posted on 1-Jan-2003 12:13:18 PM
title: to be determined..
disclaimer: I don't own Roswell, or the characters affiliated with the show
couple: Mi/L
summary: follows two companion pieces, 'Drowned Sorrow' and 'Forgotten Wall' (I'll post them soon). Liz follows the crop circles because she is convinced it will lead her to Michael. Takes place after Graduation.


November 10, 2005- Nova Scotia

Another strange sighting that has led to a dead end. It is strange how all the sightings and burned symbols left behind all started three months after graduation, two and a half since I had seen you last. So much time has past since then. Many think that the sightings are a hoax, copycats off of one another. I have to admit, some are. Some don’t carry the energy that I can sense when I step into the strange crop circles that have burned symbols beside them. They are they same symbols from the cave and from the destiny book, along with others I’ve never seen before. That is how I know they are not false. The energy and the familiar symbols. I have copied down all the symbols that have been formed, and catalogued them with date, time, and coordinates. You probably would think to know the time would be a foolish thing to know. It might be, but I won’t rule anything out. Sometimes, the answers can be staring at you, right in the face, but you would never know it until you get a fresh perspective. I will figure this out, Michael. I don’t know why, but something compels me to figure this out, the whole thing.

Elle, our daughter, is doing well. She’ll be three in January. If you didn’t figure it out, it was a nine month pregnancy, unlike Tess’s. I’m still human. My aunt says she’s been talking up a storm, asking how things work and what they do. She says Elle has the mind of a five year old. I don’t know if she’s being biased, but something tells me its got to do with her heritage. I want you to meet her, to be involved in her life. I don’t want you to be this complete enigma to her. There will be things that only you can tell her, answers. Maybe that’s why I search so hard, so that I don’t have to look into Elle’s eyes one day and tell her that I don’t have the answers, because I never bothered to ask you the questions. I never did know you too well. Yes, I know, or used to know, every crevice on your body, what brought you to the edge and back, what made you scream my name. That’s not what she will want to know though. She will want to know who you are, where you came from, how you grew up. I can’t just give her the rough details, because that wouldn’t be the story, your story.

How I fell in love with you, Michael, I have no idea. All I know is I don’t want to give that up yet.

With love,

Liz closed her new leather bound journal, and placed it into her suitcase. She had bought it just a couple weeks ago, to try and calm her inner turmoil. She wanted to get back in control of her life. When she had been in high school, her journal had helped immensely. Of course, she had sent the journal to her father after all of them had left in the van. She had even written that she was now married to Max. She smiled and shook her head. She wasn’t of course. She had written that, in hopes that she could convince herself she was doing the right thing, and then shipped it off to her parents right before they entered the church, wondering what sort of image her parents came up with for her wedding. She imagined her father had an image of something resembling the sixties. Despite all that, though, she had left Max at the alter. Her heart wasn’t in it, so she followed her grandmother’s advice. She wanted Michael, but they had all gone their separate ways immediately after that. Max and Isabel, Michael and Maria, and Kyle and herself. A week after that, she slept with Kyle and screamed Michael’s name. They went their own separate ways the next day. A month, and several men later, she realized she was pregnant, and had heard about the sightings. She knew Elle was Michael’s, though. Elle was developing her own energy, and it had the distinctness that Michael’s had. She couldn’t have been anyone else’s.

It was then that the sightings had started as well, so she began to follow them, despite her pregnancy. She hated coming out to the sightings that only proved to be a hoax. She could always tell, because she wouldn’t feel the alien energy that made her whole body hum, and her heart beat faster. She could always feel the green energy sizzling right under her skin, wanting to be released. There were always people around, though, alien nuts that believed the crop circles burned into fields were signs of the aliens coming for them. Half of her wanted to release the energy, despite them though, just to see what would happen. Maybe that’s what she was supposed to do, but she wasn’t going to take the chance, she couldn’t.

Liz finished packing her single carryon suitcase with the little that she had taken out of it, and closed it up tightly. There was little in there, but it was most of what she owned. A couple different outfits, that could fit to the weather, her new journal, a few pictures, bathroom paraphernalia, cell phone and, of course, her laptop. Her laptop was where she stored all her information on the sightings, and what she used to hack into airline computer systems in order to book flights to different areas. It was the only way she was able to afford going from place to place. Of course, she had a bank account, with fifty grand in it, but that was to support Elle and her extra spending, such as hotels and food. The money didn’t get added onto, so she couldn’t afford the couple dozen flights that she had every year for the past three and a half years. It would have been too much spent. The computer was also her main source of seeing Elle. It was easy enough to hook up one of the video cameras to the computer and talk with her. It wasn’t always enough, but sometimes, it was too much.

Wheeling the carryon behind her, Liz made her way to the hotel lobby.


Liz turned to figure out who was calling her name. When she had left all her friends, she had changed her name to Beth, in hopes to establish a line between her new and old life. With that, also came her new personality and career choices.

“Dave! Hi.” She came face to face with the man who towered over her. He could easily be described as gorgeous. He was easily six feet, with shaggy light brown hair and an easy smile. He had a slight tan to his skin, and was built like a Greek god. What she loved most, though, were his eyes. They had a deep amber hue that matched Michael’s. She supposed that was why she was attracted to the man. She could easily get lost in the depths of his eyes, almost believing that Michael was the one standing in front of her. They had met at one of the sightings, and had seen one another in several since. They shared a mutual interest in studying them, but never discussed their findings, or why they pursued their interest. It would have been too revealing, for her at least.

“Are you off to the most recent sighting?”

Liz cocked her head to the side. Dave always had the inside scoop, especially when it came to the real sightings. Never one had there been a false sighting that he had led her to, and there were nine or ten that he had pointed her out to. The number was small, but compared to the dozens of false sightings a year, it was nice to know she could count on his sources, whatever they might be. “I haven’t heard of another one.”

“Yeah, strangest one yet. It’s out in the New Mexican desert. Right near Roswell, if you can believe it.”

“There’s never been one in the desert. It wouldn’t last, not with the wind blowing the sands. It wouldn’t be a place...”

“Believe it. Holes about seven feet deep make up the lines and curves. The symbols are still burned into the sand. With the rain that happened the night before, it’s glassy. Real strange, but it’s still a sighting. I’m on my way out there actually. Where’re you headed?”

“To my Aunt Sadie’s.” Should she forgo going to see Elle, and make a brief stop near her old hometown? She tried to not miss a sighting, because the energy that may reside there only existed for roughly two to three days. And she didn’t want to see Elle, only to leave her the next day. She felt that what she did was important, but she didn’t know where it was leading her.

“Hey, if you want, I’ll get pictures of the symbols for you. You have e-mail, right?”

“No...yeah. Sorry. I think I’m going to see if I can get a flight out to New Mexico. It won’t take more than a day to gather information.”

“You’re usually at a sight for more than a few days, though.” She watched as Dave gave her a smirk. He knew very well what happened on those other days. When he was there, she would usually end up in his hotel room at night. They weren’t more than friends, but that didn’t stop them from crossing the line, a lot.

“Yeah, but I promised I wouldn’t be gone for more than a few days more. This trip was longer than most. The amount of sightings that have been going on recently have been huge. There’s one at least once a week. It’s been going on for three months now.”

“You believe that all of those sightings were real? You know as well as I do that some people are just wanting to bring attention to themselves in the UFO world.”

“You’re right, most of them have been false. Only five have actually been real. I hate having to go out to each sight to determine if it’s real or not. It’s a waste of time and energy on my part.”

“You never told me how you determine if it’s real or not.” He gave her a small smile.

Liz shrugged her shoulders. “Just the feel of the place I guess. How the burn marks are made, the braking in the crops or grasses.”

“Sounds like bullshit to me.”

“It is.” She nodded her head in agreement. There was no way she was going to tell him she could sense the alien energy. “So how do you do it?”

“Super computer. It registers fluctuations in the atmosphere. I had taken an energy scan at one of the sightings and was able to hook myself up into one of the U.S. satellites and read off the energy fluctuations that occur.”

“Then what the hell are you doing out here, at a false sighting?”

“Looking for you, actually. Hadn’t seen you in over a month, and needed to check up on you. Been a while since we’ve been so long apart.”

She snorted. “You make it sound if we’re in a committed relationship.”

Mockingly, he put his hand up to his chest. “We aren’t?”

“Sorry to break it to ya, but your one of many.”

“Nah, I just worry about you. You go chasing after all these sightings, not knowing what could really be at these places, and you don’t travel with anyone. I just want to look out for you.”

“Thanks, but no thanks. I’m a big girl. I’ve been doing this since I was eighteen and pregnant, I think that I can manage being on my own?”

“Pregnant?” He was shocked, and at a loss for words.

“Yup, with my daughter. I never told you?” She wasn’t affected by him being shocked. It was really no big deal that Dave hadn’t known.

Dave seemingly recovered from a shock. “We never talk about outside crop circles, Beth.”

She shrugged. “I guess we don’t. Yeah, she lives with my aunt, down in Florida. One of my aunts, at least. She and my mom haven’t spoken in ten years or so. I had gotten in touch with her when I was pregnant, and she, not having any kids, wanted to keep Elle around after I had her. She knew that the crop circles are important to me, so she watches after my daughter when I’m off on my trips.”

“How old is your daughter? Elle?”

“Yeah, Elle Michaela Parker. She’s almost three. What about you? Any kids? Wife?”

“Yeah, I’m out with you, right behind my wife and kids backs.” His sarcastic manner had a sting to it, though it was obvious it was a crude joke.

“Hey, not like I haven’t been with a married guy before.” She barely mumbled the words, but Dave could still make them out, and she could barely make out how he flinched at the words. “Dave, you don’t think that I’ve only been sleeping with you, do you? That we’re somehow exclusive? A lot of people might frown on my behavior, but they can just go screw themselves. What I do is my business, and I don’t let others dictate what I do. If you have a problem with that, then you’d better not try to dictate what I should do with my life. It’s as simple as that.”

“No. No problem.” What else was he supposed to say, yes, because I’m in love with you? That would probably just chase her away. “Listen, I’ve gotta get going if I’m going to check out the next sighting. You’re welcome to come with me in my plane, if you want.” He jerked his thumb to the lobby doors, as if the plane could actually be right outside the doors.

“You’re certain that it’s a real sighting?” Liz bit the inside of her cheek. She should really go see Elle. Besides that, the awkwardness between Dave and her was definitely building. That was why she never spoke about Elle to anyone outside the little town in Florida.

Dave nodded. “Yeah, the energy signatures the same.”

“Then is the offer to e-mail me the pictures still open? Obviously, I’m putting a lot of faith into that hardware of yours, and to you to get me the pictures. Every symbol, how they’re placed, what their coordinates are, what time they were formed, everything. Hell, if you think that the depth of the imprints are important, then can you get me that too.”

“Yeah, what’s your address?”

Liz pulled a pad of paper out of her purse, along with a pen, and quickly wrote down her address. “Thank you, Dave. It’ll be nice to see my daughter again, without the aid of a computer. I’d better go catch a cab.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you...whenever.” He gave her a tight smile, before kissing her lightly on the lips. “Bye, Beth.”

“Bye.” She waved as she went to check out, and to call a cab, leaving Dave to himself. She didn’t want to leave him, but she didn’t want to go and end up falling for him either. She was already doing that, despite everything, Michael included. She wasn’t ready to give up Michael, though. If she were, she doubted she would be chasing crop circles hoping they would lead to him somehow. She let out a deep breath. Time to see Elle, and pray to God that her daughter hasn’t developed any powers in the time she was gone, because she had a temper that could match Michael’s, and she never liked when Liz was gone for more than a week. Three months was far too long.



(There is an Ari, but I didn't know that 'till after I registered. sorry)

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 2-Jan-2003 9:27:22 PM ]
posted on 2-Jan-2003 9:25:26 PM
thanks for the feedback Anya.

Uh, yeah, this is completely unrevised. I've never posted a part this soon after writing it before. It babbles and could probably use some work, but I hope it satisfies.

Disclaimer: I don't own um.

part 2

Dave watched as Liz walked over to the checkout counter. There was no reason for him to wait for her. Damn it! He learned more about her in five minutes today than he had in the year he’d known her. He learned more than he wanted to.

Swiftly, he walked out of the hotel doors, and towards his limo, but not before he slammed his fist into the brick wall outside. It didn’t affect the wall, but it certainly affected his hand. He could tell that there would probably be some bruising under the cuts that had formed on impact, but it didn’t bother him at the moment.

He hopped into the limo, where he wouldn’t be seen by anyone but his companion. Quickly, he reversed the shifting that he had done on the little he could do with his skin and cartilage. He waved his hand over his face, putting his nose, lips, eyebrows, and ears to their original form. His skin color and hair color also resumed their normal shades. Not wanting to deal with a sore hand, he quickly healed the cuts and bruises to reveal smooth skin.

“Not happy, Michael?”

He glowered at his smug companion. “You wouldn’t be all that happy either, Maxwell.”

“What happened? You’re never upset after spending time with Liz.”

“Yeah, well, I just got a dose of reality, and let’s just leave it at that.” Michael slouched down into his chair. Max always wanted to know everything, and he hated it.

“Michael, what happened? What did she say to make you so upset?” Max gave a slight chuckle. Michael was never upset anymore. He was still a stonewall, but rarely was he seen with a scowl anymore.

Michael paused for a moment, wondering if he should tell him. Yeah, Max had become accepting of him wanting Liz, but only after he had gotten enough flashes, and had witnessed Liz’s calming affect during the times they were together at the crop circles. It didn’t mean that Max loved her any less, though, just that he became aware that there were others around him who had feelings. Carefully, he decided to tell Max. “She has a daughter.”

“What?!?” Max sat up in his seat. “What do you mean? I don’t recall her ever being pregnant! Not before, not after!”

“She’s almost three, which means she was probably conceived before, or right after, Liz left. Her name’s Elle.”

Max slouched back in his chair. Liz had a daughter, that was obviously not his. They had never slept together. It could either be Michael’s, or one of the dozens of other men that she slept with. It was no secret that Liz had been with other men before Michael, and after. He certainly didn’t like it. When he found out Michael had slept with her again, after beginning to trace all the crop circles, and finding Liz doing the same, it had hurt. At the same time, though, he knew Michael would look after her, and told Michael, point blank, that he should become the men that Liz slept with. Max’s connection with Liz would allow her to sense him very easily, but not Michael. He knew that somewhere he was just playing with Michael’s feelings for Liz, but his overriding sense that he couldn’t have Liz sleep with a different man every time she went somewhere new, had him scurrying for a quick solution. One man, Michael, capable of changing his features enough to become someone new, was his answer. Aside from knocking Liz over the side and kidnapping her, he knew a few words wouldn’t stop Liz’s behavior. If he could, he would ride in with a white horse and snatch Liz up as quickly as possible. At the same time, though, he knew she would never accept him in the role he wanted to play. It took a long while to accept that, and sometimes he still didn’t, but he wanted Liz to be happy. He didn’t want to see her affected by disease, regret, or anything else that could manage to plague her. He knew that somehow, even with several different masks, Michael was able to protect her from all of that. Someday, if Liz ever learned of what Michael has been doing, she would be grateful in some way, to know that there weren’t as many men as she thought there had been in the past year.

Dave. Max could see her falling for him. Unfortunately, he didn’t know what to do about the inevitable hurt that she will feel in learning Michael and Dave were one and the same. At the same time, though, he hoped that she would turn to him for answers. Did that make him a bad person? To want her to feel betrayed by Michael just so she might turn to him? Probably. He wouldn’t act on his feelings though, at least he hoped not. Michael was his brother, despite their shared love for Liz.

Liz had a daughter. Elle. He could only imagine what that was doing to Michael. Michael was head over heals in love with her. Max still loved Liz, and felt the same way, but he also fought through his emotions to find peace with himself. What was the saying, ‘If you loved someone enough, you should be able to let them go?’ He knew it was for the person’s happiness, and all he knew was he wanted Liz to be happy. When he was younger, that was what brought him the most happiness, to see a smile light up on her face. It had been a long while since he had seen that smile on Liz. He knew that Michael would bring her that happiness, but he also knew it was too dangerous to reveal his, Michael’s, and Isabel’s identities. The special unit was still tracking them, along with their enemies. He worked too hard to clear Liz’s name from their list. She was the only one that had never actively used her powers in front of them, so a false report and false doctor’s notes from her physician was enough to create a lot of doubts in their minds. That, and Isabel planting the doubts in their dreams about torturing an innocent human, got the job done pretty well. Clearing him, Michael, and Isabel was a whole lot harder.

Max shook his head to clear his thoughts, and focus on Michael. “You said her name’s Elle. Elle Parker, right?”

“Yeah. Elle Michaela Parker. To be three in January. Liz was pregnant with her while researching the crop circles.”

“She’s yours.” Max was certain of it. He reached over for the bottle of brandy and poured himself a glass. After him getting drunk the first time, it no longer affected him so severely, neither did it Michael. Isabel still didn’t want to take the chance. It was like the chicken pox, after being infected severely once, you could be exposed numerous times without breaking out. Of course, they could still get drunk, but it would take a whole lot more than a sip.

“Wait, how are you certain? You knew about her, didn’t you?” Michael’s voice rose.

“No, and lower your voice. Our driver can still hear us if we’re loud enough. Her middle name is Michaela. Out of everyone for her to share a name with, it’s you. Why not Alex? Don’t you think that she would want her child to carry on her best friends name? Instead, she chose you. She didn’t give Elle your last name, so she did the next best thing. She has your first name instead. Think about it.”

“You really think she’s mine?”

“Besides, if she had a normal, human, pregnancy, then she had to be pregnant back in May. The two of were together then.” It was still difficult for Max to get over their obvious betrayal and lies.

Michael scratched his eyebrow. “Why didn’t she tell me then?”

Max swished the brandy around in the glass. “I don’t know, man. Maybe you should ask her.”

The limo came to a stop, and Max could see that they were now at the municipal airport, where their private plane was residing. He gulped down some of the brandy before putting the glass down in the cup holder.

“We’re here, Michael. Come on. Crop circles await.”