Title: A Sorta Fairytale
Couples: M/T
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine. Lyrics are from Tori Amos' "A Sorta Fairytale"
Description: Post ITLAITB, Tess reflects on her new life.

I smiled up at him the morning after our first encounter in the observatory – there was nothing else to do, we’d been playing this game for as long as I’d been in Roswell, I wanted him, or at least I had. He was my destiny, I was supposed to be in love with him, that’s what Necedo had said for all these years, and I believed him. I had always liked fantasy, you know, the helpless princess who comes alive with a kiss from her prince’s lips, I was a living breathing fairytale you know, ever since I emerged from my pod. See, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Cinderella and Tess Harding all have something in common; we’re all created princesses with our fabricated prince Charmings and King Zans.

(and I knew then it would be a life long thing but I didn't know that we... we could break a silver lining)

The only problem with the real-life model, my king had already saved another girl, Liz Parker, because he believed in fantasy just as much as I did, that’s why he clung to his promises of forever, even after his image of the future began to eat away at her. If only I had watched her fall, she might have taught me something, If only I had been listening, I wouldn’t be filled with the same disease.

(the girl had come undone I tried to downplay it)

But now I have no choice you see, last night, Max and I, we had our happily ever after, you know the storybook ending where the prince fucks the princess and gets her pregnant. It was always my dream, it had to be, it had been ingrained in me since childhood. Sometimes I wish that I could turn off his voice in my head, but then there would be nothing there, every last thought I have is of destiny and obligation my people – people that I’ve never met. But I understand now, why Necedo would read me princess stories, let me watch Disney movies, it was so I could sugar coat it all. He made it so that I actually believed that Max and I were destined to be great loves, yeah, if you consider great loves to be that big busted blond and her handsome and mysterious ride out a very long orgasm, even though his pencil sized dick and speed should be in the Guinness Book of World Records for worlds smallest and worlds shortest – I regret it all. Please remember this when you hear the stories about how in love Max Evans and Tess Harding, king and queen of Antar are, I, Tess Harding, regret it all and I love Kyle Valenti.

(you'd take it as long as I could I could not erase it)

I hold these truths to be self-evident, Max Evans is my destiny, we were created for each other, just like Sleeping Beauty was created for Prince Charming, just like the glass slipper was created for Cinderella. I don’t have an escape, I’m an alien princess, I’ll grow into a queen, Max into a king, just like we were on Antar, we’ll marry, I’ll give birth to his sons, it will all look perfect on the outside, but he’ll always be dreaming of Liz, his image of forever, and I’ll be dreaming of Kyle, who loved me like a sister… like they do in West Virginia.

(and I’m so sad like a good book I can't put this day back a sorta fairytale with you a sorta fairytale with you)

So I’m sitting here in his jeep now, he’s taken my hand in his, the naïve me would smile, but he took my innocence away, just like my dreams of silk sheets, rose petals and happily ever afters. I still haven’t told him that I’m pregnant, but I know already, we were so fucking stupid, we are so fucking stupid, I hate alien genes and the instant knowledge that I’m becoming a statistic. If I loved him more, if I actually loved him, not the idea of him, I could be happier, I could paint illusions of us taking the baby to school and everyone congratulating me. The only one I can see being happy about this is Liz, but see she’s not selfish enough to let anyone else know that about her, but I can imagine the spark of life that will magically come back to her. My only regret is that Alex, her best friend isn’t there to see it. He’s dead and I’m dying, but in a different way, I’m jealous of Liz and I’m jealous of Alex, they’re free and I’m here sitting in the jeep, Max holding my hand, Kyle holding my heart, while I’m holding a baby in my womb.

(and I ride along side and I rode along side you then)

I watch him smile, he’s getting into town, he looks so happy, I wonder what made him smile, but I smile back, hell, he’ll never know that I’m not really smiling, he’s so self absorbed. I wonder what made him so delusional, I wonder what made me this delusional, in that way, we are perfect for each other, we’re complete idiots. Subconsciously, I rub my stomach with my free hand to see if something is there, I’m going to be a mom – that should mean something. It will, it’s all so fresh, I reassure myself. I always wanted to be a mother, I’m not exactly mothering, but I wanted to be, but I wanted to mother Kyle’s kids, not Max’s. I sigh; he’s passing the Crashdown and wonder if he’s going to stop. I just want to see Liz’s tired eyes, something that tells me that this was worth it; I hope she’s happy, happier than Max. He drives past, it makes sense, why would he want to see the face of the girl that he loves, or loved, I’m not sure with him anymore.

(and I’m so sad like a good book I can't put this day back a sorta fairytale with you a sorta fairytale with you)

Little does he know, Liz never loved him, it’s something only I seem to understand, probably because we have both been trapped in the fantasy of the same man. It all makes perfect sense in my head – he was infatuated with her, after all, she’s quite beautiful. Then one day she gets shot and he saved her life, because this could be his damsel in distress who would love him forever. He puts her on this pedestal, but no one can ever meet Max’s expectations, however, she tried. She felt obligated to him because he saved her life and she fell in love with him, because she had a mild case of hero-worship. It’s gone though; she’s given up her images of white horses and princes, alien kings with soulful eyes, all because she got to experience the entrapment that I’ll feel for the rest of my life.

(find a little in you find a little in me, we may be on this road but we’re imposters in this country)

You think I’m lucky, I got the boy with the amber eyes, the boy with the healing touch, the boy who will become a king. No, Liz is lucky, Liz gets to have a future with the Sean Delucas, the Michael Guerins, the flawed boys that the real Liz Parker wants, not the cookie cutter vision Max had of her. Liz gets to fulfill her dreams and go to Harvard, become whatever and whomever she wants. She’s lucky, she’s escaped the fairytale, she doesn’t have to wait for the happily ever after that will never come – she got out. I’m not, I’m stuck here, I’m carry a baby, whose father is my warden, I look like the bad guy. I thought I wanted this, but I never did, Necedo wanted it for me, it was all created for me, I never had a choice. But I get the picket fence and the 2.5 children as a consolation prize.

(and I’m so sad like a good book I can't put this day back a sorta fairytale with you a sorta fairytale)

Max stopped the jeep, he’s at the Valenti’s now, he’s still smiling that dopey smile, I wonder if he gets it, if he’ll ever get it. But I don’t have the heart to tell him that there is no happily ever after for him, there never was and there never will be. Our child doesn’t need two cynical parents, but one thing is for certain, we are never feeding it stories of fantasy, I can’t watch my child face my fate. I sigh and kiss him on the cheek, thank him for a wonderful evening, tell him to call me and make my way inside. I stopped in front of the mirror, a smile still plastered on my face, one that doesn’t reach my eyes, my eyes that are now a dull blue and I screamed, this is hell, and I’m living it.

(and I, I don't didn't think we'd end up like... like this)