posted on 2-Dec-2001 6:22:03 AM
Title- A Mother's Decision
Author- Katalina / ll Katalina ll
Disclaimer- Nothing is mine, not the characters not the song.
Summery- Song fic I guess. The song is by City High. POV-the song is Liz’s POV and the rest is some else’s.
A/N- I’ve never written a song fic so I don’t know if there are like rules I should follow. Just read the lyrics being that that is the basis for the fic and then read the part after. Tell me what you think! Feedback is a necessity of life!


"The Only One I Trust"

This is a ghetto fairytale

It was two weeks before my son's birthday
D.T's ringing my bell (Ma'am we need to ask a few questions)
They told me the raid would go down any day
If I was smart I wouldn't tell
It was all over him
My boyfriend the criminal
He was caught up in the game
And the FBI warned if I didn't go along
They'd make sure I never saw my son or my boyfriend again

But how could I just turn him in?
(Ma'am if you don't help us, you'll never see your son again. Trust me)
He would always tell me

I know your afraid
But you can't leave me now
Lean on my shoulder
Soon it'll be over
I'm trying to build our future
I'm doing this for us
Your the only one I love
The only one I trust

I'd been with him for about 4 years and I swear
He gave me anything I could dream
But the life that he lived was a nightmare I swear
Wasn't clean he was blinded by the cream
All the murderous capers, the trips to Las Vegas
Making millions from papers must say (nasty money)
Stuck in my head like a song, I saw every sin I knew every wrong
And if I don't go along, I'd never see my family again


(So what’s it gonna be?)
(I know my rights)
(One phone call from me and your son's going to a foster home.
Answer the question)
(I don't have to answer shit)
He would always tell me (tell me yeah)

I know your afraid
But you can't leave me now
Lean on my shoulder
Soon it'll be over (soon it'll be over)
I'm trying to build our future
I'm doing this for us
Your the only one I love
The only one I trust

It was Saturday evening, we were home watching TV
He looked in my eyes I wanted to cry (oh)
My son ran to hug him, he kissed him goodnight
How could I do this, could I do this? When I knew he would die
FED's rushed the door, yelled 'everyone on the floor'
My man pulled his nine and started to fire
He was a soldier of cause in a war he couldn't win
But without him I'm lost
So I stood by his side and went down with him

Oh
No no no no
No no no nooo
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Oh
Oooooh
He would always tell me

I know your afraid
But you can't leave me now
Lean on my shoulder
Soon it'll be over
I'm trying to build our future
I'm doing this for us
Your the only one I love
The only one I trust
I know your afraid
But you can't leave me now
Lean on my shoulder
Soon it'll be over
I'm trying to build our future
I'm doing this for us
Your the only one I love
The only one I trust

I'm sorry...
I'm so sorry...


I’m Brendan Guerin and 15 years ago last night I saw my parents killed. Not murdered, but killed nonetheless. I was 3 years old at the time but I remember it so clearly it hurts. My mother was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I guess to the eyes of a three year old his mother is always beautiful but I have picture of my parents together and yet to have seen a women so beautiful. My Aunts Isabel and Maria say that I look just like my father Michael. My Uncles Max, Kyle and Alex say that I look just like my mother Liz. I have pictures of all of them back when they were teenagers before I was born. My mom and dad were together since they were seniors in high school. I was born when they were 19 and they died when they were 22. I can’t say I remember very much about them, well real memories at least. But I have heard so many stories and pictured them so many times that my real memories of 3 years and memories of over 20 from my family often get mixed up in my head. From what they tell me they were a perfect couple.

Aunt Maria, Uncle Alex and my mom were best friends since before they were born, or so Maria says. Their mothers were all friends, went to the same Lamaze classes and each had they’re baby within 3 months of each other. First Alex then Maria and finally my mom. Even though the difference was only months Alex says that they were always protective of Liz as they’re “younger” friend. They remained best friends until the day she died. Alex and Maria got married a year later. They now have 3 kids, Beth, Justin and Suzy.

Uncle Kyle dated my mom for a while during freshmen year but it didn’t go anywhere so they broke it off. He married my dad’s sister Isabel when they were 25 and I was 6. They have 2 kids, Nick and Kim.

Uncle Max and my mom also dated but during sophomore year. They were going strong the whole year but that summer all the romance dwindled away and by the time school started for junior year they were just friends. Uncle Max married Aunt Ava when they were 30. He was the last to get married.

So here I am. Graduating from the same school my parents did, but they are not here with me. When they died I went to live with my grandparents. When I was 12 my grandparent’s died in a car crash and I went to go live with Alex and Maria. By then they had all they’re children so I have grown up with them.

Sometimes I hate my mother. I hate her for choosing my father over me. That she would rather die with him then live with me. That I wasn’t as important to her as my father was. My family says that it is ok to have strong emotions. That my father had a hard time expressing feelings too but that my mother helped him. Other times I blame my father. Why did he have to live the life he did? We didn’t have to have everything as long as we had each other. I remember my mother crying late a night when he didn’t come home, worried that he was dead or dying somewhere alone.

Then I realize there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. They are dead and I am alive. My mother chose to die that day. You may wonder why I know that. How can I know that she choose to die and didn’t just die in the crossfire. I was standing in the hallway and she looked at me, right at me, her baby. She looked at my father, took his hand and stayed by his side instead of running to stand with me, away from the shooting. My mother chose to die that day with the man she loved. I may not understand all the reasons that she gave me up; I may even hate her at times for doing it. I think that she made the wrong decision, but I do want that kind of love someday. The love that I will sacrifice everything for, but I never want to have to make the same decision she did.

I am Brendan Guerin and I will always remember my parents.

I will always love my parents.

But I may never understand they’re actions.








[ edited 2 time(s), last at 4-Dec-2001 3:45:14 AM ]
posted on 4-Dec-2001 3:52:26 AM
Sorry, this is my only one like it. Lol, and since I only got 2 replies I'm thinking it gonna be the only one. Ever. I liked it though so it's all good and I'm glad you two told me what you thought!