|posted on 22-Feb-2002 4:28:30 PM|
Rating:Not sure yet,but it'll probaly turn out being R or more.
Disclaimer:I don't own anything...haha,now you can't sue me
Catagory:Everyone,but mostly about Is,Micael,and Max.CC
Feedback:I'd sure appreciate some,as this is my first Roswell fic ever,I could realy use some advice.
Authors note:Everything that you don't understand will be explained and all flashbacks are written like this
The silence grew thick,and her eyes flickered up briefly,wearily eyeing the other girl,before looking away.It as a forced movement,one that didn’t go unnoticed.A quiet sigh escaped her lips before she returned her thoughts to the methodical application of her berry frost lip gloss.In the hush,she waited for the tell tale signs of her departure.As usual there were none.And she knew it would only be in vain,to wait.
The sound seemed to drift uneasily in the lull between them,but was easy to ignore.
Carefully….carefully,she applied her eyeliner.
The heel of her fine leather boot clicked loudly on the hard linoleum floor when she began to tap her foot,hummingly quietly as well.It had become a habit of hers,Born out of an extreme unease that seemed to linger long after the cause was gone.She rarely ever did it anymore,except in times like these.
“Leave me alone”was her quiet,firm reply.It almost always was when she came around,but it’s not like she ever listened.
Lifting her head Isabelle eyed her dejectedly.Her hair hung limply around her pale drawn face.Her eyes were flat and glassy with unshed tears.And questions that she refused to answer.”You know why?”she answered with feigned distraction as she applied a coat of pale pink lipstick to her lips.Almost distractedly she turned on the tap and stuck her hand under the icy flow of water.
A little water clears us of this deed.
Her fingers froze beneath the tap and she paused for a moment before turning it off.Blinking slowly,she forced away the memory of water tinted pink with blood swirling down the drain,and the smell of blood,so thick she could almost taste it.
Her head tilted slighty,only a half nod,but an acknowledgement none the less.”Micheal”she offered quietly,not bothering to wait for a reply because she knew there wouldn’t be one.
“They want us to choose”came the quiet whispered voice.
“Who gets to die”
His voice,almost cold in it’s calmness,seemed to echo off the plain gray walls they’d been forced to grow used to over the last few days.
Isabelle’s hands trembled slightly,at the distant,but still unnerving memory.Almost three months had past since that day they’d been lured to the dessert and taken.When they’d awaken it had been to a pale gray,plain jane room.No bed.No windows.Just walls.
“Down the rabbit hole”
Down the rabbit hole.
“Down the rabbit hole”she echoed quietly.Her lip began to tremble slightly at the memory of how they’d been released suddenly with reason and what they’d found the next day.
What would you have done?
“What?”She noted the small tremble in her voice and decided to hide it better the next time she spoke.
If you had known.What would you have done?
Isabelle winced.She had hit a sore spot.As usual.
Slowly she shrugged,her uneasy tremble showing through her forced calm façade.”I would have stopped him”she answered sincerely,without hesitation.”I would have told him he was wrong”
“About everything”she replied.
Quietly,staring up at the darkened ceiling,she tried to remember what milky moonlight piercing the dark looked like.The sound of someone shifting against the hard stone floor pulled her from her thoughts.
“Max?”she questioned quietly,and when she got no reply,she asked,if possible,even quieter,”Micheal?”.
“Is”came the soft reply
”what are you doing up?”she asked quietly.
“What are you?”he replied.
“Thinking”she answered quietly.”Me too”was his reply when he finally did the same.
“About what?”she asked turning over on her side to face the darkness where she thought he would be.”About what they want us to do”he replied,”I don’t know if I can”.
“Doesn’t matter”she sighed quietly,”we’re not going to choose.Either we all leave this place,or none of us do”
“I would’ve listened more.I would’ve tried harder to hear what he was saying”she continued.”I would’ve asked why he looked so sad that last day….”
There was silence for a moment before Isabelle finished quietly,”….I would have had the sense to be more afraid”.
The room had cleared around them.Alex had walked Maria home,and Kyle and his father had given Liz a ride.Only Max,Michael and she remained.In the silence she studied Max’s face,and Michaels back as he stood in front his apartment window staring out at the street below.
Their cloths were still stiff and dirty with sand and old sweat,and their skin was slightly tanned.They had walked most of the night and the day to get back to Roswell,and she was sure,their ankles,like hers were throbbing.When she got home,she would soak them,along with the rest of her body in a tub of warm water.
Michaels voice pulled her from her thoughts.Behind the couch Max stopped pacing.
“Your parents.Do you think they missed you? Do you think they worried?”
His voice was so light and surreal.Isabelle felt her hands start shaking.”Yes”she replied quietly.
“That’s good”he paused and seemed to fight the impulse to glance back at them,staring steadfastly out the window instead,”It was worth it then”.
“What was worth it Michael?”Max asked quietly.
In the faint reflection of the window she could see Michaels brow furrow as if they’d missed something that was completely obvious.
“I was worried’he continued quietly,then added a moment later”You should go.Their probably up waiting for you.”
“Everything’s fine Is.Everythings realy fine this time”he cut her off,then paused and his shoulders slumped,”I’m just tired that’s all….I’m just so tired”.
“That’s okay Michael”Max said quietly.Isabelle noted that,much like her voice,his voice trembled as well.”Just get some rest…you just need to rest”.
Michaels eyebrow arched slightly,as if Max’s words had offered him a realization he couldn’t find anywhere else.”Your right.I will…from now on I will”.
“We left then.We didn’t have time to stay”she paused and her eyes fell to her hands,grasping the sides of the sink tightly,until her knuckles turned white.”If I’d known I would have made time to stay”.
But you didn’t.
She shook her head slowly.”I didn’t.”
“The next day….the next day he didn’t show up for school.He didn’t show up for work”.
She paused again and took a quivering breath,”so I called and…”
And that feeling you got?
“I thought it was cause I was tired.I had’nt slept at all the night before.I couldn’t.I kept wondering why they had gone through all the trouble of taking us,just to let us go,for nothing”.
But you realized you were wrong.
She nodded.”I couldn’t figure it out.Why they hadn’t made us pay for our freedom like they had been boasting they would all that time we were there.And then I realized that they had”.
Her boots pounded the pavement stares up to his apartment,Max following closely behind,having fallen silence when he realized he wouldn’t be getting any answers out of her right now.
Waving her hand over the lock she didn’t bother knocking before walking inside.Her breath caught in her throat when she was greeted with the thick coppery scent of blood.
“It was everywhere.On the upturned tables,On the overturned chairs.Smeared on the walls…everywhere”
Without waiting for Max she followed the trail to the bathroom.
“They’d put him in the tub…when they were finished….hurting him,they put him in the tub”She fell silent the memory of the nausea the violent scene had caused and the sound of Max gagging into the toilet behind her.
“We made a choice”.
To do what?
“To hide it.If they found that…any of that they’d test the blood….they’d know…so we got rid of it”
“His body.We brought it out to the dessert and….”a harsh sob escaped her lips,and her hands tightened on the icy porcelain,”…and we….burnt it”.
There was only silence.No reply,so she continued.
“Then we went back to the apartment and cleaned everything up,and when we were done,it was the same as it’d always been”.
“Except Michael was gone”
A lull grew between them and she let her head roll on her shoulders,taking in a deep trembling breath before continuing.”When they asked….when someone finally cared enough to wonder where he was we told them he’d left,and everyone believed us.I guess it’s just easier to believe the worst.I guess Michael hadn’t earned the benefit of a doubt from anyone…but it worked out well for us”.her hallow laughter echoed quietly in the tiny bathroom.”He loved us enough to die for us”.
Did you love him?
Isabelle’s eyes clouded with warm tears as she contemplated her answer.”When they asked me to choose,I wouldn’t.Not because I couldn’t,but because I didn’t want to die…I was willing to let them take all of our lives because I was to selfish to choose myself…but Michael wasn’t”.
Did you love him? Came the question again.
A sharp knock comes at the door and Isabelle glances up,her eyes catching hers for a linger moment until the sadness there frightens her enough to look away,but she can’t.Disgusted with her self she shatters the mirror.Looking back at her is a reflection of how she really feels.The sadness.The loss.Everything,every scar the world outside the bathroom door will never see.
“Isabelle come on!”Max shouts impatiently on the other side of the door,”I don’t want to be late”.
A slow,forced smile worked it’s way across her lips,and she wasn't surprised when her reflection didn't smile back.It never did.
Pulling on her jacket she unlocked the door and said quietly before pulling it open and waltzing out back into the real world,”Obviously not enough”.
Max returned his sister's smile as she marched past him and glanced inside the empty bathroom.He thought he’d heard her talking to someone,but inside there is only emptiness and silence.His eyes linger on the shattered mirror for a moment before he turns away.
It begs the answer to a question only Isabelle knows.An answer he knows he’ll never want to hear.
Note 2:This is my first try as Roswell fanficdom so be gentle.
[ edited 2 time(s), last at 22-Feb-2002 4:37:29 PM ]