posted on 28-Nov-2001 11:36:54 PM
Title: Is this Desire?
Author: Gretchen
Rating: NC-17
E-Mail: haunted_dildo⊕
Disclaimer: The characters arn't mine.
Other: The title/premise is kinda sorta based on a PJ Harvey song. It's post Missing, and Liz writes in her journal. I really liked it yesterday, but now I'm not as happy with it, but let me know what ya'll think.
I don't know what it is, what's wrong with me, but I haven't been the same since Michael returned my journal. I really don't understand it, this feeling that is growing within me... it's new, raw, and extremely enticing. What is this newfound nervousness that occurs in Michael's presence? These new thoughts that have imbued my brain, usurping all of my senses, my hormones forcing my mind to do their bidding? Why is it that now I need to convince myself that I love Max... I used to be certain, but now I am not. What is this that leaves me wondering if this desire that I have for Max enough, enough to lift above this thoughts? I really don't know anymore.

It's strange really how this all came about, it was as if the night that I had that talk with Michael I awoke inside, I felt more alive than I ever have with Max. It's different, new, exciting. What's weird is that I had my first sex dream last night, and it was Michael laying me in a bed of roses, kissing me all over, pleasuring me, preparing to enter my womanhood.

He is a kind and gentle lover, taking extra care to not hurt me as he enters my soft feminine folds, he reaches my boarder and looks at my face, a silent plea asking, begging for entry, the right to come with me and end my last moments as a virgin. I oblige, urging him forward past this wall of chastity and into my warm wet fortress, his cock claiming it as his, a victor in this unseen war of mind and body. Giving into desire, we move together, slow at first, then we gain momentum, rapidly reaching our impending release. It is perfect, exquisite, no language has the words to describe this new bond that we have made, two virgins growing, changing, evolving- together. We loose all control as one mind, one body, our fluid combining, signifying this union that allows us entry into this new world, of pure, unyielding love.

I wonder, is this desire?

It is a dream, an illusion that has occurred every night since that one moment when we actually sat down and talked, bared our souls, let down our guards. It is a dream that I carry in my heart, a dream of what will never be... I am too much obliged to Max, why did fate curse Max with the gift of healing and not Michael? For if it was Michael who I owed my life to, I could give everything to him, give him things which I could never fathom giving to Max. However, I will continue to carry this dream with the knowledge that it is desire.

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 19-Dec-2001 12:18:35 AM ]
posted on 18-Dec-2001 11:53:24 PM
maxiesdreamgirl - Yes, I wrote a tag to this from Michael's POV... I guess it's not on this board, but I'll post it here for you.
I think it's longer than the other one, but I could be wrong.
Title: Secrets in his Mind (Secrets of Desire)
Author: Gretchen
E-Mail: haunted_dildo⊕
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don't own shit.
About: I decided to write a tag to Is this Desire. I suppose this can stand alone, but I suggest that you read the other fic first. Mmkay? The title still comes from the same PJ Harvey song.
Damn Max. I mean god, he's a fucking child who gets whatever he wants then dumps it by the wayside when he's done. I hate it, how she cries, breaks... but then she's so beautiful, so delicate when her eyes are filled with tears... her sadness is almost as beautiful as her happiness... and I want to make her happy, to be the one to take her small body in my arms as she lets it out. She holds too much inside, she needs someone who won't leave, won't take a step back when it gets too intense, she needs someone who won't leave her here crying. She needs me.

But that wouldn't work, no, she likes me as a friend, a friend without benefits, a friend who supposedly is with her best friend, a friend who has a girlfriend that fucks her best friend, Alex every night. I'm happy for Maria. Really, I am. Alex is perfect for her, and I'm perfect for Liz. I'm happy that she's with someone else, it makes it easier to pine over Liz since I don't have to worry about Maria suddenly starting to get flashes.

Liz Parker. Her name alone evokes emotions that any focused stonewall should never experience. I must be hard, cold, that's how I've always lived, but now as I watch her, I feel myself crumbling, being plowed through by this wrecking ball of emotion. Love. Lust. Compassion. Those are the emotions that I wish to share with her - ONLY her. I want her to hold me while I hold her... I want to cook her breakfast, protect her, love her completely. But that can never be... it is useless to spend all my time thinking about a girl who could give less than a rats ass about me, but it's desire... and who am I to deny what I feel, especially when it has already caused the my stonewall to weaken.

I want to emerge from the shadows, to reveal my position on her balcony and enter her room, to take her in my arms, to throw her onto her bed while she whispers sweet nothings... that it's me, it's always been me that she wants. I want to kiss her passionately, savoring the taste of her lips while we delicately remove the clothing from our bodies. I yearn to look into her eyes and silently ask her if she'll allow me this privilege.

"Michael?" I heard her voice, soft and husky, while a soft warm breeze caressed my neck. Wait... did she just... is she... I turn and meet her questioning eyes, and am relieved that she is content with the idea that I am here watching her, but I still lower my eyes, ashamed that she caught me.

She placed her hands on each of my cheeks and lifted my face to meet hers and smiles seductively before her soft supple lips are pressed against mine. That kiss was electric, passionate, better than anything I could have ever imagined. Once air became a necessity she broke away but continued to look at me with a fire in her eyes, breathing out the five words that I have wanted to hear for longer than I could remember, five little words that make the entire world turn upside down. Five words that still warm my heart. "Make love to me Michael."

I nodded my head and followed her into her bedroom, the two of us hungrily kissing each other while discarding clothing as we went. She smiled wickedly and pushed me down onto the bed, then climbed on top. I found it surprising that she was this forward, but I learned earlier, when reading her journal, that Liz Parker is full of surprises. "Michael, I've wanted this for so long... I've wanted you. I love you, I want you to love me too."

"I love you Liz, I've always loved you, but shouldn't we..." I couldn't believe that restraint came out of my mouth, especially since "seize the day" is my motto.

"No! Now Michael, I need you... please... take me as yours. Forever. If we don't do this tonight, we may never have the courage to do it again... and we both need this, we need each other." She looked so scared, so frantic as she whispered, "I need you inside me" while leading me to her opening.

I knew that I should have stopped her, but I couldn't think logically then... all I could do was surrender to this desire that I had for her. I slowly entered her and crept upward until I hit a soft border, the last hurdle that was left before we became one. I quickly looked up at her heated gaze and she immediately whispered "it's ok." and urged me on past this wall, allowing me admittance into her secret garden.

I slowly glided in and out of her savoring each feeling of pure, unadulterated pleasure as I came in contact with her wetness. Liz squirmed underneath me, signaling that she wished for us to go at a faster pace. We moved together fast, slow, slow, fast, fast, in and out, out and in the two of us undulating in a united wave of passion, as we came closer to release. I felt her walls clamp down upon me and I thrust into her one more time, causing our climax to crash over us. We came together, marking a union that was devoid of soul-mates, ridiculously high expectations, caution, but filled with love, lust, and trust.

What resulted was a love so perfect, so true, so wonderful, a love that still lasts today, a love that will last throughout time, a love between Michael Guerin and Elizabeth Parker.