for one, am not one for complaining.

"Are you okay Lizzie?" Geez, why is everyone asking me that? Probably because everyone seems to be catching me in these compromising positions.

"Oh, yeah I’m fine mom." Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. "I’m just having some…uh.. womanly problems, you know…" Oh, this is just great. Max snickers slightly, the bastard.

"Oh, it sounds really bad, why don’t you skip work today, okay sweetie." Thank you mommy.

"Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll be out in a sec." Go away, please just go away.

"Alright, I’ll just go tell Maria." Thank you Jesus. I wait until I can’t hear her footsteps anymore, and that’s when I turn on Max. I start smacking him anywhere I can. In other words, I start smacking his chest because I’m so god damn short.

"TALK MY ASS MAX!!!!!!!!" I hate him. I hate him because he lied to me. I hate him because he dragged me into a bathroom and got away with it. I hate him because he’s so damn cute, and I hate him because I want him to do whatever it is that he did again. Repeatedly.

"Okay, okay I’m sorry… stop." He holds up his hands in protest, but I’m so damn angry with myself I keep on hitting him. Finally realizing he’s got 50 pounds on me, he grabs my hands and I immediately freeze. I look up at him, and he’s still looking at me like that. You know, like that. How is that even possible? I’ve made a complete ass of myself yet again, and he still… he still…

"I gotta go." So what do I do? I bolt. Nothing like this has ever happened to me. Ever. I’m miss virginal USA. And now all of a sudden… this is too much.

I run out the door and I don’t stop until I’m safely locked into the haven that is my room. I have a feeling I won’t be getting any sleep tonight.

Have you ever read a book? No, I know you’ve read books before, I’m not finished. Have you ever read a book where an entire paragraph or more is dedicated to just random detail? How can someone just go on and on about how grass is green? Why do they even bother? The golden mists of heaven shined down on me in unearthly shades of blue. Translation: The sky is blue. Big deal.

It’s about 3 a.m. right about now, and I’m not even close to sleep. I turn on my light and groggily stumble to my computer. I click on the little AOL icon and wait to be connected. I love going into chatrooms in the middle of the night. There are never many people there, but the ones who are, are completely nuts. These are the kind of people who will talk about kangaroos for hours, debating on whether they go ‘hoppity hop’ or ‘bouncy bounce.’ Absolute kooks. But I’m not trying to get down on them. These are my people.

I was right. There are only twelve members on, but the current line of discussion is absolutely ingenious. Line of discussion: Capes. I’m not talking about of Cape of Good Hope. I’m talkin about Batman. Spiderman. The Classics. I guess today wasn’t a complete waste after all.


Have you ever watched a show and just hated it because of the utter ridiculousness of it? Now, do you still watch that show? I bet half of you do. And I'll tell you why. When you watch this show, all your energy is focused on the hate you have for this stupid, insignificant thing. And for a few precious moments, the hollow feeling dissipates. That's why I'm sitting here at three o'clock in the morning, discussing capes with absolute strangers. Strangers who just happen to be completely insane.


"Spacehero47 wishes to send you an instant message. Do you accept?" asks the little computer man. I click 'ok.' It's probably just some psycho who wishes to further our riveting discussion on the best color for capes. No harm there.

Spacehero47: Hey Liz.

Wait... huh? I don't give out my real name. Never. When I do give a name, it's usually something elegant or exotic. Like Antoinette, or Loretta, but never Liz.

Adore17: hey...

Way to speak your mind Lizzie. Who is this anyway? I don't recall knowing any spaceheros in my day.

Spacehero47: This is Michael.

Michael? What the hell do you want? Just because I let you sit by me, it doesn't mean we're best friends now freak.

Adore17: Oh. Hey Michael.

Spacehero47: I'm sorry, it's just that... It's Max. I think he's in trouble.

Max? In trouble? Great. This is just great, I've been making out with an ex-convict.

Adore17: Trouble?

Spacehero47: Yeah, with his grades.

Oh, even better, now I'm involved with a stupid ex-convict.

Adore17: What does this have to do with me?

He couldn't possible want me to... no... he wouldn't...

Spacehero47: I was wondering if maybe you could tutor him..?

He would. He did.

Adore17: Tutor?

Spacehero47: Yeah, just a couple times a week Whenever you're not busy.

Adore17: What does he need help with?

Spacehero47: Oh...uh...English.

English? How do you need help with English. Is he like dyslexic or something?

Adore: Well, what do you need me to do?

Why am I so goddamn nice? I could just say screw you, get a dictionary, but nooooo.

Spacehero47: Well he has this paper due on Monday. Could you go to his house tomorrow?

Yeah, like I really want to spend my Saturday with some jock doing his English assignment.

Adore17: Sure, how about around 2:00?

Spacehero: Yeah, okay. I'll tell him tomorrow. Thanx Liz.

So here I am, standing in front of Max Evans's house. Why am I so scared? Get yourself together Parker, this is just business. Just something to put on your college apps. Breathe.

Ding Dong

Let’s take a moment here to be brutally honest. You up for it? That was a rhetorical question. See, whether you care or not this is now honesty time.

I’m scared out of my mind.

How’s that for honest? This is one of those times where you just can’t keep still. You have to keep moving or the anticipation is likely to kill you. I look down at my feet, making sure I haven’t started to do ‘The Electric Slide’ or something as equally as embarrassing. This may interest you, and it may not. Either way this is really happening. I’m really here, and I really really don’t know what to do. And that makes me bitter. Or couldn’t you tell?


I wonder if it really is taking him this long to open the door if it’s just my imagination. Like waiting for the proverbial water to boil…. Okay not even the water takes this long. HELLO??

Maybe I should just leave, I mean he’s a big boy. A jock boy at that. He can just get his sports scholarship and be on his merry way. Why am I even here? I’m leaving.

"Hey Liz."

Sure, now you come.

"Uh, hey." Insert awkward silence here. Check.

"Do you….do you wanna come in?" No, I was thinkin you could just yell out the w

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 27-Aug-2002 10:19:30 PM ]