|posted on 22-Oct-2001 1:41:39 AM|
|Title: What you can't stop|
Couples: M/L ish
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
A/N: Another BS production by the dick around crew. I was listening to Tori and typing random lyrics b/c I was bored shitless and this just came about. It's set when the gang is 20, Max finally finds a way to get to "spot" (Max/Tess' baby) and Liz gets angry and writes him a letter. I like feedback, so it'd be wonderful if I got some, even if you think this sucks.
Do you have nine-inch nails and fascist panties? I do, well not me exactly, I’ve been tortured by those girls to the point where I have them now too. That’s how it works. You just kind of get berated into it, this sick stereotype that all the girls try to follow. It’s pathetic, I know, but you were never a teenage girl. Boys, they have it easy, they are catered to by every single fucking girl in their grade, because they’re just enough of cute, sexy, athletic, smart, adorable, and mean to be noticed. Fuck them, those little boys, running around and thinking their god. Tori Amos, the most intelligent woman to ever live, once said, “you can make me cum, but it doesn’t make you Jesus.” Fuck You and fuck Jesus too, damn cunting carpenter boy, who never actually did much of anything except perform bullshit miracles to cunt loving whores, who got it up the ass from him later, I wonder if that sounds familiar to you Max. That was how saint Paul paid Jesus back later for all the oral sex he gave him, you know, just write a bullshit book called the bible, fill it with stories of stupid floods and an apple and a snake and WHAM BAM THANKYOU MAM, you have a fucking cult around this guy. Well, that really is not the point, but I don’t care, it’s all bullshit really, just like what I’m writing, men suck; I don’t, I swallow and wallow in this emptiness that’s been around for as long as I’ve had this second life, 5 fucking years. You know what else, the man with the golden gun thinks he knows so much, but he doesn’t and when they find him out I wonder what they’ll do, because sweet boy, you’re just a pussy, I know it, you know it, Tess knew it, and now the rest of the fucking world will know. You swear you have a heart, but you don’t, hell I don’t know if you ever did… you’ve ruined me for the last time now, and damn it I’m taking the last hurrah. I win, is the answer that I’ll give to you when I watch you crumble after this wrecking ball hits and your co-dependent ass is off and running, when your better half is gone from you. Fuck you Max, fuck your kingdom, fuck your planet, fuck me and fuck your bastard child too. Not even YOU can stop this from coming Max, what now, upset that your magical crackerjack powers couldn’t pull this one out of the box? Yay-rah-fucking-rah, you found your son, I’m so proud, too bad he hates you, I bet he hates me too. I wonder how even in his youth he knew that you were an asshole, but it’s taken me too damn long to find it out. Well now I know, and shit Max, you’ve already ruined me, just like you’re going to ruin this child, and probably our child too. Did I mention that? I’m PREGNANT you cunt, and yes, unlike that whore, Tess, I used the pill, a diaphragm, and I think you even used your inner Trojan man. Fuck you, I won’t let you touch our daughter and ruin her life when you go back home to go play king for a day, and when you come back, if you come back, I won’t be waiting in open arms- I’ll be waiting with a gun.
[ edited 28time(s), last at 18-Feb-2002 11:24:24 PM ]
|posted on 23-Oct-2001 12:53:39 AM|
|Um... wow you guys want me to write a whole story based on this garbage? Woo-hoo... it's really cool that you guys like this... it was really spur of the moment and I had no intention of spinning this into a story, but hey if you guys want me to, I'll try. :D Thanks for your interest in my crazy ramblings, it really means a lot to me. :D|
|posted on 24-Oct-2001 6:51:39 PM|
|Ok, wow um here's part 2, which is another letter (I think that's the way I'm going to go with this... it makes sense to go that route, IMO) This part takes place a few hours before the other one, when everything is still wonderful in Dreamer-land. Tell me what you think.|
September 25th, 2004
Hi, I'm your mother, and I just found out that you were inside of me. It's a really strange feeling to know that you created life five years after your own ended. Although, I feel it is only appropriate that the third transformation in my life to begin on this date. It was lovely that night, but I'll spare you the details, since I'm sure that when you read this you don't want to hear about your mom pining after your dad. I'm sure that I didn't when I was your age.
Sixteen, what a wonderful and yet such a horrible year of your life, which I'm sure that you will find in the days ahead. Yes, it is quite daunting to be here, at twenty, writing a letter to your daughter (yes I knew from the moment that you were concieved that were going to be our beautiful daughter), that will be read in sixteen years. I know this may look corny now (is that still a catchphrase? I don't know, obviously), but this is something that I was always jealous of my best friend Maria for. See, her mother wrote her letters during her pregnancy, and gave them to her, along with the keys to the jetta, the day that she turned sixteen. They are so closely tied together, they possess a bond that I do not have with my mother, your grandmother, a bond that I hope to share with you.
Um... hmm wow what do I write in this letter? How about that I can already feel you. Isn't that strange? Maybe it's not... I don't know. I'm in awe. But at the same time, well you'll be 1/2 alien and how long until you're born? I mean I've still got a flat stomach, so it can't be the month that Max claims that it will be, but I can feel this change within me, this power, this spirit that wasn't there before, and it's AMAZING. I already told you that I knew right after you'd been concieved that you were a girl, and you had your daddy's deep soulful eyes and my ears. Thank god, I mean his ears are adorable, but I'm kinda glad that you don't have the whole monkey ears thing going on. What I saw was a perfect blend of the two of us, and it was you. The ultimate reward for our star-crossed love, and I couldn't have imagined anything better. I'm going to tell your father today, I've already baked him a nice dinner, loaded with tobasco sauce, which I might add, is a little habit of yours that I've adopted ever since that night. I've been very discrete about it so far, since I've been waiting for the perfect moment, and here it is. I wonder what your daddy will say... I'm sure whatever it is, it will be wonderful.
Oh! Oh! Here he comes (can you tell that I'm nervous darling?), pulling that cheville into the driveway of our small apartment complex... well honey, here goes nothing.
|posted on 24-Oct-2001 10:13:58 PM|
|Thanks for the FB guys. Yeah the first letter was written after part 2 and right before part 3. Trust me it'll make more sense as it goes on.|
Hey baby, it's mommy. I guess you're wondering how everything went down, after your err Max came home. Well, it didn't go well. He said that he finally found a way home and he's taking it... maybe I should have expected it, he is an alien king after all, but what about YOU? What about ME? I'd think that we are the most important people in his life, but sadly-we're not. That's not even the most upsetting part of this, he ended things between us, rather abruptly, and he didn't even want to hear what I had to say... so I wrote him a nastly letter and threw all of his stuff out of our apartment onto the street. It was a long time coming, I mean I love him, but sometimes love isn't enough.
How did this all start? Hmm... when we were young we always loved eachother, but never said a word to the other, then on 9/18/99 I was shot and Max, he saved me with his "alien voodoo" as your Aunt Maria would say. We developed a relationship soon afterwards and everything was wonderful until destiny arrived at our door. You see, your father is a reincarnated king of an alien planet called Antar, and they sent his whore of a 'bride' Tess along for the ride. Well. Max and I tried to ignore destiny, but then just as things were being normal again, a Max from another future's 2014, came to my balcony and made me make him fall out of love with me. So I said all this garbage and did all these silly things to make this happen, I was so naive honey, I believed him without a second thought, even though deep down I knew that it was just a cop-out. Well, I made him think that I lost my virginity to an ex-boyfriend of mine, and well, this caused him to ruin my life, and loose his virginity to Tess, who is a murdering wench, and the mother of your half brother, who neither Max or I have met. Then somehow, she left for Antar, pregnant, and Max and I got back together, I still think that I was second best, but whatever. We searched for Max's son and eventually he just gave up, and we moved in together (since our parents forbade us from seeing eacother) and kind of just existed. The brightest students at West Roswell High gave up everything for love. HA! The town ate that one up. Ms. Harvard Liz Parker ended up in a run down apartment with Max "Yale" Evans, without even bothering to attend college. It's kind of tragic how it all happened, but oh well... there was one good thing about all this-YOU.
I'm pregnant and Max left. I'm scared 'Ria, REALLY scared. God, I'm bluring the whole page with my tears, I'll write another letter when I can actually think clearly.
[ edited 1 time(s), last at 24-Oct-2001 10:14:21 PM ]
|posted on 25-Oct-2001 1:35:28 PM|
|Thanks for the FB guys :D|
Um, yeah probably you guys can all tell that I adamently hate Max right now, so this is one of the fun fun ways that I make him look like the asshole that he is, and Liz well Liz just needs to tell him to fuck off. Maybe it will all be good in the end? I don't know.
I know that I said that I'd write you sooner, but I've been feeling so drained. Is this normal? I mean have you and Michael... oh right, you're smarter than me... GOD I miss Roswell, Santa Fe is so lonely and big, it's sad really... but I can't go home, oh no Liz Parker is the dark spot on the town, can't have her around... poor Liz Parker, got knocked up by her dead beat boyfriend, who left to go home. Sorry, I.. I really need a friend now, but I can't come home, Daddy dearest will kick me out... I bet he'll hate me even more after this... a big fat fucking I told you so. Fuck him, and fuck Max. Why are all the men in my life assholes or are murdered? WHY. Sorry... baggage... I know... but I need to let it out sometime.
Ok, so this is how it happened... I'm sure you've gone through millions of vials of cedar oil waiting for this letter, Michael must love that. Max and I made love on the anniversary of the shooting, we used multiple types of protection- but they didn't work. I knew right after I'd had my orgasm (GOD that sex was sooo good that night.), that I was pregnant. It's like you FEEL this person being created right then and there... it's amazing, it's frightening, it's so beautiful... and I CAN'T SHARE THAT... I wonder if Max made me pregnant just to hurt me even more, you know twist that knife in my heart a little, watch me bleed... sorry, hormones.
Then exactly a week later, he says that his son contacted him, he said that he was leaving, wouldn't let ME say one fucking word to him, we got into a huge arguement, and I threw his shit out on the street, and told him to fuck himself. I wrote him a little note too... where I said that I'd kill him if he ever came back and told him that I was having his daughter... damn, shit, I should have told him how much he was giving up on... his perfect little world with the white picket fence, his perfect little wife, and his perfect little girl. Oh god Maria, he said that it was his DUTY and that was more important than ME. What happened to the Max we knew from high school, I mean ever since that night that our daughter was concieved, he's been so different... like when he was after Alex died... GOD. SHIT. Oh well fuck him, I don't need him.
Oh and guess what he did the day after I kicked him out? He came back in the middle of the night and wrote me a letter! ME! A letter! HA. Here's what it said:
I'm sorry that I was so harsh, but you said some harsh things too. Do I need to remind you that I have a son and a planet that I need to save? You always told me to follow destiny, so I'm doing it... and I know you don't mean anything by the whole gun bullshit. I can't believe you used the pregnancy excuse to get me to stay... that's beyond low Liz... what's happened to you? I'll see you when me and my son get back... Maybe, or maybe I'll just stay and play king for a day for the rest of my life.
-Max "Jesus" Evans.
THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE. I hate him so much, you don't know 'Ria, I swear that I could just kill him... damn maybe I should... he obviously wasn't a good king the first time around... so why the fuck do they want him back?
At least you got the good alien.
|posted on 25-Oct-2001 11:22:41 PM|
|Hello? Hello? M.O.D. are you out there...|
(just a random bump)
[ edited 1 time(s), last at 26-Oct-2001 2:27:55 PM ]
|posted on 28-Oct-2001 10:45:34 PM|
|Woohoo! Thanks for the FB guys :D This is one of the 2 parts I'm posting tonight. :DD|
Hey baby, it's been a month since you first came and I feel... so empty because Max isn't here (god I hate him... the bastard ruined me and took a part of me with him.), but it's strange becuase you're here and you make me so full of life. I wonder where he is... I hope he regrets what he did to us... you know what's awful is that I can still FEEL him inside me. I just want to rid myself of him, not you honey, just him. God, this must be so awkward for you, I think that Maria may be able to help, her father left her mother too... maybe I should talk to Amy, Maria's mom. You're showing now... I looks so huge! Well, I guess it will be less than nine months... cuz according to this book it looks like I'm 5 months along. Oh! What was that? You just kicked me! Wow... your first kick was a 1:39 pm today. Oh and another good thing about this is NO MORNING SICKNESS! Yes that alone makes you perfect. Oh honey, I love you... I love everything about you. Well, I don't like how big I've gotten, but that's just a small setback. Um, hmm... well I definately am feeling drainedm I think that's because your father, the asshole who oh so kindly considered us (sorry, it's just hard to not be angry at him for you. I wonder if at sixteen you'll have wanted me to avoid the subject or go on and on about how much of an ass he is.) is so far away. Another thing is that I well really miss my friends... they would help me with your birth, since well you can't be born in a hospital... I wish Maria would write... I dunno what's up in Roswell. Everything will be fine, in a few weeks I'll be at Las Cruces and you'll be born. :D
|posted on 28-Oct-2001 11:03:07 PM|
|Um... I have a question for you all... in this section it alludes to a potential future dialog heavy scene. Do you want me to write that part as a letter from Liz to her baby or in real time w/ everyone involved there and then a letter to her baby?|
Hi, it's Michael. Maria told me about what happened and you know what? I want to pummel Max into the ground for doing this to you. I mean really, what the fuck did you do to deserve this? And then thinking that you weren't going to be straight about having his kid, asshole. God Liz, and I can't even stop it... I feel so helpless. It's strange, ever since that night where I read your journal? (You remember that right?) I've had this need to protect you from everything bad in the world. When you walked away after we found out aboust destiny, I wanted to tell you it was ok and hold you close as you cried on my shoulder. After you pretended to sleep with Kyle, I was disapointed in you, like you failed me... and boy did I feel like an asshole once Maria explained that it was to save MY life. Then when Max told me about fucking Tess I wanted to kill him for doing this to you... and here I am, again plotting ways to kick Max's alien ass, for doing this shit to you. Even when we were in grade school I was annoyed at the way that Max looked at you. I know that we aren't even the same species, but you're like the closest thing that I've had to a sister (that time where you baked me cookies for my birthday in 4th grade b/c I said that no one had ever celebrated my birthday was one of the best moments of my life)... and I think of you as my sister. Is that ok? Or is that too weird? Max has fucked with you one too many times and if "Jesus" ever comes back, I'll crucify him... fucking asshole. And no, I didn't even know that he left... maybe Isawhore did too? I really don't talk to her anymore, not after she started acting like a stuck up bitch. Have you named your daughter yet? Do you know what she looks like? When's she due? I'm coming up there with Maria, I don't care how many times that she says that I need to stay, because I NEED to be there with my family, my sister and my niece.
That was the sweetest thing that anyone has ever said to me, and I would be honored if I could be your sister. It's kinda strange, because I've always thought of you as my brother, especially after that night where you told me you read my journal (you know I wasn't all that bothered that it was you, I was actually relieved.) I wish you were here... I could use a shoulder to cry on. As for names, I'm thinking about Alexia, Michaela, Eleni, or Noella. Do you have any suggestions?
Your sister, Liz.
[ edited 1 time(s), last at 28-Oct-2001 11:12:58 PM ]
|posted on 29-Oct-2001 7:37:26 PM|
|Thanks for the FB guys :D I really don't know how I'm going to end this either... on one hand, I don't want to think that Max is that awful and I want to make this some sort of BS Tess thing, but at the same time... I hate Max and think that he deserves a major ass kicking. *Sigh* Decisions Decisions.|
Oh and Michael is my sweet cherry pie momma baby... and this part is totally not including Liz.
I'm sorry that it's taken so long to write. I mean it was strange to get a letter from you... we usually talk on the phone, but I guess that's gone now too. The joys of having an alien- they can BS money and get powers to work w/o paying for it. God Liz, when are you due? Do you have any idea? Fuck it, I don't care, I'm going to Santa Fe to help you babe. I can't believe that Max did that to you. He actually thought that you were faking it? Well if he comes back, you won't get a chance to kill him, Hurrican Deluca will do it first. :( I hate the way that you sound, so depressed. Liz, chica, you need a hug.
Hm... ok so what's up in Roshell. I'm sure that you're curious. Well, your parents are no better than the last time we talked. Your mom still blames your dad for driving you away (yeah, it was his fault) um... Isabel and Jesse got a divorce, over GET THIS-TRUST ISSUES. She's dating Kyle "the policeman" Valenti now. Who would have thought he would go into law enforcement? Um... the Kit Shickers are a big local draw, and my mom finally took Jim back... let's just say it took a LOT of convincing.
So that leaves Michael and Me. Well, you know how I was telling you about how we were thinking about getting a place? We did, last week, and I think he's going to propose. Um... I kinda told him about "the Max thing" because I was just getting so angry at him and he uh wanted me to include a letter to you from him, so it's in here. (No, I didn't influence him. He wouldn't even let me read it.)
Chica, I suck at writing letters. I hope this gets better... I'm coming there next week... it's the least I can do.
I know your letter was short, but it made my day. I think that you should wait until she comes out to name her, but I do have a bias towards Michaela. I finally got Maria to write... even if it isn't about how she's feeling (really badly) because I think that you would like to hear from her. Don't be upset that she isn't ready to discuss this at length... she feels like she's lost her other best friend to an alien thing b/c your letter was so depressing... how could it NOT be? Oh yay rah rah Max knocked me up and left me! WOOHOO! Sometimes... ugh. (I keep telling her that you're still here... and you've had this anger in you for as long as you've been alive, and that I think it's about time that you get REALLY angry. You know? You've done so much for all of us without a thanks and now you're supposed to be ms. Mary Sunshine? Fuck no.) Uhm... hmm... Isawhore's fuck of the week is Kyle... poor son of a bitch, he's such a sucker for tits and ass. We're coming up there to visit, you must be close to due now. I've been reading books on birthing a baby so that I could uh maybe help you if you'll let me. But how are you doing, REALLY? You don't need to bullshit with me, I'm not like everyone else... I don't expect you to be anything other than who you are- Liz Parker. So whatever it is, just tell me... and I'll tell you. Um... one of the things that I want to ask you about is Maria. Do you think that I should propose? I really don't know if I'm ready for that step, but she keeps acting like she expects it... DAMN I'm fucking 20 years old, I'm not ready to settle down yet... I mean I work a fucking security job at Meta Chem... how can I provide for 2 people? Liz I need your insight here.
-Your Brother, Michael.
|posted on 30-Oct-2001 6:00:26 PM|
|honeybee- It didn't sound like you were telling me how to write my story... I've been having this whole "issue" with Max... I mean right now I have 3 endings in mind and I can't decide which is the best of the three... soooo it's always good to hear imput on it cuz I can't decide which one of the three to use. In all of them, Liz kicks his soddy ass... it just happens in different ways, and with different results. It also will probably depend on which way I decide to go with this (full on letters... or towards the end add dialog as in jumping to present tense after the baby's born.) Which is like this whole big thing that I need to decide on... but I'm glad that you like it so far. |
|posted on 2-Nov-2001 8:29:37 PM|
|Thanks for the FB guys :D I still wanna know your opinions on whether or not I should jump to dialog after the baby's born or when Max gets his ass back in town... or should I just leave the whole thing in letters.|
Lesse-I don't think that Max will be much later on, but the baby needs to be born, the parents need to be delt with, and M&M have to write letters to the baby. (Among other things)
Michael and Maria are coming up today... Maria's going to freak! I'm huge, but it's ok. Um... I'm really excited to see Michael... he's like the brother that I've never had. I think I'll be giving birth soon... and I'll be the first human to give birth to a 1/2 alien baby. I wonder if you'll have powers... maybe, if you're real good (what am I talking about... of course you'll be good) Michael can help you learn how to use them. I'm moving back to Roswell, even though my parents will probably be less than pleased. I tried calling them... but daddy dearest hung up the phone before I could get three words out. Men suck, well except for Uncle Michael, Maria's trained him well. Your uncle Alex would be the other exception if Daddy's little alien whore didn't kill him first... Alex was the best guy friend that anyone could ask for, and I hope you have someone like that. I still haven't decided on a name for you... Michael says to wait, Maria says to make a decision now. (Ha Ha... opposites do attract.) I'm leaning towards Mikayla Maria or Alexandria Marie or Alessandra Claudia... at any rate you are taking my last name because I think your father won't be around at all and he's nothing more than a sperm donor... honey, if you believe that it's strange to think of your father like this, um... all I can say is that I'm still dealing with it... but it gets easier.
[ edited 1 time(s), last at 5-Nov-2001 11:30:57 PM ]
|posted on 5-Nov-2001 5:29:14 PM|
|Thanks for the FB guys :D Don't worry the Maxhole is coming soon.|
Oh and Pandas-That's how you spell Mikayla? Whoops. LMFAO you can tell that I know how to spell.
Michael and Maria have been here for two weeks now and it's great, I mean its nice to reconnect with my friends. They've been the most loyal of the bunch and sometimes I wonder how I managed to be without them for so long. I hadn't seen any of them since highschool... Max and I kinda just drifted around the US on leads for his space ship and his "son", the same one that he left us for... GOD! I was so stupid! It's ok because I'm smart now, I know what it's like to fall hard, what it's like to be the pawn in some crazy alien chess game. I'm awake now.
I'm starting school next fall, I just finished my applications. Las Cruces has a day care and one of the admissions councellors hinted that they'd give me a full scholorship, so it's all good. Um... nothing much is happening... except for the adorable glowing handprint that shows up sometimes... you know, just from that I know you're going to be drop dead gorgeous one day. I've come up with the perfect plan to tell my parents about you... I go to their apartment and ring the bell. You know, straight to the point? One day I'll tell you about how the relationship between my parents and me is so bad... but it has to do with daddy dearest.
Oh! And what I realized last Tuesday is that I have powers... well I've had powers for a long time, but I mean like STRONG powers, which I found out about when I got really angry b/c there was a fire in the oven and I kinda blasted a hole in the wall trying to put it out. Michael, Maria and I shared a good laugh over that one. Michael said that he did something like that when he wasn't in control of his powers, so he volunteered to help me... as much as I dislike anything to do directly with Max, I'm glad that I have these powers now so that I can relate to you and help you out with them.
|posted on 12-Nov-2001 11:29:15 AM|
|Sorry this took so long to get out... stupid real life problems. Thanks for the FB guys and I hope to get out another part out today.|
Today was the big day... you came into the world at 3:17 in the afternoon without a hitch. Uncle Michael and Aunt Maria were there to help me give birth to you. It really wasn't as painful as everyone makes it out to be, but that may be your alien phisiology, but it still hurt more than anything. Don't worry darling, it was beautiful at the same time... I think I finally understand the phrase "pain is beauty" or was it "beauty is pain?" I'm really tired right now... but I wanted you to know what's going through your crazy mother's mind right now.
What I want you to know is that you really can come to be about anything, because I've probably heard it all already. We'll be open and honest about everything because we're all we've got. Sure Michael and Maria will be a big help, but they don't feel the bond that we share. Can you feel it as a baby? This connection that ties us together as mother and daughter? I still smile as I watch your smal sleeping body while I write this, do you know what your first emotion was once you emerged from my body? It was wonder. Not fear, but wonder. You are so like me... a budding scientist.
God you're so beautiful with your wide eyes and the dark fuzz on your head and that adorable button nose and your tiny arms and legs. You didn't scream when you came out like most babies, you just whimpered... I think you definately arn't going to be a talkative child. That's ok, neither was I... or Max, who I am FURIOUS with... I will definately write you a long letter about that... eventually.
I bet you're wondering why I chose Adreana and not Mikayla or Alissandra. Well, it was because I realized that there are too many important people in my life to name you after one of them, so I chose the name of a princess in a story that Grandma Claudia used to tell me as a little girl. (She was from another planet too... how appropriate?) I let Michael and Maria choose your middle name and they decided on Katrina. So that's how you became Adreana Katrina Parker. Ha! Parker sounds so wrong at the end of all that, but I think it suits you... a beautiful name for a beautiful girl.
You're absolutely perfect... I can't believe how lucky I am to have a daughter like you... it's such a humbling extrodinary experience. I could go on and on, but you've woken up now and I can feel that you're very hungry.
|posted on 12-Nov-2001 3:04:29 PM|
|Pandas - Ok I probably wasn't clear on the whole handling of the letters, so here's the thing on the notes to Adreana, each one is like sealed and put into a box that isn't opened until she's 16... so like Liz has no clue what anyone else writes. The rest of them are just thing that Liz has gotten from various people.|
Liz is still in the apartment that she shared with Max... that will all change shortly, and as for the parents, that's all going to be delt with fairly soon.
And as always, thank you for your FB.
Parts 11 and 12.
Wow. You're so beautiful, just like your Mom. It's weird, I always thought that I'd be pregnant before Lizzie, but here you are Adreana Parker, the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. (You do know that once I have my own kids I will have to retract that statement... sorry, bias.) Um... hmm you have HUGE brown eyes and this adorable brown fuzzy baby hair. You know so much like your mom? It's adorable! Sorry if I'm gushing too much, gawd, Aunt Maria. I definately think that has a ring to it, don't you? Oh and here I'm giving you a vile of Ceder oil, you'll never know when you need it. You and your mom are sleeping now... it's really perfect. Liz thinks that you're a scientist in the making... (I suck at all things science related) but I see a creative spirit... shh.. we can't ruin Lizzie's boring idea of a profession JUST YET. Oh well... BLAH... I can't think of anything else right now... must sleep.
Love and Kisses,
Delivering you was an honor... and your mom wasn't too bitchy, maybe she didn't have too much of a hassle with you. Ha Ha.. so not like that asshole of a father, Max. I know Liz doesn't want to impose her opinion of the Maxhole on you, but I'm not Liz and I think that you should know some shit about dear old dad. He is an ASSHOLE, I can't stress it enough, and he's ruined all of our lives, mostly your mom's. Way back in October of 2000, a Max from 14 years in the future came back to Liz using the granolith (this alien thing that we don't have anymore cuz of daddy and his whore) to prevent "the world from ending." Basically he told Liz all this bullshit about how the world ended because of their love yada yada and made Liz make Max fall out of love with her. A REAL man wouldn't do such shit to the girl he supposedly LOVES. So Liz did it, not knowing that future Max just wanted to fuck Tessie (Max's whore) before she betrayed us. Yep, he ruined Liz's life over some bullshit... cuz he couldn't HANDLE a real woman... a real strong woman who will call people on their shit and knows what the fuck she's doing. All he cares about is himself and I will do everything in my power to protect you and your mom from him. You don't deserve to suffer the way that Liz has suffered.
Oh and on a non asshole related note... I can feel this new energy in my head... I think it's you... I hope it's you... it's really faint, but it's there along with this stronger energry that I think is Liz, at least I hope it's her. But I don't want to suggest that just yet, I don't think it's right to dump all this shit on her... she has enough problems already for me to say, "GUESS WHAT LIZ. I think you're my alien sister. I feel some energy in my head that I think is you." But it's probably just me... I mean how could she not know... it's frusterating... hoping for something that has no logical base. I mean the Parker's couldn't have kept something so big from her you know? Ah well... it's a nice fantasy... I should go... Maria and Liz are up now.
All my love,
|posted on 13-Nov-2001 4:54:53 PM|
|This part is all about Liz dealing with the Maxhole... and well she's understandably bitchy. The parents should be addressed soon, and Max will um... read this letter and respond... I have a little after that written and planned out, so I probably can get those parts out quicker. The only problem that I think I still have to resolve is if I should write the Max/Liz interaction in real time (b/c they have to meet up... eventually) or if I continue with these letters. My current feeling is that you definately miss a lot of that when it's in letter form, but it serves a purpose, so I can go either way. So if anyone has an opinion please just tell me cuz I really have no idea which way I should go.|
Thank you all for your feedback
I thought you'd like to know that your daughter, Adreana Katrina, was born today at 3:17 in the afternoon. Yep, that's the same daughter that I wasn't pregnant with. She was delivered by Michael today while Maria held my hand and comforted me as our daughter came into the world, into a life that doesn't include you. How is your son by the way? Your fucking planet? Do they hate you like I hate you? Did they kill you yet? When you die, I'll dance on your grave and if you die on Antar, I'll go there just so I can rejoice over your hopefully slow and painful death. I abhore you. If you come back I'll be ready... it seems like I've got a few tricks up my sleeve... thanks for that by the way. Michael will replace you as my daughter's male role model, since you obviously suck in that department. I know that you'll be back, eventually, but I won't be... I'm moving out later this month and this will be all that's left. This and our empty apartment. I hope you regret what you did... that you lost that last chance of the white picket fence with 2.5 children and me as your wonderful wife. I'm over you. I've been over you since the moment you walked out that door and once I put this pen down, once I leave this dingy old apartment, the last chapter of my life with you is through. MY daughter needs her mother, since her sperm donor was too busy playing king of the mountain to care about all that he had in front of him. Goodbye asshole, don't bother to look for me... unless you have a death wish.
Merry Fucking Christmas.
[ edited 1 time(s), last at 13-Nov-2001 6:16:12 PM ]
|posted on 13-Nov-2001 7:21:54 PM|
|Because I'm immensely bored, here's the next part. Ok and another thing that isn't exactly crystal clear. Max and Liz have had no contact with their parents since they ran away and moved into an apartment together after graduation.|
Ria- Someone needs to go off on Maxy boy, the biggest asshole there ever was.
Mom and Dad-
I've been by a few times... ever since I got back into town, but I haven't been able to muster the courage to meet you face to face. I guess it's my pride and the feeling that I've dissapointed you. I have a daughter now... Adreana Katrina... Anna for short, although Michael (Guerin... remember him?) has taken to calling her Addy. Max left me, yes Adreana's his, before I could tell him... it was awful, so Dad I really don't want to hear a big "I told you so" speech. He doesn't know that I was pregnant, he left before I could tell him. But it's ok, Michael and Maria (Deluca... you know.) have been helping me with Addy (Ok, so Michael's nickname is growing on me too.) and it's been great. Um... I know that you probably don't want to see me now, and well that's ok, but it'd be nice to hear something... anything from either of you. My address is 138 Water St Apartment 42 A Roswell, NM (The phone doesn't work yet... the landlord's working on it.)
Liz and Addy.
I really don't know what to say, but your letter surprised us. I'm glad to har from you, your father isn't speaking about it. He's hurting, I mean you were his whole world and then Max well.. you know. I want to see her, how old is she? What does she look like? Is she ok? Are you ok? God Liz, there are so many things, so many things that I need to tell you... I need to go there, to your apartment. I need to see you. How's the 19th? Please Liz, you don't know how it is for me.
[ edited 1 time(s), last at 13-Nov-2001 7:22:26 PM ]
|posted on 27-Nov-2001 7:36:42 PM|
|I'm just reposting parts 15-22 here... nothing new... just catching this thread up. I will have 2 new ones tomorrow.|
I'm your grandmother Nancy. Liz wanted me to write a letter to you... so here it is. One month huh? You are one beautiful baby, do you realize that? You are so much like my Lizzie... or at least how I imagine she would have looked at your age. I really should tell her... but I just... I just can't. God, she's so much like my own flesh and blood daughter, but she's not. See, Grampa Jeff's mother found a six month old baby in the desert, just left for dead and we took her in and raised her as our own daughter, and that's how we cam across your Mom. But now, here she is, left all alone again, however I believe that if anyone can get through this, it's your mother.
You are one big sleeper though, that's something that your Mother definately isn't, but I'm glad that you like to sleep since I always thought that Lizzie needed to spend less time working and studying and more time relaxing. You do have your mother's eyes, they're wide a rich dark brown (although they have some golden flecks in them that I think came from Max), and you can tell that you're wise beyond your ears. You have her lips, face, ears, nose and hair too... I wouldn't be surprised if you grow up to look just like her. You are a beautiful baby, I'm sure you've heard that a lot lately, but it's the truth.
What I've noticed more than anything as I observe your mother interacting with you is the way that she watches you like you're her whole world. I know that you will always wonder if Liz really wanted you because you'll always be a reminder of your father, but she does... oh she does. She loves you so much honey. Don't ever doubt this love that she has for you, you can see the truth in her eyes, that you are the most important person in her life. You are really lucky to have a mother like that.
Hey Addy (ok, it grew on me too)-
Wow, it's your first Christmas huh? It's so weird, I'm actually up early on Christmas... I got your mom something good, it's this book filled with pictures of the three muskateers (Me, your Mom, and Alex... who was murdered.) The funny thing is, you seem like you'll grow up to look EXACTLY like Liz... although your eyes are beginning to have Max's signature golden flecks in them. They're still wide like Liz's. Well, I don't think that Christmass means too much to you right now, seeing as you're a little over a month old and all, but well, let's see. Your mom is currently dressing your cvute baby butt in an emerald green baby dress and putting a white headband in your hair, cuz the three of us are going to X-mas services, and baby Parker needs to look like the angel she is. I wonder what Michael got me for Christmas... I don't know HOW it could be better than the gorgeous portrait that he made of me last year... but knowing Michael, it will be. He wasn't always this wonderful boyfriend, he had a hard life that made him jaded and stuff, but after a while he softened his outer shell and let people in... he's a big sweetheart. Oh and as for Michael, I've been saving money since my senior year and I submitted his artwork to Las Cruces, he's been offered admission. So both Spaceboy and your mom will be college kids while I will be the designated babysitter and write song lyrics while I continue to take college courses at night.
I think that you thought that Christmas was rather boring... hmm... and it always was my favorite holiday. Well, you're young yet and maybe next year you'll understand the joy of opening presents. Although, Maria definately got the best present this year. Michael proposed. (I KNOW, finally right? Well I'm sure you really don't care... but I've been hinting at it for a while now... I need at least my 'brother' and my best friend to have a wonderful marriage, so that my faith in love isn't completely ruined.) When 'Ria was asked, she had this HUGE look of surprise on her face... I swear she lit up like a Christmas tree, it was WONDERFUL. I'm so happy for both of them, they're so in love and Maria now has a good man who's commited to her and won't leave when the going gets tough. Michael is nothing but loyal, and he gets the family he always wanted. I definately think there's something up with Michael though, it's weird... he acts like he wants to tell me something, but then when I ask, he keeps denying it, and says it's nothing, that it can wait. I know he's lying, but I'm well aware of the fact that I shouldn't pressure him... he'll tell me when he wants, I really am curious though... oh well.
I did it. I proposed and Maria said yes... words can't describe the immense joy that I feel right now... I'm on cloud nine! She was so beautiful when I did it, her face was illuminated by the candle that she held as night fell... she's so gorgeous. How do you feel about cousins? I'm hoping for oh... 10 or so... all of whch have her fiery green eyes, her golden blond hair, adorable pouty lips, her compassion, her daring... oh I love her so much, and she's mine... only mine for eternity, on any planet, in any lifetime, she's MY pixie and noone else's.
Ria here (I'm writting on Michael's letter... so what? We're ENGAGED now... I'm entitled.) Well Michael FINALLY PROPOPSED. (I wonder how long Liz had to bother him into doing it... ah well) He's making an honest woman out of me... and let it be said right now: I LOVE MICHAEL GUERIN, I'm just not having 10 of his love children... *I* don't care for pain.
-The future Maria Guerin.
I am an ass, but you knew that already, in fact, everyone's know that but me... I don't know what to say really... god Liz you should just kill me. I've ruined you, over a son that never existed. I am a food, that had everything and ended up with nothing. I want to see her, I know that I probably don't deserve that right, but I am the father. Liz I need to speak to you about you and our daughter and things that I learned on Antar; it is important. Turns out Tess was never my wife, and the only person I've made love with is you... ONLY you. Liz I know I shouldn't, but as I sit here in this empty apartment all I can think about is holding the two most important women in my life close to me. It's all I want, all I need, bt even that is beyond my reach now... I had it and now it's gone, all because of me... all me. I'm so sorry, so sorry. What did I do, oh what have I done, god everything has sucked for you for a long time darling, a long time. I've been here ruining your life and you took me back. You're that way, I blew it, I blew my perfect life for some fucked up mindwarp, I'm a fool, a dumbass, a moron, I hate myself more than you could ever imagine, maybe even more than you hate me... if that's possible.
I really don't want to know how you got this address. I simply don't give a shit. Don't come here, I don't want my daughter to suffer the way I've suffered- by you. That's right, I had her take my last name, assholes are not something that she needs. GOD! Arn't you happy now? Look at what you've taken away from me so far... can't you see? I'm nothing Max, I used to BE something, but now I'm just an empty shell of me... who I was at least... I can't even remember that far back. Was this your plan? You can't sweet talk me back to that place again, yeah I have to talk to you too... I have papers for you to sign, you know the ones that take away your paternity rights, it's really simple... "I Max Evans... yada yada yada"
Oh and as for Tess and your son, if you'd ever asked my opinion, you wouldn't have even had to go, but you needed to learn on your own, and I learned too, I learned that you and I could never be, that you would never be who I needed you to be: a caring, compasionate and loving man. Thanks for the heads up, it saved me the trouble of marrying you first.
Yep Max, you fucked up, you fucked up big... you did it, only you. You did it to the point where you can't fix it, don't you feel it? Oh I bet it hurts, hurts real bad doesn't it? I hope so, since that pain of yours doesn't BEGIN to compare to what I feel, what I've felt ever since October of 2000. Maybe I'll tell you about it sometime, dipshit... since you have to sign those damn papers.
I hate to tell you what I suspect in a letter, but I don't think that I could tell you face to face. I found Max's letter and that made me decide to write this, cuz I've been avoiding it. Liz, I think you're my sister, I mean like Chezkoslovakian sister (how you and Maria came up with that I'll never understand.) I came to this because well, I feel connected to you inside my head, and have you ever noticed that both your parents have blue eyes? I know I'm not as smart as you, but you can't have a brown eyed kid if the parents have blue eyes, you know brown is dominant and blue is recessive. Then I don't know, I have memories of the other life, ones where I had a little sister that looked, well, like you, and I was extremely proctective of her, and well when I saw you in elementary school, all I wanted to do was make sure you were safe, to be honest, that's still what I want... you to be happy and ok. Um... and then there's the the whole power issue, you can blow things up and so can I, well and you're uh stronger than any of us (me, Max, Isa-whore... I heard through the grape vine that Valenti is going to propose... I bet that love affair will last... 6 months.), and that should mean something. If you, you know, want to go and explore this, then I'll help you, take you out to the pod chamber, memory retrival, anything... maybe I'll even have you try tobasco ice cream... I swear it's yummy (god, I've been spending way too much time with Addy.) But if you don't want to cuz of Max or whatever, that's ok too. Liz, just let me know.
You can't do this... she's my daughter too, but then again who am I to tell you anything. But I'd really like to see her. She's what? almost 5 months old now? I've already missed so much, with you especially, I want ted to be there. I knew the truth, but I couldn't leave. I know this is vague, but these things should be said in person.
Well, you should know the basics. Tess has been mindwarping me non stop since we came back from Vegas all those years ago. That's why I've been such an asshole, I know that doesn't excuse any of my actions, but I thought you'd want to know that it wasn't really me... oh god. It was me, wasn't it? I was weak enough to let her in my head to begin with. I'm so fucked up now, I want to show you what's inside my head, I want to prove things to you, prove that I'm good inside, that I still love you. But I don't deserve that chance, not anymore.
Liz, we at least have to discuss our daughter, I don't think that I've ever told you, but Adreana Katrina is a beautiful name - a perfect fit for a princess, a beautiful fairy princess, like her mom. (Sorry, I can't help but be attached to you... I get flashes of her, of you. I know that you still have really long hair, but your eyes... your eyes are haunted, all because of me. I took your spirit, your soul. I'm an ass, I hate myself for doing this, I'm so fucked up. I only hope that you can one day find it again, you deserve that happiness... and I want to tell you that I can take it away, take the hurt away, but you and I both know that I am incapeable of anything but harm. I also know that our daughter has the carefree spirit that you once had, one that hasn't been tainted. Protect that Liz, protect it.)
I feel you now, crying yourself to sleep, hoping that no one will hear... I hear you Liz, I hear you. It's ok to cry you know... it's ok. I do it too, I do it so much that I can't see anything but wetness, because I've caused you so much pain... so much pain. It probably hurts you more because we are bonded for eternity... but I'm trying to hide my presence from you... I don't want you to hurt anymore. But I can't help but feel guilty, I still love you.
But I guess I sidetracked, yes I would like to meet with you to discuss our daughter, to do what's right for her.
|posted on 18-Dec-2001 11:41:40 PM|
|Ok, I actually FOUND the notebook that this story is in, and I will be showering you all with many updates tomorrow... I'm SO sorry that I haven't updated this in forever, but real life, and the fact that I lost this story has kinda prevented me from posting. But I'm going to definately be updating tomorrow.|
|posted on 19-Dec-2001 12:09:26 AM|
|Because I'm an insomniac and don't know if I'll have time tomorrow... here's 23. Thank you all SO MUCH for being patient... I promise not to pull a long bullshit absence again. -G|
I think you're right, and that scares me. I mean, yes I think we're really siblings and I'm absolutely elated at the prospect of it, but it's really frightening. I mean you've always known you were different but well my abilities surfaced when I was pregnant, which is strange... but I don't know what the explanation is and well yeah, I mean I am subconciously aware of the fact that I'm adopted, but it had to have been way earlier than you... I think the youngest picture of me that my parents have is from when I was like less than a year old. I don't know what that means, but we can figure it out together, you know... make up for lost time and shit. How about we go out to the desert tomorrow? That is, if you're not busy with Maria or work or something. Maria's really good for you... don't you dare hurt her, you hear me? Michael, you are better than Hank, better than Max and you should make sure that you act like the caring man that I know you are around Maria. She gets freaked out sometimes when you're distant... show her that you'll always be there for her, like you did after Alex's death.
But as for not so good men, I got another letter from Max, which says, among other things (most of which I WANT to believe, but am inclined to regard as empty promises) that he wants to meet Addy, to be a part of her life. I mean, I know she's his daughter too, and that its a good idea, for her sake anyway... but I don't want him to hurt her, and I don't really want to get dragged back into a relationship with him. You and I both know that's going to happen because I'm such a weak person. Seriously Michael, everyone thinks I'm so strong, so hard, but I'm not... I hate to dump all this shit on you... but I feel like you'll be honest with me, open-minded... not impulsive like Maria. I need an objective opinion, this isn't about me... it's about Addy, and I don't want to hurt her. You know? What I'm thinking about doing is writing him a really nasty letter just to see if he'll come anyway, to prove that he's committed. I mean on some level I know I'm willing to let him back in (WEAK I tell you WEAK), but he has to prove himself first. What do you think? Be completely honest with me, I can tell if you're bullshitting. I need some perspective, Spacebro.
Your younger (neurotic) sister.
|posted on 19-Dec-2001 12:38:17 AM|
Tomorrow's fine, oh and have I told you lately how much I hate Max, I mean that idiot has fucked with the wrong family. He messed you up so much, I mean he took this smart, sensitive, strong, determined girl, a girl I'm lucky enough to call my sister, and hurt her so badly emotionally, he caused so much shit that any girl less strong would have ended it all, but see Liz, you are strong, you went through it, and you still press on, day after day, as much as it hurts. You're a fighter, and if you want to fight off Max, you can do it... both on paper and to his face.
Max is a dick... he'll hunt you down until he finds you... SO I think that you should let him come... and tell him he's got ONE shot and if he blows it, he's done. He's a fucking idiot so it won't take long for him to do something stupid.
Oh and I keep meaning to ask you about well the other two most important women in my life, Maria and Addy. Well, you know how Addy's been growing wicked fast lately? She's got all her teeth, her uh... body is getting bigger... Maria's convinced that she's going to walk soon... which must be some sort of alien growth thing... I mean she's 6 months old, and she looks like she's almost 2! I know that you know that, maybe this is one of those Maria/Liz topics or one of those Liz keeps it to herself and hopes no one notices topics, but I mean arn't you worried? What's bothering me the most is that most of this growth has occured over the past month. I guess it saves you a fuckload of dirty dipers, but hey I mean... will she like slow down? I'm betting that you know 'cuz the scientist would have been all over this from day 1. Oh, but this works out well, since Addy's going to be walking, will it be ok if Maria and I kinda have her be our flower girl? But Maria, Maria's worried about you... you've closed yourself off again to everyone... well everyone but me, you shouldn't build stonewalls Lizzie, trust me. You did this after Alex's death, after Max left - Liz you need Maria... she opens you up, makes you feel... and you're too wonderful to be cold like that, to bottle up your emotions inside. So talk to her, ok? You guys are best friends, you have a bond that's not about alien bullshit, don't turn away from it, embrace it. Ok lil' Lizzie?
-The cool older brother.
|posted on 19-Dec-2001 3:01:15 PM|
|cglenn No I didn't stop... if anything the recent episodes have made me want to make Max into an even bigger asshole... throw that in with a little inspiration from Buffy and well... Thanks for you fb.|
pandas - Yes, those two scenes will be present time not letters.. lol Oh and as for the baby thing, there's a reason for it (other than wanting her to be more than a crying little thing... there are lots of things to do with little kids, but they need to be able to move on their own first ;) ) it'll be in the whole mi/l granolith thing :DD But thank you for your fb.
|posted on 22-Dec-2001 12:19:17 AM|
|Midnight Magi - I've never read it... I've always intended on it, someday, but still have to get around to it... stupid real life. Ha. Glad you like it.|
I really don't know what to say to you. Are you messing with my mind now because of who your daughter is - the heir to the throne? Or is it because my human-status is in question? Is it because you think you can get me back in the sack with you after a few rounds of sweet words?
Max, don't sweek talk me, it won't work. There is absolutely nothing you can do that will convince me that we should get back together, especially not one of your sick campaigns for my affection... it worked in high school, but I'm a big girl now, I can tell when a man lies. plays me for the fool... you may be my "soul-mate" (I doubt it... but in respect for my Grandmother I will feign a belief in this concept), but that doesn't discount all the times that you've hurt me... how much more can you take from me? Nothing Max, nothing... you have it all, just let me exist, let me wither and die like all the other flowers that have been trampeled upon, don't try to shine your sun upon me again, I've been in it for too long already.
All I ask, should you decide to be there for Adreanna, is that you be there for her, emotionally that is, don't do what you did to me to her... she's beautiful she doesn't deserve this pain. I was beautiful once too... I don't usually think about my life then... it hurts too much. Do you understand the depth of the pain that you've caused me? I doubt that you do... I doubt you ever will but please, don't ever play games with her, don't say that you'll stay and then leave the next day... don't ever leave her like you left me. If you can't do it for me, do it for the girl I once was, everything that you loved, everything that you took... everything that I lost before I knew the value of it, I can't watch her go through what I went through... and the only person that I can imagine harming her to this degree is you Max.
I know how cynical that sounds, but I think I deserve to have little faith in you. But I will give you one chance to prove me wrong, should you even look at her the wrong way it's over, you are cast out of her life. Mistakes are not an option Max, not with her. (Don't doubt my ability to know if you have hurt her... the three of us are connected... and while I hate being connected to you with a passion, it is quite a valuable tool when Adreanna is concerned.)
So should you still be interested in finding your nitch into her life, I propose a meeting at my apartment in a week, so that we can hash everything out and fix it all. If you just want to let it be, I'll send you the papers.
[ edited 1 time(s), last at 22-Dec-2001 1:35:49 AM ]
|posted on 27-Dec-2001 3:41:39 AM|
|Thank you all for your FB, and here it is, the really shitty and long desert/pod scene. I hope that's long enough for you all, I hate it, but hey, it's all good.|
Part 26 (the desert scene.)
The desert loomed forward as the sun shown down overhead, it was only eight in the morning, but it could have easily passed for noon. Liz sat quietly in the passenger seat while Michael sped down the barren highway with Metallica blaring in the stereo.
“God Michael, this sucks… you drove, I get the radio.” Liz smiled mischievously at her brother, glad that she finally discovered something that would anger him.
“WHAT? Don’t make me have to disown you. Metallica is the quintessential…”
“…group of past their prime drunk white trash? Yeah, I know.” Liz’s grin widened as she ejected the horrendous excuse for a cd and inserted another. Immediately the song began to play.
Excuse me but can I be you for a while
My dog won’t bite if you sit real still
I’ve got the anti-christ in the kitchen yelling at me again
Yeah I can here you
“What kind of crap is this?”
“CRAP? Hardly. It’s vintage Tori! You know, “Silent All These Years” from Little Earthquakes? Michael, I’m ashamed to call you family… I can’t believe that you don’t know Tori Amos, especially THIS Tori song. I’ll lend you my collection… maybe it’ll enlighten you.”
“Yeah, yeah, I don’t really care… hey you know what… SHE was in a metal band too.”
“Yeah, before she was enlightened… MICHAEL! Move your hand AWAY from the radio, or I will.” Liz’s fiery eyes met his, challenging his motives.
Michael quickly glanced back at the road and away from her stare, realizing that he wasn’t going to win… he’d heard about crazy Tori-philes and messing with one, especially one with alien powers, was never a good idea. “Yeah, I guess she’s ok…” he began, racking his brain for some sort of compliment, but was saved when he saw the familiar landscape of the pod chamber. “We’re here, you ok?”
“Yeah. Let’s go.” Liz responded coolly, desperately attempting to hide the mounting fear that was coursing through her. What if she learned things, things that ruined any sort of relationship with Michael? What if she learned something about Addy? Liz let out a sigh and marched down the rocky path to the infamous pod-chamber, Michael followed behind confused by her change in behavior.
“Liz, will you slow the fuck down?”
“Michael, quit complaining… I have bad memories; I just want to get this over with.”
“…but you don’t have to do this.”
Liz, having reached the entrance to the chamber, turned around to face Michael, her anger was being reflected in her eyes. “Yes, yes I do. I need answers Michael, not my own assumptions. Yeah, it may not be fun, yeah I may not like the answers I’m given, but it isn’t about what I want. I have to know what having Max’s daughter REALLY means.”
Michael, annoyed by Liz’s selflessness, snapped “Liz, WHEN is it about you?”
“Michael…” she began her face softening as she looked at his face. “It was about me in the car.” She whispered, tears forming in her eyes. “I can’t think about me… it hurts too much. God Michael, what would I do without you? What would I DO? You…you’re always there for me… it must suck to deal with my shit…”
“No… no Liz.” Michael whispered while wiping the tears from her eyes. “You’re the best sister that a guy could ever want… strange taste in music and all. It’s ok, you can let it out.”
“Michael, I can’t let it out, because if I let it out, I’ll never stop and then shit. I’m so pathetic.”
“Liz, you’re not pathetic. C’mon you ready? Why don’t you do the honors?” Michael asked, sensing Liz’s discomfort.
“Uh… yeah.” Liz pressed her hand up against the stone and the door opened slowly, causing her eyes to widen with surprise. “No way…”
“Liz, why are you so surprised?”
“I tried to open it once, right after Tess left and it wouldn’t move. I don’t know why, maybe it was because Max and I hadn’t… err I was still a virgin.” She shrugged and walked inside.
“So where to first?” Michael asked as he followed her inside. This was about her today, and although he had his own questions, Liz’s took precedent.
“Well I guess…” Liz paused as she felt a warm breeze rush through her skin. “Michael, did you feel that?”
“Feel what?” Michael replied, his back facing hers while he inspected the pods, looking for anything that could possibly help Liz.
“Nothing, never mind.” Liz smiled at his concern and began to look over the wall. She ran her hand over it, searching for the source of the warmth, but to no avail. She then retraced an area that had drawn her attention upon first inspection, subconsciously paying her hand upon a rock that had seemed to be darker than the others. A tingling sensation raced through her, intensifying as it spread across her petite frame.
Michael glided his hand across the tip of one of the pods and found himself touching a cool metal oval. He grabbed at it, pealing it from the sticky wall and was surprised to find that it was another orb, with a different symbol on it. “Liz! Look at this.” He stated, turning to show her his discovery. But what he saw instead shocked him to the core. Liz’s entire body emitted a silver glow and crackled with electricity. Her eyes were a deep liquid brown, devoid of any pupil. Michael watched her for a few moments in awe opening and closing his mouth repeatedly before sound returned. “WHAT THE FUCK?”
Liz, distracted by the sudden noise, turned away from the wall and looked at her brother dumbfounded. “Yeah?”
“You… you…” He stuttered and pointed at the wall.
“Michael?” Liz asked and quickly looked back at where he was pointing. “Oh my god…” She whispered, surprised to see a new opening which housed another orb. She reached for it and then showed it to Michael. “Look!”
“Uh yeah…” He lifted up the hand which housed the orb and showed it to Liz. “I have one too.”
Liz grabbed at it, placing it in her other hand. “Michael, they have the same mark, so I think that they just need to be put together…”
“Liz are you sure?”
“Yeah… but it needs something else, like it won’t work if you just rub them together.” Liz stated, pacing around while her mind reeled with possibilities.
“Liz, come on this really isn’t a good idea, I mean you were GLOWING when you touched that wall… it was freaky.”
“Ok… so I need something big… like the granolith. Michael, I know what I’m doing… WAIT I WAS GLOWING?”
“God you’re starting to act like Maria. Yes, you were glowing when you touched the wall.”
“Really? Ok… the wall… hmm I guess I don’t need the granolith after all.” Liz grinned and placed the two orbs into the hole she made in the wall. Instantly a light shot out from it.
“What the hell? It looks like…” Michael began as it took the form of a woman. “THAT THING of Max and Isabel’s mom but this one has brown hair.”
“Miiichael shut UP!” Liz whined and waved her hand over the wall again, indicating for it to start talking.
“Liz, what the hell?” Michael asked quickly before he was silenced by Liz’s glare.
The image began talking. “My dearest daughter, I know that you have many questions about your existence here, but I only have a limited amount of time to tell you so many things. Well, I suppose that you are curious about your latent powers, it was never intended for you to develop differently from the others, but there were enemies of our family and the monarchy, who took you from your incubation chamber before your abilities could develop. However, I do know that you are alive and well… I can feel you, even now in this life, I am eternally grateful for this bond between mother and child, as I know you will come to be. Ah yes, but your powers, they have become active now that you are with child, which I assume has happened since I now stand before you telling you this. Is it a boy or a girl? I have always thought that your first would be a girl, Rhea. I know that is not your name in this life, however I cannot imagine you with any other name. My beautiful daughter, you cannot imagine how I miss you. I’m not being much help am I? Well, your child must be around Zan, he is the father isn’t he, as much as possible, otherwise the child will age much too quickly. It is part of the Antarian biology… all four of you will have pure Antarian brethren, for that is the dominant gene. Actually, after each of you engage in intercourse, you will become full Antarian, not hybrids, as will your life mate, even if the mate is from Earth.
“I suppose that you also wonder about your past. On Antar you were Crowned Princess Rheana, wife of Zan, and future Queen, I suppose you are Queen now, for you were murdered at your coronation. That was a sad day for all of us, for every one of your subjects loved you… some more than others. Oh my dear girl, I pray that Kivar has not found you. He was a depraved man, who wanted the crown and you so badly, he killed to get it, and still he does not maintain true control for he does not have your affection. I believe that may be a little vague, so I will attempt to explain it a little better. On Antar, power is held by the woman who bares the mark. She is designated at birth by the granolith to one of the holy… err aristocratic families. Once designated, the child must be raised by the holy women until she reaches the age of maturation, which is when the child begins to menstruate. Then the child is educated by the current Queen on all the finer aspects of diplomacy. It was there that you met Zan, he was always on your mind as a little girl. Although both the Queen and I knew that Zan would be your bond mate, we had to pretend that you were available and because of that you had many suitors, but Rath would scare them all away, except for Kivar. He was a vile one my dear, and convinced that you loved him. So, he was less than pleased when you and Zan bonded. So he killed you, Zan, Villondra and Rath upon the eve of your coronation. I pray that this life has been better to you.
“Please tell Rath that I love him and that he has a wonderful heart. Also, can you ask him to open up to more people than to just you, it’s not healthy for him to be so closed off. I also hope that he finds love in this life, he and Villondra were never a good match, I realize this now. The Queen and I mistook their bickering for sexual tension… but I hope that both of them find someone who inflames their heart.
“Well, I guess that it is time for me to go now little one, please remember that I love you and hope to see you soon. Be strong and I’m sure that you can combat anything.
“The Queen also wants me to add that Zan needs you, he is only half of a man without you and he has a tendency to be a little neurotic without your calming presence. Goodbye my little princess, all of the other answers that you seek can be found in the granolith. I love you and your brother, please don’t ever forget that.” The image stated as it faded to nothing.
The two of them were quiet for a long time and then Michael burst into tears. Liz moved closer to him and urged him to sit on the ground with her. She softly put her arms around him and consoled him while he cried. Although she had her own problems to deal with, it was more important for her to be there for him right now. “Michael, it is ok… what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong Liz. I have a mother and she loves me. I used to fantasize about what she’d look like, you know? When Hank would beat me over and over with that leather belt, I’d imagine that my mother would come and hold me, that she’d make it all go away and here she is, but it’s not really her. Why did she leave? She gave you this after you were taken out of here so why did she leave? God Liz… she… we… WHY?”
“Michael, maybe, maybe oh god” Liz whispered as she began to cry. “Maybe they took her… oh god Michael oh god oh god.”
Michael pulled his arms out from under Liz’s and wrapped them back around her trembling frame. “Liz, it’s ok… we have each other. Nothing is going to change that. C’mon Liz, it’s going to be ok, do you wanna go home now? Or do you want to look around some more?”
“Ugh… what else is there to find? Max has to be an intrigal part of my life so the baby doesn’t die, thus Max and I will need to get back together, I am the Princess and future Queen of an entire planet when I can’t even keep myself sane, I have the power, not Max, I complete Max, OH and just when it couldn’t get any worse, there’s a deranged psycho after me who ISN’T MAX. I hate my life Michael, I hate it.”
“Hey, at least your mom never thought you wanted Isaho.”
“Ha Ha very funny Michael, did you think of that one all by yourself?”
“No, Maria helped.”
“I see. I can’t wait to hear what Maria will say when you tell her that she’s space GIRL.”
“You’re the one who did it.”
“You’re her best friend.”
“You’re the potential father of her children.”
“You’re the potential maid of honor.”
“I’m supplying the flower girl.”
“Make sure I’m not there when you do it… it’s the least you could do Michael.”
“Ha Ha, you know I’m going to make sure you’re there just to spite you.”
“You wouldn’t. Oh fuck you would.”
“Um yeah, Maria’s probably going crazy with Addy.”
“Nah, she loves her.”
“Well I know, but I think she’s reaching the terrible twos today… FUCK I really hate that aspect of Antarian biology.”
“Do you think I do? I can’t escape when Maria flips out.”
“MICHAEL. You wouldn’t.”
“Yeah, you’re right… Shall we?”
“Yeah. But we’re listening to Tori.”
|posted on 27-Dec-2001 12:52:10 PM|
Today was interesting, to say the least. Michael and I went off to the pod chamber and learned a few things about our past and something about you as well. Turns out that your rapid growth is due to Max not being around and well that means that he has to be around so you don't end up to be older than I am. You're so big already, I swear you look like your almost two. You started walking two days ago and your first word was "mama." I bet you'll be talking our ears off by the time that your father comes around. I think Michael will still beat him senseless, but hey he may get off easy. Yeah RIGHT. Sorry, it's just that he always gets what he wants, you know? You probably don't, but it's ok my dearest.
Well, in happier news, you're a princess, for real, Michael is really your uncle, and you have another grandmother who loves you very much. Arn't you a lucky girl? Maria's trying to teach you Spanish just to weird Max out... I love Maria, she and Michael keep me sane. Maria and I are going shopping at the mall tomorrow for some long overdue girl-talk. We're definately hitting the baby gap for you, and then getting some other stuff. Good luck with Michael, and don't you make him go crazy. He IS family you know. Well at least you don't have your powers yet... that is going to be interesting.
|posted on 27-Dec-2001 11:57:34 PM|
|BLAH. I'm bumping.|
|posted on 6-Jan-2002 1:47:06 AM|
|Wow. Thanks for the FB :D I've had this written for a while, but I'm lazy as hell and uh... very disorganized. Sooooo... anyway.|
Gwen - the baby will just start growing normally... lmao it's not the incredible shrinking baby. (sorry I'm being crazy don't mind me)
Pandas - The Tess shit will be explained when Max comes to town... that I think will be a massive part at this point. Maybe it'll be parts... hmm...
But as for the mom-o-gram part 2, it was supposed to be activated when Liz got her powers, which was when she got pregnant... so it's not a link to her mom now. I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing with their mom yet... lol I'm debating.
Glad you thought that it didn't suck.
Well, your mom and I had some LONG OVERDUE girl time today and guess what... she finaly opened up and told me about everything that I was bitching about her not telling me yesterday... ha ha like you will remember... all you had to say was "mama." I will teach you spanish, just to piss everyone off. I think I will make you say "Ria." That will have to be your second word... yep... cuz I am so wonderful HA. Sometimes, it's hard for me to remember that we're all 20, especially Lizzie. She's gone through so much shit, we all have, but I mean you're six months old (logically) but you're TWO and you'll keep growing and growing until a certain sperm donor comes back into your life. That sucks. Michael had all these death-to-Max fantacies, but well... blah (hopefully the beat-Max-to-shit fantacies still stand.) Liz is really weirded out by it... I mean everything is different now. She's the big woman and Max, well, he's nothing. HA! That part was funny... but not nearly as funny as the reactions I got from Michael and Liz when I DIDN'T FREAK when they told me about my alien status. Mwahahaha. I know its like the one time ever in my life when I'm perfectly ok with something weird. But enough about me... back to your mom. Uh, well she's kinda scared... ok a lotta scared... about your really fast growth and how you only say "mama"... I think it's cuz this whole rapid growth thing fucked with your head and that neither Liz or the Maxhole are big talkers... did I mention how much he sucks? That bastard has fucked with Liz's mind all over the place since junior year of HIGHSCHOOL when she faked sex with Kyle so that she could SAVE THE WORLD. This bullshit that IT gave culminated in his departure from earth the night that she was going to tell him about being pregnant with you and when Liz left him a note about it, he told her that she was lying and LEFT ANYWAY. Hell-o? Can we say RAT BASTARD? You just don't DO that. Now he finds out that Tess (evil she beast who killed Alex, my other best bud) was mindwarping him the whole time (how much do you wanna bet that he uses that to get Liz back? HMM... oh wait... you don't have money... bah) and made the whole sex/baby up. So his whole trip to save his son was shit... and all the while LIZ, his "SOUL-MATE" (at one time anyway), is pregnant with his BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL, crying and upset as hell, her parents abandoned her (well, her dad anyway... her mom made an effort... but Liz kinda doesn't want to hang with her since she found out she was adopted. Not telling your daughter is kinda low.) god it was awful. Plus I am a social retard and suck at saying the right thing... I tried but... ugh. Thank god for Michael, really. I'm so glad that they're brother and sister... they have eachother you know? Michael, well, he didn't have a good childhood and Liz has never exactly gotten along well with her parents, even when she was "dream daughter" as she put it. (She thinks that it's some weird sort of inherent hatred because her brother wasn't with her... she did always say that she felt empty when we were little... like someone/something was missing... I suppose that I can buy this excuse.) So yeah. Anyway, your mom is a FUCKING SANT, the most selfless person EVER so don't you be a bitch to her... or I will kick your ass (Much like I am going to kick Max's ass...) Be nice to her, she loves you. I don't care if you hate Max though, I hate him, Michael hates him, Liz says that she doesn't hate him... I think she does, but she won't let herself hate him... for her own sanity... and your life. Mmmkay? (Also, if in some way everything is right in the world and Max and Liz are married... uh... DON'T TELL LIZ I WROTE THIS... she will Kick my ass. But I thought you needed to know the whole truth babe.)
|posted on 23-Jan-2002 10:06:34 AM|
Well, today is the big day and I don't know what's going to happen... I don't know maybe some how all of this will be ok (yeah, right) I finally convinced Michael and Maria to leave once Max gets here... well it'd be nice if Michael punches him once first, to uh... get it out of his system. I hope that Max is somewhat understanding and knows the reasons that have made it so that I can't get back together with him... it'd be nice if he's sorry and not some caveman who thinks that I'm his property (he has... HAD. God. Posessive tendancies towards me...) Wait, maybe it'd be better if he wasn't sorry, you know? That way I can keep on hating him and not be so damn confused about my feelings towards him... because I guess I blame myself on some level and then there's the whole mindwarping deal and ugh... why can't this be some normal thing, why does it have to be so wrapped up in alien powers and past lives and political power of some distant planet that I seriously could care less about... I hate this. I hate all of this mess that I'm in, we're in... I hate him almost as much as I hate myself. I'm so weak, I mean yeah, I may have some more weight now because of the whole past life bullshit, so he technically has to follow my orders, but still... I'll shatter into a million pieces the moment he walks in the door, looking at him with wide expectant eyes while he takes out this emotional bat and beats me with it again and again and again. But still, a part of me will always love him, and I don't understand WHY.
Love and hate, they're not really opposites are they... it would be so much simpler if they were, but they're not. I think it's apathy that's the opposite of love and hate, which are 2 sides of the same coin. That's my problem... I need to be more apathetic towards him and it won't bother me so much... but I doubt I'll ever be indifferent towards Max Evans and that's why I let him contort me into millions of different positions just so he can get excited over my pain.
This is cynical as hell and I'm not sure if you'll ever see this... I don't know if this distorts your views of your father too much and I want you to make your own decisions. Maybe he has changed and then this letter will just get you so damn upset and then I don't know... I don't really know anything anymore... back before all of this, everyone thought I had all the answers... Liz Parker, Harvard scholar... yep... I was straight on my way to study Molecular Biology and here I am a 20 year old high school graduate with a lovely daughter who waits for her asshole of a something who was her mate in a former life and the father of her child to come back and make everything ok, even though he sucks and stuff.
Just promise me that you'll be better than this, that you won't surrender your dreams for anything, especially men.
|posted on 23-Jan-2002 10:07:22 AM|
|I will try to have 31 up tonight, and if not tonight I'll put it up early tomorrow. ;) - G|
Liz let out a sigh as she fell down on the couch exausted, despite just getting up. It was 9:30 now, Max was due at 10 and Michael and Maria were currently bickering over Maria's cooking while Addy silently ate her Cheerios one by one. It was one of the few foods that she ate without tobasco, it seemed as though Maria and Liz were the only ones who didn't care much for the hot stuff, which was why Michael and Maria were currently arguing.
"Ow! God Maria! That hurt!" Michael bellowed from the kitchen.
"Take it back! Take your comment about my cooking being worse than Mrs Evans' back or you'll be without Mr. Happy tonight. I mean it's not like you have used it lately anyway! SERIOUSLY I SWEAR..."
Liz took this oppertunity to join the others in the kitchen and break up the fighting before she and h er daughter became privy to the most intimate details of Michael's and Maria's relationship. "Whoa! There will be no more discussion of any Lorena Bobbit-like activities, espcially when they are aimed towards my brother. Oh and Maria, stop lying. You two were what woke me UP this morning." Liz burst out laughing at Maria's red face.
"Fine, fine. But Max is free-reign right?" Maria's green eyes gleamed wickedly as images of Max's penis and an axe danced in her head.
"Yeah, whatever. I need him alive though." Liz grinned and turned to her daughter, who was substantially older than yesterday, thus reminding her of exactly why she was going through with this. "Honey, why don't we get dressed, ok?"
Addy looked away from her bowl of Cheerios and stared blankly into Liz's dark chocolate eyes and smiled passively, silently taking Liz's hand in hers. As much as Liz was disturbed by her daughter's lack of vocabulary, she was well-aware of her intelligence and knew that she would speak when ready, but even still Liz wished that she'd say something more than "mama" or "Ria", which Addy had finally mastered late last night, while Maria was strumming Alex's guitar, putting together a new song for a demo that she was working on. "Maybe today... Maybe..." she mumbled softly.
Liz gazed sadly at her daughter's small frame, wishing that her life wasn't complicated by turgid love affairs and past lives that came back again and again. Suddenly, she was inspired to try something. "Honey, are you ok?" Liz asked, hoping that if she pressed hard enough her daughter would do more than nod. Sighing as Addy's head shook feverishly, she decided to try one more time. "It's ok honey. I know that you understand me... you know that you can talk to me... you don't have to be afraid."
Addy began to nod but stopped herself suddenly, her brows furrowed in concentration and what seemed like an eternity passed when she said "I can do what Ria does."
Elated upon hearing her daughter's voice, Liz's face burst out into a genuine grin, one of the first to cross her face in 4 years. "Really? Want to show me?" She asked, confused as to what her daughter was talking about.
"Um... I need dumb space boy."
Liz giggled and ran a hand through her daughter's hair. "Dumb spaceboy? What has Maria been telling you? His name is Michael honey... but why do you need him?"
"Cuz it gives him a boo boo." She said cautiously, afraid to make eye contact with her mother.
"Do you want to give Michael a boo boo?" Liz asked and smiled when she shook her head. "Good. Now let's go and gets you dressed." Adreanna nodded and the familiar silence settled back over the two of them.
Just as Liz had finished dressing her daughter in a lilac sundress and combed her hair back under a head band of the same hue, when the doorbell rang. Liz looked down at her pajama pants and scrubby t-shirt disgusted. "MICHAEL CAN YOU GET THAT? I need to get dressed."
"Why do you care what you look like? And Didn't you say..." Michael began annoyed.
"Forget what I said, today's your lucky day! Just save enough of the beating for Maria and don't kill him. Ok? Thanks bro."
"The things I do for you." He grumbled.
"Maria! Can you help me?" Liz shouted as she crossed the hallway to her room while her daughter followed confused.
"Yeah, yeah... Dr. Deluca to the rescue." Maria replied as she walked down the hallway. "Michael, don't forget what Liz said." She called before she entered Liz's room.
"Whatever." He muttered as there was another knock at the door. "Damnit Maxwell. You can open the god damn door yourself." He bellowed and opened the door to see Max pale and thin with hollow eyes cast toward the ground.
"Michael..." he began slowly, but was halted when Michael hit him square in the jaw, knocking him to the ground.
"That was for me." He then kicked him in the chest. "This is for Addy." Michael's foot then swiftly decended into Max's groin, elicting a smile from him when Max groaned in pain. "and THAT was for Liz. Don't you EVER hurt my sister again. Do you understand me?" A high pitched groan eminated from Max in consent, while he remained in a fetal position. "Get up you pussy. I'm not done with you. Get the fuck up you prick."
Maria had re-entered the room while Michael was kicking Max in the balls and applauded. "Michael, you have such a way with words but I wanna have some fun too." She smiled maliciously and turned to Max. "Maaaaaaaaaax I've got a present for you." She taunted as she kicked him in the groin again and then kicked him in the face, causing his nose to bleed. "DON'T YOU EVER FUCK WITH LIZ AGAIN!" She shouted and sent a small electrical bolt at him, which made Max scream in pain. "Does it hurt Max? Does it hurt bad? That doesn't BEGIN to compare to the hell you've put Liz through but you don't care do you? You don't CARE that Liz cries herself to sleep, that she walks around hating herself, that she thinks she's worthless, that she regrets being saved from that bullet, that she wishes that she had an abortion just so that her daughter doesn't have to live a LIFE with you in it? YOU DID THIS TO HER MAX. You took away that happy care-free girl who would have done anything for you... anything Max. YOU KILLED HER! She's just not dead yet! Does that make you happy Max? Does it? We should have left you in that damn white room... you're worse than Pierce, you hear me? I FUCKING HATE YOU. You've been nothing but an asshole and you've ruined everyon'e life. You should be dead. You hear me? DEAD."
Max just lied there in a fetal position, bloody and bruised while the impact of Maria's words hit him and rang in his head over and over again. He let out a primal scream and began to sob uncontrollably. "You're right... you're right... maybe I should just..."
"OH NO. YOU ARN'T FUCKING UP YOUR DAUGHTER'S LIFE TOO. THAT'S THE REASON WHY YOU'RE HERE AND YOU KNOW IT." Maria screamed and kicked him again. "You shouldn't be crying asshole. You made her like this. You won. Congradulations."
"Maria... I'm... I'm sorry."
"Bullshit." She snapped.
"You shouldn't be telling her that." Michael said cooly. "Her life wasn't the one that you ruined asshole." Michael was not going to let Maria have the last word, it was his sister, he had to defend her. "Maria. Let's go." He commanded and led her out of the apartment.
[ edited 1 time(s), last at 23-Jan-2002 10:09:08 AM ]
|posted on 25-Jan-2002 12:01:44 AM|
|Yes, Max's ass kicking was waaaaay overdue, and I don't know how everyone's going to feel about this part, just don't throw anything TOO hard. (Just think... originally I had Max and Liz doing a number ala Buffy/Spike on the wall. (further reasoning/ideas are at the botom) ) The problem with them is that a part of her probably still loves him and I think that's why she's still so mad... I don't know. But thanks for the FB ;)|
Oh and this is for Gwen: Gwen, who is suddenly written into the story grabs Max's balls and squeezes them hard then kicks his pansy ass across the room while he cries over and over and over again. MWAHAHAHA
Liz, who had been entertaining her daughter in her bedroom after she’d, finished dressing in a pair of jeans and a light brown shirt that brought out her eyes, sighed as she heard the door slam shut. She looked in the mirror one last time and whispered "it's now or never." She looked over at her daughter, calmly seated on the foot of the bed and forced a smile onto her face. "C'mon let's go."
"Wh... Where?" She asked timidly, unsure if she had chosen the right word, but was well aware of the apprehension that Liz had despite her smiling face.
"To... to meet someone." She replied hesitantly. "We're keeping him waiting you ok?" She asked, hoping that her daughter wasn't feeling the electric current of the connection running through her like she was. Her daughter simply nodded and took Liz's hand. She led Addy into the bathroom and bent down to meet her eyes. "I'm going to have you stay in here for a few minutes so I can talk to our guest before I get you. You know adult stuff." Liz ran a hand through her daughter's hair as she nodded in agreement. "Ok. I'll be back before you know it." She whispered and kissed her gently before she left the room to lay it all out on the table with Max.
Max had been crawling on the floor, unable to get up when he heard footsteps. "SHIT!" He cried and tried to stand, but ended up back on the floor.
Liz caught sight of Max struggling on the floor and burst out laughing. "Looks like you're exactly where you should be... with the scum on the floor."
"Liz... can you help me up?"
"Why should I do that?"
"You shouldn't... but Maria and Michael already and..."
"You could heal yourself dumbass." Liz shot coolly before he could finish.
"I won't. I deserve every damn bruise that I get out of this... and more." Max said with determination as he struggled to get up once again.
"I know you do." She snapped and bent down to help him up. "I shouldn't do this, but I can't talk to you from down there... I might start to pity you." She explained after he was seated on the couch. Liz sat herself on the opposite end and grew angry at Max's disappointed face. "You go first. Don't you bother with any 'I love you' bullshit because I'm not taking you back. Not now. Not ever."
"I know." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, unhappy that he had to tell her, what he considered the worst news of her life. "Well, I suppose you know all about Michael being your brother and you being the one with the power and the whole rapid-growing daughter, right?" His lips curled up slightly as Liz nodded. "Well, things you may not know are that Kivar is well... taken care of, your parents are still alive and currently seated upon the throne, but they're sick and extremely old. And Liz..." He sighed and paused, wishing that he didn't have to hurt her even more. "When they die... you uh... have to retake the throne..."
"Wait. Max, what do you mean have to?" Liz asked, frightened. "I have a life. Here. On Earth."
He groaned and rushed the final part. "You will be transported there when they die because you're the only one bonded to the granolith, and the only legitimate heir to the throne."
"WHAT? Max. That's insane. I mean I'm 20 fucking years old and I have a life her and I don't know a damn thing about ruling a fucking planet and I don't WANT to... holy shit... Max..." She paused as she took in his grim expression and his face, which had grown ten shades whiter since she started ranting. "That's not it is it? Fuck there's more isn't there? Damnit Max! Damnit all. Fucking bastards. Just tell me."
"Uh... well... we're married." He said which received a glare from Liz.
"Fuck you." She replied and hit him in the face. "Explain. Now."
"They never undid the bond that Rheana and Zannor had when they were recreated into us and that's why we always felt each other and there marriage is irrevocable, even in death."
"This gets better and better Max. I mean GOD. You get every damn thing that you want and what do I get, a one way ticked away from a life that I KNOW. I mean I may not love it all the time, but I KNOW it and I LIKE THAT. What next Max? What other way is my life going to be ruined? I thought I had the power, nope guess not. Fuck this. Fuck you." She whispered harshly so that her daughter didn't hear.
"Don't you Liz me asshole. Damnit why did you let me live? Max, why? Did you want to kill me yourself? Congratulations Max! I'm dead. You've won. WHY? There has to be a way to stop this shit. Max, I can't do this. You do it... bond your damn self to the fucking thing. I'll sign over every damn thing that I have to you just let me have my life."
"Liz... I can't." He sighed, upset that she was taking it even worse than he expected. "I wish I had something that could stop all of this, but I can't. But don't say that about wishing that you had died that day. I regret everything that I've done but saving you Liz. Well, that and loving you. But I have no right to love you anymore; I fucked that one up beyond repair." He sighed and fought the urge to hold her and convince her that he meant every word.
"Yeah, you did. But that isn't everything is it? Max, I can see it in your eyes." Liz sighed and tried to brace herself for the other ways that her life could be ruined.
"It's well... complicated."
"Like the rest of this WASN'T. Just tell me."
"Ok. You know how I told you that Tess and I never... yeah... no, it's true nothing like that. But anyway, when I got to Antar, I was crazy; well I was crazy before then, but still... I kept asking for my son, which as we now know, never existed. These people kept telling me that there was no son, but I didn't listen and then one day this young female doctor; they were healing me because Tess did a number on my head... "
"Max. Save the sob stories." Liz snapped.
Max ran a hand through his head, upset that she had grown that cold, but he understood. "Ok. So the doctor tells me that they have a little boy that they were instructed to destroy because the queen was with child so, convinced that it was my son, I went after her and uh... they made this test tube baby a few years back with your egg and my sperm... I guess they saved some from when they made us... because of our non relationship and after you got pregnant, there was no need for him... so they wanted to kill him. Just like that... and I couldn't let that happen... so we have a son too. I'm sorry Liz, but I couldn't... I couldn't..."
Liz let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding and reluctantly put an arm around him to stop his tears. "Hey, it's ok Max. Do you think I'd do anything different? Out of all the other shit you've told me... this is definitely the best news... I mean yeah, it's unexpected, but I mean it's better than having my whole life planned out for me and a hell of a lot better than being married to you. So what's his name? Is he here? How old is he?"
"He didn't have a name so..."
"God. They didn't name him? What the hell is that Max? Why do I have to go back there again?"
"I don't know. Most of the people were really cold and lived by this strict set of laws. I guess it was something that Kivar did, but I'm not sure. They didn't let me know much about anything. Anyway, I named him Alexander, after Alex and I think he's 5... he's waiting with a sitter a couple rooms down... I can go and get him, if you want." Max smiled at the warmth of her touch and although he knew she would have done the same thing, it was nice to hear her say it to him.
"No. Not yet. I still need to talk to you." Liz sighed and furrowed her brow as she reached into her pocked for a list that she'd made earlier.
Max grinned while she retrieved a piece of paper. "Some things never change."
"Shut up." Liz snapped and turned to her list. "Well, forget numbers 1 and 2 because of all the shit you just laid down on me, so number 3 is that the only time that we will have intercourse is in your wet dreams, which I will know NOTHING about. Number four is that we will be nothing more than friends. Number five you will not walk out on us - ever. Number six you will not hurt me or my daughter... and my son ever again, number seven don't you doubt me ever. I have been right all the fucking time and you have always been wrong. Number eight our daughter comes first... well our children do, no matter what you will be at every school function and you will always be proud, even if they can't act or draw worth a shit. Number nine you will never be rude to me. Number ten is that you may be the father of my children, but that doesn't mean that we are together... bonded or not and number eleven is that you will not lay a hand to me, however I am entitled to hit you whenever I think that you deserve it." Liz finished and looked directly into his amber colored eyes. "Don't you provoke me either ok? I may not be able to kill you, but I can make your life a living hell."
"It already is." He said softly, but loud enough for her to hear.
She glared at him and crossed her arms. "THAT is what I'm talking about."
Ok, so no death threats... but I was going to have them fuck each other's brains out and have Liz get pregnant again, but I figured that would have been too awkward and I mean Addy was in the bathroom! That would have been totally wrong... I still like the idea tho... hmmmmmmmmmm
Then there was an idea where Max came to the door with Alex and Michael kicked his ass w/o knowing that Alex was M/L's but then I figured that Michael is currently more mature than that... but he's still protective and pissed as hell at Max. I think he's confused about his feelings toward the Max/Liz sort of thing now too... because she's family and he was like his adopted family... hmm I think Michael is always interesting to write btw.
|posted on 25-Jan-2002 6:46:23 PM|
|Ok... I just found some weird things thaT I don't think were explained well... some of it was intentional and some of it wasn't... hence the writing of this note.|
Ok so on the subject of Liz/beam me up scotty and the crap that Max has told her so far...- Liz doesn't know anything about it except for what Max told her and Max doesn't know a lot of what's going on because while he *is* Zan's reincarnation and stuff... Liz and Max wern't getting along and the ambiguous they (which will be explained in subsequent chapters) didn't consider Max to be well.. intimate with Liz (because their spies wern't all that up on the Max/Liz relationship as they should have been... another thing that will be explained as we go along.) something that changes at the end of his stay when they find out that Liz is preggers... so they order Alex to be destroyed (another semi-vague thing that will be explained as the whole Max/Liz/Kids deal evolves...) So anyway... Max is only informed of some of the basics... actually the whole deal is really more complex than even he realizes, b/c he DOES understand that he isn't getting the big picture... and as a result, Liz won't get the big picture for a while, cuz what she knows is from Max. But anyway, the literal beam me up scotty deal IS VAGUE on purpose... but as it stands right now, Liz is the only person who *HAS* to go... that's how it should be taken at this point. Mmkay?
Oh and Liz is the heir because she was designated by the granolith way back when in the past, not Mikey G. I like a girl in charge... so kill me.
|posted on 29-Jan-2002 1:00:34 AM|
|LOL thanks for the FB guys. I wasn't planning on posting this tonight, but RAMS is down and I'm sick of getting banned on FF (they really are quite boring after the 3rd or 4th consecutive ban...) But anyway, Roswell got canned so in light of this wonderful (to me anyway) news, here's Part 32.|
There was a long pause while both of them thought of something to say. Max scratched his head and asked "So, where's Adreanna?"
"She's hiding in the bathroom. She doesn't speak much and we think that she's anywhere from two and a half or three now. Max, it's heartbreaking to have to watch her grow like this... she's missed so much."
"I know. Alex was two-ish when I found him and he's been growing so fast ever since. He doesn't talk much either. I don't understand it." Max sighed heavily and held Liz close, hoping that she'd show some emotion and not close him off completely. But she was acting machine-like, functioning without any sentiment just so that she could get through the day. Max had done this to her, despite the mind warp he'd been under and all the damage that Tess and Kivar had done to him, it had been him saying those things. Liz was so full of life before Tess and it was entirely his fault that Liz had lost her innocence and he was now determined to bring her out of her shell. "Liz, I'm sorry. This is all my fault. If I only had run after you that day on the rocks when we heard that false message about our destinies that Tess had fabricated then maybe everything would have been different. I'm so sorry Liz."
"Max, that was nearly five years ago." Liz remarked exhausted.
"Yeah, but that was when everything went wrong." Max confessed, hoping that his revelation would help her be more at ease with him.
"Max, you can't change things. We both know that. I mean when Future M... you came he had nothing left to lose, but we have children now that may just cease to exist if we try to..." Liz sighed inwardly and hated herself for being so logical. She wished that she could go back to that day and fix things that she could have the perfect life that she always wanted- a Harvard degree, a white picket fence and a Max who was always sweet to her- a Max that never was scarred by Tess.
"I'm not suggesting anything like that Liz." He frowned as he saw her face fall. "I was just admitting that what I did was wrong. I wish that I could take back a lot of things Liz, but I can't."
Liz was hurt by Max's declaration and realized just how different her Max was from this Max. Sensing her fading resolve, she snapped "Yeah, well hindsight is always twenty-twenty."
Max looked at her for a moment confused by her change in behavior. He used to understand every one of her emotions, but now he only knew the little that seeped through their connection. He felt her inner turmoil for a second before she blocked him back up again, but he decided not to press her. "I'll go get Alex, ok?"
Liz nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I'll go tell Addy that you're not the evil hateful bastard who only loves ugly gerbils."
"WHAT?" Max shouted, confused.
"Maria. She had Addy calling Michael dumb space boy earlier."
"I see. She hates me huh?" Max asked as he tried to get himself off the couch.
Liz looked at him and tried to force a smile. "I don't know really. But off the record, yeah she does hate you. Maybe even more than Michael."
"Do you? Hate me I mean."
"I wish I could, but I can't let myself hate you." She admitted.
"Why?" He asked confused. "I've put you through so much..."
"Because Max. You have to be a part of my life, we have kids together and as much as I want to just scream and yell and kick your ass and never talk to you again for all the shit that you've put me through, I can't or my kids will be older than I am in a few weeks and I know it wasn't you. It'd be so much easier to hate you, but this is the world that I created so everything is on me. That's why I've just stopped Max... I mean, yeah it's you... god it's you but then I remember and it's me and then you. I can't... I just can't..." Liz got up and started to pace.
"Can't what Liz?"
"Feel Max. God. You know what I'm talking about." She paused and looked into his eyes, which reflected nothing but confusion, before she continued. "Look at me Max... I mean seriously. I look like hell, I keep losing weight, I sleep with an electric blanket so I can keep warm in fucking New Mexico, and I haven't had a regular cycle in years, I... I..." She paused as her small body started to shake uncontrollably. "See. I shake like this all the time. I'm falling apart Max, so just don't try to change the one thing that I have together."
Max frowned and looked her body over. It was true, her skin didn't have the glow that it once had and she had dark circles under her eyes. "I could..." He began and stopped himself. She'd done it intentionally to throw him off. "Liz, all of those problems are because you haven't dealt with any of it. The weight loss, the erratic periods, and the lack of sleep... it's all because you feel guilty over it all. The cold and the shaking are connected to the weight loss. So the one thing you have in control is killing you. Liz... you need to move on from this."
"Max, I can't... I can't stop. Because if I stop then I realize that everything wrong is because of me... I realize that the one thing that I've wanted more than anything I just threw away and I can't dwell on that."
"Liz, none of that is your fault."
"YES IT IS." She shouted while she clenched and unclenched her fists. "All of it is, but no one gets it. 'Liz it's not your fault.' 'Liz it's all ok.' 'Liz, you saved the world.' 'Liz you did what was asked of you. No big deal.' I did it. I DID IT. Not Tess, not you not anyone but me. I made that choice to listen to future Ma... you and this is my future. I killed Alex... I... you... oh god oh god."
"Liz, what is it?" Max asked concerned, again trying to get up from the couch to comfort her.
She grew pale and pointed at Max for a second before continuing. "I killed you... he was there and then when you saw me with Kyle... he was different and then later he was gone. Like you. Wait, not you, the other you and this you isn't you... not my you because you're not you... because I KILLED YOU." Liz rambled as tears began to fall from her eyes.
"Liz, honey no... it wasn't you. I know you don't want to hear that again, but it's true. I'm the one who has messed up every time... you've said it yourself. You know it was even before you changed things. I would push you away when you were what I needed... I was weak even then. Liz, you were what made me strong, but Liz you can't be strong all the time, it's ok to cry and mourn but you need to cut yourself some slack."
"I CAN'T. I KILLED YOU. I killed Alex and then I killed you. Don't you understand? I DID IT. ME. You're DEAD because of me." Liz collapsed on the floor in a fit of tears. "I killed you I killed you I killed you."
Max forced himself off the couch and sat on the floor, wrapping his arms around her. He laid her head on his lap and ran a hand through her hair as she cried. "Shh... it's ok Liz, I'm right here; I'm the one who made the mistakes not you. It's all going to be all right. Shh..." Her sobs grew softer and more muffled before she fell asleep in his arms.
After ten minutes he realized that he needed to retrieve his son from the sitter, but was reluctant to leave Liz and his daughter, who he still hadn’t met. However, he knew that Alex would be left alone if he didn’t go and get him, so he decided to search for Addy and then get Alex. He ventured into the bathroom and saw her tiny frame sleeping on the rug in the bathroom. He looked at her serene expression and smiled. “You look like your mom when you sleep.” Max gently picked her up and carried her to her bed, where he tucked her in and couldn’t help but grin at the teddy-bear sheets. “I promise to never hurt you like I hurt your mom. I love you Addy.” The small girl grabbed Max’s finger momentarily and then let go. He sighed and turned away, shutting the door behind him.
He walked down the hall and stopped to check on Liz one last time before leaving to get his son in a room down the hall. He returned two minutes later with a small brown haired boy with Liz’s wide brown eyes and Max’s ears. Sighing he led the boy to his mother and smiled as he watched Liz in amazement. “Alex, that’s your mom. She’s the most beautiful person in the world, and she loves you very much.”
The little boy nodded quietly and moved slowly over to her side and looked up into his father’s eyes. “Can I?” He asked with his hands positioned right above her head, hoping that his father let him touch her to make sure that she was real.
Max nodded softly, not at all surprised that Alex wanted to touch Liz’s hair, it was one of the things about her that he could never forget the texture of. “Just don’t wake Mommy up, she’s tired.”
Alex nodded and eagerly touched her hair, moving his hands down her chocolate brown tresses. “It’s so soft.” He remarked as he continued to pet her hair like she was a cat. His hands accidentally brushed her face and he immediately stood straighter while a connection was established between the two of them. Instantly, Liz’s sadness, strength and love all flowed through him and left just as quickly. Unsure of what happened he looked at his father and then back at Liz. He ran his hand through her hair again, but didn’t receive any flashes. After a few more moments he moved his hand away and turned to Max. “She’s sad.” He whispered matter-of-factly and met Max’s amber colored eyes.
Max frowned slightly. “Yes Alex, she is.”
“Why?” He asked curiously, his eyes boring into Max’s.
“Because of me” he admitted, running a hand through his son’s hair. “I wasn’t nice to her when I should have been.”
“Oh. Daddy, why do you look so sad?”
“Because I hurt her really badly and she’s still mad at me. Because I love her so much and I blew it.”
“But you’re mommy and daddy.”
“Yes, yes we are. But that don’t mean anything Alex.”
“Because I was mean and I did bad things when I was younger and I left her here when she needed me.” He stared into his son’s eyes and sighed. “I want you to promise me something.” He waited while his son nodded. “I want you to promise never to make your mother upset. Do you understand? She doesn’t deserve to be sad, she should be happy… and I want you to make her happy… I mean it buster. If you want to be mean to someone be mean to me. I deserve it.”
“Daddy, what if I want to be nice to both of you?” Alex asked timidly, confused by his father’s serious tone.
“That would be very good. I love you Alex.”
“I love you too Dad.”
Liz, who had heard the entire exchange, groaned inwardly. It was going to be harder than she thought to keep from falling back into that trap than she thought. She closed her eyes again and decided to sleep a little while longer.
|posted on 29-Jan-2002 5:02:30 PM|
|posted on 3-Feb-2002 3:42:29 AM|
|I outlined the rest of this fic tonight and realized that it's kinda close to over... if you can believe that... (the letters tend to move things along) I just thought I'd pass that along... lol the letters are so much easier to write too... hmmm...|
Fallin' Angel Thanks for the FB ;)
pandas2001 Yeah, both parents need to be present for them to grow normally (how present? Well... that's going to be addressed in the next part, along with some Tess discussion and other crap that needs to be cleared up.) ;D Thanks for your FB
|posted on 18-Feb-2002 11:20:11 PM|
|I really don't like this part... I've dwelled on it forever though and can't come up with any other way to write it, so I'm apologizing in advance for the sucky nature of this part.|
Liz waited a little longer before moving. Finally, after the two of them had finished talking she groaned and blinked. “I’m up. What time is it?”
“Almost noon.” Max answered quickly before turning to their son. “Alex, this is your mom.”
Liz smiled as she looked him over. His hair was styled like Max’s in a mushroom cut, his ears protruded outward while he bit his lip insecure of what Liz thought of him. She met his deep brown eyes that reflected many emotions… fear, confusion and love. “Hi Alex. Are you hungry?”
The boy shook his head in agreement. “Hi Mom… you’re pretty.”
“Thank you, you’re quite handsome yourself you know. Do you know that you have a sister?” She melted as the boy nodded quickly in agreement. “She’s probably asleep in the bathroom. Do you want to see her?”
“He knows all about Addy.” Max added. “But I moved her into her room before I got Alex.” He turned to the boy and ran a hand through his hair. “Why don’t you go meet her while Mommy and I make lunch?”
The little boy grinned and rushed down the small hallway to enter Addy’s room. Once he was out of sight Liz turned to Max. “I want to know everything you learned about Alex, Addy, you, me, Kivar, Tess, Michael, Isabel, Maria, Kyle, my parents… I mean everything Max. Don’t try hiding anything from me like you did earlier.”
“Liz I’ve told you everything that I’m allowed to tell you.”
“Then get out. We’re done.”
“Don’t you ‘Liz’ me. Tell me or go.” Liz barked annoyed.
“I’m not leaving so what do you want to know?”
“Wait, who won’t let me know and why? What the fuck do they think that they are doing?”
Max sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “This is going to take a while and I only know what I’ve heard from servants.”
“Then quit stalling.” Liz snapped and walked over to the kitchen cabinet and squealed with delight when she found four packages of ramen. “Max, boil some water. Does Alex like ramen?”
“I did when I was younger…” Max began as he put the pot on.
“Was I talking about you?”
“No… sorry.” Max muttered as he felt Liz’s walls return, even stronger than before. “I’ve never given him ramen but I didn’t need Tabasco or anything when I used to eat it.”
“Good because Michael and Addy finished the last of it this morning. I think Michael and Maria are doing the grocery shopping… at least I hope they are. Anyway you were saying?”
“Wait, you all live together?” Max asked while his eyes surveyed the small apartment.
“Yeah sparky. It’s not like any of us make enough money for our own place. But I believe that we were talking about the ambiguous mystery men. Who are they and what gives them the right to fuck up my life like this… to create children and then destroy them?” Liz groaned and raked her hands through her hair.
“The priests and priestesses of the granolith.”
“It’s a fucking CONE Max. A big black piece of metal. Who the hell bases their life on that?”
“The metal cone that we got is a physical representation of the granolith… it isn’t the actually granolith.”
“Then what is it?”
“I don’t know… one of the servants compared it to god, but it’s more than that. It is powerful and only the chosen can use its power. The chosen also rules Antar in the name of the granolith… they didn’t really want me to know a lot about it.”
“Because I’m the chosen and you’re not… right?” She sighed as Max nodded. “Lovely, but if I’m… fuck. This is bullshit, seriously. So my mom was the chosen before me?”
“No… that was your father.”
“Oh, ok so how do Kivar and Tess play into all of this… I mean who was Tess anyway if she wasn’t Ava?”
“Um… Kivar was trying to reform the whole granolith ruling scenario like Rheana and Zan were, but he became power-hungry and uh… fell in love with Rheana and killed her because he couldn’t have her… even after Rath, Villandra and Zan were dead. Tess was a husk sent out to destroy the four of us and deliver you to Kivar. They’re both dead now.
“Do we have any other enemies?”
“Liz uh… not many of the conservatives liked Rheana… she didn’t believe in granolith worship, worship of the aristocracy and stuff like that. That’s why I’m not supposed to tell you certain things.”
“Or what? They can’t kill me.”
“You’re right, they can’t kill you but they can kill Michael, Maria, Isabel and Kyle.”
“Yeah, but I mean they’re strong… right?”
“Yeah, they are… but it’s more likely that they will attack Addy or Alex.”
“But what about another heir to the granolith? I mean don’t they want this whole bullshit to continue?”
“Yes, but neither of them have been judged by the granolith yet… so their lives are of no importance to them.”
“But… ugh.” Liz turned and put the packages in the boiling water. “If they liked aristocracy so much, why did they send us to America?”
“The plane was misdirected. They were aiming for Russia.”
“But Russia was communist.”
“But it was all under Stalin’s rule. He was the supreme leader and he was everywhere. There is a rumor that some loyalists changed the directions.”
“I see.” Liz lied. “So exactly how do we get our two kids to grow at a normal rate? Like how close do we have to be? Same town? Same street? Same apartment complex?”
“Closer” Max replied and looked in to her brown eyes. “We have to all live under the same roof.”
“Fine.” Liz sighed and stirred the noodles. “We are having different rooms or at least different beds.”
“Ok, why don’t we go apartment shopping tomorrow.” He watched her move around the kitchen and sighed. He had made her act like this by ruining her life time and time again. She was existing solely for her daughter and it hurt him that Liz, who was so full of life had been reduced to this. “I think the pasta’s done.”
“Yeah… want to get them? We have a pull-out bed in the couch. Um and Addy can sleep with me and Alex can have her room until we get that apartement.”
“Yeah… we didn’t bring much; it’s at the hotel… I’ll get it later.”