|posted on 23-Sep-2001 9:08:50 PM|
|We were on this HUGE bed, and we were kissing for hours, heavily and passionately, and he kept whispering to me "I love you", and "your so beautiful". Then I fell asleep in his arms and he held me close.|
Of course, everyone knows im a dreamer. none of this would ever really happen. I cant believe I fell for my best friend. It feels so wrong, but I cant help but smile.
Isabel Evans, ice bitch, slut, and a spoiled brat. She has him wrapped around her tiny little finger.she treats him like crap but when she wants something, its the cover for niceness with him. Its like he's hypnotized by her.
I love him so much. but I would never tell him that. I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship and the good times weve shared... into something uncomfertable and icky.
he's the type of guy that would never ruin your heart and dreams. Max did. he slept with the gerbil. the same fucking gerbil that killed him. murdered him would be the correct term.
oh, I miss him so much. I'll never have my dream come true. he meant so much to me. now he's gone. I'll never be able to laugh at his corny jokes or hold him when he crys over how isabitch hurt him again. I'll never be able to feel his arms around me to keep me safe when I was hurt by max. those warm, inviting arms. I miss his smile and the movie nights we always had.
I go to his grave site every thursday. our former movie night. I'd rather visit him than eatch another fucking movie. it surprises me that maria never comes to visit. she says it makes her way to sad... but I just think its all about michael.
we're all seperated now. max wants me back and he's always saying he's sorry. I want to forgive him, but I just cant. he treated me like dirt for so long, slept with the gerbil, made a son, and let the gerbil live and return home. what an ass. kyle is into isabel now.what can I say? opposites attract! I guess I always thought he could do better. michael and maria are now jointed at the hip. im all alone.
I got to his grave and I just stand there and stare at the stone that lays above him. I cant find the words to say. I sit down, still staring at the stone. I cry so hard, my body is shaking. I cant hold it in any longer. I cry and cry for hours. I finally get tired and I lie down on the grass. I start to drift off and I whisper "I love you alex"... "I always will"
Im a True Bluer...Im a Polarist...Im a Donor for life!
Proud member of the Isabel_Evans_Resistance_Forces