posted on 4-Nov-2001 8:19:52 PM
Title: In a Dream…
Author(s): Gaudicia and talena
Disclaimers: All rights and all that mumble jumble belongs to Melinda Mitz and Jason Katims
Category: Zan/Liz (with other CC/UC…yes unfortunately that includes King Maxie and his gerbil)
Rating: PG-13 to possible NC-17
Summary: He was left to die, abandoned by his own family…the only thing that kept him alive was the person in his dreams. When he awakens, he soon finds that love he had been waiting for his closer than he could have imagined. (Was that good or what?)
Caution: This fic is the result of all our pent up anger over season two and with the fact that we are both in denial over what has happened…. (Zan and Alex aren’t dead, they’re just sleeping until someone awakens them…) there may be lots of M/T bashing…we’ll try to tone it down for the kiddos.


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Prologue: Silent Night

Silent night, holy night…

Ava stared up at the Christmas tree, and pulled her coat closer to her body. The wind was chill and occasionally a small breeze would pick up messing up her hair. She stood oblivious to the rustling around her. She just stared aimlessly at the tree in front of her, lost in thoughts.

All is calm, all is bright…

Ever since she left Roswell she felt different, more like lonely. Liz had shown her a friendship that no one had. In that short time she stayed with Liz, she had shown her what friendship truly meant.

'Round yon virgin Mother and Child, Holy infant so tender and mild…

It was as if a new side had been awakened in her...a side she didn't even know existed. It had always been there, but had lain dormant while she was with her 'family'...the side Zan had been able to bring out a little. And Ava realized...Liz had brought out the human inside of her. It was frightening and exhilarating at the same time. And when she left Roswell, she found herself wanting to stay...to stay and be with the only person she could call a friend...sister even. But she continued to travel, alone and full of grief. With each passing day, she became even more humane, and she used her "gifts" to help others whenever she could, and she felt useful.

Sleep in heavenly peace, Sleep in heavenly peace…

When she was living with Rath and Lonnie, they had made her feel insignificant, as if she didn't matter. As if they could kill her off...like they had done to Zan. A tear rolled down her cheek as she thought of the man she had loved, the only man who had ever cared for her. And again the feeling of helplessness swept through her, just as it had that day when she watched him tumble into the street. Ava realized that she had never really properly grieved for him. And as she watched the people walk by through the corner of her eyes, a sort of longing swept through her. She watched as a group of punks, two girls and two guys fool around with each other, pushing each other...and a memory surfaced in her.

Silent night, Holy night…

Like always it was just the four of them, from time to time they would push each other, trying to relieve the boredom. They were in the Christmas season, but they really didn't know what was the big deal with it. All they saw was that everyone around them were carrying bags, of what they guessed were gifts for they could see the wrap of the ones that didn't fit into the bag. Neither of them would admit it, but a sense of longing shoot through out them. There were so many things they couldn't have, so many little things they never experienced, but neither of them would admit to ever having such thoughts.

Son of God, Oh love's pure light…

Zan was always trying to learn things, he had always known when one of them was unhappy, and he had to admit he also wanted to know what was this day all about, so he did something unexpected. Just as they were passing by a church full of people he pulled them inside, not caring about the looks they received. He just wanted to learn and for them to learn. He was being their leader. And they were all left speechless when the priest approached them and asked them to join them.

Radiant beams from, Thy holy face

And that had left them speechless, as people all over came up to them and began to wish them Merry Christmas. And when every one settled down again, carols were sung, and the four of them stood back and listened. Ava leaned onto Zan's shoulder as they watched the Christmas tree light up with beautiful lights and candles were lit as they turned out the light. It was enchanting and warmth had spread through her.

"Zan?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"Merry Christmas Ava."

That was the first time her heart had stirred and she still thanked Zan for that memory. Ava stared at the Christmas tree as the voices of the past echoed in her ears.

With the dawn of redeeming grace, Jesus Lord at Thy birth

"Merry Christmas, Zan."

Oh Jesus Lord at Thy birth...

"Ain't so merry now is it?" A voice from behind her whispered into her ear, and she froze, her heart pounding in her chest. No! It can't be! But it was, she would know him anywhere. Tears began to stream down her cheeks as she spun around, to be greeted with the eyes she knew so well. A gasped whisper escaping her lips, "Zan..."

Sleep, Sleep,
Sleep in heavenly peace, Sleep in heavenly peace, Sleep in heavenly peace, Peace
Sleep, Sleep,
Sleep in heavenly peace…

To be continued…

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[ edited 1 time(s), last at 11-Nov-2001 8:13:34 AM ]
posted on 11-Nov-2001 8:11:41 AM
We really appreciate the feedback!!!

Title: In a Dream…
Author(s): Gaudicia and talena
Disclaimers: All rights and all that mumble jumble belongs to Melinda Mitz and Jason Katims
Category: Zan/Liz (with other CC/UC…yes unfortunately that includes King Maxie and his gerbil)
Rating: PG-13 to possible NC-17
Summary: He was left to die, abandoned by his own family…the only thing that kept him alive was the person in his dreams. When he awakens, he soon finds that love he had been waiting for his closer than he could have imagined. (Was that good or what?)
Caution: This fic is the result of all our pent up anger over season two and with the fact that we are both in denial over what has happened…. (Zan and Alex aren’t dead, they’re just
sleeping until someone awakens them…) there may be lots of M/T bashing…we’ll try to tone it down for the kiddos.


Chapter 1

Anger. Relief. Fear. Confusion. Loss. Love. Sorrow. These were the emotions sweeping through Ava's being at the moment as time seemed to have stopped. Never in her lifetimes had she ever felt so many emotions at one time. She was angry at Rath and Lonnie for what they had done to Zan, but more angry at herself for doing nothing all the while to prevent it. Relief to see him standing before her once more, and to find that small part that had died with Zan was now alive again. Fear of Zan for what he might do to her, and fear that he wouldn't know the truth...that she had nothing to do with his assassination. Confusion rampart, as she pondered how he had survived. She had thought him dead as Rath and Lonnie dragged her away from his body, her eyes sweeping back to look at him. Love for the only man who had ever made her feel so much in both lifetimes. Sorrow and loss for how she felt before Liz had swept into her life. Sorrow because of the cold and hardened look in Zan's normally melted amber eyes.

But most of all shock captured her so that she could just sit there staring at Zan while he was obviously ignoring her gaze. They had walked back to Ava's place, their old lair in silence with Ava trailing staring blankly at Zan's back and were now sitting near their pods. Zan had said nothing to her or even acknowledged her in any way.

She was getting restless, already a finger nail was missing, and her hands were sweating. She had no idea what to expect, she so much wanted to ask him how he had survived, but she stayed silent as all those years living with him had taught her. A part of her suddenly thought. Why should I stay silent and wait for him to talk? I have a right to know. Ava was filled with courage, the courage Liz's friendship had given her. "How did you---?" But she couldn't finish the questions, fearing that if she finished the question he would disappear.

Ava's voice made Zan finally look directly at her, anger filling his eyes. "How did I what? Survived?" He asked quietly, but to Ava it seemed he had screamed it at the top of his lungs.

Ava just stared at him for a few minutes, trying to see if the old Zan was in there somewhere. He seemed so much like a stranger now. But after a few moments of finding nothing, Ava looked down and nodded meekly. Zan, whom was watching her the whole time, his angry eyes taking in her meek form, smirked. Finally he just gazed at the weakly glowing pods behind her, and if possible his eyes hardened even more.

She didn't expect him to answer her, after all she didn't really deserve one, but his voice startled her as he spoke quietly, distantly.

"Well you already know the story. My "family" left me for dead so they could fucking go across the country to do some little midget's bidding. Only thing is, they didn't check to see if I was dead." His voice dripped with sarcasm as he spoke.

"Zan..." Ava said, reaching out to him, but he pulled away, making her long for just a small touch.

Zan continued as if nothing had happened as if he hadn't seen the hurt in Ava's eyes. "You know, I almost really died... But that what you wanted, wasn't it? For me to die," Zan said, wanting to hurt her, as he had been hurt by his "family's" betrayal.

"No, Zan--"

Again, Zan interrupted her, and continued with his story. "Serena found me, my protector, if it hadn't been for her, I wouldn't be here. A complete stranger saved me, a protector, that I once told myself I would never trust and she was more trustworthy than the "family" I had."

***flash***

He turned around just in time to see the rushing wings of mortality disguised in a truck's outline, an d the upcoming light seemed to light the way to death, and in the next instant there was nothing.

A void. Black, dark, everywhere he looked there were shadows as he heard the distant sound of retreating feet. Where am I? He thought as he gazed wildly around for any source of light. And in that moment it all came crashing down on him. The pain and the pain of the realization of what had happened. His family...his very own family had betrayed him.

Standing there in the shadowed darkness, he never felt such pain or loneliness. Yes, the great King Zan, the Man, himself was feeling so lonely. It was something no one could ever get the concept of. In both lifetimes he had never felt so detached from everyone, and now as he stood in the land between the living and dead, it was clear what his decision would be. So he fell, fell into the welcoming arms of death, closing his eyes as if to sleep forever.

They came slowly, one by one, seemingly carried by the wind.

Don't you realize what you are to me...and you're always gonna be? You're the love of my life. Everyone else is gonna be second best. There'll never be another YOU!

...I love you...I'm so sorry...

An angel's whispers becoming stronger and stronger with each passing word, warming his cold being more and more. Without thinking, he reached for the voice, letting it lead him back to consciousness.

Groaning in pain, Zan's eyes snapped open as he took in his surroundings. Zan noticed his state of nakedness, and the sheets over him, when he was going to sit up a hand pulled him back down and said, "You are still weak. I'll get you some water. Stay put."

Zan infuriated, glared at the back of the woman. When she came back with the glass over water, he asked, "Who are you?"

The woman smiled. "My name's Serena, your protector."

Zan jumped out of the bed, the sheet falling off him, giving Serena a full view of his body.

Serena eyed him, completely. "Not bad, Zan, not bad." She praised; suppressing her giggles as he tried to get the sheet out of the bed to wrap around himself, but failing miserably since one end was held by his foot. When he pulled the sheet harder he fell backwards, and she fell on the floor laughing.

*End of Flashback*

A small smiled tugged Zan's lips as he remembered that day, but his eyes grew hard again, when he looked at Ava.

Ava met his eyes for a brief second, and told him about their trip to Roswell, she told him everything except about her friendship with Liz, she wanted that untouched, it will be a memory she alone would treasure. It wasn't every day that she would make a true friend. When she finished her story they just sat in silence.

Ava was lost; she needed to have stability. "What happens now, Zan?"

To be continued…

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Want more? You do? It was scientifically proven (by our own scientist, Liz Parker) that feedback fuels inspiration.